All language subtitles for The Sweetest Thing 720

Christina Walters?

God, I haven't
heard that name in ages.

You know the kind of woman
who can get any guy she wants?

That's Christina Walters.

We dated, you know,
briefly.

But, uh, she's not
the commitment type.

She's a player.
She just likes to have fun.

I met Christina at a bar.
Hot piece of ass.

Totally hit it off.
All night long we dance.

I buy her drinks.
At the end of the night,

she just splits.

I lay down all that
groundwork for nothing.

She gave me her number.
It's been like three days.

Hello, and welcome
to aol moviefone.

I stay up nights trying
to figure out why she said
she'd call and didn't.

Maybe she wanted to call and
that's why she said she was
gonna call, but when she was--

¶ Christina ¶

¶ Christina ¶¶

you know, prolonged impotence
is very common
after a breakup.

Lots of men suffer from it.

They just don't talk
about it, you know.

Not like me, gabbing away,
gab, gab, gab, gab.

But even still,
because she said
she was gonna call,

she should have called
to say she wasn't
gonna call.

Then I would have thanked her
for calling to say
she wasn't gonna call.

But hey, you know, at least
I don't get that dizzy,

head-spinning nausea
as much as I used to.

Yeah, you know, like I said,
I'm doing fine.

I am fan-fucking-tastic!

¶ This is my ¶
¶ sexual revolution ¶

¶ sexual revolution ¶
¶ sexual revolution ¶

¶ yeah ¶
¶ sexual revolution ¶

¶ sexual revolution ¶

¶ everybody, shake it ¶

Christina!
Valerie!

Shake it if you got it.

Miss Courtney.

Well, hello, miss Christina.
How you doing?
What you doing?

- Dancing too much.
How you doing?
- Same thing. How was your day?

Pretty good.
I got a new account designing
a campaign for a sports line.

Well, they got the right
girl now, didn't they?

Ahh, thank you.
So, what's up?

Oh, you know, the usual.
Defending the rights
of my brokenhearted clients...

And trying to squeeze
every single penny out of their
miserable, cheating spouses.

You go get 'em, woman.
So, listen.

I think I'm just gonna order
a pizza and stay in tonight.
How does that sound?

Okay, but if we do that,
you know what's gonna
have to happen, huh?

Girl, I've been shaking my ass
all the way up this hill.

Which track?
Track three.
Oh, yeah!

Coochie!

¶ A beautiful thing ¶
¶ sexual revolution ¶

¶ a sexual revolution ¶
¶ sexual revolution ¶¶

¶¶

is your granny here?
What's going on?

It's Jane.
She loves this song.
Oh.

Hola, chica.
What's up?

¶ Cherish is the word ¶

he dumps me.
Kevin dumped me.

It was just three days before
our one-year anniversary.

Oh, baby.
You know what, maybe
he just freaked out.

He is gonna call up tomorrow
when he realizes what
a huge mistake he made.

You know, he's probably
just going through that--
no!

He says he's been wanting
this for six months. He says
he's been dying inside...

¶¶
ever since I brought over
my garment bag.

- Ouch.
- Honey.

What?
You know,
we're all guilty of it.

You made yourself
too available.
Yeah.

It's a classic mistake,
sweetheart.
Uh-uh.

Yeah.
Not according to this.

What is this?
Look.
"Commandment four."

The ten commandments."
Mm-hmm.

Thou shall be open to
love's possibilities.

Boundaries are the enemy
of love."
Sweetie.

Look it.
You know what? This book...
Is relationship propaganda.

Listen to me.

Dating is all
about boundaries.

Honey, you have to
protect yourself.

We've all had our hearts
stomped on one too
many times because...

We went and
served it to them
on a big old platter.

A good defense
is the best offense.

I am so tired
of playing games.

Honey, you can't just throw
yourself out there all exposed
and vulnerable every time.

That is how you get
smacked down.
Do you understand?

Don't go looking for Mr. Right.
Look for Mr. Right now.

And eventually,
if he's worthy,

then one day that "now" part
is just going to...

Drop away... naturally,
you know?

Meanwhile, you're just
gonna have fun together.

Yeah, it's not so serious,
you know. Shake it off
a little bit.

Speaking of fun,
we are gonna take you out.

What?
Oh, yes.

We are taking you out.
You are gonna have a good time.

Oh, no.
No, no, no, no. No!

- Oswaldo!
- Hello, Christina. Courtney.

Jane.
Hello, Jane.

Welcome.
Thank you.

Shut up!

¶¶

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my god!

Hey, hey. Look at shoulder,
baby. Bounce it, baby.

Check it out, baby.
Yeah!
All right.

What's your name,
baby?

We're gonna go now.

Bye-bye!

Chop, chop, chop, chop,
chopping, chopping.

Oh, my god.
It's like siegfried
and Roy or something.

Martinis, ladies.
Oh, thank you.

Compliments of the gentleman
at the bar.
Which one?

Whoa. Thank you,
leather coat guy.

Cheers.

Hmm. Leather coat guy's
looking kind of good, huh?

Yes, he is.
Shotgun!

Cheater.

What's up?

Nothing.
What's up with you?

Nothin'.
What's up with you?

Nothing.
What's up with you?

Nothin'.

You know, I am having
the best time.
Are you, sweetie?

My boyfriend just dumped me,
I'm here at this club where
no one wants to talk to me...

And I wanna go home.
No!

No, Christina,
I can't do this.

Yes, you can.
It's really very easy.

Observe.

Ow!
I just pinched his ass.

I'm sorry. Hi.
Hi. What's your name?

Jane would love
to dance.
Hey.

Uh, Jane, I don't mean
to be rude,

but I have some friends
who are waiting for me.
¶ dancing together ¶

nice to meet you, though.
¶ you and Jane
magic's in the air ¶¶

oh, he hated me. I suck.
You do not suck.
That guy was a dick.

Look, I'm gonna make sure
you have fun tonight
if it's the last thing--

I'm sorry.
What did you just call me?

Yeah.

You just called me a dick.
I heard you. Why am I a dick?

Uh, well, because you--
I don't like the way
you treated my friend.

Well, I didn't do
anything to your friend.
Well--

- hi.
- You barely gave her
the time of day.

Uh, no. You tried to pawn me
off on her and I didn't go
for it. That makes me a dick?

Pawn you off? You should be
so lucky to even talk to someone
as hot and sweet as Jane.

- Well, excuse me.
- Hey, I wasn't suggesting that
the two of you get married.

I just thought maybe
you could get it on.

What? "Get it on?"
I was trying
to do you a favor.

