Original subtitles

Previously on The Real L Word...

We're young. We promised to have fun everyday.

Everytime we're in a group setting,

if I don't react the way that you expect me to,

- you get upset... - Stop fighting please, 'cause I'm done.

You, it was just too much, too fast.

My mother is really the first one,

I've told about the breakup with Chanel.

And it's like, the more I talk about it, the more I miss her.

I miss her now.

I don't know what your deal is.

[Crying] I just don't care.

I don't want to live anymore.

But I need you to help me.

I swear to God, I will help you.

We gotta figure out what we're doin' next, right?

I don't know. I mean, I feel like...

think about it.

Every story that we've heard,

not one of them says

it happened on the first couple of times.

Like seven times or more.

We can't help you with the sperm.

We're not gonna lie.

We've been working on a little project.

This is a handsome man.

Make a wish. Yeah! Yay!

Veins and all!

This is like the nicest, sickest thing

anybody has ever done.

So guys, uh, Frannie's, um, gonna come out to her mom,

- I think. - She's coming to town?

What are you gonna say to her?

Yeah, what are you gonna say to her?

I don't know.

Growing up, being Japanese, no one's really open about

being gay.

Oh, my God. I can't believe you're here.

Like, despite the many ups and downs,

it doesn't take a lot of apologizing on your part

to make it okay on mine.

Sometimes you put up a big stink.

Well, because sometimes you're a big asshole.

I've heard through the grapevine

you've been talking shit about me; I'm not gonna lie.

- About you? - Do I think that you meant

the things you might have said?

No. Do I think maybe you were like, ooh,

I wish I didn't say some things? Yeah.

Oh, those are the little pieces?

It's so cute!

I'm really excited, because at this point,

we are in a place to show the jewelry line.

So that's where somebody like you would come in

and really be able to help us.

Yay! [Chuckles]

I cannot date you while you drink.

I can't do it...

and get sober.

I'm sorry to say it to you, Romi,

but you're gonna have regrets.

Am I?

You are.

[Love darling's hazy]

♪ it was just the other night ♪

♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪

♪ I don't wanna start a fight ♪

♪ I don't wanna think about it ♪

♪ every time I take a step left, right ♪

♪ yeah, I think I'm gonna sleep real good tonight ♪

♪ just think about it ♪

♪ you'll find a way ♪

♪ to make me crazy, hazy ♪

♪ so hypnotized ♪

♪ think of the blue skies, new eyes ♪

♪ and I'll never roam again ♪

♪ and I'm back in love again ♪

♪ find my way back home again ♪

synced and corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com

[indie rock music]

♪ every day I live in the sunshine ♪

♪ lonely days went away ♪

♪ and I've got to keep my head up out the clouds ♪

♪ hey hey hey hey hey ♪

♪ I want the road less travelled ♪

Whit and me hooking up? I don't know right now.

Something resurfaced. Something came back.

Sometimes whenever you've had that with somebody,

there can be attraction, and due to circumstances,

or where each person's at,

it's comfortable. It's safe.

♪ and I've got to keep my head up out the clouds ♪

I love Whitney.

But I've definitely worked too hard

to get where I am right now to lose that

for anyone, especially Whit.

♪ hey, every day I live in the sunshine ♪

♪ every day ♪

♪ lonely days, they went away ♪

Right now...

me and my business partner, Vanessa,

have to put together a shoot for Hija

to present to Udi,

the chief designer of love and pride jewelry.

Would this be comfortable for you, do you think?

- Yeah. - Here? Okay, great.

Here we go. Beautiful.

Can I have you put your left arm up on the fireplace?

Okay, I got that.

Beautiful. Gorgeous.

We're doing the photo shoot because

we need to have a look book for our line.

There has to be a look of who the girl is

and how you wear the jewelry.

After all the work we've done,

and after all the time we've put into it,

like, we just really hope that Udi wants to sell it

through his website.

That would be a dream come true.

Show me your chin. Yeah.

Do you feel like you got something there?

- Definitely. Definitely. - Okay.

It's nerve -racking because it is my own.

There's more love, there's more passion,

and there's definitely going to be more heartache

that comes to it too if things don't work out.

Do you want to shoot this one here or no?

We're gonna get all the images together

and me and Vanessa need to present

the line to Udi and fingers crossed that he likes it.

Gorgeous. Beautiful.

♪ oh, you get around ♪

♪ you laugh it off, off, off, off, off, off ♪

♪ till I let you down ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

Hooking up with Romi was a bad idea.

I learned from it and now I'm moving on.

Romi and Kelsey just broke up, you know?

She's got a lot going on.

I have to work my own shit out and, like, this...

it just wasn't right.

But Romi and I will always be friends.

Hello? Can you hear me?

Yeah, I just landed.

You landed? Okay.

I am on my way there.

Okay.

Jaq is coming to town

to help with the pants and pumps throw-down.

I'm throwing a lesbian field day.

It's basically pitting the more butch lesbians

against the more femmey lesbians.

Unfortunately, it's in two days

and I still have a shit-ton of work to do.

- Hi. - Hi.

How are you?

After all of the shit that's happened

with Romi, Rachel, Sara,

like, I really want to be drama-free.

And I feel like I'm at the place in my life

where I am ready for something with someone.

So what are we thinking tonight?

Okay, so we have to get props.

We have to get high-heel shoes

'cause there's a three-legged high-heel shoe race.

And then there's a tie station.

We have to get ties.

We have to make trophies...

one pants and one pumps trophy...

so we're gonna take a little hammer

and a little shoe and I'ma spray it gold...

- Cool. - And mount it on woodblock.

We're never gonna sleep.

It's gonna be good. Listen.

We... if anybody can do this, we can do this.

