All language subtitles for Holey Moley - 2x11_track3_eng

Tessitore: I want to sit in on
the brainstorming for season 3.

I couldn't agree more.

I want holes literally called,
like, The Blender.

Yeah.
Where it's like
a giant smoothie machine.

Mm‐hmm.
You go into the blender,

and giant blades
are moving around,

and you hit
the pulse/blend...

And I'm not even
really paying attention.

Right.
I'm looking at my phone.

Yeah. [ Laughing ]

I'm just doing this.

The Blender.

Yeah.

Welcome to "Holey Moley,"
where we're moments away

from what is sure to be
another incredible night

of extreme mini golf.

I have a hole.
Here's my hole.

My hole
is called Circus Circus.

Circus Circus.

You putt...
Yeah.

...and then you can either
take the trapeze...

Yeah.
...or get shot
out of a cannon.

A cannon!
Get shot out of cannon.

And you go over ‐‐
go over a lake.

Yeah.
And you got to make it
to the other side.

The shot out of the cannon
is great.

Right?
Nobody does that anymore.

It's a classic.
Yeah.

Well, here's how
this is gonna work.

Round 1, eight golfers
face off

in a series
of head‐to‐head match‐ups.

The winners are gonna move on
to sudden‐death round number 2.

Only the best survive
to the final round

and play
for The Golden Putter,

the coveted plaid jacket,

and, most important,

a spot in the season finale
on Steph Curry's masterpiece,

the Tomb of Nefertiti,

where someone's gonna make
a putt worth 250 grand.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Here are tonight's golfers,

ready to face whatever the night
throws at them.

Let's check out
our first hole.

A lot of people work
on "Holey Moley,"

and when nature calls,

well, they head
to Hole Number Two.

Golfers have to putt their ball
down a 30‐foot, narrow strip,

then they got to make a run
for it, Rob,

because the occupants
of the Porta Puttys

start opening up
the doors,

and when that happens,

you can get knocked
into the drink.

And if you go in the drink,
it's a stroke penalty.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Here we go ‐‐ the crowd
and the players pumped

for this next matchup
on Hole Number Two.

Zoe Klopfer's a 25‐year‐old
from Newport Beach, California,

and she'll be up
against Samuel Babba

from Oceanside,
California.

Hi.
My name is Zoe Klopfer.

I'm 25 years old.

I'm a fitness influencer.

I love making videos,
so lighting is a must.

So I have a ring light.
I bring it with me.

You gotta get the good selfies,
you know?

'Cause you always got
to post content.

My opponents should fear me.

I mean, they're gonna be like,

"Oh, she's nothing
to worry about.

She just, like, takes photos."

But that's good, because then
they're not gonna expect it.

Yeah, I'm ready to win this.

What's up?
My name's Sam Babba.

I'm from Oceanside, California,
and I'm an optician.

I've been playing mini golf for
as long as I can hold a club.

I really probably should've
focused a little more

on the training activities
for the obstacles,

but I'm just hoping
my putting game

will carry this thick body
through this course.

Today's my birthday,

and I'm here to party
on my birthday.

The only way I'm going home
is with that W.

Put your money on your boy.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Here is Samuel Babba,
30‐year‐old optician.

With glasses like that?
He does.

We had glasses like that
in the Marine Corps,

but they were called
birth‐control glasses.

[ Laughs ]

Smooth stroke, but I think
he's gonna pin himself

behind that barricade.

He may have a play here.

Now let's see
if he's light of foot.

This is the test.

Zoe: Alright.

Have a good swim.

Tessitore: Here goes Samuel.

He's already stumbling.
And he makes it through.

Oh, no!
What happened?

Until he gets past
the doors!

This guy's
all over the place.

I mean, Samuel Babba

could not run in a straight line
at all.

He was, like, spray‐painting
his way down the course there.

That's a stroke penalty.

That was
a regrettable run.

I mean, let's cut to it.
That was ‐‐
Yeah, that was ‐‐

That was the most bizarre,
weird thing I ever saw.

That thing was like...

Oh, here is Zoe Klopfer.

Have a nice swim, Zoe!

Not today!

Zoe Klopfer ‐‐ now, she is
a fitness influencer.

Not a trainer.
Not a trainer.

Not an instructor.

An influencer.

An influencer.

Her tee shot here...

That was pathetic.
Yeah.

I mean, that thing went
so far,

she may have dented
a Porta Potty.

Now, that's not
a stroke penalty,

but it does mean that Zoe will
be putting from the drop zone.

And now she has
to make the run.

You know,
a name like Klopfer...

Yes.
...that sounds like
a high‐end stereo system.

It does, from Germany.

[ German accent ] Would you like
the Klopfer, perhaps?

Yeah.

Or the Biesensnauser?

Which one
will you prefer?

[ Laughs ]

Here she goes!
2.5 seconds to get across.

[ Normal voice ] Ohh!
Oh, Riggle!