You know nothing about me.
What if I'm some psycho
serial killer?

And what if Jane was
the girl of your dreams?
But you'll never know.

That is the sweetest thing.

Never thought I'd meet the girl
of my dreams by having somebody
grab me in a bar and say,

"hey, you, man,
I have good woman for you.

"She is very hot and sweet.
She is there.

Jane, you dance for the man!"
Wait.

Maybe that's your problem.
Wait. What's my problem?

Maybe if you didn't play it
so safe, Mr. Safety poo,
hey.

You might actually
meet a girl that you
could have fun with.

And this brilliant love advice
comes from someone who loves
to play games with men,

always in control, that way
she never has to get too close.

Nice manners, by the way.

Where the hell did
that guy-- Jane? Jane?

Nothin'.
What's up with you?

I can't believe
you grabbed his ass.

But he comes right into my face
and he starts telling me
all this stupid stuff...

About how I like to play games
and always be in control
so I never get too close.

What?
it's just...

I've never seen you
act like this before,
that's all.

Act like what?
They're fake.

All bah-jiggity
about some guy.

- You're calling me
"bah-jiggity?"
- Yeah.

- I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to stare.
- That's cool.

- That's why I got 'em.
- I'm not bah-jiggity.

- You are so bah-jiggity.
- They look real.

Oh, thank you.
You can touch it if you want to.

- No, no, no, no.
- Touch it. She likes it.

It's fine. Go ahead.
Feels real, huh?

If I'm bah-jiggity
about this guy Peter,

it's only because
you're telling me I am.

Oh, my god.
What?

You've named the puppy.
I did not.

You just called him Peter.
I did?

Shelly, you've got to come over
and feel these things.

- I'm psychic and I just knew that his name was Peter.
- - Do you mind if I?

Knock your socks off.
Okay.

So soft.
Un-fucking-believable!

What did I tell you?
That's why chicks always
go to the bathroom together.

Chris, it's so obvious that you
like this guy. Why are you
being such a pussy about it?

Why are you making such
a big deal out of it?
If you haven't noticed,

there's plenty of guys
out there.

- Mm-hmm.
- See ya later.

What's your problem?
What's your problem?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hey, Peter.
- Huh?

- Eric, hey.
- Be right there, Christina.

You don't have to do this.
I mean, it's--

I know, but I want to.
I spilled your drink. Can I
please buy you another one?

Okay. Listen, uh,
I wanna apologize now.

I... shouldn't have been
impolite to your friend.

And if I was, I didn't mean
to be. It's just my brother
is waiting for me.

I got nervous.
I don't know.
But i-- not that--

I mean, otherwise I'd be
all over your friend.

I--
I'm the one who should
apologize. I was rude.

No, you were protecting
your friend. Anybody
would have done that.

I thought that was sweet.

Excuse me.
Pardon me.

Jesus.
So are we good now?

Yeah.
Good.

Well, I should probably
get back to my friends.

Okay.

Um, thanks for the drink.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Have a good night.
You too.

¶¶

excuse me. Can you
take this? I just totally
struck out with this guy.

One more thing. Should I be
upset my ex-girlfriend has her
tongue down that guy's throat?

Oh, my god!
Jane!

- I guess I blew my chance, huh?
- Yeah, that could've been you.

Yeah, if I weren't
such a dick.

A dick?
Was I really a dick?
Yeah, yeah.

Really?
You were a dick.

Wow. Maybe we should start over
again. Why don't I walk by,
you grab me like you did before.

I didn't grab you.
You totally grabbed me.

I did not.
I pinched you.
You grabbed me on the ass.

You grabbed-- okay.
I don't grab.

Pete! Pete!
Dude!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Dude, where you been?
Everybody's waiting.

After-hours party
back at the hotel.
These two pigs are good to go.

Did I mention that we have
the Freddie Mercury suite?

- Hey!
- She puked on him!

Again!
God, she's like a hose.
Go help her, please.

Or not. All right, she's out.
So, we're one short.
Who's this chick?

No. No, no, no, no.
Oh, she is hot.
Bring her.

- What?
- Fuck me, don't say no.

You have so much--
ow! You've gotta say yes.
Let me tell you why.

You're never gonna find
anyone better than my brother.
He is the greatest.

Okay. Okay.
And I am sure--
that hurts me.

Now, just-- just look at him.
Chicks freak on this guy.

He is-- come on now.
He is the shit.

- And that's why he's
in my wedding on Saturday.
- Rog. Rog, no.

Yes. Just trying
to help out.
No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah--
bye.

Whoa!
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Hey, listen, ladies.
Big party, four seasons,
room 402. You're invited.

Let's go, baby.
Come on. You're out.
I'm leaving.

I'm leaving.
Are you following me?
That's my brother.

- Oh, he's special.
- Careful. That's puke.
It's puke. Don't touch me.

Wow. So, when's
the wedding?

Uh, Saturday afternoon
up in somerset.

- That's where we live.
- That's nice.

Peter, it's looking like now.
Okay, okay.

You're pinching
my arm skin.

Okay, I'd better go.

For real this time.
Well, it was nice
to meet you.

- It was very nice to meet you.
I had a great time.
- Yeah? Me too.

- You should definitely come
by the party if you want to.
- Really?

I really hope I see you.
But in case I don't see you,
have a nice life.

You too.

¶¶

Hey, Chris, it's court.
So I'm at the party
with leather coat guy.

And I was just checking in
to see if you were listening
to your messages.

'Cause if you are listening
to your messages,

you are a loser.
A los--

thanks, court.

I'm a big loser.

¶ What's up, you bitches
and hos and losers ¶

¶ losers are-- ¶¶

Too late now.

Funny.

Really funny.

Cute boy.

Oh, my god.
You're so good at that.

If you don't mind, I'd like
to do that every hour on the
hour for the rest of our lives.

Of course.
Go right ahead.
Thank you.

Don't worry about returning
the favor. Men don't
really like oral sex.

Yeah, right.
I'm serious!

It's just a bad rumor
that was started sometime
in the '50s.

I had no idea.
I need to tell
all my friends.

Please, do.
Someone needs to put
an end to this madness.

Oh, god. I'm so glad
I came back to the hotel room.

God.
Me too.

I never thought
I'd see you again.

Room service.

Oh, right on time.

Ice cream!
Only the best for our v.I.P.S.

I had them remove
all the calories for you.

Oh, you are good.

All right!

I know I said I wanted to do it
to you every hour on the hour,
but I really can't wait.

Can I do it again now?

Okay.

Wow.

