All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S03E05.Id.Rather.Fight.Than.Switch.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(uptempo instrumental music)

(audience laughs)

(cat meows)

(cat hisses)

- Did you get it?

- Yeah, I got it.

Well, it's quiet now,

but it was spinning
around like crazy before.

- Splendid.

Mus musculus, or waltzing mouse.

Originally bred in China,

and known in Japan
as the Nanking mouse.

They're dancing propensities
are supposedly due

to derangement of the
labyrinth of the ear.

- A waltzing mouse.

- Perfect for my experiment.

- Oh, what are you gonna do?

Teach it how to do the jerk?

(audience laughs)

- I could, but he'll
serve science much better

if my molecular
reassembler is successful.

- Molecular reassembler.

Hm.

(cat meows)

Hey, hey, hey, come
on, Uncle Martin,

that's a cat, and
that's a mouse,

and, well, you couldn't,
that's inhuman.

- It's quite human, but
definitely unmartian.

I wouldn't dream of
what you're thinking.

- But, but, but,
the cat, the cat.

- Now, you've heard of
the drug known as RSD?

- Yeah, yeah, that's the one

that changes personality
traits, isn't it?

- Right.

Makes heroes of poltroons

and whimpering
cowards of brave men.

My molecular reassembler
goes one step further.

- Naturally.
(audience laughs)

- When two subjects of
completely different makeup

are exposed to the laser beam,

the entire psyche of
each is interchanged.

Attitude, personality,
and brain power.

- So that the cat
becomes the mouse

and the mouse becomes that cat?

- Inwardly.

Their physical appearance
remains the same.

Observe.

(cat meows)

(machine hums)
(harp music)

Voila.

Note the subtle change
in the cat's attitude.

(audience laughs)

- That's incredible.

- Elementary.

Now, watch the mouse.

(machine hums)
(harp music)

(mouse squeaks)

- Marvelously, that works.
(audience laughs)

What's it for?

- The peace of
the world, my boy.

With the proper balance,
my molecular reassembler

will eventually erase
all hostility in mankind.

- Well, that is a pretty
tall order, Uncle Martin.

- Not so.

It is written that someday,

the lion will lie
down with the lamb.

- Uh-huh.

- Well?

- Well, I'm just gonna
bet you eight to five

that the lion is the
only one that gets up.

(audience laughs)

(midtempo orchestral music)

(radar beeps)

(playful orchestral music)

(audience laughs)
(mouse squeaks)

Well, okay Uncle
Martin, it works.

Now how do you change 'em back?

- Simply by shunting
the molecular stream,

and reversing the neutron field.

- Oh.

Nothing at all for you, right?

- All it takes is a few
grains of carbonaceous mineral

known as egolite.

- Say, what would happen
without that stuff?

- Well, in a matter
of a couple of hours,

the molecules would stabilize,

and they'd be that
way permanently.

Well, that uses up this egolite.

However, I believe I have
another vial in the garage.

- Here, Mr. McPhee!

Here, Mr. McPhee!

Oh, do forgive me for
bursting in like this,

but the door was open,

and I thought I heard
Mr. McPhee up here.

Detective Brennan
is calling for me,

and we're going out on the town.

How do I look?

- Fine, but who is Mr. McPhee?

- My cat.

- Your cat?

What does he look like?

- Oh, he's just an
ordinary house cat.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty, kitty.

Mostly gray with
a white nose, and,

oh, say maybe I can find
him with this flashlight.

(audience laughs)

- No, no!

- Uncle Martin watch
out for the light.

- Don't worry--

(frenzied orchestral music)

(audience laughs)

And he's got a nose
and two white paws,

and is forever running off.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.

Why do I feel so strange?

- Oh no, Uncle Martin.

Uncle Martin?

- Tim.

- Uncle Martin.
(audience laughs)

- Tim, get my kit from
the garage, quick.

There's another bottle
of egolite in it.

(high-pitched warbling)

- I can't believe it.

