Original subtitles

Gather around, everyone. Please, Doris, Diane.

With this being Judy's last morning with us,

I was thinking it'd be nice if we could go around the room

and say what we appreciate most about her. I'll start us off.

Scott, you really don't need to--

Your scones.

Judy, your scones are truly a revelation.

One bite, one crumb can send meplaces I never before dreamt I could go.

Your flavor combinations are sorefined and, excuse my language, freakin' electric.

Look at me here. I'm babbling on and on.

Doris, is there something you'dlike to say?

Sure.

Well, Judy, even though I wouldn't feed your macaroons to my dogs.

I still respect your work ethicand don't wish you any specificharm.

I am so sorry to cut this short.

Doris, a moving tribute.

I'm so grateful to have had theopportunity to work alongside each one of you.

But I have to go now. My planet needs me. Bye.

I thought her scones were shit.

Gary, come on, dude. That's allwrong, dude.

The Quilt Queens? And the P--whose P is that? Why is there a P--

Amir.

Judy, hi. As you can see,we're busy today so what do youwant?

As promised.

Okay. I'll listen to it.

Okay.

What? What? Why are you still here?

Oh, uh. I see Shark Dick just dropped off the Queef Queens show.

Very perceptive. What gave thataway?

Have you found a replacement opener yet? Will there be a replacement?

I don't know. I don't know.

Well, you know, we could open.

Listen. I just, it's not a goodidea. I don't think that's--

Amir, please.

You said we needed something recorded, so we made a demo.

You said we needed some experience,so we are about to embark on ourfirst tour.

Can you please, just please, listen to the tape before you make a decision?

Fine, fine. Just leave.

Okay.

Just go.

All right. I'll call you later today to see what you think.

If you call me before Friday morning, I'm going to burn the demo.

All right. Friday morning it is.

Goodbye.

Kay. Hi.

Go. Leave.

Yes!

Morning.

It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

Mel. Mel!

This place is still a sty. I thought you twowere gonna clean it while I wasgone.

I had to replace all my drum heads.

I started to clean

but then I needed to get high cause I hate cleaning.

But then I got tired cause weed makes me sleepy.

Then I needed to sleep, so I slept.

I'm sorry.

Band meeting. Kitchen.

Let's go. Up, up, up!

Okay. So...jobs quit, bags packed, merch boxed, guitars strung, drum heads replaced.

Tour route mapped.

Six shows, seven days, with thepossibility of a seventh show back here with...

Mel, drum roll, please.

The Queef Queens.

The House of Independents show?

The very same.

Shutup.

No way.

Yes, way. And we all know who drums for the Queef Queens, right?

No.

Yes. Jenn Jennings.

And we all know Jenn Jennings' claim to fame, right?

No.

Also, no.

She is owner, operator of Alliteration Records.

Oh, man. Alliteration has such an awesome roster of bands.

Yeah.

In the past year alone, they'veput out the Brain Busters LP, the Acid Cat EP,

and two seven inches from Turd Toilet.

And the soon to be released debut album from DUH.

Precisely.

We open for the Queef Queens.

Jenn Jennings sees us, Jenn Jennings loves us.

I give Jenn Jennings our demo.

Jenn Jennings offers us a recorddeal.

We no longer have to work shit jobs

and we just get to tour and make music for the rest of our lives.

Fuckin' A. Yeah!

I wouldn't celebrate just yet, or ever.

Life has a way of dangling these small carrots of opportunity

in front of our faces,

ready to completely destroy anddismantle any hope in sight.

The world is chaos. And, though together, we are alone to suffer.

Okay. Everybody up. Up, c'mon.

We're going on tour, yeah! We're going on tour, yeah! We're going on tour, yeah!

Okay. Max.

I don't want us to look likea bunch of amateurs on our veryfirst tour,

so let's practice some stage banter.

Right now?

Yes.

Why?

Because you suck at talking.

Mm-hm. Let's role play.

Pretend we just finished our first song.

What would you say?

Okay. Uh...hi, I'm Max and I'm here to say, uh

we're in the band DUH, and we're playing right now.

And, um...we hope you all like music...

Um...our music, uh, cause, you know, music's special,um,

and you're specialfor being here with us tonight.

Okay. Please stop.

Why? What's wrong with that--Whoa!

Yikes.

Aw. Jesus, Max. Are you okay?

Yeah, all good. Face broke the fall.

Aw. Now, where is the van?

Huh. Uh...oh, I see it.

Shit.

No, no, no. Stop! Do not get in that van! I'm coming!

That's weird. Do we know those guys?

The van's getting repoed, dumbass.

