Original subtitles

RUPAUL: Previously, on Canada's Drag Race...

STACEY: You will be working in teams

to create an iconic fashion line

made entirely from recyclable materials.

JIMBO: What do you guys think if I make a crown with these?

TYNOMI: I'm not going out on the runway without a cohesive look.

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, wow.

JEFFREY: Rita Baga, con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner of this week's challenge.

RITA: Woo! JEFFREY: Team Paper.

STACEY: I would love to have seen a little bit more couture.

ILONA: Jimbo had this really cool idea to be our queen.

JEFFREY: Well, I like the idea for Jimbo as well.

BROOKE LYNN: It looks like I should hang you in my backyard

and beat you with a stick.

JEFFREY: Ilona Verley, shantay, you stay.

ILONA: [gasps] JEFFREY: Tynomi Banks...

Sashay away.

♪

♪

♪

♪

ILONA: [tearfully] Sisters for life.

ILONA: Another Toronto girl has left the building.

ILONA: "Love life, be you, Tynomi Banks."

ILONA: I'm so grateful that I'm still here,

but it's so hard when it's bittersweet.

It just sucks.

ILONA: I love you, Tynomi.

♪

RITA: I think Tynomi is one of the greatest queens

that we have here in Canada.

She has been an inspiration, and I will miss her deeply.

But I came here to win,

so I better work.

This game feels so real now.

It feels like this room is getting empty.

PRIYANKA: It's like every woman for themselves.

LEMON: Every week it feels like a family--

like a real family member is... dipping.

It's so sad. KIARA: Yeah.

PRIYANKA: Except for when Kyne left.

I didn't care. [laughter]

BOA: Oh, you bitch!

You're the devil, bitch! You're the devil.

I have this theory that Priyanka is possessed by the devil

because she's so perfect and she's here to take over

the world as a drag queen. PRIYANKA: [laughs]

RITA: So she's not perfect. Have you seen her ears?

[cheetah sound effect] [laughter]

PRIYANKA: [giggles]

PRIYANKA: This week I'm on my game.

I have to be.

Being voted "Best Local Drag Queen of Toronto,"

there's so much like riding on me.

And now that Tynomi is gone,

I think that I'm a top contender.

PRIYANKA: I'm very excited to win $100,000.

It's gonna be really cool.

LEMON: I'm very excited to watch you not win $100,000.

PRIYANKA: [laughs]

JIMBO: Someone has to go home next.

I'm kind of wondering who the next bitch is gonna be.

ILONA: Ah-ha-ow! This thing just paper cut me!

♪

RUPAUL: The winner of Canada's Drag Race receives

a year of hotel stays from Hilton,

and a cash prize of $100,000.

With Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, Stacey McKenzie,

and Brooke Lynn Hytes.

With tonight's extra special guest host, Mary Walsh.

♪

♪

PRIYANKA: Oop! LEMON: [laughs]

LEMON: Top 8, doll. JIMBO: Top 8.

ILONA: It's a new day in the workroom,

and I'm thankfully still here, but we're all kind of getting

at each other's throats a little bit at this point.

LEMON: Tensions were pretty high last week.

ILONA: Having to lip sync for my life,

like, when the song started,

I almost was just gonna walk off the stage.

I stood there when it was over looking around, being like,

"I'm fine if I leave tonight."

PRIYANKA: But that's so disrespectful.

SCARLETT: Stupid!

PRIYANKA: That's so disrespectful

to the competition, to the judges, to us.

PRIYANKA: We're gonna play many cards

during this competition.

Just don't play the victim card, okay?

ILONA: How was I playing the victim card, girl?

PRIYANKA: Because you're like, "Feel bad for me.

"I want to go home. It's too stressful.

"I don't want to send my friend home."

ILONA: I was feeling my own emotions,

which are mine to have, and how dare you tell me

how to feel, Priyanka?

PRIYANKA: Okay, sorry. I apologize.

ILONA: Yeah, thank you.

JIMBO: Well, thank you!

LEMON: I guess tensions are still high.

[tense laughter]

[siren] PRIYANKA: [screams]

RUPAUL: O Canada!

She done already done had herses.

Hello, my queens.

KIARA: Hi, little girl. RUPAUL: Wait.

What was I about to say?

Oh, it's all coming back to me now.

Near, far, wherever you are,

it's time to make a titanic impression,

and if we move in unison, then love can move mountains.

SCARLETT: Ahh! KIARA: Ah, Celina.

RUPAUL: And that's the way it is.

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Mama's homo! [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Is it bad luck to wear sunglasses indoors?

I wish I cared. [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: But sunglasses are the best protection

against harmful, shady gays.

[oohing from the queens] ILONA: Oh no!

BROOKE LYNN: Can we get some protection up in here?

Oh, pit crew!

[oohs & aahs from queens]

BROOKE LYNN: You guessed it, my lambs.

In the grand tradition of Paris, Ontario, is Burning...

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Today's mini challenge is all about reading.

BOA: Oh, my God!

BROOKE LYNN: Because reading is what?

QUEENS: Fundamental!

BROOKE LYNN: One at a time, you will come stand with me,

select a beautiful, stylish pair of Bailey Nelson sunglasses,

and dewy decimate these bitches to filth.

SCARLETT: Yes!

BROOKE LYNN: The library of Canada is officially open.

BOA: Oh, my God!

BROOKE LYNN: Okay, Priyanka, come on down.

Select a pair of sunglasses. PRIYANKA: Oh.

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, at your will.

PRIYANKA: Scarlett BoBo, your face is like your spot

in this competition--

filler. SCARLETT: Ahh!

[laughter]

PRIYANKA: Kiara, you are just finally understanding

how to speak English, but now,

when will you finally understand how to do drag?

Was that bad? LEMON: [laughs]

BROOKE LYNN: It wasn't your best work.

[laughter] PRIYANKA: Let's move on.

PRIYANKA: Jimbo, I was so excited to finally see you

out of drag for the first time, but really, it's all the same.

Mediocre. [gasps & laughter]

JIMBO: Okurr. ILONA: Hi, poors.

First up, Boa, Bitch On Arrival.

When are you gonna show up, girl?

[oohing & laughter]

BOA: That was good, that was good, that was good.

ILONA: BoBo, you should really change your last name to Hobo

because your drag is more than pedestrian.

BROOKE LYNN: Wouldn't that be less than pedestrian?

JIMBO: Yeah. SCARLETT: Yes!

ILONA: No, it's like-- like more than just pedestrian.

BROOKE LYNN: Oh. Oh.

ILONA: Oh my God, I live.

Okay, Rita Baga, you're only in your 30s but you paint like

you're trying to get the seniors' discount

at the supermarket.

BROOKE LYNN: That's 'cause she's a smart bitch.

RITA: Mm-hm! [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Let her rip, girl.

BOA: Priyanka, it's so crazy how you can paint so fast.

We paint one face, and you paint two faces.

PRIYANKA: Oh, 'cause I'm shady?

BOA: Yeah. PRIYANKA: Ah, you got it!

BOA: Lemon, can you hold my drink?

I always love putting it on a coaster.

[laughter]

♪

LEMON: That was a good one. That was a good one.

SCARLETT: Ilona Verley,

in drag you give us Morticia Addams.

Out of drag, Uncle Fester. [laughter]

SCARLETT: Kiara, I never understood the term

"loose lips" until I met you.

You get used more than a revolving door during rush hour.

[laughter] KIARA: Oh, my God.

SCARLETT: Rita Baga, the only thing worse than

your drag closet is your piss poor attitude.

RITA: I'm sorry? [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: It's not a bad attitude.

She's French Canadian. [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Thank you, BoBo.

PRIYANKA: Ah, I'm so scared!