Is that really you?

- Of course it's me.

Well, nevermind the
body, I'm inside it.

- Oh, well what are
we gonna do about him,

uh, her?

(audience laughs)

- He, she's in a
state of suspension.

She'll be oblivious until
I can reverse this thing.

(door knocks)

- Brennan!

(high-pitched warbling)

- No, it's somebody else.

Open the door and play it cool.

- I have a telegram
for Mrs. Brown.

They told me she
might be up here.

- Thanks, keep the change.

(audience laughs)

Maybe it's from Brennan.

Maybe he can't make it.

- Don't read that,
it might be personal.

Give it to me.

Hm, it's from my
brother in Washington.

- Hm?

- I mean, her brother.

He's arriving here tonight.

- What?

Can you get this fixed in time?

- I'm sure I can.

- Oh, fine.

Well I'm going to get
the kit in the garage.

- Come here.

(audience laughs)

You put Mrs. Brown
in the other room.

I'll get the kit.

- Lorelei.

- Brennan!

Bill!
(audience laughs)

Well, how did you
know I was up here?

- Well, a messenger
boy came with a tele.

(playful instrumental music)
(audience laughs)

- Sudden attack,
nothing serious.

I just came up here to
see if I could help.

- Fooling around with one of
his crazy inventions again,

I suppose.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, good evening.

- Good evening, Tim.

What's the matter with
your Uncle Martin?

- Well, he isn't
exactly himself tonight.

- That's an improvement.

Shall we go, Lorelei?

- No, wait!
(audience laughs)

- Surely you can
take care of him.

- Well, it's not that.

It's, it's, that Mrs. Brown,
Mrs. Brown lost her cat.

Her cat, yes,
that's it, her cat.

Here kitty, kitty, she's
terribly lonely without him.

(Tim whistles)

Kitty, kitty, kitty.

No, no, no, no,
no, the point is,

the cat hasn't had its dinner
yet, has it, Mrs. Brown?

- Yes, yes, I'm
afraid you're right.

I tell you what, Bill.

Why don't you run along,
and I'll join you later.

Just as soon as I find him.

- Now, Lorelei, let's not
become the hysterical woman.

The cat'll come back as
soon as he's hungry enough.

- I better go with him before
he starts getting suspicious.

You'll have to bring
the stuff to me later.

- Coming, Lorelei?

- Oh yes, Bill.

Tim can take care of everything.

- Well, where will you be?

- Well, for the next two
hours, at the Pelican Club.

After that, it's
anybody's guess.

(audience laughs)

- Brother, you said a mouthful.

(uptempo jazz music)

- Enjoying yourself, Lorelei?

- No.

Oh, these sash weights

make my ears feel like
a bunch of bananas.

Ah, that feels better.

Vestigial trappings
remaining from the culture

of a savage society.

(audience laughs)

- Doesn't sound like you at all.

- No, it doesn't, does it?

- Something wrong, Lorelei?

- No, no, no, no, I
was just wondering

if Tim found my cat.

- Oh, forget about the cat.

Lorelei, I've been looking
forward to this moment

for a long while.

Ever since the
first day I met you.

- Oh, there's a cigarette girl.

Would you mind, Bill?

- Again?

I bought you nine packs already.

(audience laughs)

Miss.

Just empty the tray
on the table, please.

(audience laughs)

Thank you.

- Well, now why did you do that?

- 'Cause I don't want
any more interruptions.

(audience laughs)

Lorelei, I have something
very important to say to you.

- Well, don't you think
we ought to order dinner?

- No, I don't.

- Really?

- I'm sorry, but
every time I get ready

to say what's on my mind,
you create a diversion.

- It does seem that
way, doesn't it?

- Lorelei, I'm on the verge
of asking you to do something

that will change both of lives.

- I could use a
change right now.

(audience laughs)

- I know I'm not a
very romantic man,

and I may be rather clumsy
about the way I propose.

- Mrs. Brown?