San Francisco, California,
please, for, um,
four seasons hotel. Thanks.

Thank you.

Great dream.

Yes, hi.

Um, do you have
a Freddie Mercury suite?

Oh, good.
Can I have it?
Thanks.

Really? Already?

Okay, have a great day.
Thanks. Bye.

Well, what am I
even calling for?

Hello?

Hey, court.
Yeah.

¶¶

Hey. Hey. Stop talking
shit about me, all right?

Well, where you been?
Sorry I'm late, you guys. I
don't even wanna talk about it.

You ready?
I'm starving.
Okay.

You know what? I'm just
gonna meet you guys in there.

- I have to drop something
off at the dry cleaners.
- Can it wait? Please?

- I'm so hungry right now.
- Isn't that Courtney's dress
that you borrowed last night?

- Yeah.
- Why are you bringing it in?

No. I'm just trying
to be a good girlfriend--

I'm really sorry.

You slut.
Guilty.
Is that what I think it is?

I will take it
to the dry cleaners
and it will be gone.

That's a lot.
He was holdin' a lot.

I'm scared enough
to go in there.
What am I gonna say?

Mr. Martin, can you help me
with my jizz?

You know what?

You guys... suck.

No, obviously, you suck.
You.

You suck.
Really, wow. I'm proud.

No spanky wanky.

No spanky wanky.

Hi, Jane.
Hi, Mr. Martin.

- How's your mother?
- Great. Oh, god, she's good.
Everyone's good. Thank you.

- Your grandmother?
- Everyone's great.

That's fine. That's fine.
What you got for me today?

Oh, just a dress,
but I'll be back for it
in a few days. So no hurry.

- Any stains?
- No.

This is gonna be
a tough one.

Oh, wow, I didn't even
notice that. I must've spilled
some soda on me last night.

No, no, this is not soda.
Think, Jane. Think!

If I know what it is,
it's easier for me to remove.

- Huh?
- - Come on.

Ah, the field trip.
Come in, children.
Come in.

Come in.
Yes, yes, come in.
Fuck!

Good afternoon,
Mrs. Franklin.
Hi, Mr. Martin.

Okay, now on today's
field trip,

we are going to learn
about cleanliness.

Jane?

Hey.
Jane burns!

Oh, sweetheart,
I haven't seen you
since I taught you...

In third grade!

-Top of the morning, Mr. Martin.
-Hello, father Flynn.

As I live and breathe,
isn't it?

It is little Mary Jane burns!

What a coincidence.
I'm having supper with
your parents tonight.

What a stain
you got there,
little Janie.

So, how was it?
Was it fun?

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
I can't believe I didn't
tell you this.

Apparently, one of the guys
who was at the party,
like, flipped out.

Was out on the balcony
and he was screaming
at the top of his lungs,

"Christina! Has anyone seen
my little Christina?"

And then he jumps off
the balcony and he dies
because you're a pussy.

Why didn't you go?
I don't know.

Then I don't know. I called him
at the hotel this morning.
Wait. Hold on.

Rewind for one second.
You called him at the hotel?

- Well, what did he say?
- Nothing. He said nothing.

Okay? Nothing.

Why?
He checked out already.

Okay, let's just sum this up
real quickly.

In the bathroom
we hate him,

yet we call him by name.

Then we throw beer on him.

Then we laugh and we flirt
and we danced with him.
It wasn't beer.

Then we casually call him
at the hotel.

Then we obsess
about the casual call.
Obsess?

I'm not obsessing.
I'm not obsessing.
I'm just wondering,

could all this erratic
behavior possibly be...

That you might really
like him?
No.

You regret not going to this
party because you will never
know what might have happened?

No, okay?
I don't regret it.

If I had any regrets,
it would be this conversation
now, having it with you.

- Can we just drop it?
- Okay, I'm sorry
I brought it up.

I won't mention it again.

- You know, even if I did regret
not going to the party,

it's not like I can do
anything about it now.

So, I mean, sometimes
you just have to...
Let these things go, right?

Exactly.
Although,

Like you could show up
at his brother's wedding,
'cause it is his brother.

Come on!

How much time we got?
We've got like three hours
before the rehearsal.

Hit the ball.

Oh, good shot.

Fore!
I'm gonna shove that club up your ass, you dick licker!

What, are you up
by like two now?

I guess.
Well, listen. It doesn't
get any better than this.

To the marriage.
To the marriage.

To-to-to the bride.
To the bride.

- Yeah.
- To 50 years
with the same woman.

That's really depressing.

Sorry.

Saggy tits.

Be able to use them
as a belt by then.

Or just tuck 'em
in her socks, you know.
Okay.

God, this marriage is-is
such a big leap, you know.

- It's really intense, Pete.
- But if it's the right woman--

yeah, I guess.

Get up a little.
Yes. Fore!

You motherfuckers!
Stop bothering me!

You're driving
right into 'em.

Hey, what about John?
I hear he's still awol
from that bachelor party.

He showed up last night.
He's missing an eyebrow...

And he's got a tattoo
on his ass that says "bitch."

Fore!
I am not an animal!

Very good. Oh, hey,
speaking of bitches.

What was going on with you
that night at the club
with that hottie?

- Nothin'.
- I mean, Jesus!

I don't know
what you're talkin' about.

Yeah, you did.
Don't lie to me.
Hey, hey, hey.

Don't lie--
don't lie to darth, Luke.

I can see it in your eyes
you liked her.

Nothin' I can
do about it now.

Should have poked her
in the whiskers
when you had the chance.

What's that, gramps?

I met this hot young dish...

At the world's fair
back in 1940.

Every moment with her
was like a slice of heaven.

I bet you really
miss grandma, huh?

Ah, fuck grandma.

- Huh?
- It's Pearl I'm talkin' about.

She was the love
of my life.

Don't ever let these moments
pass you by.

Fuckin' grandma!

Would you be nice?

Come on, seven-six.

Fore!

¶ The lights are off again ¶

¶ she took me by surprise ¶

¶ she's so sensitive ¶

¶ it just should happen
sometimes ¶¶

you suck!

Damn it.
But you smell
so minty fresh now.

What do you want?
I need to borrow
your black Gucci bag.

God--
here.

It's in the living room.
Okay, well, I don't know
where in the living room.

And I don't feel like
looking for it, so let's go.
No.

Will you help me find it,
please? Come on, please?

Well, since I'm up now
and you decided to torture me,
I'll go and get it!

Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, my god. Excuse me.

Um, could you guys tell me
where the bathroom is?
It's behind you.

Over here? Oops.

Uh--

well, thanks.