Please, don't! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Goddammit!

My one-hitter was in there. Fuck.

Why is this happening?

Guys, we can fix this. We can. I think. Probably.

I warned us last night. The world is cruel and unforgiving.

Shit.

Now that I think about it,the creditors were calling a lotlast week.

Fuuuuuuu--

Okay. Last one.

Say a little prayer.

Now, the waiting game.

Hey!

Keep walking.

Hey, is this you?

You the kids that just tagged mywindshield?

Uh...yes.

That is my property. You are soliciting on private property.

We're sorry, sir.

Mm-hm.

Now, what's the meaning of this?

Okay. We didn't know you were inthere, so I'll just take this--

Now, what do you guys need a vanfor?

Cause of the man, man.

Yeah. And we need it prontoso that our band can go on tour.

You guys are in a band?

Yeah.

Oh shit. You guys rip?

Well, I believe we do. Yeah.

Oh. Right on.

Well, does that mean that we can borrow your van?

Well, no.

Full disclosure, that van back there also happens to be my home for the moment.

You see, in this cut-throat, capitalistic world in which we now live,

your boy has fallen on hard times.

The game is rigged and I am buta casualty.

A victim.

But I am hopeful.

Hey. I can drive y'all.

I can roadie, too. I mean, everytouring band needs a roadie. Don't they?

Ju--just throw me a few bucks and pay for gas and what-not.

Well, we could leave right now.What do you say?

Um, not that I care, but who is the man driving the mystery van?

Oh. That's, um...

Sorry, I didn't get your name.

My name's Peckerhead.

What?

Peck-er-head.

That is not your name.

Well, that is what my daddy called me til the day he died.

Peckerhead's giving us a ride inhis van.

You can call me Peck. My friends call me Peck.

I'll stick with Peckerhead. Thanks.

Ladies' choice.

Well, Peck, on behalf of the entire band, it is wonderful to have you on board.

And now it's tour time.

Hey.

Hey. Uh, we're running a littlelate and I don't wanna piss off the promoter.

Any chance you could go, I don'tknow, like,

ten miles above the speed limitwhen we're back on the road?

I'm afraid not, Judy pie.

You see, this highway is teemingwith patrolmen who wouldn't take kindly to a bunch of punks.

Yo. Find anything, detective?

All aboard.

Locked?

Glad we hauled ass.

I thought load-in was at 5:00?

That's what the promoter said.

So, how did you guys come up with the name DUH?

Uh, James Taylor was already taken.

Someone's here.

Um, hello, sir.

You with the band?

Uh, yeah. Judy. Hi.

Uh, we spoke over the phone.

Okay.

Anything else I can help you with?

Um... well, uh, should we startto load in?

Sure. Whatever.

It's not like there's a rush.

Sound guy doesn't get her til 9:00 and,uh, you're the only band bookedtonight.

What? I thought this was a showcase.

Uh, yeah. And your band is beingshowcased.

How much material do you have prepared?

Can you handle three hours witha 15 minute break between sets?

Uh... we have 20 minutes of original material.

22 with a Misfits cover.

Are you kidding me?

I don't know where we're supposed to plug in.

Whoa!

I didn't say to stop, drummer.

Stop!

Alright, bass, you're up.

We check vocal mics first.

Test. One, two, three. Test. One, two, three. Test.

Uh, yeah. Can I just get a little bit more of her in my monitor?

I can't hear anything.

Um... test. One, two. Test. One, two.

Uh, yeah--

Hey, just remember what we worked on. Okay?

You got this.

Hi. Uh--

Fuck it. Let's just play.

What's this?

Your cut.

It's three dollars.

Yeah, a dollar a head.

What the fuck am I gonna do withthree dollars?

I don't know. Invest in a betterband? See ya.

Careful.

Well, I thought y'all did just great.

How much cash we rake in?

Shutup.

Like, what's the point of payingus at all?

That brings our total funds to $11.

Great. We're screwed.

Mm-hm.

I guess we have to take justiceinto our own hands.

Stand down, McClane.

Fuck.

Chaos, man. Fucking chaos.

Hey, what time is it?

Almost midnight.

Let's just get out of here. Hmm?

Yeah.

I'm just gonna use the bathroombefore we hit the road.

Yeah. Make sure you piss and shitall over while you're in there.

Roger that.

Just wash your hands.

Man. Peck must be going to townin there.

Should I poop, too?

Hello?

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Get in the van. We're leaving.

What is it?

Where are the keys to the van?

I don't know. I think Peck has them. Why?

Oh, hey. Uh, what are y'all carrying on about?