Yes.

♪ before I try ♪

I better get some good fucking pumps on my team.

♪ stop telling me White lies ♪

♪ do you think I'm a fool? ♪

♪ shame on you and shame on me twice ♪

♪ for trusting, trusting ♪

My mom's coming into town from Las Vegas.

I'm just feeling really nervous right now.

- Hi! - Hi!

[Speaking Japanese]

My mom's very picky, you know,

like a regular Asian mother.

So it always makes me a little on edge

when she comes into town, but this time,

I'm even more on edge because I want

to come out to her.

Nice day.

[Speaking Japanese]

[Sighs]

[Speaking Japanese]

Oh, okay.

[Speaking Japanese]

Mama, no. [Speaking Japanese]

My mother was a famous actress and singer in Japan in the '60s.

Um, my parents had me later in life.

My mom was 39 and my dad was 42 when they had me

and I'm an only child.

Japanese culture is very different from American culture,

especially parent and child relationships.

With my American friends, it's more like of a friendship,

but with Japanese, it's more domineering.

[Speaking Japanese]

Yeah.

[Both speaking Japanese]

Ah, no, no, no.

No. [Speaking Japanese]

Yeah.

[Speaking Japanese]

Yeah.

Important to be with good person.

[Speaking Japanese]

[Laughs] Yeah.

Drive .3 miles to destination on left.

Oh, mama.

When we were in that hotel room,

I was so stressed out.

My worst-case scenario is for her

to be disappointed in me.

I would be heartbroken.

Yeah.

Hi. What's up?

[Both speaking Japanese]

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, okay.

No, I can't.

I can't. I feel uncomfortable.

It wouldn't be so uncomfortable

if you just said it, I think, you know?

It is gonna be uncomfortable.

I feel like I'm gonna throw up now.

What the hell?

Eww.

It's just a lot harder than I thought it was gonna be.

Okay, I'm just gonna tell her right now.

Okay, bye. I'm gonna call you back.

Bye. I'm, like, so uncomfortable.

Bye. I just have to... okay, bye.

What am I doing?

I got to fucking bite the bullet.

No!

Yeah, one mojito, one tickled pink.

Can I just write it on a napkin?

♪ la-de-da-de-da ♪

I can't do this.

I feel bad at this point.

My poor mother, she doesn't even know what's going on.

♪ even though sometimes you don't know ♪

♪ who I am ♪

This is so ridiculous.

♪ I am you ♪

♪ everything you do ♪

♪ and I am you ♪

♪ la-de-da-de-da-da ♪

♪ la-de-da-de-da-da ♪

♪ la-da-da ♪

I'm thankful that I spoke to Whitney

at lunch the other day.

I felt, like, really alone,

and I'm happy that she was there for me this time.

- Hi, I'm Rachel. - Hi.

- I'm Dr. Lancaster. - Nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you.

I wasn't really sure what kind of help I needed,

and, you know, I think therapy is a good option,

and she's gonna help me pay for it.

So I know your friend called for you yesterday.

- Yeah. - What brought...

what's bringing you in today?

I feel very, like, um...

I don't know. Like, broken a little.

Can you describe that a little bit more?

Um, I guess, you know,

I just moved to Los Angeles from New York.

Um, there I work a lot, you know,

so it's a good distraction.

So moving here, you know, and not having that

- as a crutch... - Mm-hmm.

I've been turning to other things

that are more toxic, you know?

Do you mind telling me what those are?

Well, I mean, definitely since I've been out here

I've been drinking more, to points where

I don't remember things the next day, you know?

Um, I was, like, taking klonopin

and that's not who I am, so I don't want to be,

you know...

I wanted to come out here in a positive way.

Yeah, and as you said, something's off, right?

- So... - Right.

I have ha... always had problems,

like, talking about emotions, whatnot.

You know, I lost my father, like, ten years ago

very suddenly and then I had to move in with my grandparents

who just lost their son.

Their only son, yeah, and...

you know, at that time, my mom and me were not, like,

okay and...

[sobbing]

I also hate crying. [Chuckles]

- I don't blame you. - So I don't do it, you know?

Especially around my family, I never cry.

I don't want them to, you know, think I'm sad.

You try to pretend everything's okay all the time?

Oh, totally. Yeah.

My big thing is I was very close to my father,

but my mother and me never really...

she has a sharp tongue, you know?

Sometimes she just says things.

That's why I don't talk to her.

[Sobbing]

Sounds like you're in a really tough situation.

[Sniffles]

Then, you know, just being, you know,

gay, it's like, "great," you know?

Now there's that.

So is your mom pretty homophobic?

I mean, she's gotten better,

but, like, my dad used to go to PFLAG.

Like, he was very supportive, you know?

Like, "I love you no matter what."

He let my girlfriend move in in high school

'cause her parents kicked her out for being gay.

And then my mom would just walk by us and be like,

"oh, yeah, by the way, you're going to hell,"

and I'd be... and me and him would look at each other like...

I mean, you have a lot... I mean, you have no...

you not only lost your father,

who was your ally and your closest parent,

but you don't really have a mom.

Yes.

Through the drinking and the klonopin,

you've been running from this.

And I think with this kind of desire

to really get inside and find out what's going on...

You are going to reach a whole other level in your life.

That's what I want.

It almost feels good to, like, be able to... cry,

- 'cause I never do. - Good.

This is a step in the right direction.

This is a leap in the right direction for me.

I feel almost like a lot of pressure is out of my body.

My sister and me are ten years apart,

so they wanted her, you know?

♪ oh, my God ♪

♪ oh, look at what I've done ♪

♪ oh, my God ♪

♪ oh, look at what I've done ♪

♪ thought I had somebody ♪

♪ gonna be here ♪

That thing is humongous.