Oh, my cock.
Cock.

Oh, my cock.
Oh, my cock.
Oh, my cock.

Do you guys have
any advil?

Oh!

Janie.
He is so cute.

So stupid.

Oh, babe.
Can I get that purse
now, please?

Yes, you can get the purse.
Okay.
No, now.

Here's the purse.

Ah, thank you
very much.

- Where are you going?
- You and I are going
to a wedding.

What wedding?
Who's getting married?

We are going to Peter's
brother's wedding.

Peter?
Now listen.

This somerset place
where they live is
some small town...

- P-Peter--
- what?

Peter? I'm not going
to Peter's brother's wedding.

What are you talking about?
Yesterday you said
you wanted to go.

So I went and, you know--
Courtney.

- I was joking.
- Oh, no, you weren't.

Uh, yes, I was.

Fifty percent of what people say
when they're joking is true.

Which means that you do
wanna go to this wedding, but
you're too afraid to admit it.

So by making some sort of joke
about it, you get to say
what you really want...

Without being vulnerable.

Right?
Maybe.

Okay, good.
The wedding starts at 5:00.
I refuse to be late.

I want you to put some
clothes on now. Thank you.

That was a nice one.
Thanks.

¶ Trying all this new stuff
trying to be fly ¶

¶ there she goes again
slipping and sliding ¶¶

that's it.
Once we get off the 140,

- uh-huh.
- We'll take the 95,
get off on the somerset exit.

All right. Then we'll just
drive around and we can find
the church no problem. Ta-da!

Ew! What is that?

- What is what?
- You don't smell that?

- Smell what?
I don't smell anything.
- Oh, Jesus!

- You're used to it.
That's what's really scary.
- I don't smell anything.

It smells like moldy ass
is what it smells like in here.

Wait a minute.
Come to think of it, I did
leave some ass in the back.

- You did.
- About a week ago, I did.
It must be the ass. No, no.

- Sit down, please.
- Jesus!

- I'm sorry.
- You're gonna kill--

ow!

- What are you doing?
- Jesus, Courtney.

- What is all this--
- no, no, no, stop.
Come on, please. Look, look.

Just-- just don't be throwing
out anything I might need, okay?

Where is it coming from,
Courtney? Where?
I can still smell it.

Maybe it's you.

Did something crawl up
your poonani?
Hey.

Yeah, well, you know what?
Neither have I, okay?

High five
on the clean poonani.
Bitch.

- Oh. Ew.
- What?

- Ew, ew, ew. What is this?
- What is what?

- What is this?
- Oh! Jesus! I don't even know
how long it's been in here.

What is in here?

No!

That is not okay!
It isn't okay!

You are a disgusting,
nasty pig. Do you understand?
There was maggots on that--

Excuse me. I've got
maggot juice all over me.
There it is.

Oh, please.

Ladies room.

Someone's in here.
Sorry.

It might be a while.
How long?

Let me put it to you this way.
I had lamb curry last night,
and I'm shittin' out a buick.

Ew.

Was it absolutely vital
for her to tell us that?

Oh, god!
This is disgusting.

I feel like I have maggots
all over me.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Don't move. Don't move.

Oh, stop it!

I'm gonna pee in my pants.

"There once was a man from
bandoo who fell asleep
in a canoe.

"He dreamed of Venus
and played with his penis...

And woke up
with a handful of... goo."

Wait! Don't make me laugh.
Dude, I gotta aim.

Oh, god darn it.
I think I peed on myself.

Hmm. "Follow
the yellow brick road?"

God!

I'm following
the yellow brick road.

Follow the yellow brick road.

Buffy! You look like
my old doggy Buffy.

- Hello, girl.
I haven't seen you in--
- oh, my god! It's on my hands!

There's a good girl.
What you got, little girl?
Come on.

What you got?
What's in your mouth?

- Damn it!
- What you got in there?

- What's in there?
What's in your mouth?
- Crap!

- What's in there?
- - Surprise!

Oh, Christina!

Goddamn it.
How could you not know
what a glory hole is?

Well, unlike my whore friend
Courtney rockliffe,

I don't usually
spend much time in men's
public bathrooms, okay?

Goddamn, that is the funniest
thing I have ever seen
in my entire life.

I mean, I flew
across that room.

And you got fucked
in the eye.

I'm glad you find it so
fucking amusing, okay?
I really do.

Could you please have
some compassion?
I do. I do.

Because I could
go blind, okay?
No, you could not.

Yes, I could. Ow.
All right, let me look
at it, okay?

I mean, a penis in my eye.
Wait, wait, wait.

Let me see.
Let me see. Shh.

Okay. All right.

How is it? Is it okay?
Yeah, it's okay.

But I think you're pregnant.

Would you please
stop it already?
All right.

Now I want you
to redress the mannequins
and check the sock inventory.

Come on, Jane. It's Saturday
and nobody's here.
And Mr. Mooney--

Mr. Mooney is off sailing
with his boy toy which leaves me
in charge of the store, so shoo.

Somebody needs
to get some.

¶ La, la-la, la-la
la-la ¶¶

ooh, there's my dirty girl.

Aah! No! No! No!

It's me, baby!
It's me! It's me!

Why are you dressed
like that?

It's my job.
I work at
a children's hospital.

Oh, hi.
Hi.

You look so cute.

I'm horny.
Me too.

-You're gonna laugh at this one.
-What?

You know how I said I had
to do, uh, laundry today?

It's 'cause I ran out of clean
underwear, honey. I've only got
the skanky ones left.

Tell me about it, dude.
¶¶

oh, my god.
You are so unbelievable.

No way.
Is that what I think it is?

Spring break, 1994, baby.

Turn it up.
Oh, my god.

¶¶
¶ like a worn-out recording ¶

¶ of a favorite song ¶

¶ so while she lay there
sleeping ¶

¶ I read the paper in bed ¶

¶ and in
the personal columns ¶

¶ there was this letter
I read ¶

¶ if you like pina coladas ¶

¶ and getting caught
in the rain ¶

¶ if you're not into yoga ¶

- oh, my god. Brain.
- Jane!

You and I are
so awesome together.

We're like two peas
in a pod.

We're like oil and vinegar.
Shut up.

Okay.
I can't believe
I'm fucking a purple elephant.

What do you mean,
she's not here?
We have customers, missy.

I'm sorry, Mr. Mooney.
I'll go check upstairs.

God, I'm gone for one day,
the place turns into Indonesia.

- Oh, Jane. Oh, Jane.
- Jane?

Janie wanie. Janie wanie!
Jane?

