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Original subtitles

Tonight,�on�The�Beaverton.

EMMA:�Appeasing�their�pro-life base,�Republicans�promise�to

fill�the�Supreme�Court vacancy�with�a�6�week old�Ohio�fetus.

MIGUEL:�Channeling�FDR. President�Trump�hopes�to inspire�the�nation�with

his�fireside�tweets,�and�also dying�in�office.

EMMA:�And�we�ask�our�nation's children�how�they�feel�about being�the�last�generation.

Welcome�to�The�Beaverton, the�show�where,�if�anything,

we�have�too�much�news.

-I'm�Miguel�Rivas. -And�I'm�Emma�Hunter,

The�Beaverton's�answer to�Miguel�Rivas.

The�Toronto�Police are�celebrating�tonight,

as�their�controversial carding�program�has�led

to�its�first�ever�arrest.

The�program has�been�criticized

for�disproportionately targeting�young�black�men.

However,�it�was declared�a�success

after�the�random�stop of�James�Smith,

who�had�an�outstanding�warrant

for�fleeing�arrest from�the�last�time

he�was�stopped without�probable�cause.

A�Toronto�Police spokesperson�explained,

(EMMA�READING)

"we're�still�gonna�count this�one�as�a�win."

In�a�watershed�moment, the�Government�of�Canada has�set�up

the�first�self-determining indigenous�court

to�oversee�First�Nations�laws on�reserves.

Then�appointed an�old�white�judge

to�oversee�it.

Justice�Gordon�Saxton will�be�responsible

for�interpreting 14,000�years

of�cultural�history and�oral�tradition,

something�he�says he's�ready�for�because�of�his

30�years'�experience in�corporate�mergers.

Reached�for�comment, Justice�Saxton�said,

(EMMA�READING)

"I'm�honoured�to�be the�pasty�face

"of�this�initiative, and�look�forward

"to�being�the�authority on�aboriginal�law,

"a�topic�I�think�we�went�over in�law�school,�maybe."

To�finance�now.

We�all�have�lots�of�money, but�some�people�don't�want

to�invest�it�in�companies

that�poison�rivers or�hurt�owls.

The�Beaverton's�Laura�Cilevitz joins�us

to�talk�about ethical�investing.

Good�evening,�Laura. What�is�ethical�investing?

It's�where�you�put�your�money in�companies�you�know

aren't�involved in�unsavory�activities

like�dealing�arms or�stealing�forests.

Where's�the�fun�in�that? (CHUCKLES)

That�actually�is a�really�great�question.

For�years,�ethical�investing

has�been�the�domain�of the�small�group�of�investors

who�care�more�about�breathable air�than�rate�of�return

and�want�to�make�sure

their�money�isn't�being�used to�kill�people.

It's�been�a�giant�waste of�time.

That�seems�very�cynical.

But,�shh. Listen,�Miguel.

Vortex,�the�mutual�fund

company�I've�been�raving about�all�year,

has�just�released�a�series of�ethical�mutual�funds

that�aren't�just�for Prius�drivers

and�people who�listen�to�CBC�Radio.

So,�they�invest in�green�energy�companies

and�government�bonds?

(CHUCKLES)�Not�exactly.

What�Vortex�Mutual�does is�take�your�money.

And�instead�of�investing�it in�a�disreputable�company,

say,�Halliburton,

puts�it�into a�holding�corporation.

From�there,�the�money is�mixed�with�funds

from�other�investors in�an�offshore�bank�account,

before�being�put�randomly into�one�of�six�trusts,

known�as�Friend�Hug.

This�money's�goin' on�a�sweet�ride.

Each�Friend�Hug converts�your�money

into�a�lesser-used�currency,

like�the�Swiss�Franc or�the�Thai�Baht.

Then,�unbeknownst�to�you,

that�money�is�then�invested�in a�company,�say,�Halliburton.

If�the�money�ends�up with�one�of�these

unethical�corporations�anyway,

-what's�the�point? -Mmm.

The�point�is,�Vortex's�maze of�financial�transactions

means�you�don't�know you�own�shares�in�a�company

that�did�Deepwater�Horizon.

(CHUCKLES) The�event�or�the�movie.

So,�as�far�as�you�know, you�invested�in�Greenpeace,

or�a�flock�of�birds or�something.

But�some�of�us�want�to�be�able to�sleep�at�night,�Laura.