Mrs. Brown?

- Oh, that's me.
(audience laughs)

Oh, that's me.

- Yes, madam.

There's a telephone call
for you in the booth.

This way, please.

- Uncle Martin.

Uh, Uncle Martin is
calling you, Aunt Lorelei.

(audience laughs)

- Did you find the egolite?

- I got the bottle right here.

- Good work.

- But it's empty.
(audience laughs)

- Good night.

If I only had some time, I
could improvise something.

- Well right now, you
have less than an hour,

now come on, let's
get out of here.

- Wait.

The earrings.

- Earrings, how could
you think of those

at a time like this?

- I must get them, diamonds,
don't you see, Tim?

The mineral is almost
the same as egolite.

Corundum, high carbon component.

- Oh, where are they?

- On the table.

Wait here for me.

If I'm not back in 30
seconds, come and get me.

- Uh, it was Tim.

He still hasn't been
able to find my cat.

I can't imagine where he got to.

- Lorelei, I have been thinking,

and I've reached a conclusion.

- Oh, I know you
would, of course,

you're a detective.

(audience laughs)

- Lorelei.

- Where is he?

- Where's who?

- Mr. McPhee?

- Who's Mr. McPhee?

- My cat, where is he?

- How do I know where he is?

Well, I thought you
said you had a clue.

- I said I've come
to a conclusion.

(audience laughs)

Oh, behavior is obvious.

You're in love
with somebody else.

That O'Hara.

(audience laughs)

- Oh.

- There's that Tim O'Hara.

You didn't send
for him, did you?

- Well of course not,
why would I do that?

- I don't know.

You've done a number of
strange things this evening.

(partygoers applaud)

(uptempo jazz music)

- What's the matter?

Why couldn't you
get out of here?

- Because, he's got the
tenacity of a bulldog,

without its compensating beauty.

- Can't you just put up
your antennas and disappear?

- No, I can't, they're
on the other body.

Oh, I've gotta do something
drastic, he's coming!

Grab my arm.

- What?

- Oh, oh!

Oh, oh, it's my ankle.

I twisted it.

Oh!
(audience laughs)

Oh, dear.

(partygoers applaud)

- An icepack.

Oh, we'll get the cigarette girl

to take you to the ladies' room.

- Oh, no I couldn't do that.

- No, she should see a doctor.

We'll be back soon.

- You'll do nothing of the kind.

(partygoers applaud)

- Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Pelican Club

and 40 minutes of
quality entertainment.

- 40 minutes, do you think
your molecules can hold out?

- No chance, I've
gotta go to the whip.

- The world's most celebrated
magician, Monsieur Flamand.

(partygoers applaud)

- Thank you.

Just a bird in a cage, watch.

Hup!

(audience applauds)

The mystery of the empty cone.

(audience applauds)

And now for the illusion
that has baffled millions.

I will need the
assistance, however,

of some lady or gentleman
from the audience.

You sir, would you mind
assisting me, please?

(high-pitched warbling)
Madam?

- I never could understand

how a person could
be so imbecilic

as to volunteer to, what?

What?

(audience laughs)

- How about you, sir?

I'll merely lock
you in the trunk,

cause you to vanish,
and you'll reappear

right back here in your chair.

- I'll be very happy to oblige.

(audience laughs)

- What got into him?

- Hypnosis, only way out.

- Oh.

Well what are we waiting for?

- Just a little insurance.

He's getting in the trunk now.

- Just step right in the
trunk, down at this end,

sit down if you
will please, sir.

Just sit down right,
right down in it.

(locks click)

The key, sir.

(high-pitched warbling)
(lock sizzles)

- I just wanna make sure he
doesn't get out of that trunk

before I get out of this body.

Let's go.

(uptempo orchestral music)

Bring her in here.

(suspenseful orchestral music)

- Boy, I think she's
getting heavier,

how you coming?

- Almost, yeah.

If my theory is correct,

the carbon component
in the diamond

will refract the laser beam.