Oh, no!
Riggle!

Aah!

That was brutal.

Her whole entire body went flush
right into the door.

Whack!

Oh, that is so good.

Ohh!

Brutal. Just...
Look at this.

...Phi Slamma Jamma
right there.

That's a stroke penalty.

I bet she's got to have blue
paint on her nose right now.

There's a dent.

Zoe Klopfer.
Dented.

Dented.
[ Groans ]

Don't mind me.

Now, what is going on?
Why is she doing squats?

Getting warm.

Oh, she's influencing.
She's influencing, Joe.

Is that what influencing
is right there?

We are seeing
fitness influencing

right in front of our eyes,
Riggle.

Watch th‐‐

I'm a fitness influencer, too,
Joe.

Will you give me a little
right there with the ‐‐

That is good.

More on the heels, though.
Get off the toes.

Little more on the heels.
Ow.

That is great right there.

I just influenced.

Samuel Babba.

Remember, Sam didn't make it
to the green,

so he is away.

Ooh.

Look at this position
he gave himself.

Doesn't have to deal
with that final ridge at all.

Now, remember, Zoe's ball
fell in the drink,

so she's putting
from the drop zone.

This is a tough shot.

Still very excited,
still very optimistic.

She clears the first ridge,

but there's not enough drive
to get over the second one.

Oh, and she's not gonna be
pleased with that.

Klopfer with the ridge
right in front.

♪♪

Boy, that ridge really moves
things down the line,

doesn't it?
It sure does.

It's Sam's birthday today,

so this could be the perfect way
to celebrate

if he sinks this putt.

And now he puts it in.

Now look at this celebration
from Babba.

He's doing the pony.

He's riding the pony
to celebrate

on Hole Number Two.

Wow.
He's really feeling it now.

So, optician Sam Babba moves
into round number 2

and a step closer to that
quarter million dollar prize

in the season finale.

And now "Behind the Hole"
with Stephen Curry,

the "Holey Moley" golf pro.

I call that hole Hole Number Two

because it was the second hole
I built this season.

Nah, just kidding.

It's the toilets,
'cause number two.

And you probably guessed it ‐‐

I came up with the idea
for this one

while I was...

playing mini golf.

What'd you think
I was gonna say?

As we move on, let's take
a closer look at our next hole.

For that,
here's Jeannie.

Mai: Thanks, Joe.
I am here at the famous

Slip N' Putt hole
from season 1,

where we saw some
of the best falling ‐‐

nope, I mean putting ‐‐

of all time.

Our golfers need to scramble up
to the peak.

First one to the top gets
the better ball position.

Then they'll hit their balls
through the bear's legs

and down to the hole below.

Yo, this is a tough one,
guys.

Let's go!

Whoo‐hoo!

Tessitore: We are ready
for our Round 1 battle

between Connie Amarel
and Gerard Dyson.

My name's Connie Amarel.

I'm from Lompoc, California.

I'm 65.

[ Laughs ]

I'm a children's book author,

and I bake lots of cookies.

Oh.
I bake for
a professional baseball team.

I bake Gopher Cookies.

They're molasses cookies.

I hope everyone loves them,

especially Steph,
if he gets one.

Mwah!

Never underestimate
the power of a cookie.

At ease, America.
I'm Gerard Dyson,

a.k.a. Sergeant Swag.

38 years old,

and I plan
on winning "Holey Moley."

I currently have the best
golf channel on YouTube,

even though
it's underrated.

I'm like the Kanye West
of the golf videos.

I do it all.

I know "Holey Moley"
looks fun,

but to Gerard Dyson,
it's not a game.

I'm coming for you.

With swag.

Oh, you're on this side.

Riggle:
I'll be honest, Joe,

I'm worried about Connie
on this one.

This is one
of the trickier,

more dangerous holes

we have
here at "Holey Moley."

Tessitore: Please be safe,
Connie.

Here they go.

Oh.

Gerard able to get
to that first plateau,

and now...

what a run,

and then he goes down.

All the way down.

And Connie joins him.

Oh, no!

Poor Connie.
There's Gerard.

He lunges for that ‐‐

You know, he's got
the height advantage.

Gerard:
Yeah, let's go, baby!

He's not getting
much help.

Oh, the rope
is giving away.

[ Laughs ]

Let's see
if Gerard can utilize it.

He should have no problem.

Oh, right at the end, though,
he falls.

Connie took a bad spill
right there.

Ooh, ooh!

So, there is the win
for Gerard Dyson.

Thank you, Gerard.

And with that, a helping hand
for Connie Amarel.

Very nicely done.

Oh, I love you.

But it is Gerard Dyson
who will have

the better putting position
on top of that glacier.

What a gentleman.

Ooh‐whee.

So, Connie has a very
tricky putt ahead of her,

as she is against
the avalanche wall

and has to put it through
the polar bear's legs.

