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1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,185
- Shower drain still clogged ?
- Yup
2
00:00:34,373 --> 00:00:38,502
look at us Pete
life seem dull lately ?
3
00:00:58,638 --> 00:01:02,101
Not anymore, now that
I have to learn to drive with one eye
4
00:01:05,872 --> 00:01:07,498
so, fun day at the park ?
5
00:01:07,498 --> 00:01:10,009
- I got kicked off the team
- now what'd you do ?
6
00:01:10,676 --> 00:01:13,298
- I spiked the second baseman
- that's all part of the game
7
00:01:13,775 --> 00:01:17,612
- our second baseman
- oh, yeah that's wrong
8
00:01:18,883 --> 00:01:23,359
I'm in right field, I cut off a ball and gap, and fire rocket to second
9
00:01:23,359 --> 00:01:28,243
schmeco drops it and tells me:
"try not to throw out your shopping arm"
10
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:38,966
that's when I reared in, and I cleared him in the chin
these co-ed softball leagues are all sexist
11
00:01:39,455 --> 00:01:46,701
co-ed, as in boys and girls working toiling, sweating together towards a common goal ?
12
00:01:47,394 --> 00:01:50,979
Hardly, they're forced to have at least two girls on the team
13
00:01:51,124 --> 00:01:54,864
So they hide one of them in right field,
and bury the other one as a designated hitter!
14
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,896
Yeah, cause they wanna win
kidding, kidding, kidding
15
00:01:58,575 --> 00:02:03,026
you know, I have the perfect solution
16
00:02:04,686 --> 00:02:06,838
- come play on our team
- yeah
17
00:02:07,935 --> 00:02:12,310
- we don't have a team
- Pete, I have a dream
18
00:02:13,585 --> 00:02:19,064
a dream, where women are
free to roam all fields, not just right
19
00:02:19,089 --> 00:02:24,567
but center, left,
and yes, even short stop
20
00:02:24,934 --> 00:02:27,517
- even pitcher ?
- Sorry kid, that's man's work
21
00:02:29,293 --> 00:02:30,956
I am through ...
22
00:02:33,356 --> 00:02:35,781
Pete, here's the roster
23
00:02:36,235 --> 00:02:43,425
you, me, and seven gorgeous babes,
in skin tight baseball pants
24
00:02:44,362 --> 00:02:47,909
Hah, this sounds great, but
you know me, I hate to lose
25
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,434
Who said anything about losing?
26
00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,345
- What is the number one college women sport in the country ?
- Basketball
27
00:02:54,077 --> 00:02:54,945
- after that
- volleyball
28
00:02:54,945 --> 00:02:55,793
- after that
- softball
29
00:02:55,793 --> 00:02:56,889
softball
30
00:02:58,473 --> 00:03:05,106
- and what's the city, with the most colleges ?
- Boston
31
00:03:05,387 --> 00:03:09,656
right-o, we recruit seven
gorgeous ringers,
32
00:03:09,681 --> 00:03:14,111
from the finest women softball teams
in Boston, what do you say?
33
00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:16,937
Play ball
34
00:03:19,815 --> 00:03:20,983
we'll practice
35
00:03:24,392 --> 00:03:31,480
- Bill, if you sponsor us it'll be great publicity for the pizza place
- yeah, like the 1985 Beacon street little cheeses
36
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:36,777
- yeah, they made the headlines
- for being the first team in little league history to lose every game
37
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:39,735
there're always drowning their
sorrows in my free pizzas
38
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,557
they got so fat I had to drive them
to the game in groups of three
39
00:03:44,284 --> 00:03:47,751
- but this isn't little league
- yeah this is us, it'll be fun
40
00:03:47,751 --> 00:03:52,688
come on bill
I bet you were quite an athlete in your day
41
00:03:52,688 --> 00:03:57,819
- what do you mean "in my day"?
- Did I say "in my day"?
42
00:03:58,998 --> 00:04:04,631
Well I can't play anyway
Ellen won't let me wear a cup
43
00:04:06,982 --> 00:04:09,133
- excuse me?