Stay the fuck back!

Whoa. What the fuck is going on?

Oh, no. It's all right. It's all right.

You know, Judy just got spookedbecause

she caught me roughing up that promoter man back there.

-He killed him. -What?

He's a fucking monster.

Now, let's not resort to name-calling.

Did you really kill the promoter? Is that true?

Yes!

Of course not.

Then why the fuck would she saythat?

Hell if I know.

All I wanted was just to give him one good pop before we hit the road.

There were pieces of him everywhere. He's dead.

Oh, I beg to differ.

He is very much alive.

I saw it. He was eating him and--

He's alive.

Dead.

Alive.

Dead.

Alive.

D-E-A-D.

All right, everyone. Shut up!

Okay. I'm gonna go check it out.

Okay. Wait.

You may not want to go in there.

Eww.

Y'all said he had it coming.

Where's his head?

Goddamn.

All right, y'all. C'mon. We gotta hit the road soon.

We got other towns to rock and what-not.

We need to get his keys and go.

Okay.

Guys?

It's really fucked up in there.

Where's the key to the van?

Oh! Now I'll admit, an explanation is owed but that is my van out there.

Now let me buy you some dinner

and then if you still feel thatI'm in the wrong,

we can unload your stuff and go our separate ways.

Mmm?

No.

Go ahead. Eat up. It's-- it's on me.

I guess I should open with an apology.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I murdered the hell out of that promoter man

before I had the chance to run it by y'all.

And I guess I should have been more forthcoming about my condition.

And exactly what condition wouldthat be, Peckerhead?

Well, every night at midnight I turn into some thing.

Now I don't know what that thing is.

I honestly can't remember how or when it started,

but it only lasts for thirteen minutes.

And then I'm fine.

Fine? You killed and ate a man.

Please, keep it down.

Okay. I did, yes.

Right. And, uh, who's to say itwouldn't be one of us next time?

One of my band mates? Shit, no.

I-- I am in complete control.

Control. Okay.

Hey, Peck, do you have diabetes.

No, why?

I thought so.

What's that?

You know exactly what this is.

I found this in his glove compartment earlier today.

So you're on smack, too.

Aw Peck. Say it ain't so.

Now, now hold the phone.

You think that, that I use this for shooting dope? Hardly.

How do you think I control thisthing, huh?

I use this to sedate myself every night to keep the beast at bay.

Sorry.

Why wasn't the beast kept at baytonight?

For, for one thing I didn't think it was right

for some joker to take advantageof my friends like that.

And when I saw how worried Judywasabout getting to the next show,

what with lack of funds for gasand food, well, I had to do something.

So I stuck up for all of us.

By eating him.

I realize that some might thinkthat that's an extreme response,

but how else were we gonna to get paid?

Well, we didn't get paid, so.

Yeah.

Au contraire.

Holy shit.

There's enough here for gas andfood, maybe even a shower.

I understand how scary that musthave looked.

But I got this. Hmm?

Please? It won't happen again.

Thank you.

I'm going to go pay for this.

I'll be right back.

No.

Come on, Judy. I think we should give him another chance.

No. He is literally a man-eatingmonster.

A monster who killed an assholepromoter that fucked us and a ton of other bands, too.

Yeah.

No.

Look, Judy. He said it wouldn't happen again.

He called us his friends.

No.

All right. Let's take a vote.

All in favor to let Peck stay onwith us for the time being, raise 'em.

Sun's up, darling, not a monsterin sight.

What are we gonna do?

Uh, continue to let him drive usaround.

And pay for two star hotel roomsand gas and snacks and...

I'm not kidding.

What was it like last night?

With Peck?

Yeah.

Fucking horrific.

I mean, you saw the aftermath.

No no no, I mean like what did he look like?

Like, did he get like all rippedlike Incredible Hulk

or did he like turn into a sexypanther like in Cat People?

No. No, nothing like that.

He was just like a paler, uglierversion of himself if you can imagine.

It's tough.

Aren't you the slightest bit worriedthat he could turn on one of us?

Mmm. No.

I mean he seems to have a systemin place.

Or maybe, I just don't fear death anymore.

Oh. Cool.

Hey Peck, can I ask you a question?

Sure buddy. What's up?

What do people taste like?

Oh, well. That's tough to say.

You know, some people taste likedog shit.

And then other people taste like watermelon sherbet.

Hmm. Sounds like a metaphor forhumanity.

That's deep, dude.

What is the cheapest van on yourlot?

Uh, what about to rent?

Okay, what is the cheapest vehicle you have that runs?

Jesus. Okay.

