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1
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,910
Good evening. I'm Butt-head.
2
00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:51,717
The movie you are about to see
3
00:00:51,859 --> 00:00:55,090
will be presented using
special 3D technology.
4
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,696
You will see the Jackasses
5
00:00:56,831 --> 00:00:59,595
like no human being
has ever seen them before.
6
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:03,669
In three dimensions.
7
00:01:05,974 --> 00:01:08,169
In order to experience
this new dimension,
8
00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:11,472
you must put on the special glasses
that you were given in the lobby.
9
00:01:13,481 --> 00:01:15,005
This is gonna be cool.
10
00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:26,851
Doesn't really
look any different, Butt-head.
11
00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:30,897
Whoa! Hey, Beavis,
look at my hand.
12
00:01:31,032 --> 00:01:33,262
It's in 3D.
13
00:01:33,401 --> 00:01:35,335
Really? I don't see...
14
00:01:37,505 --> 00:01:40,269
That's amazing!
It felt like you really hit me!
15
00:01:40,408 --> 00:01:42,899
It's almost like your hand really...
16
00:01:43,044 --> 00:01:45,012
Wow! It's amazing technology!
17
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,508
Wait a second.
18
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,708
So sit back and enjoy the movie.
19
00:01:49,851 --> 00:01:51,910
That was definitely 2D.
20
00:01:52,053 --> 00:01:53,645
Dumb-ass.
21
00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:35,650
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
Welcome to Jackass.
22
00:05:31,105 --> 00:05:35,007
My name is Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the High Five.
23
00:05:37,979 --> 00:05:41,574
Oh, my goodness. Good morning!
24
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:44,841
There? All right.
25
00:05:44,986 --> 00:05:46,749
- Fuck.
- Oh, no.
26
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,150
- Yeah, Dunn. What up, brother?
- What's up, nerd?
27
00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:53,624
- Whassup, dude?
- What's up, nerds?
28
00:06:06,307 --> 00:06:08,775
Dude, you played it off so good.
29
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:11,640
He said, "What's up, Dunn?"
30
00:06:15,116 --> 00:06:16,413
Reset, reset.
31
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,484
Ehren's walking in,
and we're gonna have him bring
32
00:06:18,619 --> 00:06:21,179
in a whole tray full of soup.
33
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,860
- How you doing, guys?
- Pop it in there.
34
00:06:26,994 --> 00:06:29,519
- He's not gonna do it.
- What?
35
00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,655
I don't think he's gonna go for it.
36
00:06:39,874 --> 00:06:42,001
- What up, Ehren?
- What's up, dude?
37
00:06:42,143 --> 00:06:44,008
Help us crowd, brother.
38
00:06:46,414 --> 00:06:47,813
He fell for it!
39
00:06:54,088 --> 00:06:56,079
He fell for the soup!
40
00:06:59,026 --> 00:07:01,893
Welcome back, ladies. You got me.
41
00:07:02,029 --> 00:07:03,519
Oh, my God!
42
00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:06,562
Look at the tray!
He broke it in half, dude!
43
00:07:08,235 --> 00:07:10,829
- You can hug me for that.
- The tray broke.
44
00:07:12,006 --> 00:07:15,498
I can't believe he fell for it.
"Can you bring the soup in?"
45
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,612
"We need you to bring this
tray of soup into the kitchen."
46
00:07:18,746 --> 00:07:22,045
This is all flour
for our friend, Bam.
47
00:07:22,183 --> 00:07:25,482
We're gonna antique him
when he gets here.
48
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,917
- Oh, OK.
- He's walking in.
49
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:31,658
- What's up?
- What up?
50
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,192
Not much. How you been?
High five!
51
00:07:51,812 --> 00:07:53,939
That was the best one so far!
52
00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:57,812
- Oh, my God!
- You guys done kicked my fucking ass.
53
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,018
He got antiqued!
54
00:08:05,426 --> 00:08:08,918
- I was so not ready for that.
- That was so good! You went flying.
55
00:08:09,063 --> 00:08:11,031
- Good morning, man.
- Morning, Bam!
56
00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:13,793
Howdy. Goddamn!
57
00:08:15,169 --> 00:08:17,729
Not too many people knew us
back in our college days,
58
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,601
but, man, we were wild!
59
00:08:19,740 --> 00:08:22,004
I mean, we were having
wet T-shirt contests,
60
00:08:22,143 --> 00:08:24,771
bitchin' summers, body shots...
61
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:27,242
...cornholin'...
62
00:08:28,849 --> 00:08:32,580
And Johnny Knoxville,
the king of spring break!
63
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:37,123
Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!
64
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,259
I'm Johnny Knoxville.
This is the Jet Ski.
65
00:08:54,275 --> 00:08:55,674
Dude.
66
00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:57,141
Holy shit!
67
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:06,284
You just barely clipped the top.
68
00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:11,316
He totally landed it.
69
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:14,986
- How far did I go?
- You went far, man.
70
00:09:15,129 --> 00:09:16,756
I was scared, man.
71
00:09:16,897 --> 00:09:18,626
I've seen a lot of crazy shit
during spring break,
72
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,892
and that took the cake, man.
73
00:09:20,034 --> 00:09:21,968
I didn't exactly stick
the fuckin' landing.
74
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,798
- No. I think you did.
- Yeah, you did!
75
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,304
The king of spring break!
76
00:09:33,314 --> 00:09:36,078
Shit. Dude, I knew
we shouldn't have done this
77
00:09:36,217 --> 00:09:37,775
at my fuckin' dad's house.
78
00:09:37,918 --> 00:09:39,749
He's already pissed about me
fuckin' skipping school.
79
00:09:39,887 --> 00:09:41,286
He's gonna cut me off.
80
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:44,788
That's coming out of my allowance.
81
00:09:55,069 --> 00:09:57,469
I'm Steve-O... Oh, fuck!
82
00:10:02,943 --> 00:10:05,343
Why do I have to be Steve-O?
83
00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:09,345
- It'll be so quick.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
84
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:10,814
You got it.
85
00:10:13,888 --> 00:10:15,947
I'm Steve-O,
86
00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:17,489
and this is Tee Ball.
87
00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:28,292
That was a direct ding-ding hit.
88
00:10:34,508 --> 00:10:36,499
It's only getting worse and worse.
89
00:10:40,247 --> 00:10:43,375
You're the best fielder
I ever saw, Steve-O.
90
00:10:43,884 --> 00:10:45,977
Great job.
91
00:10:47,254 --> 00:10:49,381
Right down the middle.
92
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:50,717
Line drive.
93
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:55,353
I'm Dave England,
and this is the Bungee Boogie.
94
00:10:58,399 --> 00:10:59,388
Go.
95
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,502
That was thrilling.
96
00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:08,130
- What the fuck?
- Let's try it again!
97
00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:10,140
Let go.
98
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,508
Shit!
99
00:11:18,419 --> 00:11:21,650
- You OK, dude?
- Yeah, super good.
100
00:11:29,096 --> 00:11:30,324
- Ready?
- OK.
101
00:11:37,605 --> 00:11:39,038
My lip.
102
00:12:04,231 --> 00:12:05,220
- Here we go.
- Tell us when.
103
00:12:05,366 --> 00:12:07,596
- Go ahead.
- Step... go!
104
00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:16,904
That was actually pretty impressive.
105
00:12:17,044 --> 00:12:19,672
I mean, it wasn't a slam,
but it was still pretty impressive.
106
00:12:21,715 --> 00:12:25,048
But this is really impressive.
107
00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:27,684
- Ready?
- This seems dangerous.
108
00:12:28,222 --> 00:12:29,587
And go!
109
00:12:39,099 --> 00:12:41,363
Fuck the helmet,
give me a back brace.
110
00:12:42,369 --> 00:12:44,394
Man, you ate shit!
111
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,604
- Well, that worked.
- I thought you had that.
112
00:12:48,742 --> 00:12:51,233
And go!
113
00:12:57,885 --> 00:13:00,319
Hey! There goes the pool!
114
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,891
Preston. That was awesome.
115
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,893
...start to see me on TV...
116
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:51,696
How many bees
are we working with here today?
117
00:13:51,839 --> 00:13:54,000
Each hive, probably anywhere
from ten to 50,000 bees.
118
00:13:54,141 --> 00:13:56,632
They are Africanized, so they
will be a little bit more testy.
119
00:13:56,777 --> 00:13:59,439
What do you think the chances are
of these guys getting stung today?
120
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:02,014
They're gonna get stung.
There's no doubt in my mind.
121
00:14:02,149 --> 00:14:04,140
When you hit a ball full of bees,
you're gonna get stung.
122
00:14:04,284 --> 00:14:07,253
How many bee stings
do you think we can take?
123
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,152
I think it takes about
a hundred to kill a man.
124
00:14:10,290 --> 00:14:13,054
- What?!
- There's 50,000 bees in there.
125
00:14:13,193 --> 00:14:15,058
Did you just make that up, please?
126
00:14:15,195 --> 00:14:17,459
- I don't think I made it up.
- What?!
127
00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:19,156
There's 50,000 per hive.
128
00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:21,460
50,000 and it takes 100 to kill a man?
129
00:14:21,602 --> 00:14:24,196
I think it's about a hundred bees
can kill you, if I'm not mistaken.
130
00:14:24,338 --> 00:14:28,536
- What are we doing here?
- Making a hit movie.
131
00:14:28,675 --> 00:14:31,075
Go for 99 and then take off.
132
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,517
That's gotta piss 'em off too, right,
133
00:14:38,652 --> 00:14:41,553
- just being poured in there?
- Oh, maybe.
134
00:14:41,688 --> 00:14:44,680
I'm starting to think that maybe
this wasn't that good of an idea.
135
00:14:44,825 --> 00:14:46,588
It seemed good on paper.
136
00:14:46,727 --> 00:14:49,093
Look at this.
137
00:14:49,229 --> 00:14:50,890
This is gonna be gnarly now, man.
138
00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:53,966
- Come on, go. Let's go.
- Whoa. No, I'm getting hit.
139
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,365
- Oh, shit.
- Come on, Manny.
140
00:14:59,506 --> 00:15:01,371
Go on! Do it! Do it! Do it!
141
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,168
Do it! Fucking do it!
142
00:15:04,311 --> 00:15:07,906
Got a butt-ton of bees!
My two sexy players,
143
00:15:08,048 --> 00:15:11,142
this is Beehive Tetherball! Game on!
144
00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:14,510
Game on!
145
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,787
Oh, fucking shit!
146
00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:28,262
I can't do it anymore!
147
00:15:29,269 --> 00:15:31,533
Shit! Fuck! Goddamn it!
148
00:15:32,539 --> 00:15:35,440
Fuck! Oh, shit!
149
00:15:35,576 --> 00:15:38,044
He's gonna win!
150
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:40,271
- Steve-O!
- Fuck!
151
00:15:40,414 --> 00:15:42,814
- Shit! Oh, fuck!
- Stay with Dave. Go with Dave.
152
00:15:47,554 --> 00:15:49,784
Loomis, come retrieve the ball.
153
00:15:49,923 --> 00:15:53,415
Oh, fuck!
154
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,687
Oh, dude, it fucking hurts!
155
00:15:57,631 --> 00:16:00,429
Oh, my God! Oh, fuck!
156
00:16:02,769 --> 00:16:04,566
Please put me somewhere
where there's no bees!
157
00:16:04,705 --> 00:16:07,037
It's the carbon dioxide.
158
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:10,371
Your body heated up, so they targeted
you, you took it really good, man.
159
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,308
I am so fucking hurt!
160
00:16:12,446 --> 00:16:14,414
You were running around
on carbon dioxide.
161
00:16:14,548 --> 00:16:17,108
- Look at your eye.
- God, I gotta get rid of this.
162
00:16:17,651 --> 00:16:19,084
The thing is that Dave
doesn't understand
163
00:16:19,219 --> 00:16:22,586
is that the more you freak out,
the more you get stung.
164
00:16:22,723 --> 00:16:23,849
Idiot!
165
00:17:20,047 --> 00:17:23,608
That felt like somebody was
blowing a fireball in my face.
166
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,742
It looked like you were
just getting the hell beat out of you.
167
00:17:26,887 --> 00:17:28,354
You can't fucking breathe.
168
00:17:47,074 --> 00:17:50,009
Waiter? Can I get
some cream for my coffee?
