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EMMA:�We�meet�the�secret�service agent�who�can't�believe
he's�going�to�sacrifice�his�life to�save�Donald�Trump.
MIGUEL:�Market�instability�is
what's�happening�in�the Phillippines.
EMMA:�And�Kellie�Leitch�hopes Conservatives�can�look�past
her�gender�to�see�the�racist�on the�inside.
(THEME�MUSIC�PLAYING)
MIGUEL:�Yeah,�absolutely.
Welcome�to�The�Beaverton,
Canada's�greatest�source of�news�per�square�foot.
-I'm�Miguel�Rivas. -And�I'm�Emma�Hunter,
a�division of�Emma�Hunter�Industries.
The�United�States is�still�upset�with�Russia
for�tampering�with the�2016�presidential�race,
noting�that�fixing�foreign elections�is�something
only�Americans have�the�right�to�do.
Officials�called�the�leaking of�e-mails�"bush�league"
but�stressed they�were�not�referring
to�George�H.�W.�Bush's masterful�influencing
of�the�1990 Nicaragua�election.
In�a�statement,�they�added,
(MIGUEL�READING)
"it�was�okay�because we�were�doing�it�to�protect
"American�interests."
But�is�Russia�doing�it�to protect�American�interests?
Our�sources�say, "Probably�not."
Fed�up�with�what�they�feel is�overly�negative�language
used�to�portray their�industry,
Canada's�oil�producers would�appreciate�it
if�we�all�stopped�referring to�their�product�as�crude.
According�to�a�statement,
(EMMA�READING)
"not�an�Andrew Dice�Clay�routine.
"We�ask�only�that�you�consider your�choice�of�words
"when�speaking�of�us."
Alberta's�oil�producers�have issued�a�list�of�terms
they�find�more�acceptable than�"crude�oil,"
including�"black�gold," "ground�lube,"
"viscous�fixins," and�"precious�Earth�milk."
Industry�insiders plan�to�launch
a�nationwide sensitivity�campaign
aimed�at�curbing oil-related�hate-speak,
tentatively�called, "It�Gets�Bitumen."
Good�news�for�Ontario's Progressive�Conservatives
this�week. A�recent�survey�shows
the�party�has�been out�of�office
just�long�enough�to�poll better�than�the�Liberals.
An�election�held�today�would see�the�Tories�form
their�first�government in�15�years.
It's�a�clear�sign�Ontarians have�finally�forgotten
what�a�smoldering�train�wreck
the�Mike�Harris�years truly�were.
In�a�statement,�a�Conservative spokesperson�called
the�results�encouraging, noting�that,�quote,
(MIGUEL�READING)
"have�made�Walkerton, the�teacher�strikes,
"and�the�many�other terrible�things
"you�just�remembered�we�did
"a�thing�of�the�past.
"But�if�these�polls are�any�indication,
"Ontarians�will�soon�make�them a�thing�of�the�future."
To�Prince�Edward�Island�now
for�a�new�development in�women's�health.
Our�own�Marilla�Wex�has�more.
MARILLA:�For�decades, tiny�PEI�resisted
the�mainland�trend�of a�woman's�right�to�choose.
Islanders�opted�for a�simpler�way�of�life,
where�abortions�were�as accessible�to�the�modern�woman
as�they�were�to Anne�of�Green�Gables�herself.
But�all�that�changed�last�year
when�Premier�Wade�MacLauchlan announced�the�opening
of�the�island's first�abortion�clinic.
All�hope�seemed�lost�for the�surprisingly�high�number
of�social�conservatives
who�live on�this�potato�island.
That�is,�until�they�met Gregory�Hoskins.
(CHANTING)�Your�fetus is�the�size�of�a�fingerling!
At�10�weeks, it's�a�Yukon�Gold!
Mr.�Hoskins�is
the�world's�foremost anti-choice�consultant.
Originally�from�Texas,
he�single-handedly created�the�technique
of�shouting�at�scared, pregnant�teenagers
until�they�simply�give�up and�have�the�baby.
Clearly,�the�pro-life movement�in�PEI
was�a�bit�behind�the�times when�I�got�here.
