All language subtitles for Spree.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x264-RARBG
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:47,774
Hey, guys, what's up?
Kurt here from Kurt's World.
2
00:00:47,807 --> 00:00:49,676
Hey, guys, how's it going?
It's Kurt from Kurt's World.
3
00:00:49,709 --> 00:00:51,678
Hey, guys, how's it going?
Kurt from Kurt's World here.
4
00:00:51,711 --> 00:00:53,946
Hey, what's up, guys?
Kurt here from Kurt's World.
5
00:00:53,980 --> 00:00:56,314
Hi, everybody.
This is Kurt from Kurt's World.
6
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:58,851
And today I'm going to
draw my life.
7
00:00:58,885 --> 00:01:00,987
Something in these videos
that I really appreciate
8
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:04,556
is everybody's complete honesty
in telling their life story.
9
00:01:04,589 --> 00:01:07,225
And where does
this story take place?
10
00:01:07,259 --> 00:01:09,629
Los Angeles...
That's where I was born,
11
00:01:09,662 --> 00:01:12,732
although shortly after, my
parents had to move out to Azusa
12
00:01:12,765 --> 00:01:14,734
'cause it's just a little bit
more affordable
13
00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:16,468
and better for raising a family.
14
00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:21,473
Hey, Dozier.
15
00:01:21,506 --> 00:01:24,744
Mom's gone, so I'm in charge.
16
00:01:26,012 --> 00:01:27,747
I remember it
like it was yesterday,
17
00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:29,982
and we watched the planes
crash into the buildings
18
00:01:30,016 --> 00:01:31,416
millions of times.
19
00:01:31,450 --> 00:01:33,019
People jumping
out of the windows,
20
00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:34,921
running around,
the dust, the fire.
21
00:01:34,954 --> 00:01:37,255
And even though I didn't fully
understand everything back then,
22
00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:39,792
I knew that no one could ever
forget an event like that,
23
00:01:39,826 --> 00:01:41,293
real or fake.
24
00:01:43,663 --> 00:01:46,799
Hey, what's up guys?
It's Kurt from Kurt's World.
25
00:01:46,833 --> 00:01:49,367
I'm here with my dad.
We're in the studio.
26
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,270
Working on this dope
new track for Bezar.
27
00:01:52,304 --> 00:01:53,740
- Really?
- Yeah yeah.
28
00:01:53,773 --> 00:01:55,842
Well, check...
yeah check this out, though.
29
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,979
Kurt's World.
Dad, seriously put the hat on.
30
00:02:00,012 --> 00:02:02,048
Alright.
31
00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:03,816
There you go.
32
00:02:05,550 --> 00:02:07,887
After the divorce,
Mom was really upset,
33
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,990
so I decided to stay home
with her and be a good son.
34
00:02:11,023 --> 00:02:12,390
And I don't know
how it happened,
35
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,893
but one thing led to another,
36
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:16,062
and I started really
getting into online gaming.
37
00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:18,765
I'm gonna fuck you h... so...
38
00:02:18,798 --> 00:02:21,299
I'm gonna fuck you so hard.
39
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:24,070
In 2009, I officially
started Kurt's World,
40
00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:25,838
kicking off the empire
you know today.
41
00:02:25,872 --> 00:02:27,073
That's pretty cool huh?
42
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,641
This is a program
where I've made all
43
00:02:28,674 --> 00:02:30,910
of some of the most
influential beats
44
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,310
and some of my top beats.
45
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:34,412
Control-shift.
46
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,015
That's my favorite shortcut.
47
00:02:36,048 --> 00:02:37,549
Life hacks, reviews,
48
00:02:37,582 --> 00:02:38,851
and all the little things
in between
49
00:02:38,885 --> 00:02:40,953
that make life really cool
and so much fun.
50
00:02:40,987 --> 00:02:42,822
That's where
all the magic happens.
51
00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:45,057
Just kidding. Um...
52
00:02:48,593 --> 00:02:51,496
What I like about these
right off the bat is that...
53
00:02:51,530 --> 00:02:53,365
is how they seem.
54
00:02:53,398 --> 00:02:57,569
The mouthfeel
on this... otherworldly.
55
00:02:57,602 --> 00:02:59,571
And that's also
when I started babysitting.
56
00:02:59,604 --> 00:03:01,606
You know, 'cause
it's important to stay current.
57
00:03:01,641 --> 00:03:03,843
Those kids were a great source
for new content.
58
00:03:03,876 --> 00:03:06,012
And I'm still friends
with most of them today.
59
00:03:06,045 --> 00:03:08,848
Shout-out to my friend
Bobby Bud Lee @BobbyBaseCamp.
60
00:03:08,881 --> 00:03:10,016
You tell them, Bobby.
61
00:03:10,049 --> 00:03:12,417
Oh, fuck you, fuck you,
fuck you.
62
00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:13,953
God fucking damn it!
63
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,554
What's up, guys?
Here from Kurt's World.
64
00:03:15,587 --> 00:03:16,588
- What's up?
- Oh, my fucking God.
65
00:03:16,621 --> 00:03:17,790
Here with BobbyBaseCamp.
66
00:03:17,824 --> 00:03:19,424
- Fuck! I just died.
- What's up?
67
00:03:19,457 --> 00:03:21,694
Kurt, do not fucking
double-dip my stream.
68
00:03:21,727 --> 00:03:22,728
- Okay?
- Sorry.
69
00:03:22,762 --> 00:03:24,462
These values have followed me
70
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,899
all the way to my new job,
a Spree driver.
71
00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:28,567
And the cool thing about Spree
72
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,469
is that you're interacting
with people all the time.
73
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,539
It's amazing for content
and for just in general.
74
00:03:34,573 --> 00:03:38,376
Wow, that is an old
Smart & Final right there.
75
00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:42,148
But it's not always easy making
great content day after day.
76
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:45,517
Sometimes it's just you,
yourself, and your brain.
77
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,485
And that can be frustrating.
78
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,837
I haven't made a video
in a long time
79
00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:07,940
because it's... things aren't
really awesome for me right now.
80
00:04:07,974 --> 00:04:10,676
And it's been kind of hard
for me to find Kurt.
81
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:11,944
Especially in these videos,
82
00:04:11,978 --> 00:04:13,779
it's been really tough
for me to find...
83
00:04:15,815 --> 00:04:18,583
It's been really tough for me
to find Kurt, and I'm just...
84
00:04:19,719 --> 00:04:21,921
It's been really tough
for me to find Kurt...
85
00:04:22,922 --> 00:04:25,658
I don't even know why
I'm making these videos.
86
00:04:26,726 --> 00:04:28,426
Metrics.
87
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:31,764
It is a numbers game,
and right now...
88
00:04:33,199 --> 00:04:34,934
...I just feel like a zero.
89
00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:40,940
But that's usually when you come
up with your best breakthroughs.
90
00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:41,941
I know I did.
91
00:04:41,974 --> 00:04:42,942
Yo, guys, what's going on?
92
00:04:42,975 --> 00:04:44,176
It's me, Kurt from Kurt's World,
93
00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:45,878
and I just realized
something big.
94
00:04:45,912 --> 00:04:47,713
And I'm calling it "The Lesson."
95
00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:50,816
This is a surefire way for me
to go viral, and guess what.
96
00:04:50,850 --> 00:04:52,852
The best part being
I can do it all
97
00:04:52,885 --> 00:04:54,954
from the front seat of my Spree.
98
00:04:54,987 --> 00:04:56,722
So you guys stayed tuned,
buckle up,
99
00:04:56,756 --> 00:04:58,124
and I'll show you the ropes.
100
00:04:58,157 --> 00:04:59,792
Alright? Peace out.
Much love, you guys.
101
00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,093
#PeaceOut.
102
00:05:01,127 --> 00:05:03,195
Peace out.
Peace out.
103
00:05:03,229 --> 00:05:05,731
Make sure to follow...
follow me for "The Lesson."
104
00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:06,799
Peace out.
105
00:05:38,764 --> 00:05:41,267
Hey, guys, how's it going?
It's Kurt from Kurt's World.
106
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,501
And welcome to "The Lesson."
107
00:05:46,238 --> 00:05:49,607
For all of you out there
who don't know me, get ready,
108
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:51,077
'cause you're about to know me.
109
00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:52,144
I'm Kurt.
110
00:05:57,783 --> 00:06:00,518
Step one...
organizing your bottles.
111
00:06:00,552 --> 00:06:02,188
If you check out the video
that I uploaded last week
112
00:06:02,221 --> 00:06:03,889
on Kurt's World,
you're already gonna know
113
00:06:03,923 --> 00:06:05,758
how to prepare them
before your ride.
114
00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,026
You've got to remember, guys,
115
00:06:07,059 --> 00:06:08,526
what we're doing here
is important.
116
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,562
You're creating a brand.
117
00:06:10,595 --> 00:06:12,597
Actually, hold up.
118
00:06:12,631 --> 00:06:19,105
Real step one...
get... your... rig... together.
119
00:06:19,138 --> 00:06:22,041
If you're not documenting
yourself, it's simple.
120
00:06:22,074 --> 00:06:23,242
You just don't exist.
121
00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:25,144
And for my premium subscribers,
122
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:27,847
if you hop on to Kurt's World,
you can choose your own angles.
123
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,548
Plus, I'll be screen-sharing
my phone all night
124
00:06:30,582 --> 00:06:32,550
for unlimited
behind-the-scenes access.
125
00:06:32,584 --> 00:06:34,586
So don't sleep on that.
126
00:06:37,156 --> 00:06:40,026
Okay, guys, well, I guess...
I guess that's it.
127
00:06:40,059 --> 00:06:41,827
I hope you guys enjoyed
this live stream,
128
00:06:41,861 --> 00:06:44,330
and make sure to share
and comment on all your socials
129
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,165
using the hashtag #TheLesson.
130
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:49,035
- Thanks, Kurt.
- Shit, I almost forgot.
131
00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:50,269
Mom.
132
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:53,571
Hey, Mom.
133
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,835
Let's go!
134
00:07:25,638 --> 00:07:27,306
I know that we all
have our issues.
135
00:07:27,339 --> 00:07:30,042
So let me just say this.
136
00:07:30,076 --> 00:07:32,812
There's a trigger warning
in place.
137
00:07:32,845 --> 00:07:34,612
I'm not gonna be offended
if you can't watch.
138
00:07:34,647 --> 00:07:38,984
But, yeah, for all my real ones
out there,
139
00:07:39,018 --> 00:07:42,188
uh, it's time to go viral, baby.
140
00:07:47,226 --> 00:07:51,797
Okay, guys, so we're here
at the first passenger's house.
141
00:07:51,831 --> 00:07:56,335
Uh, here to pick up Frederick.
142
00:07:58,904 --> 00:08:01,073
And here he comes.
143
00:08:04,143 --> 00:08:08,647
Alright, guys, now, the record
for a rideshare driver is six.
144
00:08:08,681 --> 00:08:11,083
So you're gonna want to
at least top that number
145
00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:13,919
if you want to hit it big-time.
146
00:08:14,987 --> 00:08:16,889
- Frederick.
- That's me.
147
00:08:16,922 --> 00:08:19,091
Hey. I'm Kurt,
your Spree driver.
148
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,727
And you're going to
Grand Castle Banquet Hall.
149
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,362
- Highland Park, right?
- You got it, brother.
150
00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:24,363
Let's go.
151
00:08:31,704 --> 00:08:33,706
Uh...
152
00:08:33,739 --> 00:08:35,441
Hey?
153
00:08:35,474 --> 00:08:36,909
What's up, dude?
154
00:08:36,942 --> 00:08:38,911
What's, uh, going on here?
155
00:08:38,944 --> 00:08:40,412
What?
156
00:08:40,446 --> 00:08:42,248
Lot of fucking cameras
in here, brother.
157
00:08:42,281 --> 00:08:44,150
Oh, yeah, right.
158
00:08:44,183 --> 00:08:46,886
Hey, guys.
Hope that's okay.
159
00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:49,255
And what if I say it isn't?
160
00:08:50,723 --> 00:08:52,324
It's for my protection.
161
00:08:52,358 --> 00:08:54,894
Oh, right, got you.
162
00:08:58,164 --> 00:09:00,299
Oh, there's some water
back there if you want some.
163
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:01,934
I'm good.
164
00:09:03,135 --> 00:09:05,004
Got a charger, though?
165
00:09:05,037 --> 00:09:06,839
You bet.
166
00:09:08,741 --> 00:09:10,776
ABC.
167
00:09:10,809 --> 00:09:12,845
- Always be charging.
- Uh-huh.
168
00:09:12,878 --> 00:09:14,813
Well, I've been working
on a speech all day,
169
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,215
so this sucker's drained.
170
00:09:16,248 --> 00:09:18,050
A speech?
Big event?
171
00:09:18,083 --> 00:09:19,718
About 3,000 people.
172
00:09:19,752 --> 00:09:22,087
3,000 people?
That's a lot of eyeballs on you.
173
00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:24,490
Yeah.
Lot of people are excited, so...
174
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,859
Actually, you want
to tell my followers
175
00:09:26,892 --> 00:09:27,993
how you greet your audience?
176
00:09:28,027 --> 00:09:29,328
That would be great.
177
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,230
What do you mean your followers?
178
00:09:31,263 --> 00:09:33,933
Right, yeah, no, I'm actually
just recording a tutorial.
179
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,969
That's cool.
About what?
180
00:09:37,002 --> 00:09:39,505
Oh, I'm giving people tips
on how to, like, you know,
181
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:40,839
up their social-media game.
182
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:42,308
-
LMFAO.
- Very cool.
183
00:09:42,341 --> 00:09:44,310
- While you're driving, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
184
00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:46,078
It's good to see men like us
185
00:09:46,111 --> 00:09:48,981
trying to master this, you know,
social-media stuff.
186
00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:50,049
We're gonna need it.
187
00:09:50,082 --> 00:09:51,784
Yeah.
188
00:09:51,817 --> 00:09:53,252
What do you mean men like us?
189
00:09:53,285 --> 00:09:55,421
White men.
190
00:09:55,454 --> 00:09:57,056
You are white, aren't you?
191
00:09:58,991 --> 00:10:00,492
Yeah.
192
00:10:00,526 --> 00:10:01,994
Yeah, you are.
193
00:10:02,027 --> 00:10:04,263
It's good.
Say it with me.
194
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:06,365
I'm white and I'm proud.
195
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,034
Uh... no.
196
00:10:09,068 --> 00:10:11,804
Wait, are you Jewish?
197
00:10:11,837 --> 00:10:15,207
Whites, blacks, Asians, Latinos,
we're all the same.
198
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:16,976
Okay.
199
00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:18,811
Have you read the IQ studies?
200
00:10:18,844 --> 00:10:21,280
Do you know what's going on
in Chicago right now?
201
00:10:21,313 --> 00:10:25,084
Bobby, don't worry.
It's all good.
202
00:10:25,117 --> 00:10:26,518
Who's Bobby?
203
00:10:26,552 --> 00:10:29,989
Your gender-queer, uh, partner?
204
00:10:30,022 --> 00:10:32,091
It's actually Bobby Bud Lee.
205
00:10:34,493 --> 00:10:37,263
@BobbyBaseCamp.
You don't know Bobby Bud Lee?
206
00:10:37,296 --> 00:10:39,898
What's up, guys? I'm out here
on my influencer bullshit.
207
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:41,267
I'm on the...
I'm on the hover board.
208
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,835
Look at this place.
It's crazy.
209
00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:44,903
So you all know what happens
when I get bored.
210
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:47,506
And... secured.
You got got.
211
00:10:47,539 --> 00:10:48,907
Just regarding, like, the party
212
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,242
that went down in my pad
last night,
213
00:10:50,276 --> 00:10:52,011
that girl who got thrown
off the balcony
214
00:10:52,044 --> 00:10:54,046
and hit her ankle on the pool,
not my fault.
215
00:10:54,079 --> 00:10:56,048
That dude who threw her off
clearly wasn't strong enough.
216
00:10:56,081 --> 00:10:59,385
What's up, BaseCamp?
Today we are feeling grateful.
217
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,854
I'm in my home fucking theater
right now, BaseCamp.
218
00:11:01,887 --> 00:11:03,522
And that is all
thanks to you guys.
219
00:11:03,555 --> 00:11:04,523
Actually, can I borrow it?
220
00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:05,924
I actually really need
to use it for something.
221
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:07,526
Yeah, dude, what's up?
Fucker!
222
00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,295
He give it back to me, dude.
223
00:11:09,328 --> 00:11:11,530
Phone King!
Hey, I'm zooming out of here.
224
00:11:11,563 --> 00:11:12,666
Okay, well, he's huge,
225
00:11:12,699 --> 00:11:14,566
and he's promoting my stream
on his channel tonight.
226
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,435
But he might not do it
if there's too much racist shit
227
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,837
- on here, so...
- You mean authentic shit?
228
00:11:18,871 --> 00:11:22,574
Yo, everyone,
being racist is not cool.
229
00:11:22,608 --> 00:11:24,376
Alright?
It's toxic.
230
00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:26,078
Like Bobby, he's authentic.
231
00:11:26,111 --> 00:11:27,846
And he gets free hotel rooms
and swag,
232
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,282
so take a page out of his book.
233
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:33,385
Thanks for the tip, snowflake.