169
00:18:57,277 --> 00:19:00,610
That's the story
of Jackass right there.
170
00:19:00,747 --> 00:19:02,374
Just pissing in the wind.
171
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:14,293
Hey, buddy, would you mind
watching my dog for a second
172
00:19:14,428 --> 00:19:17,556
while I run in there?
Thanks. I'll be right back.
173
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,097
Thank you, buddy.
174
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:36,375
Thanks, bud.
175
00:19:36,516 --> 00:19:38,484
Thank you very much
for watching my dog.
176
00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:56,667
My name is Johnny Knoxville,
and this is Roller Buffalo.
177
00:20:28,502 --> 00:20:30,367
You're the man!
178
00:20:35,509 --> 00:20:37,807
We're not worthy.
179
00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:47,580
Oh, man. Let me get over here.
180
00:20:47,721 --> 00:20:50,622
- What'd it feel like?
- It felt like shit.
181
00:20:52,058 --> 00:20:54,549
It felt like I got run over
by a buffalo.
182
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,409
It's in my mouth!
183
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:23,153
Get me out of here! Get me out of here!
184
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:24,518
Ehren, stay here!
185
00:21:28,929 --> 00:21:30,692
Think we need
to get him out from there?!
186
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:33,561
Let's get him!
Get it off of him.
187
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:37,466
- Ehren, stay out!
- All right!
188
00:21:37,604 --> 00:21:39,765
Lance... Hold it together, Lance!
189
00:21:42,776 --> 00:21:45,370
Pull out! OK, pull out! Pull out!
190
00:21:49,583 --> 00:21:52,450
- Did I get the shot?
- You got the shot, dude.
191
00:21:52,586 --> 00:21:54,383
So it went high and everything?
It was like a volcano?
192
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,148
You got a good three feet.
193
00:21:56,289 --> 00:21:58,723
- Three foot?
- Yeah, that one had some power.
194
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,987
- It was like a full-on volcano?
- Absolutely.
195
00:22:08,468 --> 00:22:09,730
Don't say anything.
196
00:22:17,811 --> 00:22:21,008
- What would your flavors be?
- Two Budweisers.
197
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:26,477
What do I owe you?
198
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:28,884
Six-fifty, please.
199
00:22:29,022 --> 00:22:31,354
- Keep the change.
- Thank you, dear.
200
00:22:31,491 --> 00:22:34,187
- Cheers. Boop!
- Cheers.
201
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:36,987
So what's the status?
202
00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:41,157
I don't know. Go down to the beach
or something... hit the water.
203
00:22:43,403 --> 00:22:44,529
You tried it?
204
00:22:44,671 --> 00:22:48,767
Tara! What the fuck are you doing?
205
00:22:51,478 --> 00:22:53,537
What the fuck?!
206
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,648
- Who the fuck are you?
- Who are you?
207
00:22:55,782 --> 00:22:57,841
I'm her frickin' boyfriend, asshole!
208
00:22:57,984 --> 00:23:00,509
That's cool, bud. I'm her man-friend.
209
00:23:00,654 --> 00:23:03,452
Dude, don't push me. Don't push me.
210
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:04,852
I'm not even touching you.
211
00:23:04,991 --> 00:23:07,516
You know, fuck both of you!
Fuck both of you!
212
00:23:07,661 --> 00:23:08,719
Calm down now.
213
00:23:09,629 --> 00:23:11,187
So...
214
00:23:12,532 --> 00:23:15,660
He and I are taking a break and...
215
00:23:18,805 --> 00:23:20,534
Right in here.
216
00:23:21,141 --> 00:23:22,369
Right in here.
217
00:23:22,509 --> 00:23:26,172
Fuck you! I told you
to get the fuck away!
218
00:23:26,313 --> 00:23:30,682
- Don't push him, man!
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
219
00:23:30,817 --> 00:23:32,079
Get your ass down!
220
00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:35,846
Keep your punk ass down,
you hunk of shit!
221
00:23:35,989 --> 00:23:38,549
Get him, Pop! Get him, Poppy!
222
00:23:39,693 --> 00:23:41,490
Get his ass down!
223
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:43,220
Get off of him! Stop!
224
00:23:45,699 --> 00:23:49,567
Police! Get on the fucking ground!
Get on the ground!
225
00:23:49,703 --> 00:23:51,796
Freeze! Everybody up against the wall!
226
00:23:51,938 --> 00:23:54,805
- Up against the wall!
- Get the fuck off me!
227
00:23:54,941 --> 00:23:56,772
What the fuck are you doing?!
228
00:23:56,910 --> 00:23:59,606
Get him up. Get him up!
229
00:23:59,746 --> 00:24:02,579
Freeze, motherfucker!
Get your hands behind your back!
230
00:24:03,717 --> 00:24:06,845
- Let's go, babe!
- Fucking get off me!
231
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:09,717
Code 54! Paramedic! Paramedic!
232
00:24:09,856 --> 00:24:13,019
Get the fuck off me!
Get him off me!
233
00:24:13,159 --> 00:24:16,595
- Get the fuck off me!
- Shut up! Shut up!
234
00:24:16,730 --> 00:24:18,254
Look at them two.
235
00:24:22,268 --> 00:24:25,260
Big boy. Wait. He can walk?
236
00:24:25,939 --> 00:24:27,133
OK.
237
00:24:30,410 --> 00:24:34,039
What was that all that about?
What the hell was all that about?
238
00:24:35,281 --> 00:24:38,773
I don't know! A bunch of midgets
come in here and start fighting!
239
00:24:38,918 --> 00:24:43,150
- I don't know what happened.
- That was wild!
240
00:24:43,289 --> 00:24:45,655
The cops came in!
I can't believe it.
241
00:24:45,792 --> 00:24:47,692
Little miniature cops.
242
00:24:54,768 --> 00:24:56,633
Here comes Dunn.
243
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:19,924
No fucking way, dude!
244
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:24,993
- Oh, my God.
- Is there blue on me?
245
00:25:25,131 --> 00:25:26,530
I am so happy.
246
00:25:26,666 --> 00:25:29,533
- There's a lot of blue.
- Dude, that thing goes!
247
00:25:34,007 --> 00:25:35,065
Fuck!
248
00:25:37,677 --> 00:25:40,510
Dude, the sound of it
is just fucking terrifying.
249
00:25:40,647 --> 00:25:43,343
This sucks. Oh, man.
250
00:25:48,621 --> 00:25:51,215
Its bark is worse than its bite, Ehren.
251
00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:54,918
Due to prison overpopulation,
252
00:25:55,061 --> 00:25:57,461
we're gonna give these boys
here a chance to escape.
253
00:25:57,597 --> 00:26:01,226
This side represents incarceration,
that side, freedom.
254
00:26:01,367 --> 00:26:03,961
This is Electric Avenue.
255
00:26:05,638 --> 00:26:09,233
Each one of these
stun guns has 950,000 volts.
256
00:26:09,375 --> 00:26:13,334
There's 15 of 'em hanging here, plus
four cattle prods. Good luck, fellas!
257
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,243
Go!
258
00:26:15,381 --> 00:26:17,679
- Go, go, go!
- Fuck!
259
00:26:17,817 --> 00:26:20,786
Fuck, I'm gonna pass out, man.
I'm gonna fucking pass out.
260
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,444
Come on, come on.
261
00:26:25,258 --> 00:26:26,589
Go, go, go!
262
00:26:37,036 --> 00:26:38,435
Fuck, that sucked!
263
00:26:40,507 --> 00:26:41,531
Fuck!
264
00:26:49,082 --> 00:26:50,208
Sucks doody!
265
00:27:02,262 --> 00:27:06,528
- How do you feel?
- I changed my mind.
266
00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:09,931
Stun guns are the number one
most thing that I hate now.
267
00:27:10,069 --> 00:27:12,162
Bulls are second, snakes are third.
268
00:27:12,305 --> 00:27:14,796
That sucked! Terribly.
269
00:27:25,718 --> 00:27:28,881
I'm Preston Lacy here
with pro kicker Josh Brown,
270
00:27:29,022 --> 00:27:30,284
and this is the Field Goal.
271
00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:46,331
Kick!
272
00:27:47,941 --> 00:27:49,875
Wow, that was a good kick.
273
00:27:50,009 --> 00:27:52,944
- Was that right in the puss?
- Right on the kisser.
274
00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:58,748
Oh, fuck.
275
00:27:58,885 --> 00:27:59,943
My mouth.
276
00:28:00,086 --> 00:28:01,212
Fuck!
277
00:28:07,093 --> 00:28:09,084
- I love you, buddy. Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
278
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:14,962
Pro football star Josh Brown.
I love you, buddy. Right here.
279
00:28:15,101 --> 00:28:16,295
Fucking A!
280
00:28:16,436 --> 00:28:18,370
- On the mouth.
- You're a man.
281
00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:23,269
April, what kind of glue is this?
282
00:28:23,409 --> 00:28:27,106
- Super Mighty Glue.
- This is Super Mighty Glue,
283
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,681
and we're going to have
a little fun with it today.
284
00:28:30,617 --> 00:28:32,608
Who's got tummy hair?
285
00:28:32,752 --> 00:28:34,219
Not me.
286
00:28:35,888 --> 00:28:38,379
- You have tummy hair?
- I have a fraction.
287
00:28:41,794 --> 00:28:43,921
- That's definitely tummy hair.
- That's tummy hair.
288
00:28:45,198 --> 00:28:47,359
- You guys got tummy hair.
- Now we're talking.
289
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:51,300
Looks like we got cast for this bit.
290
00:28:51,437 --> 00:28:53,837
- Don't get it on his fingers.
- You don't need a lot, they say.
291
00:28:53,973 --> 00:28:58,069
A dab'll do ya.
Oh, Knoxville, Jesus!
292
00:28:58,211 --> 00:28:59,974
No, I think this is gonna work.
293
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,978
All right. We ready?
294
00:29:02,115 --> 00:29:03,104
Ready, then?
295
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:05,774
Oh, my God!
296
00:29:05,918 --> 00:29:08,443
Now. Oh, my God!
297
00:29:08,588 --> 00:29:10,317
Keep it on there. Keep it on.
Keep it on there.
298
00:29:10,456 --> 00:29:11,980
Dude, it's gonna take my skin off.
299
00:29:12,125 --> 00:29:13,990
You're gonna have hairy palms.
300
00:29:15,895 --> 00:29:17,556
Wait. I kind of like it
when Preston says...
301
00:29:17,697 --> 00:29:19,460
Fuck!
302
00:29:21,534 --> 00:29:25,129
- It's not moving.
- What do you like Preston to say?
303
00:29:27,406 --> 00:29:29,533
Get a little symphony going.
304
00:29:38,084 --> 00:29:39,574
Dude, this is in.
305
00:29:39,719 --> 00:29:41,084
Should they pull it?
306
00:29:41,220 --> 00:29:43,154
We don't need any more time, dude.
It is in.
307
00:29:43,289 --> 00:29:45,883
You got at least 15 grams of super glue.
308
00:29:46,025 --> 00:29:47,322
- Pull it! Pull it!
- Really?
309
00:29:47,460 --> 00:29:50,020
- Three, two, one...
- Skin's coming, I know it. Go, Bam!
310
00:29:58,738 --> 00:30:00,296
He's a werewolf!
311
00:30:00,439 --> 00:30:01,428
Werewolf!
312
00:30:05,444 --> 00:30:08,311
That is mingin'-ass Phil's.
313
00:30:08,447 --> 00:30:12,042
Preston's is pretty gross,
but that is disgusting!
314
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,347
Wow!
315
00:30:23,129 --> 00:30:25,962
No, don't pour that
on your boo-boo hand.
316
00:30:37,076 --> 00:30:39,806
- It stings.
- That's gotta hurt.
317
00:30:39,946 --> 00:30:42,972
Hey, Dunn. Do you have
any hair on your butt?
318
00:30:43,115 --> 00:30:45,640
- No.
- Do you want some?
319
00:30:45,785 --> 00:30:48,345
I'm thinking I'm about
due for a hairy ass, yeah.
320
00:30:48,487 --> 00:30:50,751
I'm in my 30s, it hasn't
grown in natural yet.
321
00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:52,255
So I think we're gonna
have to do a transplant.
322
00:30:52,391 --> 00:30:54,325
Phil, can I borrow
some of your back hair?