- We're trying to have kids
44
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:11,011
and I read some articles
in the doctor's office
45
00:04:11,036 --> 00:04:12,835
that said you're not
suppose to heat up you n...
46
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,167
your t...
47
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,047
your ... area
48
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:25,110
- come on Bill ...
- hey hey hey, the man said no, no means no
49
00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:26,108
thank you Berg
50
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,528
I guess the league champ this year
will be Tessio's pizzeria
51
00:04:31,148 --> 00:04:32,676
- Tessio's?
- Yeah
52
00:04:33,219 --> 00:04:38,354
you know, our friends down the street,
the ones who slip their coupons into our pizza boxes !
53
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:40,932
When they're not doing that
54
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,555
they're out there winning
big softball trophies
55
00:04:43,637 --> 00:04:45,559
with no one to stop'em
56
00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:48,583
but no big deal
57
00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:53,910
When do you need the uniforms?
58
00:04:53,935 --> 00:04:56,815
If we get them by the end of the
week we'll have a game this saturday
59
00:04:56,816 --> 00:04:59,384
- ok, when do we play Tessio's ?
- A week after that
60
00:05:01,473 --> 00:05:05,296
- Bill, Bill, where are you going ?
- As a gesture of our sportsmanship and goodwill
61
00:05:05,296 --> 00:05:09,269
I'm going to go over to Tessio's,
and wish them the best of luck,
62
00:05:09,294 --> 00:05:13,145
and as I'm leaving, I'm gonna
stick my menu in his front window
63
00:05:15,143 --> 00:05:19,360
- yeah
- ok, so when do we get to meet these ringers you've been bragging about ?
64
00:05:19,598 --> 00:05:27,117
No time like the present, Sharon, Pete, let's give it up for your Beacon street pizza all stars
65
00:05:27,559 --> 00:05:35,167
meet our out field, Madeline,
Jennifer, and Michelle,
66
00:05:35,192 --> 00:05:42,799
our third baseman Liane the riffle,
and this ... is ... Bunny
67
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:55,305
- you expect me to play with a team full of chicks ?
- Hey squirt, three of us play for Boston college
68
00:05:55,305 --> 00:05:59,928
- I play for Florida State
- and I play the main stage at "topless topless topless"
69
00:06:02,464 --> 00:06:06,505
she strips, to take me out to the ball game
70
00:06:07,799 --> 00:06:11,413
wait wait, Sharon, what's the matter, you're afraid you're not gonna be the best girl on the team?
71
00:06:12,013 --> 00:06:17,124
- We'll see, alright girls, let's hit the cages
- oh, I don't feel like dancing
72
00:06:21,929 --> 00:06:25,216
- the bating cages
- oh
73
00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:39,587
- alright, eight players, we're one short
- I know, I was counting on Bill, but this cup thing caught me off guard
74
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:43,449
- alright, who're we gonna get ?
- You know ! I love baseball
75
00:06:44,786 --> 00:06:51,130
but they said I threw the world series, I was banned from the game and thought I would never play again
76
00:06:51,488 --> 00:07:00,593
then one day, this couk in Iowa tears up his farm to make a baseball field, he built it, we came
77
00:07:04,064 --> 00:07:08,795
that's, that's terrific, listen, we're just gonna step over here into reality
78
00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:14,227
- yes
- Pete, it's pinball girl
79
00:07:14,227 --> 00:07:16,345
ah, she comes in here just to torture me
80
00:07:16,345 --> 00:07:18,349
"ease his pain"
81
00:07:20,754 --> 00:07:25,613
look Pete, you've been drooling over this girl for three months, go talk to her
82
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:29,267
- no, she's way outta my league
- "go the distance"
83
00:07:33,582 --> 00:07:39,681
Pete, don't you see, now we have a softball team
look, don't forget why we got into this
84
00:07:39,681 --> 00:07:43,473
- what? To be shallow and manipulate women ?
- There you go
85
00:07:43,742 --> 00:07:44,663
can I have some change?