234
00:11:33,419 --> 00:11:36,855
Oh, Jesus Christ.
A lot of fucking stop signs.
235
00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:39,024
Hey, I don't see
any cops around.
236
00:11:39,058 --> 00:11:40,392
Should I blow this next one?
237
00:11:40,426 --> 00:11:41,894
You're gonna run the stop sign?
238
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:44,963
Oh, shit!
239
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:47,399
Fucking A, dude.
You're crazy.
240
00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:50,002
Just trying to spice
things up for my fans.
241
00:11:50,035 --> 00:11:53,072
Right, right. Wow.
242
00:11:53,906 --> 00:11:56,075
Remember, there's water
back there if you need it.
243
00:11:56,108 --> 00:11:58,944
Yeah, alright.
I am a little parched.
244
00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:01,413
Yeah, you know,
for your big speech.
245
00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:04,350
Yeah. You know,
you're okay for a libtard.
246
00:12:04,383 --> 00:12:06,552
Thanks.
247
00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:08,387
You just need to wake up.
248
00:12:13,292 --> 00:12:15,127
I'm really trying
to get ready for my speech.
249
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,495
Do you mind?
250
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,297
Hey, are there a lot
of members in your group?
251
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:20,232
Yeah.
How far away are we?
252
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,468
Hey, you should let them know
that you're not gonna make it.
253
00:12:25,237 --> 00:12:26,305
What?
254
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,008
Does this water have,
like, a taste to it?
255
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,510
Am I crazy?
256
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,480
What are you talking about?
It's just pure water.
257
00:12:34,513 --> 00:12:35,948
Just gonna want to make sure
258
00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:37,483
that you remove
all the air bubbles.
259
00:12:37,516 --> 00:12:39,385
Not really.
I just like to do that.
260
00:12:39,418 --> 00:12:41,620
And then we're gonna inject this
right on the label,
261
00:12:41,654 --> 00:12:44,923
because that way
the passenger will never notice.
262
00:12:49,194 --> 00:12:50,362
Simple as that.
263
00:12:50,396 --> 00:12:51,597
Take your glue gun.
264
00:12:51,631 --> 00:12:53,132
It's been heating up
for a second.
265
00:12:53,165 --> 00:12:55,234
And all you got to do,
just a little tap.
266
00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:05,144
Airtight.
267
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:06,478
Well, watertight.
268
00:13:23,996 --> 00:13:25,665
It's perfect.
269
00:13:25,698 --> 00:13:27,499
Check this out.
270
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,401
I've already got a bunch done.
271
00:13:32,337 --> 00:13:34,641
One down, lots more to go.
272
00:13:34,674 --> 00:13:39,144
Okay, next we are
picking up Andrea.
273
00:13:41,146 --> 00:13:44,516
Yeah, okay, Bobby, sure.
Yeah, that's fake news.
274
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:46,753
That's actually a pretty good
point, though, guys.
275
00:13:46,786 --> 00:13:48,320
No one should be able to tell
276
00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:50,589
what you're doing is real
at first.
277
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,325
Because you want to get
as many done undetected
278
00:13:53,358 --> 00:13:55,461
for maximum attention
down the road.
279
00:13:55,494 --> 00:13:57,463
#TheLesson.
280
00:13:57,496 --> 00:13:59,164
Legacy.
281
00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:00,667
Okay, here we go.
282
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:05,103
She should be right here.
283
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:08,474
Is Andrea with her friends?
284
00:14:08,507 --> 00:14:12,010
Oh, looks like Andrea is alone.
285
00:14:12,044 --> 00:14:13,278
I like that, though, you know.
286
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:15,280
One-on-one,
get to know the person.
287
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:17,115
Slice of life.
288
00:14:18,484 --> 00:14:21,420
Oh, you know, guys,
technically that's litter,
289
00:14:21,453 --> 00:14:24,791
but I think she'll
get away with this one.
290
00:14:24,824 --> 00:14:26,793
Tell him to fuck off.
291
00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:32,097
- It's open.
- Yeah, maybe.
292
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,532
I'll see what she says.
293
00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:35,501
Hey, Andrea.
294
00:14:35,534 --> 00:14:37,302
- Yeah.
- Oh.
295
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:39,338
No, no, no, no.
296
00:14:39,371 --> 00:14:42,107
We got some good nibbles.
We did. Mm-hmm.
297
00:14:43,141 --> 00:14:45,678
I'm going to Lincoln Heights.
298
00:14:45,712 --> 00:14:47,279
Yeah, there was this one
investment property
299
00:14:47,312 --> 00:14:49,581
you would cream your jeans over.
300
00:14:49,615 --> 00:14:52,618
Oh, I got these cameras set up.
Hope that's okay.
301
00:14:52,652 --> 00:14:56,255
No, I think the cactuses
are creating the perfect vibe.
302
00:14:56,288 --> 00:14:59,157
Yeah, it's like that cheesy
L.A. thing that we talked about.
303
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:01,560
On to the next
future yoga studio.
304
00:15:01,593 --> 00:15:05,330
No. Obviously I would never
actually say that to a client.
305
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:08,735
Michael, I'm so tired of you
second-guessing me.
306
00:15:08,768 --> 00:15:12,371
Well, I don't see you out here
fucking doing this.
307
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:18,410
Yeah. Look, I am in my Spree.
308
00:15:18,443 --> 00:15:20,813
I am going to be on the red-eye
in a few hours.
309
00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:23,382
Let's just figure this out
when we see each other.
310
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,618
Yeah, okay.
311
00:15:26,653 --> 00:15:28,153
Yeah.
312
00:15:46,605 --> 00:15:48,540
- What's up, beat master?
- I can't... I cannot ta...
313
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:51,577
- I can't talk right now. Bye.
- Wait, wait, wait.
314
00:15:54,847 --> 00:15:56,582
Stop.
315
00:15:56,615 --> 00:15:58,383
- Don't hang up on me, dick.
- I cannot talk right now.
316
00:15:58,417 --> 00:15:59,719
- I can't talk right now.
- I need a ride!
317
00:15:59,752 --> 00:16:00,853
Bye. Bye.
318
00:16:14,232 --> 00:16:16,368
Okay, guys, okay.
319
00:16:16,401 --> 00:16:17,737
Just like the last guy,
320
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:18,905
we're gonna want to
get in their phone,
321
00:16:18,938 --> 00:16:20,505
but it's not always...
322
00:16:20,539 --> 00:16:21,841
Looks like this is
a newer phone,
323
00:16:21,874 --> 00:16:23,342
so you can't always
use the thumb.
324
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:27,479
Sometimes you have to
use their face.
325
00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:32,384
Usually takes a couple tries.
326
00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,623
Yes, got it.
327
00:16:37,657 --> 00:16:39,826
First open your Spree app.
328
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:42,527
Perfect.
Rate your driver.
329
00:16:43,663 --> 00:16:45,530
Five stars, I think.
330
00:16:45,564 --> 00:16:48,266
And here it just
asks you for a tip.
331
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,737
Usually I do something
kind of in the middle.
332
00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:53,438
So I'll leave $2.
Submit.
333
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:55,908
Next to tie up loose ends.
334
00:16:55,942 --> 00:16:59,244
Michael says, "Sorry.
Can't wait to see you later."
335
00:16:59,277 --> 00:17:00,847
What shall we tell Michael?
336
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,280
Uh...
337
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,349
"Fuck off.
338
00:17:04,383 --> 00:17:07,519
Canceling my red-eye.
339
00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:14,192
No one even reposts
your stuff anymore."
340
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:15,795
Send. Perfect.
341
00:17:15,828 --> 00:17:17,362
Alright, you guys,
342
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:18,765
you're not gonna have to
worry about things like this
343
00:17:18,798 --> 00:17:20,432
when it comes
to the final stretch.
344
00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,636
But for now, it really helps
to fend off suspicion.
345
00:17:50,997 --> 00:17:52,932
Hey, man, you like this music?
346
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,568
It works.
347
00:17:58,437 --> 00:18:00,305
Slaps, man.
348
00:18:02,842 --> 00:18:04,342
I made this beat.
349
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:08,014
This is my soundtrack.
350
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:11,651
Why does rush hour start at
2:00 p.m. in this fucking city?
351
00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:13,019
You know, it just depends.
Where we are...
352
00:18:13,052 --> 00:18:16,756
Stop.
I don't want your opinion.
353
00:18:16,789 --> 00:18:18,658
- Well, you just ask... you...
- Stop.
354
00:18:18,691 --> 00:18:21,928
I'm just fucking saying.
I got to be somewhere ASAP.
355
00:18:21,961 --> 00:18:25,631
Okay, so, like, fix it
or shut the fuck up.
356
00:18:39,478 --> 00:18:42,380
Where... Where the fuck
are you going, dude?
357
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:44,583
Wait, you just...
you passed our exit.
358
00:18:44,616 --> 00:18:46,318
We're going to pick up
another passenger.
359
00:18:46,351 --> 00:18:47,787
Dude, this is already
taking forever.
360
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:48,788
Are you serious?
361
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:50,056
Well, I'm sorry.
362
00:18:50,089 --> 00:18:51,623
You requested SpreeSocial.
363
00:18:51,657 --> 00:18:55,962
I have a female waiting for me,
you incel.
364
00:18:55,995 --> 00:18:59,899
Well, there is a female
waiting for me to pick her up.
365
00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:01,701
And her name is Jessie.
366
00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:03,368
Okay?
This is SpreeSocial.
367
00:19:03,401 --> 00:19:05,370
This is what you signed up for.
368
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:06,706
You gonna drive around
369
00:19:06,739 --> 00:19:07,840
this fucking parking lot
for five minutes?
370
00:19:07,874 --> 00:19:09,041
Where is she?
371
00:19:09,075 --> 00:19:10,509
Got her.
372
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:13,846
Oh, shit. Okay.
Here we fucking go.
373
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,048
Jessie. Jessie.
374
00:19:17,016 --> 00:19:18,517
Hey, Jessie.
375
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:20,653
- Yeah?
- I'm your Spree driver, Kurt.
376
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:22,554
- Yo, what up, girl?
- No, thanks.
377
00:19:22,587 --> 00:19:23,890
What?
378
00:19:23,923 --> 00:19:25,490
Fuck.
Dude, don't be such a bitch.
379
00:19:25,524 --> 00:19:27,325
Get her in here.
380
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:28,527
Go.
She's getting away.
381
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:29,729
- Go, go, go.
- Okay.
382
00:19:29,762 --> 00:19:30,595
Careful, careful, careful.
383
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:35,868
Jessie, Jessie.
384
00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:37,569
Hey.
Hey, listen
385
00:19:37,602 --> 00:19:39,604
- I'm a five-star-rated driver.
- I already canceled.
386
00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:41,406
Listen, I can see where
you're going on the map,
387
00:19:41,439 --> 00:19:42,775
and it's just
right around the bend.
388
00:19:42,809 --> 00:19:45,577
Just get in the car.
This ride could be on me.
389
00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:47,379
But I canceled,
so is that gonna, like...
390
00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:48,815
Oh, that's okay.
I don't mind.
391
00:19:48,848 --> 00:19:50,716
I don't do this just for money.
392
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,084
Uh, okay.
393
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:53,920
Yeah.
It's okay. Get in.
394
00:19:54,854 --> 00:19:56,321
Hey.
395
00:19:59,725 --> 00:20:01,426
Knocked my camera off.
396
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,129
Hope you guys like music.
397
00:20:03,162 --> 00:20:04,831
Oh, my God.
398
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:06,999
- Oh.
- You a fan of music?
399
00:20:13,806 --> 00:20:16,042
What body part did you just hit?
400
00:20:16,075 --> 00:20:19,045
- What?
- What... What...
401
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:22,480
Dude, can you turn off
the shitty music?
402
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:26,384
Fully, fully off.
403
00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:28,020
Oh, yeah, totally.
404
00:20:28,054 --> 00:20:30,857
But you were just telling me
how much you like it, though.
405
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,992
Yeah, no, I wasn't.
Um...
406
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,894
So, Jessie, I already
told him this,
407
00:20:34,927 --> 00:20:38,130
but I got these cameras in here
set up for everyone's safety.
408
00:20:38,164 --> 00:20:39,832
Full disclosure, FYI,
409
00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:43,135
I'm totally
and completely transparent.
410
00:20:43,169 --> 00:20:46,072
Yeah, watch out for him.
He's a fucking psycho.
411
00:20:46,105 --> 00:20:47,940
But like I was saying,
my name is Mario,
412
00:20:47,974 --> 00:20:51,576
and, uh, you must be Jessie.
413
00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:53,511
He has ears.
414
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,848
And eyes.
And... And three legs.
415
00:20:55,882 --> 00:20:58,583
Wouldn't be surprised
if you had rabies, too.
416
00:20:58,617 --> 00:21:00,920
Wait, hold up, hold up.
I know you.
417
00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:02,655
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.
418
00:21:02,688 --> 00:21:05,590
Hey, "Mar-io" or "Mare-io"
or whatever your name is,
419
00:21:05,624 --> 00:21:07,693
just grab a water and chill out.
420
00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,161
Shut the fuck up.
Yo, she's a comedian.
421
00:21:09,195 --> 00:21:10,830
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
422
00:21:10,863 --> 00:21:13,933
No, you do the, uh,
"Hey, everybody look at me."
423
00:21:13,966 --> 00:21:15,735
It's, "All eyes on me."
424
00:21:15,768 --> 00:21:17,203
I fucking knew it.
425
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:20,206
Yeah, yeah, you're like,
"All eyes on me.
426
00:21:20,239 --> 00:21:23,042
All eyes on me.
I said all eyes on"...
427
00:21:23,075 --> 00:21:24,143
- I fucking knew it.
- Wait, wait, wait.
428
00:21:24,176 --> 00:21:25,811
Hold on.
You're famous?
429
00:21:25,845 --> 00:21:27,213
No, I'm not famous.
430
00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:28,848
If I was, I wouldn't be
taking SpreeSocial.
431
00:21:28,881 --> 00:21:30,515
No, dude, she's got
a mega following.
432
00:21:30,548 --> 00:21:31,984
- She's legit, man.
- Wait, wait a second.
433
00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:33,920
- You have a huge following?
- Yeah, dude.
434
00:21:33,953 --> 00:21:36,022
That's amazing.
How did you grow your audience?
435
00:21:36,055 --> 00:21:39,524
Um... I'm, like, funny.
436
00:21:39,557 --> 00:21:41,593
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
437
00:21:41,627 --> 00:21:43,229
I mean,
having a big following...
438
00:21:43,262 --> 00:21:46,999
I can... I mean, yeah, all
those notifications coming in.
439
00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:49,068
I mean, I get it.
I do, too.
440
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:51,569
So, Jessie, it's super nice
to meet you.
441
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,806
Follow for follow, and if you
post anything on my Spree,
442
00:21:53,839 --> 00:21:54,974
just make sure to tag me.
443
00:21:55,007 --> 00:21:56,742
I'm KurtsWorld96.
444
00:21:56,776 --> 00:21:58,177
Sir, are you a Twitter bot,
445
00:21:58,210 --> 00:21:59,812
or is there a real live
human boy in there?
446
00:21:59,845 --> 00:22:01,479
Do not touch me.
447
00:22:01,513 --> 00:22:03,916
I'm as real as you.
I don't...
448
00:22:05,751 --> 00:22:07,653
Yo, yo, I got to say,
you were...
449
00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:09,722
you were one of the better
sets that night.
450
00:22:09,755 --> 00:22:12,590
- Just very pro, I thought.
- Wow, thank you.
451
00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:14,060
- Thank you so much.
- Don't... Don't be...
452
00:22:14,093 --> 00:22:15,795
Glad you think I'm pro,
453
00:22:15,828 --> 00:22:18,698
even though I was doing
a professional gig.
454
00:22:18,731 --> 00:22:20,933
Okay.
Yo, yo, what up?
455
00:22:20,967 --> 00:22:23,568
It's your boy Mario,
and we out here.
456
00:22:23,601 --> 00:22:25,271
Guess who.
457
00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:27,940
Hot chick comedian Jessie Adams
in the house.
458
00:22:27,974 --> 00:22:29,909
Stop! Do not point
that phone in my face.
459
00:22:29,942 --> 00:22:31,077
- What is wrong with you?
- Yeah, point it at me,
460
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:32,610
your driver, Kurt's World.
461
00:22:32,645 --> 00:22:33,746
- Kurt's World. Follow me.
- You shut the fuck up.
462
00:22:33,779 --> 00:22:35,147
- KurtsWorld96.
- You come on.
463
00:22:35,181 --> 00:22:36,983
Give me a little smile.
464
00:22:37,016 --> 00:22:39,752
Oh, my God, are all the tanning
oils getting to your head?
465
00:22:39,785 --> 00:22:42,021
I thought all you frat boys
didn't like black people?
466
00:22:42,054 --> 00:22:44,657
What the...
Why would you say that?
467
00:22:44,690 --> 00:22:46,624
That's not fucking true.
Now I can't even post this.
468
00:22:46,659 --> 00:22:47,927
Oh, no.
469
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,962
Squirt's World,
just let me out here.
470
00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:51,630
No, come on, let me just do this
one more time, please.
471
00:22:51,664 --> 00:22:53,733
What? Are you serious?
You are pissing me off.