- If your theory is correct?

Uncle Martin, aren't you sure?

- We'll know in a minute.

There.

- Well, now what?

- Turn it on, Tim.

(machine hums)
(harp music)

- All right, okay Uncle Martin.

Now, now just say something.

- Nuts.

- Now that's just great.

Do you realize that you
have exactly 30 minutes

before you become
Mrs. Brown forever?

- I should've known, paste.

- Paste?

- Paste, imitation,
a phony diamond.

No wonder it didn't work.

We've got to get a hold of
a real diamond somewhere.

- Well, now I know why
they're a girl's best friend.

(audience laughs)

- Got it!

Brennan was about to propose.

He must have a ring.

(high-pitched warbling)

He's got a ring.

- He has?

That's just marvelous.

You just gave him the brush.

- Take care of her
until I come back.

- Well, where you going?

- Back to the Pelican
Club to get engaged.

(audience laughs)

(patrons chatter and laugh)

- [Man] All right,
get back, get back,

I'll do it myself.

- Don't, don't don't,
you'll ruin the trunk!

(high-pitched warbling)

Get him out of there quickly.

Come on, sir, are you all right?

Easy, sir.

- Right over here.

The magician came to us
highly recommended, sir.

Just sit down, easy.

Sir?

- William, look at me.

(fingers snap)

- As I was saying, a man
would be an utter imbecile

to let himself be
locked up in a trunk.

- Unless he didn't
know what he was doing.

(audience laughs)

- Where's O'Hara?

- Oh, I send him home.

He was interfering with
our, with our privacy.

(audience laughs)

- Hey, you've changed.

Not yet, but I'm working on it.

Why don't we leave
this place and, uh,

spend the rest of the
evening at my house?

- Inconsistency,
thy name is woman.

(audience laughs)

- Comfy?

- Very.

- You like some wine?

- Thank you.

Soft lights, sweet music, wine.

Sudden outburst of affection.

- Uh, you were about
to tell me something

at the Pelican Club.

- I certainly was.

You kept putting me off.

- Well, it was too
noisy in there.

- It's possible I
was too presumptuous

and overbearing, but I
don't have much experience

in these matters.

- Well now don't
think about it, Bill,

just tell me what's
on your mind.

- Lorelei.

- Yes?

- No.

(audience laughs)

I can't ask you.

It wouldn't be right.

- Oh, it would, it would.

Ask me.

- You sure you
won't switch again?

- Don't say that.
(audience laughs)

I mean, well, say
what you have to say,

and say it fast.

- I thought women didn't
like whirlwind courtships.

- Believe me, I'm not
an ordinary woman.

(audience laughs)

- I'll say you're not.

No, I absolutely can't.

I'll feel better in a few weeks.

- A few weeks?

Oh, in 10 minutes,
I'll be a gone goose.

- What?

- I said are you
a man or a moose?

Well, say it already!

- Will you, uh.

- Yes, yes?

- Will you accept this ring
as a sign of my affection?

- Oh!

(audience laughs)

It's real, it's a real diamond.

- Of course it's real!

Do you suppose I'd have the gall

to ask you to become my wife

and then hand you a phony?

- Oh, don't move, stay
right where you are.

I have to show this to Tim.

- Wait!

(audience laughs)

- Did you get it?

- It was repulsive
work, but I got it.

Where's Mrs. Brown?

- Oh, i put her in the bedroom.

- Bring her in!

I have to fix the reassembler.

(door knocks)

- Is Mrs. Brown here?

I'm her brother, just
in from Washington.

- Oh, come in, come in.

I'm Detective Brennan.

- Oh, you must be the chap
she's been writing about.

She's very fond of you.

- Oh, I should hope so.

She's going to be my wife.

- No.

- Mm-hm.

- Well, let's have a
drink on that, shall we?

(audience laughs)

- You all set?

- Ready.

Hit the switch, and keep
your fingers crossed.

- Okay.