86
00:07:46,572 --> 00:07:51,078
- Um
- thanks
87
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,637
"don't be a woos"
88
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:08,033
ah, excuse me, can I talk to you for a ...
hi, um, you know, I couldn't help but no...
89
00:08:11,673 --> 00:08:14,018
hey look, here dad wants to play catch with you
90
00:08:18,105 --> 00:08:25,674
you know I couldn't help but notice that you are a really good pinball player
you know, nobody hits the crazy horse multi bonus bomb more that you
91
00:08:25,674 --> 00:08:28,871
- thanks
- so you must be great at softball
92
00:08:29,494 --> 00:08:32,141
- why is that ?
- I don't know
93
00:08:33,898 --> 00:08:37,814
but, but, my friend and I are starting up a team and we're looking for a ninth player
94
00:08:38,089 --> 00:08:44,057
I love softball, when I was little I used to play with my brothers
I used to beg them to let me pitch
95
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:47,781
- that's fine cause we're looking for a pitcher
- can you get me on the team ?
96
00:08:49,776 --> 00:08:53,863
I'll have to ask the coach
coach says yes
97
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:55,641
alright
98
00:08:55,641 --> 00:08:57,209
- I'm Pete
- April
99
00:08:58,045 --> 00:09:02,527
- so I'll see you saturday 3 o'clock at Bill Bakner park
- I'll be there
100
00:09:06,383 --> 00:09:10,487
Pete Dunvill with the play of the day
101
00:09:17,005 --> 00:09:21,371
- hey, how'd my team do ?
- 16 to nothing
102
00:09:21,371 --> 00:09:28,024
the empire called the game after the first inning, it's called the mercy rule, saves the losing team from further embarrassment
103
00:09:28,024 --> 00:09:35,526
alright Beacon Street Pizza
bring the team in, I'll give'em all free .. Medium .. Salads
104
00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:40,407
- thanks Bill
- Tessio is going down
105
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:54,797
- are you like a compulsive liar or can you control it?
- I didn't lie, I said 16 to nothing, I just didn't tell that we were the .. Nothing
106
00:09:55,197 --> 00:09:59,364
I can't believe we lost to .. Flowers By Bruce
107
00:10:01,488 --> 00:10:06,833
- Sharon shake it off, alright, it was our first game, we'll get better
- yeah, we shoot April in the head
108
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:13,486
- well, you know, you know, it's so easy to blame April
- actually Pete, it is
109
00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:19,102
- she walked the first twelve batters
- yeah, alright, but then she settled down
110
00:10:19,102 --> 00:10:23,111
- she found the rhythm
- her home run rhythm
111
00:10:24,895 --> 00:10:29,142
- what was that, six in a row ?
- You should've pulled her, he told me I could pitch
112
00:10:29,142 --> 00:10:30,717
alright, Sharon you're over reacting
113
00:10:36,638 --> 00:10:42,155
"Thank you for our first
ever win", Flowers By Bruce
114
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:45,718
- It was fun, you keep in touch
115
00:10:54,011 --> 00:10:57,123
well, look who made a friend
116
00:10:58,547 --> 00:11:04,703
alright, that's it, April's not pitching again since I am
you got a problem with that, I'll kick your ass
117
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:10,389
can I take these flowers? They're really brighten up my kitchen
118
00:11:13,359 --> 00:11:16,581
- what is with her?
- What is with you?
119
00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:21,384
- What happened to mister "I hate to lose"?
- He finally met pinball girl
120
00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:32,310
well, good for you, but that doesn't help me with the rest of the girls
look, they want April out, Bunny, quite frankly was embarrassed
121
00:11:32,808 --> 00:11:40,288
- Bunny? The exotic pole dancer in right field was embarrassed
- she's a champion pole dancer
122
00:11:41,928 --> 00:11:43,743
they retired her thong
123
00:11:47,396 --> 00:11:53,759
alright, you know what, forget it, April loves to pitch, and I want April to love me, end of story
124
00:11:53,759 --> 00:12:01,090
boys, I just got off the phone with that stuffed pepper Tessio
made a little bet on saturday's game
125
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:06,521
- how little? We're talking little right?