Hey, what's that buffoon doing
on the course again?

Who let him in here?

Course Marshal Joe.

Looks like he has a jacket
and hat, per uzh.

I don't know
if he has any pants on.

And if I'm a betting man,
I'm gonna say no, Joe.

That's a cringe.

So, here's Connie Amarel.

It has to go through
the polar bear's legs.

Here's the ricochet.

Tough shot.

And she does.
And she does.

This could be in.

Oh, that was close.

Will it stay
on the green?

Yes, it does.

Great start
by the cookie lady.

What a sweet woman.
She bakes cookies,

she writes kids books.

What did she make tonight?

Snickerdoodles,
it looks like.

Oh, who doesn't like
a snickerdoodle?

Get after that, Riggle.

So, here is first putt
for Gerard Dyson.

Also known
as Sergeant Swag.

He's able to putt
from that elevated snowflake.

Yes.

Where the heck ‐‐
Did it go?

No, it backed up.

So, there's a mis‐hit
off of the snowflake.

He's lost
a golden opportunity.

So now Dyson,
his second stroke here.

And this time, he puts it
through the polar bear's legs

and down
to the green below.

Hits off the back wall
and retreats.

And now both will sit
on their keister

and come down
the mountain.

Gotta watch that wall
at the end here.

Whoo!

Oh.
That's what happens.

[ Laughing ] Whoa.

She got her shoe caught
in there, Joe.

Tessitore: Shoe came off.

Left shoe is off of Connie.

Oh, no.
I can't get my shoe back on.

While Connie finds
her feet,

I suggest you go raid
the cookie jar.

We'll be right back.

[ Laughs ]

Ooh! They got a little cinnamon
in them.

Yeah. Isn't that nice?
Nice touch.

Tessitore: Welcome back
to "Holey Moley."

While you were away,

we ate our fill
of Connie's baked treats.

Oh, that's delicious,
yeah.

Okay.

Gerard lies 2,
Connie lies 1.

But when play resumed,

the cookie lady got off
to a shaky start.

Ah!
Riggle: No hesitation
from Connie.

She just stepped up
and fired away.

That kept Sergeant Swag
in the mix.

Served our country.

Now trying
to serve himself.

Runs it past.

This is a deathmatch!

Until Connie pulled
the winning cookie

out of the bag.

Can she be
the unexpected winner?

Oh!
Oh, my God!

She does it.
She does it!

The cookie lady does it.

Delivering not just
on the snickerdoodles

but right here
on Slip N' Putt.

She moves on to Round 2,

and while we wait
to find out who's joining her,

here's Rob to tell us
about the next hole.

And now "The Hole Story"
with Rob Riggle.

Riggle: Rubber duckies.

At first glance, they look like
harmless water toys.

But increase their size tenfold

and they quickly transform
into something else entirely.

Golfers need to get across
the narrow bridge

blockaded by these two ferocious
beasts of the bath.

If the player or the ball
gets knocked into the tub ‐‐

"Aaah!" Pkwssh! ‐‐

it's a stroke penalty.

"Aaaah!" Pbbbbht!

But, hey,
look on the bright side.

You just got a free bath.

Back to you, Rob.

[ Ding! ]

Yeehaw!

And ready to take on the ducks
of disaster now,

it's social‐media manager
Leisha‐Mae

and hospital worker
Sam Eddy.

Hi. My name's Sam Eddy.

I'm 24 years old,

and I am from
Crestview, Florida.

Even though it's mini golf,
everything is so big about it.

And that's why I love
"Holey Moley,"

because it's just that
but bigger.

I'm the icon
that "Holey Moley" needs.

Rarr!

It's about being the cutest cat
on the golf course

and bringing it home.

My name's Leisha‐Mae Telles.

I am from Las Vegas, Nevada.

I have a degree in psychology,

so I can get
into other people's minds.

Growing up, my family and I
played a ton of golf,

and putting was, like,
my thing.

My sister Seshia was in season 1
of "Holey Moley."

She made it just look
too hard,

and I just want
to make it easy.

Deep down, she probably wants me
to make it past her.

Leisha‐Mae Telles.

Remember her sister Seshia
was on season 1.

She wants to do better
than her sister did.

She's trying to avenge
her sister's death.

They ‐‐ What?

Did ‐‐ Did she survive
last year?

She survived.
Never mind, then.

We're good.

Ooh, this is ‐‐

There is not much on this.

This is not even reaching
the slanted bar of soap.

Alright.
Now it's the hard part.

Good luck.

Tessitore: Now Leisha‐Mae Telles
is going to try

to avoid the 12‐foot‐high,

15‐foot‐long pair
of rubber duckies.

You have to time it out
just right.

Here she goes.

Ohh!

Ducky number one puts her
into the bubble bath.

I like the speed,
but she just ‐‐

I don't know
that she timed it well.

Oh, she got launched.

She takes out
a medium‐size duck.