(frenzied orchestral music)
(machine hums)

- Woo, mm, that was
cutting it pretty fine.

- Oh, thank heaven.

Hey, is she gonna be okay?

- Yes, when I bring
her out of it,

she'll have no recollection
of any events of the evening.

Take the ring out
of the reassembler.

- Oh yeah.

(high-pitched warbling)

- Ah.

And two white paws.

I named him Mr. McPhee
after the gentleman

who used to rent this apartment.

Where's the flashlight.

Oh, there it is.

- I don't think you have
to worry about your cat,

Mrs. Brown, I'm sure it'll
show up safe and sound.

Isn't that right, Uncle Martin?

- Of course, I'll
see to it myself.

- Oh, thank you.

Well, I better hurry downstairs.

Detective Brennan should
be here any minute.

Oh, darling.

- Oh, Lorelei.

(audience laughs)

- Hey, what about me?

- Bill Brennan, now
really, how dare you!

I mean, really,
friendship is friendship,

but there's such a thing

as carrying a
friendship too far.

- Lorelei, what's come over you?

- And if you were any
kind of a brother,

well, you'd put
him in his place.

- But he told me that you're
engaged to be married.

- Engaged?

Well, I think somebody
should consult me about that.

(audience laughs)

- But I don't understand.

Five minutes ago you
were the most loving--

- Five minutes ago?

Now Bill, I haven't
seen you all day.

- Lorelei, are you saying

that I didn't just give
you a diamond ring?

- Now wait a minute.

Are you accusing my
sister of something?

- How you gonna square this?

- Lorelei, you can't be serious.

Do you deny that
we spent two hours

at the Pelican
Club this evening?

- I certainly do.

I have not left this apartment

since I came up here
to look for my cat.

Isn't that right, Tim?

- That's right,
Detective Brennan.

Mrs. Brown has not
left this house.

- Do you mean that I didn't
bring you to your house

a little while ago?

- You did not.

- He was in your house
when I got there, Lorelei.

We had a drink together.

That's when he told
me you were engaged.

- Well, I'm afraid he's
had too many drinks.

Come on, Leroy, I've
had enough of this.

Oh, please, accept my apologies

for this gentleman's behavior.

- Lorelei, I beg you, please.

Try to remember, the ring.

When I gave it to you, you
put a shot glass in your eye

and examined the stone
to see if it was real.

I, but she.

- Mr. Brennan,
it's just possible

you thought you gave
Mrs. Brown the ring.

Look in your pocket.

(suspenseful orchestral music)
(audience laughs)

- I must be losing my mind.

- Well, as the saying goes,

it's better to
have loved and lost

than never to have loved at all.

(playful orchestral music)

- Hi, Uncle Martin.

Hey, have you got anything
in your martian kit

that'll make a button stay on?

I lost another one.

- Yes, a very
complicated device.

It's called a needle and thread.

(audience laughs)
- Hysterical.

- Seen Mrs. Brown?

- [Tim] Yeah, Brennan
offered her the ring again.

- Well?

- She took it.

But she gave it back again.

- No.

- Oh yeah.

Well, I'm afraid
that romance is over,

at least for a while.

Mrs. Brown says she
needs some more time.

She doesn't believe
that a woman should have

a whirlwind courtship.

- That's too bad.

- Yeah, well, I think he'll
offer it to her again though.

Just as soon as he gets
back from his rest cure.

(audience laughs)

- All shook up.

- Oh boy, wouldn't you be?

- Well, I don't feel so
hot myself, you know?

- Well, my advice to you
is, get rid of that machine.

- No, no, no, Tim.

I've just about reached
the perfect balance.

- I hope so.

Mrs. Brown is still
looking for her cat.

- He's about ready to go home.

Look.

- [Tim] How did you do that?

- Ingenuity.

A step towards peace on Earth.

- Uncle Martin, you
are a great man.

(audience laughs)

Now, if you could only sew.

(playful orchestral music)

(midtempo electronic music)