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1
00:02:05,379 --> 00:02:07,881
I need help!
2
00:02:07,981 --> 00:02:09,983
I'll go.
-Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
3
00:02:09,983 --> 00:02:12,165
Oh, don't worry, sweetheart.
Dad'll be right back.
4
00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:16,890
Daddy's not leaving, honey. He's just
helping your brother in the bathroom.
5
00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:18,871
It's okay.
Hey, look at that!
6
00:02:18,992 --> 00:02:21,104
What's going on?
7
00:02:21,161 --> 00:02:23,730
I'm trying to poop, but I can't.
8
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:26,268
Just relax, David.
Don't work so hard.
9
00:02:26,366 --> 00:02:29,870
But my stomach hurts.
I had to burp, but I need to poop.
10
00:02:29,870 --> 00:02:33,039
Well, sometimes if you just sit there,
a fart will just work its way out.
11
00:02:33,039 --> 00:02:35,742
Who said anything about a fart?
12
00:02:35,742 --> 00:02:37,889
Honey! The Terminix guy is finished.
13
00:02:37,911 --> 00:02:41,102
A fart's just as good as a burp, David,
sometimes even better.
14
00:02:42,615 --> 00:02:45,117
A fart, a burp or a poop.
15
00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:48,188
What am I talking about?
-Mr. Ronson ...
16
00:02:48,188 --> 00:02:50,857
you have a problem.
-Fantastic.
17
00:02:50,890 --> 00:02:53,807
Here it comes!
18
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:04,304
I gotta bring these galleys I proofed
into work today.
19
00:03:04,304 --> 00:03:06,321
Shouldn't your boss
be proofin' those?
20
00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:09,342
Yeah, she should, but she's behind
for maternity leave ...
21
00:03:09,342 --> 00:03:11,359
so I'm covering for her.
22
00:03:11,478 --> 00:03:15,014
So much for taking the job
so you can work on your book.
23
00:03:15,014 --> 00:03:19,352
Anyway, it would be great
if you could drive me.
24
00:03:19,352 --> 00:03:22,222
Oh, sweetie, I can't. Today is Monday.
-So?
25
00:03:22,222 --> 00:03:25,342
Well, alternate side is in effect,
so I gotta move the car.
26
00:03:27,461 --> 00:03:30,971
Into another parking spot?
-Yeah.
27
00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:36,002
You're not going to drive me because you have
to park the car on the other side of the street?
28
00:03:36,002 --> 00:03:38,778
Well, you're oversimplifying it now.
29
00:03:38,872 --> 00:03:42,275
How's that? You only use the car
when you need to drive it 10 feet ...
30
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:44,327
into a legal parking spot.
-If I'm lucky.
31
00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:46,613
That doesn't make any sense!
32
00:03:46,613 --> 00:03:49,839
Look, if we're not gonna use it,
will you just sell it?
33
00:03:49,916 --> 00:03:51,861
I like knowing it's there.
34
00:03:51,885 --> 00:03:54,687
Booyah! Bam! Bam!
35
00:03:54,687 --> 00:03:59,025
Mmm. Right. So if there's an emergency,
we always have a way out of Manhattan.
36
00:03:59,025 --> 00:04:02,462
Well, you laugh now,
but that thing is fully equipped.
37
00:04:02,462 --> 00:04:05,598
Tobey, you've got two bottles of water
in there and four PowerBars.
38
00:04:05,598 --> 00:04:07,579
How far is that gonna get us?
39
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:11,175
The car has special meaning to me.
Can you deal with that?
40
00:04:12,071 --> 00:04:14,218
Why?
41
00:04:15,942 --> 00:04:19,204
Look, if you must know ...
42
00:04:20,647 --> 00:04:24,989
the first time I saw you,
I was in that car.
43
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,372
Fine.
44
00:04:32,091 --> 00:04:34,072
I'll take a cab.
45
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:40,600
I gotta go.
-All right, baby.
46
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,032
Later.
-What, are you kiddin' me?
47
00:04:54,414 --> 00:04:58,452
Okay, so it sounds like
everything's goin' good.
48
00:04:58,452 --> 00:05:00,468
Yeah.
-Yeah.
49
00:05:04,924 --> 00:05:08,195
I mean, there's still
all the same old issues.
50
00:05:08,195 --> 00:05:11,979
What are those?
What are the same old issues?
51
00:05:12,031 --> 00:05:15,001
Well, you know, like no sex.
-Well, that's your issue.
52
00:05:15,001 --> 00:05:17,504
I'd say that's our issue.
-No. I'm just not ...
53
00:05:17,604 --> 00:05:19,539
a sex maniac like you are.
54
00:05:19,539 --> 00:05:21,591
I'm not a maniac.
I just like it.
55
00:05:21,608 --> 00:05:23,755
Twice a day.
56
00:05:23,877 --> 00:05:26,513
What is that look
supposed to mean?
57
00:05:26,513 --> 00:05:29,816
It's not like I'm saying I like to kill
baby squirrels. I like to have sex.
58
00:05:29,816 --> 00:05:31,999
Always from behind.
-Now, that is a lie.
59
00:05:32,119 --> 00:05:34,420
That's a lie.
-You know it is not, Tom.
60
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:37,223
You know, sometimes I would
just like to look at you.
61
00:05:37,223 --> 00:05:40,326
Maybe you'd have more luck if you did
something a little more romantic.
62
00:05:40,326 --> 00:05:43,630
The only way to approach you is from behind
because your back's always turned to me.
63
00:05:43,630 --> 00:05:48,535
I'm reading. I just like to have a minute to
myself without you pawing at me all day.
64
00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:51,655
Well, forgive me
if I want to touch my wife.
65
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:59,345
Here's what I think.
I think, if I may say ...
66
00:05:59,345 --> 00:06:04,730
we could get a lot more work done
if you'd come in more than once a year.
67
00:06:06,819 --> 00:06:09,144
Would you think about it?
68
00:06:09,156 --> 00:06:11,623
We'll think about it.
-Yeah.
69
00:06:11,724 --> 00:06:15,651
Would you- And, Tom ...
70
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:20,120
listen to Rebecca and don't-
don't paw at her.
71
00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:22,600
And just give her some space, okay?
72
00:06:22,602 --> 00:06:26,272
And Rebecca,
think about having sex with Tom.
73
00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:28,525
Possibly doggy style.
74
00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:32,190
Okay?
75
00:06:33,546 --> 00:06:36,349
And I have your cell numbers, right?
76
00:06:36,349 --> 00:06:38,402
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
77
00:06:41,387 --> 00:06:43,289
Therapy always makes me so horny.
78
00:06:43,289 --> 00:06:45,542
Did he actually say ''doggy style''?
79
00:06:45,558 --> 00:06:47,539
Yeah. I knew I liked that guy.
80
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,612
I gotta go.
-Mmm. No.
81
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:53,866
Tom, I have rehearsal.
Don't suck my face off.
82
00:06:53,866 --> 00:06:57,403
Did I tell you I had a dream last night
that you gave me a blow job?
83
00:06:57,403 --> 00:07:00,406
Yeah. I had a dream
that I gave you a German shepherd.
84
00:07:00,406 --> 00:07:03,377
Unhand me. And remember,
you're picking up David from school ...
85
00:07:03,377 --> 00:07:05,453
and we need milk.
86
00:07:05,578 --> 00:07:08,181
I know. It's my new life-
househusband.
87
00:07:08,181 --> 00:07:10,470
Hey, dude.
You asked for it.
88
00:07:12,719 --> 00:07:16,422
Yo, Miss Rollack.
Rebecca. Yo!
89
00:07:16,422 --> 00:07:18,853
Come on, Rebecca.
Just give us a couple of pictures!
90
00:07:59,866 --> 00:08:03,537
Yeah, you leavin'?
-You wish!
91
00:08:03,537 --> 00:08:06,977
Blow me, dickhead!
92
00:08:36,335 --> 00:08:38,604
Megan Sweetlander's office. Please hold.
93
00:08:38,604 --> 00:08:40,716
Megan Sweetlander's office. Please hold.
94
00:08:40,841 --> 00:08:43,473
Megan Sweetlander's office.
May I help you?
95
00:08:43,477 --> 00:08:45,344
Hey, it's me.
-Oh, God.
96
00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:48,464
I'm swamped here.
-Oh, just hang up on them all.
97
00:08:51,818 --> 00:08:53,799
I did it.
98
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,252
Oh, my God.
I was kidding!
99
00:08:56,355 --> 00:09:00,326
Jesus, that felt good.
-Hey, do you think I'm crazy?
100
00:09:00,326 --> 00:09:02,473
Not compared
to other actresses, no.
101
00:09:02,496 --> 00:09:05,164
How often do you
and my brother have sex?
102
00:09:05,164 --> 00:09:08,167
Satisfying sex or just sex?
103
00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:11,704
Oh, say no more.
-I try to, but he won't listen.
104
00:09:11,704 --> 00:09:13,364
Ha-ha.
105
00:09:13,407 --> 00:09:15,875
You know, we have good-
106
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:19,208
We have good sex.
Sometimes.
107
00:09:19,245 --> 00:09:21,676
Elaine!
-Um, I really gotta go.
108
00:09:21,714 --> 00:09:23,916
Do you ever worry
that Tobey'll cheat on you?
109
00:09:23,916 --> 00:09:26,652
Only with his therapist.
I'm hanging up.
110
00:09:26,652 --> 00:09:31,023
Uh, unfortunately, we do not accept
unsolicited manuscripts.
111
00:09:31,023 --> 00:09:33,276
You never have time for me any-
-Thank you.
112
00:09:33,359 --> 00:09:36,170
Elaine.
-Yes.
113
00:09:36,195 --> 00:09:39,732
''A curveball
is the speed of the air ...
114
00:09:39,732 --> 00:09:41,768
moving fast''
115
00:09:41,768 --> 00:09:44,937
Hey.
116
00:09:44,937 --> 00:09:47,507
Hey, I'm just reading your article
on wrist injuries in older pitchers.
117
00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:49,488
That's fascinating stuff.
118
00:09:49,609 --> 00:09:52,446
Yep. I really blew the lid off
carpal tunnel syndrome.
119
00:09:52,446 --> 00:09:54,380
Well, at least you have a job.
120
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:57,476
When Rebecca asked what I was doing
this morning, I said "the usual."
121
00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:00,953
You think she knew that meant
breakfast, jerk off, nap, late lunch?
122
00:10:00,953 --> 00:10:03,824
Yeah, well, maybe
I shouldn't have quit advertising.
123
00:10:03,824 --> 00:10:06,959
As I remember, you hated it,
felt empty and hollow ...
124
00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,212
worthless, void of meaning,
purposeless-
125
00:10:09,328 --> 00:10:11,063
Any of this ring a bell?
126
00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:13,981
It might be better than this.
I'm beginning to feel like a kept boy.
127
00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:16,536
Only I don't know what I'm being kept for.
-Sex?
128
00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:18,648
Sure, if you're up for it.
Rebecca's not.
129
00:10:18,771 --> 00:10:20,873
That's weird.
She slept with everyone in high school.
130
00:10:20,873 --> 00:10:23,409
And even when we do have sex ...
131
00:10:23,409 --> 00:10:26,042
it's-it's like
she's not adventurous anymore.
132
00:10:26,045 --> 00:10:28,026
Cottage cheese.
133
00:10:28,047 --> 00:10:33,052
It's like she used her sexual adventurousness
to lure me in, and she's just normal.
134
00:10:33,052 --> 00:10:36,088
She's just normal.
Mommy's just normal!
135
00:10:36,088 --> 00:10:39,058
I guess you hoped it'd be more like
marrying a hooker, huh?
136
00:10:39,058 --> 00:10:41,525
Yeah. Except without
the payment though.
137
00:10:41,627 --> 00:10:45,565
Speaking of that, do you have another
word for fish lover? -Hold on a second.
138
00:10:45,565 --> 00:10:48,163
Excuse me, sir.
Can we cut in front of you?
139
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:50,243
We gotta get home for our nap.
140
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,321
We gotta rush.
We're in a rush.
141
00:10:52,338 --> 00:10:55,458
Um... aficionado?
142
00:11:03,449 --> 00:11:05,916
Do you take milk?
-Oh. I do ...
143
00:11:05,985 --> 00:11:08,588
but I like to pour it myself.
144
00:11:08,588 --> 00:11:10,700
Oh, yeah.
145
00:11:12,225 --> 00:11:14,795
I just wanted to say
I think you're awesome ...
146
00:11:14,795 --> 00:11:18,234
and I feel incredible ...
147
00:11:18,297 --> 00:11:20,434
to be able to, you know ...
148
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:23,388
share the stage with you,
Miss Pollack.
149
00:11:23,469 --> 00:11:25,539
Rebecca.
What was your name again?
150
00:11:25,539 --> 00:11:27,555
Jasper.
151
00:11:27,573 --> 00:11:30,444
I had a puppy named Jasper.
-Hi.
152
00:11:30,444 --> 00:11:33,219
That's funny,
because my last name is Bernard.
153
00:11:35,214 --> 00:11:37,231
Like Saint Bernard.
-Right.
154
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,326
Like the dog.
155
00:11:39,352 --> 00:11:41,405
Right.
-Yeah.
156
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:43,745
Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
157
00:11:43,856 --> 00:11:46,692
Mmm. Oh!
158
00:11:46,692 --> 00:11:49,053
Careful.
159
00:11:49,061 --> 00:11:50,563
My dear.
160
00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:52,994
Do you have a moment?
-Oh, yeah.
161
00:11:53,065 --> 00:11:56,769
I know you turned down a film to do this role,
and I do appreciate that.
162
00:11:56,769 --> 00:11:59,366
I do, however,
feel the need to remind you ...
163
00:11:59,372 --> 00:12:01,908
that this is a play, not a film ...
164
00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:06,012
and it will require some projection.
165
00:12:06,012 --> 00:12:10,117
It was just a table read.
-No defenses, okay?
166
00:12:10,117 --> 00:12:12,442
Oh, Jasper!
167
00:12:16,055 --> 00:12:18,557
Dad, I can't reach it. Help me.
168
00:12:18,624 --> 00:12:20,693
Oh, you're close.
169
00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:22,946
Reach.
170
00:12:23,062 --> 00:12:25,965
Hey, Mom, I wanna
take home mine too.
171
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:28,183
Okay. Go ahead.
172
00:12:30,803 --> 00:12:32,784
You know you're breaking the rules.
173
00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:34,786
What do you mean?
174
00:12:34,807 --> 00:12:37,547
That stuff's not supposed to go home
till the end of the year.
175
00:12:37,643 --> 00:12:40,880
Well, David
told me he needed-he needed it.
176
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,940
Yeah? You also give him
chocolate for dinner, right?
177
00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:47,802
What are you,
the room monitor or something?
178
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,557
No. It's refreshing
to see someone breaking the rules.
179
00:12:51,557 --> 00:12:54,546
You're a rebel.
-Mom, help me!
180
00:12:54,627 --> 00:12:57,229
Okay. Here we go.