472
00:22:53,766 --> 00:22:55,801
Honestly, man, I'm about ready
to drop you off
473
00:22:55,835 --> 00:22:57,169
on the side of the road, okay?
474
00:22:57,203 --> 00:22:58,938
You're pissing off Jessie Adams.
475
00:22:58,971 --> 00:23:01,874
Just grab a water and get ready
to call another Spree.
476
00:23:01,907 --> 00:23:03,676
On the side
of the fucking highway?
477
00:23:03,709 --> 00:23:04,844
Are you nuts?
478
00:23:04,877 --> 00:23:06,611
No, no, I'm not.
And you know what?
479
00:23:06,645 --> 00:23:09,949
You just got yourself
a one-star rating, bitch.
480
00:23:09,982 --> 00:23:12,952
And you, you should really use
that beautiful smile
481
00:23:12,985 --> 00:23:14,253
a little bit more often.
482
00:23:14,286 --> 00:23:16,822
- Oh, wow. Okay, alright.
- Yeah.
483
00:23:16,856 --> 00:23:19,158
Hey, guys, I'm stuck
in a SpreeSocial
484
00:23:19,191 --> 00:23:20,793
with this defective clown.
485
00:23:20,826 --> 00:23:23,162
He's been nagging me
and asking me to smile.
486
00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:26,564
If you see him on the street,
just cross to the other side.
487
00:23:26,598 --> 00:23:28,934
Or just push him in traffic.
That'd be better for everybody.
488
00:23:28,968 --> 00:23:30,736
- He goes by the name of Mario.
- Hey, everyone, what's going on?
489
00:23:30,770 --> 00:23:32,171
KurtsWorld96 here.
490
00:23:32,204 --> 00:23:33,839
Follow me for "The Lesson."
Link's in the bio.
491
00:23:33,873 --> 00:23:36,175
- And I always follow back.
- Oh, my God.
492
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:37,810
Why do I keep
doing this to myself?
493
00:23:37,843 --> 00:23:40,612
I'm in a fucking SpreeSocial
to save 3 bucks?
494
00:23:40,646 --> 00:23:43,548
For this headache?
This ever happen to you guys?
495
00:23:44,717 --> 00:23:47,787
I'm just saying that you
becoming Insta famous
496
00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:50,588
has really gone to your head,
'cause you're a total bitch.
497
00:23:50,622 --> 00:23:51,724
Oh.
498
00:23:51,757 --> 00:23:53,192
- Out.
- Me?
499
00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:55,795
She's the one being
all fucking mean and shit.
500
00:23:55,828 --> 00:23:57,595
No, fuck this.
I'm getting out.
501
00:23:57,630 --> 00:23:58,764
No, no, no, wait.
Are you sure?
502
00:23:58,798 --> 00:24:00,232
Fuck you.
503
00:24:00,266 --> 00:24:02,635
And you just, like,
reel it in a little bit.
504
00:24:02,668 --> 00:24:04,136
No one says "Follow for follow"
out loud.
505
00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:06,105
Wait, no, you...
you can't take that.
506
00:24:06,138 --> 00:24:07,973
- Why? 'Cause the ride was free?
- No, you just...
507
00:24:08,007 --> 00:24:09,742
- You cannot take that.
- Seriously?
508
00:24:11,644 --> 00:24:14,080
Hey, maybe don't be
such a bitch next time.
509
00:24:14,113 --> 00:24:16,048
Oh, how's this
for being a bitch?
510
00:24:21,053 --> 00:24:23,155
Just drive, faggot.
511
00:24:28,661 --> 00:24:30,029
You know what?
512
00:24:30,062 --> 00:24:34,867
The only way to fix this
is with some pussy.
513
00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:43,242
Yo, where the fuck
are we going right now?
514
00:24:43,275 --> 00:24:44,844
It's a shortcut.
515
00:24:44,877 --> 00:24:47,012
This is not a fucking shortcut.
Are you serious?
516
00:24:47,046 --> 00:24:48,380
Yeah, it is a shortcut.
517
00:24:48,414 --> 00:24:50,149
I know this park like
the back of my hand.
518
00:24:50,182 --> 00:24:51,350
Got to be kidding me.
519
00:24:51,383 --> 00:24:53,285
Cross to the other side.
520
00:24:53,319 --> 00:24:55,788
Or just push him in traffic.
That'd be better for everybody.
521
00:24:55,821 --> 00:24:56,989
He goes by the name of Mario.
522
00:24:57,022 --> 00:24:58,757
Oh, fuck, I...
523
00:24:58,791 --> 00:25:00,292
I don't feel so good.
524
00:25:00,326 --> 00:25:02,895
You don't... You don't...
Do you need me to pull over?
525
00:25:02,928 --> 00:25:04,930
Oh, yo, she's got
like 200K followers.
526
00:25:04,964 --> 00:25:06,966
I'm getting all this hate
already.
527
00:25:06,999 --> 00:25:08,267
Don't vomit in my car.
528
00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:10,136
Oh, God! Fuck.
529
00:25:10,169 --> 00:25:13,272
This fucking...
Got to be kidding me.
530
00:25:14,006 --> 00:25:16,108
What the fuck, man?
Keep going.
531
00:25:16,142 --> 00:25:18,844
No, if you're gonna barf,
get out of my car.
532
00:25:18,878 --> 00:25:22,081
I have some dumb bitch
waiting for me.
533
00:25:22,114 --> 00:25:25,184
And I need to go fuck her
right fucking now!
534
00:25:25,217 --> 00:25:28,053
I need to keep my car clean!
535
00:25:28,087 --> 00:25:31,690
So if you're gonna hurl,
get outside and do it. Go.
536
00:25:31,724 --> 00:25:34,793
Alright, you know what?
I got to take a piss anyway.
537
00:25:34,827 --> 00:25:36,295
That's the only reason
I'm doing this right now.
538
00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:38,097
You fucking beta.
539
00:25:38,130 --> 00:25:39,899
Zero stars for you.
540
00:26:09,962 --> 00:26:11,430
Wow, are you guys seeing this?
541
00:26:19,772 --> 00:26:20,940
Fun.
542
00:26:40,159 --> 00:26:43,095
Okay, look, I know this
face mask looks this way
543
00:26:43,128 --> 00:26:44,296
because it's a charcoal mask.
544
00:26:44,330 --> 00:26:45,965
I know that.
545
00:26:45,998 --> 00:26:48,133
But doesn't it feel like maybe,
just maybe,
546
00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:50,769
this was created so people
could try out blackface
547
00:26:50,803 --> 00:26:52,871
for 10 to 15 minutes at a time?
548
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:55,541
Look at this white lady.
Look at how happy she is.
549
00:26:55,574 --> 00:26:58,978
She knows she's getting away
with something.
550
00:26:59,011 --> 00:27:00,546
I'm just saying.
551
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:02,147
Shit.
552
00:27:02,181 --> 00:27:04,016
Wait.
553
00:27:05,584 --> 00:27:07,019
Let there be light.
554
00:27:07,052 --> 00:27:09,021
You think I would
let "The Lesson"
555
00:27:09,054 --> 00:27:10,556
continue in the dark?
556
00:27:10,589 --> 00:27:12,524
Check that.
557
00:27:12,558 --> 00:27:14,126
Perfect.
558
00:27:14,159 --> 00:27:15,928
She's got good content.
559
00:27:15,961 --> 00:27:18,297
She needs me.
560
00:27:18,330 --> 00:27:20,566
Like, if a woman's
not smiling all the time
561
00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:23,202
or looking happy all the time,
she looks like a bitch?
562
00:27:23,235 --> 00:27:25,938
No, bitch, that was me.
563
00:27:25,971 --> 00:27:29,208
Damn, girl, your carpet
looking ratchet.
564
00:27:29,241 --> 00:27:30,576
Bew-bew-bew!
565
00:27:30,609 --> 00:27:32,811
I been scammed, bruh.
566
00:27:37,516 --> 00:27:39,551
I looked at my phone.
I looked back up.
567
00:27:39,585 --> 00:27:41,820
His dick was out.
568
00:27:41,854 --> 00:27:43,155
Learned my lesson.
569
00:27:43,188 --> 00:27:45,958
I don't tell anyone the time
anymore.
570
00:27:45,991 --> 00:27:47,593
That's my active bitch face.
571
00:27:47,627 --> 00:27:49,128
What time is it?
572
00:27:49,161 --> 00:27:50,162
Time for you
to go fuck yourself.
573
00:27:50,195 --> 00:27:51,263
That's what time it is.
574
00:27:51,297 --> 00:27:53,098
Alright, thank you very much.
575
00:27:53,132 --> 00:27:54,533
Hmm.
576
00:27:54,566 --> 00:27:57,169
Doing a show tonight.
577
00:27:57,202 --> 00:27:58,537
Joke Bros.
578
00:27:58,570 --> 00:28:01,206
Big presence.
Joke Bros are huge.
579
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,574
Too bad I can't go.
580
00:28:02,608 --> 00:28:04,576
It's funny how the stars
will align like that.
581
00:28:04,610 --> 00:28:07,446
Me and Jessie, two big things...
582
00:28:07,479 --> 00:28:10,316
two big things happening
on the... on the same night.
583
00:28:12,418 --> 00:28:14,453
It's universal coincidence.
584
00:28:22,528 --> 00:28:25,364
Never miss an opportunity
for branding.
585
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:29,435
Are you with me on this, Bobby?
586
00:28:29,468 --> 00:28:31,638
I mean, I knew
this was going to work.
587
00:28:31,671 --> 00:28:33,405
I knew it.
588
00:28:33,439 --> 00:28:36,275
Uh, what does that mean?
589
00:28:36,308 --> 00:28:39,211
Dude, I'm literally, like,
the only one watching.
590
00:28:39,244 --> 00:28:41,413
Yeah, Bobby, that's because
everybody knows
591
00:28:41,447 --> 00:28:42,614
we're taking a break right now.
592
00:28:42,649 --> 00:28:44,616
I'm tipping off my tank.
593
00:28:44,651 --> 00:28:47,920
And they were...
It was double digits before.
594
00:28:55,394 --> 00:28:58,931
Less than 10
equals single digits.
595
00:29:03,001 --> 00:29:04,903
How is this even possible?
596
00:29:04,937 --> 00:29:07,139
I'm literally out here
giving everything I've got.
597
00:29:07,172 --> 00:29:11,043
I'm picking people up
and dropping them off.
598
00:29:11,076 --> 00:29:12,411
Dropping them off.
599
00:29:17,149 --> 00:29:20,986
No one wants to watch a white
guy drive around and whatever.
600
00:29:21,019 --> 00:29:22,054
Whatever?
601
00:29:23,288 --> 00:29:25,324
I...
602
00:29:25,357 --> 00:29:29,528
Dude, I'm literally out here,
like, live...
603
00:29:31,731 --> 00:29:33,232
...killing people.
604
00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:39,938
No, Bobby,
it's not stale content.
605
00:29:39,972 --> 00:29:41,674
It's authentic.
Alright, it's...
606
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:45,210
It's like, um, homeless hero,
y-you know?
607
00:29:47,980 --> 00:29:50,015
Watch it again LOL.
608
00:29:55,688 --> 00:29:58,190
Now, you guys know
I usually prank the homeless.
609
00:29:58,223 --> 00:29:59,358
Homeless prank 17.
610
00:29:59,391 --> 00:30:01,226
Here we go, guys.
Check this out.
611
00:30:03,996 --> 00:30:05,330
It's not even real money, bro.
612
00:30:05,364 --> 00:30:07,332
But today we're doing
something different.
613
00:30:07,366 --> 00:30:08,668
Your boy had a little
change of heart,
614
00:30:08,701 --> 00:30:11,170
and I'm really glad that I did.
615
00:30:11,203 --> 00:30:13,740
I wanted to know what an
authentic homeless guy would do
616
00:30:13,773 --> 00:30:16,141
if he found a real $100 bill
on the street.
617
00:30:16,175 --> 00:30:18,745
So I set it up and secretly
followed him around.
618
00:30:18,778 --> 00:30:20,479
Let's go.
619
00:30:20,512 --> 00:30:24,183
Liquor store.
Pathetic.
620
00:30:24,216 --> 00:30:27,186
How many 40s can $100 get you?
621
00:30:29,555 --> 00:30:32,458
Now let's see where he's headed
with his big score.
622
00:30:37,496 --> 00:30:39,598
Oh, wait.
What's going on?
623
00:30:40,399 --> 00:30:43,001
Oh, my God, it looks like
he just gave them food
624
00:30:43,035 --> 00:30:44,603
and, like, supplies
for them to eat.
625
00:30:44,637 --> 00:30:49,041
Wow. Looks like this guy
really is a homeless hero.
626
00:30:49,074 --> 00:30:50,777
This guy went out
and made a huge difference
627
00:30:50,810 --> 00:30:53,145
for his community,
and you can, too.
628
00:30:53,178 --> 00:30:55,414
Drop a like and smash
that "subscribe" button.
629
00:30:55,447 --> 00:30:58,317
It makes a huge difference.
630
00:31:12,231 --> 00:31:14,233
Okay, okay, okay, Bobby.
Fine.
631
00:31:14,266 --> 00:31:17,069
You're right.
I promise to spice things up.
632
00:31:17,102 --> 00:31:19,238
But what about
your promise to me, Bobby, huh?
633
00:31:19,271 --> 00:31:20,740
What about your promise?
634
00:31:25,577 --> 00:31:28,046
You promised that you would
share "The Lesson" tonight.
635
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,216
I don't see... I haven't
seen anything from you.
636
00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:33,151
Not anything.
637
00:31:37,690 --> 00:31:40,660
It's not fucking evil.
It's awesome content.
638
00:31:47,266 --> 00:31:51,270
Add some WTF moments or GTFO.
639
00:31:51,303 --> 00:31:52,639
Okay.
640
00:31:55,675 --> 00:31:57,276
What the fuck?
641
00:31:57,309 --> 00:31:59,679
Stop! Stop!
642
00:31:59,712 --> 00:32:01,848
- Fuck you!
- What the fuck?
643
00:32:04,884 --> 00:32:06,719
I got it, I got it, I got it!
644
00:32:06,753 --> 00:32:08,620
I got it!
I've got it!
645
00:32:08,655 --> 00:32:10,790
- I've got it.
- What the fuck are you doing?
646
00:32:10,823 --> 00:32:13,425
Oh, my God, okay.
So boring.
647
00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:16,461
Oh, my gosh.
Check this out. Ohh.
648
00:32:16,495 --> 00:32:19,097
No one cares about your fucking
stupid lights, dude.
649
00:32:19,131 --> 00:32:20,165
You almost just killed us.
650
00:32:20,198 --> 00:32:21,868
No, I didn't.
651
00:32:21,901 --> 00:32:24,136
Come on, you guys,
this is what we said we wanted.
652
00:32:24,169 --> 00:32:26,338
- An adventure.
- No, London.
653
00:32:26,371 --> 00:32:28,373
Things that we can put
on the Gram, that's it.
654
00:32:28,407 --> 00:32:30,142
You know what?
Whatever.
655
00:32:30,175 --> 00:32:32,411
Next time why don't you guys
just buy a fucking Groupon
656
00:32:32,444 --> 00:32:34,346
and count me out, you pussies.
657
00:32:36,615 --> 00:32:38,350
She's mad.
658
00:32:40,586 --> 00:32:42,321
Is this okay?
659
00:32:42,354 --> 00:32:44,456
Yeah, yeah, sure.
660
00:32:45,490 --> 00:32:48,527
Don't listen to them, because
I think you're a badass.
661
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:49,896
Your lips are so pretty.
662
00:32:49,929 --> 00:32:52,598
- Thanks, babe.
- I need pretty lips.
663
00:32:53,766 --> 00:32:55,567
Hold on.
What the fuck is that?
664
00:32:56,301 --> 00:32:58,671
- Oh, what's this, Mr. Fix-it?
- No, no!
665
00:32:58,705 --> 00:33:02,441
No! No. No.
666
00:33:02,474 --> 00:33:05,611
- Don't touch his drill.
- Don't touch his drill.
667
00:33:05,645 --> 00:33:07,379
- It's cute, though.
- You know what?
668
00:33:07,412 --> 00:33:09,916
I think... I actually think
I know what you guys want.
669
00:33:09,949 --> 00:33:12,184
Get people to think you're
having, like, a big adventure,
670
00:33:12,217 --> 00:33:14,319
like, a total WTF moment,
am I right?
671
00:33:14,353 --> 00:33:15,354
Yeah.
672
00:33:15,387 --> 00:33:18,223
Well, honestly, I know this...
673
00:33:18,256 --> 00:33:20,258
I know this spot
that not a lot of people know.
674
00:33:20,292 --> 00:33:22,194
And it's a really
incredible view,
675
00:33:22,227 --> 00:33:24,897
and it'll be empty right now.
676
00:33:24,931 --> 00:33:27,566
- What if we go hit it up?
- Yeah, that sounds cool.
677
00:33:27,599 --> 00:33:28,835
Yeah? What do you guys
think about that?
678
00:33:28,868 --> 00:33:29,936
Would you guys want to go?
679
00:33:29,969 --> 00:33:31,370
Fucking incredible spot.
680
00:33:31,403 --> 00:33:32,471
Fuck it, sure.
681
00:33:32,504 --> 00:33:33,840
- Let's fest.
- Yeah.