You'll�sleep�easy on�those�silk�sheets

you�can�now�afford.

Laura,�what�about�those�of�us

who�don't�care how�we�get�rich?

Uh,�where�do�we�invest?

Well,�you�can�always�hit the�four�P's�of�profitability,

which�are�prisons,�pills, petroleum,�and�panda�faces.

That's�great.�Thanks,�Laura.

Is�society�getting�you�down? Good�news.

A�self-help�fad�once�dismissed as�old-fashioned

is�inspiring�people all�over�the�world

to�feel�good about�themselves�again.

Fascism.

Advocates�of�fascism are�screaming

that�it�improves personal�well-being

through�the�power of�negative�thinking

about�other�people.

It�also�helps�shed those�pounds

by�combining the�cardio�of�marching

with�the high-intensity�workout

of�beating�journalists.

From�Russia, to�the�Philippines,

to�the�United�States, strongman�nationalism

has�been�helping�people�take control�of�their�lives.

And�other�people's�lives.

And�is�proving�to�be�2017's answer�to�The�Secret.

After�the�break,�we�show�you how�to�turn�your�compost�bin

into�a�gross�salad�bar.

-I'd�do�that. -Yeah.�I�mean,

I'd�watch�you�do�it at�the�very�least.

NARRATOR:�Atlantic�Canada.

The�wonder,�the�majesty, the�beauty.

The�perfect�place�to�retire.

Consider�spending�your golden�years�in�the�Maritimes.

Enjoy�the�fabulous golf�courses.

Walk�the�amazing�Cabot�Trail.

When�needed, take�advantage�of�world-class

medical�facilities and�short�wait�times.

Seriously,�use�up those�medical�resources.

Go�to�town.

Take�up�all�the�hospital�beds. There�are�so�many!

Waste�nurses'�time with�your�detailed�questions

about�which�form you�have�to�fill�out,

even�though�the�forms are�very�clear.

Atlantic�Canada.

The�perfect�place for�you�to�go.

Paid�for�by�the�governments of�Ontario,�Quebec,

and�Alberta. Please�leave.

Coming�up�later.

EMMA:�A�romantic�city�worker in�Calgary�used�a�snowplow

to�write his�marriage�proposal,

leaving�dozens critically�injured.

MIGUEL:�A�basement�centipede ruins�a�perfectly�good�boner.

EMMA:�And�we'll�tell�you which�of�your�favourite�gays

is�a�secret�celebrity.

Turning�to�the�economy.

Big�changes�are�in�store for�the�freight�industry,

with�self-driving�trucks expected�to�roll�off�the�line

in�the�next�five�years.

Fortunately,�steps�are being�taken�to�protect�those

whose�livelihoods will�be�most�affected

by�driverless�technology,

the�nation's�hitchhikers.

The�new�trucks�will�be outfitted�with�sensors,

which�will�allow�them to�detect�and�stop

for�roadside�thumb�jockeys.

They'll�also�come�equipped with�pre-taped�dialogue�loops

meant�to�mimic�standard driver-hitchhiker�patter,

ranging�from�"awkward�silence" to�"preamble�to�murder."

Shipping�companies are�also�exploring

what�can�be�done�to�protect

other�transport-adjacent

careers�like�truck�stop prostitutes,

short�order�cooks,

and�those�guys�who�pick�up bottles�of�pee.

If�you've�ever�seen someone�get�hit�by�a�car,

you�know�the�damage it�can�do�to�your�windshield.

But�did�you�know�it�also�does damage�to�their�body?

That's�where�the�healthcare system�comes�in.

But�recently, Canadian�healthcare

has�dropped in�international�rankings.

To�find�out�what�we�can�do to�improve

this�vital Canadian�institution,

I�decided�to�look into�the�matter�myself.

Dr.�Gaines,

do�you�believe�Canada has�a�healthcare�crisis?

It's�more�of�a�PR�crisis.

Our�system�has�its�flaws, but�it's�important�to�remember

a�key�point�that�I�press upon�all�my�patients,

we're�still�better than�America.

With�all�due�respect, Dr.�Gaines,

isn't�this�the�same�argument

we�all�heard�seven�years�ago, when�I�was�trapped

in�an�elevator with�Michael�Moore?

Mmm.�It�remains�valid.�Uh...