Do you know of any other numbersthat I should try?

Yes. No, I already tried them.

That is how I got your number. So.

Um, okay. Thank you. Goodbye.

House of Independents, this is Amir.

Amir, hi. Uh, this is Judy, fromDUH.

Uh, I know I'm calling a little bit earlier than--

Judy. I said Friday. Goodbye.

Oh, hey Peck, wait.

Oh, good morning, miss.

Uh, I was just gonna get some joe.

Can I grab you a cup?

No. But, can I borrow the keys to the van?

Oh sure.

Ah, nice try Judy pie but I'm just going to hold on to these bad boys, huh?

I'll be right back.

God, come on, Judy. We've donenothing but listen to your musicthe whole time.

Yeah, because my mixes rule, your mixes honk.

No they don't.

Every one of my tapes is carefully curated.

Each one tells a story.

Yours are so one note, Max.

You have even been known to put the same song twice on one side.

Who does that?

Me!

No!

Give it to me!

Suck my clit.

All right, all right, all rightnow.

Ya'll quit it.

Now the rules of the road dictate that the driver is in charge of picking the music.

Now Judy, you had yesterday.

Max, you've got today and then Mel, you can have tomorrow if you want it.

Nothing matters.

Max, will you do the honors?

For a band named Pissface this is a real quaint HQ.

How do you know these guys?

Uh, guy. And I don't.

I came across their demo last year and I just cold called the number on the back.

You got gumption to the gills, girl.

How do we know that Pissface isn't a bunch of creeps?

Well, I talked to their bassistNick a couple times on the phone.

Seems like a little bit of a goon, but kind of like a harmless goon.

Judy?

Hey. I'm Nick.

Oh, um. Hi.

Really nice to meet you.

So, I know it's a bit cramped, but you guys can crash in my room.

You can probably fit two in thebed and then we have some sleeping bags

for whoever wants to crash on the floor.

Are you sure that it's cool that we're taking over your space?

Yeah, yeah totally.

So I'll let you guys relax and decompress,

um, but I was thinking maybe later we could grab some beers, go swimming?

Oh man. I bet you can do a sickjackknife.

Well, you'll have to wait and see.

I can't wait.

Okay. Great.

Um, make yourselves at home.

I'm sorry, is it just me,

or is he not one of the most beautiful men we have ever laid eyes on?

I know, right?

He's okay.

He's like a baby deer or something.

Yeah, like a baby deer with perfect teeth.

-Ohh! -Damn!

Mm-hmm.

You better fuck that guy.

Jesus, Mel. Shhh.

Are you guys talking about blowjob eyes?

Yup.

What a fucking babe.

You know, he reminds me of thiscamp counselorI used to have back in the day.

Same emerald green eyes, same impeccable jawline, same inviting smile.

He used to just sit next to me at lunch.

He would just sit down and he would run his--

Ew!

Max, have some decency.

What?

Oh, ew.

Whew. Lookin' good, Maxy boy.

Do it again. Hit me with it.

Hey.

Hi.

Mind if I join you?

Cheers.

Cheers.

Hey Nick, watch this.

Good one, dude.

Thanks!

Max is an odd duck, huh?

Oh yeah. Yeah.

So I'm pretty stoked about the show tomorrow.

Mmm. Me too.

Yeah. I've listened to your band's demo nonstop.

I was actually pretty nervous to meet you guys today.

Oh really?

Yeah. I mean after talking to you on the phoneI didn't think you'd be so cute.

-Not that I didn't think that you would be cute... -Mm-hmm.

Ah. Or attractiveness wasthe only quality that I thoughtabout.

I don't really know what I'm saying right now.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling.

No, please. Ramble away.

I just think that you are cool.

And pretty.

And your band kicks ass.

Nah, no, no. No beer.

More rambles.

Um.

You're cute, too.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Hate to interrupt y'all, but it's almost midnight.

It's time for my insulin.

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck--

Hey.

Everything okay?

Yup. Just tucked Peck in for thenight.

Ah. He knows he doesn't need to sleep in the van, right?

Mmm. No, he does.

Okay.

Well.

Well.

Do you need to borrow a shirt?

Uh. Nah, nah. I'm good.

Headed to bed?

Yeah. Everyone else seems to have headed to their respective sleeping quarters to--

sleep.

Um, well, if you wanted we couldjust sit around here and talk.

Yeah. That sounds nice.

We could... talk.

Aw fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Mmm. Ah. Oh.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit I'm cumming.

What? No!

Oh, I came so hard.

Uh, uh. Fuck, I came so hard.

What? Goddamnit.