682
00:33:55,527 --> 00:33:58,196
Alright, guys, get your phones
out, get up there.
683
00:33:58,230 --> 00:33:59,632
- Go for it.
- Up there?
684
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:02,567
Are you being serious?
Put our heads up there?
685
00:34:02,601 --> 00:34:03,836
Live a little.
686
00:34:04,771 --> 00:34:06,338
Okay, let's do it.
687
00:34:06,371 --> 00:34:07,840
Feel like prom.
688
00:34:07,874 --> 00:34:10,542
- Oh, we're prom queens.
- Get up there, guys.
689
00:34:10,575 --> 00:34:12,745
We're both prom queens.
Okay, stop yelling at us.
690
00:34:13,813 --> 00:34:17,282
Hey, guys, it's so random.
691
00:34:17,315 --> 00:34:18,918
I want to take a picture
692
00:34:18,951 --> 00:34:20,653
looking, like,
this super pretty,
693
00:34:20,687 --> 00:34:22,487
- against, like, the ugly stuff.
- Yes.
694
00:34:22,521 --> 00:34:24,456
Hey, you guys, make sure
to take some selfies,
695
00:34:24,489 --> 00:34:27,359
and if you do,
tag it #TheLesson, one word.
696
00:34:27,392 --> 00:34:29,361
Bless... #blessings.
697
00:34:29,394 --> 00:34:31,296
- No, #TheLesson.
- No, #TheLesson, one word.
698
00:34:31,329 --> 00:34:32,965
- #TheLesson.
- #TheLesson.
699
00:34:32,999 --> 00:34:35,635
- #TheLesson.
- Oh, my God, Kurt.
700
00:34:35,668 --> 00:34:37,602
This place is so funky.
701
00:34:37,637 --> 00:34:39,438
But so beautiful.
702
00:34:39,471 --> 00:34:40,840
Thanks, yeah.
703
00:34:40,873 --> 00:34:42,942
Yeah, my mom's dad
used to own this place.
704
00:34:42,975 --> 00:34:45,912
- So I practically grew up here.
- Really?
705
00:34:45,945 --> 00:34:48,580
Oh, my God, there's for sure
a dead body here.
706
00:34:48,613 --> 00:34:52,317
It smells like there's, like,
several dead bodies here.
707
00:34:52,350 --> 00:34:55,387
My mom actually found this here.
She gave it to me.
708
00:34:55,420 --> 00:34:58,523
That's so sweet.
709
00:34:58,557 --> 00:35:00,525
She must really love you.
710
00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:02,762
Yeah, she ditched my dad
right after that.
711
00:35:02,795 --> 00:35:04,429
She used to be
a major star fucker.
712
00:35:04,463 --> 00:35:06,999
Hmm.
That sucks, I guess.
713
00:35:07,033 --> 00:35:10,502
No, it's okay.
My dad's a fucking loser anyway.
714
00:35:10,535 --> 00:35:11,938
I kind of feel like
I'm having déjà vu.
715
00:35:11,971 --> 00:35:13,840
Did you know that means
716
00:35:13,873 --> 00:35:15,540
you're exactly
where you're supposed to be?
717
00:35:15,574 --> 00:35:19,779
It's 'cause I
am exactly
where I'm supposed to be.
718
00:35:19,812 --> 00:35:20,947
Fuck.
719
00:35:30,555 --> 00:35:33,025
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Kurt! Guys!
720
00:35:35,393 --> 00:35:38,030
- Aah, London, what the fuck?
- Are you okay?
721
00:35:38,064 --> 00:35:41,067
Oh, my God, bitch,
this is amazing!
722
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:44,737
Driver,
you're getting five stars.
723
00:35:44,771 --> 00:35:46,973
Hey, roll your window down
and get your phone out.
724
00:35:47,006 --> 00:35:48,841
You're not gonna
want to miss this.
725
00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:53,512
Whoo!
726
00:35:53,545 --> 00:35:55,915
Wait, stop, stop.
727
00:35:55,948 --> 00:35:57,784
Fuck, fuck. Ow!
728
00:35:57,817 --> 00:35:58,785
Aah!
729
00:36:04,523 --> 00:36:06,659
Oh, my God, Kurt, be careful.
730
00:36:06,692 --> 00:36:08,326
Oh, sorry.
I'm just trying to give you guys
731
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:09,829
cool shit you can post.
732
00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:12,464
Oh, my God, look how many likes
I'm getting.
733
00:36:12,497 --> 00:36:14,533
Oh, show me.
734
00:36:14,566 --> 00:36:16,334
Aah! Ah!
735
00:36:16,368 --> 00:36:18,704
Oh, my God!
Roll the window up!
736
00:36:18,738 --> 00:36:20,840
Roll the window up.
737
00:36:20,873 --> 00:36:22,440
Roll up the window.
738
00:36:47,432 --> 00:36:48,835
What's up, dude?
739
00:36:48,868 --> 00:36:51,536
Yo, yo, did you
just fucking see that?
740
00:36:51,570 --> 00:36:53,005
See what?
741
00:36:53,039 --> 00:36:55,574
I just got, like,
the most epic fucking kill ever.
742
00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:57,643
It was a triple KO.
Bobby.
743
00:36:57,677 --> 00:36:59,145
Well, if a tree falls
in the forest
744
00:36:59,178 --> 00:37:00,980
and there's no one there
to see it,
745
00:37:01,013 --> 00:37:03,481
like, does it even
actually fall, dude? No.
746
00:37:03,515 --> 00:37:04,984
What the fuck is wrong
with everybody?
747
00:37:05,017 --> 00:37:06,384
This should be
going viral by now.
748
00:37:06,418 --> 00:37:07,485
I just got seven.
749
00:37:07,519 --> 00:37:08,788
Bobby I got seven
rideshare kills.
750
00:37:08,821 --> 00:37:10,656
Why... Why isn't this trending?
751
00:37:10,690 --> 00:37:12,758
'Cause you're not
fucking good at this.
752
00:37:12,792 --> 00:37:16,128
Wake up. Okay, some people
are born with influencer vibes.
753
00:37:16,162 --> 00:37:17,697
And some people are not.
754
00:37:17,730 --> 00:37:19,165
Okay, like that comedian girl
755
00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:21,067
who was in the back
of your Spree, Jessie Adams,
756
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:22,768
I checked out her shit,
757
00:37:22,802 --> 00:37:25,604
and she's got great energy
and an authentic brand.
758
00:37:25,638 --> 00:37:27,039
Why don't you take
a look at her story
759
00:37:27,073 --> 00:37:29,942
and see how it's done, retard?
760
00:37:29,976 --> 00:37:32,144
No 'roids here.
761
00:37:41,486 --> 00:37:45,024
Oh, my gosh,
it's a puppy parade.
762
00:37:45,057 --> 00:37:46,993
- Can I pet them?
- Yeah.
763
00:37:47,026 --> 00:37:49,561
Oh, my goodness.
This is how I want to die.
764
00:37:49,594 --> 00:37:51,898
Yes, yes, hi.
765
00:37:51,931 --> 00:37:55,701
Can I have one of these,
maybe two of these?
766
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:57,837
Oh, my God.
767
00:37:58,570 --> 00:38:00,106
The love of my life.
768
00:38:00,139 --> 00:38:02,474
He's been nagging me
and asking me to smile.
769
00:38:02,507 --> 00:38:05,845
If you see him on the street,
just cross to the other side.
770
00:38:05,878 --> 00:38:08,114
Or just push him in traffic.
That'd be better for everybody.
771
00:38:08,147 --> 00:38:09,949
- He goes by the name of Mario.
- Hey, everyone, what's going on?
772
00:38:09,982 --> 00:38:11,583
KurtsWorld96 here.
773
00:38:11,616 --> 00:38:13,019
Follow me for "The Lesson."
Link's in the bio.
774
00:38:13,052 --> 00:38:15,520
- And I always follow back.
- Oh, my God.
775
00:38:15,553 --> 00:38:18,791
It's in the past.
It's not gonna ruin my day.
776
00:38:18,824 --> 00:38:20,693
Silver linings playbook...
777
00:38:20,726 --> 00:38:22,962
Got to get your steps in
wherever you can.
778
00:38:22,995 --> 00:38:24,931
Everything happens for a reason.
779
00:38:27,099 --> 00:38:28,801
Okay, so you know
how I was saying
780
00:38:28,834 --> 00:38:31,203
tonight is gonna be
a very special night?
781
00:38:31,237 --> 00:38:33,973
Well, the Joke Bros
are coming to my show,
782
00:38:34,006 --> 00:38:35,241
and they're
live-streaming my set
783
00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:37,009
for their
midnight madness thing.
784
00:38:37,043 --> 00:38:39,745
Like a million people are gonna
be watching this tonight.
785
00:38:39,779 --> 00:38:41,579
She doesn't even
film her stories vertically.
786
00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:43,749
...for one of
my toughest critics.
787
00:38:43,783 --> 00:38:45,851
Do all of her fans
have neck problems?
788
00:38:45,885 --> 00:38:47,720
- You ready?
- She's going live.
789
00:38:50,022 --> 00:38:51,691
And this is vertical?
790
00:38:52,892 --> 00:38:54,126
That's totally inconsistent,
791
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:58,831
and consistency's
the first ground rule.
792
00:38:59,632 --> 00:39:02,600
Do you have any
brand identity at all?
793
00:39:02,635 --> 00:39:06,604
Makes me upset when
you're not being uniform.
794
00:39:06,639 --> 00:39:08,007
You fell asleep during my jokes.
795
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,575
Was you telling jokes?
796
00:39:10,608 --> 00:39:12,044
I don't think I would
have closed my eyes
797
00:39:12,078 --> 00:39:13,813
if I had heard jokes.
798
00:39:13,846 --> 00:39:15,648
Jessie Adams, if you're
listening, you disappoint me.
799
00:39:15,681 --> 00:39:18,851
If you think it's so easy,
then you say something funny.
800
00:39:18,884 --> 00:39:21,586
Something funny.
801
00:39:21,619 --> 00:39:24,589
Okay, now you all see
where I get it from.
802
00:39:24,622 --> 00:39:26,025
It's one of the oldest tricks
in the book.
803
00:39:26,058 --> 00:39:28,894
- But it still works.
- But it still works.
804
00:39:28,928 --> 00:39:30,629
Oh, my God,
like a broken record.
805
00:39:30,663 --> 00:39:32,564
This is not
very relatable to me.
806
00:39:32,597 --> 00:39:34,566
- 'Cause my grandma's dead.
- Uh-oh, Grandma.
807
00:39:34,599 --> 00:39:36,202
My fans think you're a snack.
808
00:39:36,235 --> 00:39:39,005
How would... How... How would
everyone relate to this?
809
00:39:41,307 --> 00:39:43,009
She's gonna get
a million views tonight.
810
00:39:43,042 --> 00:39:45,011
And I'm gonna get nothing?
811
00:39:45,044 --> 00:39:47,579
- The dog filter.
- No.
812
00:39:49,281 --> 00:39:51,017
I'm not letting that happen.
813
00:39:51,050 --> 00:39:52,985
I wish I could
hang out all night
814
00:39:53,019 --> 00:39:55,755
with this strong,
beautiful queen.
815
00:39:55,788 --> 00:39:57,622
But instead
I have to go hang out
816
00:39:57,656 --> 00:39:59,325
with you bozos
coming to my show.
817
00:39:59,358 --> 00:40:01,827
You promised me
an audience, Bobby.
818
00:40:01,861 --> 00:40:04,130
Don't be using me
as no ticket bait, either.
819
00:40:04,163 --> 00:40:06,699
- Damn, Gram.
- That should be my audience.
820
00:40:06,732 --> 00:40:08,067
And if I can't have it,
why can she have it?
821
00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:09,835
When you get to be my age
822
00:40:09,869 --> 00:40:13,039
and you just a few feet away
from the grim reaper,
823
00:40:13,072 --> 00:40:14,640
- you don't have no choice.
- Should be my audience.
824
00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:16,008
Please don't talk
about the grim reaper.
825
00:40:16,042 --> 00:40:17,343
You're gonna live forever.
Okay?
826
00:40:17,376 --> 00:40:18,944
I don't know
what I would do without you.
827
00:40:18,978 --> 00:40:21,280
Things have to be fair.
828
00:40:21,313 --> 00:40:24,917
Okay, now is the moment
you've all been waiting for.
829
00:40:24,950 --> 00:40:26,584
Things have to be fair, Jessie.
830
00:40:26,618 --> 00:40:27,753
Don't go anywhere.
831
00:40:27,787 --> 00:40:29,021
It's my house.
832
00:40:30,056 --> 00:40:31,623
Why would I go anywhere?
833
00:40:31,657 --> 00:40:33,359
JESSIE
Yeah, that's a good point.
834
00:40:33,392 --> 00:40:36,629
Oh, that's so sweet, Jonesy.
That means a lot to me.
835
00:40:36,662 --> 00:40:38,831
Yeah, let me know what you guys
think of the set tonight.
836
00:40:38,864 --> 00:40:40,733
It's gonna be a weird one.
837
00:40:40,766 --> 00:40:43,803
That phone's
making you act foolish.
838
00:40:43,836 --> 00:40:45,037
Thanks for ironing, Grandma.
839
00:40:45,071 --> 00:40:47,640
Hope you're watching this,
Bobby.
840
00:40:47,673 --> 00:40:49,375
What do you think
of these pants?
841
00:40:49,408 --> 00:40:51,609
Too Ronald McDonald?
842
00:40:51,644 --> 00:40:53,179
Honk, honk.
843
00:40:53,212 --> 00:40:55,681
Not trying to be
a clown tonight.
844
00:40:55,714 --> 00:40:57,850
Maybe this.
845
00:40:57,883 --> 00:41:01,720
I like this.
Maybe some "Kill Bill" yellow.
846
00:41:01,754 --> 00:41:04,123
Like a little bumblebee.
847
00:41:05,691 --> 00:41:07,626
Who the fuck is that?
848
00:41:12,131 --> 00:41:13,199
Grandma.
849
00:41:14,834 --> 00:41:16,836
Grandma, are you
expecting somebody?
850
00:41:16,869 --> 00:41:19,805
I told you
the reaper was close.
851
00:41:19,839 --> 00:41:21,173
Oh, my God.
852
00:41:21,207 --> 00:41:22,842
Who would come here
at this hour?
853
00:41:22,875 --> 00:41:24,743
I thought I was
your only friend.
854
00:41:28,047 --> 00:41:30,649
- Your chariot awaits.
- What are you doing here?
855
00:41:30,683 --> 00:41:31,884
I told you
I'd meet you at the show.
856
00:41:31,917 --> 00:41:33,119
Yeah, no, I saw your story.
857
00:41:33,152 --> 00:41:34,420
I figured you could
use some help.
858
00:41:34,453 --> 00:41:36,155
Like, I think we should talk.
859
00:41:36,188 --> 00:41:38,224
Are you streaming me
in your fucking shit right now?
860
00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:39,892
Sorry.
It's important.
861
00:41:39,925 --> 00:41:41,760
I knew I shouldn't have
told you where I moved.
862
00:41:41,794 --> 00:41:43,295
Dude, you need to go, okay?
863
00:41:43,329 --> 00:41:45,231
I don't want to be part
of your dumb evil shit, alright?
864
00:41:45,264 --> 00:41:46,765
No, you are part of it, okay?
865
00:41:46,799 --> 00:41:48,134
'Cause we're... we're...
we're collaborators.
866
00:41:48,167 --> 00:41:49,902
- We're big-time collaborators.
- No, no.
867
00:41:49,935 --> 00:41:51,170
For the record,
we're definitely not.
868
00:41:51,203 --> 00:41:53,205
- Alright, later, Kurt.
- No, no.
869
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:54,406
No.
870
00:41:56,208 --> 00:41:57,376
Alright,
you asked for this, man.
871
00:41:59,011 --> 00:42:01,313
What is up, BaseCamp?
It's that time again.
872
00:42:01,347 --> 00:42:05,084
Bobby Court, where I am the
judge, jury, and executioner.
873
00:42:05,117 --> 00:42:07,753
Today I actually wanted to set
the record straight on something
874
00:42:07,786 --> 00:42:09,688
that's been bugging me
for a minute, y'all.
875
00:42:09,722 --> 00:42:11,157
See this motherfucker
right here?
876
00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:12,391
This guy's name is Kurt.
877
00:42:12,424 --> 00:42:14,226
And just because
he used to babysit me
878
00:42:14,260 --> 00:42:16,228
when I was, like, fucking 2,
he thinks I owe him something.
879
00:42:16,262 --> 00:42:17,963
I don't owe you shit dude, okay?
880
00:42:17,997 --> 00:42:20,733
Now Kurt's up to some super,
super-evil shit,
881
00:42:20,766 --> 00:42:22,168
and he's trying to pin it on me.
882
00:42:22,201 --> 00:42:23,836
You see, guys,
the thing about Kurt is,
883
00:42:23,869 --> 00:42:26,805
he really wants attention,
and he needs it, too.
884
00:42:26,839 --> 00:42:29,375
Fucking medical attention, dude.
You legally insane.
885
00:42:29,408 --> 00:42:31,210
That's my verdict.
886
00:42:31,243 --> 00:42:32,478
Dude, should I call you
an ambulance right now?
887
00:42:32,511 --> 00:42:34,013
Maybe they can
take you out of here.