But,�look.�We've�done all�we�can�with�our�budget.

Now�it's�important�to�focus on�making�Canadians

believe�we�still�have a�great�system.

-MIGUEL:�For�more�answers, I�sat�down�with�the�team... -Hi.

...tasked�with�turning this�whole�situation�around.

We've�learned�a�lot�from the�successes�in�Scandinavia.

How�to�successfully�integrate a�two-tier�system

without�allowing�the�public option�to�suffer?

No.�How�to�create�a�buzz by�putting�a�beautiful

-blonde�face�to�healthcare. -Yep.

This�isn't�about public�service.

It's�about�public�perception.

If�people�know�that�we�have the�best�healthcare

in�the�world, then�it�doesn't�have�to�be.

That's�why�this�year�all the�biggest�Canadian�celebs

will�be�enjoying�and�endorsing our�healthcare�system.

We've�got�Drake�scheduled for�a�major�cancer�scare,

which�will�coincide�with the�Raptors'�playoff�run.

Well,�this�is�a�horrible�idea,

but�I�am�curious�how�you got�in�touch�with�him.

He�doesn't�seem�to�be getting�my�emails.

When�Drake's�Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma�drops,

we'll�follow�as�he�spends eight�months

trying�to�get a�single�CT�scan�at

��ViewsFromSunnybrookOncology.

Do�you�really�think social�media

can�solve�this country's�systemic�problems?

Well,�mental�health was�blowing�up

after�Justin�Bieber's

narcissistic�personality disorder

and�its�Snapchat-documented treatment.

Mmm-hmm.

MIGUEL:�Kelsey�and�Suzie aren't�kidding�around.

They've�already�booked indie�rock�superstars

Arcade�Fire

to�play�a�series�of�ER waiting�room�concerts.

At�first�I�wasn't�certain,

but�I�think�our�new�campaign will�work�especially�well

with�Canada's�new assisted�dying�legislation.

The�audience�is going�to�love�it.

Audience?

Shouldn't doctor-assisted�suicide

be�performed�in�private?

And�miss�out�on�all�the�drama?

Imagine�watching a�terminally�ill�patient

as�they're�forced to�justify�the�cost

of�their�death to�a�panel

of�Canada's greatest�investors.

Are�you�telling�me you�wouldn't

watch�Dragon's�Den: Right�to�Die�edition?

It's�important�to�us and�the�national

healthcare�budget that�Canadians�stop�looking

at�Medicare�as�a�right and�more�of�a�prize.

Canada's�health�care�PR�system

will�be�the�most�advanced in�the�world.

No�other�country�is even�thinking�of�doing�this.

-Nice�work,�Miguel. -Thanks.

I�think�it's�a�really important�issue

to�a�lot of�Canadians.

Not�this�Canadian. I�take�care

of�all�my�healthcare�needs every�spring

when�I�fly�to�Switzerland to�have�my�blood�replaced.

With�their�next�leader being�chosen�this�spring,

the�Conservative�Party is�streamlining

the�selection�process

by�removing�the�part with�the�demon�eggs.

Candidates�will�still�have�to get�300�member�signatures,

raise�$100,000,�and�of�course, drink�a�liter�of�hot�blood

straight�from�an�ox's�neck.

But�they�will�no�longer have�to�sit

on�a�demon�egg until�it�hatches

and�recognizes�the�candidate as�its�mother.

While�the�Party�hopes�losing the�ritual�of�Zelveer

will�help�them�find a�candidate

with�more mainstream�appeal,

this�hasn't�stopped�Brad�Trost

from�hatching�several�eggs on�his�own�time.

As�manufacturing�jobs move�overseas,

Canada's�unions�seem to�be�under�threat.

The�trend�is�the�subject�of tonight's�Point/Counterpoint.

Do�we�still�need�unions

now�that�we�have�all�the�stuff unions�won�for�us?

Absolutely.�Declining�unions have�opened�the�door

to�rampant�income�inequality.

They�still�have�a�critical place�in�the�modern�world.

Counterpoint.�Yes.

Do...�Do�we�actually agree�on�something?

Yeah,�man!�Unions�are�great!

Playing�cards�with�the�boys,

gettin'�wasted�on�a�Thursday night�at�the�curling�club.

Just�like�season�two of�The�Wire.

That's...�That's�not�what unions�are�about,�Emma.

Also,�that�was the�worst�season.