Oh, my god. Are you okay?

- Yes, I'm fine.
- What is going on?

Nothing. I'm just
a little frantic.

I have a million things
to do today. And I'm dizzy.
I'm so dizzy.

Well, Mr. Mooney is downstairs
and he is p-i-s-e-d.

"Pised?"

- Where have you been?
- I was upstairs
taking inventory.

Yeah, my aunt Fanny.

- Ew.

- Gallini's.
- Hello. Is Jane there?

Yes, she is.
Have a lovely day.

Hello?

Janie! Janie!

Sorry, guys. I can't talk
right now. I'm really busy.

We were just wondering--

¶ do you like pina coladas
and getting caught
in the rain ¶¶

- - shit.

¶¶

Oh, shit. Shit.
What?

I dropped the-the thingy
to my lip gloss.

Could you get it
for me, sweetie?
I'll get it.

It's too far over.
It's too far over.
I'll get it.

Hold onto it.
Keep steering.
I'll keep going.

- Yeah, it's right, I believe--
- hmm?

Hoo!

Oh, yeah.

- Yeah, baby!
- Oh, yes.

Yes!

- Oh, yeah, right there.
- No, that's not it.

Oh, you like that,
dirty girl?

Whoo! Yes!
Let me have some of that!

- Oh, yes, don't stop.
- I'm not gonna stop.

Yes!

Shit.

Okay, I found it.
Jesus, I almost got
smothered down there.

Shit.
Are you okay?

Huh?
You good?

Yeah, no, I'm good.
I'm good. Never better.
Never better.

Let's get on the same page
about what we're gonna say
once we get to the wedding.

Walk up to him and be like,
"Peter, is that you?

"Oh, my god.
My friend Courtney,
that hot babe over there,

she and I went to college
with the bride."
It's unbelievable.

Do you believe that?
No, I can believe that.

It's unbelievable.
Freaky!

¶ But love is in the air ¶

¶ nothing could compare ¶

¶ what a waste to go
and wave good-bye ¶

¶ love is in the air ¶

¶ what a perfect day
to fly ¶

¶ nothing could compare ¶

¶ what a waste to go
and wave good-bye ¶¶

afternoon.
Okay, go.

Wow, wow, wow, wow.
Wow!
Oh, wow.

Miss Vera's has plenty
to offer us, doesn't she?
Yes, plenty of crap.

It's fabulous.
We don't have time for this.

Okay, let's go.
All right.
Let's go.

Welcome to my store.
Can I help you?

No, we were just browsing.
We're okay. Thanks.

Thank you so much.
Thank you.

Bye.
You don't like
my store, do you?

No, no, that's not it
at all.
Oh, no, no.

- It's really a lovely store.
We're looking for something--
- a little bit more specific.

The next dress store
is 20 miles from here.

Twenty miles away?
Oh, shit.

- We're gonna miss
the wedding. Perfect.
- Judy webb's wedding?

I know all about it.
I dressed half the guests.

You know, when I was 22,
my "breastuses" were, like,

right about there,
nice and perky.

Gravity has taken them
to there.

It's, like, 22... 28.

Twenty-two. Twenty-eight.

- Twenty-two... twenty-eight.
- Buy some new ones.

Okay, wait, but wait.
This is-- j-- wait.
No, no, no, no. Look it.

What is this?
What is it? What is that?
No, no, no. But what is that?

That, again, is... gravity.
Hello. Hi. How are you?

Knock, knock.
Are you decent?
Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Thank you.
You're going to love this.
It's our latest line.

Oh, wow.
If you need other sizes,
just holler.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you, Vera.

Wow. Excellent.
Thank you.

Oh, my, my, my, my.
Jesus.

Look.
That's nice.

Wait a minute.

Do we have time
for a movie montage?
Well, you know--

¶ shake it, shake it ¶

¶ shake your groove thing
shake your groove thing
yeah, yeah ¶

¶ show 'em
how we do it, now ¶

¶ shake your groove thing
shake your groove thing
yeah, yeah ¶

¶ show 'em how we do it, now
show 'em how we do it, now ¶

¶ let's show the world
we can dance ¶

¶ bad enough
to strut my stuff ¶

¶ the music gives us a chance ¶

¶ we do more
out on the floor ¶

¶ groovin' loose
or heart to heart ¶

¶ we put in motion
every single part ¶

¶ funky sounds wall to wall ¶

¶ we're bumpin' booties
havin' us a ball, y'all ¶

¶ shake your groove thing
shake your groove thing
yeah, yeah ¶

¶ show 'em how we do it, now ¶¶

- there you go.
- Ohh.

- Thank you so much.
- Bye.
- You both look sensational.

Thanks to your styling,
Vera. Thank you.
Thank you too.

Would you like to be
on our mailing list?
Sure.

Sure. Right here?
Sure.

- There. Just send it there.
- Oh, that's sweet.

Mm. It sure is.
Thank you. Bye.

We've gotta go. You okay?
Oh, shit! Oh, my god.
I can't walk in this thing.

It's painful, like bondage.
Little steps, little steps.

We don't
have a lot of time.

Oh, my god!
Oh!

Oh, my god! These...

Are the days of our lives.
Are the days of our lives.

This is not discreet,
okay?
No, it isn't.

We are not gonna be able
to walk into a wedding--
come on. It's very la toya.

I mean, really,
look at all this--

I may as well
strap a sign on my ass
that says "stalker."

Okay?
I am not going there
wearing this outfit.

So can we please just go?
Yes. Let's go.
Let's go home.

Really?
Yeah. I mean, we've driven
for three and a half hours...

And everything,
but, no, let's go.

Please. Please.
I'm serious.
Let's go. Really. Let's go.

- Don't "reverse psychology" me
right now, okay?
- I'm not.

Court, this is crazy, okay?
This is really crazy.
I know, I know, I know.

What the hell were we thinking?
I just wish there was
some sort of sign from god...

That you and this Peter donahue
guy are supposed to be together.

Donahue? How do you know
his last name is donahue?

Because you're sitting
on his face.

- Oh, my god, it's him!
He's so cute.
- Yeah. I know. I know.

Cute? He's adorable!
I know.

"Everything he touches
turns to sold."

¶¶

church bells?

No, no, no,
no, no, no.

All right.
What do you think--
bride or groom's side?

I have to go
to the bathroom, I think.
Did you misplace your bladder?

Hi. Could you tell me
where the restroom is?
It's right outside.

Outside. Okay. God!

Oh, god.

Hello? Hell-oo?

I gotta pee, pee,
pee, pee. Ohh! Oh, god!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I can't breathe.
Really? Okay. Just breathe.