888
00:42:34,046 --> 00:42:36,815
No. Honestly, Bobby,
I just wanted to...
889
00:42:36,849 --> 00:42:39,418
I wanted to... I wanted to tell
you that I had figured it out,
890
00:42:39,451 --> 00:42:41,086
something so important.
891
00:42:42,922 --> 00:42:45,257
Well, tell BaseCamp
something super important
892
00:42:45,291 --> 00:42:48,093
and then get out my fucking face
before I report your account.
893
00:42:48,127 --> 00:42:49,762
And quit fucking
filming me, dude.
894
00:42:49,795 --> 00:42:51,297
I don't want to be
on your fucking stream.
895
00:42:51,330 --> 00:42:53,199
You fuck... You asked for it.
896
00:42:53,232 --> 00:42:55,968
You... Okay.
897
00:42:56,001 --> 00:42:59,271
I fucking... I figured out the
last two steps of "The Lesson."
898
00:43:00,973 --> 00:43:03,142
Step one... hijack Jessie Adams'
comedy show.
899
00:43:03,175 --> 00:43:04,510
It's a shortcut
to a huge audience.
900
00:43:04,543 --> 00:43:05,945
A lot of people
are gonna be there.
901
00:43:05,978 --> 00:43:07,513
She's huge.
She has a huge following.
902
00:43:07,546 --> 00:43:10,115
Yeah, it's a really
good idea for you,
903
00:43:10,149 --> 00:43:13,519
being someone with no sense
of humor and no social skills.
904
00:43:13,552 --> 00:43:16,855
The face of an inbred dog.
What's step two, retard?
905
00:43:16,889 --> 00:43:18,891
Become the fucking president?
906
00:43:18,924 --> 00:43:20,426
What are you gonna do?
907
00:43:26,065 --> 00:43:27,299
What the fuck, dude?
908
00:43:27,333 --> 00:43:29,935
This shit isn't
supposed to be real.
909
00:43:37,276 --> 00:43:38,344
Bobby.
910
00:43:41,547 --> 00:43:43,949
- Wait.
- Get the fuck off me.
911
00:43:52,524 --> 00:43:55,227
What the fuck?
I'll kill you, motherfucker!
912
00:44:17,082 --> 00:44:18,784
U got got.
913
00:44:22,388 --> 00:44:24,923
Oh, my God, Miles,
stop trying to be Vin Diesel.
914
00:44:24,957 --> 00:44:27,026
You sound like a fucking hyena.
915
00:44:27,059 --> 00:44:28,827
"Thanks for the ride, Miles."
916
00:44:28,861 --> 00:44:30,396
I didn't ask for
the ride, Miles.
917
00:44:30,429 --> 00:44:32,965
You were stalking my grandma's
house for some reason.
918
00:44:32,998 --> 00:44:34,199
Fucking freak.
919
00:44:34,233 --> 00:44:36,268
Yeah, well,
I just didn't want you
920
00:44:36,302 --> 00:44:37,569
to be late for Joke Bros, okay?
921
00:44:37,603 --> 00:44:39,338
You don't have to
worry about me.
922
00:44:39,371 --> 00:44:41,407
- You're not my manager.
- I know I'm not your manager,
923
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:47,946
but someone needs to manage you,
and I guess I nominate myself.
924
00:44:47,980 --> 00:44:50,082
Okay, it's not
a nomination process.
925
00:44:50,115 --> 00:44:52,384
I'm just...
What I'm saying is, like,
926
00:44:52,418 --> 00:44:55,454
Jessie, you could be,
like, the next Chris Rock.
927
00:44:55,487 --> 00:44:57,122
You know what I mean?
You got that, like, classic
928
00:44:57,156 --> 00:44:59,892
black-comic thing
written all over you.
929
00:44:59,925 --> 00:45:02,995
- Chris Rock?
- Yes. "All eyes on me."
930
00:45:03,028 --> 00:45:05,064
I'm telling you,
next Chris Rock, for real.
931
00:45:05,097 --> 00:45:06,365
More like Chris Pebble.
932
00:45:07,667 --> 00:45:09,368
See, that's what I'm saying.
933
00:45:09,401 --> 00:45:10,502
That wasn't even funny.
934
00:45:10,536 --> 00:45:11,970
You're quick.
935
00:45:12,004 --> 00:45:14,306
Jessie, like, you know I know
936
00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:16,408
the Comedy Central scouts,
right?
937
00:45:16,442 --> 00:45:18,410
I can help you.
938
00:45:18,444 --> 00:45:20,446
I wa... I want to help you.
939
00:45:21,213 --> 00:45:24,149
I'm just... I'm just saying,
you're in the right place.
940
00:45:24,183 --> 00:45:27,186
It's happening, Jessie.
So, like, now's the time.
941
00:45:27,219 --> 00:45:30,055
I'm saying, like pull the trigger.
942
00:45:30,089 --> 00:45:31,557
Miles, shut the fuck up.
943
00:45:31,590 --> 00:45:33,525
- What?
- You talk too much.
944
00:45:33,559 --> 00:45:35,561
That's... That's what
they pay me to do.
945
00:45:35,594 --> 00:45:38,897
You know they do not pay you.
946
00:45:38,931 --> 00:45:40,966
Yeah.
947
00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:43,001
They be paying me.
948
00:45:52,411 --> 00:45:55,347
Alright, alright.
949
00:45:55,381 --> 00:45:57,684
You guys.
950
00:45:57,717 --> 00:45:59,551
You guys.
951
00:45:59,585 --> 00:46:02,388
Holy shit, holy shit.
952
00:46:02,421 --> 00:46:04,456
Triple digits, you guys.
953
00:46:04,490 --> 00:46:06,959
It's happening, you guys.
954
00:46:06,992 --> 00:46:08,560
You're following me, you guys.
955
00:46:08,594 --> 00:46:11,130
Yes, yes, you're watching me.
956
00:46:11,163 --> 00:46:13,966
Here I am.
Hello.
957
00:46:13,999 --> 00:46:17,569
Oh, see, that wasn't that hard.
958
00:46:17,603 --> 00:46:19,605
And honestly, guys, thank you.
959
00:46:19,639 --> 00:46:22,074
Thank you so much for watching,
960
00:46:22,107 --> 00:46:24,343
all you guys who have been
with me this entire time.
961
00:46:24,376 --> 00:46:26,345
And guess what.
You will not believe this.
962
00:46:26,378 --> 00:46:29,481
I just bought tickets...
up-my-ass prices...
963
00:46:29,515 --> 00:46:33,118
to the Jessie Adams
comedy show tonight.
964
00:46:33,152 --> 00:46:36,021
So stay tuned. You guys are not
gonna want to close out.
965
00:46:36,054 --> 00:46:37,489
Just keep it open all night.
966
00:46:37,523 --> 00:46:40,359
I promise you guys
will not regret it, okay?
967
00:46:40,392 --> 00:46:42,629
Hey, I'm feeling pretty jacked
right now.
968
00:46:42,662 --> 00:46:44,196
You guys want to, I don't know,
969
00:46:44,229 --> 00:46:46,932
check out my...
check out my boner?
970
00:46:52,304 --> 00:46:53,673
I'm just kidding.
971
00:46:53,706 --> 00:46:55,407
You guys will have to
stick around till the end
972
00:46:55,441 --> 00:46:57,109
for that piece.
973
00:46:57,142 --> 00:46:59,478
Hey, and also for all you
BaseCampers out there,
974
00:46:59,511 --> 00:47:02,347
if you guys are confused,
that's totally chill.
975
00:47:02,381 --> 00:47:06,385
Welcome to Kurt's World.
This is "The Lesson."
976
00:47:07,787 --> 00:47:09,689
Sick.
977
00:47:09,722 --> 00:47:14,293
Oh, oh, my God, guys.
978
00:47:15,762 --> 00:47:17,996
Bobby's swag cam.
979
00:47:19,766 --> 00:47:22,100
Do not tell me.
He...
980
00:47:22,134 --> 00:47:23,602
Oh.
981
00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:26,038
Oh, hell, yeah.
982
00:47:26,071 --> 00:47:28,073
Alright, BaseCampers,
all you guys out there,
983
00:47:28,106 --> 00:47:30,576
I know you must be
kind of confused and stuff.
984
00:47:30,609 --> 00:47:32,411
But do not worry.
Spread the word.
985
00:47:32,444 --> 00:47:38,183
Because this... this right here,
this is an official takeover.
986
00:47:38,217 --> 00:47:40,319
Alright, you guys,
I'm redirecting the feed
987
00:47:40,352 --> 00:47:42,321
to my channel.
988
00:47:42,354 --> 00:47:44,490
Oh, guys, what's up?
989
00:47:44,523 --> 00:47:47,526
Hey, guys, hey, guys.
990
00:47:47,559 --> 00:47:50,062
Honestly, guys, the thing that
I always wondered about is,
991
00:47:50,095 --> 00:47:52,765
like, if all these swags
are free for Bobby,
992
00:47:52,799 --> 00:47:55,400
then, like, how do they
know his size?
993
00:47:55,434 --> 00:47:57,169
Is it just me, or is it, like...
994
00:47:57,202 --> 00:47:58,671
It must be just
pure guessing game.
995
00:48:01,708 --> 00:48:03,442
Fucking dad's texting me.
996
00:48:03,475 --> 00:48:06,144
Fuck.
997
00:48:06,178 --> 00:48:08,280
Anyways, tonight's gonna be
crazy with, like, the gun
998
00:48:08,313 --> 00:48:10,817
and killing Jessie Adams,
and I might even wear this...
999
00:48:10,850 --> 00:48:13,318
Fuck.
1000
00:48:14,219 --> 00:48:16,555
Dad is texting me again.
1001
00:48:19,859 --> 00:48:23,295
Okay, this deadbeat is trying
to fuck up "The Lesson."
1002
00:48:23,328 --> 00:48:24,831
Jessie Adams' show
is in like two hours,
1003
00:48:24,864 --> 00:48:26,565
and this douche is texting me
1004
00:48:26,598 --> 00:48:28,635
and he wants me to go
to this deejay show with him.
1005
00:48:28,668 --> 00:48:30,269
Pbht!
1006
00:48:30,302 --> 00:48:33,605
DJ... DJ uNo.
1007
00:48:37,844 --> 00:48:40,479
Wait, you guys know who this is?
1008
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,216
What, you guys like DJ uNo?
1009
00:48:44,249 --> 00:48:46,786
Yeah dude. You stupid?
1010
00:48:46,819 --> 00:48:50,088
Take us to uNo
right fuckin now.
1011
00:48:52,224 --> 00:48:53,425
It's open.
1012
00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:55,127
It was open.
1013
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,495
Wasn't open.
1014
00:48:57,697 --> 00:48:58,731
Fucking late.
1015
00:49:00,399 --> 00:49:01,567
Hello, dude.
1016
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,770
Get in the car.
I'm in a hurry.
1017
00:49:03,803 --> 00:49:05,504
Plastic? Really?
1018
00:49:05,537 --> 00:49:06,673
Get in the car.
1019
00:49:06,706 --> 00:49:08,307
Such a rookie move.
1020
00:49:11,577 --> 00:49:13,111
Thanks for the ride.
1021
00:49:13,145 --> 00:49:15,547
You're really coming through
in the clutch.
1022
00:49:15,581 --> 00:49:18,483
Whoa, you're not gonna
let your dad
1023
00:49:18,517 --> 00:49:20,385
get his fucking
seat belt on, bro?
1024
00:49:20,419 --> 00:49:22,454
Sorry, we don't have time,
and I'm charging you.
1025
00:49:22,487 --> 00:49:24,590
Go on your Spree app
and request a ride.
1026
00:49:24,623 --> 00:49:27,225
- What?
- Do you think this is for free?
1027
00:49:27,259 --> 00:49:29,328
Seriously?
1028
00:49:29,361 --> 00:49:30,697
Can you imagine me charging you
1029
00:49:30,730 --> 00:49:33,231
for every meal
I fucking gave you?
1030
00:49:33,265 --> 00:49:34,901
I wonder what
that would account to.
1031
00:49:34,934 --> 00:49:36,501
One cheeseburger?
1032
00:49:36,535 --> 00:49:38,838
Because Mom pretty much
took care of everything.
1033
00:49:38,871 --> 00:49:40,840
Ohhh.
1034
00:49:40,873 --> 00:49:44,276
So you want to get into details
about me and your mother?
1035
00:49:44,309 --> 00:49:47,245
Because I got fucking details
1036
00:49:47,279 --> 00:49:49,782
we can get into
about me and your mother.
1037
00:49:52,952 --> 00:49:55,888
I like the fucking cameras
and the lights.
1038
00:49:56,823 --> 00:49:58,223
Action.
1039
00:49:59,524 --> 00:50:01,493
Do they change color?
1040
00:50:01,526 --> 00:50:02,561
No.
1041
00:50:02,594 --> 00:50:03,863
Well, they should.
1042
00:50:03,896 --> 00:50:05,330
Red light.
1043
00:50:05,364 --> 00:50:07,332
What the fuck?
1044
00:50:07,366 --> 00:50:09,802
What the fuck is that?
1045
00:50:09,836 --> 00:50:11,536
Dumbass.
1046
00:50:14,874 --> 00:50:15,908
Fuck this.
1047
00:50:15,942 --> 00:50:18,711
Hey, hey, hey, what the fuck?
1048
00:50:18,745 --> 00:50:20,212
What the fuck was that?
1049
00:50:20,245 --> 00:50:23,181
The BPAs, bro, they're not good.
1050
00:50:23,215 --> 00:50:26,551
The BPA from the plastic
seeps into the water.
1051
00:50:26,585 --> 00:50:29,756
You're gonna get fucking
estrogen in your testes.
1052
00:50:29,789 --> 00:50:33,626
I'm getting a lot of anti-BPA
activism on my networks.
1053
00:50:33,660 --> 00:50:35,594
- On your networks?
- Yeah, on my networks.
1054
00:50:35,628 --> 00:50:36,663
Oh.
1055
00:50:38,330 --> 00:50:40,499
Where's that mixtape
we made of those beats?
1056
00:50:40,532 --> 00:50:41,566
I don't know.
1057
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:44,503
What the fuck is this?!
1058
00:50:44,536 --> 00:50:45,738
It's a fucking gun.
1059
00:50:46,505 --> 00:50:49,474
Kurt, Kurt,
I told you about guns,
1060
00:50:49,508 --> 00:50:52,210
- me and guns, all my stories.
- I know.
1061
00:50:52,244 --> 00:50:54,981
I thought we were on the same
page about gun control, Kurt.
1062
00:50:55,014 --> 00:50:56,683
Listen, I have a gun, alright.
1063
00:50:56,716 --> 00:50:59,719
- I'm smart, unlike you, okay?
- That's crazy.
1064
00:50:59,752 --> 00:51:00,953
No, it's not crazy.
1065
00:51:00,987 --> 00:51:02,587
You're gonna fuckin'
kill yourself.
1066
00:51:02,621 --> 00:51:04,556
No, you don't know
what this job's like.
1067
00:51:04,589 --> 00:51:06,324
- Put that fucking gun away.
- You don't know... No.
1068
00:51:06,358 --> 00:51:08,995
You don't know what type
of thug or gangbanger
1069
00:51:09,028 --> 00:51:10,362
is gonna get
in the back of my car.
1070
00:51:10,395 --> 00:51:11,698
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt.
1071
00:51:11,731 --> 00:51:14,399
There's a police officer.
Put away your gun.
1072
00:51:14,433 --> 00:51:16,002
Put it down.
Put it down. Put it down.
1073
00:51:16,035 --> 00:51:17,737
It's my fucking gun.
I use it for safety.
1074
00:51:17,770 --> 00:51:18,805
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, the...
1075
00:51:20,372 --> 00:51:22,008
The police officer.
Oh, my God.
1076
00:51:25,377 --> 00:51:26,779
Ah.
1077
00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:31,851
Why do you have a gun?
1078
00:51:31,884 --> 00:51:33,552
What the fuck?
1079
00:51:33,585 --> 00:51:35,420
Another red light.
And a fucking gun.
1080
00:51:35,454 --> 00:51:38,825
Why are you fiending through
my shit anyway, you junkie?
1081
00:51:38,858 --> 00:51:40,793
Kurt, amigo.
1082
00:51:40,827 --> 00:51:44,229
Are you trying to downgrade
my confidence before my set?
1083
00:51:45,297 --> 00:51:48,400
Well, yeah, I found
your baggies today.
1084
00:51:48,433 --> 00:51:50,302
Wait, what?
1085
00:51:50,335 --> 00:51:52,905
Yeah, I was helping Mom
move some shit for the house.
1086
00:51:52,939 --> 00:51:55,041
And behind a dresser,
shoved in the wall,
1087
00:51:55,074 --> 00:51:56,508
there were your baggies.
1088
00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:57,877
Yeah, you must have been
so fucking high
1089
00:51:57,910 --> 00:51:59,544
that you put them there
and then you just,
1090
00:51:59,578 --> 00:52:01,413
I don't know,
must have forgotten.
1091
00:52:03,716 --> 00:52:05,584
Classic.
1092
00:52:05,617 --> 00:52:07,720
Come on, Kurt.
Can we just have some fun?
1093
00:52:07,754 --> 00:52:09,588
Some real fucking fun.