KIARA: Boa, I'd love to take you to the gym,

not to work out with you, but to use you as my exercise ball.

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Lemon, I know you have a lot to say.

SCARLETT: Oh, those are cute. PRIYANKA: Really cute on you.

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, don't try to be nice now, bitches.

LEMON: Priyanka, you talk about having sex a lot,

but the only thing you're fucking is stupid.

[laughter]

BOA: You in danger, bitch! [laughter]

LEMON: Kiara, are you a bird?

Because all your runways are cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap!

[oohing & screaming]

LEMON: Rita Baga, last week I saw you

playing with the plastics,

and I saw that there was a slinky there,

and you really remind me of a slinky because

I don't know what you're good at, but I'd love to

push you down the stairs.

ILONA: Oh! [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Good job, Lemon.

LEMON: Coasting where?

BROOKE LYNN: Jimbo.

JIMBO: Ilona, someone get this bitch a medal.

She's a broken record-- sickening, work, I'm living.

[laughter] ILONA: Oh!

JIMBO: Kiara, was your mom a bird?

Because you're pigeon-toed, bitch!

SCARLETT: Ah! KIARA: Pigeon-toed?

BROOKE LYNN: Surprise.

JIMBO: Lemon, you're so full of yourself,

you could be a lemon meringue pie--

light and fluffy on top with a crusty little bottom.

[laughter]

[laughter]

JIMBO: Rita Baga, you think you're all that

and a bag-a chips, but I'm getting more bag-a garbage.

ILONA: Oh!

JIMBO: But I'm not.

I actually think you're incredible.

ILONA: Don't say it. JIMBO: I'm sorry.

That's the worst.

Bad Jimbo. Bad Jimbo.

Bad!

RITA: Priyanka, so apparently you are DTF,

but to me you're more QTL--

questionable taste level.

PRIYANKA: Ah! [laughter]

RITA: Okay, hold on five seconds.

♪

Okay, can we just embrace the fact

that Ilona wasn't complaining for five seconds, please?

ILONA: Oh! [laughter]

RITA: And I'm grateful that we have this

opportunity to do Drag Race, so finally,

a Canadian can win Drag Race.

ILONA: Oh! RITA: Thank you!

ILONA: She just let Brooke Lynn have it!

RITA: Thank you!

BROOKE LYNN: See you on the runway, girl.

JIMBO: Oh, you in danger, bitch!

BROOKE LYNN: La bibliotheque is now closed,

which means you're loitering. [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Run along, darling, run along.

It's always so sad to watch him go.

LEMON: Not that sad.

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, you shady, shady beavers,

the winner of this week's mini challenge

is...

Lemon. [applause]

LEMON: Yeah!

Fuck you.

BROOKE LYNN: You have won a $1,000 gift certificate

from LAG Concepts for divine drag jewels.

LEMON: Work!

I'm gagging.

BROOKE LYNN: You know, they say imitation

is the sincerest form of flattery.

That's right.

For this week's maxi challenge, we are playing

the one, the only... Snatch Game.

[cheering & applause]

ILONA: This is the first Snatch Game ever in Canada.

How iconic.

BROOKE LYNN: Each of you must impersonate a celebrity

and do your very best to make us

blank our blanking blanks off. [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: #CanadasDragRace.

Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.

[laughter & applause]

LEMON: Snatch Game is very important

in this competition because it separates the dumb bitches

from the really clever girls.

♪

LEMON: Did you grow up doing improv?

PRIYANKA: I did.

It's been a while since I have done improv,

but I feel like drag is improv, so...

LEMON: It is. PRIYANKA: I'm excited.

PRIYANKA: Improv challenges are my jam.

I worked in kids TV for eight years.

Working in kids TV taught me how to play different characters,

and just how to like own everything I'm doing.

JIMBO: Why are you glittering that head up?

PRIYANKA: I'm making it into a crystal ball.

JIMBO: What are you being?

PRIYANKA: I'm gonna be Miss Cleo.

JIMBO: Oh, Cleo never lie!

PRIYANKA: Miss Cleo never lies.

Call me now.

PRIYANKA: Miss Cleo, the famous TV psychic.

She's West Indian. I can play into that.

PRIYANKA: $199 for our psychic reading.

PRIYANKA: Snatch Game you need to be really,

really big or you literally can go home.

PRIYANKA: This!

PRIYANKA: I think I'm gonna be okay.

PRIYANKA: I look like Will Smith in Aladin.

PRIYANKA: Call me now.

JEFFREY: Bonjour, babies!

LEMON: Hi-eee.

JEFFREY: I'm here to see who can tickle my funny bone

with their she-larious snatch.

[laughter] LEMON: Yes!

JEFFREY: Hi, Kiara. KIARA: Hi, Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: How are we? KIARA: I'm good, I'm excited.

JEFFREY: Snatch Game is my favourite game

of the year, honey! KIARA: Yeah, me too.

JEFFREY: It's Snatch Game season.

KIARA: Yes. JEFFREY: Speaking of which...

What season is this?

KIARA: It's Christmas.

JEFFREY: [gasps] Mariah!

KIARA: Of course, yeah. Gonna get some champagne.

Gonna get some good boobies.

JEFFREY: I like where this is going!

KIARA: I do her in my show sometimes and, you know,

people really enjoy it.

JEFFREY: It's about staying in character,

thinking like the character... KIARA: Yes.

JEFFREY: ...and making us laugh.

KIARA: Yeah, for sure.

JEFFREY: Don't let Mariah down, honey.

KIARA: I won't, baby. JEFFREY: Thanks, Kiara.

Can't wait to see it. KIARA: Thank you.

JEFFREY: I can't even begin to imagine who this is.

ILONA: Right, there's a lot happening here.

JEFFREY: Give me a hint.

ILONA: I'm getting ready to source out fucking cocks.

JEFFREY: [gasps]

ILONA: Giving you a little Rebecca More.

JEFFREY: So exciting! ILONA: Yeah!

ILONA: Rebecca More is an iconic porn star,

otherwise known as the Cock Destroyer.

Hello.

JEFFREY: Okay, so what are you gonna do to bring Rebecca

to life and make me laugh?

ILONA: So I think being Rebecca is just that over the top

personality, which is, I think, something I need

to channel across anyways. JEFFREY: Yes, girl.

ILONA: So I think this is gonna be the perfect character

for me to do to get that across.

JEFFREY: Do not fade into the background.

This is your time to shine.

Destroy, bitch. ILONA: I'm gonna destroy.

I'm gonna destroy. JEFFREY: See you soon.

Bye-ee. ILONA: Bye.

JEFFREY: Jimbo, I can't think for a second

who you could possibly be doing.

JIMBO: [Joan Rivers] Oh, oh, can we tawk, Jeffrey?

JEFFREY: Oh, you are giving me Joan Rivers right now.

JIMBO: You got it, girl!

JIMBO: Joan Rivers is an icon in the gay community,

in the comedians' community,

so I have some really big shoes to fill.

I need to make sure that my portrayal of her

lives up to her legendary name.

JEFFREY: I cannot wait to see

what you bring us with Miss Joan Rivers.

But you also haven't gotten a win yet.

JIMBO: Okay.

JEFFREY: We know that you can deliver when it comes to looks.

We know that you can deliver when it comes to personality.

This is your time to shine, okay?

This is Snatch Game, girl.

You have made it, now bring it. JIMBO: Thank you.

JEFFREY: Thanks, Jimbo. JIMBO: Thank you, Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: Bye. JIMBO: Bye.

JIMBO: I'm gonna bring everything I have

to the Snatch Game.

I really want to be seen as a fierce competitor,

and ready to win.