Yeah, she got launched.

Yeah, she really did.

Having seen that,
Leisha's sister's

probably thinking to herself
she's the better one now.

And now, Sam Eddy,
the 24‐year‐old from Florida.

Time to show these ducks
who's boss.

She goes by the nickname
of "Sam Pants."

Says she never
wears pants.

Are there any articles
of clothing that you hate?

Hmm.
That's a great one.

Not pants.
Oh, no.
We know you love pants.

You love pants,
especially these pants.

These ducks got nothing
on this kitty cat.

[ Ducks squeaking ]

Come on, Sam Eddy.
Put a little zest on it.

Uh‐oh.
What happened?

It went in the water.
The ball went in the water.

Oh.
That cuts like a knife.

It really does.

Does she get thrown in now?

So, this will be
Sam's second stroke

after her tee shot
went in the water.

She loves
to make people smile.

Will she be smiling
with this putt?

It goes into the water
again.
That's two.

She's really struggling here
with her accuracy.

Come on, Sam!

Whoo!

And now the crowd is giving her
some great support.

Third stroke.
Sam Eddy.

This gets through
the first duck,

past the second duck,

and past that mark,

onto the bar of soap.
Get over there.

She goes from a struggle
on her first two shots

to a very nice
third stroke there.

Whoo!

Alright, duck,
it's you and me.

It's you and me.

She is primed.

She is getting pumped up,
Joe.

Getting a squat in.

I'll tell you what ‐‐ those
ducks don't stand a chance.

I pity
those rubber duckies.

Can she do it?

The duckies against Sam.

Oh.

Victory ‐‐ duckies.

Here's the replay, Rob.

Well, I'll tell you,
that first rubber ducky

has a real high hit rate.

Yeah.
That's the mama duck,
I believe.

It is the mama duck.
It is.

Mama duck does
some damage, now.

[ Laughs ]

Leisha‐Mae loving it.

Well,
she's experienced that.

How cold was it?

Very.

My poor Floridian soul.

[ Laughing ] I know.

Tessitore:
So, Sam Eddy lies 4.

Leisha‐Mae Telles lies 2,

as both went
into the water,

so the stroke penalty there.

Leisha‐Mae: No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Oh, it's a nice putt
from Leisha‐Mae.

It's not looking good
for me.

As she's just now
two inches away,

she'll be tapping in
for the win here.

You got this!

Tap in and you got it.

Can she advance?

Yes, she does.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Leisha‐Mae,
proving she's no quack,

as she moves on
to Round 2

and stays on track
to try to win

that quarter million dollars.

And avenge
her sister's death.

Her sister did not die,
Riggle.

Huh?
She was eliminated.

She didn't die.

Oh. Got it.

Got it.
You take everything too far.

Got it.

♪♪

What's in your drink?

Eh, it's just gin.

Straight‐up gin.

That smells.
I can smell it.

It smells like gasoline.

That's a strong gin.
It really is.
It's 93 octane.

What's in mine? Yep.

That's the good stuff.
[ Clears throat ]

It's firewater,
right there.

[ Sighs ]
Yeah, that's it.

That is what's gonna
get me...

You got to stay warm.
...arrested.

[ Laughs ]

As we move on,
let's take a closer look

at our next hole.

This is Gopher It.

[ Sighs ]

Golfers are gonna try to ride
our mechanical rodeo gopher

as long as they can.

Now, those who hold on
the longest

get the better position
closer to the hole,

but you got to be careful,

because the green
is infested with gophers

who are gonna pop their head up
and ruin your shot.

Let's go down
to the course.

[ Cheers and applause ]

We have a former NFL player
testing Gopher It,

as James Anderson takes on
Micah Lee Dettmar.

Name's Micah Dettmar.

I'm 33 years old.

I'm originally
from Geneva, Alabama,

and I am the trash‐talking GOAT
of mini golf.

Wearing sleeves and trying
to mini golf

is a little restrictive,

so I got mad
and just ripped off the sleeves.

Welcome to the gun show.

Not gonna say that I'm
the most physically fit

that's probably gonna be
on "Holey Moley,"

but I can hang
with the best of them.

I'm gonna win "Holey Moley."

This is what I do.

4 to 1 on the goal line,
Coach, put me in the game.

My name is James Anderson.

I'm from Chesapeake, Virginia.

I played in the NFL
for 10 years.

If I could handle hitting
300‐pound men,

I'm not worried
about a windmill.

These obstacles better watch out
for me.

"Holey Moley" is the Super Bowl
of mini golf.

This is my first Super Bowl,
and I want to win it.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

So, Micah Lee,

32‐year‐old physical therapist
down in Alabama.

This sport is popular
down in Alabama.

Mechanical gopher riding
is popular in Alab‐‐

They're huge college
football fans down there.

You got the Tide,
you got War Eagle.

Oh, they have wonderful
college football,

but they also have wonderful
mechanical gopher riding

down there, too.