1094
00:52:09,621 --> 00:52:14,426
Not, like,
an unboxing tutorial video fun.
1095
00:52:14,459 --> 00:52:16,495
Real fun.
1096
00:52:16,528 --> 00:52:18,998
If you don't rock out with
your fucking cock out tonight,
1097
00:52:19,031 --> 00:52:22,769
uNo is never gonna
tag you on her socials, alright?
1098
00:52:22,802 --> 00:52:27,807
You better get
a personality pronto, dude.
1099
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,477
'Cause right now,
Kurt's World is fucking wack.
1100
00:52:33,112 --> 00:52:36,949
Yo, we're at Club Dirt,
calm before the storm.
1101
00:52:36,983 --> 00:52:38,751
Tell all your friends
get down here.
1102
00:52:38,785 --> 00:52:41,020
We got bottle service.
1103
00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:43,823
We got Winston
and Bernardo in the house.
1104
00:52:44,891 --> 00:52:46,092
Yeah.
1105
00:52:46,125 --> 00:52:48,795
Here he is.
Here's my boy.
1106
00:52:48,828 --> 00:52:50,696
What do you think?
It's nice, huh?
1107
00:52:50,730 --> 00:52:53,633
Uh, breaking news, Dad.
This is a strip club.
1108
00:52:53,666 --> 00:52:55,835
This is not a dance club.
1109
00:52:55,868 --> 00:52:57,770
Well, you know,
they gave me a residency.
1110
00:52:57,804 --> 00:53:01,107
Every other Friday, so I'm not
gonna look a gift in the mouth.
1111
00:53:01,140 --> 00:53:03,075
I don't care, Dad.
How about I'm clear?
1112
00:53:03,109 --> 00:53:05,678
This place feels sad to me.
1113
00:53:05,711 --> 00:53:08,547
Oh, yeah, all the empty poles.
1114
00:53:08,580 --> 00:53:11,050
- That's not what I mean.
- It is sad.
1115
00:53:11,083 --> 00:53:13,953
But it costs more
to get girls here.
1116
00:53:13,986 --> 00:53:15,520
It's gonna be fun.
Come on, bro.
1117
00:53:15,554 --> 00:53:16,789
St-Stop.
Where's uNo?
1118
00:53:20,092 --> 00:53:22,594
- Just be fucking cool.
- Brittany.
1119
00:53:22,628 --> 00:53:24,362
That is my hat.
1120
00:53:27,532 --> 00:53:29,367
You can't...
I don't think you...
1121
00:53:29,401 --> 00:53:32,437
Hey, uNo.
Hi.
1122
00:53:32,470 --> 00:53:33,538
Okay.
1123
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:43,749
"Follow me."
1124
00:53:43,783 --> 00:53:45,517
Her necklace says "Follow me."
1125
00:53:46,085 --> 00:53:47,552
Hey, uNo.
1126
00:53:47,586 --> 00:53:48,821
Thank you so much.
1127
00:53:48,855 --> 00:53:50,589
You know, Kris.
Remember?
1128
00:53:50,622 --> 00:53:52,557
This is my son, Kurt.
He's a big fan of yours.
1129
00:53:52,591 --> 00:53:53,793
What's up?
I'm a musician, too.
1130
00:53:53,826 --> 00:53:55,094
And I just also want
to say to you,
1131
00:53:55,127 --> 00:53:57,562
congratulations
on all your followers.
1132
00:53:57,596 --> 00:54:00,900
He'd love it if you
tagged him on your social.
1133
00:54:00,933 --> 00:54:02,702
- He's...
- Oh, no, no offense,
1134
00:54:02,735 --> 00:54:05,771
but I cannot do that on
the same night as a deejay set.
1135
00:54:05,805 --> 00:54:06,906
Oh, okay.
1136
00:54:06,939 --> 00:54:08,607
Sorry, bro. We tried.
1137
00:54:08,641 --> 00:54:10,810
- It was nice, though.
- Hey, listen, uNo.
1138
00:54:10,843 --> 00:54:14,579
Uh, influencer to influencer,
and I know it's a huge ask,
1139
00:54:14,613 --> 00:54:16,514
but if you could just, like,
pop me onto your story,
1140
00:54:16,548 --> 00:54:18,784
I got a huge audience
watching right now.
1141
00:54:18,818 --> 00:54:21,854
And everybody loves you,
and it would just be huge.
1142
00:54:21,888 --> 00:54:23,723
- You are live right now?
- I'm live.
1143
00:54:23,756 --> 00:54:25,624
I actually have a brand
that could go viral,
1144
00:54:25,658 --> 00:54:27,592
and you would really
push me over the edge.
1145
00:54:27,627 --> 00:54:28,928
- What do you think?
- Okay.
1146
00:54:28,961 --> 00:54:30,830
Yeah? You don't...
You don't mind?
1147
00:54:30,863 --> 00:54:32,597
What's your name?
1148
00:54:32,632 --> 00:54:35,067
It's KurtsWorld96.
1149
00:54:35,101 --> 00:54:38,570
Okay?
Say hi to everyone.
1150
00:54:38,603 --> 00:54:40,605
Hi.
1151
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:41,774
- Sick.
- Dope, dope.
1152
00:54:41,807 --> 00:54:43,876
Okay, 90...
1153
00:54:43,910 --> 00:54:46,712
96.
K-U-R-T-S-W-O-R-L-D.
1154
00:54:46,746 --> 00:54:48,580
- Got it, got it, got it.
- Okay.
1155
00:54:48,613 --> 00:54:49,581
- Got it.
- Yeah.
1156
00:54:49,614 --> 00:54:51,117
Kurt got got.
1157
00:54:51,150 --> 00:54:53,618
And just to let you know, uNo,
I still haven't gotten...
1158
00:54:53,653 --> 00:54:56,554
Hey, why is the Club Dirt
so empty?
1159
00:54:56,588 --> 00:54:58,724
The promoter's
not working hard enough?
1160
00:54:58,758 --> 00:55:00,558
Oh, no, no, no, no.
1161
00:55:00,592 --> 00:55:02,995
They'll start coming in
about halfway through my set.
1162
00:55:03,029 --> 00:55:05,665
They just...
They come out late sometimes.
1163
00:55:05,698 --> 00:55:07,066
- You know.
- Yeah.
1164
00:55:07,099 --> 00:55:09,235
But there'll be
plenty of people for you.
1165
00:55:09,268 --> 00:55:12,038
And I still haven't gotten
that notification quite yet.
1166
00:55:12,071 --> 00:55:14,640
So when that goes through,
though, I will let you know.
1167
00:55:14,674 --> 00:55:16,876
It's alright.
You tried, bro.
1168
00:55:19,779 --> 00:55:22,248
She ain't gonna tag u bro.
She lyin. LUL.
1169
00:55:22,281 --> 00:55:23,883
How do you like Los Angeles?
1170
00:55:23,916 --> 00:55:25,685
Yeah, it's good.
1171
00:55:25,718 --> 00:55:27,653
Do you know where is taco truck?
1172
00:55:27,687 --> 00:55:29,755
Honestly, you guys?
1173
00:55:29,789 --> 00:55:32,590
You guys fucking suck,
and I predicted this.
1174
00:55:32,624 --> 00:55:35,261
- Oh, come on, Kurt. Sorry
- Have a good night, honestly.
1175
00:55:35,294 --> 00:55:38,130
You guys don't know how much...
important this day is to me.
1176
00:55:38,164 --> 00:55:39,899
I don't know what to say, guys.
1177
00:55:39,932 --> 00:55:42,001
Bobby cam is canceled
because it was not lucky to me.
1178
00:55:42,034 --> 00:55:45,871
And honestly,
you guys led me astray.
1179
00:55:45,905 --> 00:55:48,207
Let's just move on.
I'm not angry at anybody.
1180
00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:49,275
I don't have to harbor a...
1181
00:55:52,878 --> 00:55:54,847
uNo?
1182
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,083
Oh, do you know
where something is?
1183
00:55:57,116 --> 00:55:58,985
Uh, do I know
where something is?
1184
00:55:59,018 --> 00:56:01,287
Oh, you know
Los Angeles taco truck?
1185
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,189
There... There's a lot of
taco trucks in Los Angeles.
1186
00:56:03,222 --> 00:56:06,892
Okay, take me
to L.A. taco truck.
1187
00:56:06,926 --> 00:56:08,861
- And I will tag you, really.
- What time...
1188
00:56:08,894 --> 00:56:10,796
I'm kind of in a hurry?
What time is it?
1189
00:56:10,830 --> 00:56:12,530
I don't know.
1190
00:56:12,564 --> 00:56:14,734
- I mean, what do you...
- Okay, I'm in a hurry, too.
1191
00:56:14,767 --> 00:56:17,569
Need to take pictures
at L.A. taco truck.
1192
00:56:24,777 --> 00:56:27,079
- Okay, are we good?
- No.
1193
00:56:31,050 --> 00:56:33,019
Okay.
1194
00:56:34,020 --> 00:56:35,988
Alright, cool.
1195
00:56:36,022 --> 00:56:38,024
Great.
Okay, want to get some food?
1196
00:56:38,057 --> 00:56:40,192
- Yeah.
- Okay.
1197
00:56:40,826 --> 00:56:43,929
Well, hey, what are you doing?
1198
00:56:46,198 --> 00:56:47,867
You don't want to come?
1199
00:56:47,900 --> 00:56:50,803
I don't want to wait line.
You go.
1200
00:56:50,836 --> 00:56:52,805
Me? Okay.
1201
00:56:52,838 --> 00:56:54,206
What do you want?
1202
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:56,574
Just, like, a...
like, a carne asada burrito?
1203
00:56:56,608 --> 00:56:59,011
Get me most famous.
1204
00:56:59,879 --> 00:57:01,714
What does that mean?
Like, nachos or...
1205
00:57:01,747 --> 00:57:03,015
Get me most famous.
1206
00:57:03,049 --> 00:57:04,316
Okay, then you're gonna
tag me, right?
1207
00:57:04,350 --> 00:57:06,052
You're gonna tag me after that?
1208
00:57:06,085 --> 00:57:08,654
- Yes, I already make a promise.
- Okay, I know.
1209
00:57:08,687 --> 00:57:10,956
I'm just checking because
you can't always count...
1210
00:57:10,990 --> 00:57:12,324
I told...
1211
00:57:19,765 --> 00:57:22,001
Hey, I'm... I'm sorry.
Hey, do you know...
1212
00:57:22,034 --> 00:57:24,970
do you know what, like...
what's the thing to get?
1213
00:57:25,004 --> 00:57:26,639
I'm not sure.
It's my first time.
1214
00:57:26,672 --> 00:57:28,841
Okay, yeah.
Me too, me too.
1215
00:57:28,874 --> 00:57:30,676
Yeah. It's... Yeah, I heard...
1216
00:57:30,709 --> 00:57:34,713
But I've heard the carne asada
fries frigging slap.
1217
00:57:36,348 --> 00:57:39,318
You want...
Say something.
1218
00:57:40,186 --> 00:57:43,889
You got a lot of people looking
at the back of your head.
1219
00:57:45,658 --> 00:57:48,327
Hey, everyone,
my name's Daisy, and I'm 23.
1220
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,930
Whoa. I'm 23.
That's crazy.
1221
00:57:50,963 --> 00:57:53,265
That's, like...
That's, like, fate, right.
1222
00:57:53,299 --> 00:57:55,334
- So you're a streamer?
- Bull's-eye, yeah.
1223
00:57:55,367 --> 00:57:57,703
I'm actually...
I'm here with a deejay.
1224
00:57:57,736 --> 00:58:00,106
A Korean...
Yeah, she's a Korean deejay.
1225
00:58:00,139 --> 00:58:01,373
- Where?
- She's in the car.
1226
00:58:01,407 --> 00:58:02,775
She just keeps it
on the down-low.
1227
00:58:02,808 --> 00:58:04,043
She's famous.
1228
00:58:04,076 --> 00:58:06,278
She actually got famous
from a sex tape.
1229
00:58:06,312 --> 00:58:08,647
But, yeah, it's like...
it's like I have experience.
1230
00:58:08,681 --> 00:58:11,717
Like, I've... Like, I've done
some, like, sex tapes myself.
1231
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:13,385
And it's like when
I put them out there,
1232
00:58:13,419 --> 00:58:14,920
I always feel like
I have a real, like,
1233
00:58:14,954 --> 00:58:16,388
huge boom in my numbers.
1234
00:58:16,422 --> 00:58:18,390
It's like I could, like,
make a sex tape at any time.
1235
00:58:18,424 --> 00:58:21,026
I could feel like
I'm making a sex tape tonight.
1236
00:58:22,928 --> 00:58:24,330
You get what I'm saying?
1237
00:58:24,363 --> 00:58:25,998
I'm just gonna go.
1238
00:58:26,031 --> 00:58:27,433
Okay, yeah, that's cool.
1239
00:58:27,466 --> 00:58:30,669
Hi.
One carne asada burrito, please.
1240
00:58:30,703 --> 00:58:32,104
- $4.25.
- Also, like, if...
1241
00:58:32,138 --> 00:58:33,839
if you want to hang
at the Jessie Adams show,
1242
00:58:33,873 --> 00:58:37,943
like, you... you know...
you know who's gonna be there.
1243
00:58:37,977 --> 00:58:40,379
- You... You are?
- Yeah.
1244
00:58:40,412 --> 00:58:42,848
Fuck Daisy right now!
1245
00:58:42,882 --> 00:58:44,049
Kurt's World.
1246
00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:45,684
Thank you.
Muchas gracias.
1247
00:58:45,718 --> 00:58:47,319
- Alright.
- Think about it.
1248
00:58:47,353 --> 00:58:48,888
- Have fun at the show.
- Yeah, see you later.
1249
00:58:48,921 --> 00:58:51,257
Okay, bye-bye.
Kurt's World.
1250
00:58:51,290 --> 00:58:54,760
Hey, four tacos with each meat.
1251
00:58:54,793 --> 00:58:57,129
And then the carne asada fries,
please.
1252
00:58:57,163 --> 00:58:58,931
- Ahh!
- How many fries?
1253
00:58:58,964 --> 00:59:00,199
Just one.
Thank you.
1254
00:59:01,867 --> 00:59:03,469
Ahh.
1255
00:59:03,502 --> 00:59:05,437
I'm gonna drink some of this.
1256
00:59:12,778 --> 00:59:16,081
You're the worst streamer
of all time.
1257
00:59:17,783 --> 00:59:19,385
Alright, get... get in the...
1258
00:59:43,209 --> 00:59:45,244
Fuck's this guy doing?
1259
00:59:45,277 --> 00:59:47,346
Friday nights.
You got to love them.
1260
00:59:47,379 --> 00:59:49,848
Hi. What's up guys?
1261
00:59:49,882 --> 00:59:51,350
It's... It's Kurt.
1262
00:59:52,885 --> 00:59:55,154
Welcome to Kurt's World.
1263
00:59:55,187 --> 00:59:58,424
- Want to check it out?
- Yeah.
1264
00:59:58,457 --> 01:00:00,826
uNo asked me to do a takeover.
1265
01:00:00,859 --> 01:00:02,194
So that's what's up.
1266
01:00:09,335 --> 01:00:11,870
- Hey, can I help you, Officer?
- Yeah, everything alright today?
1267
01:00:11,904 --> 01:00:14,540
- Uh, we've seen better nights.
- Mm-hmm.
1268
01:00:14,573 --> 01:00:16,442
My girlfriend, she had
a little bit too much to drink.
1269
01:00:16,475 --> 01:00:19,044
I pulled over.
It's not a big deal.
1270
01:00:19,078 --> 01:00:20,879
She's okay, you know.
1271
01:00:20,913 --> 01:00:23,115
I'm just giving her some food,
sober her up, get her home.
1272
01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:25,017
License
and registration, please.
1273
01:00:25,050 --> 01:00:26,819
Of course. Uh...
1274
01:00:30,022 --> 01:00:32,758
- She's just sleeping.
- Mm-hmm.
1275
01:00:33,559 --> 01:00:35,027
You a Spree driver?
1276
01:00:35,060 --> 01:00:37,029
Uh, yeah, yeah.
1277
01:00:37,062 --> 01:00:39,465
Uh, yeah, not...
not tonight, though.
1278
01:00:39,498 --> 01:00:42,401
No, no, I'm just hanging...
just hanging with my girl, yeah.
1279
01:00:42,434 --> 01:00:44,503
But you have driven today?
1280
01:00:45,537 --> 01:00:48,140
No, I-I don't...
I don't work on weekends.
1281
01:00:48,173 --> 01:00:51,410
Friday's
a weekday, last I checked.
1282
01:00:51,443 --> 01:00:54,179
Alright, Kurt, can I have you
step out the car slowly
1283
01:00:54,213 --> 01:00:55,981
and show us both
your hands, please?
1284
01:00:56,015 --> 01:00:58,450
- Is that necessary?
- Yes, sir, it is.
1285
01:00:58,484 --> 01:01:00,319
Kurt, please step
out the car, please.
1286
01:01:02,187 --> 01:01:05,057
Okay, that's not good, buddy.
1287
01:01:05,090 --> 01:01:06,992
I just close it?
1288
01:01:07,026 --> 01:01:08,494
Yeah, go ahead.