I'll help you too, David ...
181
00:12:57,229 --> 00:13:00,766
Thank you.
-'cause your dad would leave you standing here all day.
182
00:13:00,766 --> 00:13:02,913
Wow, you're strong!
-Thank you.
183
00:13:06,105 --> 00:13:10,376
If you tell, I'll say you did it,
and they'll believe me.
184
00:13:11,944 --> 00:13:13,996
Come on.
185
00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:19,130
Come back soon.
Thank you.
186
00:13:20,219 --> 00:13:22,615
So how come only once a year?
187
00:13:22,621 --> 00:13:26,093
Well, you don't want to dissect it too much.
It's like a tune-up.
188
00:13:26,093 --> 00:13:28,361
If you go regularly,
you just become one of those couples ...
189
00:13:28,361 --> 00:13:32,039
that disappears
up their own assholes, you know?
190
00:13:32,099 --> 00:13:34,767
As my father used to say.
191
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:38,100
Thank you for that image
while I'm eating a whole fish.
192
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:40,107
I don't think fish have assholes.
193
00:13:40,107 --> 00:13:43,748
Boys. No more use of that word
while there's food on the table.
194
00:13:43,776 --> 00:13:45,746
Yeah. They got us.
195
00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:47,822
How's the play going?
-It's all right.
196
00:13:47,848 --> 00:13:50,208
The director's sort of
a pretentious moron.
197
00:13:50,282 --> 00:13:52,264
That's a drag.
-Hi, Roberto.
198
00:13:52,318 --> 00:13:54,520
Ciao, Miss Pollack.
199
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,916
And this has got to be ...
-Asshole.
200
00:13:56,922 --> 00:13:59,625
my last carbohydrate-heavy
meal for a very long time.
201
00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:02,543
Are you kidding?
You look great.
202
00:14:02,628 --> 00:14:04,597
How's the book?
203
00:14:04,597 --> 00:14:06,850
I think I'm done.
204
00:14:06,966 --> 00:14:10,836
Wow!
I'm gonna start sending it out to agents.
205
00:14:10,836 --> 00:14:13,232
Yowsa.
-What?
206
00:14:13,239 --> 00:14:15,574
I don't know what makes me think
I know anything about kids.
207
00:14:15,574 --> 00:14:17,591
No, it's a terrific idea.
-Oh, my God.
208
00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:19,686
That's Faith Faison.
-That's Faith Faison?
209
00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:22,552
He already wants to know
when they're making it into a movie.
210
00:14:26,252 --> 00:14:28,454
She sees you.
-What are you doing?
211
00:14:28,454 --> 00:14:30,435
Sometimes you get-
212
00:14:30,456 --> 00:14:32,817
Tasting the wine.
-something caught in your mouth.
213
00:14:34,326 --> 00:14:36,395
Tobey!
214
00:14:36,395 --> 00:14:40,144
Faith, wow!
-My God!
215
00:14:40,199 --> 00:14:42,002
How are you?
216
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:45,271
Oh, my God! I can't believe you're here!
217
00:14:45,271 --> 00:14:47,252
Geez! Whoa!
218
00:14:47,273 --> 00:14:50,811
Well, no, I always come here. You're not
gonna find better Northern Italian food ...
219
00:14:50,811 --> 00:14:53,313
anywhere in the city.
220
00:14:53,412 --> 00:14:56,115
That's my husband.
-What?
221
00:14:56,115 --> 00:15:00,586
Oh! Well, that's my girlfriend. Of seven years.
222
00:15:00,586 --> 00:15:02,567
Oh!
-Elaine.
223
00:15:02,688 --> 00:15:04,490
Hi.
-Hi. It's nice to meet you.
224
00:15:04,490 --> 00:15:06,471
Congratulations on getting married.
-Oh, thank you.
225
00:15:06,492 --> 00:15:08,544
Are you guys gonna?
226
00:15:08,727 --> 00:15:10,387
What?
227
00:15:11,297 --> 00:15:13,499
We're married.
And it's overrated.
228
00:15:13,499 --> 00:15:16,310
What?
-Uh-oh!
229
00:15:16,402 --> 00:15:19,872
Hi-oh!
-I'd better go.
230
00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:22,174
So great to see you.
-Yeah.
231
00:15:22,174 --> 00:15:25,721
Yeah.
-Oh, Jesus Christ.
232
00:15:25,778 --> 00:15:29,381
And I hope you don't mind me saying,
but I love your work.
233
00:15:29,381 --> 00:15:31,363
Thank you very much.
234
00:15:31,383 --> 00:15:33,652
You hate that, don't you?
235
00:15:33,652 --> 00:15:35,634
Bye-bye.
236
00:15:39,658 --> 00:15:42,612
So, who was that chick?
237
00:15:43,796 --> 00:15:45,777
Who?
238
00:15:45,798 --> 00:15:49,468
Tobey!
You are the worst.
239
00:15:49,468 --> 00:15:52,938
What, Faith? I don't know.
Knew her in college.
240
00:15:52,938 --> 00:15:55,571
She an old girlfriend?
-No.
241
00:15:57,042 --> 00:15:59,675
She's pretty.
-Yeah. You see her boyfriend?
242
00:15:59,678 --> 00:16:01,790
I mean, do you have to
work out every day?
243
00:16:01,814 --> 00:16:05,851
Did you know, by the way,
that muscle sinks faster in the pool?
244
00:16:05,851 --> 00:16:07,998
He's her husband, actually.
245
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:11,223
Oh. Seems a little young
for that, doesn't she?
246
00:16:11,223 --> 00:16:15,162
You're the only one who thinks
you have to be 40 to get married.
247
00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:19,298
She probably wanted to do it
before she was completely barren.
248
00:16:19,298 --> 00:16:23,836
Oh! That reminds me.
I taped the, uh, documentary for you ...
249
00:16:23,836 --> 00:16:25,853
on the Serengeti.
250
00:16:25,871 --> 00:16:28,974
Tobey! I said Ferlinghetti.
251
00:16:28,974 --> 00:16:31,644
It was for work.
252
00:16:33,913 --> 00:16:35,929
Oh.
253
00:16:35,948 --> 00:16:38,545
Well, hey, come on.
Serengeti's cool. Right?
254
00:16:38,551 --> 00:16:41,397
Yeah. It's great.
255
00:16:50,563 --> 00:16:52,923
See? I'm fun.
256
00:16:52,932 --> 00:16:57,403
Mmm. Who knew
lobster cannelloni was an aphrodisiac?
257
00:16:57,403 --> 00:16:59,455
Is that what this is?
258
00:16:59,472 --> 00:17:02,408
No. It's lobster Ponson.
259
00:17:02,408 --> 00:17:06,612
You pay Maria when we get home
and then meet me in the bedroom.
260
00:17:06,612 --> 00:17:08,664
Like for sex?
261
00:17:09,782 --> 00:17:12,107
Don't ruin it.
262
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,099
Thank you so much.
-Thank you.
263
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,136
The kids were great.
-The kids love you.
264
00:17:16,155 --> 00:17:18,966
David drew a big picture of baboon-
-That's great.
265
00:17:19,024 --> 00:17:21,026
and the little girl.
266
00:17:21,026 --> 00:17:23,078
You get home safe.
-Thank you very much.
267
00:17:23,095 --> 00:17:25,147
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
268
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,159
I, uh-
269
00:17:39,178 --> 00:17:41,254
I have to go to the bathroom.
270
00:17:42,848 --> 00:17:44,829
I'm gonna get a drink.
271
00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:13,018
What the hell? Huh?
272
00:19:13,038 --> 00:19:16,158
Oh!
273
00:19:23,649 --> 00:19:26,251
It was my last night of carbs ...
274
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:28,991
and I wanted
to take advantage of it.
275
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:35,194
You know, sometimes it's those
near-death experiences ...
276
00:19:35,194 --> 00:19:38,669
that make us wanna
participate in life that much more.
277
00:19:40,699 --> 00:19:43,795
I can still kinda
taste the throw up.
278
00:19:45,671 --> 00:19:47,747
Good.
279
00:19:52,144 --> 00:19:54,547
Whoa, whoa! Oh!
280
00:19:54,547 --> 00:19:57,416
Bouncy, bouncy.
Bouncy, bouncy.
281
00:19:57,416 --> 00:20:01,165
Just one more thing,
then we're gonna go home, okay?
282
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,221
Is that it?
-Let me get one of those.
283
00:20:12,098 --> 00:20:14,079
This one?
-No, no, no.
284
00:20:14,166 --> 00:20:17,035
Three down from
Sports World and one to the left.
285
00:20:17,035 --> 00:20:19,016
Uh ... this one?
286
00:20:19,037 --> 00:20:22,741
No, no. Your other left.
Diag-Diagonal from there.
287
00:20:22,741 --> 00:20:24,924
Shaved?
288
00:20:26,044 --> 00:20:30,516
Ah, good one.
That's 3.15.
289
00:20:30,516 --> 00:20:32,948
Here. Candy for the baby.
290
00:20:32,951 --> 00:20:36,556
Good man.
-And the candy, one dollar.
291
00:20:39,691 --> 00:20:42,537
No, I-I don't wanna be too hard on him.
292
00:20:42,628 --> 00:20:45,664
It's just that I feel like he's not directed,
and that makes him unhappy.
293
00:20:45,664 --> 00:20:48,501
And the more unhappy he gets,
the more desperate he gets.
294
00:20:48,501 --> 00:20:51,670
And the more desperate he gets,
the less I wanna have sex with him.
295
00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:55,508
Oh. For Tobey,
desperation is foreplay.
296
00:20:55,508 --> 00:20:58,010
You know, I should probably be ...
297
00:20:58,010 --> 00:21:00,192
more attentive.
298
00:21:00,312 --> 00:21:02,214
Or at least permissive.
299
00:21:02,214 --> 00:21:04,784
Do you ever wonder
what your life would be like ...
300
00:21:04,784 --> 00:21:06,800
if you'd chosen someone different?
301
00:21:06,819 --> 00:21:09,621
Like, okay, I was on the train
the other day.
302
00:21:09,621 --> 00:21:11,637
This guy was sitting across from me.
303
00:21:11,757 --> 00:21:15,828
He was wearing
this big, cozy Vermonty sweater.
304
00:21:15,828 --> 00:21:18,295
Just seemed ...
305
00:21:18,297 --> 00:21:21,400
old-fashioned ...
306
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:25,604
like he probably had tons of kids
who climb all over him at bedtime.
307
00:21:25,604 --> 00:21:27,621
They go sledding in the winter.
308
00:21:27,739 --> 00:21:30,976
Pick flowers in the spring.
Kill deer in the fall.
309
00:21:30,976 --> 00:21:36,777
No. I just did not expect to want
to have a baby this soon.
310
00:21:37,649 --> 00:21:39,593
A baby?
311
00:21:40,652 --> 00:21:42,633
Oh, I don't know.
312
00:21:42,654 --> 00:21:45,591
All of a sudden it just ...
313
00:21:45,591 --> 00:21:48,023
feels right.
314
00:21:48,126 --> 00:21:50,028
Honey, you're so young, you know?
315
00:21:50,028 --> 00:21:53,218
And Tobey, he's just like a teenager
with a checking account.
316
00:21:53,298 --> 00:21:57,769
Excuse me. These are from
the young man over in the corner.
317
00:21:57,769 --> 00:22:02,917
He wanted you to know
that you are, like ... awesome?
318
00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:06,591
Who is that?
-See ya at rehearsal.
319
00:22:06,678 --> 00:22:08,789
I'll tell ya later.
320
00:22:11,383 --> 00:22:14,301
That was kinda fun.
-Yeah.
321
00:22:14,319 --> 00:22:16,821
Maybe I should become
a first grade teacher.
322
00:22:16,822 --> 00:22:20,226
Who was that mother
you were talking to?
323
00:22:20,226 --> 00:22:22,278
Who?
324
00:22:23,662 --> 00:22:27,332
Oh, that-that's, uh,
that's Shannon's mom, you know?
325
00:22:27,332 --> 00:22:29,479
She's a divorcée, right?
326
00:22:29,535 --> 00:22:32,604
I don't think
anybody's used that term ...
327
00:22:32,604 --> 00:22:34,892
since, like, 1954.
328
00:22:34,907 --> 00:22:37,054
She's pretty.
329
00:22:37,075 --> 00:22:39,471
I guess.
330
00:22:41,914 --> 00:22:45,817
You know, uh, you do kinda owe me.
331
00:22:45,817 --> 00:22:48,687
I owe you?
-And I know you're tired.
332
00:22:48,687 --> 00:22:53,065
But I have a way where you don't have to
exert any energy at all.
333
00:22:56,529 --> 00:22:58,605
Do you have to wear your retainer?
334
00:22:58,664 --> 00:23:02,033
If that's one of your tapes,
you can forget it.
335
00:23:14,846 --> 00:23:16,993
Okay.
336
00:23:17,082 --> 00:23:19,064
Here's how it's gonna go down.
337
00:23:19,085 --> 00:23:21,066
I'm gonna close my eyes ...
338
00:23:21,087 --> 00:23:23,589
and you have to tell me
everything that's happening on TV.
339
00:23:23,589 --> 00:23:25,657
No way in hell I'm gonna do that.
340
00:23:25,657 --> 00:23:28,961
It's either that or actual sex.
You make the call.
341
00:23:28,961 --> 00:23:31,214
This is erotic for you?
342
00:23:35,101 --> 00:23:37,103
Okay-
-Oh. No, no, no.
343
00:23:37,103 --> 00:23:40,706
Okay. There's some kind
of a credit sequence happening.
344
00:23:40,706 --> 00:23:44,242
Just, uh-it's very simple.
Black on white titles.
345
00:23:44,242 --> 00:23:46,911
Okay, Scorsese.
Save your breath for the good stuff.
346
00:23:46,912 --> 00:23:51,450
Now there's some people
in the worst set design I have ever seen.
347
00:23:51,450 --> 00:23:54,641
Come on.
-Okay. Um-
348
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,756
Okay, no, here they go.
Here they go.
349
00:23:56,756 --> 00:23:59,791
Wow. Um-yeah, pants are off.
-Mm-hmm.
350
00:23:59,791 --> 00:24:02,628
Dress is off. Penis is hard.
They're starting.
351
00:24:02,628 --> 00:24:05,397
A little less like a list, please.
352
00:24:05,397 --> 00:24:07,686
Oh, Jesus.
-What?
353
00:24:07,699 --> 00:24:10,702
This guy's dick is green
and kind of crooked.
354
00:24:10,702 --> 00:24:13,538
It's, like, twice the size of yours!
355
00:24:13,538 --> 00:24:16,836
Another, um-another woman's coming in.
-Yeah?
356
00:24:16,908 --> 00:24:18,844
She is Chinese.
-Nice.
357
00:24:18,844 --> 00:24:20,469
No. No.
-No?
358
00:24:20,513 --> 00:24:22,494
Uh, Filipino.
-Okay.