PRIYANKA: Hi, Jeffrey. JEFFREY: Hi.

Girl, who are we doing?

PRIYANKA: I'm gonna be Miss Cleo.

JEFFREY: Exciting. PRIYANKA: I'm very excited.

JEFFREY: Okay, so you've got the look down.

How are you gonna make us laugh as Miss Cleo?

PRIYANKA: I did a lot of improv.

I just have to really like listen to what's going on.

JEFFREY: You really stood out in the acting challenge,

so we know that you can bring the comedy.

We know that you can deliver. PRIYANKA: Yes.

JEFFREY: So I'm looking forward to seeing what you're

gonna bring with Miss Cleo.

PRIYANKA: My talk with Jeffrey is going pretty well.

Jeffrey has full confidence in me.

JEFFREY: Did you come to win, or did you come to play?

PRIYANKA: I came to win. Ha!

JEFFREY: I can't wait to see you win.

Thanks, Priyanka. PRIYANKA: Thank you, Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: Goodbye-ee. PRIYANKA: Bye-ee.

PRIYANKA: I have potential to be funny, and I'm good at acting,

so don't worry.

Miss Cleo will come to life. I promise.

PRIYANKA: [laughs]

JEFFREY: What's all this?

SCARLETT: Hello. How are you?

JEFFREY: You have a lot going on here.

SCARLETT: I've got it down to two.

JEFFREY: Oh, we have options here.

SCARLETT: Yeah, so I have my Liza.

JEFFREY: I love a good Liza.

SCARLETT: And I have Fran Drescher,

which is my new one.

JEFFREY: Okay, so give me some of what you've got.

Give me a little bit of Fran Drescher.

SCARLETT: [Fran Drescher] Oh, Mr. Jeffrey, ha-ha!

How you doing today?

A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

SCARLETT: I'm like, "Oh, my God."

He's looking at me like... JEFFREY: Switch it up.

Give me a little bit of Liza, darling.

SCARLETT: [Liza Minelli] Well, it's fuckin' Liza.

I mean, look at this.

I've got two hairs. I've got two wigs.

I've got some shoes and an outfit.

It's Liza! JEFFREY: [laughs]

SCARLETT: It's Liza Minelli, you know?

How can you go wrong with Liza? JEFFREY: Amazing.

Okay, so you've done Liza before.

SCARLETT: Yeah.

JEFFREY: Ask yourself, is this the time to take a risk,

or is this the time to play it safe?

Because you have been safe in this competition

again and again and again. SCARLETT: Yeah.

JEFFREY: I'll just leave you with that.

SCARLETT: Thanks, honey. JEFFREY: Bye!

SCARLETT: I'm happy that I made it to Snatch Game,

but I just don't know who I'm gonna pick.

SCARLETT: [Drescher] Mrs. Sheffield.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

♪

JEFFREY: Rita Baga, so what have we got going on here?

RITA: She's the most well-known French singer.

JEFFREY: Edith Piaf. RITA: Yes.

JEFFREY: Um, she's got so much to work with.

RITA: I choose Edith Piaf.

I don't think it has ever been done before,

a French character on the Snatch Game and, you know,

she likes to be memorable.

RITA: People know her mostly because she was a drug addict.

JEFFREY: Yes.

RITA: She was really miserable, so it's easy to play with that.

But when she first started her career, she was really sassy.

I'm gonna play with that.

JEFFREY: No one's done her on Snatch Game.

RITA: I'm excited but I'm nervous at the same time.

JEFFREY: Let's see what you've got, Miss Rita Baga.

I can't wait. Make us laugh.

RITA: I will. JEFFREY: Bye.

RITA: It's a promise.

JEFFREY: What have we got going on here?

BOA: So, we have some Cyndi Lauper.

JEFFREY: Uh-huh. BOA: Rebel Wilson.

JEFFREY: Who else? BOA: Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

JEFFREY: The girl who had fake cancer?

BOA: Yes. JEFFREY: Okay, okay.

BOA: I really want to do it but I don't want to be offensive,

so I feel like I'm playing on a fine line here.

JEFFREY: Okay. I want to hear a little bit of what you've got

for Cyndi Lauper's voice.

BOA: [Cyndi Lauper] Very like New Yawk and cute,

and she's got a little something in her throat, you know?

JEFFREY: I don't know if I do know.

BOA: Jeffrey's looking at me like, "You better don't, girl!"

BOA: [Lauper] A little higher, maybe?

Something like that? Is that a little bit better?

JEFFREY: Okay...

I want to hear what you've got for Rebel Wilson.

BOA: So excited to be here, Jeffrey,

and she can do like a dab. She does a dab.

Maybe she could have like a tattoo or something.

And she's just stupid, like I could just like...

JEFFREY: Don't think too much about it,

but listen to what you're saying, okay?

You've got a lot of work ahead of you.

I can't wait to see what you pull together.

You've got this. Peace.

BOA: Take care. I love you.

JEFFREY: Bye-ee! BOA: [sputters]

JEFFREY: Hi, Lemon. LEMON: How are you?

JEFFREY: So what have we got going on here?

LEMON: I've decided to do JoJo Siwa

who is from Dance Moms. JEFFREY: Okay.

LEMON: And now she is a kind of child star.

She's a very loud personality.

LEMON: JoJo has so many funny qualities about her.

She talks superfast.

She asks questions and then answers them immediately.

She can't pronounce her Rs, so I think there's a lot

of material that I can work with.

JEFFREY: Let's talk about the critiques.

How are you feeling about everything?

LEMON: I'm feeling puzzlement.

I'm a little bit confused because I'm working my butt off,

and it's feeling like I'm not doing enough.

JEFFREY: Hmm.

LEMON: And drag is my everything.

Like, I thought for a long time that dance was the only thing

that made me happy, and then I found this,

and it just changed my world.

JEFFREY: You're really feeling this right now, huh?

LEMON: Yeah, I want to prove to you guys that

this matters so much to me,

and I want to be Canada's next drag superstar,

and I want to show you guys that I have everything

it fucking takes to do that.

JEFFREY: I cannot wait to see what you bring to Snatch Game.

Make us laugh. LEMON: I can't either.

JEFFREY: Bye.

LEMON: After being called a coaster,

I know that I have to take a huge risk,

and Snatch Game is the perfect place to do that

because if I'm gonna lose, I'm gonna lose big.

♪

JEFFREY: Ladies, I'm going to leave you to get into your faces

and out of your heads.

And tomorrow, on the main stage,

category is "Night of a Thousand Celines."

[applause & laughter]

JEFFREY: And on the runway,

we'll be joined by our extra special guest host,

iconic funny woman, Mary Walsh.

[applause & laughter] ILONA: Oh, my God!

JIMBO: I have watched her since I was a little boy.

Mary Walsh is hilarious.

JEFFREY: Bye, girls. QUEENS: Bye-ee.

JEFFREY: Make us laugh. LEMON: [laughs] Oh, fuck.

SCARLETT: Snatch Game, you've gotta serve or go home.

SCARLETT: [Minnelli] It's Liza!

It's fuckin' Liza! Oh, my God.

♪

ILONA: Oh!

TRACI: Hi, I'm Traci Melchor.

We are live on the red carpet with SheTalk at the Snatch Game.

♪

TRACI: All the stars are out for this premiere.

BOA: [Gypsy Rose] I'm so excited to be here.

TRACI: Are you gonna play by the rules tonight?

SCARLETT: [Minelli] I make the rules, honey.

I'm Liza! I'm fuckin' Liza!

TRACI: It's the gayest night of the year!

RITA: [Edith Piaf] Let's have a ménage a trois?

TRACI: Since last week...

ILONA: [Rebecca More] Lately I've been just trying to be a pretty good girl.