Uh. Hey, where are you going? Hmm?

Is it too early to open a beer?

Oh my god, Max.

Nick, what's your favorite potato chip flavor?

Uh, sour cream and onion, bro.

I like gummy worms.

Morning.

What's with all the commotion?

Peck made scones for everybody.

You bake.

Aw, I dabble.

Aw, don't be so modest Peck.

These are the best sconesI've ever had in my entire life.

Mmm. Mmm.

Ah, fuck yeah, ah.

Mmm. Mmm.

Well, thank you kindly, Nicholas.

No, seriously. You should try one.

They give your babies a run fortheir money.

Hot damn.

Judy, you bake?

Mm-hmm.

We should swap recipes sometime.

Mmm. Pass.

You should really try one.

Mmm. Goddammit.

You smoke?

I do.

Ooh. Thank god.

Can I uh, bum one of those?

Shiloh. Dominion Rising.

We're uh, headlining this littlething.

Judy. DUH.

Oh, the opener.

Nice.

Actually, we're going second tolast. So.

And what do you play?

Co-vocalist and bass--

That's cute.

I'm the sole vocalist. Lyricist,too.

In addition I also writemost of the music for the band.

Cool. That must be, um--

I guess you could call our musica meditation on love and loss.

But, ultimately I think it's just about the human experience.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not all raw emotion.

We can get super political too.

Our last track was about Laos.

What about it?

You're kidding right?

So, are you guys on tour or what?

Yeah.

Actually, uh, this is our first--

Us too.

Yup. Four days. For now.

I gotta tell you though, the gig life, not easy.

When you guys get there you'll see.

It's not the romantic adventureyou thought it would be.

That's good actually.

♪ When you get there and you see

♪ that's it's not the romantic adventure you thought it would be ♪

Shit.

I gotta get this poetry on paper.

Thanks for the smoke.

Hey.

Can I get that back?

Oh.

Wait, look at that. What is that?

Ohh.

Hey. How ya doing?

Seven songs, five bucks. Can't beat that deal, huh?

Fun fact, uh, we commissioned local artistMarshmallow Dicks to create thefront sleeve.

Gorgeous, right?

Be sure to stop back again.

I would ease up on that sales pitch.

What do you mean?

Desperation don't sell demos, dude.

Did you take a box of demos?

Have you been giving any away?

No.

Ah, shit.

We are definitely missing a box.

Hey!

I found my new calling, y'all.

35 demos. Sold.

Hi, are you selling the DUH demo?

Ah, you bet.

I'll take one. Actually make that two.

All right, ten bucks.

Thank you.

Awesome. You guys rule.

Thank you, ma'am.

Ah, so glad we met, dude. So glad.

Hey, pleasure was all mine. Really.

Stay in touch?

Oh, no doubt, amigo.

You smell so good. Always.

Okay, okay, okay.

What's this?

An invoice.

For what?

The morning after pill.

Max, get that man a beer.

No, make that two beers. I wanta beer.

Woo-hoo! You are crazy.

I didn't think that they were that bad.

Except, did you notice that thelead singerhad an emotional support animalon stage?

Like, what's with--

I'm going to bed. Let's do this.

C'mon Judy. It's barely 11:00.

Too bad.

Come on, dude.

We just opened some beers and you're already making him sleep outside.

Tough. I don't want to stay up any longer.

So don't. We'll make sure he goes under before midnight.

No. Please, Judy?

Tonight's been so much fun.

Please? Just a few more minutes?

Yeah, no, no. We'll take care ofhim.

Go to bed.

Goodnight.

Night, Casanova.

Anyways, his dogis like his therapist, sort of?

No, come on, give me. Let me try! Oh--

Oh shit, I still have some on me. Fuck.

Okay, okay. I know how to do it.

What do I press?

Yo! Put your head down so he can get the top of your dome.

Yes ma'am, yes ma'am.

Oh, hey, hey, good mornin'!

What's going on?

Oh man. It was so gnarly.

You're not gonna believe what happened.

Try me.

Fucking metalheads, dude.

Metalheads?

Uh-huh, in the parking lot.

In the parking lot?

Yup.

Metalheads in the parking lot?

I can't believe you slept through the whole thing!

What happened with the metalheads in the parking lot?

Well, anyone wanna do the honors?

No, not me. I hate needles.

I'll go get you a blanket.

What the fuck?

Metalheads.

Hey Sid Vicious, that's a nice blankie.

Yeah, where's your fucking mohawk?

Your boyfriend cut it off?

Have a beer on us, punk.

Have at it, Peck.