Stay calm. You're gonna
be okay. Are you okay?

Okay, uh, you're gonna be fine.
You're gonna be okay.
Water.

Okay.

- Thank you.
- There you go. I'm just gonna
leave you alone for a second.

Okay?

Judy?
in a minute, dad!

Okay, okay.

I don't wanna go
in the deep end. I don't
wanna go in the deep end!

Uh--

flowers! Here.

I look like a magazine bride.
No, you don't.

You look really beautiful.
You're the perfect bride.

Why don't I feel good?

Well, I'm sure that
you're just really nervous.
It's a big day, right?

It's what every girl
dreams of, but how
do you know it's real?

I don't know.
I can't answer that
for you, really,

but I'm sure the two of you
are gonna be really happy
together.

And if you're not,
you know, you can always
just get divorced.

Yeah!
Yeah! See?
It'll be okay.

Right. You're so right.
So just get yourself together.
You look smashing.

I look beautiful.
You look amazing.

I look beautiful.
I look beautiful.
You do. Amazing.

Thank you.
Now get off my dress.
Oh, god. I'm sorry.

- I'm getting married!
- Yea!

- Hi.

¶¶

¶¶

I bet you miss grandma.
Grandma?

Where is she?

¶¶

It's Jesus. Look!
It's Jesus.

Beetlejuice, beetlejuice,
beetlejuice.

Okay, boys, we're on.

Okay. All right?
Okay. Yep.

Straight?
Yep. Big moment.

You look nice too.
Don't stress. Don't stress.

A little slap.
Slap me. Okay.
Yeah? Huh?

Don't be gay in god's house.
Give me a hit. Thank you.
All right.

Okay.
Let's go. Let's do it.

¶¶
sh-shit.

¶¶

Oh, my god!
Are you okay?
I'm okay. I'm okay.

What are you doing?
I got locked in.

Are you all right?
Yeah. Fuck.

Ow.
You okay?

Yeah, I'm good. I was stuck.
We don't have to lie anymore.

Why?
'Cause I made friends
with the bride.

Cool.

What? What? No, no, no.
You cannot lock the door.

Don't knock
down the door.
Hello, hello, hello?

I'm trying.

Oh, please, god.

Ah, suki, suki!
Ah, suki, suki.

¶¶

shh! It's already started.
All right.

I bet you miss grandma.

- Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...
- Hi.

To celebrate
the holy matrimony...

Of Judith Katherine webb
and Peter donahue.

Peter? Oof!

- Oh, Jesus Christ!

- It's Peter! Shit!
- I didn't do it.
I didn't do it.

She did it.

This-- this isn't
the glickman bar mitzvah?

- Is it? No?
- Moishe, are you here?

No? Good. Okay. Mazeltov.
Come on, Sharon.
Let's go. Mazeltov.

- Christina?
- The hottie.

Shalom!

¶ Hey, hey, hey, hey
hey, hey, hey, hey ¶

that's the strangest thing I've
ever seen. There are no Jews
in somerset.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

Shall we proceed?
Oh, sure.

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today...

Of Judith Katherine webb
and Peter donahue.

Which is an honorable estate,
instituted of god,

signifying unto us
the mystical union that
is between Christ...

And--

- Peter? Peter?
- Saint--

Peter?

Yeah?
I'm having reservations.

- ...and is commended--
- about this.
- Really?

Shh, shh-shh-shh.

- ...st. Paul to be honorable...
- Me too.
- Really?

- Among all m-m-m--
- yeah.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.
...All men, and therefore
is not by any--

I mean, I love you,
but I'm not in love with you.
But I'm not in love with you.

- ...lightly.
- Anymore.

- Oh, no.
- You're ruining it.

- But--
- we're still friends.
- Hey, hey!

I don't wanna get married.
I don't wanna get married!

No-- no kiss.
I haven't married you yet.

We're not getting married!

Miguel?

- Ahh.
- Dad.

But we are
having the party.

Exit in the back.
It's to the left.

¶ Close your eyes
why don't you
give me your hand ¶

¶ do you feel my heart beating ¶
hi. How you doin'?
I'm okay.

You okay?
Yeah-- no, I'm okay.

You owe me 30,000
for this wedding.
Daddy, please.

So you know
what I'm thinking of doing?
What's that?

I think I'm gonna
cash in the honeymoon tickets,
fly to Bali and go scuba diving.

- I'm gonna rip your face off,
pecker-head!
- Daddy, stop.

Sweetie?
Yes?

- I have a confession to make.
- You're a fuckin' dead man!

Dad.

I met someone.
You met someone?

¶¶

- his name is Ricky.
I think he's really special.
- Fuck it! It's go time!

Court?
Mm-hmm?

Refresh my memory.
Was that Peter's wedding
we walked in on?

Yeah.

That's what I thought.
Yep.

I'm such an idiot.
No, you're not.

I meet a guy for two minutes,

and I'm chasing after him
like he's something special.

Well, maybe
you want someone special...

For once, you know?

Maybe you were thinkin'
that you were tired...

Of the game.

You tired of the game?

Yep.

Let's go home.

Okay.

I can't
believe this.

Please respond to 1151 kearney.

- Oh, my god.
- What's going on?
- Excuse me. Officer?

- What's going on here?
- Twenty years, and I've never
seen something so horrible.

What? Where?
What is the emergency?

- Apartment three.
- But that's my apartment.

Jane.
Jane. Jane!

Poor girl
never saw it coming.

Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me.

Christ!
I wouldn't go in there.
It's not a pretty sight.

- I live here. Jane!
- Excuse me.

Jane?
Janie?

Janie? Oh, Jesus!
Oh, my god!

Christina?
Apparently they're stuck.

- What do you mean?
- Janie, are you okay?

How are you stuck?

- I have a piercing.

- Ooh.
- I don't get it.
How is she stuck?

Behind her tonsils.
How the hell
do you know that?

- Listen, honey, I'm gonna
just pull you really gently.
- Ohh, no.

- Shh. I'm gonna pull,
okay? Gently.
- Be careful.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

We've got the ambulance
outside and the O.R. prepped for
surgery. We have to get going.

- No, no, no. Wait, wait.
- What?
- She could sing.

You could sing.
It relaxes the throat. Try.
Right, right.

Try, try--
¶ relax, don't do it
when you wanna get to it ¶

¶ relax, don't do it
when you wanna come ¶

- stop it.
You're gettin' me hard again.

- It's--
it's the wrong song. Okay.
- What? What?