PRIYANKA: [Miss Cleo] The odds are in my favour for the low price of 3.99.

You got some money in there?

TRACI: So let's tuck in, and get ready for some snatch-worthy appearances.

BOA: There we go. We're good, we're good.

Oh, no!

JIMBO: [Rivers] I haven't been flashed this much

since Central Park.

♪

BROOKE LYNN: Welcome to Canada's newest game show sensation,

the Snatch Game.

BROOKE LYNN: I am your host, Brooke Lynn Hytes,

living proof that if you bomb this show,

they make you come back and host it.

Joining us today is Scottish- born interior design duo,

Colin and Justin. JUSTIN: Hey, Brookers!

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, hi. How are ya?

JUSTIN: We're always good when you're nearby.

BROOKE LYNN: Now, you boys have been in Canada

for over a decade now.

What do you love so much about living here?

COLIN: It's a lifestyle.

It's about getting close to nature.

It's about wearing plaid.

BROOKE LYNN: What about our wildlife?

JUSTIN: We've seen a few bears in our travels.

COLIN: And there's a lot of beaver

in this room this evening. JUSTIN: [laughs]

Yes, there is. [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Let's meet our celebrities.

First up, ripped from the headlines, and her IV,

it's Gypsy Rose Blanchard!

BOA: Hi, how are you?

BROOKE LYNN: Hi, Gypsy. How you feeling?

BOA: I'm excited, so excited I could just kill my mother!

♪

BROOKE LYNN: And look who it is! None other than Joan Rivers!

JIMBO: Oh, Brooke Lynn, I'm wondering what the hell

I did for my life to end up in the bottom

of the waste basket with these hairballs!

Oh, and I also brought Edgar.

I don't go anywhere without Edgar's ashes.

Oh! COLIN: [laughs]

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, my goodness.

And look, from Dance Moms, online sensation,

it is JoJo Siwa!

LEMON: Hey, how's it goin'? I'm so excited to be here.

This is the best day of my whole life!

Just legit the best day ever!

I am so excited to be here at the Snatch Game.

I'm so excited to live my truth.

BROOKE LYNN: And what truth would that be?

LEMON: That I can't pronounce my Rs.

[laughter] BROOKE LYNN: Thank you.

LEMON: Thank you, Brooke Lynn!

BROOKE LYNN: And it is everybody's favourite

TV psychic, Miss Cleo.

PRIYANKA: Call me now!

BROOKE LYNN: Miss Cleo, can you tell me what I'm thinking

right now?

PRIYANKA: Hmm, you're thinking about...

some snatch for taste later.

BROOKE LYNN: What does that mean?

PRIYANKA: It means you suck a pom-pom.

BROOKE LYNN: What's a pom-pom?

PRIYANKA: Look under the dance belt.

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, got it.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

And, oh, my stars, legendary French chanteuse,

Edith Piaf!

RITA: Thank you. Thank you so much.

BROOKE LYNN: You look a little hunched over.

RITA: Oh, just a little bit. I've been sleeping, you know?

BROOKE LYNN: For how many years now?

RITA: Oh, too much, my baby.

BROOKE LYNN: Now, you know you can't smoke in here, right?

RITA: Okay.

♪

BROOKE LYNN: And next to Edith, it's singer, actor,

Judy's daughter, it's Liza with a zed.

SCARLETT: It's Liza. She's here.

Hello, hello, hello! How are you, Brooke?

What'd going on? BROOKE LYNN: I'm great.

You know, I would love to see you and JoJo in a fight.

SCARLETT: Oh, God, well, if she keeps it up,

we're gonna have one, honey, because she needs

a fucking Ritalin, and I need a goddamn nap,

after I heard that one go on.

LEMON: It would be one hell of a dance battle.

SCARLETT: Here she goes! Here she goes!

Okay.

These kids don't know talent if it hit them.

BROOKE LYNN: Up next, it's Miss Mariah Carey.

KIARA: Hi, Brooke. BROOKE LYNN: How are you?

KIARA: I'm good. I'm good.

Just feels like Christmas. I'm very excited.

BROOKE LYNN: How are the twins?

KIARA: The twins are really great.

BROOKE LYNN: And your kids?

Okay, alright.

Well, it's good to have you here.

KIARA: Hi, guys.

BROOKE LYNN: Look who it is, porn star, Rebecca More.

ILONA: Yes, I'm a fucking cock destroyer.

BROOKE LYNN: Is this your first time on a game show?

ILONA: You know, Brooke Lynn, yes.

It is.

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: I love a quick, short, concise answer.

COLIN: Where's Anne Murray?

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, let's play the Snatch Game!

ILONA: Fuckin' love snatch.

BROOKE LYNN: Let's get to our first question.

Here it is.

Colin, dumb Debra is so dumb, instead of gravy,

she puts blank on her poutine.

♪

COLIN: She puts custard on her poutine.

JUSTIN: Custard? BROOKE LYNN: Custard?

COLIN: Yeah, 'cause she's dumb and it's not gravy.

BROOKE LYNN: Custard. Let's see if we have a match.

Let's go to Liza.

Dumb Debra is so dumb, she puts what on her poutine?

SCARLETT: I put liquor. BROOKE LYNN: Liquor.

SCARLETT: Because if there's one thing my mother taught me,

it's how to take a drink and a bottle of pills

in the same swig.

KIARA: Scarlett's doing a good job on Liza Minnelli.

For a character she pulled off like last minute,

like she's doing great.

SCARLETT: Rest in peace, Judy.

BROOKE LYNN: You never stood a chance, did you?

SCARLETT: I never did. But look at me now!

I'm fuckin' Liza!

BROOKE LYNN: Miss Cleo. PRIYANKA: Me know Debra.

BROOKE LYNN: Uh-huh.

PRIYANKA: And she put bleach because she's so dutty,

she wants to clean she inside out.

She dumb. She stupid.

BROOKE LYNN: Well, because you're psychic,

I expected you would make a match with Colin.

PRIYANKA: Hmm.

Oops.

BROOKE LYNN: Okay.

RITA: Priyanka, are you sleeping?

What's happening?

Well, I'm not sure about this Miss Cleo.

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, up next, let's go to JoJo Siwa.

LEMON: Well, you know, I don't know Debra,

but I don't like to bully people 'cause I get bullied a lot,

so I just wrote maybe it's your hair

that keeps falling out-- uh, "haiw."

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: That is pronounced haiw .

COLIN: Haiw.

LEMON: Yeah, I put hair on everything I eat,

even if it's not on purpose.

SCARLETT: Did anybody understand any of that?

Did anybody understand any of that? [laughter]

ILONA: She needs a fucking translator.

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, Joan Rivers.

JIMBO: Okay, let's do it.

BROOKE LYNN: What was Dumb Debra put on her poutine?

JIMBO: I said ashes.

I like ashes everywhere, in the morning on my breakfast.

Oh, I'll sprinkle it on the answer.

[laughter] JIMBO: Just one second.

Oh, oh, gawd. [laughter]

JIMBO: Just a bit of ashes.

BROOKE LYNN: Next question, here it is.

Justin. JUSTIN: Brooke Lynn.

BROOKE LYNN: Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman is such a babe,

his fans are always sending him blank.

Justin? JUSTIN: Diapers!

BROOKE LYNN: Okay.

Let's start with Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

BOA: I said money! JUSTIN: Oh!

BOA: My fans send me money for my health and stuff,

but we're in Canada, so I just spend it on computers, wigs,

costumes, and other things just to impress the boys.

JIMBO: You should use some of that money to fix that face.

Jesus Christ, that's a face only a mother could love.

BOA: I will stab you, bitch. JIMBO: Oh, Christ.