- Oh no, if we kick Tessio's butt
126
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:12,579
he and his delivery boys and to stand in front of their own restaurant and pass out flyers for Beacon street Pizza
127
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:18,727
- that doesn't sound so big
- dressed as meat-balls and calzones
128
00:12:21,216 --> 00:12:30,089
- and so, uh, if we were to lose ...
- 16 and nothing, hey my boys aren't gonna lose, my boys are winners
129
00:12:36,551 --> 00:12:40,205
don't worry, I think you look good in anything
130
00:12:45,878 --> 00:12:52,646
there are three things I don't wear, sandals, turtle necks, and italian food
131
00:12:53,921 --> 00:12:57,283
look, just tell April she can play
right field, Sharon will pitch
132
00:12:57,308 --> 00:13:00,719
and we'll move Bunny to second so
she can be closer to me on first
133
00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:05,792
- hi coach, can I talk to you for a minute
- he'll be right there
134
00:13:08,383 --> 00:13:13,143
you're doing her a favor, she's
humiliating herself out there
135
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:18,311
yeah I know you're right,
but she looks so cute in her uniform
136
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:22,636
just relax ok, take a deep
breath, and I want you to
137
00:13:22,661 --> 00:13:26,778
picture you and me, dressed
up as a number four combo
138
00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:29,958
hey coach
139
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,770
- April
- tough game today
140
00:13:34,394 --> 00:13:38,984
- yeah yeah, you know April ...
- Pete, you were so wonderful
141
00:13:39,463 --> 00:13:43,024
anyone else would have pulled me out of the game and stuck me in right field
142
00:13:43,024 --> 00:13:48,277
- yeah but you s ...
- but I know you have confidence in me so next game, I'm gonna prove you right
143
00:13:48,277 --> 00:13:52,750
- but I ...
- but I know it won't be easy, so we're gonna have to work together every night this week
144
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,100
every night ?
145
00:13:59,157 --> 00:14:09,491
And after the game, we can celebrate at my
parents house on the Cape they're in Europe
146
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,211
so what were you gonna tell me?
147
00:14:17,177 --> 00:14:18,021
I ...
148
00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:24,421
ice that arm
149
00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:40,224
- ah, that's better
- lucky I'm a doctor, you had a big knot in your thigh
150
00:14:41,105 --> 00:14:47,938
- thanks
- you know, I'm thinking of specializing, in exotic dance medicine
151
00:14:52,886 --> 00:14:56,460
- Berg
- Bill, Bill! What're doing here?
152
00:14:56,460 --> 00:15:04,322
Came to see my team kill Tessio's
why the cheerleader's playing catch?
153
00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:09,211
Those aren't the cheerleaders, that's the team
you see, it's a co-ed league
154
00:15:09,211 --> 00:15:14,649
yeah I know, but you only need two girls, you hide one in right field,
and you bury the other as designated hitter
155
00:15:15,851 --> 00:15:18,613
oh, April, put a jacket on that pitching arm
156
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:21,294
April, you're pitcher's name is April ?!
157
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,440
- Hi, I'm Bunny
- right field
158
00:15:26,363 --> 00:15:29,305
- what're looking at?
- A meat-ball and a calzone
159
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:34,808
look at the size of the guys from Tessio's
oh my God, those are the women!
160
00:15:35,175 --> 00:15:36,145
Play ball
161
00:15:39,216 --> 00:15:39,791
go
162
00:15:40,778 --> 00:15:42,787
- start us off
- at the middle
163
00:15:42,787 --> 00:15:44,973
- cute shoes
- thanks
164
00:15:46,343 --> 00:15:52,537
okay, I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing you haven't told April she's not the pitcher
165
00:15:56,461 --> 00:16:01,189
- finally, our first hit
- of the game
166
00:16:06,317 --> 00:16:11,438
look I'm telling you, Berg, she's been working really hard all week, alright, it's only fair to let her start
167
00:16:12,201 --> 00:16:12,949
alright
168
00:16:15,859 --> 00:16:18,861
alright, these cheerleaders' got game
169
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:23,494
- alright I'm up
- wow wow, send in one of the girls
170
00:16:23,991 --> 00:16:30,920
- yo Madeline, grab a bat
- hey Tessio, you don't know a strike zone from a calzone
171
00:16:31,411 --> 00:16:33,535
- I just made that up
- really!