323
00:30:54,460 --> 00:30:56,394
Yeah, like having you
sit on my back?
324
00:30:56,529 --> 00:30:58,258
I'm thinking about
becoming a real man.
325
00:30:58,397 --> 00:31:00,092
Sure, I'll lay down
and you can sit on it.
326
00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:02,861
- OK, Rake.
- You ready to go? Let's do it.
327
00:31:03,002 --> 00:31:04,629
Ryan, do you shave your ass?
328
00:31:04,770 --> 00:31:08,467
Shave my... Look at me!
Do I shave my ass?
329
00:31:08,608 --> 00:31:10,405
I don't know
what a razor feels like.
330
00:31:10,543 --> 00:31:12,841
Apparently, you don't know what
toilet paper feels like either.
331
00:31:12,979 --> 00:31:15,140
- I don't!
- Make sure it's clean.
332
00:31:15,281 --> 00:31:16,873
All right, go, go, go!
You gotta sit!
333
00:31:17,016 --> 00:31:19,484
- Sit! Sit! Sit!
- Sit down.
334
00:31:24,523 --> 00:31:26,616
Time it, two minutes
on the clock.
335
00:31:28,628 --> 00:31:30,528
- Phil, you all right down there?
- Yeah.
336
00:31:30,663 --> 00:31:33,097
- Consider this a bonding experience.
- Okay.
337
00:31:33,232 --> 00:31:34,563
You got about 30 seconds.
338
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:36,691
Well, if I can't get
Phil's hair off of me,
339
00:31:36,836 --> 00:31:40,431
then, you know, I'd really
rather prefer a ZZ Top beard.
340
00:31:45,344 --> 00:31:48,745
Fucking asshole!
You dickhead!
341
00:31:49,248 --> 00:31:51,409
- That's not gonna come off.
- No fucking shit!
342
00:31:51,550 --> 00:31:53,108
That's not gonna come off.
343
00:31:53,252 --> 00:31:55,777
It's going to come off.
It's going to come off.
344
00:31:58,791 --> 00:32:01,385
You fucking, fucking pricks.
345
00:32:01,527 --> 00:32:04,052
- Okay, Dunn, stand up.
- Dunn, you're up. Stand up.
346
00:32:04,196 --> 00:32:05,493
Let's see if you got
some hair on your butt.
347
00:32:05,631 --> 00:32:07,963
- Ready? Go.
- One, two...
348
00:32:11,871 --> 00:32:14,396
- What the hell?
- Your butt looks 80 years old.
349
00:32:14,540 --> 00:32:17,976
- Does it?
- Somebody should iron you.
350
00:32:18,110 --> 00:32:20,169
- Look at Phil's back.
- Let me see.
351
00:32:20,313 --> 00:32:22,406
Man, you're missing
a lot of hair in there.
352
00:32:22,548 --> 00:32:24,038
But no doo-doo stains, right?
353
00:32:24,183 --> 00:32:25,616
- No.
- Not so much.
354
00:32:25,751 --> 00:32:26,809
All right, good.
355
00:32:26,953 --> 00:32:28,716
Why'd you grip it like that?
356
00:32:28,854 --> 00:32:31,721
Why you biting off of Preston's steez
by going...?
357
00:32:35,227 --> 00:32:36,956
Wait a minute, hold
those scissors down.
358
00:32:37,096 --> 00:32:40,554
Oh, you son of a bitch.
359
00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:42,759
I have a free hand.
360
00:32:45,671 --> 00:32:47,298
Hello!
361
00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:50,373
- Here, I'll be like this to catch him.
- All right, you catch him.
362
00:32:50,509 --> 00:32:51,908
Ryan, do you want
your pants up, first?
363
00:32:52,044 --> 00:32:54,376
Catch me. Catch Knox.
364
00:32:54,513 --> 00:32:56,708
- Grab Bam.
- No, keep your pants down.
365
00:32:56,849 --> 00:33:00,649
- I don't want my balls hanging out.
- Ready then? Three...
366
00:33:00,786 --> 00:33:02,481
Man, this is gonna suck.
367
00:33:02,621 --> 00:33:04,987
Three, two, go.
368
00:33:09,161 --> 00:33:13,393
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
369
00:33:14,233 --> 00:33:16,599
Fuck me, man.
370
00:33:18,204 --> 00:33:19,831
What a bunch of dicks.
371
00:33:19,972 --> 00:33:21,701
That's worse than Phil.
372
00:33:23,709 --> 00:33:26,075
All right.
Wee Man, what are you doing?
373
00:33:26,212 --> 00:33:28,077
You take the cake, bub.
374
00:33:28,214 --> 00:33:30,079
You won't come out that easy.
375
00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:33,276
Why don't you want to glue
Wee Man to Preston?
376
00:33:36,222 --> 00:33:38,816
- Yes.
- I should lay down,
377
00:33:38,958 --> 00:33:40,619
and you should lay down on top of me.
378
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,024
- Woof.
- Going right for it.
379
00:33:43,162 --> 00:33:44,390
Like this?
380
00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:47,696
- I think like this.
- No.
381
00:33:51,971 --> 00:33:53,700
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
382
00:33:53,839 --> 00:33:56,467
- A 69.
- Glued into 69.
383
00:33:56,609 --> 00:33:58,702
I think that's the best way.
384
00:33:59,845 --> 00:34:02,473
Well, fucking lube him up
or lube me up!
385
00:34:02,615 --> 00:34:04,708
- Let's go!
- Where's the glue?
386
00:34:12,591 --> 00:34:14,582
- That's good.
- OK, OK, OK!
387
00:34:14,727 --> 00:34:16,126
- Knoxville!
- Sorry.
388
00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:18,127
Asshole!
389
00:34:18,264 --> 00:34:20,664
We're really bros now.
390
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,995
You should see it from where I'm at.
391
00:34:24,470 --> 00:34:25,903
Oh, no.
392
00:34:28,007 --> 00:34:31,966
Hold it. Two minutes!
Someone time it.
393
00:34:32,111 --> 00:34:36,047
Two minutes is the longest
69 I've ever fuckin' done!
394
00:34:36,182 --> 00:34:39,743
- How do you plan on un-69-ing?
- I have no fucking idea.
395
00:34:39,885 --> 00:34:43,048
- I got an idea how to get him off.
- Slide them down the table, this way.
396
00:34:43,189 --> 00:34:44,315
- No!
- What?
397
00:34:45,057 --> 00:34:47,116
No, don't... Nicely.
398
00:34:47,259 --> 00:34:49,022
Somebody go get me the stun gun.
399
00:34:49,161 --> 00:34:50,628
No!
400
00:34:50,763 --> 00:34:53,197
Yeah! Go get it! Get the stun gun!
401
00:34:53,332 --> 00:34:55,994
I'm pulling off!
I'm pulling off! No! No! No!
402
00:34:56,135 --> 00:34:58,763
That's not fucking cool! No, no!
403
00:35:01,774 --> 00:35:02,900
Fuck!
404
00:35:05,044 --> 00:35:07,308
Look at my fucking nipple!
405
00:35:09,915 --> 00:35:14,648
My fucking armpit kills!
Phil, pull it off.
406
00:35:14,787 --> 00:35:18,655
- For real? Where, here?
- What's this from?
407
00:35:18,791 --> 00:35:20,122
I can't. Let Ap do it.
408
00:35:20,259 --> 00:35:23,558
- Yank it off.
- Ready, ready, ready...
409
00:35:23,996 --> 00:35:24,985
Stop that.
410
00:35:25,631 --> 00:35:27,462
I think that's it for Super Mighty Glue.
411
00:35:27,499 --> 00:35:29,023
I think that's it for Super Mighty Glue.
412
00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:32,069
Thank God none of us had that
foreskin you were talking about.
413
00:35:33,939 --> 00:35:35,736
Does anyone have foreskin?
414
00:35:35,874 --> 00:35:37,899
Anybody. Now's the time
to raise your hand.
415
00:35:38,043 --> 00:35:39,032
Yeah.
416
00:35:40,913 --> 00:35:42,574
Three, two, one, go!
417
00:36:43,175 --> 00:36:45,006
Chicas.
418
00:36:48,447 --> 00:36:50,574
Sorry. I hit my wrong button.
419
00:37:05,197 --> 00:37:07,188
Give me my leg! Help!
420
00:37:08,434 --> 00:37:10,129
Give me my leg!
421
00:37:10,269 --> 00:37:14,137
That mutt's got my leg! Stop! Thief!
422
00:37:14,273 --> 00:37:15,672
- Hey!
- Where you going?
423
00:37:25,984 --> 00:37:27,451
Oh, God.
424
00:37:36,094 --> 00:37:39,757
I went to the bathroom.
I have to change.
425
00:37:47,072 --> 00:37:50,200
Run, run, run
run, run, run, run!
426
00:37:50,342 --> 00:37:52,810
Run, run, run, run, run!
427
00:37:54,146 --> 00:37:55,807
Hey, man.
What are you doing, man?
428
00:37:55,948 --> 00:38:00,749
I messed myself. I messed myself.
429
00:38:00,886 --> 00:38:03,354
- Can you help me?
- Hell, no. You going to clean it?
430
00:38:03,489 --> 00:38:06,947
I'm cleaning it!
If you'll get off my case.
431
00:38:08,494 --> 00:38:10,758
Hello. My name is Irving Zisman.
432
00:38:10,896 --> 00:38:12,955
This is my grandson, Murray,
433
00:38:13,098 --> 00:38:16,158
and today, we're
going to go buy a scooter.
434
00:38:20,372 --> 00:38:22,499
Wow, what a lovely place.
435
00:38:26,378 --> 00:38:29,006
Good selection.
436
00:38:30,549 --> 00:38:33,916
- How you doing, sir?
- Good. I'm with my grandson.
437
00:38:34,052 --> 00:38:35,212
- Oh, very nice.
- Yeah.
438
00:38:35,354 --> 00:38:38,323
- How much does this cost?
- That's running about $2,000.
439
00:38:38,457 --> 00:38:40,948
Two thousand?
What'd I do, break something?
440
00:38:42,227 --> 00:38:43,251
My goodness.
441
00:38:43,395 --> 00:38:45,260
What were you looking at
over there, Murray?
442
00:38:45,397 --> 00:38:47,126
Just a couple of bikes down there.
443
00:38:47,266 --> 00:38:50,258
Tell me a little bit
about this one here.
444
00:38:50,402 --> 00:38:52,802
This is nice. I'll put it back.
445
00:38:52,938 --> 00:38:54,428
- I'll be right back.
- OK.
446
00:39:08,921 --> 00:39:10,445
Holy shit!
447
00:39:16,828 --> 00:39:20,423
Fuck. Did I hit the wrong button?
448
00:39:20,566 --> 00:39:23,296
What happened? Are you OK?
449
00:39:23,435 --> 00:39:25,232
Sir, would you like me
to call the paramedics?
450
00:39:25,370 --> 00:39:26,894
No, I'm fine!
451
00:39:27,039 --> 00:39:29,906
- What happened?
- The old dude just took off.
452
00:39:31,577 --> 00:39:35,308
Some guy just fuckin'
went through the thing.
453
00:39:35,447 --> 00:39:38,041
How'd he come through here?
He came through here?
454
00:39:39,117 --> 00:39:40,414
He went out that way.
455
00:39:40,552 --> 00:39:42,019
How'd he go out that way?
456
00:39:46,491 --> 00:39:48,220
I think he's all right.
457
00:39:49,328 --> 00:39:50,590
Oh, my goodness.
458
00:39:58,470 --> 00:40:00,131
Up yours!
459
00:40:04,610 --> 00:40:06,942
I'm Pontius the Barbarian,
460
00:40:07,079 --> 00:40:09,377
and now the day has come
to slay the foul beast,
461
00:40:09,514 --> 00:40:11,482
the devil's brethren.
462
00:40:16,088 --> 00:40:19,615
Come, beast. Come meet your doom.
463
00:40:23,362 --> 00:40:26,354
Oh, you sour beast!
464
00:40:30,636 --> 00:40:33,628
You swine of the darkness!
465
00:40:33,772 --> 00:40:36,366
I've long awaited
this blood orgy, you...
466
00:40:38,510 --> 00:40:40,501
Fool! More!
467
00:40:41,513 --> 00:40:43,105
Fool! He's got me!