359
00:24:22,614 --> 00:24:27,219
She's hiking up her uniform.
And that is a terrible wax that she has.
360
00:24:27,219 --> 00:24:29,295
It's all irritated.
361
00:24:29,422 --> 00:24:32,090
And-Geez,
what would you call that? Um ...
362
00:24:32,090 --> 00:24:34,759
I guess it's a piercing.
363
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,862
I really don't know
how to describe it accurately ...
364
00:24:36,862 --> 00:24:39,151
but whatever it is,
it's flaring the lens.
365
00:24:47,939 --> 00:24:51,201
Ho, ho, ho. Cookie, sir?
-No, thank you.
366
00:24:51,276 --> 00:24:53,849
Christmas cookie. Go on, take one.
-Get away from me!
367
00:25:10,328 --> 00:25:12,731
Well, the most important thing ...
368
00:25:12,731 --> 00:25:14,733
is to remain calm.
369
00:25:14,733 --> 00:25:17,307
Honey. Honey.
Calm down.
370
00:25:18,737 --> 00:25:21,740
Let's just start again.
Take the cable remote.
371
00:25:21,740 --> 00:25:23,809
The one that says cable.
That's right.
372
00:25:23,809 --> 00:25:26,727
Hit the power button.
What do you see?
373
00:25:26,745 --> 00:25:29,815
Okay. Well, you probably
just changed the channel on the TV.
374
00:25:29,815 --> 00:25:33,778
So get the TV remote.
Not cable, but TV.
375
00:25:35,121 --> 00:25:37,267
That's right. Hit three.
376
00:25:40,192 --> 00:25:42,244
Nope. That's impossible.
377
00:25:44,230 --> 00:25:46,798
Is the TV plugged in?
378
00:25:46,798 --> 00:25:51,317
I would like to have
electronic freedom. Um-
379
00:25:51,336 --> 00:25:56,306
You must have a VCR and a cable box.
380
00:25:57,375 --> 00:26:00,312
Does ... your wife ...
381
00:26:00,312 --> 00:26:03,432
have this much trouble?
382
00:26:03,516 --> 00:26:06,184
Let's not go there again,
shall we, Tobey?
383
00:26:06,184 --> 00:26:09,862
Why is it so important for you to know
about my personal life? Hmm?
384
00:26:09,921 --> 00:26:12,958
Let's keep this about you.
385
00:26:12,958 --> 00:26:17,514
Um ... you haven't
mentioned death today.
386
00:26:17,530 --> 00:26:19,998
There-There is a phrase ...
387
00:26:19,998 --> 00:26:25,137
that you've uttered in, um, yes,
in every session, mm-hmm, so far.
388
00:26:25,137 --> 00:26:29,407
''I mean, we're all going to die.
389
00:26:29,407 --> 00:26:32,183
Doesn't that freak you out?''
390
00:26:34,513 --> 00:26:36,494
And you never answer me.
391
00:26:36,515 --> 00:26:40,051
Actually, it does seem to me ...
392
00:26:40,051 --> 00:26:44,756
that this whole kind of
television-TiVo tangent thing ...
393
00:26:44,756 --> 00:26:46,559
is really an elaborate avoidance ...
394
00:26:46,591 --> 00:26:48,987
for what's really going on.
395
00:26:51,429 --> 00:26:53,861
Oh.
396
00:26:53,932 --> 00:26:56,470
And ... what's really going on?
397
00:26:58,471 --> 00:27:00,523
You tell me.
398
00:27:02,007 --> 00:27:04,976
Come on, baby! Come on, baby!
399
00:27:04,976 --> 00:27:08,274
Oh! Oh, my God!
400
00:27:15,488 --> 00:27:17,469
That was-
401
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:20,122
That was good.
402
00:27:22,128 --> 00:27:25,430
I mean, the candles and the whole ...
403
00:27:25,430 --> 00:27:27,826
lighting design in general.
404
00:27:27,833 --> 00:27:30,823
Thank you.
-That was some setup.
405
00:27:32,170 --> 00:27:34,151
Yeah.
-You-
406
00:27:34,172 --> 00:27:38,620
You were like, um,
that guy from the Yankees.
407
00:27:40,645 --> 00:27:45,250
That one. That, um-that pitcher
that they bring in at the end.
408
00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:47,538
Mariano Rivera, the closer?
-Yeah.
409
00:27:47,552 --> 00:27:50,125
Huh. Huh. Heh.
410
00:27:50,156 --> 00:27:52,457
He always looks so confident ...
411
00:27:52,457 --> 00:27:54,782
like he's gonna do
whatever it takes.
412
00:27:54,794 --> 00:27:57,362
You know, he almost never
loses a game.
413
00:27:57,362 --> 00:28:00,565
I bet he's got a really big family.
414
00:28:00,565 --> 00:28:03,067
No.
-Oh, I love ...
415
00:28:03,068 --> 00:28:07,197
those big Spanish families,
you know?
416
00:28:07,205 --> 00:28:11,142
You know, they've got lots
and lots of kids.
417
00:28:11,142 --> 00:28:14,646
Well, they're Catholic.
They're not allowed to use birth control.
418
00:28:14,646 --> 00:28:16,828
That's not what I'm talking about.
419
00:28:16,848 --> 00:28:19,951
I'm talking about ...
420
00:28:19,951 --> 00:28:23,629
valuing cultural reproduction.
421
00:28:25,590 --> 00:28:28,627
Well, maybe if they
valued cultural reproduction a little less ...
422
00:28:28,627 --> 00:28:32,397
we wouldn't be in the middle
of a population explosion ...
423
00:28:32,397 --> 00:28:36,469
that's running the risk
of using up all our natural resources.
424
00:28:36,469 --> 00:28:38,757
I know you don't think that.
425
00:28:41,439 --> 00:28:43,657
I do?
426
00:28:49,514 --> 00:28:51,767
Do you believe in fate?
427
00:28:51,883 --> 00:28:56,521
I'm not talking about the fact
that we're all fated to death ...
428
00:28:56,521 --> 00:28:59,457
but the fact that there are some things
that are meant to happen ...
429
00:28:59,457 --> 00:29:02,694
and some things
that are not meant to happen.
430
00:29:02,694 --> 00:29:05,790
I have ... no idea.
431
00:29:06,766 --> 00:29:08,747
You don't, do you?
432
00:29:18,977 --> 00:29:22,832
Ponson, Ponson, Ponson,
Hirsch, Jacoby & Ponson.
433
00:29:22,882 --> 00:29:26,384
What's another kind of flower
you can get a woman other than a rose?
434
00:29:26,384 --> 00:29:28,496
What about an orchid?
-You kidding?
435
00:29:28,521 --> 00:29:32,554
That's even more expensive.
-Well, it must be an important occasion.
436
00:29:32,590 --> 00:29:36,061
Just trying not to get
kicked out of my house.
437
00:29:36,061 --> 00:29:39,064
You could go down to Central Park
and pull up something for free.
438
00:29:39,064 --> 00:29:42,670
That's not a bad idea.
But I'd have to wrap it myself.
439
00:29:42,734 --> 00:29:45,403
Elaine is not going to
kick you out of the house.
440
00:29:45,403 --> 00:29:48,273
She mentioned fate.
-Uh-oh.
441
00:29:48,273 --> 00:29:50,208
I'd spring for the orchid.
442
00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:52,117
What kind of porn you looking at?
443
00:29:52,243 --> 00:29:54,713
Good old-fashioned
man-woman, woman-horse stuff.
444
00:29:54,713 --> 00:29:56,695
You're such a purist.
-I am.
445
00:29:56,715 --> 00:29:59,740
I thought you were supposed to become
less horny when you turned 40.
446
00:29:59,819 --> 00:30:02,455
What?
-You can't give a woman berries, can you?
447
00:30:02,455 --> 00:30:05,323
Oh, I've taken a wrong turn somewhere.
-Ooh, I've gotta go.
448
00:30:05,323 --> 00:30:08,763
I think I found
the flowers I want. Hi-oh!
449
00:30:08,828 --> 00:30:10,809
Hello?
-What kinda sale we talkin' about?
450
00:30:13,865 --> 00:30:16,498
How did I get in here?
451
00:30:16,601 --> 00:30:18,603
I'm gonna throw it to you next.
452
00:30:18,603 --> 00:30:21,200
Good throw.
-Me! Me! Mr. Ponson!
453
00:30:21,207 --> 00:30:24,943
Mr. Ronson, throw it to me!
Throw it to me!
454
00:30:24,943 --> 00:30:26,924
Hold on.
455
00:30:26,978 --> 00:30:28,980
I'm gonna throw one to Liam.
456
00:30:28,980 --> 00:30:31,032
That was like fishing.
-Hey.
457
00:30:33,151 --> 00:30:35,167
The rebel without a cause.
458
00:30:35,286 --> 00:30:37,822
Hey.
-Sorry, Mr. Ronson.
459
00:30:37,822 --> 00:30:41,262
Nice catch.
-Hi.
460
00:30:41,326 --> 00:30:44,497
Uh, listen. The kids and I,
we're going up to Serendipity ...
461
00:30:44,497 --> 00:30:47,632
to celebrate the anniversary
of their father leaving us.
462
00:30:47,632 --> 00:30:50,136
Hi, Mommy.
-Hi, honey.
463
00:30:50,136 --> 00:30:53,397
Do you guys wanna come along?
464
00:30:55,473 --> 00:30:59,145
Wait. So you wrote that?
-Uh-huh.
465
00:30:59,145 --> 00:31:01,221
I love that commercial.
-Well-
466
00:31:01,346 --> 00:31:04,916
''Got milk?'' God, it just cuts
through all the bullshit.
467
00:31:04,916 --> 00:31:06,992
It's-It's inspired.
468
00:31:08,421 --> 00:31:11,489
Well, I wouldn't say it's inspired.
It's just simple.
469
00:31:11,489 --> 00:31:14,492
So what did you do, like take time off
to write a book or something?
470
00:31:14,492 --> 00:31:17,826
Uh, no. Not exactly.
471
00:31:17,897 --> 00:31:21,266
I've thought about that, but-
-Oh, you should. You'd be great.
472
00:31:21,266 --> 00:31:23,662
Really. I have a sense
about these things.
473
00:31:23,668 --> 00:31:25,685
Here.
474
00:31:27,772 --> 00:31:30,475
Yep.
475
00:31:30,475 --> 00:31:34,508
Author. Definitely.
476
00:31:34,547 --> 00:31:36,648
You see that there?
477
00:31:36,648 --> 00:31:38,629
Yeah, I do.
478
00:31:38,750 --> 00:31:42,787
''Surrounded by friends,
she was happy and snug.
479
00:31:42,787 --> 00:31:45,005
''She smiled to herself and said ...
480
00:31:45,023 --> 00:31:49,694
'Maybe life in the big
city isn't that bad after all. '
481
00:31:49,694 --> 00:31:52,098
The end. ''
482
00:31:55,468 --> 00:31:59,804
It would be crazy
not to publish this immediately.
483
00:31:59,804 --> 00:32:02,093
It's very timely.
484
00:32:02,208 --> 00:32:05,054
It's about a little girl
battling a dragon.
485
00:32:06,077 --> 00:32:08,330
Right, but with
women's lib and all-
486
00:32:08,346 --> 00:32:10,671
You see my point.
487
00:32:13,017 --> 00:32:16,387
Oh, my God!
I hope they like it!
488
00:32:16,387 --> 00:32:18,499
They're gonna love it.
489
00:32:20,692 --> 00:32:24,297
There's one thing.
-Oh, Tobey, come on. The book is finished.
490
00:32:24,395 --> 00:32:27,565
Please, I ca-I can't make
any more changes in it.
491
00:32:27,565 --> 00:32:31,076
Hey, it's not about
the content of the book, okay?
492
00:32:32,203 --> 00:32:34,315
It's about the presentation.
493
00:32:34,339 --> 00:32:36,391
Okay.
-Okay?
494
00:32:37,842 --> 00:32:39,954
Okay.
-This picture?
495
00:32:41,147 --> 00:32:43,364
Just seems so goody-good.
496
00:32:46,584 --> 00:32:50,156
Well, it is a children's book.
-Right. I know that.
497
00:32:50,156 --> 00:32:53,091
But the people
who publish it aren't children.
498
00:32:53,091 --> 00:32:55,293
This is, you know, just-
499
00:32:55,293 --> 00:32:58,696
it's just slightly annoying,
you know?
500
00:32:58,696 --> 00:33:00,748
Show some cleavage.
501
00:33:00,765 --> 00:33:04,904
You actually think
I should show... cleavage?
502
00:33:04,904 --> 00:33:07,300
Mmm. Yes, I d-
503
00:33:10,508 --> 00:33:12,726
That's what I'm talkin' about.
504
00:33:12,844 --> 00:33:16,681
Are you crazy?
-What? Kids, they love the beach.
505
00:33:16,681 --> 00:33:19,484
And this shows them that you're fun.
506
00:33:19,484 --> 00:33:21,631
Don't underestimate that.
507
00:33:21,686 --> 00:33:23,798
Wait a second.
508
00:33:27,725 --> 00:33:32,209
You don't-
You don't think it's a little ...
509
00:33:32,230 --> 00:33:34,211
too much?
510
00:33:34,232 --> 00:33:36,829
I wanna pay attention to that girl.
511
00:33:39,370 --> 00:33:41,306
Standing at 3 foot 7...
512
00:33:41,306 --> 00:33:43,702
weighing in at 47 pounds
of strapping lefty ...
513
00:33:43,708 --> 00:33:45,944
digs in.
514
00:33:45,944 --> 00:33:49,870
Got a hold of that!
-That's a home run!
515
00:33:49,914 --> 00:33:51,950
Yep. Touch 'em all.
-Hello!
516
00:33:51,950 --> 00:33:54,761
What's goin' on?
517
00:33:54,853 --> 00:33:57,322
Just a little thing
that we like to call spoonball!
518
00:33:57,322 --> 00:33:59,991
Oh. Okay.
Well, Mommy's home.
519
00:33:59,991 --> 00:34:02,660
Spoonball is over
before someone gets hurt.
520
00:34:02,660 --> 00:34:05,234
Aw, come on, Mom.
521
00:34:05,330 --> 00:34:08,399
Yeah, come on, Mom.
It's the bottom of the ninth!
522
00:34:08,399 --> 00:34:10,381
We should be having boy time ...
523
00:34:10,401 --> 00:34:13,071
because my dad
made me have girl time.
524
00:34:13,071 --> 00:34:16,307
What do you mean, honey?
-Dad made me have a play date ...
525
00:34:16,307 --> 00:34:20,506
with Shannon from my class.
-Really?
526
00:34:20,545 --> 00:34:23,414
Nobody made you do anything, David.
527
00:34:23,414 --> 00:34:25,817
They invited us to Serendipity.
-Oh, really? They?
528
00:34:25,817 --> 00:34:29,565
Come on, Dad. Ritch it!
-Yep. Okay.
529
00:34:32,357 --> 00:34:34,433
Ow! Oh!