Lesbians have this tendency to, like, befriend guys

with huge penises because they really don't

ever have to be on that donkey.

Where we are right now is that we have one vial of sperm left

and we're gonna start the ovulation cycle again.

If we want to increase our chances to get pregnant,

it's probably not the best idea to inseminate at home.

Otherwise, I'd be totally down to use it.

It just needs to be not frightening to my wife.

It's so gross.

Ooh. [Laughter]

Cori, you can't be trusted.

You opened your mouth. Give it to me.

- Don't do it. - Give me my penis back.

I just... I just want to put it in your mouth.

No! Don't.

You don't know. Oh!

[Laughter]

Come here.

- Did I shoot you in the eye? - No!

Ah!

It's all over my face.

You've blown all over my face.

No! Oh! [Laughter]

Did you just dick-smack me?

That guy has the biggest dick ever.

It's super ridiculous.

What do you think?

Kacy, ser... we are not keeping it out here.

Why not?

I think that's good for a little perspective.

Isn't the cable guy coming tomorrow?

Uh, maybe.

[Saw whirring]

I don't know why I think that building all

these props for pants and pumps is a good idea

when you have, like, two days left.

We are feeling some pressure.

And by "we," I mean me.

But, you know, when things are tight like that,

doing it with a cute girl doesn't suck.

♪ do -do it ♪

I love it.

♪ do it, do it, do it ♪

If we work this well together making props,

could we work this well together in a relationship?

It's possible.

Last time I saw Jaq in San Francisco,

you know, it was nice, but I still had

a bunch of drama going on with Sara.

This time there is no drama,

so I'm curious to see how things go.

♪ ooh ♪

♪ I'm thinking of you, babe ♪

♪ I'm dreaming of the ways ♪

♪ that I could love you, babe ♪

♪ love you, baby ♪

♪ you ♪

♪ you are so sexy to me ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ did you like that? ♪

♪ baby ♪

♪ did you like that? ♪

♪ I know you did ♪

[rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ open my eyes ♪

♪ no, I'm not dreaming ♪

No, no. Maybe we could do lunch

or something sometime.

You can meet today?

All right, cool. Yeah, I could be...

I could be downtown in, like, 15.

Let's do that. All right, I'm on my way.

Over the last few weeks, I've had time

to step outside of myself a little bit more

and figure some things out.

And I think that's what I needed, you know?

To figure out what I want in my life.

Like, having my mother here and just

kind of chopping through the whole breakup with Chanel,

like, I'm realizing that I really miss her.

- Hey. - How you doing?

Good.

And I want her back.

Good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

- Hungry? - Um, yeah.

They got margaritas too.

Oh, is that your plan for today?

- It's happy hour. - Oh, okay.

Just want us to be happy.

I'm surprised to hear from Saj.

And I mean, the fact that she calls me

and she's just a little nonchalant,

like, kind of like, "hey, what's up? Uh... "

I could tell she's feeling me out,

but I'm curious to hear what she really has to say.

I miss you.

I've been thinking a lot just about

all the things that we went through

and a lot of 'em that I don't think

we necessarily had to, you know?

But we're, like, arguing over, like, how to show affection.

And so for me, like, I personally just want...

like, I wanted to apologize for...

for all those moments, you know?

The arguments were pretty bad and, like,

so many things were said.

But while it was unnecessary, like,

we were really just trying to understand each other.

We're two very different people, you know?

Like, I'm on ten all the time.

[Laughter]

I'm crazy-excited.

I'm in everybody's business.

I'm all over the place.

But I can learn to slow down.

I realize that more than anything.

One thing I got from you that I don't feel

like I get in a lot of places was love.

And it's not just that I want love.

Like, I want... I want to give you that as well.

Like, I want to love you the way you've always loved me.

But also with love, you got to trust.

You know?

So if I say that I love you,

but I do want personal time or if I don't want

to do PDA or whatever, it's not that

I have something against you.

I need you to trust me that it's just something

I'm dealing with for myself, so...

[Laughter]

I really want to play hard to get,

but I've never been good at it, so...

I'm glad you're not good at it.

Sajdah's the first woman that I've been

in a relationship with who, like...

like, she really cares.

And I'm willing to take the risk with her emotionally,

um, because I just feel she's worth it

and we've had, like, so many great times.

So I... I still believe that we can have a whole lot more.

So this means we're trying it again?

Would you be my girlfriend all over again?

No, I'm playing. Yes, I will.

- You will? - Yeah.

I love you. I love you too.

So, like, when Chanel and I first started,

we both knew we wanted this ideal relationship,

so we just ran into it.

But we never took the time and considered each other

and what that person can actually contribute

to the relationship and helping it form that ideal.

And now, like, with this new set of agreements,

we're able to just pace ourselves

and really understand one another

and allow that relationship to build on its own,

rather than us forcing it to exist.

♪ I can't take you anywhere ♪

♪ all the people do is stare ♪

♪ because we are ♪

♪ so beautiful ♪

♪ better than a magazine ♪

♪ you're the face out of a dream ♪

♪ yes, you're... ♪

- Hi. - How are you?

Good. How are you?

We're in the market for some lilies.

Okay.

They symbolize, like, fertility, right?

And birth and...

She's looking at us crazy. We're crazy.

- Okay. - We're doing...

we're having a creepy, crazy ceremony,

because we're trying to get pregnant.

And so it didn't work the first time,

so now we're just gonna try to take lilies,

because we Googled it and they said

they're symbolizing fertility.

Yes.

The human sacrifice didn't work,

so now we're gonna try flowers.

You're not supposed to tell people that.

[Laughter]

We tried everything the normal way,

so we were like, "okay, it's time to get a little weird."