468
00:40:50,122 --> 00:40:52,647
Fuck! Goddamn it, get me out of here!
469
00:40:53,759 --> 00:40:54,919
Fuck!
470
00:40:55,060 --> 00:40:57,051
Dude, fuck this shit.
471
00:40:59,998 --> 00:41:02,398
- What happened?
- I'm fucking over it.
472
00:41:06,204 --> 00:41:09,264
- It got you good right here.
- I know, it got me good a lot.
473
00:41:11,543 --> 00:41:13,977
You got bit and stung,
so mission accomplished.
474
00:41:14,112 --> 00:41:16,273
I'm fucking pissed.
475
00:41:16,415 --> 00:41:18,815
What'd you think
was going to happen?
476
00:41:22,220 --> 00:41:24,484
Up a little. Yeah, right there.
477
00:41:27,492 --> 00:41:29,960
Oh, shit.
478
00:41:33,899 --> 00:41:36,629
We're here with BMX legend
Mat Hoffman,
479
00:41:36,768 --> 00:41:38,599
and this is a Sweatsuit Cocktail.
480
00:41:51,650 --> 00:41:54,813
So I guess the idea is
for the sweat to dribble down
481
00:41:54,953 --> 00:41:59,515
into the funnel, into the cup.
That's rinky-dink, even for us.
482
00:41:59,658 --> 00:42:02,286
That's coming right out of the ass.
483
00:42:03,395 --> 00:42:06,523
We probably need a doctor.
484
00:42:08,767 --> 00:42:10,257
You almost have a drop.
485
00:42:10,402 --> 00:42:12,529
Man, it's fucking hot in this!
486
00:42:13,305 --> 00:42:15,136
Steve-O, face.
487
00:42:15,273 --> 00:42:17,104
- What's that?
- Face.
488
00:42:17,242 --> 00:42:18,937
Looks like white gravy.
489
00:42:19,077 --> 00:42:21,204
Sop his face.
Bring the cup down a little bit.
490
00:42:23,982 --> 00:42:26,473
- Get it, get it!
- Oh, shit!
491
00:42:26,618 --> 00:42:30,349
- Is that pee-pee or sweat?
- It's sweat, dude. Get it!
492
00:42:30,489 --> 00:42:32,548
Wring that out, Steve-O.
493
00:42:35,961 --> 00:42:37,826
We're losing Lance, guys.
494
00:42:37,963 --> 00:42:39,430
What?
495
00:42:40,799 --> 00:42:43,029
What is...? His head's bobbing.
496
00:42:43,168 --> 00:42:47,571
Lance, you all right?
I think we just broke him again.
497
00:42:54,179 --> 00:42:55,510
You OK?
498
00:42:55,647 --> 00:42:58,673
- You need the camera?
- Yeah...
499
00:42:58,817 --> 00:43:00,512
- The camera help you not get sick?
- Yeah, I'm...
500
00:43:00,652 --> 00:43:02,779
All right, give him the camera so he...
501
00:43:02,921 --> 00:43:04,218
Got it? You good?
502
00:43:07,492 --> 00:43:10,120
Hey, someone follow me down the crack.
503
00:43:15,066 --> 00:43:18,058
OK, here we go.
504
00:43:18,203 --> 00:43:21,604
Steve-O! Steve-O! Lord!
505
00:43:21,740 --> 00:43:23,469
Sorry! Sorry.
506
00:43:25,610 --> 00:43:28,078
A prostate exam going on back there.
507
00:43:28,213 --> 00:43:30,340
Fuck sake, dude.
508
00:43:32,617 --> 00:43:35,609
Here, let's take this shit off
and wring out the suit.
509
00:43:37,823 --> 00:43:40,155
That makes me want to puke.
510
00:43:41,159 --> 00:43:44,094
This is the first cocktail
you've had in two years, right?
511
00:43:44,229 --> 00:43:46,720
Yeah. Here's to good health.
512
00:43:48,633 --> 00:43:50,498
Chug that whole thing, Steve-O.
513
00:44:02,647 --> 00:44:04,444
I think the cam...
514
00:44:06,785 --> 00:44:09,049
Don't puke on that heater.
515
00:44:09,187 --> 00:44:10,518
You're puking on...
516
00:44:10,655 --> 00:44:13,522
Give me your camera.
You're puking right on your lens.
517
00:44:17,262 --> 00:44:19,127
Here, we gotta like...
518
00:44:28,406 --> 00:44:31,842
We're really falling apart here.
519
00:44:31,977 --> 00:44:34,571
- Jesus.
- I love you, bro.
520
00:44:34,713 --> 00:44:36,704
He just puked all over his camera.
521
00:44:36,848 --> 00:44:39,146
That was the Sweatsuit Cocktail.
522
00:44:39,284 --> 00:44:41,343
- Seriously.
- Yeah, brother.
523
00:44:42,687 --> 00:44:44,348
My name is Santy Claus,
524
00:44:44,489 --> 00:44:48,118
and I'm here with the Dudesons,
and this is the Christmas Tree.
525
00:44:48,260 --> 00:44:49,249
Timber!
526
00:44:49,394 --> 00:44:52,420
- Santa and elf is coming down hard.
- Yes!
527
00:44:54,165 --> 00:44:57,328
Santa ain't climbed a tree
in quite a while.
528
00:44:57,469 --> 00:45:00,870
And, I am gonna be honest,
Santa did have a couple last night.
529
00:45:01,006 --> 00:45:04,737
So... this ain't gonna feel too good.
530
00:45:04,876 --> 00:45:06,901
I'm just here to enjoy the ride.
531
00:45:07,045 --> 00:45:09,172
How do you get started?
532
00:45:09,314 --> 00:45:11,509
- You need a hand?
- F, yes! Santa needs a hand.
533
00:45:11,650 --> 00:45:14,414
I just love that they're
climbing up a 40-foot tree,
534
00:45:14,552 --> 00:45:16,713
and they're gonna have
a 60-foot drop and it's
535
00:45:16,855 --> 00:45:19,449
- the top of the morning.
- Top of the morning to you!
536
00:45:19,591 --> 00:45:23,459
- Santa looking good!
- Santa's fucking tired.
537
00:45:25,363 --> 00:45:27,729
Santa can barely hold on,
so let's go.
538
00:45:29,234 --> 00:45:32,761
That was the hard part!
Now comes the easy part.
539
00:45:32,904 --> 00:45:34,462
Bring out the saw!
540
00:45:40,946 --> 00:45:42,937
They're letting Jarppi
work the chainsaw.
541
00:45:43,081 --> 00:45:44,844
He's never touched a chainsaw before.
542
00:45:44,983 --> 00:45:48,612
He's got one thumb.
How's he gonna hit the trigger?
543
00:45:48,753 --> 00:45:50,744
He's gonna have no thumbs after this.
544
00:45:51,790 --> 00:45:53,883
You ever get scared in these moments?
545
00:45:54,893 --> 00:45:55,882
Yeah.
546
00:45:56,027 --> 00:45:59,360
Push it! Push it the other way!
547
00:45:59,497 --> 00:46:01,692
Jarppi, cut out!
548
00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:03,494
Yeah, but you got to push!
549
00:46:03,635 --> 00:46:05,500
There it goes, there it goes!
550
00:46:05,637 --> 00:46:07,502
Timber!
551
00:46:12,677 --> 00:46:13,837
Fuck!
552
00:46:15,513 --> 00:46:17,572
Santa's coming out!
Are you all right?
553
00:46:19,651 --> 00:46:22,449
I fell on the tree... on my ass!
554
00:46:22,587 --> 00:46:24,179
- You fell on the tree?
- Yeah.
555
00:46:24,756 --> 00:46:26,087
But you're alive.
556
00:46:27,926 --> 00:46:30,520
You good?
557
00:46:30,662 --> 00:46:35,690
Santa, I think that's the only proper
way to get yourself a Christmas tree.
558
00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:37,665
With all that sleigh riding I do,
559
00:46:37,802 --> 00:46:40,464
Santa really doesn't like heights,
I found out.
560
00:46:43,608 --> 00:46:46,839
I'm Danger Ehren, and this
is Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
561
00:46:51,116 --> 00:46:52,105
You got it.
562
00:46:52,250 --> 00:46:55,549
Let me spin you around.
Spin you around.
563
00:46:58,189 --> 00:47:00,657
OK. Spread your legs.
564
00:47:03,228 --> 00:47:04,286
Tail up higher.
565
00:47:11,069 --> 00:47:12,696
- Where'd he hit you?
- It didn't.
566
00:47:12,837 --> 00:47:14,634
Where the fuck
do you think it hit me?
567
00:47:14,773 --> 00:47:16,570
Look, damn it!
568
00:47:17,609 --> 00:47:19,372
Put that tail on that donkey.
569
00:47:19,511 --> 00:47:21,706
OK, it's just a donkey.
570
00:47:26,851 --> 00:47:28,512
Spread legs... spread legs.
571
00:47:28,653 --> 00:47:30,211
That's good.
572
00:47:30,355 --> 00:47:31,652
Get your dick lower.
573
00:47:33,458 --> 00:47:36,256
You're going good. Spread legs.
574
00:47:36,394 --> 00:47:38,055
Your walk is just amazing.
575
00:47:40,465 --> 00:47:41,932
Straight, straight.
576
00:47:43,134 --> 00:47:45,329
You're getting warm.
577
00:47:49,908 --> 00:47:51,170
I heard that.
578
00:47:54,379 --> 00:47:57,974
It got me in the dick!
It got me in the dick!
579
00:47:58,116 --> 00:48:00,346
I see the hoofprint on his ding-ding.
580
00:48:02,954 --> 00:48:06,617
Fuck! I don't want to do that
anymore, if that's OK.
581
00:48:38,723 --> 00:48:40,122
Hello...
582
00:48:40,258 --> 00:48:41,657
Hello. My name is Johnny Knoxville.
583
00:48:41,793 --> 00:48:46,355
We have professional football
players Erik Ainge, Jared Allen,
584
00:48:46,498 --> 00:48:50,195
and our referee today,
Seann William Scott.
585
00:48:50,335 --> 00:48:51,700
This is the Blindside.
586
00:48:57,876 --> 00:49:00,174
- I didn't do it, Wee Man.
- I know.
587
00:49:00,311 --> 00:49:02,404
I didn't do it.
Jared, why did you do that?
588
00:49:02,547 --> 00:49:05,038
I really got lost in the moment.
589
00:49:05,183 --> 00:49:07,048
Let's get this shit over with.
590
00:49:13,825 --> 00:49:15,918
Blue... 24!
591
00:49:16,060 --> 00:49:18,051
Blue... 24! Hut!
592
00:49:22,333 --> 00:49:23,561
Oh, my God.
593
00:49:31,709 --> 00:49:33,939
Looks like you didn't
block him, Preston.
594
00:49:34,078 --> 00:49:37,707
You just planted me
in the fucking ground!
595
00:49:40,385 --> 00:49:41,784
That felt like shit.
596
00:49:42,386 --> 00:49:45,116
Have you ever played
linebacker before?
597
00:49:45,256 --> 00:49:47,986
- Years and years ago.
- You think you can give it a try?
598
00:49:49,527 --> 00:49:51,586
Quickly review. What's your job?
599
00:49:51,729 --> 00:49:53,458
Murder Knoxville's face.
600
00:49:54,899 --> 00:49:57,333
- What's your job?
- Catch the ball.
601
00:49:57,468 --> 00:49:59,265
- I mean...
- Let's do this!
602
00:49:59,403 --> 00:50:00,734
I mean, catch the ball.
603
00:50:00,871 --> 00:50:02,600
Do you think Knoxville's
gonna catch the ball?
604
00:50:02,740 --> 00:50:04,207
- Nope.
- Who gives a shit?
605
00:50:08,412 --> 00:50:11,609
Hey, Jared! Don't hit me
with your purse this time!
606
00:50:15,653 --> 00:50:17,780
Nice wristband, douche.
607
00:50:20,124 --> 00:50:21,284
Ten hut!
608
00:50:33,170 --> 00:50:34,467
Did I catch it?
609
00:50:34,605 --> 00:50:37,096
People don't realize
football's a game of physics.
610
00:50:37,241 --> 00:50:39,072
Speed and velocity equals that.
611
00:50:46,483 --> 00:50:50,180
- Good game. See you in the showers.