I‐I'm not sure that
that's a fact.

There he is right behind us,
Riggle.

Yeah!
Hey, Micah Lee!
What's going on, brother?

There he is.
Hey!

[ Laughs ]
You're screwed.

He really is,
isn't he?

Ohh.
Okay.

Dead man walking.
There he is, right there.

[ Air horn blows ]

So, here he goes.

We'll see what time
that he can log

here on Gopher It.

What is this?
Is this a kiddy ride

out in front
of the supermarket?

This thing
can get going, now.

You know, just warming him up
a little bit.

Over 15 feet up
on that gopher mound.

All it takes is one swift move
of that joystick

on the mechanical gopher,

and Micah Lee
is down and out.

Oh, he's coming off the back
of it.

You get thrown by that?

Is there butter
on his pants?

He just slipped off,
like a wet noodle.

The first 24 seconds of
that ride was incredibly slow.

[ Laughing ] Yeah.

And then 0.6 ‐‐

And then the 0.6, when they
just turned it just a beat,

just a little bit,

he went
slip‐sliding away.

So, 24.6 seconds
is the time to beat.

James Anderson, after
a very successful career

as an NFL linebacker ‐‐

played for the Panthers,
played for the Bears.

One day,
you're an NFL linebacker.

The next day, you're riding
a mechanical gopher.

[ Laughs ]

Oh.

[ Air horn blow ]

Whoa!
He's out of the gates!

It's hot!
It's electric!

[ Laughs ]
He's barely moving.

24.6 is all he has
to beat here.

I'm not even sure he realizes
it's started at this point.

He's leaning back.

Little bit of a dip there.

Don't ‐‐ James, I don't ‐‐
Hold on, there.

Hold on, now.

A little bit
of a wiggle to it,

leaning to the side.

Oh, oh.
That gets testy.

That gets testy.

He's got
some great balance.

Oh, they're giving him
a much harder ride.

Now it's starting
to speed up.

Now, this is
a much harder ride.

And look at James Anderson.

Uh‐oh.

And then...
Whoa!

...goes down
the gopher mound,

but that is a winning ride
by James Anderson.

Gets the better ball
position.

10 seconds more
than Micah Lee.

A gopher can't beat me,
man.

[ Laughter ]

Riggle: James Anderson
pant game.

You like that?
Yes.

I've shown you my pants,
haven't I, Joe?

I've only seen them
50 times ‐‐

Rob, I don't need to see
the pants again.

Rob.
We've seen the pants.

Check this out, Joe.
I see the pants.

I see the socks.
Look at the socks, Joe.

"Holey Moley" socks.
Very proud of the socks.

[ Laughs ]

[ Gopher chirps ]

Oh, God! Oh, what?!
Oh!

Oh!
You really don't see that
coming, do you?

No, you do not, sir.

[ Gophers chirping ]

There he goes.
Does a nice job of it,

and down the back ramp.

Is that go‐‐
Oh.

Runs it past, but still just
to get past the two gophers,

because Micah Lee Dettmar
is gonna have to contend

with three
of the popping gopher heads.

That's a lot.

That's a lot
to contend with.

♪♪

Wow.
Wow! He slaloms it!

That was an incredible putt
by Micah Lee!

He did slalom that!

How in the world
did he do that?

Skill!

Able to slalom past
all three gopher heads

and put it closer
than James Anderson.

Micah Lee's daughter there
with Jeannie Mai,

and she looks really proud
of her dad.

Watch this, right here.

You can see the concern
on James Anderson's face here,

as he knows he's left
with a more difficult putt.

Anderson
on a long approach,

and he runs it past
to the right.

Go ahead.
Finish her up.

So, Anderson, for 3.

♪♪

And he will card a 3,

so Micah Lee Dettmar will be
putting for the win.

Don't get nervous.
It's just a putt.

Hey, yo,
I'm just sitting 2.

A little bit closer.

That's okay.

Tessitore: This putt

for a victory
in round number 1.

Does he have it in him?

Ah.

No, he pushes it off,

and he left something there,
as well.

Riggle: Yeah.
Hey, no pressure
on this putt.

Remember, Anderson has already
carded a 3,

so Micah Lee has
to have this

to force a putt‐off
on Gopher It.

The sleeveless wonder
misses,

and James Anderson,
the former NFL linebacker,

completes the talented lineup,

ready to tackle Round 2.

Wow.
And we will see
how that plays out

when we return
to "Holey Moley."

Stick around.

Tessitore: Welcome back
to "Holey Moley."

Riggle: I'll tell you what
the network is saying.

More Riggle and Joe.

More.
More. Not less.

More.
Yep. Zoom in.

What? You even know
where your camera is.

Oh, yeah.
I don't know
where my camera is.

See if you can find it,
Riggle.

I want to see
if I can find it.
See if you can find it.

[ Laughs ]

There's only three cameras.
I had a good shot.