And I came up with this idea for this ceremony.

Some sort of philosophical, transformative energy...

like, you know, transcendental...

whatever you want to call it, we were gonna do that.

So are you just gonna sit us all in a circle

- and you're going to... - Yeah.

- Tell us how it is? - Yeah.

Okay.

I'm gonna quarterback this shit, okay?

I slipped you the tongue.

I know you did.

Let me kiss you like you kiss me.

- Come here. - I never do that.

Come here. Come here.

Mmm, mmm, ungh!

I don't really do that.

It might feel like that to you, but I don't.

I'm an outstan... ahh!

[Laughter]

Thank you.

Aww! Bye!

♪ oh, yeah ♪

♪ don't look, look down ♪

♪ the sky beneath is your ground ♪

♪ don't hesitate ♪

♪ we'll never know if we wait ♪

♪ la la la la ♪

Oh, nice.

- Nice, huh? - Wow!

Yeah.

Oh, nice.

I love this.

I know.

Hmm. Mmm.

Good smell.

Good.

Yesterday, I felt like I was

gonna have a panic attack in that hotel room.

I just needed to, you know, get out.

[Both speaking Japanese]

- Rosemary. - Mmm.

Oh, Rosemary, yeah.

I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

You know, my mom's leaving tomorrow,

so I'm really running out of time

and I really don't want her to leave

without me getting this out on the table.

I'm not gonna chicken out this time.

Mmm, mama.

Mama.

Mmm.

[Both speaking Japanese]

Okay.

[Groans]

Yeah.

I don't want you to be embarrassed or,

like, disappointed in me.

[Speaking Japanese]

Like, you know?

No, I not...

I not shame.

[Speaking Japanese]

Yeah, of course!

Of course.

I just don't want you to think

I'm hen, like, weird, or, like, disappointing.

I love, love so much, you.

I love so much.

[Speaking Japanese]

Bad, you know?

"Oh, Francine good.

"But, oh, she good job and good girl, you know?

She everything good."

Then you happy.

Her reaction was better than I thought it would be, actually.

You know, I don't... I don't know if she was just

in initial shock and it's gonna settle in later.

I love her and I'm really kind of shocked how well she took it.

[Speaking Japanese]

But, you know...

that girl really, really bad.

- She was controlling. - Yeah, she controlled you...

but she was my girlfriend, you know?

Yeah, but she control you.

Did you know?

I... yeah, about I know.

[Both speaking Japanese]

You know?

You know life will pull us... [speaking Japanese]

Down it pull us... I know.

[Speaking Japanese]

But I don't know daddy. [Chuckles]

No, he'll be fine.

I was more nervous about you.

Daddy sometime don't know nothing to...

- you know? - Daddy's so nice.

What about me?

You're scary. [Laughs]

Only scare?

No, I love, love so much, you.

♪ I can lose my strength ♪

♪ and my whole world may unfold ♪

♪ but I'm confident ♪

♪ with just your hand to hold ♪

♪ with just your hand to hold ♪

♪ move on back ♪

♪ I feel like I've been left alone ♪

♪ 'cause I know that you will never ♪

♪ let me go ♪

This is gorgeous.

We invited all of our friends

just to basically kind of have everybody focus

their energy on us...

so that wherever our baby was up in heaven,

it could see us and know where to come.

So thank you very much for coming out here today.

I know it's cold and I know...

these are the future aunts and uncles of our children.

You know, when it takes a village,

this is the big crazy kind of gay-straight mixed village

that, you know, our kid's gonna be raised in.

So why not?

So Cori's passing out lilies.

Everybody take a lily.

Lily is a symbol of fertility

in certain cultures.

And we're standing by the ocean,

because we did some research and we realized

this is a nice way to kind of get everything

in tune with nature.

I'm gonna ask you guys to give me,

I don't know, 30 seconds and just focus

as hard as you can on getting a soul

that's out there somewhere... whatever you believe in...

into Cori's uterus.

[Laughter]

We love you guys.

Thank you for putting up with this.

And if it doesn't work,

we're gonna fucking do it again.

Whoo! Whoo!

[Cheering]

Everybody get 'em all in here.

Huddle up, everybody.

- Awesome. - We'll stay warmer that way.

Bring it in! Bring it in!

I want our energy and our focus

and our thought to be on this space,

because this is the space that's gonna be filled by our baby.

I know it's weird, but do it.

So from wherever it is, I want them to see this and go,

"I belong to these people."

So this focus starts... right now.

Please, please, please, please, please

grab a cute, smart one and send it on the way down.

Tom and Nikki, did you guys want to go first?

- Sure. - Okay.

Thanks, Uncle Eric.

The ceremony was beautiful.

I was worried it was gonna be a little cuckoo.

Like, I thought we were gonna be the crazy fucking lesbians.

But, I mean, why not put that positive energy out there?

I felt the love and the support.

And our child's gonna be very lucky

to have all those aunts and uncles

that love him already.

[Laughter]

For you! Oh!

[Laughs]

Yes!

Baby...

wherever you are...

we're waiting for you.

And we're gonna love you so much.

[Chuckles]

And so are all these people.

So just come find us.

So this one's for the baby.

[Grunts]

Okay, this one's for us.

There is a very small chance

or a very good chance... I don't know...

that we could not have a baby

and it's just gonna be her and I.

Baby or no baby, I love you.

I love you too.

And I bought a single red rose

to symbolize that this is an added bonus.

We are already a family.

[Grunts]

[Cheers and applause] * days like this *

Come on!

All right!

♪ you look up at the sky above you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ on days like this ♪

♪ you think about the ones that love you ♪

♪ ♪

I'm gonna miss you.

Thank you for coming out here.