- Good game. See you in the showers.
612
00:50:52,923 --> 00:50:54,652
Oh, fuck!
613
00:50:56,594 --> 00:50:58,789
That was perfect. That was perfect.
614
00:51:00,631 --> 00:51:04,226
This is our friend, Will,
and he has a very special bottom.
615
00:51:12,743 --> 00:51:14,472
Dude, you are one mingin' machine.
616
00:51:14,612 --> 00:51:17,012
You ready? All right,
come on, dude, let's party.
617
00:51:35,332 --> 00:51:37,892
- What about the trumpet?
- All right. Here he goes.
618
00:51:38,035 --> 00:51:40,299
You're bringing jazz back
to the working man.
619
00:51:48,045 --> 00:51:50,707
- We're on to something here.
- That's talent!
620
00:51:52,483 --> 00:51:54,348
Hey, bud, dude,
can I bum a smoke?
621
00:51:59,823 --> 00:52:01,188
Wait.
622
00:52:10,668 --> 00:52:12,260
Bottoms up.
623
00:52:16,807 --> 00:52:18,798
There's shit on the end...
624
00:52:22,112 --> 00:52:23,306
Is there shit on the end?
625
00:52:23,447 --> 00:52:25,472
- There's shit on there.
- Hey, look at this shit.
626
00:52:31,555 --> 00:52:33,819
I saw it.
627
00:52:37,728 --> 00:52:40,720
- That's fucking gross.
- Dude, that was fucking mingin'.
628
00:52:42,299 --> 00:52:44,028
Let's get out the dart gun.
629
00:52:44,168 --> 00:52:46,693
- Yeah.
- There you go.
630
00:52:46,837 --> 00:52:50,238
Luckily, we had it handy.
631
00:52:50,374 --> 00:52:53,673
- Do you want to practice?
- Let's get a balloon.
632
00:52:53,811 --> 00:52:56,837
- Does it need to go down lower?
- Yeah, go lower.
633
00:52:58,048 --> 00:52:59,743
You got it. You got it.
634
00:52:59,883 --> 00:53:01,441
You might want to tuck
your nuts up.
635
00:53:01,585 --> 00:53:05,817
No, no, no! I think you should leave
your legs just a little agape.
636
00:53:05,956 --> 00:53:08,356
Steve-O, don't get your balls
in the way. You'll hurt 'em.
637
00:53:10,094 --> 00:53:11,220
- Is this sucking in?
- Yeah, he's sucking in.
638
00:53:11,829 --> 00:53:15,230
- Trippin' out.
- I'm seriously trippin'.
639
00:53:15,366 --> 00:53:17,766
You wanna try the longer... Hey!
640
00:53:29,313 --> 00:53:32,407
My name's Johnny Knoxville
and this is Bad Dog.
641
00:53:38,055 --> 00:53:40,250
Oklahoma! Oklahoma!
642
00:53:41,859 --> 00:53:42,951
Fuck!
643
00:53:43,727 --> 00:53:45,388
Oh, my ass meat!
644
00:53:55,272 --> 00:53:58,105
That dog... is athletic.
645
00:53:59,910 --> 00:54:01,104
My ass hurts.
646
00:54:01,812 --> 00:54:05,646
Lance, can you tell
I've been doing squats?
647
00:54:05,783 --> 00:54:08,411
You know, I couldn't
have done this on the first...
648
00:54:09,286 --> 00:54:11,277
...two movies, because
649
00:54:11,422 --> 00:54:14,357
I never really did squats
or anything then,
650
00:54:14,491 --> 00:54:17,153
but now I've been really
working out my butt and legs,
651
00:54:17,294 --> 00:54:20,559
and it gave the dog
something to bite on.
652
00:54:20,697 --> 00:54:22,927
Pretty good something
to bite on, if you ask me.
653
00:54:23,066 --> 00:54:24,727
Yeah.
654
00:54:26,537 --> 00:54:29,199
I'm Chris Pontius,
and this is the Helicockter.
655
00:54:35,579 --> 00:54:37,308
Oh, no, you're flying it.
656
00:54:39,450 --> 00:54:41,315
Yeah!
657
00:54:52,596 --> 00:54:55,326
- Throttle back, throttle back!
- Throttle back!
658
00:54:56,199 --> 00:54:57,860
Throttle back. Throttle back.
659
00:55:00,470 --> 00:55:02,404
Oh, God!
660
00:55:02,539 --> 00:55:05,099
Well, so much for my aviation career.
661
00:55:05,242 --> 00:55:08,678
Oh, God. So much for my love life.
662
00:55:19,055 --> 00:55:20,044
Yo, Novak.
663
00:55:20,190 --> 00:55:23,956
- Oh, my God!
- Holy fuck!
664
00:55:24,094 --> 00:55:25,857
Oh, my God!
665
00:55:27,364 --> 00:55:30,424
- Are you all right?
- Oh, my God!
666
00:55:30,567 --> 00:55:33,900
Dude, you have no idea
how fucking perfect that was.
667
00:55:34,037 --> 00:55:36,028
Help me up. No, not that way.
668
00:55:38,742 --> 00:55:40,937
Dude, we gotta see that shit.
669
00:55:41,077 --> 00:55:43,773
Dude, it hit so fucking hard, my face...
670
00:55:46,983 --> 00:55:49,816
- That's the brake.
- Look at the weld.
671
00:55:49,953 --> 00:55:52,922
- I've had stronger silverware.
- How fast does it go?
672
00:55:53,056 --> 00:55:55,923
It's kind of fast
for being as cruddy as they are.
673
00:55:56,059 --> 00:55:59,460
- So you're saying he might make it.
- He'll definitely make it.
674
00:55:59,596 --> 00:56:01,791
- Dude, you got this.
- Nothing.
675
00:56:02,399 --> 00:56:03,661
Nothing.
676
00:56:05,602 --> 00:56:09,732
What's the furthest you've jumped
a motorcycle before?
677
00:56:09,873 --> 00:56:11,932
I haven't jumped a motorcycle.
678
00:56:14,711 --> 00:56:18,010
- So this will be your record.
- Yeah. I'm breaking records.
679
00:56:18,148 --> 00:56:21,584
I'm doing the Snake River
Redemption and, hopefully,
680
00:56:21,718 --> 00:56:24,209
if all goes as planned,
I will create a perfect rainbow,
681
00:56:24,354 --> 00:56:26,845
ending up in Wee Man's pot of gold.
682
00:56:27,490 --> 00:56:29,253
Or on Wee Man.
683
00:56:29,392 --> 00:56:30,984
- Either way.
- Either way works.
684
00:56:31,127 --> 00:56:34,688
The proud owner
of Wee Man's Chronic Tacos!
685
00:56:36,566 --> 00:56:40,093
At least your run-up ramp
looks like a piece of microwave bacon.
686
00:56:41,171 --> 00:56:43,105
Uphill!
687
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:45,571
A very patriotic, microwave bacon.
688
00:56:45,709 --> 00:56:47,677
Just aim for the fucking leprechaun.
689
00:56:47,811 --> 00:56:50,075
I'm gonna try
and take out the leprechaun.
690
00:56:50,213 --> 00:56:52,943
- Land in the gold.
- Steal his gold.
691
00:56:53,083 --> 00:56:56,917
Whatever. Let's fucking get it over with
and go have some fucking tacos!
692
00:57:18,475 --> 00:57:19,703
Shit!
693
00:57:21,311 --> 00:57:23,074
- Fuck yeah!
- You all right?
694
00:57:28,952 --> 00:57:30,817
You OK?
695
00:57:30,954 --> 00:57:32,478
We got a Dunn down!
696
00:57:37,761 --> 00:57:39,661
You done good!
697
00:57:39,796 --> 00:57:41,263
That was fucking awesome.
698
00:57:41,398 --> 00:57:43,161
That was awesome, Dunn!
699
00:57:45,902 --> 00:57:49,030
Dude, that thing is squirrelly as shit!
700
00:57:49,172 --> 00:57:51,231
That was so amazing!
701
00:57:51,374 --> 00:57:54,969
I think it's time
for a Wee Man's Chronic Taco replay.
702
00:58:03,186 --> 00:58:05,051
Redemption is made!
703
00:58:09,726 --> 00:58:12,490
I'm Preston Lacy,
and this is the Apple of My Ass.
704
00:58:14,864 --> 00:58:16,798
- Want me to put it in, P?
- Put her in.
705
00:58:16,933 --> 00:58:17,922
Help me out, O.
706
00:58:18,068 --> 00:58:20,195
- What about the apple?
- I got it.
707
00:58:23,506 --> 00:58:26,100
- Is it in there pretty good?
- I think so. I think so.
708
00:58:26,242 --> 00:58:28,005
- A little deeper.
- I can make it fit way better.
709
00:58:28,144 --> 00:58:30,704
- A little deeper.
- What?
710
00:58:30,847 --> 00:58:33,839
- Hold it open, I'll put it in.
- There we go. That's in good.
711
00:58:33,983 --> 00:58:36,349
- Oh, Steve-O.
- My balls.
712
00:58:39,889 --> 00:58:42,084
Hold on.
713
00:58:42,225 --> 00:58:44,216
You don't like apple
and peanut butter?
714
00:58:47,330 --> 00:58:49,127
- Bring in Bob.
- Come on, Bob!
715
00:58:49,265 --> 00:58:51,699
Oh, don't bring in Bob.
716
00:58:51,835 --> 00:58:53,700
- Come on, Bob.
- Oh, my God.
717
00:58:53,837 --> 00:58:56,203
- Make him work for it.
- Come on, Bob.
718
00:58:56,339 --> 00:58:58,500
- Poor Bob.
- Come on, Bob.
719
00:58:58,641 --> 00:59:00,006
- Get it, Bob.
- He smells.
720
00:59:00,143 --> 00:59:02,703
Come on, Bobby. Bob-Bob. Bob-Bob.
721
00:59:02,846 --> 00:59:04,973
- The old forbidden fruit.
- Come on, Bob.
722
00:59:06,783 --> 00:59:08,978
- The Garden of Eatin'.
- Come on, Bob!
723
00:59:09,119 --> 00:59:10,711
Grip it, grip it.
724
00:59:14,257 --> 00:59:16,122
Bob.
725
00:59:18,528 --> 00:59:20,189
He really got in there.
726
00:59:20,330 --> 00:59:21,319
Oh, he's going back for more.
727
00:59:21,464 --> 00:59:23,625
Don't move.
He's going back for more.
728
00:59:23,766 --> 00:59:25,529
Good, baby.
729
00:59:25,668 --> 00:59:27,295
Put it back in there? OK.
730
00:59:28,104 --> 00:59:32,700
- Is that Bob?
- Oh, man.
731
00:59:32,842 --> 00:59:33,900
It's in there!
732
00:59:37,580 --> 00:59:39,639
It's still in there!
Get back down there!
733
00:59:39,782 --> 00:59:41,249
Get back down. It's still in.
734
00:59:41,384 --> 00:59:47,050
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
735
00:59:51,161 --> 00:59:53,891
- Can I move this?
- Still have an apple in your ass?
736
00:59:54,030 --> 00:59:55,190
Got it out.
737
01:00:00,336 --> 01:00:02,133
Why did you do that, Jeff?
738
01:00:06,943 --> 01:00:10,344
See, Bob? I told you it's not
that hard to get into a movie.
739
01:00:43,245 --> 01:00:45,372
- You got it?
- Oh, no!
740
01:00:52,588 --> 01:00:55,421
I was checking out my new
haircut in the mirror.
741
01:00:55,558 --> 01:00:58,049
I was talking to Wee Man
over there, then I heard a...
742
01:00:58,194 --> 01:01:00,719
I'm like, "What was that?"
"I know what that was."
743
01:01:00,863 --> 01:01:02,490
Kinda hurt my nose.
744
01:01:05,868 --> 01:01:08,666
It's like way, way up in my brain.
745
01:01:10,606 --> 01:01:12,938
Me and the boys are about
to do a little Duck Hunting.
746
01:01:17,213 --> 01:01:19,613
- Pull!
- Oh, shit!
747
01:01:25,788 --> 01:01:27,983
You guys all right?
748
01:01:28,123 --> 01:01:32,219
- What did Andy do?
- He got fucked up.
749
01:01:32,361 --> 01:01:35,228
- Our timing was off.