Up next,
it is Putt the Plank.

Here's Jeannie Mai.

Mai: Thanks, Joe.

Golfers first putt
over the bow

to X marks the spot
on the other side.

Whoever gets closest to the X
will get the help of the best

and the only golf pirate
in all of "Holey Moley"...

Captain Long Jon Lovitz!

Mai: He will chip
the winner's ball

across the lagoon to the green
on the other side,

then he'll chip the loser's ball
across blindfolded.

Who's gonna be named first mate,

and who will be shark meat
on Putt the Plank?

James Anderson,
the longtime NFL linebacker,

taking on Connie Amarel,

the cookie maker and
children's story book author.

Both have played
their qualifying putts,

and it's linebacker James
who has landed closer to the X.

Closer.
Just a little outside.

Oh.

Right there in the hole.

You got that?
Yep. [ Chuckles ]

Tessitore: So, one eyepatch
for Captain Long Jon Lovitz,

as he will chip over the lagoon
for James Anderson.

Over the lagoon,

and into the sand.

He's gonna have a lot
to deal with

that deep in the bunker.

That doesn't look like a win
to me.

Not at all.

You try chipping
off wood.

Maybe it's not as easy
as it looks.

Now the second eyepatch
is being put on,

as Course Marshal Joe will hand
Captain Long Jon Lovitz

his pirate hat
back.

How much you think the hat
affects his swing here?

I think all of it's affecting
his swing, to be honest.

‐I can't see.
‐Oh, you can't see?

No.
Put the club next to the...

Next to your club?
Yeah.

There you go.

[ Chuckles ]
Good luck, Jon.

Tessitore: So, here's
Captain Long Jon Lovitz,

his chip
with two eyepatches on.

The ball of Connie Amarel.

Riggle: Good Lord.
And he runs it

and skims it and goes off
the treasure chest.

Will it stay on?

I love you, Jon.

Tessitore:
How about that?

The ricochet,
and it works.

So, Connie Amarel is in better
position than James Anderson.

We're gonna have to rethink
this system.

He does better blindfolded
than he does with his vision.

How can that be?
I don't understand.

James, walk the plank!

Tessitore: And now
James Anderson

will walk the plank,

and you have to think,

with his level of athleticism,

all the years
in the NFL,

he will have no problem
getting ahold of this shark.

I actually feel sorry
for the shark.

Here goes James.

Onto the fin,

and he will
pull himself up.

Whoo!
And now he's riding
the shark

in a show of dominance.

He's making this
look easy.

I mean,
a former NFL player.

He's hungry for the win.

♪♪

There he goes.
Oh, can he hang on?

And he's got
to pull himself up!

Oh, a stroke penalty,
as he let go.
He let go!

James Anderson, with all
that upper‐body strength,

takes the stroke penalty,
as he went into the water.

That was incredible.
Wow.

NFL linebacker fails
on Putt the Plank.

So, he lies 2 now,
and he's in the trap.

He really did knock the heck
out of that shark, though.

I think the shark
is swimming slanted right now.

Connie, walk the plank!
Okay.

Tessitore: Connie Amarel,
65 years old,

is walking the plank,

the woman who says cookies
make everything better.

I don't know if she can tempt
the shark with any cookies.

Oh, my gosh.

Please be safe, Connie.
Please.

I don't know
if I want to see

what's about to happen here,
Joe.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh.
Well, you know what?

I feel better about it.

I really do.

I really do.

The last thing I needed
was Connie

and her sweet face embedded
into the side of a shark.

Hey,
and what a gentleman.

Great sportsmanship.
What a gentleman.

There's James,
helping her out.

Nicely done, James.

Well done. That's what
"Holey Moley's"

really all about,
right there.

You got to help, too,
Connie.
The leg.

Tessitore:
I think this is ‐‐

at a certain point,
it's dead weight, and...

You got to help.
You got to help.

He's just dragging Connie.

[ Both laugh ]

I've seen ‐‐ I mean ‐‐
I believe ‐‐

I thought this was gonna be
really sweet.

It got really awkward,
fast.

Boy.

That got real awkward,
didn't it?

Oh, boy. Oh.

He did his best, though.
He got her up.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Now, what's interesting
is that Connie has been

baking cookies for pro athletes
her whole life.

Here she is going up
against a pro athlete,

a former NFL player.
Yes.

They both lie 2.

So, we'll see how James Anderson
plays this.

An NFL veteran

who still has that hunger
for pro sports competition,

and he said, "I want to come out
to 'Holey Moley.'"

There he is.

Through the sand.
Couldn't get out.

If I'm James Anderson
and I don't win this hole,

I get back on the shark,
go back to the pirate ship,

and I throw Lovitz in.

Just smack him around.

Just put him
in the drink...

Yeah.
...and walk away.

So, this,
because of the stroke penalty,

for a 4.

‐Ah.
‐Ooh.