¶ Stay awake ¶

¶ just to hear
you breathin' ¶

¶ watch you smile
while you are sleepin' ¶

¶ I could spend my life ¶

¶ in this sweet surrender ¶

- come on, sweetie. Try.

¶ As every moment
spent with you ¶

¶ is a moment I treasure ¶

¶ I don't wanna close my eyes ¶

¶ I don't wanna fall asleep ¶

- ¶ 'cause I'd miss you, baby ¶
- ¶ and I don't wanna
miss a thing ¶

¶ 'cause even
when I dream of you ¶

¶ the sweetest dream
will never do ¶

¶ I'd still miss you, baby
and I don't wanna
miss a thing ¶

¶ I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep ¶

¶ 'cause I'll miss you, baby
and I don't wanna
miss a thing ¶

¶ even when I dream of you ¶
yes! Oh, Janie! Yes!

¶ The sweetest thing
will never do ¶

¶ I still miss you, baby
and I don't wanna
miss a thing ¶¶

¶ how do I live
without you ¶

¶ I want to know ¶¶
what?

It was milli.
It was vanilli.

Oh, whatever.
No. Not "whatever."

So she says to him,
"girl, you know it's true"
changed my life.

It did, okay? I'm sorry.
A tear-- just a sad
little tear slowly--

oh, come on.
What do you want from me?
I was 16 years old.

Okay? I don't even
know why I started talking
to her in the second grade.

- I swear, I don't.
- Because you thought
I was the shit.

- You are the shit.
- Shithead.

- Oh, my god.
- What?

They found a donor
for my patient. Okay.
I gotta go. Sorry, guys.

- You know what, Christina?
It was great meeting you.
- It was nice to meet you, Greg.

- Jane, it was great meeting you.
- Great meeting you.

-So sorry I have to run off.
I'll make you Risotto tomorrow.
-It's fine.

- It's good.
- Okay.
- Bye.

- Okay, can I just say,
that was so sweet?
- He's great.

- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
- He's so sweet.
- He doesn't have piercings?

No.

Um, I don't know, actually,
because, um,

I haven't done that
with him yet, so, you know--

oh, you really do like him.
I don't wanna talk about it,
'cause I'm gonna jinx it, so--

ohh.

¶ And it's
a strange condition ¶

¶ a day in prison ¶

¶ it's got me
out of my head ¶

¶ and I don't know what
I came here for ¶

¶ oh, I want you to know ¶

¶ It's a strange condition ¶

hey.
¶ it's got me out of my head
and I don't know ¶¶

I closed
on the mahalock house today.
Great news for you.

You don't need to do a thing.
What did they say
about my aluminum siding?

No.

Really?
Really. Be careful
with those fat-free chips.

They cause anal leakage.
You cause anal leakage.

It says so on the bag.

What-- what kind of
marketing brainiac puts
"anal leakage" on his product?

How can they even
sell that crap?

What time's your flight?
9:30.

I can't believe you're
going to Costa Rica.

- You know, your female problems
are completely over with.
- Hope so.

- For five pesos--
- no, no. Rog, rog.

- They take your Chimichanga
and your poquito--
- no, no, seсor. Seсor--

listen to me.
No. No quiero.

All I'm sayin' is make nice
with the concierge, okay?

Thank you so much.
Where do you want it?

Just put her down
right here, boys.
Okeydokey.

Peter, since you're
going away-- do you wanna
be on our mailing list?

Yes, I would, ma'am.
I'd love to.
Thank you.

Pete, I've been trying
to get us off that mailing list
since 1982.

They caught her
trying to escape.

That is so weird.
I know. Very strange.

I know.

Hey. Hey.

Sweetie? Christina,
what's going on?
What happened?

You didn't want
to eat the cookies?
No, no, no, no.

Just read this.
All right.

Thou shalt love
what's possible."

- Oh, Christina, honey,
we've gone over this.
- Not that one.

You did not know
the guy was gonna be
getting married, all right?

It's all right. It just
wasn't possible, sweetie.
Not that one.

- Yes. "Thou shalt not fear."
- What are you talking about,
"fear"?

What you did
was an incredibly brave thing.

You completely
dropped all of your boundaries,
and you met this guy halfway.

- You met him more than halfway.
You went to somerset.
- You guys, it was another game.

Come on. If he hadn't
been getting married, what
do you think I would've done?

Huh? That's right.
Court, you know.

I would've
done the same old thing.
I would've hesitated.

I would've froze up.

I would've kissed him
and then ran off.

Give him
the wrong phone number.

Hook that fish
and just throw him
right back.

Jesus.

- I'm stuck in a rut.
- Oh, sweetie.

A big, fat rut.

You guys, I don't
wanna be that girl anymore.

I know.
You know?

I know.
None of us do.

Let's go dancing.

¶ You know, it's time ¶

so, any chance?
Of what? No-ho.
Don't even bother.

She's on a mission.
¶ you know, it's time ¶

¶ to give up
on your mind ¶

- ¶¶
- how's it shakin', ladies?

No, thank you.
Your body is banging.

Your face is too.
Neat-o. Thanks. Neat.

¶ It's time ¶
¶ just come on ¶

¶ just give in ¶
what's goin' on,
hot mama?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bringin' it down now.

Bringin' it up now.
Oh, yeah.

Whoop, whoop!
Yeah. Here it comes, baby.

Feel the monkey. Work
the monkey, monkey, monk!
The monkey, the monkey!

The monkey. Ooh-ooh, ah-ah.

The monkey, the monkey.
Yeah. You
workin' that monkey.

You're a good dancer.
Thanks.

No. You are.
You have some original moves.
I've been workin' on 'em.

Have we met before?
A couple times.

I'm Donny.

Hi.
Christina.

It feels
like sixteen candles.

I'd love
to take you out sometime.
Really?

Well, that's nice.
I mean, give me your card.
I'll call you sometime.

Thank you. You seem
like a really nice person.

Yeah, work that monkey.
I'll work on the monkey.

¶ When you feel it
in your body
you've found somebody ¶

¶ who makes you
change your ways like
hangin' with you, cool ¶

¶ so you act like you ready
but you don't really know ¶

¶ and everything in your past
you wanna let it go ¶

¶ I been there, done it ¶

¶ after all that
this is what I found ¶

¶ nobody wants to be alone ¶

hey, Donny. Hi.
Hey.

Hey, do you have a pen?
You betcha.

¶ You got it
you got it bad ¶

I'm a jerk,
and I wanna apologize, because
I did not plan on calling you.

I am gonna
give you my number
so that you can call me...

Because I found out
something...