172
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:33,798
Yeah
173
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,566
alright alright, I'm up
174
00:16:45,259 --> 00:16:50,270
but listen, if April starts sucking up
a storm out there you're gonna pull
175
00:16:50,295 --> 00:16:54,971
here out and put in Sharon, we can't
afford to lose ... this ... game
176
00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:59,291
okay, but if you excuse me, I
have some runners to drive in
177
00:16:59,316 --> 00:17:03,263
I think you're gonna have to
take that up with the natural
178
00:18:24,449 --> 00:18:30,424
- alright April, a fire in there
- ball three
179
00:18:30,694 --> 00:18:36,652
- hey Pete, what size meat-ball do you wear?
- Alright, time out, time out
180
00:18:39,695 --> 00:18:42,575
- I know, I know, I have to step towards the plate
- no it's fine
181
00:18:42,575 --> 00:18:44,294
- my release point's off
- no that's great
182
00:18:44,294 --> 00:18:47,959
losing my concentration I can't stop thinking about you and me at the Cape
183
00:18:49,138 --> 00:18:51,230
remember between the shoulders and the knees
184
00:18:52,869 --> 00:18:58,206
great job April, you're the best
okay, she's gotta go
185
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:03,273
look, she's really looking
forward to take me to the Cape
186
00:19:03,298 --> 00:19:06,708
if you don't pull April out,
right now, we're gonna lose
187
00:19:07,369 --> 00:19:10,751
- are you willing to sacrifice the team so that you can have sex?
- Yes
188
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:12,606
I've gotta respect that
189
00:19:15,512 --> 00:19:17,417
- you do?
- Absolutely
190
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:26,152
damn, I wish I could respect that
look, this is all wrong, it's all wrong
191
00:19:26,152 --> 00:19:31,583
I can't do this to you, I can't do it to the team
April, alright, ah ... right field
192
00:19:31,583 --> 00:19:33,806
Bunny second base
Sharo
193
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,370
- Cough up the rock
- Hey, wow wow wow
194
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:41,338
- Now listen, Tessio, he loves to crowd the plate.
- Not my plate.
195
00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:50,977
- third ball
- well well well, look who's on the mount, tinker bell
196
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:54,366
don't hurt your dusting arm
197
00:20:04,993 --> 00:20:08,386
- Hey, you hit Tessio
- He was crowding the plate
198
00:20:08,386 --> 00:20:10,766
- you did that on purpose
- come on
199
00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:11,659
- come on
- yeah
200
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:18,583
- wow wow wow, I can't hit you, you're a girl
- there're all girls
201
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:20,245
except those two
202
00:20:28,045 --> 00:20:29,786
- hey it was nice working with you
- it's been a real pleasure
203
00:20:29,786 --> 00:20:30,179
yeah
204
00:20:40,198 --> 00:20:45,137
- eat at Tessio's best pizza in Boston
- Pete, smile
205
00:20:46,118 --> 00:20:49,823
wait wait wait, my sauce is crooked
206
00:20:51,127 --> 00:20:55,077
- say "cheese"
- bite me
207
00:21:02,993 --> 00:21:09,939
- man, Berg, Bill is never ever gonna forgive us for this
- oh relax, he's got a healthy sense of humor
208
00:21:13,809 --> 00:21:16,542
I'm not even talking to you guys
209
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:32,970
now how can you tell me, that genetic engineering could possibly benefit society?
210
00:21:32,970 --> 00:21:37,433
Through out human history, we've been frightened by technological advancement
211
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:42,625
- yet we've always adapted to it
- he's right, it's not the technological advancement that we should fear
212
00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:45,522
but the misapplication of it by unstable minds
213
00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:50,122
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