Wow. That was close.

He sits 4 past the cup.

So, now Connie Amarel,
the 65‐year‐old cookie lady,

is gonna be putting
for the win.

Remember, she took out
Gerard Dyson,

who's known
as Sergeant Swag,

in round number 1
on Slip N' Putt.

Can she now claim
an NFL player?

She does.
She does.

The cookie lady
is off to Round 3

in the finals
of "Holey Moley,"

defeating
an NFL linebacker.

Well done, Connie!

Oh. You lost to
the cookie lady, man!

Do you think James Anderson
regrets

fishing her
out of the water now?

I do.
Yeah.

He should have just thrown her
right back in there.

Yep.

♪♪

Tessitore: Welcome back
to "Holey Moley,"

the best mini golf show
this side of the Milky Way.

Our final Round 2 battle
is about to get underway,

so try not to stare

as we get up close and personal
with Uranus.

[ Chuckles ]

Let's go down to Jeannie,

as she takes us
through this hole.

Jeannie?

Mai: Thanks, Joe.

Players will put
up around the rings of Uranus,

trying to get their ball
to the green on the other side.

Then they'll need to run
across those planets.

If they fall, it'll cost them
a stroke penalty.

This is seriously one of the
most daunting mini golf holes

in the entire galaxy,
guys.

Let's see how they do.

Our next matchup is a battle
between Samuel Babba

and Leisha‐Mae Telles,

two of our Round 1 winners.

Remember, Leisha‐Mae was able
to get the victory

on Putter Ducky.

Meanwhile, Samuel Babba,
he conquered Hole Number Two.

Samuel Babba, an optimist.

No, he's not an optimist.

He's an optimist.
It says it right here.

No, no, no, no.
He's an optician.

That's what I said.

You said an optimist.

That's not a profession,
being an optimist.

You're an optimist,
I'm an optimist.

He's an optician.

I've never done any eye work
in my life.

So, the big glasses
and the Kenny G hairstyle ‐‐

that is Samuel Babba.

Up and over.

Does he grab the channel?

No.
He just missed.

Just missed it.

It runs into the sand

and the craters on Uranus.
[ Groans ]

There's nothing worse
than having something

get caught in Uranus.

[ Chuckles ]

Glasses are coming off because
he knows the stakes are high,

and you know these planets
don't give an inch.

Meaning he doesn't want to smash
his face into one.

Whoo! Whoo!

Samuel Babba'll
make that run now.

Hey, is that the moon
in the background, Joe?

That is the moon
in the background there,

or just part
of our lights.

How about that?

See what Samuel Babba
can offer up here.

There he goes. Just crawling
his way onto Earth,

and now the big jump
to Jupiter.

Can't see a thing.

Look at this.
Splash!

Here we go. Babba.
Splash!

Can he stay dry?

Riggle: Wow!
He does.

Now you got my attention,
sir.

Two planets to go.

Oh.
Oh, yeah.

This is the one.

This is always the tester.

Hey! He did it!

Two big leaps
onto the green.

The planets have aligned,

as he went over four of them
to remain dry.

Would you look at this?

Samuel Babba, giving
the turkey neck to Leisha‐Mae!

You don't give the turkey neck
to people!

He gave it to her.

Whew.

‐Come on, Leisha!
‐Leisha‐Mae.

Remember,
her sister Seshia

was on last year's
"Holey Moley."

But alive and well.

She's doing great.

She's absolutely
alive and well.

So, this is not
about vengeance?

It is not.

That's a big swing.

That's a driver's swing.

You have to be aggressive
with your actions on Uranus.

Oh, she may get it.

Oh, this has ‐‐
Oh, just missed the channel.

Oh, she's gonna end up
right next to Babba.

Hey, I'm just letting you know,
I made that look easy!

Planet number one.

Oh!
And she slides back.

That didn't last long
at all.

I hate to see it happen.

Hate to see it happen.

I think she lost her footing
on the lunge.

Yeah, I just don't think
the Superman strategy

really is how you want
to go about this.

Almost.

Almost. Oh!

Ooh, that water is cold.

That's just twisting
the knife.

Tessitore:
It sure is.

Make sure you chip it.

So, Samuel Babba,
lining it up.

This for the win.

Could be challenging
out of the sand with that ridge.

Nice.

Not bad.

He sits 2 from there now.

[ Sighs ]

Now, Leisha‐Mae Telles

did incur
that stroke penalty.

Got to drain it.

Right here, right now.

No.

She comes up short
of the ridge.

And this time,
she chops it over

and puts it in.
How about that?

That was well done.

So, that for a 4.

Very well done.

Now it's up to Samuel Babba,
AKA Babba the Putt.

Copyright,
trademark Rob Riggle.

[ Laughs ]

So, Samuel Babba is going to
have a short putt for the win.

And he makes it.