I would love to be murdered beside this dumb bitch.

LEMON: Yo, wassup?

BROOKE LYNN: Just out of curiosity,

how did you kill your mother?

BOA: Well...

JIMBO: She ate her! Look at this fat bitch.

[laughter]

[sound of something dropping]

JIMBO: Oh gawd, I'm sorry. That was my vagina.

ILONA: Jimbo as Joan Rivers, oh, my gosh, Jimbo's killing it.

I almost break character laughing.

BOA: You okay?

JIMBO: Oh gawd, it's just my vagina, it drops.

ILONA: Oh, Jimbo did so good.

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, up next. Edith Piaf.

RITA: I don't have any answer, but I might sing a song for you.

BROOKE LYNN: Absolutely.

JUSTIN: I would love a song.

JIMBO: Here we go.

Kill me now.

RITA: Now...

This will be my final act.

Thank you. [laughter]

JUSTIN: Impressive stuff.

BROOKE LYNN: That was so beautiful.

RITA: I'm feeling very sleepy.

BROOKE LYNN: Okay. RITA: These bitches are boring.

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Mimi,

what do Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman's fans send him?

KIARA: I would love to get Christmas presents

all year long, honey.

SCARLETT: Oh, God, here we go again.

KIARA: Mm-hm. Did you buy my new album?

BROOKE LYNN: No. What's it called?

KIARA: It's called "Honey, This is Christmas, Baby."

SCARLETT: Oh, God.

BROOKE LYNN: It's called Honey, apostrophe,

This is Christmas, Baby? KIARA: Oh, yes, honey.

LEMON: Kiara's Mimi is... not quite it.

BROOKE LYNN: I'll be sure to look for it at Wal-Mart.

KIARA: Thank you. LEMON: You need a punchline.

You can't just say a bunch of sentences.

BROOKE LYNN: Up next, we have Rebecca More.

ILONA: I'm trying to keep a little bit PG,

so I can get a little bit more family-friendly gigs.

BROOKE LYNN: Mm-hmm. ILONA: So I said "chicken pics."

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Instead of "dick pics."

ILONA: Chicken pics.

BROOKE LYNN: Or we could say "cock pics" even, maybe?

ILONA: You like fucking cock, Brooke Lynn?

BROOKE LYNN: Could you do me a favour and spell out

how you pronounce cock?

Because I'm very curious to see what that looks like.

ILONA: C...

Ock . [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, Joan.

JIMBO: I just wrote "help".

Melissa, if you're watching this,

get me the hell out of here.

I keep clicking my goddamn heels together like Judy.

SCARLETT: Don't you talk about my mother like that!

JIMBO: Your mother and I invented the Snatch Game, okay?

You miss your mother? Smell my goddamn fingers.

[laughter]

SCARLETT: Get your fingers out of my face!

ILONA: I'll fuckin' smell your fingers, yeah.

JIMBO: Oh, my God!

BROOKE LYNN: We really should move on, ladies.

JIMBO: Someone have my finger removed.

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, enough. You are all wrong.

ILONA: You fuckin' like that?

BROOKE LYNN: Okay, Colin, it's back to you.

Freaky Franny is so freaky, when she pole dances,

she uses a blank.

COLIN: A hockey stick. JUSTIN: Yes!

BROOKE LYNN: JoJo, I'm sure you have an answer.

LEMON: I sure do got an answer.

The way I pole dance, which I love to dance,

I always do it on a Pixie Stick filled with cocaine.

[laughter]

RITA: I would like to have some. LEMON: Thanks, Joan.

I'm having the best time ever here at the Snatch Game.

How are you feeling? 'Cause I'm feeling really good.

This is great! 'Ey!

SCARLETT: Someone get that child an Adderall or something.

BROOKE LYNN: Up next, Mariah Carey.

KIARA: As artists, it's important to remember

that we always dance with our emotions.

BROOKE LYNN: So, what is your answer, Mimi?

KIARA: Emotions.

BROOKE LYNN: Emotions. Okay, thank you.

Liza?

SCARLETT: Well, I don't know much about dancing on poles,

so I just put "new wig" because when you're tired

of your shitty old one, just throw on a new one,

and you'll be good to go! [laughter]

SCARLETT: Good to go, darling, good to go!

BROOKE LYNN: Edith, my dear, what did you write down?

RITA: So I just write down "magic."

You know, just like these pills, it's magical. [snoring]

[laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Edith, Edith, wake up.

RITA: Where the fuck are we?

[laughter]

LEMON: Rita is so in character,

and I am living for Edith Piaf.

SCARLETT: Tell her to go back to bed.

BROOKE LYNN: I'm sorry, but that's not a match.

[Rita snoring]

BROOKE LYNN: Alright, this may be a huge mistake,

but I have one more question.

Colin, the surgeon said, "This queen I'm operating on

"must be a magician.

"When I reached in to pull out her appendix, I got a blank."

COLIN: A white rabbit. [laughter]

PRIYANKA: I'm sitting there looking around,

being like, "Oh, all these girls are gonna

"come with funny answers. What am I gonna do?"

BROOKE LYNN: Let's see how many matches you got.

Okay, celebrities.

Miss Cleo. SCARLETT: Oh, God.

PRIYANKA: Listen, Miss Cleo knows all and she sees all.

BROOKE LYNN: Mm-hm, except for everything.

[laughter]

PRIYANKA: I said "a bottle of rum,"

because them queens love to drink.

♪

SCARLETT: Can someone get me a drink, please?

PRIYANKA: I'm so bad, oh, my God!

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, no match.

Um, Edith?

Instead of an appendix, what did the surgeon pull out?

RITA: I just wrote "coffin." [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: He pulled a coffin?

RITA: Can you please bring me my coffin back?

I am tired of this shit show. [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: Unfortunately, not a match,

but we will get working on that coffin for you.

[laughter]

KIARA: A bottle of champagne because I need a drink.

ILONA: Share that fucking drink.

KIARA: I don't want to share it.

I want one. SCARLETT: I think we lost one.

BROOKE LYNN: And that is all the time we have for today!

And the winner of the Snatch Game is

the town of Dildo, Newfoundland!

JIMBO: Oh, gawd.

BROOKE LYNN: Colin and Justin, thanks so much for playing,

and we will see you next time on the Snatch Game.

♪

♪

♪

♪

BOA: Ooh, we're here!

SCARLETT: We're here to make it clear.

BOA: So, ladies, we are the first ever queens to do Snatch Game

on Canada's Drag Race! [all cheering]

SCARLETT: I feel like that was an iconic

Canadian her-story moment.

PRIYANKA: I feel like I made history with the worst

Canadian Snatch Game ever!

ILONA: Priyanka, can you stop playing the victim?

[oohing & laughter]

SCARLETT: How are you feeling?

Are you feeling a little nervous?

KIARA: I'm good with improv when I make my own characters

and when I feel some freedom.

But I feel like, with Mariah, I had to like really stick to it

and didn't know how to get out of it,

and how to make people laugh.

KIARA: I regret that I didn't do a good job at the Snatch Game,

so I'm gonna do my best on the runway,

and do my best to stay in the competition.

KIARA: Yeah.

SCARLETT: So, guys, I'm so excited

it's Night of a Thousand Celines!

[all cheering]

SCARLETT: Let's do it!

♪

♪

ILONA: I hope I make Celine Dion proud.

SCARLETT: We better. [laughter]

LEMON: So, Jimbo, how do you feel like you did in Snatch Game?

JIMBO: Uh, I had so much fun.

LEMON: I thought you were so good.

JIMBO: Doing that is my favourite thing.

JIMBO: I love when people laugh, and I love making people laugh.

JIMBO: It was funny to see like the key to Brooke Lynn's humour.