530
00:34:34,459 --> 00:34:37,061
Ah-ah.
-Oh, my-Tom!
531
00:34:37,061 --> 00:34:39,279
Goddamn it!
-I-I-Let me see.
532
00:34:43,334 --> 00:34:45,351
Dude, you only get one.
533
00:34:45,370 --> 00:34:48,573
This is a complicated one.
I gotta get the wording right.
534
00:34:48,573 --> 00:34:50,684
Got it.
535
00:34:50,708 --> 00:34:52,997
Yea.
-Yea. I gotta hit the head.
536
00:34:57,015 --> 00:34:59,969
So? -Please don't ask her anything
inappropriate in front of me.
537
00:34:59,984 --> 00:35:02,001
I can ask her whatever I want.
538
00:35:02,086 --> 00:35:05,190
For such a closed-off person,
it's like you have no boundaries.
539
00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:08,293
It's better than living surrounded
by the Great Wall of China.
540
00:35:08,293 --> 00:35:10,309
What does that mean?
541
00:35:10,328 --> 00:35:13,231
You-You know what that means?
-Mm-hmm.
542
00:35:13,231 --> 00:35:16,529
It means you're closed off.
-Like a Chinese person?
543
00:35:16,601 --> 00:35:19,637
No, Tom. It means you like to talk,
but about nothing important ...
544
00:35:19,637 --> 00:35:23,564
so then whenever your emotion or resentment
or whatever dark stuff you have builds up ...
545
00:35:23,608 --> 00:35:26,311
you throw a spoon at me.
-I didn't throw the spoon.
546
00:35:26,311 --> 00:35:32,083
- David threw the spoon.
- Shut up. We only have a minute
to talk before he gets back.
547
00:35:32,083 --> 00:35:34,619
So, um, anything come up?
548
00:35:34,619 --> 00:35:36,837
Did he say anything at all?
549
00:35:36,855 --> 00:35:38,790
No. He's been really busy.
-Busy? Tobey, busy?
550
00:35:38,790 --> 00:35:41,151
Stay out of it.
551
00:35:41,259 --> 00:35:45,263
It's fine! It's just our lifestyle
these days.
552
00:35:45,263 --> 00:35:47,659
I mean, it's not just our lifestyle.
553
00:35:47,665 --> 00:35:50,435
It's our whole society's
lifestyle, you know?
554
00:35:50,435 --> 00:35:53,211
I mean, there are
a lot of people who are ...
555
00:35:53,304 --> 00:35:56,941
tethered by an old-fashioned
sense of love ...
556
00:35:56,941 --> 00:35:59,373
and, uh, family ...
557
00:35:59,377 --> 00:36:03,181
and sometimes I look at them
and I wonder ...
558
00:36:03,181 --> 00:36:05,363
if living such a simple life ...
559
00:36:05,383 --> 00:36:07,364
can actually be
completely gratifying ...
560
00:36:07,485 --> 00:36:13,391
and if they understand
how rich and fertile...
561
00:36:13,391 --> 00:36:15,360
living in the gray area is.
562
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,729
I mean, because
it's all really about being happy.
563
00:36:18,797 --> 00:36:21,299
Right?
-Honey-
564
00:36:21,299 --> 00:36:24,561
No. Do I wish that there was
a little bit more romance? Yes.
565
00:36:24,635 --> 00:36:26,738
Of course I do.
But it's an ebb, a flow.
566
00:36:26,738 --> 00:36:30,108
It's shifting,
and I'm on that journey.
567
00:36:30,108 --> 00:36:32,469
What'd I miss?
-That's all there is to it.
568
00:36:39,050 --> 00:36:41,232
Honey.
569
00:36:41,352 --> 00:36:43,570
Looks like I finally
digested that corn.
570
00:36:48,860 --> 00:36:50,484
What?
571
00:36:56,234 --> 00:36:59,389
How much further?
-Just one more block.
572
00:37:02,740 --> 00:37:04,722
Come on.
We're close.
573
00:37:07,846 --> 00:37:09,848
Why'd you park so far away?
574
00:37:09,848 --> 00:37:12,480
This is the only
legal spot after 11:00.
575
00:37:12,484 --> 00:37:14,465
What the fuck?
576
00:37:14,486 --> 00:37:16,562
My car is gone!
577
00:37:19,257 --> 00:37:21,546
It was right here!
578
00:37:21,593 --> 00:37:23,704
Well-
579
00:37:25,963 --> 00:37:28,015
They probably towed it.
580
00:37:30,468 --> 00:37:33,471
Can we just get a cab?
I'm freezing.
581
00:37:33,471 --> 00:37:35,867
But this is a legal spot!
582
00:37:35,973 --> 00:37:39,010
They didn't tow this guy's car!
Oh, I swear to God-
583
00:37:39,010 --> 00:37:41,712
Tobey, would you shut up?
584
00:37:41,712 --> 00:37:43,764
Please!
585
00:37:48,820 --> 00:37:50,836
All right. It's-It's-
It's okay, Elaine.
586
00:37:50,855 --> 00:37:54,533
They just tow it to the pound.
587
00:37:54,592 --> 00:37:56,644
We can get it out.
588
00:38:00,097 --> 00:38:04,818
I want to get married
and have a baby!
589
00:38:06,171 --> 00:38:08,709
And you don't.
590
00:38:11,042 --> 00:38:13,189
Okay. Let's just get a cab.
591
00:38:13,311 --> 00:38:15,944
Oh, sh-I have wasted ...
592
00:38:15,947 --> 00:38:19,016
seven years of my life with you!
593
00:38:19,016 --> 00:38:21,649
Oh, shit.
594
00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:28,326
I need ... you ...
595
00:38:28,326 --> 00:38:31,422
to find somewhere else
to stay tonight.
596
00:38:38,169 --> 00:38:40,281
Hey!
597
00:39:02,093 --> 00:39:04,145
Hello?
598
00:39:05,730 --> 00:39:07,732
Honey-Honey, what is it?
599
00:39:07,732 --> 00:39:09,950
What happened?
600
00:39:09,967 --> 00:39:12,255
Aw, sweetie.
601
00:39:12,270 --> 00:39:14,251
He did?
602
00:39:16,608 --> 00:39:18,933
Oh, that fucking car!
603
00:39:20,811 --> 00:39:24,448
Hey, what's going on? Rebecca's on
the other line with her right now.
604
00:39:24,448 --> 00:39:26,500
Hi, Tom.
605
00:39:26,518 --> 00:39:29,587
Pamela?
-I hope I'm not getting you at a bad time.
606
00:39:29,587 --> 00:39:33,024
Um, no, no. I was just, uh,
relieving myself.
607
00:39:33,024 --> 00:39:35,206
What?
-I mean, uh-
608
00:39:35,260 --> 00:39:37,312
Hello?
609
00:39:37,328 --> 00:39:40,665
I mean I-I'm just-
I'm-I'm relieved that it's you.
610
00:39:40,665 --> 00:39:42,717
Good.
611
00:40:43,294 --> 00:40:45,275
Come in.
612
00:40:45,296 --> 00:40:47,277
Hey.
-Hi.
613
00:40:47,331 --> 00:40:49,312
You all right?
-Oh, yeah.
614
00:40:49,333 --> 00:40:52,250
- You look a little tense.
- Oh. You think?
615
00:41:02,713 --> 00:41:04,694
Whoa.
616
00:41:04,782 --> 00:41:07,284
Yeah. I guess I am a little tense.
617
00:41:07,284 --> 00:41:09,680
Yeah. Let me just-
618
00:41:12,556 --> 00:41:15,676
You're strong.
619
00:41:41,385 --> 00:41:43,437
Have you ever had a, uh-
620
00:41:45,456 --> 00:41:48,460
ever had a problem,
you know-
621
00:41:48,460 --> 00:41:52,797
I guess you haven't been listening to me
for the last 15 years.
622
00:41:52,797 --> 00:41:56,095
No, like-like-
like another woman problem.
623
00:41:56,167 --> 00:41:58,314
Issue.
624
00:41:58,335 --> 00:42:01,305
What, do you have one?
625
00:42:01,305 --> 00:42:05,009
Tom?
-Please don't say anything.
626
00:42:05,009 --> 00:42:08,279
I'm not sure what's going on-
-Hey!
627
00:42:08,279 --> 00:42:10,260
Hi!
-Hey!
628
00:42:10,381 --> 00:42:12,450
Hey. Hi. Oh!
629
00:42:12,450 --> 00:42:14,739
You're the last person
I expect to see.
630
00:42:14,819 --> 00:42:16,587
Yeah, well.
Here I am.
631
00:42:16,654 --> 00:42:18,528
Eating soup.
632
00:42:18,556 --> 00:42:20,537
Yeah.
633
00:42:20,558 --> 00:42:23,369
Yeah. You remember Tom?
-Hi.
634
00:42:24,628 --> 00:42:27,926
Are you okay? You look tired.
635
00:42:27,998 --> 00:42:30,901
Uh, well, actually, um ...
636
00:42:30,901 --> 00:42:32,937
Elaine and I split up ...
637
00:42:32,937 --> 00:42:35,049
about, uh-about three weeks ago.
638
00:42:35,172 --> 00:42:37,074
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
639
00:42:37,074 --> 00:42:39,055
Yeah, well, it was
a long relationship-
640
00:42:39,110 --> 00:42:41,078
You know what? I'm gonna go.
-Okay.
641
00:42:41,078 --> 00:42:44,014
Bye. -Oh, wait. I thought we were
gonna go see a movie together.
642
00:42:44,014 --> 00:42:46,885
I gotta check something out.
-Hey.
643
00:42:46,885 --> 00:42:48,866
Watch where you're going, asshole.
-Sorry.
644
00:42:48,887 --> 00:42:50,939
Shit!
-Honey! Honey, look who's here.
645
00:42:50,955 --> 00:42:53,491
Did you see this prick
that just knocked into me?
646
00:42:53,491 --> 00:42:56,560
I should have smacked him upside the head.
-No. No, don't do that.
647
00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:00,165
Honey, remember Tobey?
-Hey.
648
00:43:00,165 --> 00:43:02,181
What's up, bro?
-Hey. Oh!
649
00:43:02,199 --> 00:43:04,975
All right.
-Oh!
650
00:43:06,570 --> 00:43:09,707
Paper covers rock.
Remember that?
651
00:43:09,707 --> 00:43:11,689
Hey, do you like music?
652
00:43:11,810 --> 00:43:14,645
You know? 'Cause Rand
is promoting this great new club ...
653
00:43:14,645 --> 00:43:16,626
and it's really-it's really hot.
654
00:43:16,647 --> 00:43:18,628
Yeah. You know.
-Oh!
655
00:43:18,649 --> 00:43:20,630
O-Oh, well, I'd love to.
656
00:43:20,651 --> 00:43:23,462
I mean, if that's an invitation.
-Absolutely!
657
00:43:23,487 --> 00:43:26,156
Yes. I just need an e-mail address.
-I ... come ... clubbing.
658
00:43:27,224 --> 00:43:30,728
Uh ... yeah.
659
00:43:30,728 --> 00:43:33,361
It's ...
660
00:43:33,364 --> 00:43:35,761
A-S ...
661
00:43:35,766 --> 00:43:38,304
S-M ...
662
00:43:38,402 --> 00:43:40,383
A-N-2...
663
00:43:40,404 --> 00:43:44,852
- 0-4 at AOL. Com.
- Okay.
664
00:43:46,677 --> 00:43:48,693
Got it.
665
00:43:48,813 --> 00:43:51,816
One through 203 were taken.
666
00:43:51,816 --> 00:43:55,553
Okay. Well, I will
e-mail you the details then.
667
00:43:55,553 --> 00:43:58,294
All right. My man.
-Assman.
668
00:43:58,322 --> 00:44:00,895
Bye.
-Okay.
669
00:44:12,169 --> 00:44:14,221
Hi. Are you-
-Norah.
670
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,121
Norah? Wow! Hi.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
671
00:44:17,208 --> 00:44:20,477
I was afraid that they
weren't gonna let you sit down.
672
00:44:20,477 --> 00:44:25,128
Oh, it was difficult,
but I finally managed to persuade them.
673
00:44:27,117 --> 00:44:29,300
I never imagined
when I submitted my book ...
674
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,258
that it would elicit a response
from the head of the company.
675
00:44:33,258 --> 00:44:35,926
I'm grateful you agreed to see me,
actually.
676
00:44:35,926 --> 00:44:39,781
Are you kidding?
Do you know who you are?
677
00:44:39,830 --> 00:44:41,832
I think so.
678
00:44:41,832 --> 00:44:44,121
I'm sorry.
That was-that was crass.
679
00:44:44,235 --> 00:44:46,805
I just got out of a relationship
with a crass man ...
680
00:44:46,805 --> 00:44:50,659
nothing to do with gardening.
681
00:44:50,708 --> 00:44:52,643
Anyway, I don't know.
I say these things.
682
00:44:52,643 --> 00:44:55,941
I don't know where they come from.
683
00:44:56,013 --> 00:44:58,849
Excuse me.
684
00:44:58,849 --> 00:45:00,885
I'm so sorry.
-Are you okay?
685
00:45:00,885 --> 00:45:03,103
I'm fine.
Are you okay? Jesus.
686
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,966
I'm fine. I'm just wet.
You're choking.
687
00:45:06,991 --> 00:45:09,138
No, because I called.
688
00:45:09,159 --> 00:45:11,629
Because I left a message for you.
689
00:45:11,629 --> 00:45:15,032
Would you-
Would you just fuck you for just a-
690
00:45:15,032 --> 00:45:17,134
I'm sorry.
Look, I'm really sorry.
691
00:45:17,134 --> 00:45:19,115
Excuse me. I-I-
692
00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:23,974
Yeah. No, I'm fine.
No, you know, I'm a little tense today.
693
00:45:23,974 --> 00:45:27,236
Susie, you know I-
I love talking to you ...
694
00:45:27,244 --> 00:45:32,182
but I don't think
that on my cell phone right now is-
695
00:45:32,182 --> 00:45:34,614
She's horrible.
696
00:45:34,718 --> 00:45:37,621
She called me this morning,
and she's screaming at me.
697
00:45:37,621 --> 00:45:40,658
I'm really in very bad shape.
Basically I'm exhausted.
698
00:45:40,658 --> 00:45:43,595
The bank is calling me all the time,
and the contractor called twice.
699
00:45:43,595 --> 00:45:45,848
I don't know what the fuck
I'm doing here.
700
00:45:45,963 --> 00:45:47,998
Really, really difficult day.
701
00:45:47,998 --> 00:45:50,145
The lady who lives upstairs
from me ...
702
00:45:50,267 --> 00:45:52,900
that horrible bitch
I'm always fighting with?
703
00:46:00,277 --> 00:46:02,388
Douche bag!
704
00:46:05,250 --> 00:46:09,920
I want to start off this meeting
by first thanking Sensei Goldberg ...
705
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,972
for the use of his dojo.