That was completely
life-changing-- that it's okay
to take a chance, you know?

It's okay to. Love is crazy,
and that's what love is.
It's taking a chance.

And my girlfriend Courtney
and I went on this crazy ride
and went for a guy.

I went across the state
practically to find this guy
that I don't even know.

And I don't even know you.
But here I am, I'm having
this conversation with you.

And I know that if I just
take a chance-- maybe with you--
that, I don't know--

forget it. Uh,
what's a guy gotta do
to get laid?

¶ You got it
you got it bad ¶

¶ hang your own phone up
hang up and call right back ¶

¶ oh, you got it
you got it bad ¶

¶ if you miss a date
you're afraid your
whole life's a drag ¶

¶ oh, you got it bad
when you're stuck
in the house ¶

¶ and you don't wanna have fun
the more you think about it
you got it bad ¶¶

¶¶
no problem.
Okay. Here you go.

Um, Chris?
Yeah?

Honey?

Uh--
wait. What?

Oh, my god.

What am I gonna do?
I think you can
handle this one on your own.

It's all good, girl.
Shh.

Figure this one out.
Figure it out. Okay.

Stop.

Christina.

What are you doing here?

That was all there was
to it.

We had fun.
We talked. That was it.

Right?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I didn't get married.

What do you mean?
Judy and I,
we called it off.

Well,

I hope that thing
that happened didn't
have anything to do with it.

No, no, no, no.
It had nothing to do with that.

Judy and I both realized
we were doing the wrong thing.

I mean, two people
should be in love.

She really liked you too.
She thought you were great.
Why were you at my wedding?

You know,

it was just one of those
sort of spontaneous things
my girlfriend and I do.

Look, I came here tonight
'cause I wanted to see ya.

And I thought that
maybe, uh--

well, that night
that we met, I thought
there was something,

some feeling I had
about us or--

I thought that maybe
you might feel that way too.

Is this a mutual thing,
or am I just-- this is not
a mutual thing at all.

This is a very stupid thing.
I am stupid.
I should go.
Wait, wait.

I really apologize for
wasting your time, and I'm gonna
jump off the golden gate bridge.

Thanks. See ya.
I'm stupid.
That's right.

In fact, that's it--
exactly what I wanted
to-- to do.

That's, uh-- yes, yes.
Gosh, it's going so well.

Yes.

I'm not gonna be afraid.

Peter?

Shit! Peter?
Peter, wait!

Peter!

Peter?

Shit.

Hi.

Come on! Oh!

Are you okay?

Yes. Oh, my god.
Oh, my god.

Look, I don't think I really
handled that too well.
No, listen.

I didn't handle it at all.
I'm so sorry.

Look, I wanted to find you
so I could tell you that-- what
I couldn't tell you up there,

which was that I did come
to your wedding because
I wanted to see you again.

Because the feeling
is mutual, and you'd better
be a really good kisser.

It's okay.
You can try again.

Okay?

You were so much better
in my dream. It's weird.
Wh--

hold these.

I thought this was,
like, mutual.
Oh, my god.

No, I'm serious.
Listen, I'll call you, okay?

What? Wait, wait.

- Thanks for the flowers.
Really nice touch.
- I'm out of practice.

I just woke up.
Unbelievable!

Christina Walters.
Yep, I know her.

Bitch.
Made my life a living hell.

First she tries
to pawn me off on her friend.
Then she calls me a dick.

Then she
hunts me down like a dog
at my own wedding.

Then, when I try
to apologize for everything,
she's like, "I don't know you.

"You're one of hundreds.
I have no feelings for you.
Blah, blah, blah.

Wah, wah, wah.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la."

Is that how I sounded?
"Blah, blah, blah, blah"?

La, la, la,
la, la, la, la.
The movie is starting.

Let's go.

Who loves ya?
Who's your daddy?

- Fuck grandma.
- ¶ when it's over ¶

¶ that's the time
I fall in love again ¶

save yourself a buck.

- ¶ And when you go, go, go ¶
- a girl that you lick.

Really?
Yes. That you lick.
A girl that I lick?

- ¶ I know it never ends ¶

- ow, ow, ow.
- ¶ all the things
that I used to say ¶

are you all right?

- Are you guys
watching the credits now?
- ¶ have gone out the window ¶

¶ All the things
that she used to bring ¶

- ¶ all the songs
that she used to sing ¶

¶ How do I live without-- ¶
yeah. Copy that.

Is that what you want, huh?
Is that what you want?

- ¶ I know it never ends ¶
- I think there's always time
for a movie montage.

¶ It never ends ¶
¶ all the things
I used to say ¶

¶ all the words
that got in the way ¶

¶ all the things
that I used to know
have gone out the window ¶

- don't you like how sexy I am?
- - Oh!

Okay! I'm not
gonna be afraid!

I'm not!

It's a very bad rumor.
It's a rumor.
I'm serious. Crap.

Action.
ow.

You really
got my ass there.
Sorry.

No, it's good.

Cut.

I look beautiful.
You look amazing.

I look beautiful.
I look beautiful.
You do. Amazing.

¶ When it's over ¶
Jesus!

- ¶ That's the time
I fall in love again ¶
- we can sit here all night.

I bet you miss grandma.
Grandma!

¶ All the things that I used
to say, all the words
that got in the way ¶

¶ all the things
that I used to know
have gone out the window ¶

¶ all the things she
used to bring, all the songs
that she used to sing ¶

¶ all her favorite TV shows
have gone out the window ¶

¶ all the things that
I used to say, all the words
that got in the way ¶

- it's Jesus. Look.
It's Jesus.
- ¶ have gone out the window ¶

¶ all the things
that she used to bring ¶¶
so I guess...

A blow job's
out of the question?

- Oh, that is the sweetest thing.
- Bye!

Cut!

Well, that was fun.

¶ Close your eyes ¶

¶ why don't you
give me your hand ¶

¶ do you feel my heart
beatin' ¶

¶ do you understand ¶

¶ baby, do you feel the same ¶

¶ or is this burnin' ¶
¶ burnin' ¶

¶ an eternal flame ¶

¶ say my name ¶
¶ say my name ¶

¶ the sun shines
through the rain ¶

¶ I don't wanna
lose this feeling ¶

¶ ohh ¶

guitar.

How about the band?

Beautiful on the bass.

¶ Burnin' ¶

¶ close your eyes ¶

¶ and give me
your hand, baby ¶

¶ do you feel my heart
beating ¶

¶ do you understand ¶

¶ do you feel the same ¶

¶ am I only dreaming ¶

¶ or is this burning ¶