No matter what might happen, I love you a lot.

- And thank you. - I love you too.

You know, Vivian came out here and I really just wanted

it to be us trying to reconnect.

And I think that, you know, there's a chance

of her wanting to give it a go again.

I'm happy you're here.

Now you know that.

I came to L.A. to see Claire

and to help her with her photo shoot,

but it just didn't work out so well.

She invited Whitney, Romi, and Kelsey,

but after the Haute party thing went down,

we didn't get any responses from anyone.

Do you think I'm having a lot of fun out here?

It's different.

But you and I are, like, you know,

at an understanding place?

Yeah. I would say that.

I don't think you would have come here

if you didn't think that that was something

that you knew I was thinking about.

Wha... wha... what?

If, like... if, like... you know what I mean?

- Like, you know? - What?

The whole, like... go...

having a go at this again.

How do you genuinely feel?

Why don't we just get this out of the way?

You... I... you know, I'm very realistic.

Realistically, even if I wanted to do this,

whatever, long-distance thing, that would never work out.

You don't think I can do long distance?

You can't.

I'm very well aware of the way you function,

the way you work.

You and your Leo-ness about doing whatever the...

whatever you want, whenever you want to,

and however you like to do it,

that doesn't work either.

I know, but, you know...

I've done it before. It is not fun.

And I promised myself that I would never do it again,

and I won't.

I think Claire's definitely having a really hard time

with adjusting, with friends, with life.

But she has to figure her own stuff out.

Whatever else there is that she wanted me

to be back in her life as her girlfriend,

but I'm definitely not leaving here as her girlfriend.

- Don't tell me if you hook up. - Okay.

Unless it means something, do not tell me.

- Are you gonna tell me? - No!

[You make it worse by Stacy clark]

♪ ♪

♪ you make it worse ♪

♪ oh, ho-oh ♪

♪ you make it worse ♪

[pulsing dance music]

♪ ♪

♪ 10,000 times I called... ♪

Things are actually coming together for Pants and Pumps,

so Jaq and I headed out to here lounge

to have a little extra time together.

♪ sexin' on the dance floor ♪

[cheering] * she caught me slippin' *

♪ and I ain't even drinkin' tonight ♪

♪ I'm feelin' dizzy ♪

♪ and I ain't even tipsy ♪

♪ I've been thinkin' 'bout you, baby, baby ♪

♪ all night long ♪

♪ singin' one, two, three, four ♪

♪ sexin' on the dance floor ♪

♪ I don't know what your daddy would do, girl ♪

♪ the way you work it, babe ♪

♪ makes me want to misbehave ♪

I'm having a great time with Jaq,

and then randomly out of the blue,

surprise! Sara's there with Erica,

the girl that she hooked up with

when we broke up,

and is now seeing, dating.

- Hi, baby, how are you? - I'm good.

I thought I'd come up and say hi, you know?

No weirdness.

I'm not weird at all.

- I'm not, either. - Good.

- You're not? - No.

You're normal?

Yes.

You know, seeing the person that you loved out,

like, it's hard.

I mean, it definitely makes it

more challenging to move on, you know?

Like, nobody gets under my skin the way Sara does.

♪ oh-oh oh-oh ♪

♪ you're the girl I've been lookin' for ♪

♪ oh-oh oh-oh ♪

♪ caught sexin' on the dance floor ♪

♪ oh-oh oh-oh ♪

♪ you're the girl I've been lookin' for ♪

♪ all night ♪

♪ one, two, three, four ♪

♪ sexin' on the dance floor ♪

♪ I don't know what your daddy would do, girl ♪

♪ the way you work it, babe ♪

♪ makes me want to misbehave ♪

Seeing her fucked up and all over Erica,

it's sad.

I'm thinking there's not a lot of substance

going on between the two of them.

♪ oh-oh oh oh, you're the girl I been lookin' for ♪

♪ all night ♪

♪ gettin' hot hot, sexin' on the dance floor ♪

♪ gettin' hot hot, sexin' on the dance floor ♪

[subdued rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ I'm alone, I'm alone ♪

♪ and I know that it feels ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'm alone, I'm alone ♪ good job.

♪ and I know that it feels ♪ my mom flew back to Las Vegas,

So now I feel good.

I feel a sense of relief.

Are we back in?

♪ all righ-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-ight ♪

Too much spray paint.

It's the day of Pants and Pumps,

and I'm really excited, but I'm really nervous.

I've put in a lot of work,

and I just want it to pay off.

And we're off in a cloud of dust.

♪ the puzzles are falling all into a place ♪

Are you ready to get your ass beat today?

Somebody's gettin' their ass beat.

♪ it's fitting together ♪

♪ a little confused ♪

♪ a picture of me paints a picture of you ♪

I can't teach you how to tie a tie.

You have to.

Teach me how to put on fake eyelashes.

I don't even know how to put on fake eyelashes.

Then why would I teach you how to tie a tie?

Do you want to get in my pants?

Do you want some of this?

I already had it this morning.

[Laughing] Shut up!

♪ ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

♪ ohh-ohh-ohh ♪

I dig pants versus pumps. It's hot.

I think the whole idea is pretty dope.

I don't know, I'm curious to see who's actually pants

and who's pumps. [Laughs]

♪ that you can, that I can ♪

♪ start clearing the haze ♪

It's so hot out, Mila.

You didn't tell me it was, like, hot.

So today is pants versus pumps.

Uh, I'm excited. It's gonna be fun.

I'm gonna try to make friends

despite all the shit that I said.

Um, I want to get along.

I don't... I don't want these girls to hate me,

you know, but my friend Mila is coming.

We're gonna go over there together

in case I need somebody, you know, that's on my side.