You know when you hear that sound that's like inescapable.

LEMON: Yeah.

JIMBO: My childhood was really chaotic.

When I was in school, I was judged so much

about being gay or feminine.

I was very awkward.

I had no friends.

I wore different clothes than other people.

I was interested in different things than other people

and I didn't really fit in.

But in grade 10, I was on the bus,

I made a joke, and everyone laughed.

Being myself in that moment paid off, and from that moment,

I started to just rely on my sense of humour

and to be more myself, and I was able to make friends.

It's a really powerful message to show people that

you can be stepped on but you can rise up.

PRIYANKA: Kiara? KIARA: Yes?

PRIYANKA: Does your dad know you do drag?

KIARA: My stepdad, yeah.

PRIYANKA: Okay. What about your...?

KIARA: My biological dad, like my parents

separated when I was three.

I was not really close with him.

PRIYANKA: Okay.

KIARA: Like he wanted me to, you know, have like a--

like a... PRIYANKA: Man job?

KIARA: Yeah, a man job or whatever,

and I never felt like that.

You know, I always wanted to have like his approval,

in a way, but I never really like...

PRIYANKA: Got it? KIARA: ...got it.

KIARA: I feel like everybody wants approval

from their parents.

It's just natural, I think.

KIARA: If I'm successful at what I do,

I feel like he will be happy.

KIARA: Drag is an art, like any other,

so I just hope that he sees it as not just like a hobby

but really like a passion and a career.

BOA: I'm gonna make Celine so proud.

Are you guys? [all cheering]

SCARLETT: Oh, yeah.

This is the one runway that none of us can fuck up

because we're Canadian.

LEMON: And Brooke Lynn did it already.

[laughter]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪ Covergirl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe let your whole body talk ♪

JEFFREY: Oh, she's going that way. [laughs]

♪ And what? ♪

[applause]

MARY: Welcome to the main stage of Canada's Drag Race.

I'm Mary Walsh, and I am over the moon thrilled

to be the extra special guest host.

[applause]

MARY: Stacey McKenzie, there you are.

Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, you are so cute.

Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes, have you ever tasted cod tongue?

BROOKE LYNN: [laughs] I'm sorry.

I don't speak East Coast lesbian.

[laughter]

MARY: This week, the queens were challenged to give us

their best celebrity impressions in Canada's

very first Snatch Game.

And tonight, on the runway,

category is "Night of a Thousand Celines."

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win!

♪

MARY: First up, Boa.

BROOKE LYNN: Fringe, fringe, fringe across the board.

BOA: This look is inspired by Celine at the Met Gala.

I am serving car wash realness in this gorgeous

feather headpiece, and this almost

floor-length fringe.

Do you need a wash? Full service, honey.

JEFFREY: No headdress for the wicked.

MARY: Shave your armpits. [laughter]

MARY: Next up, Scarlett BoBo.

STACEY: Poof, there it is.

BROOKE LYNN: Satin-her? I don't even know her.

SCARLETT: I'm honouring Celine Dion with my Paris Fashion Week

bedtime eleganza.

JEFFREY: Oh, it's so hard to get out of bed.

BROOKE LYNN: Just take it with you.

SCARLETT: I'm serving you soft face, this cute little bun,

this elegant, off-the-shoulder dress.

I'm like, "Oh, look at my glittery collarbones."

MARY: Kiara.

JEFFREY: Ruffles all dressed, bitch.

STACEY: A new gay has come.

KIARA: Tonight, the fantasy is Celine album release realness.

I am serving legs on the runway.

I'm serving ruffles.

I'm feeling sexy in this ponytail.

BROOKE LYNN: A French exit. JUDGES: Au revoir .

STACEY: Sortie.

MARY: Rita Baga.

BROOKE LYNN: I will sell this house today.

RITA: The inspiration is Celine before and after the fame.

I'm serving you '80s ugly realness, and ooh,

a little reveal. BROOKE LYNN: Oh!

RITA: She's wearing a black sequin dress.

She looks lovely.

JEFFREY: Her heart does go on, and on...

JEFFREY & MARY: ...and on.

RITA: She's strutting. She's walking.

She's goofing all around, just like the Celine we know.

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, the duck walk of shame.

I know it well.

MARY: Jimbo.

JEFFREY: Oh! MARY: Oh!

JIMBO: I am inspired by Celine Dion Paris Fashion Week.

MARY: Drill sergeant Celine Dion.

BROOKE LYNN: Drive all night and drop and give them 20.

JIMBO: I'm sparkling from head to toe,

showing off my rhinestone glasses

and my rhinestone shoulders.

I've just escaped from Celine Dion boot camp,

and I'm here to serve you fashion.

STACEY: Are those shoulders the Dion quintuplets?

[laughter]

MARY: Next is Lemon.

LEMON: I am serving you her 1998 Oscars performance,

where she won an Oscar.

BROOKE LYNN: Queer, far, wherever you are.

LEMON: I feel gorgeous in this dress,

and I feel like I am the heart of the ocean.

Didn't the old lady drop it in the ocean in the end?

Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.

MARY: Next up, Ilona Verley.

ILONA: I'm doing Celine Dion and Elsa Schiaparelli, 2017.

I want to show the judges that I can walk in an actual heel.

I'm giving you "find the life alert

'cause I'm about to drop dead in these fucking shoes."

BROOKE LYNN: My EKG machine just says "slut."

ILONA: She's rhinestoned. She's glistening.

She's letting the judges have it.

MARY: Is she wearing a life jacket on her bottom?

MARY: And Priyanka.

BROOKE LYNN: Oh, here comes the bride.

MARY: Oh!

PRIYANKA: Look at this wedding dress!

It is the exact replica of the one she wore.

STACEY: She's father and the bride.

PRIYANKA: And shablam, there's another dress

under the wedding dress!

I am serving her icon award dress.

Thank you so much.

Thank you and goodnight.

♪

♪

MARY: Well, welcome, ladies.

STACEY: Based on your performance in the Snatch Game,

and your runway presentation, we've made some decisions.

When I call your name, please step forward.

Ilona Verley...

Scarlett BoBo...

You are both safe.

You may leave the stage and head back to the workroom.

♪

STACEY: Ladies, you represent the tops and the bottoms

of this week.

♪

MARY: It's now time for the judges' critiques.

STACEY: First up, Boa.

Brooke Lynn, what did you think of her performance

on Snatch Game?

BROOKE LYNN: It wasn't as good as I wanted you to be.

BOA: Okay. BROOKE LYNN: With the makeup,

I would have loved you to have gone sicker with it,

more red under the eyes.

As for this look, there's way too much fringe.

I completely lose your shape in this.

STACEY: Jeffrey.

JEFFREY: So in your Snatch Game, I felt like you were

a little bit scared of making fun of her.

BOA: I didn't want to get like too crazy.

I should have just went full force.

I could have gave you the craziest act I've ever done,

and I held back. JEFFREY: You certainly did.

This look tonight, I can see that you were padded

and you were cinched, but we can't see any of that.

STACEY: In your Snatch Game, you were holding back.

BOA: Well...

STACEY: And I knew you had it in you

to just like let loose and let go.

Don't be afraid to do that. BOA: Yeah.

STACEY: Jeffrey, what did you think of Kiara?

JEFFREY: You seemed so confident in your choice of Mariah Carey.

KIARA: Yeah.

JEFFREY: And then, when you had to deliver as Mariah Carey,

where did she go?

KIARA: She went Mariah Scary, honey.

She, uh, I don't know where she went.

I got stuck.

BROOKE LYNN: Mariah Carey is an extremely hard person

to make funny and it didn't work for you, unfortunately.

On the runway, you look gorgeous.