- I don't know. When we jumped,
750
01:01:35,364 --> 01:01:38,959
somehow I got under him, he got
on top of me, and he landed on me.
751
01:01:39,101 --> 01:01:41,968
His head smashed me.
752
01:01:42,104 --> 01:01:43,571
- I'm shaking.
- It hurt so bad.
753
01:01:43,706 --> 01:01:46,197
- Got hit too.
- That looked hilarious.
754
01:01:46,342 --> 01:01:48,173
Now it's Parks's turn,
755
01:01:48,310 --> 01:01:51,575
and this duck's got
a little more meat on him.
756
01:01:53,482 --> 01:01:54,779
Pull!
757
01:02:01,123 --> 01:02:05,651
We lit him the fuck up.
Oh, my God!
758
01:02:10,899 --> 01:02:13,265
I got welted.
759
01:02:15,170 --> 01:02:17,502
It's like fuckin' falling
into a bees'nest.
760
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,336
- Holy crap!
- We killed Quack Quack.
761
01:02:20,476 --> 01:02:22,603
- My whole back stings.
- Does it?
762
01:02:23,579 --> 01:02:25,638
Yeah, ten, 11 right there,
and that one.
763
01:02:25,981 --> 01:02:28,950
All right. So let's reload.
Get Dunn on there.
764
01:02:30,185 --> 01:02:34,554
Looks like Dunn's up next.
Ready, C-sucker?
765
01:02:36,425 --> 01:02:38,120
This one's a gobbler for sure.
766
01:02:41,196 --> 01:02:42,424
Pull!
767
01:02:57,746 --> 01:02:59,907
Good fucking God!
768
01:03:00,049 --> 01:03:04,042
I gotta give it to Paul Bunyan's
40-foot fucking cartwheel.
769
01:03:05,621 --> 01:03:09,717
You look like Buck Rogers
going through time, you know.
770
01:03:09,858 --> 01:03:13,419
Yeah, I felt like I was
in the air for a fortnight.
771
01:03:19,268 --> 01:03:20,667
Oh, my God.
772
01:03:22,938 --> 01:03:24,405
Jump out!
773
01:03:36,618 --> 01:03:38,518
I told you
I was gonna fucking clear it.
774
01:03:42,758 --> 01:03:45,158
That fucking just happened, didn't it?
775
01:03:47,629 --> 01:03:49,563
Hello. My name is Irving Zisman.
776
01:03:49,698 --> 01:03:51,757
This is my wife and granddaughter,
777
01:03:51,900 --> 01:03:55,199
and today I'm a Really Bad Grandpa.
778
01:03:55,337 --> 01:03:57,897
No, you're not, Grandpa.
You're the best.
779
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,941
- Irving!
- Sorry, baby.
780
01:04:24,799 --> 01:04:25,993
Sorry.
781
01:04:26,134 --> 01:04:28,068
Sorry, man, sorry.
782
01:04:31,072 --> 01:04:33,973
Excuse me, homeboy,
can you take our picture?
783
01:04:34,109 --> 01:04:36,771
- I'm sorry to bother you.
- No problem.
784
01:04:36,911 --> 01:04:38,208
I'm so...
785
01:04:42,817 --> 01:04:47,277
Sorry. Thank you, buddy. OK?
786
01:04:47,422 --> 01:04:50,880
- You know what? I'm gonna pass.
- You just hit the button there.
787
01:04:51,025 --> 01:04:55,519
I'm going to pass on that.
Are you underage?
788
01:04:55,663 --> 01:04:58,996
No. This is my granddaughter.
She's of age. She's 19.
789
01:04:59,134 --> 01:05:01,125
Sir, you shouldn't be
kissing your granddaughter,
790
01:05:01,269 --> 01:05:03,066
slapping your granddaughter's
ass like that, sir.
791
01:05:03,204 --> 01:05:04,865
- She's of age.
- You can go to jail for that.
792
01:05:05,006 --> 01:05:07,566
I don't... I'm trying.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
793
01:05:07,709 --> 01:05:09,700
You shouldn't be doing that
to your granddaughter.
794
01:05:09,844 --> 01:05:13,712
- What are you doing?
- Honey, I don't even know this man.
795
01:05:13,848 --> 01:05:17,215
I don't care. You're with your
granddaughter. That's terrible!
796
01:05:17,352 --> 01:05:20,116
- I've never seen anything like it...
- This is my wife.
797
01:05:20,255 --> 01:05:24,123
- This is your wife?
- Yes. Honey, I'm sorry.
798
01:05:24,259 --> 01:05:26,727
Don't bother coming home tonight!
OK? Don't bother.
799
01:05:26,861 --> 01:05:29,989
Honey! God. Jesus.
800
01:05:30,131 --> 01:05:32,656
- Why would you...?
- Go talk to her.
801
01:05:32,801 --> 01:05:34,860
Excuse me. I have my own problems.
802
01:05:35,970 --> 01:05:36,994
Honey!
803
01:06:07,802 --> 01:06:11,238
It's time to find out
if music calms the wild beast.
804
01:06:11,372 --> 01:06:13,499
I'm Ryan Dunn,
and this is the Ram Jam.
805
01:06:17,045 --> 01:06:18,137
Soothing?
806
01:06:19,614 --> 01:06:21,377
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
807
01:06:23,651 --> 01:06:25,243
He's already looking at me.
808
01:06:31,559 --> 01:06:35,393
Can you just go over there until
I get in here, buddy? Jesus.
809
01:06:43,271 --> 01:06:45,262
You better hurry up.
He's looking at me.
810
01:06:45,406 --> 01:06:49,809
- He looks beguiled.
- He's like, "Are these guys stupid?"
811
01:06:49,944 --> 01:06:52,845
- He doesn't like what he sees, though.
- Hey, little baby.
812
01:06:55,016 --> 01:06:56,916
That was good.
813
01:06:57,051 --> 01:06:59,815
- Play some music! Play some music!
- You're toast.
814
01:07:13,401 --> 01:07:15,096
- Steve-O, help him!
- Play some music!
815
01:07:16,437 --> 01:07:17,961
Steve-O, help him!
816
01:07:22,844 --> 01:07:24,436
Get it over here, Dunn!
817
01:07:24,579 --> 01:07:26,604
Go help him, Steve-O!
818
01:07:26,748 --> 01:07:28,909
- Save your bro!
- Help him, Steve-O!
819
01:07:32,587 --> 01:07:35,021
- Play!
- Steve-O!
820
01:07:35,156 --> 01:07:36,384
Play the trumpet!
821
01:07:41,729 --> 01:07:44,721
- Yeah, there you go.
- Just you, Steve-O.
822
01:07:54,342 --> 01:07:56,207
Maybe we used the wrong instruments.
823
01:07:56,344 --> 01:07:58,676
So you think music
calmed the wild beast?
824
01:07:58,813 --> 01:08:00,804
Not at all, man, not at all.
825
01:08:00,949 --> 01:08:02,109
I don't think so, either.
826
01:08:03,818 --> 01:08:05,649
Here we go.
827
01:08:08,089 --> 01:08:10,057
You guys look like idiots.
828
01:08:12,026 --> 01:08:13,152
Ready?
829
01:08:14,829 --> 01:08:15,955
Fore!
830
01:08:27,342 --> 01:08:29,572
- You all right?
- Yeah.
831
01:08:29,711 --> 01:08:31,975
- Did you take it in the neck?
- Yeah.
832
01:08:32,113 --> 01:08:34,581
Oh, my God, dude!
833
01:08:34,716 --> 01:08:36,980
You took it in the Adam's apple.
834
01:08:43,124 --> 01:08:48,118
- Hi, Spike.
- Ehren McGhehey. Travis Bickle.
835
01:08:48,262 --> 01:08:52,198
- He's got a tooth that we need out.
- I need it out.
836
01:08:52,333 --> 01:08:56,360
I need it because you need it.
Whatever you need, I need.
837
01:08:56,504 --> 01:08:58,369
- Let's get it out.
- We need it together.
838
01:09:01,042 --> 01:09:03,943
You wanna walk the walk,
you gotta talk the talk,
839
01:09:04,078 --> 01:09:06,205
or no one will take you seriously.
840
01:09:06,347 --> 01:09:08,110
Dr. Pontius? Dr. Dunn?
841
01:09:08,249 --> 01:09:10,774
- Can we do this?
- Finally!
842
01:09:10,918 --> 01:09:12,977
Tie him up and let's do it.
843
01:09:13,121 --> 01:09:14,588
Sit down.
844
01:09:15,723 --> 01:09:16,985
Relax.
845
01:09:19,727 --> 01:09:22,525
- Take it easy.
- Relax.
846
01:09:23,131 --> 01:09:25,861
You know why this happened.
847
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:30,130
Flossing is just
as important as brushing.
848
01:09:30,271 --> 01:09:32,967
So what we're going to do is
extract Ehren's crooked tooth
849
01:09:33,107 --> 01:09:35,541
and then we're gonna replant it,
just like you would a tree.
850
01:09:35,676 --> 01:09:38,270
- But straight.
- But straight.
851
01:09:38,413 --> 01:09:41,348
I'm Danger Ehren, and this is
the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.
852
01:09:43,151 --> 01:09:46,917
Here's the good news:
What you're doing is stupid.
853
01:09:47,055 --> 01:09:48,386
So you got that going.
854
01:09:48,523 --> 01:09:50,218
Get in the Lambo, shitbird!
855
01:09:50,358 --> 01:09:53,225
This is gonna suck.
856
01:09:53,361 --> 01:09:57,092
Did your barber tell you to do this?
He seems like he's full of bad ideas.
857
01:09:59,434 --> 01:10:00,594
Are you stoked?
858
01:10:01,836 --> 01:10:03,827
It's a Lamborghini.
859
01:10:06,774 --> 01:10:08,708
Listen to that thing.
860
01:10:08,843 --> 01:10:12,904
- Open your eyes wide.
- Look at that bad-ass Lamborghini.
861
01:10:15,516 --> 01:10:16,744
Yeah!
862
01:10:21,322 --> 01:10:22,721
God!
863
01:10:26,661 --> 01:10:29,357
- Way to go!
- Fuckin' deuce!
864
01:10:29,497 --> 01:10:30,828
Victory.
865
01:10:33,768 --> 01:10:36,601
I wish I could say that didn't suck.
866
01:10:36,737 --> 01:10:39,262
- Oh, my God!
- You look terrible!
867
01:10:41,676 --> 01:10:43,940
Is it gone? Is it gone? It hurt!
868
01:10:44,879 --> 01:10:47,712
- Oh, my God!
- You did good.
869
01:10:47,849 --> 01:10:50,010
You did good. You did good.
870
01:10:50,151 --> 01:10:53,086
Man, that hurt me. Not really.
871
01:10:53,221 --> 01:10:54,552
Let me see, Ehren.
872
01:10:54,689 --> 01:10:58,648
- What'd it feel like?
- It hurt like a...
873
01:10:58,793 --> 01:11:01,091
- What was that?
- I don't know.
874
01:11:01,229 --> 01:11:04,164
- What... Are you crying?
- You're pulling my tooth.
875
01:11:04,765 --> 01:11:06,700
We already pulled your tooth.
We're not "pulling" your tooth.
876
01:11:06,700 --> 01:11:07,826
We already pulled your tooth.
We're not "pulling" your tooth.
877
01:11:08,802 --> 01:11:10,429
The tooth is officially pulled.
878
01:11:11,771 --> 01:11:13,966
Ehren, remember how I said
I could replant the tooth?
879
01:11:14,107 --> 01:11:16,905
- Yeah.
- That story wasn't true.
880
01:11:20,113 --> 01:11:22,104
I'm sorry.
881
01:11:22,249 --> 01:11:23,739
- Oh, my God.
- It was a story.
882
01:11:23,884 --> 01:11:25,351
We were trying to build up
your confidence.
883
01:11:25,485 --> 01:11:26,611
That hurts.
884
01:11:28,855 --> 01:11:30,618
A lot of doctors... dentists...
885
01:11:30,757 --> 01:11:32,315
I don't really consider them
real doctors.
886
01:11:32,459 --> 01:11:36,452
They think they're God,
you know? Not me.
887
01:11:38,064 --> 01:11:39,258
Satan.
888
01:12:23,643 --> 01:12:25,201
Yeah, he's soaked.