♪ ohh -ohh ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ go! ♪

♪ ♪

♪ do ya know ♪

We... we made... so good.

Is it... so good.

And all that building we did?

Damn, girl.

It's a beautiful day in Los Angeles.

We've rented an amazing house,

and we are gonna come together

and raise money for a great cause.

What team are you on?

- What do you think I'm on? - Pumps?

Fucking pants!

- What? - Saj. You know.

Chanel?

Nice to meet you, Chanel.

Are we ready? [Laughs]

What?

Chanel was still a little reluctant

about being with the girls,

and that's fine.

I learned to be considerate.

Considerate of her emotions,

letting go any expectations I had of her,

and just being there to be her partner.

- Hey! - Hi!

- Thanks for coming. - What's up?

Yeah.

When I see Francine, it's like,

I know you so well.

I know you, like, inside and out.

I know, like, every crevice of your body.

It's just awkward.

I don't want to talk to her,

but then I do want to talk to her,

and I loved her for so long,

and it's, like, to now...

to not even be like, "hey, how's it goin'?"

Like, it's just sad.

Extra small.

What, do you want to plan it?

Yeah, honey.

Ah, you got the shirt on! Ha ha.

I don't know what I am.

Look like Lady Gaga here. It's cool.

Look at the bottom.

I'm definitely not gonna be the one

to initiate contact with Claire,

because I believe she said some really nasty things.

Vodka and, like, lemonade.

Yeah. Yeah. Excuse me.

They totally assume that...

I feel like I'm in a better place,

and Khristianne treats me so nice.

- Nothing. - Mm.

Francine has a girlfriend.

Kind of, you know, it caught me off guard.

It's a little bit of a shock.

She's not necessarily my total type.

You know... [laughs]

I'm, like, a little bit more selective.

Like, it's mind-boggling.

- Hello, everybody. - Whoo!

And welcome to the first annual

Pants and Pumps throw-down.

[Cheering] Thank you for coming.

I'm glad you came,

and we're gonna have fun today and compete.

And we're also doing this for charity.

We are doing this for falling whistles.

This is, like, an important cause.

You can buy a whistle, or you could donate.

That would be great, too,

but we're gonna have fun today.

All: Pump, pump, pump it up!

All: Pumps, take your pants off!

Ahh!

[Laughing] "Pumps, take your pants off."

We will! We will!

All right, everybody assume your stations.

The first event of the Pants and Pumps throw-down

is the role-reversal relay.

[Hip-hop music]

On your mark,

get set,

and... [blows whistle]

Go! Go!

Go go go go go!

♪ get your hands in the air ♪

Go go go go go go!

[Shouting]

♪ sex ♪ aah!

♪ put your hands in the air, man ♪

I'd like to be right there.

Hey, baby, want to change?

Beautiful.

[Shouting and chatter] We gotta go!

All right?

Come on, get the other one.

Here we go! Go!

Go, Romi!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Come on, go! Go!

- Go on! Go on! - What the fuck!

What?

You gotta clear it!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Go! Come on!

Aah!

Aah!

[Wild cheering]

♪ ♪

What makes you pumps?

Well, I just cut up my shirt into nothing.

I know.

I have a pink bathing suit on

with matching lipstick,

and I'd rather be laying out right now

than playing sports. [Laughs]

- Hey, okay, I... - What makes you pants?

What makes me pants is I have dirty baseball pants on.

Yes, I see.

And I would prefer to get tan

while being outside doing activities.

There's a chemistry between the two of us.

I think that we have a great dynamic,

and we could do a lot of amazing things together.

- Aah! - And when Whit

kind of calms it down a little bit,

those things would be more possible,

and I think that I'm in love with the person

that's underneath all of it right now.

I'm having a hard time with the fact

that Romi's not in my life anymore.

I think part of me is still in love with her.

Um, I'll always love her.

But, I mean, sometimes a girl just wants a drink.

[Rock music]

Hey!

Come on, Kacy!

Stay away from the money-maker.

Yeah.

Get set. [Whistle blows]

I'm gonna be the mother of your children!

No!

[All shouting]

Not fair! Unh!

Aah! Take it!

No!

[Cheering]

Who's your daddy, girl?

Uh!

♪ the mansion was... ♪

You know, year one, we did creamed corn lube wrestling.

Year two, we're making it a little sweeter.

We're gonna do some chocolate sauce wrestling.

Whit, in your hair?

Why does she always put shit in a pool

and want to wrestle? I just don't know.

- They're gonna be twins. - I just don't know.

Scarlett, amp yourself up,

'cause you have to win this.

Look, she's stretching, Scarlett.

Scarlett and Eli chocolate wrestling?

- Okay. - I love my wife,

but that is a fuckin' hot match.

[Rock music] Ready!

One!

Two! Three!

Whoo!

[All shouting]

Go, Scarlett!

Come on! [Cheering]

Good job! Stand up!

Show her who's boss!

Whoo!

Kick her ass!

[Cheering]

That's one, two, three!

[Cheering]

I'm so horny right now. [Laughs]

Maybe we could go to the car real quick.

You want to go to the car real quick?

Come on, Jaq, take her down.

- Whoo! - Yeah.

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

No!

You don't... shit.

♪ got me goin' crazy, dirty lovin' ♪

Wow.

♪ always skipping foreplay ♪

♪ dirty lovin' ♪ come on!

♪ got me goin' crazy ♪

- Very public. - * dirty lovin' *

Mmm!

♪ I think you're hands down out of your mind ♪

[both moaning] * you like it dirty *

♪ but you're so divine ♪ Uh-uh. Come on. Uh-uh.

Hey! Is somebody counting? [Others shouting]

Give up! Say Uncle!