The outfit is gorgeous. I love it.

It's simplistic, but you have to be so careful

when you do a ponytail wig.

It doesn't look great.

MARY: Well, I have to disagree about the hair.

I really liked the hair. KIARA: Thank you.

MARY: But Mariah Carey,

it's all breasts with me and Mariah Carey.

You know what I mean? That's all I ever see.

STACEY: She's always like sexed out.

Even if you were just to be like whatever.

You know, and just be showing titties.

KIARA: Yeah.

STACEY: It would have given the character more

of a Mariah feel to it. KIARA: Yeah.

STACEY: Next up, Rita Baga.

MARY: It really interests me when people do things

that aren't glamourous, when people do characters.

RITA: Can you please bring me my coffin back?

I'm tired of this shit show.

BROOKE LYNN: Everyone was kind of doing this with you,

like, "What is she gonna do next?"

One of my favourite Snatch Games I've ever seen ever.

RITA: Oh, thank you.

BROOKE LYNN: Your runway look, a very odd choice for Celine

looks when there are so many.

MARY: What were you going for with that walk?

RITA: In Love Can Move Mountains,

she spent the entire song doing that, like this.

MARY: Oh!

JEFFREY: Everyone in Quebec has a crazy French aunt

that's just like Celine Dion, so I got it.

STACEY: You killed it again. RITA: Thank you!

STACEY: Great job. RITA: Merci beaucoup.

STACEY: Next is Jimbo.

MARY: I thought you were great as Joan Rivers.

JIMBO: Oh! Oh, gawd!

MARY: You did enough changes and surprising things

to keep me with you. I was really very impressed.

Thank you very much.

BROOKE LYNN: Did you have fun during Snatch Game?

JIMBO: I had the time of my life.

MARY: Often, that's the secret to the whole thing, isn't it?

When somebody's having a good time,

you can't help but go along with them, right?

STACEY: When it came to the runway, hello.

You had everybody's mouth dropped from the time

you walked out to the time you walked off.

JIMBO: Thank you so much. STACEY: Big up yourself Jimbo.

BROOKE LYNN: Big up yourself as well.

[laughter] MARY: Do what?

STACEY: It's a Jamaican thing.

JEFFREY: It's a black thing, honey.

It's a black thing. JIMBO: Yes, thank you.

STACEY: What did you think about Lemon?

BROOKE LYNN: You were magnificent.

LEMON: I just wrote maybe it's her hair that keeps falling out.

Uh, "haiw." [laughter]

BROOKE LYNN: This is a Snatch Game

people are going to remember for a very long time.

JEFFREY: I didn't know who JoJo was.

I don't care that I didn't know who JoJo was

because you showed me who she is and I want more of her.

You were so present.

You paid attention to everything that everybody was doing.

It was perfect.

However, on the runway tonight, I was so disappointed

after what you delivered in Snatch Game.

It's kind of basic.

It's iconic. I get it.

Titanic, blah, blah, blah.

But I need to see that personality shine through

on the runway too. LEMON: Right.

JEFFREY: Remember that. LEMON: Okay.

MARY: Sometimes, when I'm dressed up in a completely

ridiculous felt costume with gold glue around my breasts,

and a plastic sword, and I'm ambushing the prime minister,

I sometimes feel so stupid that I decide,

"Fuck it, I'm just gonna go for it anyway."

You did a great job, and you completely committed to it,

and that's what it takes, isn't it?

LEMON: Yes.

MARY: But I don't think anybody could act their way

out of that dress.

It just covers you up completely.

LEMON: Yes, of course.

MARY: You should give yourself a chance to shine forth,

not behind navy blue jersey.

BROOKE LYNN: When you're wearing something that simplistic,

you have to have more shape to your body.

I would have loved to have seen a really tiny cinched waist.

LEMON: Yes.

BROOKE LYNN: I would have loved to see a pad.

And it just would have elevated it a bit for me.

STACEY: You were brilliant in Snatch Game.

I didn't know who JoJo was, at first,

so I ended up Googling,

and I'm like, "This is the same person."

[laughter] LEMON: Thank you.

STACEY: Thank you, Lemon.

Priyanka.

BROOKE LYNN: This runway look, you could have walked out

in either one of those by themselves,

and I would have been okay with it.

And then you put them together, and it was like...

MARY: I loved everything you did on the runway.

The whole look was fabulous, and then,

for you to do brilliant Celine moves, brilliant runway.

Thank you very much. PRIYANKA: Thank you.

JEFFREY: Oh, hi, Priyanka.

PRIYANKA: Oh no, I've been dreading this.

Hi, Jeffrey!

JEFFREY: Tell me what I'm thinking right now.

PRIYANKA: It was really bad.

JEFFREY: Your choice of Miss Cleo,

it was an interesting choice.

PRIYANKA: Call me now!

JEFFREY: There were so many places to go,

and you didn't go to any of those places.

BROOKE LYNN: Because you're psychic,

I expected you would make a match with Colin.

PRIYANKA: Hmm.

Oops.

MARY: You know, sometimes when you're working with

other people, and they're doing something amazing,

just repeat the lines that the funny person said.

[laughter]

Use other people's energy because that's what

improvisation is about,

and improvisation is about saying yes.

So, you know, you're not all alone there,

just trying to create this character by yourself.

You've got all these other people that you can

work with and off.

PRIYANKA: I fucked up real bad.

BROOKE LYNN: Yeah. It was very one-note.

PRIYANKA: Oh! I'm so embarrassed.

STACEY: Thank you, ladies.

You may untuck in the workroom while we deliberate.

♪

[snoring]

[piano lullaby]

JIMBO: BoBo and Ilona are sleeping?

This isn't Romper Room, bitch.

Wake up, girl!

BOA: Boo! [laughter]

JIMBO: Oh, my God, you guys talked yourself to sleep?

[laughter]

SCARLETT: What happened? What's the T?

ILONA: Who's in the bottom? Who's lip synching?

SCARLETT: Uh-oh. ILONA: Who's it gonna be?

KIARA: Okay, so I'm in the bottom.

They didn't like my Snatch Game.

They thought I did not embody Mariah.

SCARLETT: What about you two?

BOA: So they said I held back with Gypsy Rose.

I picked a character and I should have gone

all the way with it because she was just so fucked.

KIARA: I was surprised for Priyanka's critique.

I feel like you might be safe.

BOA: I think you're safe. PRIYANKA: I don't know.

I really bombed the maxi challenge.

LEMON: But they loved your look.

KIARA: So who deserves to win this week?

SCARLETT: Miss Cleo, what do you think?

Can you see a vision?

JIMBO: Miss Cleo, tell us, what's the future?!

LEMON: No, she can't.

Kiki. KIARA: Yes.

LEMON: How are you feeling now?

KIARA: I feel ready to destroy anybody who is up against me.

[all groaning]

KIARA: Kiki wanna fight, fight.

PRIYANKA: [slurps]

[burps]

STACEY: Just between us A-listers...

BROOKE LYNN: Don't you mean C-listers?

JEFFREY: I think she means D-listers.

MARY: Is this about cup size? [laughter]

JEFFREY: Something like that.

STACEY: Let's start with Boa.

You know, I was really disappointed in Boa

in Snatch Game.

You know, I was expecting to get more.

BROOKE LYNN: She held back, and Snatch Game is the one place

you cannot hold back.

On the runway, I just lost her completely in that outfit.

You don't need that much fringe

to get the point of fringe across.

STACEY: Oh my gosh, Kiara as Mariah Carey-- ugh.

BROOKE LYNN: I didn't see any like effort to be Mariah

when she was doing it.

And it was so bizarre because we know she's such a good actor,

we've seen in the past challenges.