889
01:13:04,718 --> 01:13:06,151
You fucking...
890
01:13:22,569 --> 01:13:24,230
How much piss do you have?!
891
01:13:24,371 --> 01:13:27,238
Dudes, I'm telling you,
I drank a dozen of them things.
892
01:13:28,408 --> 01:13:31,400
All I got to say is,
Tremaine told me to do this.
893
01:13:53,767 --> 01:13:56,201
Ap and Phil just arrived
in Los Angeles.
894
01:13:56,336 --> 01:13:57,963
As soon as they check in
their hotel room,
895
01:13:58,104 --> 01:14:01,232
there's gonna be a gorilla
in there, aka Chris Pontius,
896
01:14:01,374 --> 01:14:04,707
and the trainer here, Will,
who's gonna try to tame him
897
01:14:04,844 --> 01:14:06,277
but it's gonna go horribly wrong.
898
01:14:06,413 --> 01:14:09,280
Basically, all hell's gonna break loose.
899
01:14:09,416 --> 01:14:11,407
It's gonna be a blood orgy.
900
01:14:33,873 --> 01:14:35,534
My goodness.
901
01:14:59,733 --> 01:15:01,394
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
902
01:15:01,534 --> 01:15:05,368
No, no, no, no!
It's OK! This is Samson.
903
01:15:05,505 --> 01:15:08,599
Just don't make eye contact.
Samson, down. Be quiet.
904
01:15:08,742 --> 01:15:11,074
He's a good boy. If he wants to
be a good boy, he's a good boy.
905
01:15:11,211 --> 01:15:12,644
Just don't make any
sudden movements.
906
01:15:12,779 --> 01:15:15,680
Don't make eye contact
with him. Samson...
907
01:15:21,054 --> 01:15:22,612
I'm getting my whip!
908
01:15:25,391 --> 01:15:26,289
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Get out of here!
909
01:15:26,325 --> 01:15:29,055
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Get out of here!
910
01:15:33,699 --> 01:15:35,792
Oh, God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
911
01:15:35,935 --> 01:15:40,838
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Samson!
- Jesus Christ. What the hell was that?
912
01:15:40,973 --> 01:15:43,237
- There's a trainer...
- It's out! It's out!
913
01:15:43,376 --> 01:15:45,469
What happened to Phil?
914
01:15:45,611 --> 01:15:48,079
- The trainer will get him.
- He said be quiet.
915
01:15:48,214 --> 01:15:49,704
Sam, Sam...
916
01:15:49,849 --> 01:15:51,544
Oh, my God.
I never saw a gorilla before.
917
01:15:51,684 --> 01:15:53,675
- He's tame.
- He just wrecked the whole room.
918
01:15:53,819 --> 01:15:55,514
- There's a fucking trainer.
- Big deal!
919
01:15:55,655 --> 01:15:59,022
- Did this go wrong or something?
- Kind of.
920
01:15:59,158 --> 01:16:00,682
What was supposed to happen?
921
01:16:00,826 --> 01:16:03,556
- He's like the trainer...
- Oh, so what?
922
01:16:03,696 --> 01:16:05,061
He seems all right now.
923
01:16:05,197 --> 01:16:08,098
Was this supposed to be
just fun or something?
924
01:16:08,234 --> 01:16:11,328
He wants to go back in the room.
Do you have the key to that room?
925
01:16:11,470 --> 01:16:13,097
- Yeah.
- Give me the key.
926
01:16:13,239 --> 01:16:15,503
- Give me the key.
- My husband's in there somewhere.
927
01:16:15,641 --> 01:16:17,108
Is Phil OK? Is Phil out here?
928
01:16:17,243 --> 01:16:19,837
- I shit myself!
- What? Where is he?
929
01:16:19,979 --> 01:16:22,311
- I had to take a mean shit.
- There's a gorilla.
930
01:16:22,448 --> 01:16:25,042
I know. I had to take a mean shit.
It was coming out.
931
01:16:25,184 --> 01:16:28,119
Hear it? It's all juicy. I had to do it.
932
01:16:28,254 --> 01:16:32,987
- Phil, you are mingin'.
- I know. I had to.
933
01:16:33,125 --> 01:16:35,923
I need this thing off.
I can't breathe. I need this off.
934
01:16:36,062 --> 01:16:39,520
Is that a person?
That's a frickin' person.
935
01:16:39,665 --> 01:16:41,860
- It's Pontius, dipshit!
- Is that a person?
936
01:16:42,001 --> 01:16:43,730
Is that a...
937
01:16:43,869 --> 01:16:46,394
Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
938
01:16:47,673 --> 01:16:49,664
Did you almost have a heart attack?
939
01:16:49,809 --> 01:16:52,209
Oh, my God.
940
01:16:56,515 --> 01:16:59,541
- I'm so glad you're fake.
- Welcome to L.A.
941
01:16:59,685 --> 01:17:01,744
Phil's in there shittin'.
942
01:17:01,887 --> 01:17:04,287
- Get...
- It scared the shit out of Phil.
943
01:17:06,192 --> 01:17:07,386
All right.
944
01:17:09,028 --> 01:17:11,019
- That's a good one.
- Get it! Go! Go!
945
01:17:17,737 --> 01:17:19,068
Holy shit!
946
01:17:22,708 --> 01:17:24,801
Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville,
947
01:17:24,944 --> 01:17:27,139
and today I'm an Invisible Man.
948
01:17:36,622 --> 01:17:38,249
You ready?
949
01:17:39,859 --> 01:17:41,053
OK.
950
01:17:51,971 --> 01:17:53,097
Take him around again.
951
01:17:56,008 --> 01:17:57,908
Am I still invisible?
952
01:18:01,414 --> 01:18:03,075
I hate when they do that.
953
01:18:05,251 --> 01:18:06,377
Fuck me.
954
01:18:12,892 --> 01:18:14,826
Where'd Knoxville go?
955
01:18:15,728 --> 01:18:17,059
He's up ahead.
956
01:18:18,164 --> 01:18:20,029
Is he close? Oh, fuck!
957
01:18:24,970 --> 01:18:26,232
Open the gate!
958
01:18:30,309 --> 01:18:32,777
That was fucking insane.
959
01:18:34,380 --> 01:18:36,940
- No, he landed bad.
- He really fell a little bit there.
960
01:18:37,083 --> 01:18:40,678
- Oh, Jesus.
- You OK, Johnny?
961
01:18:40,820 --> 01:18:44,881
Dude, that was a total neck-breaker.
I think it jarred his head.
962
01:18:45,024 --> 01:18:47,254
- Get the money shot?
- Oh, yeah, dude.
963
01:18:47,393 --> 01:18:49,452
Look at the feet mark
on top of the tree.
964
01:18:49,595 --> 01:18:50,789
Yeah, look it...
965
01:18:53,332 --> 01:18:56,233
- I got ups. Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, you did.
966
01:18:56,368 --> 01:19:00,236
- You were over the rainbow.
- I was over the rainbow.
967
01:19:02,274 --> 01:19:05,766
So, in this trailer,
we have a false floor
968
01:19:05,911 --> 01:19:08,971
with an 1 1-foot-deep pit we dug
969
01:19:09,115 --> 01:19:10,810
and filled with rubber snakes.
970
01:19:10,950 --> 01:19:14,044
And Bam thinks he's gonna
be doing a prank on Jeff,
971
01:19:14,186 --> 01:19:15,813
who's sitting in front of the trailer.
972
01:19:15,955 --> 01:19:19,447
But he's gonna be falling
into that pit, and when he does,
973
01:19:19,592 --> 01:19:20,718
Mr. David Weathers...
974
01:19:22,895 --> 01:19:27,093
...has a few hundred live snakes
we're gonna throw in there with him.
975
01:19:29,835 --> 01:19:31,860
Bam really hates snakes, too.
976
01:19:32,004 --> 01:19:35,838
This may be the first time
Bam cries in the film.
977
01:19:36,675 --> 01:19:38,165
- You ready?
- Yeah.
978
01:19:38,310 --> 01:19:40,835
- All right.
- You want to...?
979
01:19:40,980 --> 01:19:43,073
Tremaine's in a very vulnerable spot.
980
01:19:43,215 --> 01:19:45,240
I think it's time for Rocky.
981
01:19:45,384 --> 01:19:47,409
I think it's Rocky 4, I believe.
982
01:19:47,553 --> 01:19:50,386
Either way, he's getting
punched in the face.
983
01:19:50,523 --> 01:19:52,491
Be quiet.
984
01:20:05,137 --> 01:20:06,729
Oh, fuck!
985
01:20:06,872 --> 01:20:08,533
Fucking fuck.
986
01:20:12,077 --> 01:20:13,408
No!
987
01:20:13,546 --> 01:20:16,606
Are they real?
Get me the fuck out of here.
988
01:20:17,783 --> 01:20:21,082
You cocksuckers.
Dude, get me out, man.
989
01:20:21,220 --> 01:20:23,484
- They're not real, dude.
- What happened?
990
01:20:28,427 --> 01:20:31,157
- I want out, man.
- Bam. Bam.
991
01:20:31,297 --> 01:20:34,095
What, what?! Don't do this to me!
992
01:20:34,233 --> 01:20:38,499
Yo, seriously, get me out!
Get me the fuck out now!
993
01:20:38,637 --> 01:20:41,162
Now! Get me out now!
994
01:20:41,307 --> 01:20:44,299
Dude, stop, stop, stop!
995
01:20:44,443 --> 01:20:46,035
Oh, Jesus.
I'm stepping back for this one.
996
01:20:46,178 --> 01:20:47,907
Dude, stop fucking with me!
997
01:20:48,047 --> 01:20:52,609
- Hey, Bam.
- Dude, I fucking hate you guys.
998
01:20:52,751 --> 01:20:56,243
- Dimitry, please! Please!
- Is he crying?
999
01:20:56,388 --> 01:20:57,912
- Please! Please!
- He's really crying.
1000
01:20:58,057 --> 01:21:01,584
Tremaine, you motherfucker!
Get me out now!
1001
01:21:03,329 --> 01:21:06,321
It's not funny. It's not funny!
1002
01:21:06,465 --> 01:21:09,866
It's not funny? I'm gonna argue
with you on that one, Bam.
1003
01:21:10,002 --> 01:21:11,526
You fucking assholes!
1004
01:21:11,670 --> 01:21:13,535
- Get him out.
- Get me out.
1005
01:21:13,672 --> 01:21:15,139
Get me out.
1006
01:21:19,945 --> 01:21:22,209
You can't do that to me, man.
1007
01:21:24,216 --> 01:21:26,616
Sorry, bud.
1008
01:21:26,752 --> 01:21:29,346
Dude, that is the worst fear
I could ever imagine.
1009
01:21:29,488 --> 01:21:32,787
You fucking, dick-sucking,
fucking, asshole
1010
01:21:32,925 --> 01:21:34,893
motherfuckers just did that to me.
1011
01:21:37,129 --> 01:21:39,120
Look at the snake tracks on his back.
1012
01:21:39,265 --> 01:21:41,495
You have snake marks on your back.
1013
01:21:46,972 --> 01:21:49,167
- Oh, my God.
- That one is so big!
1014
01:21:49,308 --> 01:21:52,471
That looks like hell in there.
1015
01:21:52,611 --> 01:21:56,138
That was fucking terrifying. I can't
think of anything more terrifying
1016
01:21:56,282 --> 01:21:59,251
than that, that just happened right now.
1017
01:21:59,385 --> 01:22:01,546
Well, you're welcome, man.
1018
01:22:04,123 --> 01:22:05,988
Fucking cocksucker.
1019
01:22:07,626 --> 01:22:11,255
Your voice definitely did
have different nuances to it
1020
01:22:11,397 --> 01:22:14,992
when you were hollering out
for... getting out of there.
1021
01:22:15,134 --> 01:22:16,931
Stop it, man!
1022
01:22:17,069 --> 01:22:20,061
Fuck, man! You're gonna make me
have heart... Seriously...
1023
01:22:20,205 --> 01:22:24,869
Thank God I'm leaving at three today.
I am counting down the minutes.
1024
01:22:25,010 --> 01:22:29,470
Seriously. With fucking
David Weathers around.
1025
01:22:29,615 --> 01:22:32,209
I'm gonna see if there's
a one-hour-earlier flight.