1289
01:01:08,527 --> 01:01:10,462
Just go ahead and stand
in front of the car.
1290
01:01:10,496 --> 01:01:12,298
- Sorry.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.
1291
01:01:12,331 --> 01:01:14,133
We're gonna do
a standard sobriety test here.
1292
01:01:14,166 --> 01:01:16,435
So I'm gonna need you
to stand with your feet together
1293
01:01:16,468 --> 01:01:18,237
and your arms to your side
like this, please.
1294
01:01:18,270 --> 01:01:20,973
And when we start, I'm gonna
ask you to lift your right foot,
1295
01:01:21,006 --> 01:01:22,474
point your toe,
and count like this.
1296
01:01:22,508 --> 01:01:24,209
One, one thousand,
two, one thousand,
1297
01:01:24,243 --> 01:01:25,878
three, one thousand,
four, one thousand.
1298
01:01:25,911 --> 01:01:28,414
- Alright?
- Let's go, buddy.
1299
01:01:28,447 --> 01:01:30,582
One, one thousand,
two, one thousand,
1300
01:01:30,616 --> 01:01:32,251
three, one thousand,
1301
01:01:32,284 --> 01:01:34,420
four... four, one thousand,
five, one thousand.
1302
01:01:34,453 --> 01:01:36,255
Should we make him
touch his nose?
1303
01:01:36,288 --> 01:01:37,356
- Jake, shut up.
- Seven, one thousand,
1304
01:01:37,389 --> 01:01:38,590
eight, one thousand.
1305
01:01:38,624 --> 01:01:40,993
Hey, your girlfriend's
pretty hot.
1306
01:01:41,026 --> 01:01:43,062
Eleven, one thousand.
1307
01:01:43,095 --> 01:01:45,431
- She's awake now.
- What the fu...
1308
01:01:46,666 --> 01:01:48,934
Jesus fucking Christ.
1309
01:01:53,972 --> 01:01:57,009
Officer down.
I need backup.
1310
01:02:01,113 --> 01:02:02,514
Thank you, God.
1311
01:02:07,654 --> 01:02:11,290
Any units in the vicinity
of 105 westbound at Inglewood.
1312
01:02:18,397 --> 01:02:20,265
Oh, fuck.
1313
01:02:26,171 --> 01:02:27,906
Whoa.
1314
01:02:27,940 --> 01:02:29,508
Whoa.
1315
01:02:34,647 --> 01:02:36,515
- What is he doing?
- Tell me you got that.
1316
01:02:36,548 --> 01:02:38,283
- I got that. I got that.
- Did you get that?
1317
01:02:38,317 --> 01:02:40,586
If you guys had told me
that this is what "The Lesson"
1318
01:02:40,619 --> 01:02:42,221
would be like before,
I would have n...
1319
01:02:42,254 --> 01:02:44,089
I could have never
believed that.
1320
01:02:44,123 --> 01:02:46,191
This is crazy.
1321
01:02:59,004 --> 01:03:01,173
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa.
1322
01:03:02,508 --> 01:03:04,510
I got to lose these cops.
1323
01:03:19,759 --> 01:03:22,729
Do... Are you seeing
all these homeless people?
1324
01:03:22,762 --> 01:03:23,962
It's pathetic.
1325
01:03:26,031 --> 01:03:28,534
Zero social-media presence.
1326
01:03:28,567 --> 01:03:30,602
They don't even care
that the whole world
1327
01:03:30,637 --> 01:03:32,538
doesn't even know
that they exist.
1328
01:03:32,571 --> 01:03:34,373
If I ran over their tent
and killed them all,
1329
01:03:34,406 --> 01:03:36,141
no one would even care
right now.
1330
01:03:37,309 --> 01:03:38,544
Yes.
1331
01:03:38,577 --> 01:03:40,112
Cops can't stop me.
1332
01:03:40,145 --> 01:03:41,480
Dad can't stop me.
1333
01:03:41,513 --> 01:03:42,715
Mom can't stop me.
1334
01:03:42,749 --> 01:03:44,082
Bobby can't stop me.
1335
01:03:44,116 --> 01:03:46,051
The homeless can't stop me.
1336
01:03:46,084 --> 01:03:47,352
What's up?
1337
01:03:47,386 --> 01:03:50,155
Guys, I'm starting
to feel unstoppable.
1338
01:04:03,469 --> 01:04:06,338
Pumpkin emoji, pumpkin emoji,
pumpkin emoji.
1339
01:04:06,371 --> 01:04:07,740
Birthday hat emoji.
1340
01:04:07,774 --> 01:04:09,541
I just think...
I think it's all fucking...
1341
01:04:09,575 --> 01:04:12,244
I this it's like... I think
parents are doing it on purpose.
1342
01:04:12,277 --> 01:04:13,612
You have to call them.
1343
01:04:13,646 --> 01:04:15,447
You have to call them
to figure it out.
1344
01:04:15,481 --> 01:04:17,650
That's what they're... It's like
all they want is a phone call.
1345
01:04:17,684 --> 01:04:20,720
So they send you these weird-ass
coded text messages.
1346
01:04:20,753 --> 01:04:24,022
It's like, "You're getting
the phone call, Mom."
1347
01:04:28,661 --> 01:04:31,396
Fucking porn is crazy.
1348
01:04:31,430 --> 01:04:33,465
You know, I always
think about, like,
1349
01:04:33,499 --> 01:04:36,769
who are these people who are,
like, commenting on porn?
1350
01:04:36,803 --> 01:04:38,638
Do you know what I mean?
1351
01:04:38,671 --> 01:04:41,306
Like, they've got to, like,
fucking, like, sign up
1352
01:04:41,340 --> 01:04:43,609
to be like, "Who's she?
1353
01:04:43,643 --> 01:04:46,378
Where is this place?
I like this apartment."
1354
01:04:46,411 --> 01:04:50,650
I think it's bad that I fucking
beat off to this shit so much.
1355
01:04:50,683 --> 01:04:54,419
But I don't have a profile.
It's just porn.
1356
01:04:56,588 --> 01:04:58,023
Where's Jessie?
1357
01:04:59,324 --> 01:05:01,728
Alright, well, I guess
that's enough about me.
1358
01:05:01,761 --> 01:05:03,630
All eyes on me!
1359
01:05:03,663 --> 01:05:07,634
What do you say we bring up our
final performer of the night?
1360
01:05:10,569 --> 01:05:12,204
You know her.
1361
01:05:12,237 --> 01:05:14,807
Her holiness of hashtags.
1362
01:05:14,841 --> 01:05:18,110
The reaper of reposts.
1363
01:05:18,143 --> 01:05:20,579
The queen of all social media.
1364
01:05:20,612 --> 01:05:23,515
She's the reason you guys
bought your tickets
1365
01:05:23,549 --> 01:05:25,584
three weeks in advance,
I'm sure.
1366
01:05:25,617 --> 01:05:29,154
Please welcome the amazing,
1367
01:05:29,187 --> 01:05:33,660
the sexy, the hilarious
Jessie fucking Adams.
1368
01:05:33,693 --> 01:05:34,761
Give it up.
1369
01:05:41,634 --> 01:05:43,670
Hello, everyone.
1370
01:05:45,203 --> 01:05:48,240
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, Miles.
1371
01:05:48,273 --> 01:05:50,108
Wow, what you lack
in personality
1372
01:05:50,142 --> 01:05:51,744
you really make up for in puns.
1373
01:05:53,178 --> 01:05:55,715
Give it up for white guys, huh?
1374
01:05:55,748 --> 01:05:58,150
Yeah.
1375
01:05:58,183 --> 01:05:59,518
Can't live with them,
1376
01:05:59,551 --> 01:06:02,588
and, well, there they are
all over the place.
1377
01:06:02,621 --> 01:06:05,792
I'm so glad you think I'm
hilarious
and sexy, Miles.
1378
01:06:05,825 --> 01:06:08,293
Thank you. That means a lot
coming from a guy
1379
01:06:08,327 --> 01:06:11,430
whose ideal woman
is a hentai body pillow.
1380
01:06:13,198 --> 01:06:16,268
Let's redirect back to me.
This is my show.
1381
01:06:16,301 --> 01:06:19,471
And I am the real Jessie Adams.
1382
01:06:21,506 --> 01:06:25,177
We got the Joke Bros
in the house from Chicago.
1383
01:06:25,210 --> 01:06:27,179
Hell, yeah.
1384
01:06:28,213 --> 01:06:32,217
Yeah, we're going out live to
a million neck beards right now.
1385
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:35,722
Wow, such a big show,
so many eyeballs.
1386
01:06:35,755 --> 01:06:37,824
I should probably
play it safe, right?
1387
01:06:37,857 --> 01:06:39,324
- No.
- No?
1388
01:06:39,358 --> 01:06:41,360
You don't want me
to play it safe?
1389
01:06:41,393 --> 01:06:45,364
I mean, why would I?
I am the real Jessie Adams.
1390
01:06:46,264 --> 01:06:48,868
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
1391
01:06:48,901 --> 01:06:51,570
All eyes on me.
I want to be seen.
1392
01:06:51,603 --> 01:06:53,840
All eyes on me
I want to be seen.
1393
01:06:53,873 --> 01:06:56,843
I said, all eyes on me
I want to be seen.
1394
01:06:56,876 --> 01:06:58,878
All eyes on me
I want to be seen.
1395
01:06:58,911 --> 01:07:01,748
Great. Get your phones
out like we do every time.
1396
01:07:01,781 --> 01:07:03,650
This is our favorite part,
right?
1397
01:07:03,683 --> 01:07:07,419
You trying to see me?
You trying to see me?
1398
01:07:08,286 --> 01:07:10,522
You got me in focus?
1399
01:07:10,555 --> 01:07:12,557
You got me in that good light?
1400
01:07:12,591 --> 01:07:13,693
I got you.
1401
01:07:13,726 --> 01:07:14,961
Do I look good?
1402
01:07:14,994 --> 01:07:17,229
Thank you, baby.
1403
01:07:17,262 --> 01:07:18,931
So if you follow me
on social media,
1404
01:07:18,965 --> 01:07:21,466
you probably know I had to
put some skeezy bozo
1405
01:07:21,500 --> 01:07:23,903
in his place
during a Spree ride today.
1406
01:07:23,936 --> 01:07:25,270
He was the one who was all like,
1407
01:07:25,303 --> 01:07:26,939
"Come on, girl,
give me a smile."
1408
01:07:26,973 --> 01:07:30,375
Ugh. I mean, that's not breaking
news to any woman in this room.
1409
01:07:30,409 --> 01:07:31,778
We go through that every day.
1410
01:07:31,811 --> 01:07:34,212
- Fuck that guy.
- Right? Fuck that guy.
1411
01:07:34,246 --> 01:07:36,916
He was a date-rape drug
in a person.
1412
01:07:38,617 --> 01:07:42,621
And I was angry at this guy,
but then I got sad.
1413
01:07:42,655 --> 01:07:45,958
Because of the driver,
the Spree driver.
1414
01:07:45,992 --> 01:07:49,662
He was all like, "How'd you get
such a big following?
1415
01:07:49,696 --> 01:07:52,330
We should share tips."
1416
01:07:52,364 --> 01:07:54,466
And then he was kind of, like,
soft begging,
1417
01:07:54,499 --> 01:07:57,469
like, "Oh, please, Lord,
tag me."
1418
01:07:57,502 --> 01:08:01,440
And it was so sad and pathetic.
1419
01:08:01,473 --> 01:08:05,510
And it was just like me.
1420
01:08:05,544 --> 01:08:08,748
I went to my granny's house
after, my... my safe place,
1421
01:08:08,781 --> 01:08:10,717
like, my pre-show sanctuary.
1422
01:08:10,750 --> 01:08:13,518
And I could not shake that ride.
Like, I was so pissed.
1423
01:08:13,552 --> 01:08:14,921
And I was thinking
about that guy
1424
01:08:14,954 --> 01:08:16,723
and that "please tag me" energy.
1425
01:08:16,756 --> 01:08:19,659
And I was like, "Ugh,
God, that was pure me."
1426
01:08:19,692 --> 01:08:22,795
Like, he was me.
I've done that shit before.
1427
01:08:22,829 --> 01:08:25,297
And then I just, like,
reckoned with myself.
1428
01:08:25,330 --> 01:08:27,767
For the last two years, I've
been saying, "All eyes on me."
1429
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:31,804
Now I finally have what I want,
and I am creeped the fuck out.
1430
01:08:31,838 --> 01:08:33,639
I'm serious.
1431
01:08:33,673 --> 01:08:36,408
It's like whether you have
20 million followers
1432
01:08:36,441 --> 01:08:40,680
or 20 followers, we're all being
watched and judged and hated.
1433
01:08:40,713 --> 01:08:42,447
And you love it, you love it.
1434
01:08:42,481 --> 01:08:44,549
You need it.
You're all addicted to it.
1435
01:08:44,583 --> 01:08:45,918
And you're addicted
to other people.
1436
01:08:45,952 --> 01:08:47,519
You're not doing you.
1437
01:08:47,552 --> 01:08:49,621
You're doing somebody else
for somebody else.
1438
01:08:49,655 --> 01:08:51,991
How are we supposed to know
who we are as people
1439
01:08:52,024 --> 01:08:54,026
if we're just
hamming it up all the time?
1440
01:08:55,795 --> 01:08:58,698
Okay, I can read the energy.
1441
01:08:58,731 --> 01:09:01,734
It's very quiet in this room.
I can hear a long-held fart.
1442
01:09:02,702 --> 01:09:06,038
And I'm sure you're like,
"Jessie, why so serious?
1443
01:09:06,072 --> 01:09:07,506
Where are the jokes?"
1444
01:09:07,539 --> 01:09:09,307
We're living in it.
1445
01:09:09,341 --> 01:09:12,611
You, me, that Spree driver,
we're all punking ourselves.
1446
01:09:12,645 --> 01:09:14,579
And that's why
when I wake up tomorrow,
1447
01:09:14,613 --> 01:09:15,614
I'm going cold turkey.
1448
01:09:15,648 --> 01:09:17,382
No more social media for me.
1449
01:09:17,415 --> 01:09:18,951
Okay.
1450
01:09:18,985 --> 01:09:21,453
Those are the devils on my
shoulder trying to hold me down.
1451
01:09:21,486 --> 01:09:24,489
Do we have any angels
in the house?
1452
01:09:24,523 --> 01:09:27,325
Do I have any angels
in the house?
1453
01:09:27,359 --> 01:09:30,029
So you ready for your log-off?
1454
01:09:30,062 --> 01:09:33,565
-
#KurtMegaFail.
- You want me to smash this shit?
1455
01:09:33,598 --> 01:09:35,534
You ready?
Are you ready for this?
1456
01:09:35,567 --> 01:09:38,603
Okay, all eyes on this, bitch!
1457
01:09:40,039 --> 01:09:41,506
Yeah!
1458
01:09:54,854 --> 01:09:57,824
Hell, yeah, Jessie.
1459
01:09:57,857 --> 01:10:00,559
That was crazy cool.
I got all that shit.
1460
01:10:00,592 --> 01:10:02,061
That was tight.
1461
01:10:02,094 --> 01:10:03,428
Miles, get out of my face.
1462
01:10:03,461 --> 01:10:04,462
Hey, come on.
1463
01:10:04,496 --> 01:10:06,598
This is a historical moment.
1464
01:10:06,632 --> 01:10:09,035
Jessie Adams off social media.
I got to document this.
1465
01:10:09,068 --> 01:10:11,003
Why don't you pay me on time?
That would be historic.
1466
01:10:11,037 --> 01:10:12,705
I hooked us up.
Joke Bros, baby.
1467
01:10:12,738 --> 01:10:14,573
- God.
- Joke Bros in here.
1468
01:10:14,606 --> 01:10:18,110
Miles Manderville.
Jessie motherfucking Adams.
1469
01:10:18,144 --> 01:10:19,679
- That...
- I got to get some air.
1470
01:10:19,712 --> 01:10:22,648
- Get the fuck out of my way.
- Okay. Jesus.
1471
01:10:22,682 --> 01:10:25,450
We're in this!
Fuck, yeah!
1472
01:10:52,945 --> 01:10:54,546
Are you Kurt?
1473
01:10:54,579 --> 01:10:56,115
I'm Kurt.
That's me.
1474
01:10:56,148 --> 01:10:57,549
Okay.
1475
01:10:58,450 --> 01:10:59,752
Yeah, that's me.
1476
01:10:59,785 --> 01:11:01,553
Don't you recognize my name?
Kurt Kunkle?
1477
01:11:01,586 --> 01:11:03,022
I just want to say
I've known Jessie
1478
01:11:03,055 --> 01:11:04,190
for, like, over five years,
1479
01:11:04,223 --> 01:11:05,658
and she has always
been killing it.
1480
01:11:05,691 --> 01:11:07,059
This is not a sur...
Come on.
1481
01:11:07,093 --> 01:11:08,961
You still fixated
on that 700 bucks?
1482
01:11:08,995 --> 01:11:10,462
- Come on, Jessie.
- Fixated?
1483
01:11:10,495 --> 01:11:11,998
You owe me 700 bucks.
1484
01:11:12,031 --> 01:11:13,666
- And put the fucking phone down.
- Do you have any idea
1485
01:11:13,699 --> 01:11:15,467
how many people
are watching this, Jessie?