706
00:46:13,958 --> 00:46:17,995
I would like to also welcome the sensei
as our newest member ...
707
00:46:17,995 --> 00:46:21,293
of the Broadway division
of Sex Addicts R' Us.
708
00:46:21,332 --> 00:46:24,568
So that means if you are here ...
709
00:46:24,568 --> 00:46:29,123
for the previously scheduled seminar on
owning your orgasm, you're in the wrong place.
710
00:46:29,139 --> 00:46:31,642
Shit.
711
00:46:31,642 --> 00:46:35,914
It's been moved to the basement
of Our Lady of Poland on 34th street.
712
00:46:35,914 --> 00:46:37,966
Thirty fourth?
-Yeah.
713
00:46:39,450 --> 00:46:41,820
Are you here for the meeting?
714
00:46:41,820 --> 00:46:44,737
What? The meeting?
715
00:46:44,823 --> 00:46:46,558
Yes. The meeting?
716
00:46:46,558 --> 00:46:50,594
Yeah. The meeting. Yeah. I thought-
I thought I'd check it out.
717
00:46:50,594 --> 00:46:54,177
Welcome. Your name?
718
00:46:55,632 --> 00:46:59,136
Tobey.
-Hi, Tobey.
719
00:46:59,136 --> 00:47:01,705
Well, my friend Rebecca says ...
720
00:47:01,705 --> 00:47:05,275
she thinks that men
are never really ready to have a baby ...
721
00:47:05,275 --> 00:47:08,112
and that you have to trap them.
722
00:47:08,112 --> 00:47:10,094
What do you think?
723
00:47:10,114 --> 00:47:12,131
I don't really think about it.
724
00:47:12,149 --> 00:47:16,488
But I certainly think you shouldn't be
spending your energy trying to trap a man.
725
00:47:16,488 --> 00:47:18,564
You're way too talented.
726
00:47:18,590 --> 00:47:21,625
I believe in fate.
727
00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:24,596
I think you're meant
to have this time, Elaine.
728
00:47:24,596 --> 00:47:27,751
You're meant to-to explore.
729
00:47:29,266 --> 00:47:32,006
Sounds like you need it.
730
00:47:32,036 --> 00:47:34,104
I don't know what I need.
731
00:47:34,104 --> 00:47:37,674
Well, I think you know more
than you're willing to admit.
732
00:47:37,674 --> 00:47:39,726
This is me.
733
00:47:39,743 --> 00:47:42,068
Oh. Sweet.
734
00:47:42,079 --> 00:47:45,448
Thank you so much for lunch
and for the walk.
735
00:47:45,517 --> 00:47:48,986
It was delicious, don't you think?
736
00:47:48,986 --> 00:47:51,955
Yes.
737
00:47:51,955 --> 00:47:53,936
So do you think that
there's any chance ...
738
00:47:53,957 --> 00:47:56,590
you're gonna publish my book?
739
00:47:58,263 --> 00:48:01,365
You know, Elaine,
you're a very talented young woman ...
740
00:48:01,365 --> 00:48:03,381
and, quite frankly ...
741
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,970
I was very taken with the photo
you sent with your submission.
742
00:48:06,970 --> 00:48:10,968
Mm-hmm.
-But I want to be honest with you.
743
00:48:11,008 --> 00:48:13,912
I don't like to rush these things.
744
00:48:13,912 --> 00:48:16,613
I like to go slow.
-Okay.
745
00:48:16,613 --> 00:48:20,517
So let's meet and see how it goes.
746
00:48:20,517 --> 00:48:22,629
Okay.
747
00:48:24,321 --> 00:48:26,397
Ah, get a room.
748
00:48:26,423 --> 00:48:28,475
It was never enough.
749
00:48:29,693 --> 00:48:32,160
No matter how many times ...
750
00:48:32,162 --> 00:48:34,831
different positions-
751
00:48:34,833 --> 00:48:37,836
none of it made me feel whole.
752
00:48:37,836 --> 00:48:40,955
In fact, it just made me
feel empty.
753
00:48:46,543 --> 00:48:48,524
How's the sandwich?
754
00:48:48,545 --> 00:48:52,116
Okay, so ... just a recap.
755
00:48:52,116 --> 00:48:55,106
Uh, John is not happy ...
756
00:48:55,119 --> 00:48:58,622
unless he can fit his penis
inside a hard, inanimate object.
757
00:48:58,622 --> 00:49:00,557
Preferably coarse.
758
00:49:00,557 --> 00:49:05,230
Right. Sarah, you had
a relapse this week...
759
00:49:05,230 --> 00:49:08,147
again putting yourself in danger
with a power tool.
760
00:49:08,165 --> 00:49:10,767
And, uh, Gordon ...
761
00:49:10,767 --> 00:49:13,757
the sex you are having
with your wife's mother ...
762
00:49:13,837 --> 00:49:19,009
and your wife's mother's sister
is putting your homelife in major jeopardy.
763
00:49:19,009 --> 00:49:22,864
That leaves ...
Tobey.
764
00:49:25,048 --> 00:49:28,038
I'll pass.
-Great. Sandwich guy's gonna pass?
765
00:49:28,085 --> 00:49:30,921
Great. Very trusting.
766
00:49:30,921 --> 00:49:34,290
It's traditional
that everyone shares.
767
00:49:44,201 --> 00:49:46,277
Well ...
768
00:49:46,303 --> 00:49:48,735
I've been having an affair.
769
00:49:54,511 --> 00:49:56,623
With a woman ...
770
00:49:59,116 --> 00:50:01,192
who is not my wife.
771
00:50:06,558 --> 00:50:08,705
And, um,
772
00:50:08,725 --> 00:50:11,014
I, uh-
773
00:50:13,130 --> 00:50:17,851
I like her to wrap me in deli meats.
774
00:50:20,070 --> 00:50:23,340
I need her
to wrap me in deli meats ...
775
00:50:23,340 --> 00:50:25,937
in order to achieve an orgasm.
776
00:50:28,846 --> 00:50:30,898
Usually ham.
777
00:50:31,849 --> 00:50:33,901
Thinly sliced.
778
00:50:36,221 --> 00:50:39,489
I know it's not normal.
779
00:50:39,489 --> 00:50:42,759
No one here knows
what that word means, Tobey.
780
00:50:42,759 --> 00:50:45,696
You're amongst friends.
781
00:50:45,696 --> 00:50:47,599
Continue.
782
00:50:47,599 --> 00:50:50,667
And hand me the sandwich.
783
00:50:50,667 --> 00:50:52,850
Am I allowed to wear fur?
784
00:50:52,870 --> 00:50:55,606
Do I, like, give off that vibe?
785
00:50:55,606 --> 00:50:57,788
Is she attractive?
-So funny.
786
00:50:57,808 --> 00:51:01,445
Afterwards, all I wanted to do
was tell Tobey.
787
00:51:01,445 --> 00:51:04,505
He would have died of excitement-
a possible threesome.
788
00:51:04,581 --> 00:51:06,617
I had a threesome once.
789
00:51:06,617 --> 00:51:09,463
It was with two guys
who turned out to be gay.
790
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,501
I was just kind of
the window dressing.
791
00:51:11,522 --> 00:51:13,953
It all made sense in retrospect ...
792
00:51:14,024 --> 00:51:16,927
but I can't tell you
what it did for my self-esteem.
793
00:51:16,927 --> 00:51:19,323
Yeah. It seems really damaged.
794
00:51:19,429 --> 00:51:23,300
What does that mean?
-Nothing.
795
00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:25,302
You know, I don't get
what people think of me ...
796
00:51:25,302 --> 00:51:27,283
that I have no
problems or feelings-
797
00:51:27,304 --> 00:51:29,593
I'm perfect, I'm like a robot?
798
00:51:29,706 --> 00:51:32,276
No, honey.
Nobody thinks that.
799
00:51:32,276 --> 00:51:36,380
We all think you're great.
We all have problems.
800
00:51:37,981 --> 00:51:41,652
You know, I always thought of a relationship
as two people holding a stick.
801
00:51:41,652 --> 00:51:45,389
Sometimes the stick is short and you're close
and you can look into each other's eyes ...
802
00:51:45,389 --> 00:51:48,094
and other times it's long and you can
barely see the other person ...
803
00:51:48,125 --> 00:51:50,661
but you both always
hold onto your end of the stick.
804
00:51:50,661 --> 00:51:52,713
You don't let it drop.
805
00:51:55,699 --> 00:51:58,925
I'm okay.
I'm just stressed.
806
00:51:59,002 --> 00:52:01,038
We should go out.
807
00:52:01,038 --> 00:52:03,220
Just you and me.
808
00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:06,343
Jesus, what?
809
00:52:06,343 --> 00:52:09,889
I just thought of
a great guy for you.
810
00:52:11,615 --> 00:52:14,320
Oh ... I don't know.
811
00:52:17,988 --> 00:52:19,957
No weapons in the club.
812
00:52:19,957 --> 00:52:23,627
If you got a weapon, you gotta give 'em up
at the door. No exceptions.
813
00:52:23,627 --> 00:52:25,608
Would you move?
814
00:52:25,629 --> 00:52:27,918
All right.
Make room for her.
815
00:52:28,031 --> 00:52:30,107
Hey, Wall Street,
make way for the lady.
816
00:52:30,133 --> 00:52:32,069
Hey. How are you?
-Hi. How are you?
817
00:52:32,069 --> 00:52:34,357
Good to see you. Have a good time.
-Thank you.
818
00:52:34,471 --> 00:52:38,175
Hey, you're here.
-I'm glad I didn't bring my piece.
819
00:52:38,175 --> 00:52:41,111
Hi. How are you?
-Hi.
820
00:52:41,111 --> 00:52:44,548
Uh-Where's-Wh-Where's, uh-
-Rand?
821
00:52:44,548 --> 00:52:46,529
He couldn't make it.
822
00:52:46,550 --> 00:52:49,646
Oh-Oh, I'm sorry
he couldn't make it.
823
00:52:49,653 --> 00:52:52,014
He, uh-
-I'm not.
824
00:52:53,524 --> 00:52:56,061
Oh, come on.
Let's dance.
825
00:52:56,159 --> 00:53:00,163
Oh, no-no. No-No, I don't-
I'm not-That's not really my thing.
826
00:53:00,163 --> 00:53:02,216
Come on!
827
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:05,145
More of a slow dancer.
828
00:53:11,007 --> 00:53:13,332
All right.
829
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,302
Thank you.
830
00:53:25,322 --> 00:53:28,797
Hey, baby. Will you hold this for me?
Thank you. Hold my horn.
831
00:53:28,859 --> 00:53:31,828
Uh, that's a little something we call
''Serenade for a French Horn ...
832
00:53:31,828 --> 00:53:34,998
in F-sharp."
833
00:53:34,998 --> 00:53:37,935
This next one ...
834
00:53:37,935 --> 00:53:40,117
we call ''Juniper.''
835
00:53:40,237 --> 00:53:45,409
And if any of you out there
know what a juniper plant is ...
836
00:53:46,743 --> 00:53:49,613
I think you'll understand.
837
00:53:49,613 --> 00:53:51,665
Peace.
838
00:53:52,716 --> 00:53:55,485
Oh, my God.
He just bowed to you.
839
00:53:55,485 --> 00:53:58,261
It wasn't to me.
-It wasn't to me.
840
00:53:58,355 --> 00:54:01,458
He doesn't even know me.
-I told him all about you already.
841
00:54:01,458 --> 00:54:03,996
When?
-On the phone.
842
00:54:04,094 --> 00:54:07,084
Oh, my God.
I didn't even bow back.
843
00:54:14,004 --> 00:54:18,073
I'll introduce you to him after,
and you can bow then.
844
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:49,540
Hey, you guys, that was great.
So flowing, man. I could feel it tonight-
845
00:54:49,540 --> 00:54:54,678
Hey! How's the comedienne?
Oh. Mmm.
846
00:54:54,678 --> 00:54:58,782
Oh, my God.
847
00:54:58,782 --> 00:55:02,286
Oh! Oh, dizzy.
-You taste as good as ever.
848
00:55:02,286 --> 00:55:04,555
You were great. You were
great tonight. -Oh, thank you.
849
00:55:04,555 --> 00:55:06,536
You were.
You were really good.
850
00:55:06,656 --> 00:55:10,727
Well, I was just working off that energy
that you were sending up to me.
851
00:55:10,727 --> 00:55:14,796
Whew! You have
a really beautiful voice.
852
00:55:14,831 --> 00:55:17,334
Well, I can't take credit
for that, you know?
853
00:55:17,334 --> 00:55:21,782
It's all the big man.
Hey!
854
00:55:21,805 --> 00:55:23,707
You know, ever since
I became a minister ...
855
00:55:23,707 --> 00:55:27,290
my vocal range
has just gotten insane.
856
00:55:27,311 --> 00:55:30,247
You're a minister?
-Yes, yes.
857
00:55:30,247 --> 00:55:33,438
But don't worry.
Ministers are free to fornicate.
858
00:55:34,751 --> 00:55:37,218
Should we get a drink?
859
00:55:37,287 --> 00:55:39,456
Lots of'em.
860
00:55:39,456 --> 00:55:43,454
Go! Go!
861
00:55:43,493 --> 00:55:48,049
Tobey! Tobey! Tobey! Tobey!
862
00:55:52,702 --> 00:55:54,955
Go, baby.
863
00:55:57,207 --> 00:55:59,042
Ow! Watch it!
864
00:55:59,042 --> 00:56:01,024
Sorry.
865
00:56:03,713 --> 00:56:06,073
Dante. Lewis, buddy.
866
00:56:08,184 --> 00:56:11,488
Good to see you.
-Look at you.
867
00:56:11,488 --> 00:56:14,658
What is the deal with you two?
868
00:56:14,658 --> 00:56:18,371
Oh, come on.
''You taste as good as ever''?
869
00:56:18,395 --> 00:56:20,564
We had a thing in college.
870
00:56:20,564 --> 00:56:24,067
I didn't tell you because
I didn't want to discourage you.
871
00:56:24,067 --> 00:56:26,737
Mmm.
-He's sexy!
872
00:56:27,737 --> 00:56:33,043
And very ... attentive.
873
00:56:33,043 --> 00:56:35,119
Oh.
874
00:56:35,245 --> 00:56:38,048
He really is a freak, isn't he?
875
00:56:38,048 --> 00:56:40,824
You don't have to marry the guy.
876
00:56:43,687 --> 00:56:47,857
- So, what are we gonna do about this?
- This?
877
00:56:51,261 --> 00:56:55,332
Oh, come on. Don't tell me
you haven't thought about it ...
878
00:56:55,332 --> 00:56:59,330
every time we've seen each other
since college.
879
00:57:01,471 --> 00:57:05,609
Uh-Oh, I-I-I've thought about it.
880
00:57:05,609 --> 00:57:08,345
Uh-
881
00:57:08,345 --> 00:57:11,441
Sure, you're-you're-you're-
-I'm what?