Hey. Hey. Are you all right?

Excuse me, fellas?

Fellas! Fellas, hello?

You think you could take this somewhere else?

Me and my friends are trying tosleep here.

You're not being very respectful.

Please.

Hey, fuckwad!

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

All right, asshole.

You're cruisin' for a fuckin' bruisin'.

Oh, shit! Fuck!

Ew!

Gruesome!

Ah! Ah! Oh fuck!

Oh, God!

Oh no! Oh that's crazy!

No, man. That's brutal, man.

That's-- that's brutal man.

Come on, come on. No, man.

Help! Help!

Hell nah, man! Hell n- ah!

Damn!

Cool.

So?

So what?

Pretty cool, huh?

Cool?

You think Peck killing two morepeople is cool?

Jeez, ungrateful much?

I'll say.

Peck broke his promise.

You broke your promise.

Uh, to defend Max.

Yeah, and your uninterrupted Judy sleep.

Unbelievable!

Now, don't be too hard on Judy.

I don't need any veneration.

I was just doin' what any friendwould do in a situation like that.

Fuck!

Fu-- what day is today?

Wednesday?

Friday?

Yeah, it's Friday.

Friday. Yeah. It's Friday.

I need to get to a phone!

House of Independents, this is Amir.

Hi! Uh, this is Judy from DUH.

Judy! I'm disappointed.

I've been in the office a full 11 minutes, almost 12.

You know, I didn't think I was gonna hear from ya.

Well, I, uh... I wanted to make sureyou had time to get your coffee

and your cruller before I called.

I see.

So, I listened to the demo.

Does it look like she's gettinggood news?

I can't tell.

Looks like she sat on a hornet's nest if you ask me.

Yes! Yeah! Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Woo-hoo!

Christ. This bozo.

Hi, Janey.

Judy.

Of course! How are you?

Long time no see, right?

Listen, I just talked to the promoter, if you can even call him that.

And he mentioned that you guys are headlining tonight.

Is that right?

I guess. If that's what he said.

Huh. Weird.

You know, from one artist to another, I have to say,

I think this lineup was made inhaste.

With a reckless inattentionto the fans who came out to seeus.

You know, Bernardsville is kind of a home away from home for us.

And from what I understand,your band is greener than sugarsnaps.

I see.

You do?

I'm delighted to hear.

We'll just go and explain that there was a misunderstanding

and get the set times switched.

Oh no. There's been no misunderstanding.

What was that?

We are closing out the show.

Your band is opening for our band.

Poor, poor little Jack.

Beanstalk or not, you don't wanna mess with this giant.

Oh yeah? Or what?

Hands off the vehicle, hombre.

You're lucky I'm a pacifist.

Boys!

- What a cunt. - What a cunt.

Fuck!

Uh, hi.

Um, uh, I'm Max.

Uh, yeah. That's right.

Max is my name and, uh, guitar is my game.

- Uh, our band is called band DUH...

And uhh...and uhh...and uhh...and uhh

Abort! Abort!

One, two, three, four. One, two!

♪ I'm on a roll♪

♪ Got shit under control♪

♪ I'm sweating bulletsand I'm lying through my teeth ♪

♪ And what you see is no concern to me♪

♪ I know I'll never be shit compared to you ♪

♪ And it's not for lack of trying♪

♪ And I know that I've been here before ♪

♪ What else can I say?♪

♪ But♪

♪ Right♪

♪ Now♪

♪ I'm♪

♪ Stuck in a rut♪

♪ Stuff asphalt in the cut♪

♪ A litmus testfor the strength of my resolve ♪

♪ If I come back♪

♪ Walking panic attack♪

♪ It's not how you bounce back♪

♪ It's how well you fall♪

♪ And I'm sick and tired of trying♪

♪ And I know that I'll be back again♪

♪ The meaning of life is dying♪

♪ Some wise old words I've heard before♪

♪ Fuck it all to shit, I don't care anymore ♪

♪ I'm too high to cry too rare to care♪

♪ I'm too high to cry too rare to care♪

♪ I'm too high to cry too rare to care♪

♪ I'm too high to cry too rare to care♪

♪ I♪

♪ Give♪

♪ Up♪

Thank you, ma'am.

Nice dance moves earlier.

Yeah.I probably should have stretchedbeforehand.

Oof!

Well, drink up, grandpa.

Look, um, I know you and I haven't exactly seen eye to eye so far this tour.

And, um, I still haven't exactlycome to terms with the fact that you are a monster--

Well I prefer the term, "thing."

Thing, that eats people.

But, I also know that you're nota bad guy.

And I'm happy you're here.