Collective�bargaining�is...

Is�exactly�what's�wrong

with�organized�labour today,�Miguel.

Unions�got�all�caught�up in�the�whole

workers'�rights�thing and�they�lost�sight

of�what�really�matters.

Which�is�what?

Takin'�her�easy. Not�givin'�a�shit.

That's...�No,�no.

Emma,�unions�are�about workers'�rights

and�striking�when�the�bosses try�and�oppress�you.

Oh,�I'm�with�you�there. I�love�strikes.

-Why? -It's�a�day�off!

So,�you�don't�walk the�picket�line?

No.

You�don't�go�to�meetings or�read�the�union�newspaper?

I�don't�know. Is�that�like�Vibe�magazine?

No,�it's�not�like Vibe�magazine.

Um,�then�no.

Well,�you�pay your�dues,�right?

That's�what�the�unions fought�for,�Miguel.

The�right�not�to�pay�dues.

Wrong�again!�You�never�signed up�for�the�union,�did�you?

Wait,�the�union�just�doesn't do�that�for�me?

No!

Okay.

And�they�don't pay�your�taxes�for�you?

Well,�obviously�not!

Then�what's�the�point�of�them?

You�know�what?�You�were�right, Miguel.�Unions�suck!

-That�wasn't�my�position... -All�right,�everyone!

Miguel's�finally�won a�Point/Counterpoint.

(CHUCKLES)�Geez.

Coming�up,�the�top�five�ways

to�come�out�to�your�bros at�the�Super�Bowl�party.

I�was�deep�in�the...

(AUDIENCE�CHEERING AND�APPLAUDING)

Later�this�hour.

MIGUEL:�Shocking�photos�emerge of�the�horse�from�Heartland's

botched�plastic�surgery.

EMMA: Born�again�paleontologist

discovers�three�new�species

of�the�devil's�tricks.

MIGUEL:�And�the�cat�from the�popular�Internet�meme

can�dead�after�has cheeseburger.

Breaking�news�out�of�Israel.

We�go�now�to�Aisha�Alfa, who�is�live�on�the�scene.

Hello,�Emma. I'm�here�in�Jerusalem,

where�a�new�accord may�bring�peace

to�the�Middle�East.

A�two-state�solution has�been...

MIGUEL:�I'm�sorry,�Aisha.

Would�you�mind�throwing a�jacket�on?

What?�It's�40�degrees out�here.

I�know,�but�we're�getting some�angry�emails about�your�outfit.

People�are�uncomfortable seeing�so�much�skin.

Oh,�because�I'm in�the�Middle�East.

Uh,�no. It's�not�a�cultural�thing.

These�comments�are�coming�in from�Nova�Scotia.

Okay.�Um... As�I�was�saying,

In�moments,�we�will�hear a�joint�press�conference

from�the�Palestinian�Authority

-and�Israeli... -MIGUEL:�Uh,�sorry,�Aisha.

We're�still�getting some�negative�feedback.

Can�we�get�wardrobe in�there?�Is...

Okay,�so,�Carl from�Thunder�Bay�is,�um,

asking�for�the�jacket�to�be really�just...

On�and�maybe done�up�to�there.

(CLEARS�THROAT) The�blockade�of�the�Gaza�Strip will�be�lifted,

-and�we�can... -Oh,�and�no�makeup.

Doreen�from�Kelowna called�it�"whoreish."

Excuse�me?

Oh.�Okay,�I�think we're�good�to�go.

That�looks�good.

Great. Because�as�I�was�saying,

already�Israeli and�Palestinian�children

are�coming�together...

Ah,�shoot.�Nope.

Now�all�of�Montreal�is�finding you�prudish�and�boring.

-We�need�to�start�over�again with�a�whole�new�look. -Yeah.

You�guys,�this�is... This�is�really�important.

I�know.�It's�important to�our�viewers�that,

as�a�woman�on�TV,

you�perfectly�straddle the�virgin/whore�dichotomy.

Maybe�if�you�smiled�a�bit more�it�would�even�things�out.

Oh,�yeah.

Definitely�not�that�much.

Ugh.�What�the�fuck,�guys? Come�on!

What?�Okay,�I'll�ask�her. Aisha,�are�you�by�any�chance

-ovulating�right�now? -Oh.�(SCOFFS)

Our�male�viewers�are�tweeting that�they�can�sense�it.