882
00:57:13,783 --> 00:57:17,087
Very-
-Very what?
883
00:57:17,087 --> 00:57:21,157
Uh-
884
00:57:21,157 --> 00:57:24,561
Talk dirty to me.
885
00:57:49,486 --> 00:57:53,614
You taste amazing.
886
00:57:53,657 --> 00:57:56,559
Thank you.
887
00:57:56,559 --> 00:57:59,329
Um-Um, could you-
could you-
888
00:57:59,329 --> 00:58:05,001
could you stop doing whatever that it is
that you were just doing ...
889
00:58:05,001 --> 00:58:08,998
and ... leave?
890
00:58:10,740 --> 00:58:12,721
Oh.
891
00:58:12,842 --> 00:58:15,439
I would be wearing ...
892
00:58:18,148 --> 00:58:20,129
shorts.
893
00:58:20,150 --> 00:58:23,620
And you would ...
894
00:58:23,620 --> 00:58:26,557
be in a swimsuit?
895
00:58:26,557 --> 00:58:30,360
Oh, God. Just relax.
-I'm sorry.
896
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:34,431
It's just, you know, you have a ... husband.
-Oh.
897
00:58:34,431 --> 00:58:37,301
Rand.
898
00:58:37,301 --> 00:58:39,282
What kind of name is that anyway?
-Oh, ah-
899
00:58:39,303 --> 00:58:42,105
Mm-mmm. No.
900
00:58:42,105 --> 00:58:47,041
- Doesn't matter. Okay?
None of it matters, Tobey.
- Hmm? What? What's that mean?
901
00:58:47,043 --> 00:58:49,612
I mean, in 50 years,
we're gonna be dead ...
902
00:58:49,612 --> 00:58:52,281
and nobody's gonna remember us
or even know we existed.
903
00:58:52,282 --> 00:58:54,880
So, come on.
-In 50 years, I'm only gonna be 86.
904
00:58:54,884 --> 00:58:58,288
Mmm. Whatever.
905
00:58:58,288 --> 00:59:00,542
My point is that
this is all so temporary ...
906
00:59:00,557 --> 00:59:03,024
so let's just enjoy it.
907
00:59:03,026 --> 00:59:05,280
Please?
908
00:59:26,617 --> 00:59:28,669
Elaine.
909
00:59:28,785 --> 00:59:32,722
- Elaine!
- Hey- Hey-
910
00:59:32,722 --> 00:59:35,983
Elaine ... is asleep.
911
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:40,029
She's gone to bed.
912
00:59:40,029 --> 00:59:44,033
Uh, wait-
913
00:59:44,033 --> 00:59:46,702
You were just up there?
914
00:59:46,803 --> 00:59:49,579
Yes. Yes, I was.
915
00:59:50,774 --> 00:59:54,444
Nothing to write home about.
916
00:59:54,444 --> 00:59:57,743
I think I got a song out of it.
917
01:00:10,460 --> 01:00:12,460
Why would you do that?
918
01:00:11,394 --> 01:00:13,463
Oh.
-You know I invited Elaine and her new boyfriend.
919
01:00:13,463 --> 01:00:16,966
I know, but he just looks so pathetic.
And, you know ...
920
01:00:16,966 --> 01:00:19,291
I forgot.
-You did not forget, Tom.
921
01:00:19,303 --> 01:00:22,105
Well, he's just blathering on
about how much he misses Elaine.
922
01:00:22,105 --> 01:00:24,431
He can't function without her.
He's gotta see her.
923
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:27,177
You know, I wanted somebody here who
doesn't know anything about the theater ...
924
01:00:27,177 --> 01:00:29,573
so I could have somebody to talk to.
-Right. Fine.
925
01:00:29,580 --> 01:00:32,315
He's sitting far away
from Elaine. Next to Amis.
926
01:00:32,315 --> 01:00:34,367
The guy in the yellow turtleneck?
927
01:00:34,450 --> 01:00:37,453
Rebecca, he's your brother. Don't do that to him.
-Hey.
928
01:00:37,453 --> 01:00:39,956
My man.
-I, uh ...
929
01:00:39,957 --> 01:00:42,068
brought a bottle of wine.
-Thank you.
930
01:00:42,091 --> 01:00:44,594
That's-That's what you're supposed to do
at a dinner party, right?
931
01:00:44,595 --> 01:00:46,576
Very grown-up.
-Yep. Hey.
932
01:00:46,597 --> 01:00:49,600
Hi. How are you?
-Hello?
933
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:51,925
Your door was wide open.
934
01:00:54,103 --> 01:00:57,207
Hi. Hi, my name's Tom.
-Hi. You look so pretty.
935
01:00:57,207 --> 01:00:59,188
Thank you.
-So pretty. Hi.
936
01:00:59,309 --> 01:01:01,945
Goren.
-Nice to meet you. Hi, Elaine.
937
01:01:01,945 --> 01:01:04,412
Hello.
-Hi, hi. Nice to see you ... again.
938
01:01:04,414 --> 01:01:08,484
Oh, wow. Wow, that was a lot of kisses.
939
01:01:08,484 --> 01:01:13,089
Hello.
-Hey. Tobey.
940
01:01:13,089 --> 01:01:16,559
Tobey. Tobey.
-Let me take your coat.
941
01:01:16,559 --> 01:01:18,670
Hiya. -Yeah.
-Here you go.
942
01:01:18,728 --> 01:01:20,709
Yeah.
-Take your coat too.
943
01:01:20,730 --> 01:01:22,877
Come on. Take it off.
-All right.
944
01:01:22,966 --> 01:01:24,947
No, the theater. No, no, no ...
945
01:01:24,968 --> 01:01:27,151
the theater is completely different.
946
01:01:27,171 --> 01:01:29,353
I mean, it's all star-driven,
you know?
947
01:01:29,372 --> 01:01:33,042
Stars, stars, stars.
They can't walk. They can't talk.
948
01:01:33,042 --> 01:01:37,480
I mean, it's just like the film industry
where you hail from, my dear.
949
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:39,982
Actually, Amis,
I hail from New Jersey.
950
01:01:39,983 --> 01:01:43,187
No? New Jers-
Charming.
951
01:01:43,187 --> 01:01:46,956
Charming as ever.
Tom, you are a lucky man.
952
01:01:46,956 --> 01:01:50,954
Spunk doesn't usually come
in such a beautiful package.
953
01:01:55,698 --> 01:01:58,334
You know, I ...
954
01:01:58,334 --> 01:02:01,003
I think it's this, uh-
these departures ...
955
01:02:01,004 --> 01:02:05,168
from the literatures
which-which makes it worse ...
956
01:02:05,209 --> 01:02:07,777
in this society's, uh-
It goes, uh ...
957
01:02:07,777 --> 01:02:10,208
the-the wrongest.
958
01:02:11,247 --> 01:02:15,251
What?
-What do you mean, Goren?
959
01:02:15,251 --> 01:02:17,754
No. No, yeah-
960
01:02:17,754 --> 01:02:20,958
It-It's-Because it is this,
uh, connection ...
961
01:02:20,958 --> 01:02:24,504
between the past and the futures.
962
01:02:24,560 --> 01:02:30,017
Uh-Well, because it-it was there
before any of the other arts.
963
01:02:30,833 --> 01:02:34,511
Except painting.
-And dance.
964
01:02:36,072 --> 01:02:38,468
This is great wine.
965
01:02:38,474 --> 01:02:41,285
Isn't it.
966
01:02:50,153 --> 01:02:53,071
So, Goren, are you ...
technically a citizen?
967
01:02:58,061 --> 01:03:00,697
There are more than one, um ...
968
01:03:00,697 --> 01:03:04,244
places for which, uh,
to be citizens with than this one.
969
01:03:12,575 --> 01:03:14,936
So, what, you're on like
a limited visa or something?
970
01:03:17,647 --> 01:03:19,864
You all right?
971
01:03:19,882 --> 01:03:21,863
I am. I'm-
-Are you okay?
972
01:03:32,930 --> 01:03:35,468
Wow! This is good soup.
973
01:03:45,617 --> 01:03:49,247
Tobey! We can't do this.
-What? What do-What do-What do you mean?
974
01:03:49,312 --> 01:03:51,293
It's all right.
They're, you know-
975
01:03:54,684 --> 01:03:57,420
We're not together anymore.
976
01:03:57,420 --> 01:03:59,401
Do you get that?
977
01:04:02,191 --> 01:04:04,480
But it-But it's not right
for me, Elaine.
978
01:04:07,598 --> 01:04:11,067
Ah-It-I mean,
it's Tobey and Elaine.
979
01:04:11,067 --> 01:04:14,238
That sounds right to me.
Those two names.
980
01:04:14,238 --> 01:04:18,128
It's-They-They-They go together.
981
01:04:18,174 --> 01:04:22,136
That's your plea?
That our names go together?
982
01:04:23,012 --> 01:04:25,265
It seems right.
983
01:04:26,349 --> 01:04:28,637
It's not right.
984
01:04:28,684 --> 01:04:32,504
I'm just starting with someone new,
and I'm happy.
985
01:04:32,523 --> 01:04:35,358
That-
986
01:04:35,358 --> 01:04:38,240
That-That-sprocket out there?
987
01:04:38,327 --> 01:04:42,965
He's-He's-He's in a unitard, for Chrissakes!
988
01:04:42,965 --> 01:04:45,254
Better. That is the Tobey
that I know.
989
01:04:45,368 --> 01:04:48,404
Oh, oh, oh,
''I think 'The Canterbury Tales' ...
990
01:04:48,404 --> 01:04:51,524
''really provides a basis
for all of the modern literatures.
991
01:04:51,542 --> 01:04:55,044
And watch me dance.''
-You know, you're right, Tobey.
992
01:04:55,044 --> 01:04:57,511
You've- You hit the nail
on the head! He is.
993
01:04:57,513 --> 01:04:59,494
He's a pretentious sprocket.
-Yes!
994
01:04:59,515 --> 01:05:01,584
He's a pretentious sprocket ...
995
01:05:01,584 --> 01:05:04,845
with a huge cock!
996
01:05:08,391 --> 01:05:12,695
No-Well, he-he-he does not look ...
997
01:05:12,695 --> 01:05:15,435
like he has a huge cock.
998
01:05:17,900 --> 01:05:21,305
Well, he does. And you ...
999
01:05:21,305 --> 01:05:24,603
you don't know what
a relationship is.
1000
01:05:48,297 --> 01:05:52,425
Boy, that water pressure in there really sucks.
1001
01:06:03,614 --> 01:06:07,950
Mmm. It's been a long time, hasn't it?
1002
01:06:07,950 --> 01:06:10,820
Where'd she find this guy,
Zorro, anyway?
1003
01:06:10,820 --> 01:06:15,019
It's Goren.
And let's not talk about him.
1004
01:06:18,594 --> 01:06:21,192
I gotta be up early for Mommy & Me.
1005
01:06:26,769 --> 01:06:28,881
Okay.
1006
01:06:31,542 --> 01:06:34,353
''That's not really fair to say, now is it?
1007
01:06:34,443 --> 01:06:37,548
We've known each other for a long time.
I think we deserve each other's honesty.''
1008
01:06:37,548 --> 01:06:40,846
''I have been in love with you
since the moment I saw you. ''
1009
01:06:40,850 --> 01:06:42,926
''You only think you have.''
1010
01:06:44,787 --> 01:06:48,856
''What's the difference?'' -Jesus, that's
a cocksucker of a speech. I get it right?
1011
01:06:48,891 --> 01:06:51,060
How come I didn't get
the cursing gene?
1012
01:06:51,060 --> 01:06:54,251
You know, I've never had
this much trouble remembering my lines.
1013
01:06:54,330 --> 01:06:56,691
It must be menopause.
1014
01:06:56,699 --> 01:07:00,803
Becca, you're 38. And would you please
not talk about your vagina? You're my sister.
1015
01:07:00,803 --> 01:07:03,199
It's bad enough that my best friend
has sex with you.
1016
01:07:05,541 --> 01:07:09,147
Walk back to the theater
with me, would ya?
1017
01:07:14,317 --> 01:07:18,030
Hey! What the fuck?
1018
01:07:21,857 --> 01:07:23,839
Hey!
1019
01:07:27,797 --> 01:07:32,134
Hey-Hey-Hey.
Evel Knievel, what the fuck?
1020
01:07:32,134 --> 01:07:34,246
Since when do you smoke?
1021
01:07:34,370 --> 01:07:37,252
I know he's seeing someone.
1022
01:07:39,742 --> 01:07:43,379
You know, I wasn't really sure,
but that look confirmed it.
1023
01:07:43,379 --> 01:07:46,182
Hey, that's not fair. You said you already
knew he was seeing someone.
1024
01:07:46,182 --> 01:07:49,719
So he is?
-No, I-I-I-
1025
01:07:49,719 --> 01:07:52,555
I mean, I-I-I know nothing.
1026
01:07:52,555 --> 01:07:54,957
I'm not the guy who tells
someone something like that.
1027
01:07:54,957 --> 01:07:57,493
I-I refuse to be
forced into being that guy.
1028
01:07:57,493 --> 01:08:01,764
This is not about you, you little fucking twit.
-Well, I-Hey, you hit me!
1029
01:08:01,764 --> 01:08:04,667
You know, Tom's right about you.
You're the, uh, what did he call you?
1030
01:08:04,667 --> 01:08:08,404
The play-by-play guy. That's what you call
him, right, the guy who sits in the booth ...
1031
01:08:08,404 --> 01:08:10,693
and talks about everything
that's goin' on without ever playing.
1032
01:08:10,706 --> 01:08:14,347
Never fucking participating.
Just letting life pass you by.
1033
01:08:14,410 --> 01:08:16,846
Never participating!
-Well, if I'm that guy ...
1034
01:08:16,846 --> 01:08:19,800
then he's the quarterback who wants to
screw everything with two legs.
1035
01:08:19,815 --> 01:08:23,077
D-To con-continue the-
1036
01:08:23,119 --> 01:08:26,155
the-the metaphor, that is.
1037
01:08:26,155 --> 01:08:28,480
Fuck!
1038
01:08:33,996 --> 01:08:36,666
Thanks for reading with me, Tobey.
1039
01:08:36,666 --> 01:08:39,239
I'm sorry. I'm so-
1040
01:08:56,686 --> 01:08:59,259
Oh, hey.
1041
01:09:01,624 --> 01:09:03,605
Cosmos ...
1042
01:09:03,626 --> 01:09:06,295
would you be a sweetheart
and let Mr. Ronson in?
1043
01:09:06,295 --> 01:09:08,893
He's already here, Mom.
1044
01:09:11,367 --> 01:09:13,436
So they're really
that sensitive, huh?
1045
01:09:13,436 --> 01:09:16,305
Women don't seem
to believe that, but, yes, they are.
1046
01:09:16,305 --> 01:09:20,338
Oh, so now I'm being lumped
with all women?
1047
01:09:20,376 --> 01:09:23,312
Pamela, we need to talk about somethin'.
-No.