[Kacy grunting]

Easy, easy! Ooh!

[Kacy sighs]

Whoo! * you like it dirty *

♪ but you're so divine ♪

Ah. You're so easy.

[Laughing] * crazy dirty lovin' *

♪ always skipping foreplay ♪

[whistling]

Yeah, have a little fun.

Loosen up.

You were really loose, lover.

We... hey!

[Laughter]

For the record, pumps, you put up a good fight,

but, uh, pants, you're victorious, so...

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you.

It was so much fun and so successful

that I have a big vision for this in the future.

I see Pants and Pumps throw-down

possibly spreading across the country

and becoming an annual thing,

where we can all come together

and raise money for a cause

and have a good Sunday fun day.

I need to hang out with you. When are we gonna hang out?

Do you not see my Twitter account on my Facebook?

You're always, like, emo, dude.

I know. [Fake crying] I know.

Yeah, what's wrong with you?

No, I'm on it now. I'm good.

- You promise? - Yeah.

You look good, you look good.

I feel good. I feel good.

You probably do. I want to...

L.A. has turned out to be, um, my saving grace.

It really gave me a moment to clear my mind

and realize I needed some help.

- I want to feel you and... - Okay.

- No, you're not. - Probably not.

I can already see Rachel being more at peace with herself.

She's got to clear her head out a little bit,

and I think that she's hopefully on the right path.

I'm so proud of her.

[Hip-hop music playing]

♪ hey ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ hey ♪

♪ now is the present ♪

♪ now is the present ♪

♪ so you gotta open it up ♪

♪ so you gotta open it up ♪

♪ and laugh, baby ♪

♪ don't worry 'bout the future ♪

♪ forget about the past ♪

♪ now is the present ♪

♪ so open it and laugh ♪

♪ don't worry 'bout the future ♪

♪ forget about the past ♪

Jaq is a great girl.

We are very, you know, compatible.

We have a lot of things in common,

but, you know, distance is hard to deal with.

She lives in San Francisco, and I live here.

And, you know, I have a hard enough time

being in a relationship when a girl lives down the street,

let alone when she lives 500 miles away.

So, you know, it's like...

♪ open up your eyes and take a peek ♪

I mean, I'm ready to work on things with people

if it's the right person.

I don't know if Jaq's the right person.

♪ to live the good life ♪

♪ don't worry 'bout the future ♪

♪ forget about the past ♪

♪ now is the present ♪

♪ so open it and laugh ♪

[high-pitched voice] Ah-ha-ha!

Ain't this some funny shit.

[Rock music]

♪ posing for the mirror ♪

♪ you don't have to change at all ♪

♪ you fake it for the photographs ♪

♪ your smile just says it all ♪

♪ hey, young girl, hey, young girl ♪

- We have it all? - Yeah, got it all.

Boards, samples. Rocks.

Pictures, line sheets?

Pictures, line...

Vanessa and I are meeting with Udi today,

and he is the chief designer and creative director

of love and pride,

which is this amazing online jewelry store.

To reach that many people

is an amazing opportunity.

431. This way.

I hope that this goes well,

and I hope that he likes it.

Exciting. I'm excited.

[Tapping on door]

Both: Hi!

Who is who?

- Finally. - Who is who?

- I'm Romi. - Hi, Romi.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

- This is Vanessa. - I'm Vanessa.

- Hi, Vanessa. Nice to meet you. - So nice to meet you.

I've heard so much about you. Come inside.

Thank you. We've heard so much about you.

Thank you.

My name is Udi Behr,

and we started Love and Pride six... six years ago.

Can we move some stuff to kind of set it up for you?

Of course, of course, of course.

- Awesome, okay. - Okay.

It's a jewelry destination for the gay community.

Tell me... let's walk through the... the pieces.

"Hija" is "daughter" in Spanish.

It's Hija por Vida, which is "daughter for life."

It's me and Vanessa.

We're the oldest, we're the daughters.

It's for our family.

Some of the pieces have to do

with being, like, your first piece.

Like when you're a little girl

and you get your first necklace.

Like a little best friend necklace.

And then we did the Hija earing, because...

I... uh, everyone was wearing one feathered-earing you know.

That's so pretty.

Love, love the fur,

with the rocks, like, just earthy.

Okay, is that synthetic fur or... or real fur?

It's... it's rabbit. It's rabbit.

Okay. We love the look, though.

Ahem.

This line has so much of my heart now.

If Udi doesn't want to go forward with this,

then we're done.

We have nowhere to go.

What is the price on this piece?

You have an idea?

We haven't sat down and really done prices yet.

Okay.

We really do want to specialize

in alternative accessories.

I like that also.

'Cause that's what I...

- I like to wear. - Great.

- This one, you wear over. - Oh, my God, this is awesome.

This is amazing.

So it's like if I just had, like, a little tank top on

and jeans, and I wanted my... my jewelry

- to be my full accessory... - Yeah.

All you need is this over.

I think you should develop a whole line of this.

- A whole line of these. - Okay.

I have to tell you that you are extremely talented,

you're extremely original,

and I'm really excited.

And I want to work with you,

and I want to see you fly and do great,

because you have beautiful ideas

- and beautiful talent. - Yes!

And I mean it sincerely.

I love you. Really, I, uh...

- Both: Thank you. - It was great.

- So what we need to do now... - Thank you.

[Laughs] Is to really start thinking business, you know?

Oh, Udi, thank you.

- Thank you, thank you. - You're welcome. Thank you.

We're so happy that you like it.

- Thank you for working so hard. - We're just like...

Really.

It's funny, 'cause as I was driving here this morning,

I was just thinking about how Kelsey isn't...

I'm not gonna call her and tell her

how it all went, which is... is weird,

but I have to be honest, it's a good feeling.