On his birthday, Sam Babba is
in the final round

of "Holey Moley,"
and he's one step away

from landing the biggest
birthday present of his life,

a quarter million dollars.

Can he go all the way?

Find out after the break.

Rob, who do you think is inside
the astronaut suit there?

Well, my understanding was
it was Buzz Aldrin,

legendary second man
to step on the moon.

It's not Buzz Aldrin.
But if it's not,

it's probably definitely
somebody

from the cast
of "Apollo 13."

Tom Hanks.
Maybe Kevin Bacon.

You think Tom Hanks
or Kevin Bacon

has been spending hours
inside the astronaut suit?

Standing very still.

And I hope they're having
a great time.

Tessitore: Welcome back
to "Holey Moley."

We're about to put our
final two players to the test.

One of them's gonna walk away
with the plaid jacket,

The Golden Putter,
and, most importantly,

a chance
at a $250,000 putt.

That'll come on Stephen Curry's
mysterious masterpiece,

the Tomb of Nefertiti,
in the season finale.

Right now, we've got one
of the hardest holes

in all of mini golf,
and definitely the hottest.

It's Dragons Breath.

Golfers will put on
their shiniest armor,

gonna putt while standing

in the path of dragons
breathing real fire.

You have to hit your ball
into one of the three holes

under the stone archway,

and the drawbridge
will drop down,

allowing them in.

Will they be able to brave
the heat and sink their shot?

We're about to find out.

Fun fact ‐‐ Dragons Breath
is also the name

of my new line of cologne,

and just like my cologne,

this hole has been described
as way too intense.

Would you look
at the cookie lady?

This 65‐year‐old
has proved age is but a number.

Totally underestimated
on Slip N' Putt,

she's turned out to be a
true force to be reckoned with,

and now she's up against
the bellicose march

of one Samuel Babba.

Samuel Babba, making his way
to the tee here.

His motto, of course,
is "Golf is about having fun.

Whoever has the most fun
wins."

I typically think
it's the lowest score who wins.

Not according to Babba.

And the fire is coming,

as Sam Babba is engulfed
in flames.

You can start to see
how it can affect his vision.

He's going for it!

Oh! He just hit the wood
on that drawbridge,

right next
to that prime middle hole.

And now
his second stroke here.

Can he line it up?

There it is.
And he gets it through.

Takes a run at it,

and off the back wall.

That's a tough lie.
That is tough.

That is a very tough lie
to get through that middle hole,

and now the drawbridge
will come down.

Oh, and he's riding
the horse.

He's riding the horse.
He's riding the pony.

And, you know, that wind
has actually picked up,

which is actually fueling
the fire on his back.

And they're gonna have to
come out with the extinguisher.

There's
so much fire there.

That thing blowing away.
Got charred embers everywhere.

Still not out.
Whoo!

I'm a little nervous
for old sweet, sweet Connie.

Her husband, Mike,
has been supporting her

every step of the way
in the gallery.

There is Mike.

"Go, Cookie Lady,"
"Go, Connie."

Oh, and look at that.
Oh. Instantly engulfed.

Does that get through?

Connie Amarel,
the 65‐year‐old cookie lady,

is on the green in one.

Oh, boy.

So, she now has
the advantage,

as she is burning up.

Her cookies are extra crispy
tonight, Joe.

So is her back.

She's still got that smile
on her face, though.

God bless.

What a putt.
Look at this.

The cookie lady.

She doesn't just bake.

She can play a mean game
of extreme mini golf.

And Mike is gonna hand her
her lucky cap,

her cookie cap.

Oh, you're kidding?

As well as one of her cookies
to charge her up.

A little energy boost
for the cookie lady.

The incredible journey
for Connie Amarel.

Has to contend
with that grave.

Puts it over.
It takes a ride.

It's gonna come up
well short.

She now sits 2.

Sam Babba turns
to Deputy Course Marshal Colin

and asks for relief.

He's not gonna get it.

Not from old stingy fingers.

Never shows emotion.
Have you ever noticed that

about
Deputy Course Marshal Colin?

Heartless.

Everything on the line here

between the 30‐year‐old optician
and the 65‐year‐old cookie lady.

Ooh.

[ Crowd groans ]

That was a good run
at it.

Every one of these competitors
dreams of that Golden Putter

and that famed
plaid jacket.

Connie can make the dream
come true right here!

Yes!
Oh, my gosh.

Way to go, Connie!

The cookie lady has baked up
the right recipe

for a big win
at "Holey Moley."

I see
what you did there.

Recipe, baked.

Nice.
Cookie lady.

I like that.
Thank you.

Champ is in the building.

Oh, my gosh.

Welcome to the club,
first and foremost.

You feel good?

I'm shocked, you know?

Hey, try this on for size.

Here we go.
How's that fit?

It's just amazing.

You are officially a champ.
Welcome to the club.

Tessitore:
Thanks for joining us.

Tune in next week
for more "Holey Moley."

♪♪