Sometimes.

Well comin' from you, that is a glowing endorsement.

For as long as I can remember, this is all I have ever wanted to do.

And tonight felt like the firsttime that I was actually doing it.

So, thank you.

My pleasure.

Oh, well, almost showtime, huh?

I should probably get to it.

Do you wanna come inside,make sure everything's on the upand up?

Nah. I trust you.

Night, Peck.

Night.

Peck! We gotta move, let's go!

What could be taking him so long?

Pecker! Let's go!

Why are you wearing our shirt?

Okay, A, it's the only thing clean I have.

And, two, our band is good.

God, I am so hungover.

Oh, Max, give me your hand.

Why?

Max, hand.

What is this?

Memorize it word for word.

Is this really necessary?

Yes.

Absolutely.

Oh, there he is. Finally.

Sorry to keep y'all waitin'.

So, where we headed, huh?

Coffee!

♪ Your words cut like suicide razor blades ♪

♪ Your heart as black as the crow in the midnight sky ♪

♪ You destroyed his nest and set him free ♪

♪ But did you know? That crow was me♪

♪ Die!♪

♪ Become emptiness♪

♪ Fly!♪

♪ Escape nothingness♪

♪ Greed♪

♪ Power♪

♪ Hatred♪

♪ Fear♪

♪ Bullets♪

♪ War♪

♪ Bondage♪

♪ Death!♪

Good luck out there, okay?

Whoops!

Thanks. We're DUH.

If anyone has a place for us tocrash tonight, that'd be most excellent.

We got some demos and t-shirts for sale.

This is our last song and it goes out to our buddy Peck.

One, two, three, four!

♪ Mommy always called me ugly♪

♪ And daddy dropped mefrom three stories on my head ♪

♪ I wanna die♪

♪ I wanna die♪

♪ Young♪

So how was my stage banter? Did I bring it?

It was adequate with a capital A.

I second that. Very proud, Maxwell.

Thanks.

Hey, you guys were so good.

Do you have any music for sale?

Max, demo the girl.

Thanks. Are you guys still looking for a place to crash tonight?

We are indeed.

Well if you'd like, you can comewith meto my grandma's. We've got tonsof room.

Really? You're sure she wouldn'tmind?

Yeah, she's totally cool with it.

We already have another band staying the night.

Ah, rad! Who's the other band?

Turf war.

A roof's a roof, y'all.

Ugh. He even walks like a dickhead.

I guess we can officially call each other tour mates now.

Here's the situation.

I talked to the girl, and therearetwo rooms in this house. One foreach band.

Now, I figured given the fact that y'all are last minute additions,

we'll take the larger room.

I mean, that and the fact that we're four men and just need more space.

You think I'm being sexist or somethin'? I mean, this is just biology here.

More body mass and all that. You guys understand, right?

Glad we cleared that up.

Maybe we just leave and drive through the night.

Ah, nonsense. You guys need a good night's sleep before the big show.

We can make this work.

Yeah, I mean, it is getting late.

Okay.

Peck, you sleep in here. The three of us, we'll stay in the living room.

Are you sure?

Yeah. You snore like a son of abitch so don't think this is like a selfless gesture.

I'll take it.

We just need to getthe sleeping bags from the van.

Well, here.

You get what you need from the van and, uh, I'll hit the hay.

I guess I'l go get all of our shit.

Chase Nutley and here are tonight's top stories.

Murderous mayhem at the Moon Motel. How did a cozy cabin off the highway

become a sick carnival of carnage early Saturday morning?

Bedtime.

On the scene is our own Chip Hardaway with the latest.

Where should we set all of thisup?

Thanks, Steve.

Well it was a grizzly scene as the police were called over here to the Moon Motel on RT 9

where officers discovered the dead and half-eaten bodies of two motel employees.

The officers were offering no information on leads at this time

but they have confirmed the identities of the two victims.

They are Mark Spivey, age 27--

Where's Max?

Hey, have you guys seen--

Hello there.

Damn. It looks like you guys won't be making the show tomorrow night.

But, fear not, we'll just make--

Hello.

Hey, it's past midnight and my grandma has work really early in the morning.

You guys really need to keep itdown or she's gonna be pissed.

Of course. Of course. Namaste.

Where was I?

Oh, the show.

Fear not, we'll just make sure to stop by the venue

in case The Queef Queensneed a last minute replacement.

Now all we have to do is round up yourwhite trash roadie and we'll beon our way.

Hoo, so, uh,that was pretty wild back there,huh?

Oh! What the fuck?!

Does anybody have any music they wanna listen to?