The�beautiful�Aisha�Alfa, everyone.

(AUDIENCE�CHEERING AND�APPLAUDING)

-She's�so�good-looking. -She's�very�attractive.

Very�physically�pretty.

-Mmm-hmm. -Yeah.

Now�it's�time for�Beaverton�Sports.

From�the�double�plays, to�the�breakaways,

to�other�vestigial�remnants of�tribal�conflict,

here's�Luke�and�Pat.

Welcome�back�to�The Beaverton�Sports�Network.

As�friends,�colleagues, and�occasional�wife-swappers,

Pat�and�I�are�delighted to�bring�you

all�the�news�you�need�to�know

from�the�wide�world of�sports.

Let's�get�into�it.

Hopping�on�the�advanced metrics�bandwagon,

the�CFL�will�start�measuring a�new�statistic,

their�players' Uber�driver�ratings.

The�Rays�are�demanding the�city�of�Tampa

use�taxpayer�money

to�fund�the�construction of�a�new�ballpark.

City�council initially�refused,

but�backed�down�after the�Rays�ownership�group

threatened�them�with�the�giant laser�gun

the�council�built for�them�last�year.

The�NBA�has�stripped�Charlotte of�the�All-Star�Game

over�North�Carolina's anti-transgender bathroom�bill.

But�Tar�Heel�State�lawmakers are�doubling�down

by�appointing�Hornets�center Roy�Hibbert

as�the�starting genital�checker

for�the�arena�ladies'�rooms.

But�first. Alongside�trade�deadline�day,

one�of�the�most�important dates�in�the�NHL�calendar is�comin'�up.

Tuesday�is felony�deadline�day.

That�is�the�last�day teams�have�to�decide whether�to�cut�or�trade

all�players�who've�committed serious�crimes.

BSN�will�have�non-stop coverage�beginning at�10:00�a.m.

and�lasting�till�whenever the�courts�close.

Will�L.A.�hang�on�to�its�core of�prescription�medication smugglers�for�another�Cup�run,

or�will�they�finally�decide to�re-tool�with�a�fresh�batch of�juvenile�offenders?

Make�sure�to�tune�into�BSN to�find�out.

And�speaking�of�crime and�punishment,

the�jury�has�reached�a�verdict in�the�Paul�King�trial.

I�was�on�the�scene earlier�today.

I'm�standing�just�outside the�courtroom�where, moments�ago,

a�jury�found�NHL�forward Paul�King�innocent of�sexual�assault.

Mr.�King,�declared�not�guilty, how�did�you�feel�when�the�jury read�their�verdict?

Oh,�you�know,�I'm�just, uh...�I'm�just�proud of�my�whole�team.

You�know,�Elliot�Weintraub and,�uh,�Jerry�Hastings, they�got�up�there,

uh,�and�they�did the�dirty�work�necessary to�give�us�a�victory.

Were�you�worried�this�one wasn't�going�to�go�your�way?

Well,�you�know,�we,�uh, we�fought�hard, the�prosecution�fought�hard...

Uh...�You�know,�the�victim, she�fought�pretty�hard,�too, and,�uh...

Everyone�left�it all�out�on�the,�uh... The�courtroom�floor.

I,�uh,�I�think�the�fans, uh,�watching,�uh, would�really�appreciate�that.

Was�there�a�particular�moment when�you�thought you�might�lose?

Well,�you�know,�we�came�out strong�with,�uh, the�cross�examination

about�her�previous sexual�history,�which,�uh... (CLEARS�THROAT)

You�know,�it�didn't�really have�anything�to�do�with anything,�but,�uh...

We�took�the�foot�off�the�gas for�a�second

and�they�came�roaring�back with�the�DNA�evidence.�Uh...

Uh,�but�ultimately�we�were able�to�pick�it�up�and,�uh, get�out�there�and�get�the�W.

Things�got�a�little�heated between�you and�Prosecutor�Baker

when�he�called�you a�"predator�who�uses�fame to�exploit�young�women."

Do�you�bear�any�hard�feelings now�that�the�trial�is�over?

Well,�you�know,�in�a�case like�this,�uh...

You�know,�going�the�full seven�days,�it's,�uh...

Emotions�are�gonna�flare�up, you�know?

And,�uh,�Baksy... Baksy�is�a�great�guy.