1486
01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:16,669
I'm not gonna
lose this audience.
1487
01:11:16,702 --> 01:11:18,436
What's up, people?
1488
01:11:21,674 --> 01:11:23,843
Do sumthin.
1489
01:11:26,112 --> 01:11:28,580
You got a dash cam
and everything, huh?
1490
01:11:28,613 --> 01:11:31,616
Yes.
You can never be too safe.
1491
01:11:46,032 --> 01:11:47,833
Yeah, I got one, too.
1492
01:11:48,901 --> 01:11:50,836
Come on, we should be
fucking celebrating.
1493
01:11:50,870 --> 01:11:52,638
Celebrating what?
1494
01:11:52,672 --> 01:11:55,675
The... The fact that
your set is gonna go viral.
1495
01:11:55,708 --> 01:11:58,576
All the right people
saw that, Jessie.
1496
01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:00,112
You're made.
I would...
1497
01:12:00,146 --> 01:12:02,480
I would... I would kill
for that, Jessie.
1498
01:12:02,514 --> 01:12:05,151
Honestly, that was...
that was crazy.
1499
01:12:05,184 --> 01:12:08,154
- Let me buy you a drink.
- Fine.
1500
01:12:09,822 --> 01:12:11,724
Pretty fucking cool, right?
1501
01:12:11,757 --> 01:12:13,259
Okay, just so you know,
1502
01:12:13,292 --> 01:12:15,995
I'm not the crazy driver
driving around tonight.
1503
01:12:29,607 --> 01:12:30,943
I know.
1504
01:12:32,845 --> 01:12:34,680
Dang, Jessie, you're
getting a little drunk.
1505
01:12:34,714 --> 01:12:37,515
- Can I take you home?
- No. Just order me a Spree.
1506
01:12:37,549 --> 01:12:38,751
No doubt.
1507
01:12:38,784 --> 01:12:41,821
Uh, weird.
Spree's down.
1508
01:12:41,854 --> 01:12:44,123
You know I could just give you
a ride in my car, right?
1509
01:12:44,156 --> 01:12:46,258
Oh, my God, no.
You're too drunk to drive.
1510
01:12:46,292 --> 01:12:47,960
You're not killing me
in your death trap.
1511
01:12:47,994 --> 01:12:49,962
- It's not like that.
- Just order us a GoGo.
1512
01:12:49,996 --> 01:12:51,931
- Order us? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1513
01:12:51,964 --> 01:12:53,699
We go... We going to...
We going to my place?
1514
01:12:53,733 --> 01:12:56,135
- Or what's happening here?
- No, go to my place.
1515
01:12:56,168 --> 01:12:58,004
Oh, damn, okay.
1516
01:12:58,037 --> 01:13:00,272
Uh, alright, yeah.
1517
01:13:00,306 --> 01:13:03,009
Get a GoGo for sure.
1518
01:13:03,042 --> 01:13:06,812
Sweet. Yeah, there's one...
there's one down the block.
1519
01:13:06,846 --> 01:13:08,014
What kind of car is it?
1520
01:13:08,047 --> 01:13:10,216
It's a white coupe.
1521
01:13:10,249 --> 01:13:11,984
Okay, cool.
1522
01:13:12,018 --> 01:13:14,186
Alright, cool.
Alright.
1523
01:13:14,220 --> 01:13:16,088
Give me... Give me one second.
1524
01:13:16,122 --> 01:13:18,824
I'm live-streaming all night,
by the way, folks.
1525
01:13:18,858 --> 01:13:20,626
- Alright.
- Okay.
1526
01:13:22,161 --> 01:13:24,330
- What's up, Miles?
- Nice one, Miles.
1527
01:13:24,363 --> 01:13:26,098
Hey, what's up?
Hey, yo, hey, Je...
1528
01:13:26,132 --> 01:13:27,733
Excuse me.
Hey, Jessie, wait up.
1529
01:13:28,801 --> 01:13:30,336
Jessie!
1530
01:13:30,369 --> 01:13:33,105
- Jessie, wait up!
- Drive, drive, drive.
1531
01:13:33,139 --> 01:13:35,808
Oh, sucks.
1532
01:13:35,841 --> 01:13:37,877
- Nice one, Miles.
- Fuck you.
1533
01:13:44,884 --> 01:13:46,719
Wait, what address
did he give you?
1534
01:13:46,752 --> 01:13:48,654
375 South Hobart.
1535
01:13:48,687 --> 01:13:50,756
- Okay, good.
- Good.
1536
01:13:56,695 --> 01:13:58,798
Hey.
1537
01:13:58,831 --> 01:13:59,899
Hey.
1538
01:14:01,767 --> 01:14:03,769
Hey.
1539
01:14:03,803 --> 01:14:05,971
What, man?
I'm about to pass out.
1540
01:14:07,106 --> 01:14:10,176
I liked your set tonight.
It was... It was inspirational.
1541
01:14:10,910 --> 01:14:12,078
- You saw it?
- Hell, yeah.
1542
01:14:12,111 --> 01:14:13,979
I was there.
It was awesome.
1543
01:14:14,013 --> 01:14:15,915
Jessie, I think
you're actually a genius.
1544
01:14:15,948 --> 01:14:17,683
Thanks, man.
1545
01:14:17,716 --> 01:14:19,718
I'm so glad you didn't take
that water bottle earlier.
1546
01:14:19,752 --> 01:14:20,953
That would have been...
1547
01:14:21,921 --> 01:14:23,222
What water?
1548
01:14:24,356 --> 01:14:27,159
The water from earlier.
Seat pouch.
1549
01:14:27,193 --> 01:14:28,794
Left side.
1550
01:14:30,930 --> 01:14:33,265
Wait Ku... Kurtis?
1551
01:14:34,900 --> 01:14:36,168
Try again.
1552
01:14:37,837 --> 01:14:39,105
- Kurtis?
- Kurt.
1553
01:14:39,138 --> 01:14:41,407
- Kurt.
- Kurt's World, remember?
1554
01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:43,342
- Squirt's World, yeah, yeah.
- Follow me.
1555
01:14:43,375 --> 01:14:45,177
KurtsWorld96.
1556
01:14:45,211 --> 01:14:46,679
Uh...
1557
01:14:47,913 --> 01:14:49,882
- Okay, this is really weird.
- Yeah.
1558
01:14:49,915 --> 01:14:52,084
Isn't this weird?
I know. It's amazing.
1559
01:14:52,118 --> 01:14:54,954
I just, like... I pick you up
today, and then I go online.
1560
01:14:54,987 --> 01:14:57,823
I buy a ticket to support you,
and it's like,
1561
01:14:57,857 --> 01:14:59,325
what are the odds?
1562
01:15:00,759 --> 01:15:04,263
I mean, uh, okay.
1563
01:15:04,296 --> 01:15:06,165
- Thanks for your support.
- Totally.
1564
01:15:06,198 --> 01:15:07,967
Uh...
1565
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,268
Did you like the set?
1566
01:15:09,301 --> 01:15:11,303
I didn't mean to rag on you
that hard.
1567
01:15:11,337 --> 01:15:12,938
- Rag on me?
- Yeah.
1568
01:15:12,972 --> 01:15:14,406
Sticks and stones, Jessie Adams.
1569
01:15:14,440 --> 01:15:16,375
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm fine. I liked it.
1570
01:15:16,408 --> 01:15:17,843
I liked all what you did.
1571
01:15:17,877 --> 01:15:20,146
Because when you were
talking up there,
1572
01:15:20,179 --> 01:15:23,182
I realized inside me,
it was like this activator.
1573
01:15:23,215 --> 01:15:26,152
And it, like...
Whoa, all of a sudden,
1574
01:15:26,185 --> 01:15:28,721
the things that you were saying,
I realized they were in my head,
1575
01:15:28,754 --> 01:15:30,456
but I just had not
thought them yet.
1576
01:15:30,489 --> 01:15:33,125
- Okay, yeah.
- And that to me...
1577
01:15:33,159 --> 01:15:35,227
That to me...
That's not gonna work.
1578
01:15:35,261 --> 01:15:36,428
What?
1579
01:15:36,462 --> 01:15:39,098
That's not gonna work, Jessie.
1580
01:15:39,131 --> 01:15:40,466
Hee hee hee.
1581
01:15:40,499 --> 01:15:43,068
Your phone, you broke it
during the set, remember?
1582
01:15:44,336 --> 01:15:45,771
- Yeah, I remember.
- Of course.
1583
01:15:45,804 --> 01:15:47,106
Oh, my gosh,
how could you forget?
1584
01:15:47,139 --> 01:15:48,974
How could I forget?
How could anyone forget?
1585
01:15:49,008 --> 01:15:52,044
Oh, my gosh, I had this, like,
crazy breakthrough today, too.
1586
01:15:52,077 --> 01:15:54,280
Why are we going east?
We need to be going west?
1587
01:15:54,313 --> 01:15:55,781
You know what I'm
all about now, Jessie?
1588
01:15:55,814 --> 01:15:57,816
I'm all about love.
I'm a man of love.
1589
01:15:57,850 --> 01:15:59,385
You can just... just pull
over here and let me out.
1590
01:15:59,418 --> 01:16:00,986
Okay, just listen to me.
1591
01:16:01,020 --> 01:16:02,454
I'm just trying to, like,
make myself heard by you.
1592
01:16:02,488 --> 01:16:04,423
So, like, check this out.
1593
01:16:04,456 --> 01:16:07,226
Love is more powerful
than anything.
1594
01:16:07,259 --> 01:16:09,094
That's something that I figured
out back there at the show.
1595
01:16:09,128 --> 01:16:10,296
- It's like love...
- Just let me out, man.
1596
01:16:10,329 --> 01:16:12,798
- Just please...
- ...love is more powerful
1597
01:16:12,831 --> 01:16:14,099
than anything.
1598
01:16:14,133 --> 01:16:15,734
- You know what I mean?
- No.
1599
01:16:15,768 --> 01:16:17,169
It could break down
any sort of barrier
1600
01:16:17,203 --> 01:16:18,938
between any type of person.
1601
01:16:18,971 --> 01:16:22,808
It's like, man, how can
something that's so powerful
1602
01:16:22,841 --> 01:16:24,276
also just be such
a good branding tool?
1603
01:16:24,310 --> 01:16:25,511
Kurt, please let me
out of the car.
1604
01:16:25,544 --> 01:16:27,146
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like
1605
01:16:27,179 --> 01:16:29,848
imagine the audience
that you and me could get
1606
01:16:29,882 --> 01:16:31,917
if we just plussed
our audiences together.
1607
01:16:31,951 --> 01:16:33,152
Oh, my gosh,
can you imagine the numbers...
1608
01:16:33,185 --> 01:16:34,954
You are freaking me out
right now.
1609
01:16:34,987 --> 01:16:36,355
...from a leaked sex tape?
1610
01:16:36,388 --> 01:16:38,157
- That would be unbelievable.
- What?
1611
01:16:38,190 --> 01:16:39,792
And it's like having sex?
1612
01:16:39,825 --> 01:16:41,327
We're beyond having sex
at that point.
1613
01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:43,028
We're, like, making love.
1614
01:16:43,062 --> 01:16:45,397
Like, real love, though,
not, like, disingenuine love.
1615
01:16:45,431 --> 01:16:46,899
- It's cool, right?
- Where are we going?
1616
01:16:46,932 --> 01:16:48,334
I'm taking you home.
1617
01:16:48,367 --> 01:16:50,135
This is not the way
to my fucking house, Kurt.
1618
01:16:50,169 --> 01:16:52,004
Oh, no, not
your home.
1619
01:16:52,037 --> 01:16:53,239
My home.
1620
01:16:55,274 --> 01:16:56,408
My home.
1621
01:17:27,873 --> 01:17:29,041
Aah!
1622
01:17:42,955 --> 01:17:45,124
Aah!
Let go!
1623
01:17:53,265 --> 01:17:54,933
What is wrong with you?
1624
01:18:01,974 --> 01:18:05,177
Didn't you listen to me?
I said I'm all about love now.
1625
01:19:01,934 --> 01:19:03,202
Okay.
1626
01:19:19,686 --> 01:19:22,054
Sorry, Jessie.
1627
01:19:57,423 --> 01:19:59,558
Can't believe you got out
of the car bro
1628
01:19:59,591 --> 01:20:01,393
what a fucking dumbass.
1629
01:20:08,500 --> 01:20:09,535
Shit.
1630
01:20:13,773 --> 01:20:15,541
Oh, my God.
1631
01:20:26,618 --> 01:20:28,520
Run.
1632
01:20:49,541 --> 01:20:51,043
Aah!
1633
01:21:00,820 --> 01:21:03,322
Why are you doing this?
1634
01:21:03,355 --> 01:21:06,291
Jessie, we could have
been a power couple!
1635
01:21:09,294 --> 01:21:11,997
No! Aah!
1636
01:21:33,552 --> 01:21:35,755
Sis you're doing frickin great!
1637
01:21:35,788 --> 01:21:38,123
Whoever the fuck is watching
this, you are sick!
1638
01:21:38,156 --> 01:21:41,059
What is wrong with you?
This is not a fucking TV show.
1639
01:21:41,093 --> 01:21:42,561
If you know where we are,
call the cops.
1640
01:21:44,396 --> 01:21:45,832
Shit.
1641
01:21:45,865 --> 01:21:49,067
Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.
1642
01:21:50,168 --> 01:21:52,371
What the hell happened here?!
1643
01:21:54,172 --> 01:21:56,341
Who are you?
1644
01:21:56,375 --> 01:21:59,077
What did you do?
1645
01:21:59,111 --> 01:22:00,345
I-I didn't do anything.
1646
01:22:00,379 --> 01:22:02,314
You're really
fucked up right now.
1647
01:22:02,347 --> 01:22:04,651
And I'm sorry if you're drunk
or high or...
1648
01:22:05,752 --> 01:22:07,452
I'm gonna have to call the cops.
1649
01:22:07,486 --> 01:22:08,721
Call them!
Tell them the address!
1650
01:22:08,755 --> 01:22:10,589
There's a fucking psycho
running around.
1651
01:22:12,725 --> 01:22:16,562
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Angela.
1652
01:22:16,595 --> 01:22:18,798
Did you do this?
Did you kill her?
1653
01:22:18,831 --> 01:22:20,432
What did you do to her?
1654
01:22:25,805 --> 01:22:28,540
Why don't you just kill me, too?
1655
01:22:28,574 --> 01:22:31,410
Angela's dead.
Nobody showed up to my set.
1656
01:22:31,443 --> 01:22:33,813
So come on!
Take me out.
1657
01:22:33,846 --> 01:22:35,782
Ah!
1658
01:22:38,350 --> 01:22:40,218
Kurt.
1659
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,355
Did you do this?
1660
01:22:44,323 --> 01:22:46,391
Did you kill your mother?
1661
01:22:46,425 --> 01:22:47,827
Thanks, Kurt.
1662
01:22:47,860 --> 01:22:49,561
Shit, almost forgot.
1663
01:22:49,595 --> 01:22:51,363
Mom.
1664
01:22:51,396 --> 01:22:53,231
Tell me you didn't
kill your mother.
1665
01:22:53,265 --> 01:22:54,634
Hey, Mom.
1666
01:23:00,172 --> 01:23:01,406
No.
1667
01:23:01,440 --> 01:23:03,241
Kurt, seriously.
1668
01:24:14,681 --> 01:24:16,816
Wow.
1669
01:24:16,849 --> 01:24:18,383
Thanks for watching.
1670
01:24:18,417 --> 01:24:21,921
And hopefully a lot of you
now follow me.
1671
01:24:24,289 --> 01:24:26,591
What a crazy day for me.
1672
01:24:26,626 --> 01:24:30,562
Jessie please go see
if Kurt is still alive.
1673
01:24:33,598 --> 01:24:36,268
So many emotions.
1674
01:24:36,301 --> 01:24:39,706
Highs and lows.
1675
01:24:40,907 --> 01:24:44,777
And here we are,
the end of "The Lesson."
1676
01:24:53,052 --> 01:24:55,855
I really hope you guys
learned something.
1677
01:24:55,888 --> 01:24:59,659
I mean, I know
you learned something.
1678
01:25:02,527 --> 01:25:04,296
And as for me?
1679
01:25:15,574 --> 01:25:17,576
50,000 people watching.
1680
01:25:22,514 --> 01:25:24,549
I guess I got what I wanted.
1681
01:25:32,725 --> 01:25:35,661
Grab a selfie with him!
YOLO!
1682
01:26:00,052 --> 01:26:01,821
Looks like someone fucked up
1683
01:26:01,854 --> 01:26:05,390
and put your girl
in a fancy hotel. What?
1684
01:26:10,428 --> 01:26:12,430
All eyes on me!
I want to be seen!
1685
01:26:40,026 --> 01:26:44,130
But the thing about me is that
I'll continue to find Kurt.
1686
01:26:44,163 --> 01:26:46,065
I will continue to dig
until I get...
1687
01:26:46,098 --> 01:26:49,068
until I get the...
until I get real Kurt.
1688
01:26:49,101 --> 01:26:52,038
And that's why you're...
that's why you'll subscribe.
1689
01:27:47,026 --> 01:27:48,194
Hey, guys, what's up?
1690
01:27:48,227 --> 01:27:49,494
It's Kurt here
from Kurt's World.
117890