1048
01:09:23,312 --> 01:09:25,214
I know what you're gonna say.
1049
01:09:25,214 --> 01:09:28,760
And you're right. But-
But I don't want to.
1050
01:09:28,818 --> 01:09:31,954
Look, I can't-
I can't do this anymore.
1051
01:09:31,954 --> 01:09:34,350
We have to stop this.
1052
01:09:50,106 --> 01:09:53,376
Hey, you wanna see what Cosmos taught me?
-Sure.
1053
01:09:53,376 --> 01:09:56,293
Oh!
1054
01:09:56,379 --> 01:09:58,976
Mommy!
-Hey, is that my big boy?
1055
01:10:01,117 --> 01:10:03,548
Hi, sweetheart.
-Hey, we didn't expect you to be home.
1056
01:10:03,553 --> 01:10:06,222
Well, I-I missed my family,
so I came home early.
1057
01:10:08,824 --> 01:10:11,706
Are you wearing cologne?
-No.
1058
01:10:13,095 --> 01:10:15,831
David learned some interesting
things on his play date today.
1059
01:10:15,831 --> 01:10:17,813
Oh, really. Like what?
1060
01:10:17,833 --> 01:10:20,836
I learned how to silence someone!
1061
01:10:20,836 --> 01:10:23,790
How do you do that?
-You hit them in the balls.
1062
01:10:23,839 --> 01:10:25,821
Oh.
1063
01:10:25,875 --> 01:10:27,777
Yep.
1064
01:10:27,777 --> 01:10:29,758
That sounds like a good idea.
1065
01:10:32,648 --> 01:10:35,918
Okay, everybody, let's get ready
for dinner. Come on. Let's go.
1066
01:10:35,918 --> 01:10:38,385
Whoops. Okay.
1067
01:10:44,527 --> 01:10:46,852
Here you go, buddy.
1068
01:10:46,862 --> 01:10:49,674
Watch your hand.
1069
01:10:49,698 --> 01:10:52,023
Here you go. Oh, sorry.
-Oops.
1070
01:10:53,702 --> 01:10:55,738
There you go.
-Thanks.
1071
01:10:55,738 --> 01:10:57,719
Enjoy.
1072
01:11:02,077 --> 01:11:04,746
You okay?
-Um ...
1073
01:11:04,747 --> 01:11:06,728
I'm thinking about
dropping out of the play.
1074
01:11:06,749 --> 01:11:10,286
What? Why?
1075
01:11:10,286 --> 01:11:14,213
Things aren't working out the way I want them to.
-Aw, you'll do great.
1076
01:11:14,223 --> 01:11:16,926
Rebecca, you always have these moments
of doubts before an opening.
1077
01:11:16,926 --> 01:11:19,287
You know? I was-
-Not about so many things.
1078
01:11:22,832 --> 01:11:24,776
What are you doin', Tom?
1079
01:11:27,637 --> 01:11:32,120
I look at you, I feel like I don't even know
who you are anymore.
1080
01:11:32,141 --> 01:11:34,977
And maybe that's my fault.
-No.
1081
01:11:34,977 --> 01:11:38,002
It's not your fault. I, uh-
1082
01:11:40,015 --> 01:11:44,487
I just-I feel lost.
1083
01:11:44,487 --> 01:11:49,244
And, uh, I don't know
who I am right now.
1084
01:11:58,935 --> 01:12:02,404
You should leave, Tom,
till you figure it out.
1085
01:12:02,404 --> 01:12:05,286
We can't do it for you.
1086
01:12:07,276 --> 01:12:09,743
What a good boy.
1087
01:12:09,812 --> 01:12:11,829
Eatin' all that spaghetti.
1088
01:12:13,583 --> 01:12:15,564
Sorry, I'm late.
1089
01:12:15,585 --> 01:12:18,921
It's all the idiots.
1090
01:12:18,921 --> 01:12:21,388
Could you explain to me the psychology ...
-Tobey-
1091
01:12:21,457 --> 01:12:25,261
behind the people who wait in a long line
at the store and don't take their money out ...
1092
01:12:25,261 --> 01:12:27,997
until their total is rung up,
as if it's a surprise?
1093
01:12:27,997 --> 01:12:30,535
''Oh, you want money for this?
1094
01:12:30,633 --> 01:12:34,870
''Well, I had no idea.
Wait, while I unzip my fanny pack ...
1095
01:12:34,870 --> 01:12:37,990
and dig through my man-purse
for my wallet.''
1096
01:12:38,073 --> 01:12:42,578
So, do you think
you might be avoiding the issue?
1097
01:12:42,578 --> 01:12:46,291
Wh-What issue is that?
-That you've been following me?
1098
01:12:46,348 --> 01:12:50,416
I think not.
1099
01:12:53,923 --> 01:12:56,725
Oh. Oh! That was you.
1100
01:12:56,725 --> 01:12:59,629
I thought-I thought it might have been,
but there was just, you know ...
1101
01:12:59,629 --> 01:13:02,698
so much of a coincidence.
-What were you hoping to find out, Tobey?
1102
01:13:02,698 --> 01:13:06,802
That I'm a Libra?
That I had a heart attack?
1103
01:13:06,835 --> 01:13:08,837
Oh, you had a heart attack?
1104
01:13:08,837 --> 01:13:12,312
I also had a withholding father
and an inappropriate mother.
1105
01:13:12,374 --> 01:13:15,377
And when I was 20, I had a nervous breakdown.
1106
01:13:15,377 --> 01:13:19,549
And, I think it's time
to terminate your therapy.
1107
01:13:19,549 --> 01:13:22,418
I'm sorry?
1108
01:13:22,418 --> 01:13:25,588
Well, this is not working out.
1109
01:13:25,588 --> 01:13:28,364
Well, Tobey, not for you
and not for me.
1110
01:13:30,392 --> 01:13:32,895
Okay.
1111
01:13:32,895 --> 01:13:36,157
Okay.
1112
01:13:36,198 --> 01:13:38,901
Have a little trust, Tobey.
1113
01:13:38,901 --> 01:13:42,163
The world is not against you.
1114
01:13:43,205 --> 01:13:47,203
I mean, no wonder
his advice was so bad.
1115
01:13:47,242 --> 01:13:49,345
He had a nervous breakdown.
1116
01:13:49,345 --> 01:13:51,326
A heart attack.
Messed up parents.
1117
01:13:51,347 --> 01:13:55,084
I mean, could he be
any more unhealthy?
1118
01:13:55,084 --> 01:13:58,354
He said something to me, though,
when I left, that really bugged me.
1119
01:13:58,354 --> 01:14:03,459
He said, ''The world is not against
you, Tobey. Have a little trust.''
1120
01:14:03,459 --> 01:14:05,794
Well, that kinda goes
against my whole philosophy.
1121
01:14:05,794 --> 01:14:09,332
''The world is not against me.'' Huh? I
mean, well, then how do you explain my life?
1122
01:14:09,332 --> 01:14:11,905
Jesus Christ!
Can you just shut up?
1123
01:14:13,469 --> 01:14:17,473
I mean, I-I don't have time
for this bullshit about your shrink.
1124
01:14:17,473 --> 01:14:21,328
Have you noticed that I've been kicked out
of my house and my life is falling apart?
1125
01:14:23,212 --> 01:14:25,810
Oh, yeah. Okay.
1126
01:14:28,017 --> 01:14:30,199
I gotta go.
1127
01:14:36,925 --> 01:14:39,428
Do you think I should get Botox?
1128
01:14:39,428 --> 01:14:42,164
Definitely.
-Really?
1129
01:14:42,164 --> 01:14:45,635
Uh-huh. If you wanna
lose me as your friend.
1130
01:14:45,635 --> 01:14:48,267
You're so strict.
1131
01:14:50,273 --> 01:14:52,941
I saw that bitch at school.
She actually said ''hi'' to me.
1132
01:14:52,941 --> 01:14:55,878
What did you do?
-Oh, I showed her.
1133
01:14:55,878 --> 01:14:58,580
I said ''hi'' back and smiled.
And then I just walked away.
1134
01:14:58,580 --> 01:15:01,878
She must be reeling.
1135
01:15:04,119 --> 01:15:07,290
How are the kids doing?
-They're okay.
1136
01:15:07,290 --> 01:15:11,667
He comes by to see them every day.
I just can't bear to look at him.
1137
01:15:11,694 --> 01:15:13,796
He's in that overly sweet
hangdog stage ...
1138
01:15:13,796 --> 01:15:16,498
where I could set him on fire,
and he'd thank me for it.
1139
01:15:16,498 --> 01:15:19,036
It's not a bad idea.
1140
01:15:19,134 --> 01:15:23,306
How's ''Goren the Terrible''?
1141
01:15:23,306 --> 01:15:25,773
Terribly boring.
1142
01:15:25,774 --> 01:15:28,062
He does wanna have a baby though.
1143
01:15:55,504 --> 01:15:58,907
Hey, can I have a blintze ...
this early?
1144
01:15:58,907 --> 01:16:00,888
It's all I've been thinking
about since last night.
1145
01:16:00,909 --> 01:16:04,580
It's a-It's an acceptable
crossover food, right?
1146
01:16:04,580 --> 01:16:08,417
Why do you think
we're such wiseasses?
1147
01:16:08,417 --> 01:16:12,855
Probably a good way to avoid thinking
about the fact that we're all gonna die.
1148
01:16:12,855 --> 01:16:14,836
When are you gonna get over that?
1149
01:16:14,857 --> 01:16:17,110
Um ...
1150
01:16:17,126 --> 01:16:19,487
never.
1151
01:16:19,495 --> 01:16:21,476
It's a pretty big deal.
1152
01:16:21,497 --> 01:16:24,032
You know what I think?
I think it's a good way ...
1153
01:16:24,032 --> 01:16:26,428
to avoid taking
responsibility for anything.
1154
01:16:26,535 --> 01:16:30,205
It's like, ''Hey, we're only joking, right?
We're all gonna die, right?''
1155
01:16:30,205 --> 01:16:32,494
You and me, we're missing
the biggest moments of our lives ...
1156
01:16:32,508 --> 01:16:35,390
'cause all we can talk about
is sports and blintzes.
1157
01:16:37,379 --> 01:16:39,481
It's just it's, uh ...
1158
01:16:39,481 --> 01:16:42,850
it's pretty depressing
not living with your kids.
1159
01:16:45,354 --> 01:16:47,335
Or the woman you love.
1160
01:16:49,391 --> 01:16:52,095
Or the woman that you love.
1161
01:16:52,127 --> 01:16:57,699
Just because you happen to be an immensely
flawed and selfish human being.
1162
01:16:57,699 --> 01:17:01,340
Hey, you're not so great yourself.
1163
01:17:06,241 --> 01:17:11,513
I think the blintze is fully acceptable
as a crossover food ...
1164
01:17:11,513 --> 01:17:14,324
and I would like one myself.
1165
01:17:14,416 --> 01:17:17,452
You're the man.
-No, you the man.
1166
01:17:17,452 --> 01:17:19,504
Up top.
1167
01:17:23,425 --> 01:17:25,501
I guess
the first thing I should say ...
1168
01:17:25,527 --> 01:17:29,110
is that my name is not Tobey.
1169
01:17:30,233 --> 01:17:32,214
It's Todd.
1170
01:17:32,235 --> 01:17:34,417
Hi, Todd.
1171
01:17:35,704 --> 01:17:38,574
No, it's not-It's, uh, it's Tom.
1172
01:17:38,574 --> 01:17:40,626
My name is Tom.
1173
01:17:40,642 --> 01:17:43,980
It really is, okay?
And, uh, secondly ...
1174
01:17:43,980 --> 01:17:47,916
I have-I have no relation
at all to deli meats.
1175
01:17:47,916 --> 01:17:53,231
I-I just-I just made it up to try to fit in. Um-
1176
01:17:56,458 --> 01:18:00,062
I-I don't know-
I don't know what I am ...
1177
01:18:00,062 --> 01:18:04,096
but, um, I'm pretty sure
that I have a problem.
1178
01:18:04,132 --> 01:18:08,004
Although, not as-as big
a problem as all of you seem to have.
1179
01:18:08,004 --> 01:18:11,740
Um, anybody else hot?
1180
01:18:11,740 --> 01:18:15,077
Uh, I, uh-
1181
01:18:15,077 --> 01:18:19,870
I also use humor and, uh,
complaints about the temperature ...
1182
01:18:19,882 --> 01:18:23,051
as a way of diverting attention ...
1183
01:18:23,051 --> 01:18:27,657
from the, uh,
from the very serious fact, uh ...
1184
01:18:27,657 --> 01:18:30,124
that I'm ruining my life.
1185
01:18:30,125 --> 01:18:33,495
And, uh ...
1186
01:18:33,495 --> 01:18:38,568
I just-I just thought it would do me
some good to tell my real story here today.
1187
01:18:38,568 --> 01:18:42,037
So, uh ...
1188
01:18:42,037 --> 01:18:48,043
I, uh, I come from a family
of poor peasants.
1189
01:18:48,043 --> 01:18:52,206
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just kiddin'. Um-
1190
01:19:16,138 --> 01:19:18,605
It-It's hims, again.
1191
01:19:22,411 --> 01:19:27,549
Mabel? George?
Come here, please.
1192
01:19:27,549 --> 01:19:30,085
Now Mr. Bertram
will be joining us for dinner tonight.
1193
01:19:30,085 --> 01:19:32,267
Please make the arrangements.
1194
01:19:36,425 --> 01:19:41,330
All right, Debbie.
1195
01:19:41,330 --> 01:19:45,268
Confound it,
where is that daughter of mine?
1196
01:19:45,268 --> 01:19:47,937
Oh, Daddy, I'm comin'.
1197
01:20:22,004 --> 01:20:24,056
Trust us.
-Trust us.
1198
01:20:24,072 --> 01:20:26,433
We're all about trust.
-Come on. -Turn around.
1199
01:20:26,441 --> 01:20:29,359
Okay. Here you go.
-Come on.
1200
01:20:48,497 --> 01:20:52,566
Come in.
1201
01:20:53,502 --> 01:20:56,638
Popular lady.
1202
01:20:56,638 --> 01:21:00,842
I think these are
from your husband. Again.
1203
01:21:00,842 --> 01:21:03,938
Break a leg.
-Thank you.
1204
01:21:26,601 --> 01:21:31,406
Sweetheart, I'm sorry to interrupt
your preshow cry.
1205
01:21:31,406 --> 01:21:33,731
All the best ones have 'em.
1206
01:21:39,549 --> 01:21:41,731
We're all
in this together, my dear.
1207
01:21:41,783 --> 01:21:45,787
All damned to the theater.
1208
01:21:45,787 --> 01:21:48,090
Condemned to live through our art.
1209
01:21:48,090 --> 01:21:51,561
For we do not know
how to live through our lives.
1210
01:21:51,561 --> 01:21:54,429
We are islands.
1211
01:21:54,429 --> 01:21:56,682
Francis ...
1212
01:21:56,731 --> 01:21:58,712
my director ...