You�know,�I�came�out�on�top this�time,�but,�uh...

-You�know,�next�time it's�a�whole�new�game. -Next�time?

(GASPS,�SPUTTERING)

(LAUGHING)�These�guys! You�believe�these�guys?

-These...�These�guys are�my�guys! -(LAUGHING)

Great�report,�Luke. And�let�me�just�say,�that�suit fits�you�like�a�dream.

Thanks�for�picking�it�out for�me.

That's�all�the�time�we�have. Be�sure�to�tune�into�BSN at�11:00

for�full�coverage�on the�Leafs'�plan�to�turn their�goalkeeping�woes�around

by�starting�a�promising young�hockey�tarp.

(AUDIENCE�CHEERING AND�APPLAUDING)

Welcome�back. At�The�Beaverton, we�try�and�report

on�the�news�that�affects people�all�across�the�country.

But�one�province�gets overlooked�all�too�often.

We�go�now�to�Donavon�Stinson, with�a�report

on�the�province�we�know as�the�land�of�living�skies,

Manitoba.

-Saskatchewan. -It's�the�same�thing.

(INDISTINCT)

Saskatchewan.�The�Prairies.

The�golden�fields�of�wheat.

The�province�you�haven't thought�about�since�your�grade 8�geography�final.

Long�the�flat�sister�of Alberta's�busty�cowgirl

and�Ontario's bootylicious�stepmom.

But�with�the�other�provinces all�mired�in�recession,

Saskatchewan�is�experiencing a�resource�boom that�has�many�residents�there

saying�that�the�time�is�now to�grab�the�mantle of�best�Canadian�province.

Which�begs�the�question, is�Saskatchewan�finally�having its�moment?

We�asked�New�York�Times travel�expert�Simon�Berry to�find�out.

No.

All�right,�then. Back�to�you�guys.

Thanks,�Donavon.�I�told�you we�should've�done�the�story on�Manitoba.

-Well,�when�you're�right, you're�right. -Yeah.

Speaking�of�being�right, before�we�go,

we'd�like�to�correct a�few�errors from�our�last�broadcast.

That's�right. Um,�Antonio�Guterres is�the�Secretary-General

of�the�United�Nations, and�not,�as�I�reported, the�president�of�Who�Cares.

Mine�is�less�of�an�error than�it�is�a�clarification.

Last�week,�I�referred to�myself�as�a�former�member of�SEAL�Team�6,

which�some�viewers�took to�mean�the�special�ops�team that�killed�Osama�bin�Laden.

In�fact,�I�was�referring�to my�cover�band�that�primarily sings�Kiss�from�a�Rose.

-Wow,�Miguel. -Just�a�simple misunderstanding�is�all.

-I'm�happy�to�clear�it�up. -You�called�it a�decisive�victory

in�the�War�on�Terror.

Hey,�I�defy�any�jihadist to�hate�the�West�after�hearing my�sweet�guitar�riffs.

Yeah,�I'll�never�forget where�I�was�when�I first�heard�you�play.

Speaking�of�9/11,

last�week�I�made�reference to�being�one�of�that�day's first�responders.

Please�tell�me�you�didn't�lie about�being�a�first�responder.

-Well,�I�most�certainly did�not. -Okay,�good.�(CHUCKLES)

I�was�one�of�the�very�first people�in�my�grade�10�class

to�respond�to�news�that�9/11 was�happening.

Jesus�Christ,�Miguel.

My�specific�response�was, "Oh,�no.�That's�terrible."

So,�you've�just�been inserting�yourself into�news�stories?

Just�a�simple misunderstanding.

Have�you�ever�heard�about Brian�Williams,�Stephen�Glass, Jayson�Blair?

Well,�of�course�I've�heard of�them,�Emma.

They're�in�my�cover�band, SEAL�Team�6.

We�killed�Osama�bin�Laden.

I�should�clarify, Osama�bin�Laden is�the�nickname�we�gave

to�Seal's�hit�song, Kiss�from�a�Rose.

And�we�kill�it�every�time.

All�right,�Miguel.

For�The�Beaverton, I'm�Emma�Hunter,�saying,

"If�you�see�any�news, let�us�know."

You�should�really�check out�my�band,�SEAL�Team�6.

(AUDIENCE�CHEERING AND�APPLAUDING)

(INDISTINCT�CHATTER)

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