Hey, Max, you wanna choose a station?

All right, listen, I am really sorry that you're all covered in my dookie

but I came to your rescue, didn't I?

How were you able to do that when you sedated yourself?

Just some kind of sixth sense shit, I guess?

Like when a mother knows that her kids is hurt.

Wait!

Esteban Mendoza?

Okay, wait. Ju-- just let--

What the fuck?

Peck, is this your van?

I can't believe I was so stupid.

Now hold your horses.

So this isn't your van.

What have you been injecting yourself with?

Water.

So you've been hydrating yourself every night?

I'm gonna be sick.

Hey, hey now.

How many people have you killedsince we started this tour?

Don't lie to us!

Well, counting the four back there?

Just let them go.

No, no can do. I mean, not at the moment at least.

We'll play our show tonight andthen we'll decide our next move.

No. No, we are not playing tonight.

What?!

Come on.

No, I second that.

I mean you told me yourself, this is your dream finally realized.

Now if you don't follow throughwith it you're gonna regret it.

Hey, you guys are 45 minutes late to soundcheck.

I know. I'm sorry.

You smell like shit. Is that shit?

No. Um, the van broke down in mud, maybe it's manure. I don't.

I don't know.

How punk.

Listen, if you wanna bring yourvan around, we have some guys who can help you load in--

No. Um, we, uh, got it ourselves, actually.

Okay, then just get on stage.We have a sound guy waiting foryou.

Hey. You're in DUH, right?

Uh, yeah. Hi, Judy.

Right on. Jenn Jennings.

Yes. Of course you are. I, I know.

I, uh, just listened to your demo the other day. Your band is great.

That's, uh, cool. That means a lot.

Uh, I, we thank you.

Um, we all really love you guys, girls, women.

Your band, we, uh, love also.

Nervous?

Uh, very. Very nervous.

Do I look it?

Uh, a bit but you know, nerves are good.

So what's the plan for the nextrelease?

Uh, well, we just got back fromtour and things are kinda up in the air at the moment.

So, I don't know actually.

Totally.

Hey, if you're into it, we should get together next week and talk.

My partner and I, we own a labeland I think your stuff if right up our alley.

Wow, really?

Yeah.

I, uh, we would really appreciate that.

I'll, uh, be right back.

Could you just, uh, please, just excuse me? Okay.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Oh, I just wanted to soak it in,be a part of the moment, you know?

Where's the girl and her grandmother?

Don't worry. I threw a couple of blankets over them.

I'm just gonna be here a few minutes. No harm.

It's over, Peck. You're out of the band.

Excuse me?

I don't think you have the authority to make that decision.

Okay, band vote. Who wants Peckout of the band? Raise 'em.

After our set you're gonna let them goand drive off, and if you don't,

I'm gonna call the cops and tell them everything.

Well, Judy, you might wanna rethink your ultimatum.

And y'all might wanna rethink your vote, seeing that it's so close to midnight and all.

Yo, DUH, you're up!

Knock 'em dead, y'all.

Miss, the white van in the parking lot, is that yours?

Miss? The white Dodge van, is that yours?

There was an audible gasp in the courtroom when Judge Morris Roland declared a mistrial

in the multiple homicide case involving three members of NJ rock band DUH.

After nearly two full days of deliberation,

twelve jurors returned to the court room split on whether to find the accused:

27 year-old Judith Campbell

25 year-old Maxwell Jenkins

and 24 year-old Melissa Moxie

guilty of murdering four men on the night of August 15th.

Many attribute the surprise outcome to Katrina McNeill

and her grandmother, Ruth Dietrich, who testified in court last Friday

that an older, yet-to-be-identified man,

was responsible for the deaths of four men in Dietrich's cottage last August.

The band, who have long maintained that they were taken hostage

and unable to escape both during and after the murders,

left the courtroom earlier today,free for the first time in sevenmonths.

There are currently no plans for a retrial.

♪ Deflated wasted lungs♪

♪ Irradiated blood♪

♪ I've reassembled my head♪

♪ My brain is still a chemical spill♪

♪ My brain is still a chemical spill♪

♪ Deflated wasted love♪

♪ Emaciated dove♪

♪ I've reassembled my head♪

♪ My brain is still a chemical spill♪

♪ My brain is still a chemical spill♪

♪ My little love I am not around

♪ I've taken lost and I don't want to be found ♪

♪ There's a lot that is wrong in this world and me ♪

♪ There's a hole in my chest where my heart used to be ♪

♪ There's a hole in my chest where my heart should be ♪

♪ There's a hole in my chest where my heart should be ♪