1213
01:21:58,733 --> 01:22:02,771
I am a mother and a wife first
and foremost ...
1214
01:22:02,771 --> 01:22:05,866
and you should go fuck yourself.
1215
01:22:10,580 --> 01:22:12,481
Welcome to tonight's ...
1216
01:22:12,481 --> 01:22:15,637
premiere performance
of Edmund Middleton's Fifty Means.
1217
01:22:15,717 --> 01:22:18,620
Oh, these are good seats.
1218
01:22:18,620 --> 01:22:20,555
Okay.
-Enjoy the show.
1219
01:22:20,555 --> 01:22:23,792
That should be me.
1220
01:22:23,792 --> 01:22:26,817
What'd you say?
-Nothing.
1221
01:22:31,099 --> 01:22:33,839
You go on back to the house. I'll get the rest.
1222
01:22:41,576 --> 01:22:46,214
I never thought
I'd say this, but I'm happy to be home.
1223
01:22:46,214 --> 01:22:50,104
Nothing much has changed
around here, but then again, it never does.
1224
01:22:52,120 --> 01:22:54,445
I'm miserable.
1225
01:22:58,460 --> 01:23:01,615
And seein' you miserable
isn't helping any.
1226
01:23:03,431 --> 01:23:06,492
What are we gonna do?
-I don't know.
1227
01:23:10,472 --> 01:23:13,354
We gotta do somethin'.
1228
01:23:24,085 --> 01:23:27,419
There she is.
You go talk to her.
1229
01:23:27,489 --> 01:23:30,514
And you go find a pen
and a piece of paper.
1230
01:23:34,196 --> 01:23:38,265
Hey. I thought that was you.
1231
01:23:38,301 --> 01:23:40,353
Tobey.
1232
01:23:42,305 --> 01:23:46,174
Not now, okay?
-You don't return my calls.
1233
01:23:46,174 --> 01:23:50,345
I need a, uh, pen and a piece of paper.
It's an emergency.
1234
01:23:50,345 --> 01:23:53,014
Tobey, why do you
have to make this so hard?
1235
01:23:53,014 --> 01:23:55,932
Elaine, it's hard for me too.
1236
01:23:56,985 --> 01:24:00,488
Oh, my goodness!
1237
01:24:00,488 --> 01:24:03,513
Listens, I-I want you
to stop calling the houses ...
1238
01:24:03,525 --> 01:24:08,997
and, I-I want you
to stays away from her for all the times.
1239
01:24:08,997 --> 01:24:11,900
Why is everything plural
with this guy?
1240
01:24:11,900 --> 01:24:14,469
Oh, insult face to my faces?
1241
01:24:14,469 --> 01:24:16,616
Tobey.
-What?
1242
01:24:16,738 --> 01:24:20,442
This is Rebecca's night, okay?
-What? What? I know.
1243
01:24:20,442 --> 01:24:24,546
Oh, gosh. I'm sorry, I dropped the pen there.
-Oh, I'll get it.
1244
01:24:24,579 --> 01:24:26,514
Hey.
1245
01:24:26,514 --> 01:24:29,384
- Those aren't your flowers, sir.
- Y-Y-You don't understand.
1246
01:24:29,384 --> 01:24:31,851
I-I need to get these
to Rebecca Pollack backstage. So-
1247
01:24:31,886 --> 01:24:36,925
I'm sorry, she doesn't accept
stolen flowers in intermissions.
1248
01:24:36,925 --> 01:24:41,551
Oh, no. C-C-Can you at least just-
Can you get her this note?
1249
01:24:41,563 --> 01:24:44,030
I'm her husband.
Please, just give her that.
1250
01:24:44,032 --> 01:24:47,638
We're talkin' here, ''Gorens. ''
-Come.
1251
01:24:48,870 --> 01:24:51,337
I'm talkin' to her, if you don't mind.
-I do mind.
1252
01:24:51,439 --> 01:24:54,542
It's not gonna happen.
-I said I'd like to talk to her.
1253
01:24:54,542 --> 01:24:57,733
Release her.
-I'm not gonna release her.
1254
01:24:57,812 --> 01:25:00,849
Okay. Wait a minute!
1255
01:25:00,849 --> 01:25:02,960
Hey! That's not-
No running. No running.
1256
01:25:02,984 --> 01:25:05,001
Stop it!
-You ''shtop'' it!
1257
01:25:05,020 --> 01:25:07,902
Sir, there's no running in the theater.
1258
01:25:07,989 --> 01:25:11,059
Oh, my God.
1259
01:25:11,059 --> 01:25:13,061
Sir, stay right there.
There's no running in the theater.
1260
01:25:13,061 --> 01:25:15,113
There's no running in the theater.
1261
01:25:15,130 --> 01:25:18,534
We got a runner. We got a runner! Okay.
1262
01:25:19,467 --> 01:25:22,836
Oh! Pardon me.
1263
01:25:25,675 --> 01:25:27,656
West aisle.
1264
01:25:27,776 --> 01:25:29,678
Come on!
-Sorry.
1265
01:25:29,678 --> 01:25:33,011
Hey! Watch it. You're a jerk.
-Oh, God!
1266
01:25:33,081 --> 01:25:35,850
Right there, sweetheart.
-Ow!
1267
01:25:35,850 --> 01:25:39,087
Why are you sweating?
1268
01:25:39,087 --> 01:25:44,125
I saw Goren.
I pushed him into a plant.
1269
01:25:44,125 --> 01:25:46,522
I stole some flowers.
1270
01:25:46,628 --> 01:25:50,174
Oh, that sounds great. Good job.
-Yeah, you too.
1271
01:26:00,008 --> 01:26:03,511
Mrs. Pollack, final scene is up.
1272
01:26:03,511 --> 01:26:06,702
Thank you.
1273
01:26:13,822 --> 01:26:18,460
Who knows if she'll ever
come out of that room.
1274
01:26:18,460 --> 01:26:20,856
But I wouldn't blame her
if she didn't.
1275
01:26:20,862 --> 01:26:25,867
Hell, comin' back here
after so long, for what?
1276
01:26:25,867 --> 01:26:30,305
For us?
For this place?
1277
01:26:30,305 --> 01:26:34,896
Somehow, It doesn't make
a whole lotta sense to me.
1278
01:26:42,050 --> 01:26:47,622
The night air. It feels good.
-This is the last line of the play.
1279
01:26:47,622 --> 01:26:50,892
You know it does, Laura.
-So what?
1280
01:26:50,892 --> 01:26:54,641
I gotta do something.
Excuse me. Sorry.
1281
01:26:54,696 --> 01:26:58,934
I never thought I'd be able to say that again.
1282
01:26:58,934 --> 01:27:03,571
Stop it!
-Let me just get through here. Pardon me.
1283
01:27:03,571 --> 01:27:05,374
Oh!
1284
01:27:05,507 --> 01:27:09,635
Give me back my hair!
Give me my hair!
1285
01:27:10,645 --> 01:27:13,456
Stop him!
1286
01:27:13,515 --> 01:27:16,518
Ushers, full alert!
East aisle. Stage approach.
1287
01:27:16,518 --> 01:27:19,851
Stop!
1288
01:27:52,086 --> 01:27:53,421
Hey!
1289
01:27:53,421 --> 01:27:55,959
Hey!
1290
01:27:55,991 --> 01:27:58,660
Get off!
1291
01:28:05,066 --> 01:28:08,536
It's okay.
1292
01:28:08,536 --> 01:28:11,597
This is my husband.
1293
01:28:12,874 --> 01:28:15,377
This loser?
1294
01:28:18,413 --> 01:28:20,465
This loser.
1295
01:28:36,932 --> 01:28:39,185
Bravo.
1296
01:28:50,578 --> 01:28:53,176
Elaine!
1297
01:29:02,023 --> 01:29:04,349
Did you like the play?
1298
01:29:10,732 --> 01:29:14,836
Come on, let's go.
-Wait, wait!
1299
01:29:18,640 --> 01:29:21,380
You're the one for me!
1300
01:29:23,144 --> 01:29:25,914
Is this part of the play?
1301
01:29:25,914 --> 01:29:29,627
Yes, yes. Yes.
It is part of the play.
1302
01:29:29,684 --> 01:29:32,010
Uh, uh, this is the part ...
1303
01:29:33,989 --> 01:29:36,858
of the play
where we come together ...
1304
01:29:36,858 --> 01:29:39,634
and never leave each other.
1305
01:29:40,862 --> 01:29:43,097
And some-
somehow I feel like it-
1306
01:29:43,097 --> 01:29:46,157
it was written a long time ago,
and I just-
1307
01:29:47,702 --> 01:29:51,673
I just didn't trust the script,
'cause I don't wanna die.
1308
01:29:51,673 --> 01:29:54,449
What?
-Wha-
1309
01:29:54,542 --> 01:29:57,512
Why do I always
have to be equated with death?
1310
01:29:57,512 --> 01:30:00,015
I agree.
-What-Wait-
1311
01:30:00,114 --> 01:30:02,616
Th-That didn't come out right. I-
1312
01:30:06,955 --> 01:30:10,988
I don't want to be a cold,
sarcastic, blocked-off man anymore.
1313
01:30:12,160 --> 01:30:15,129
I'm not gonna be.
1314
01:30:15,129 --> 01:30:18,934
And, it's not gonna be easy ...
1315
01:30:18,934 --> 01:30:21,469
but I wanna struggle ...
1316
01:30:21,469 --> 01:30:23,451
with you.
1317
01:30:29,510 --> 01:30:34,048
I love you.
1318
01:30:34,048 --> 01:30:36,417
And ...
1319
01:30:36,417 --> 01:30:39,999
all I can do is say that
and let you do with it what you will.
1320
01:30:40,054 --> 01:30:43,157
And if you-
if you won't be with me ...
1321
01:30:43,157 --> 01:30:45,624
I can accept that.
1322
01:30:45,627 --> 01:30:50,111
'Cause l-I want you to be happy.
1323
01:30:53,735 --> 01:30:55,953
Tobey. Tobey.
1324
01:30:57,839 --> 01:31:00,074
I have tried ...
1325
01:31:00,074 --> 01:31:04,912
very hard to stop.
1326
01:31:04,912 --> 01:31:09,289
But somehow, I still love you.
1327
01:31:09,317 --> 01:31:12,186
Oh, my God. Thank God!
1328
01:31:12,186 --> 01:31:16,324
'Cause all that stuff I was saying about
being able to let you go, that was just crap.
1329
01:31:16,324 --> 01:31:19,327
I'd have to hunt you down. Who wants to
spend all their life doin' that ...
1330
01:31:19,327 --> 01:31:23,396
when there's some many other
things to do before we d-
1331
01:31:52,326 --> 01:31:54,793
Sure, I'll be right back.
1332
01:31:54,796 --> 01:31:58,099
And how are you doing here?
1333
01:31:58,099 --> 01:32:02,168
Oh, God.
Do I look fat here?
1334
01:32:03,471 --> 01:32:06,741
Which one are you?
1335
01:32:06,741 --> 01:32:09,374
You look great.
-Excuse me.
1336
01:32:09,377 --> 01:32:11,951
I don't mean to bother you ...
1337
01:32:12,013 --> 01:32:15,483
but I recognized you from your book.
1338
01:32:15,483 --> 01:32:20,221
My son and I have spent so many great days
in New York together because of you.
1339
01:32:20,221 --> 01:32:22,857
Would you sign it for me, please?
1340
01:32:22,857 --> 01:32:25,111
Sure.
1341
01:32:27,228 --> 01:32:30,498
You must be a great daddy.
1342
01:32:30,498 --> 01:32:34,001
Thank you.
We're very proud of him.
1343
01:32:34,001 --> 01:32:36,077
Oh.
1344
01:32:38,106 --> 01:32:41,109
Oh, yes. We are very proud of him.
1345
01:32:43,111 --> 01:32:45,413
Okay.
1346
01:32:45,413 --> 01:32:47,525
Here's how it's gonna go.
1347
01:32:47,616 --> 01:32:50,818
I'm gonna get up
and go into the bathroom on the left.
1348
01:32:50,818 --> 01:32:53,973
Wait one minute ...
1349
01:32:58,292 --> 01:33:00,344
and then you come in.
1350
01:33:08,402 --> 01:33:12,874
One, two, three ...
1351
01:33:12,874 --> 01:33:17,702
Seventeen, 18...
1352
01:33:17,712 --> 01:33:21,840
nineteen-Daddy will be right back.
1353
01:33:23,018 --> 01:33:28,089
Twenty-four, 25, 26...
1354
01:33:28,089 --> 01:33:30,272
Forty-three-
1355
01:33:33,895 --> 01:33:36,220
Elaine has found in Tobey ...
1356
01:33:36,230 --> 01:33:39,326
a man she can trust to love her ...
1357
01:33:39,400 --> 01:33:41,937
to be her rock-solid baseline.
1358
01:33:41,937 --> 01:33:44,806
Oh. Here we go. -In Elaine, Tobey
has found his life's melody ...
1359
01:33:44,806 --> 01:33:48,281
his grace note.
-Come on now. Thank you. Hey.
1360
01:33:48,342 --> 01:33:52,380
Do you, Tobias, take this woman to be
your lawfully wedded wife ...
1361
01:33:52,380 --> 01:33:56,417
to have and to hold, until death do you part?
-Oh ...
1362
01:33:56,417 --> 01:33:59,720
could you not mention death?
1363
01:33:59,720 --> 01:34:03,433
Uh, uh, ''as long
as we both shall live.''
1364
01:34:07,195 --> 01:34:10,255
I do.
-I do.
1365
01:34:10,332 --> 01:34:12,408
Yea!
-Whoo! Say ''booyah.''
1366
01:34:12,433 --> 01:34:14,414
Booyah!
-Booyah!
1367
01:34:16,771 --> 01:34:19,132
Put me down!
1368
01:34:21,442 --> 01:34:23,838
Hey, Tobey ...
1369
01:34:23,845 --> 01:34:26,442
I'm proud of you.
1370
01:34:34,755 --> 01:34:36,772
Heh-Hey!
1371
01:34:37,859 --> 01:34:39,840
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
1372
01:34:39,861 --> 01:34:43,999
- Hey, hey! Hey!
- Baby, baby, go, go! Get him!
1373
01:34:43,999 --> 01:34:46,667
I just got married.
Come on, that's legal.
1374
01:34:46,667 --> 01:34:51,572
I was behind the-
-That's our car!
1375
01:34:51,572 --> 01:34:53,683
Every time!
1376
01:34:53,808 --> 01:34:55,808
Every time!
1377
01:34:54,408 --> 01:34:56,317
Every time!
1378
01:35:00,047 --> 01:35:02,300
All right all you plant lovers ...
1379
01:35:02,350 --> 01:35:04,331
you people lovers,
you life lovers ...
1380
01:35:04,352 --> 01:35:07,306
this one's called "Juniper. ''
1381
01:35:07,355 --> 01:35:09,681
And it goes like this.
98315