1026
01:23:20,966 --> 01:23:24,424
Most people don't like the idea
of being covered in dog shit,
1027
01:23:24,570 --> 01:23:28,062
but that doesn't bother me
nearly as much as, like,
1028
01:23:28,207 --> 01:23:31,176
rollercoasters and bungee jumping.
1029
01:23:31,310 --> 01:23:33,403
I just can't do that shit, man.
1030
01:23:33,545 --> 01:23:35,706
That's why this is gonna be fantastic.
1031
01:23:36,815 --> 01:23:39,283
It's basically like a poo coaster.
1032
01:23:39,418 --> 01:23:42,512
- You have really irrational fears.
- I know.
1033
01:23:42,654 --> 01:23:45,179
"Cast me out to sea with sharks,
I don't care."
1034
01:23:45,324 --> 01:23:48,350
"Put a hook through my cheek.
But I'm not bungee diving."
1035
01:23:48,494 --> 01:23:49,791
What the fuck?
1036
01:23:52,431 --> 01:23:54,296
Oh, my God.
1037
01:23:55,634 --> 01:23:56,931
Come here, dude.
1038
01:23:58,637 --> 01:24:00,298
I'm trying.
1039
01:24:00,439 --> 01:24:03,374
- What's the problem?
- It fuckin' stinks like sh...
1040
01:24:03,509 --> 01:24:04,942
...shit.
1041
01:24:05,077 --> 01:24:08,535
I think it's about ten years ago today
that I was doing
1042
01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:11,615
the first Poo Cocktail
and now you're taking the reins
1043
01:24:11,750 --> 01:24:13,843
and taking it to a whole other level.
1044
01:24:13,986 --> 01:24:16,546
- Yep.
- You look pretty happy about it.
1045
01:24:16,688 --> 01:24:18,986
Hey, let's get me down
pretty fucking quick after this.
1046
01:24:19,124 --> 01:24:22,719
I'm gonna be so claustrophobic,
it's gonna be ridiculous.
1047
01:24:22,861 --> 01:24:24,795
- Do you have claustrophobia?
- Yeah.
1048
01:24:24,930 --> 01:24:27,228
Just relax and enjoy your shit.
1049
01:24:30,002 --> 01:24:32,994
I'm Steve-O, and this is
the Poo Cocktail Supreme.
1050
01:24:37,042 --> 01:24:39,237
All right. Good luck.
1051
01:24:43,449 --> 01:24:45,747
- You ready, Steve-O?
- No.
1052
01:24:50,856 --> 01:24:53,723
Order up! Poo Cocktail Supreme!
1053
01:24:58,931 --> 01:25:00,330
Oh, shit!
1054
01:25:23,222 --> 01:25:24,746
Oh, shit!
1055
01:25:39,838 --> 01:25:40,827
He's puking!
1056
01:25:47,045 --> 01:25:48,171
Fucking gross.
1057
01:25:49,781 --> 01:25:51,908
What's wrong with you, Bam?
1058
01:25:54,586 --> 01:25:56,952
Oh, my God, dude.
1059
01:25:57,089 --> 01:25:58,647
Are you OK, Steve-O?
1060
01:25:58,790 --> 01:26:00,121
Oh, my God!
1061
01:26:00,259 --> 01:26:03,285
It's gonna be ugly. I don't know
if you wanna see this.
1062
01:26:06,265 --> 01:26:09,257
Oh, my God! Oh, Jesus.
1063
01:26:10,669 --> 01:26:13,900
- Help him out of there!
- Let him out!
1064
01:26:14,039 --> 01:26:15,631
I'm ready...
1065
01:26:21,513 --> 01:26:22,707
Oh, my God.
1066
01:26:22,848 --> 01:26:24,679
Jump in that lake right now.
1067
01:26:24,816 --> 01:26:26,545
Oh, my God!
1068
01:26:26,685 --> 01:26:28,448
Oh, my God.
1069
01:26:39,698 --> 01:26:40,960
Jesus!
1070
01:26:44,369 --> 01:26:46,360
Oh, God, it's so gross.
1071
01:26:49,942 --> 01:26:53,969
This is the kind of extreme shit that
those extreme dudes don't even think of.
1072
01:26:58,850 --> 01:27:01,944
That had it all.
That had danger. It had shit.
1073
01:27:02,087 --> 01:27:06,456
It had puke. That's what
this show is all about.
1074
01:27:07,726 --> 01:27:09,591
And sex appeal.
1075
01:27:13,332 --> 01:27:15,698
All right, fellas,
we're gonna play a little game called
1076
01:27:15,834 --> 01:27:17,825
Escaped Convict and Warden's Wife.
1077
01:27:17,970 --> 01:27:22,430
And I'm pretty sure something sucky's
gonna happen when I push this.
1078
01:27:22,574 --> 01:27:26,670
So would you guys rather
listen to Steve-O's rap album,
1079
01:27:26,812 --> 01:27:29,872
- or have me push this plunger?
- Push the plunger!
1080
01:27:31,483 --> 01:27:34,008
All right, let's end this turkey.
1081
01:27:34,853 --> 01:27:37,253
Glasses on! Goggles on!
1082
01:27:37,389 --> 01:27:41,553
Hello. My name's Johnny Knoxville
and I'm about to end this movie.
1083
01:27:43,662 --> 01:27:44,890
What?
1084
01:29:45,149 --> 01:29:47,913
Oh, my God! I don't believe...
Can you believe this?
1085
01:29:48,052 --> 01:29:50,179
I don't understand
what the hell they're doing.
1086
01:29:50,321 --> 01:29:53,620
I mean, it looks more like a riptide
to me. Don't you think so?
1087
01:29:53,758 --> 01:29:56,556
This is ridiculous.
Now wait just a second.
1088
01:29:56,694 --> 01:29:59,026
- How...? Is this the way you make...
- Rip Taylor!
1089
01:29:59,163 --> 01:30:01,654
Shut up yourself! I'm just fed up.
1090
01:30:01,799 --> 01:30:03,596
Who's the fat guy in the Speedo?
1091
01:30:03,735 --> 01:30:05,999
Look in the mirr... Oh, my God.
1092
01:30:06,137 --> 01:30:10,801
Look in the mirror. A grown man.
And they did it.
1093
01:30:11,876 --> 01:30:13,935
And I can't believe all the confetti.
1094
01:30:14,078 --> 01:30:17,639
And don't forget... Jackass 3D.
1095
01:30:18,616 --> 01:30:20,516
- 3D!
- Thank you.
1096
01:30:20,651 --> 01:30:22,642
No tongue! No tongue!
1097
01:30:23,354 --> 01:30:24,685
No tongue!
1098
01:30:25,490 --> 01:30:26,787
No tongue!
1099
01:30:59,557 --> 01:31:03,550
I'm Danger Ehren, and that was
the Lamborghini Tooth Pull.
1100
01:31:03,694 --> 01:31:05,753
- We're not using that.
- I don't care.
1101
01:31:09,734 --> 01:31:11,827
Now we are using that.
1102
01:31:30,455 --> 01:31:32,480
Dude!
1103
01:31:32,623 --> 01:31:36,855
I was joking. You just broke Jeff's
cam... You broke your camera.
1104
01:31:59,617 --> 01:32:01,016
Fucker!
1105
01:32:03,287 --> 01:32:05,152
Fuck, OK, you got me, dude.
1106
01:32:07,992 --> 01:32:11,325
Bro-zilian, take two, mark.
1107
01:32:17,568 --> 01:32:19,399
Dude! Dude! Cut the...
1108
01:32:19,537 --> 01:32:23,871
Dude, I will fucking punch you
in the face, dude! Stop it.
1109
01:32:31,716 --> 01:32:33,946
Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1110
01:32:38,656 --> 01:32:40,317
Oh, don't be a sissy.
1111
01:32:41,726 --> 01:32:43,921
Three, two, one, go!
1112
01:32:48,466 --> 01:32:51,264
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass.
1113
01:32:58,776 --> 01:32:59,936
Cut!
1114
01:33:06,217 --> 01:33:07,684
My name is Eddie Barbanell,
1115
01:33:07,818 --> 01:33:10,548
and this is some bullshit
with a plunger.
1116
01:33:10,688 --> 01:33:12,087
Preston, move your ass.
1117
01:33:24,569 --> 01:33:26,366
Come back here!
1118
01:33:30,374 --> 01:33:31,773
This bruise looks old.
1119
01:33:31,909 --> 01:33:35,208
Yeah, there's been a lot of
stuff going on back there.
1120
01:33:35,980 --> 01:33:37,914
That's an official break.
1121
01:33:38,049 --> 01:33:40,711
Jeez. That's so gnarly.
1122
01:33:40,851 --> 01:33:42,785
That's some serious
bragging rights, right there.
1123
01:33:43,988 --> 01:33:45,114
Happy birthday!
1124
01:33:51,929 --> 01:33:53,123
Thanks.
1125
01:34:00,137 --> 01:34:02,765
Oh, right there. That's the spot.
1126
01:34:11,749 --> 01:34:15,583
Sorry. Had we known you didn't like red,
we wouldn't have wore this.
1127
01:34:16,787 --> 01:34:17,776
Thanks, buddy.
1128
01:34:19,824 --> 01:34:22,554
He's got it, he's got it! Oh, shit!
1129
01:34:46,484 --> 01:34:47,746
Man, you jumped!
1130
01:35:03,134 --> 01:35:05,500
Oh, you fucker. You fucker.
1131
01:35:16,380 --> 01:35:19,474
I did it like you said.
I held the brake...
1132
01:35:20,618 --> 01:35:22,882
Like this, while it's still...
1133
01:35:29,727 --> 01:35:32,753
- Oh, my God!
- Yes!
1134
01:35:32,897 --> 01:35:33,921
Yeah!
1135
01:35:34,065 --> 01:35:35,828
That's my girl.
1136
01:35:35,966 --> 01:35:39,163
- You're gonna roller-skate.
- Yeah, I'm an awesome roller skater.
1137
01:35:39,303 --> 01:35:43,069
I know. I saw you a long time ago
at the L.A. River when you were...
1138
01:35:43,207 --> 01:35:45,903
- Why you gotta bring that up?
- You were amazing!
1139
01:35:46,644 --> 01:35:50,136
My name is Johnny Knoxville, and today,
I'm gonna jump the L.A. River.
1140
01:35:55,419 --> 01:35:57,182
Help me! Help me!
1141
01:36:04,628 --> 01:36:08,428
How's it going? I'm Steve-O, and I
collected nine days of elephant shit.
1142
01:36:08,566 --> 01:36:10,659
No wait, that doesn't work.
What should I say?
1143
01:36:10,801 --> 01:36:11,825
Say whatever you want.
1144
01:36:30,321 --> 01:36:32,949
- Hi. I'm Jeff.
- Hi. I'm April.
1145
01:36:33,090 --> 01:36:34,682
- It's nice to meet you.
- Hi, April. Nice meeting you.
1146
01:36:38,662 --> 01:36:40,755
Look at these haggard tattoos he has!
1147
01:36:40,898 --> 01:36:44,561
He's got a Chili Peppers sign.
And what's this? Blair Witch?
1148
01:36:44,702 --> 01:36:47,102
- What's this one over here?
- That's a noose.
1149
01:36:47,238 --> 01:36:49,172
- What does that mean?
- I don't know.
1150
01:36:55,880 --> 01:36:57,507
That's Trip.
1151
01:36:57,882 --> 01:37:01,477
- And action.
- Hi. Welcome to Jackass.
1152
01:37:01,619 --> 01:37:05,316
I never wanted to be this.
I was hired to move the ramps,
1153
01:37:05,456 --> 01:37:07,356
'cause I was the only one
with a pickup truck.
1154
01:37:18,669 --> 01:37:20,227
Do it up and down.
1155
01:37:45,396 --> 01:37:48,388
You! Pull that fucking
camera back, jackass.
1156
01:37:49,400 --> 01:37:50,867
I know Johnny Knoxville,
1157
01:37:51,001 --> 01:37:53,936
and he is not broadcasting
my crack to millions of people.
1158
01:38:02,413 --> 01:38:03,710
Is this shoot over?
1159
01:38:03,848 --> 01:38:07,682
Yeah. What did you want out of it?
You got whatever, you know?
1160
01:38:43,310 --> 01:38:45,189
You did great today, Jeff.
85393
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