STACEY: And she just looks so beautiful, but then,

when she opened her mouth, it was just like, no.

MARY: I thought she did great in the runway look.

I love the runway look.

BROOKE LYNN: Well, you're wrong.

MARY: No, I'm not, Brooke Lynn. [laughter]

I am right.

STACEY: Oh, my gosh, Rita Baga as Edith Piaf.

With her every move, I wanted to know

what she was gonna do next.

JEFFREY: She paid such close attention to the nuance

of who this person was.

I was very underwhelmed by the white ensemble,

when she first came out on the runway, but thank God,

she pulled that away and gave us that lack look

because it was really so fun.

STACEY: Loved Jimbo as Joan Rivers.

Funny, hilarious.

JEFFREY: She was channelling every ounce of her,

and I was living for it.

MARY: She looked like Joan Rivers.

She sounded like Joan Rivers.

She just stayed Joan Rivers the whole time.

BROOKE LYNN: She did not let me down for a second in that

Snatch Game, nor did she let me down on that runway.

I really appreciated the way she elevated that Celine look.

She sequined it and made it drag.

JEFFREY: Lemon blew my mind as JoJo.

MARY: She completely committed to it.

She was really, really good. STACEY: She was brilliant.

JEFFREY: She just shines when it comes to acting challenges.

I just really want to see her do that

when it comes to the runway.

STACEY: Oh, my gosh, Priyanka did Miss Cleo.

I was shocked.

She didn't bring nothing to that character.

She was just bland.

BROOKE LYNN: It was so disappointing,

especially because she has been so on it

this entire competition.

MARY: Priyanka could have so easily interacted

with all the rest of the contestants.

Every time somebody said something,

she could have said, "I knew she was going to say that."

You know what I mean? [laughter]

JEFFREY: It was hers to lose and she lost hard.

STACEY: So, have we made our final decision?

BROOKE LYNN: I think so.

STACEY: Bring back our Celines.

MARY: Welcome back, my queens.

STACEY: Ladies, based on your runway presentation,

and Snatch Game, we've made some decisions.

Jimbo, on the runway, you served us elevated Celine,

and in the Snatch Game, your Joan was the right kind of mean.

Rita Baga, the smaller you got, the bigger we laughed.

Your vie en rose bloomed, and girl, we died.

Jimbo...

Con-drag-ulations.

LEMON: Yay! [applause]

STACEY: You are the winner of this week's challenge.

JIMBO: Oh, my God, thank you. Thank you, Joan.

[laughter]

STACEY: You have won a fabulous 7-day Caribbean cruise for two,

courtesy of Pitbull Events.

JIMBO: [wild laughter]

[cheering & applause]

JIMBO: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

JIMBO: I won, and I am so excited.

This is what I came here to do.

JIMBO: [Rivers] Oh my gawd, get it to-goddam-gether.

You're going on a fucking cruise!

Aah! Oh, my gawd!

STACEY: You may join the other girls.

JIMBO: Thank you again.

[applause & cheering]

STACEY: Rita Baga...

You are safe.

You may leave the stage.

STACEY: Lemon...

You are safe.

You may join the other girls.

STACEY: Kiara, all we wanted for Christmas was good snatch,

and on the runway, all you delivered was a pretty package.

Boa, as Gypsy Rose, you should have murdered.

But on the runway, where did you hide the body?

Priyanka, in the Snatch Game,

your medium sadly crossed over,

which means, Boa...

you're safe.

You may join the other girls.

BOA: Thank you.

BOA: Good luck, Kiara.

STACEY: Kiara, Priyanka, you're up for elimination.

♪

STACEY: Two queens stand before us.

Prior to tonight, you were asked to prepare

a lip synch performance of Celine Dion's

"I Drove All Night."

This is your last chance to impress us

and save yourself from elimination.

♪

MARY: The time has come, ladies,

for you to lip synch for your life.

♪

KIARA: If I want to stay in this competition,

I have to show that I'm more than just a pretty package,

and that I'm here for a reason, and it's to perform.

PRIYANKA: I'm up for elimination.

I knew this was gonna happen.

All I'm thinking, "Just perform the song and show the world

"why you make everybody say your name, Priyanka."

MARY: Good luck, and don't fuck it up, for fuck's sake.

♪

♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Wa-da-da-da ♪

♪ Oh yeah (oh yeah, oh yeah) ♪

♪ I had to escape ♪

♪ The city was sticky and cruel ♪

♪ Maybe I should have called you first ♪

♪ But I was dying to get to you ♪

♪ I was dreaming while I drove ♪

♪ The long straight road ahead ♪

♪ Uh-huh yeah ♪

♪ Could taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide ♪

♪ This fever for you was just burning me up inside ♪

♪

♪

♪ I drove all night to get to you ♪

♪

♪ Is that all right? ♪

♪ I drove all night, crept in your room ♪

♪

♪ Woke you from your sleep

to make love to you ♪

♪ Is that all right? ♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

♪ What in this world keeps us from falling apart? ♪

♪

♪ No matter where I go ♪

♪ I hear the beating of our one heart ♪

♪ I think about you when the night is cold and dark ♪

♪ Uh-huh Yeah ♪

♪ No one can move me the way that you do ♪

♪ Nothing erases this feeling between me and you ♪

♪

♪ I drove all night to get to you ♪

♪

♪ Is that all right? ♪

♪ I drove all night, crept in your room ♪

♪ Woke you from your sleep ♪

♪ To make love to you ♪

♪ Is that all right? ♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

♪

♪

♪ I taste your sweet kisses, your arms open wide ♪

♪ This fever for you was just burning me up inside ♪

♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

♪

♪

♪ I drove all night ♪

♪ To get to you ♪

JEFFREY: Yes!

[cheering & applause]

JEFFREY: Well done, ladies.

Well done.

[cheering & applause]

♪

♪

♪

STACEY: We have made our decision.

Priyanka...

Shantay, you stay.

[applause]

You may join the others.

♪

♪

STACEY: Kiara, we expected fierce.

We were surprised by your funny.

And now your future is unlimited.

Now, sashay away.

KIARA: Thank you so much, everybody.

JEFFREY: We love you, honey.

[applause] KIARA: Love you, guys.

BOA: Love you, Kiki!

QUEEN: Sissies for life, girl!

KIARA: Kiki want to be on all-stars, okay?

[laughter]

QUEEN: We love you!

KIARA: I'm proud of myself.

I think I could have done better, especially with Mariah.

If you're watching this, I'm sorry.

Drag is my life.

It's very important to me and, you know,

I don't feel like I would fit anywhere without drag.

I'm really proud to represent Montreal on this first season

of Canada's Drag Race.

Fuck, I didn't win!

But you knew that already. [chuckles]

♪

STACEY: Con-drag-ulations, everybody.

And remember, stay true north strong and fierce.

Now let the music play.

♪ You wear it well ♪

♪ Lipstick, lipstick painted on ♪

♪ You wear it well ♪

♪ That sure suits you-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Work it for me ♪ ♪ Work it for me, me ♪

♪ You wear it you wear it ♪

♪ You wear it well ♪

RUPAUL: Next time on Canada's Drag Race...

You'll be getting downright judicial

in your very own late-night law firm commercials.

STACEY: Action. [gasps]

LEMON: I've split my kitty!

SCARLETT & ILONA: [screaming]

ILONA: She literally whams me with a book.

JIMBO: It's my special day!

[laughter]

STACEY: You're very special.

There's something special about you.

JEFFREY: Welcome to the competition, honey.

BROOKE LYNN: I would like to hear from each and every one

of you which one of your sisters should go home tonight and why.

LEMON: I'm not here to make friends anymore.

TOM: I'm just happy to be here.

[laughter]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