I've worked really, really hard to get myself going

and my jewelry line going

and get sober and really fix myself,

and there's just so many fine lines that are crossed

when you're battling with somebody else's addiction

and your own at the same time.

But now, it's a whole new journey of who I am,

and I think that this is the best time in my life.

And it's only gonna get better.

You, thank you for the hard work.

Ohh! Thank you for believing in us.

[Upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ there's still a place for you ♪

♪ if your heart's bruised and broken ♪

♪ there's still a... ♪

Here's the space station.

First to the launch. [Laughs]

Friends.

It's day 15, and there's no smiley face.

I don't know if I'm ovulating.

I should be ovulating,

um, so we're gonna see what's going on.

How are ya?

Good.

Well, let's take a look. Let's see what's going on.

All right. Whoa.

Just gonna pull this over and have a look here.

Here comes my old friend Mr. Probe.

[Laughs]

Yeah, so many comments I'm not gonna make.

[Laughs] Yeah.

I think I've already made them.

[Laughing]

[Machine beeps]

Where are we now?

Right now, I'm looking at the lining of the uterus.

It's actually the left side,

and there's no big follicle on that side.

So we'll check the other side.

Look at that.

- Wow. - That's a beautiful follicle.

- Wow. - It is?

[Laughs] Yes.

Okay, so we're doing it today?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

Whoa. Aah!

You have a perfect follicle today.

- Look, you're perfect. - Yay!

Um, it's gonna be a few minutes to me...

for me to get everything ready.

- Okay? - Okay.

[Both laughing]

Oh, my God!

Oh! Oh!

I'm so ready to be a mom.

I was born to be a mom.

I... I... Aah.

What's wrong with you?

I'm so sweaty. I'm so nervous.

Just lie back and let nature go...

[Squishing sounds]

Baby.

Faith is really important in this process.

Like, faith in our relationship,

faith in each other,

and so no matter how hard something is,

like, do you think having this kind of relationship just,

oh, one day you wake up,

and, like, you fall in love like this

and that's it?

Like, this is five years in the making

of, like, really hard work and honesty and building trust,

and, like, it doesn't happen overnight.

So, you know, it...

so it takes faith.

And we have to go off the faith

that you're going to get pregnant this time.

♪ you're the everything ♪

♪ I was missin' ♪

♪ the perfect part of me ♪

♪ that I really needed ♪

This is mommy talking.

♪ all I've known is new because ♪

[whispering] Wow.

♪ I found you ♪

Chanel shares with me

that she's about to go to Jamaica for a while.

It's a trip that I take every year,

and I definitely want to make this one

a very memorable experience,

so I want to share it.

Hello.

[Laughs] Hey.

Hell, yeah, I want to go to Jamaica.

You ain't packed yet?

Uh, n... almost.

I'm trying to squeeze everything into one suitcase.

[Sighs]

Are you packed? You've got everything?

Did you double-check?

Do you have your passport?

I got all I need. Three t-shirts, three shorts,

three underwear, three socks.

Oh, that reminds me,

I need to take my socks out for the flight.

[Laughs] Huh?

A girl has to do what a girl has to do.

I'd rather be over-packed than under-packed.

[Jamaican accent] What you won do?

I come to get da lady, she not ready.

She say, "me soon come.

Me soon come, dear."

[Laughing]

What we gonna do in Jamaica? Let's practice.

Practice what?

- Whatever we're gonna do there. - Stop.

Like pretend like you in your swimsuit.

No.

Pretend like you changin' into your swimsuit.

Pretend I already changed

and I'm wearing a dress over my swimsuit.

All right, well, let me see your swimsuit.

[Laughs] No!

Nasty. Stop.

Look, the sun is beaming like we're in Jamaica.

[Jamaican accent] Give me some lemonade.

I feel like this time around,

we're both letting go of all these little things

that made us feel insecure about the relationship.

And, ultimately, I think we realize

that we really, really love each other.

And I feel like that's all it takes.

We're here!

I think what makes it special

is that there's no inhibitions anymore.

This is a situation where we're both just

completely naked in front of each other,

like, we're full frontal.

Like, I'm here, you know?

And this is who I am.

I know. That sounded really sexual.

[Laughs]

I wasn't thinkin' sex at all.

[Laughs]

Not yet.

First class in the future.

Oh, okay.

I mean, Jaq is...

you know, she's great, and we're good friends.

We're, you know... but we don't have that chemistry.

Like, honestly, I've tried it with, you know, girls,

and, like, that fact is, like, they're not you.

I'm gonna cry.

Baby...

I'm sorry for everything.

I'm serious.

You just get under my soul.

You are making excuses,

because she has brainwashed you.

What am I mad about, Sara? Really?

She was like, "fuck Sara and her fake tits,"

and, "I can't stand that bitch,"

and then she sleeps with her.

If I can't learn from this red, screaming flag...

Are you still seeing her?

No.

Like, then I'm a fucking idiot.

You lied!

You are such a fucking liar!

Are you serious right now, Sara?

Somebody's shady as fuck and somebody's lying,

and the common denominator is always fuckin' Sara.

There will be nothing fucking between us

from this point on.

I love you.

I love you, too.

You're such an asshole.

You are.

♪ bah bah-bah ♪

♪ bah-bah ♪

♪ bah-bah bah-bah ♪

♪ I like the madness that we are ♪

♪ so hard to break ♪

♪ but like when they wreck new art ♪

♪ I'm part to blame ♪

♪ 'cause just like the light ♪

♪ baby, of dawn ♪

♪ I am drawn to you ♪

♪ for way too long ♪

♪ we tried to hide our lie ♪

♪ I'm not confused ♪

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