You�know,�they�didn't�even�put pictures�of�dead�babies
on�their�signs.
But�I�can't�take�all the�credit�for�our�success.
I�just�gave�them�some helpful�talking�points.
(CHANTING)�At�10�weeks, it's�a�Yukon�Gold!
PEI�is�the�birthplace of�Canada!
Would�you�have aborted�Confederation?�Eh?
At�six�weeks,
your�fetus�is�the�size of�a�fingerling!
Mr.�Hoskins�may�be a�trifle�modest.
The�organization�says�he's been�crucial�to�their�success.
He�showed�them�how�to�tailor PEI-specific�messages,
coining�phrases�such�as, "Our�soil�is�red�enough,"
and�the�ubiquitous, "Keep�your�baby.
"Don't�be�a�cheap Cape�Breton�whore."
So�these�techniques, are�they�having�any�effect?
Just�last�week,�three�women elected�not�to�abort,
and�many�more�were�stopped
when�we�called�in that�bomb�threat.
All�thanks�to�Greg.
Mr.�Hoskins�says,�while�proud of�his�accomplishments,
his�work�here�is�hardly�done.
He�intends�to�stay�for at�least�another�nine�months
while�planning�a�big�protest condemning�lazy�welfare�moms.
For�The�Beaverton, I'm�Marilla�Wex.
Thank�you,�Marilla.
Your�accent was�the�spoonful�of�sugar
that�helped�the�medicine go�down.
Air�Canada�is�facing�criticism over�a�recent�decision
to�make�emergency�air�masks available�to�passengers
only�if�they�pay with�a�valid�credit�card.
Additionally,�they�will�be adding�surcharges
for�safety�instructions, bathroom�access,
and�landing�gear.
A�spokesperson for�Air�Canada�said,
(EMMA�READING)
"although�they�should�be�aware that�there�will�be
"a�$75 regaining-consciousness�fee."
When�we�come�back, what�type�of�dog�are�you?
If�you're�watching�this, probably�a�smart�one.
You�know,�I�wonder�why�snakes
aren't�considered the�top�house�pet.
I'd�love�to�have�a�snake.
MIGUEL:�That's man's�best�friend.
WOMAN:�Keith,�time�to�get�up for�hockey�practice.
Come�on.�If�you�get�up�now,�we can�stop�at�Tim's�on�the�way.
NARRATOR:�Hockey is�our�game,�our�passion,
the�thing�that�gets�us�up in�the�morning.
But�sometimes�we�need something�other�than�hockey
to�get�going.
Tim�Hortons,�as�Canadian�as the�good�ol'�hockey�game.
For�over�50�years,
we've�been�helping�you start�the�day�right.
Rich�Canadian�flavour,
perfect�for�masking�the�taste and�smell�of�discount�whisky.
Tim�Hortons. No�one�needs�to�know.
And�be�sure�to�check�out our�new�travel�mug.
Great�for�your�secret�wine.
Toronto�commuters�were�met with�a�rude�awakening
on�the�Toronto�subway this�morning
after�a�two-hour�delay on�the�Yonge-University�line.
TTC�spokeswoman Phyllis�Langdon
explained�the�situation to�reporters.
Before�I�begin, I'm�gonna�need�you�reporters
to�move�all�the�way to�the�back.
Behind�the�white�line,�please.
Please�don't�block the�conference-room�doors.
I�can't�proceed
until�everybody stands�clear�of�the�doors.
Please�remove�your�camera�bags to�make�room�for�the�others.
I'll�just�sit�here�and�wait if�I�have�to.
Are�you�really�not�gonna�give a�pregnant�reporter�a�seat?
I'm�not�going�anywhere.
Eventually,�the�TTC�disclosed the�delay�was�a�result
of�three�commuter�deaths at�Queen's�Park�station.
To�health�news,�where a�drug-resistant�strain
of�super�gonorrhea has�doctors�concerned
that�antibiotics may�not�be�keeping�up
with�the�public's insatiable�need
for�unprotected�casual�sex.
Scientists�warn�the�rise of�Tinder�and�Grindr
has�already�created unstoppable�bugs,
like�ultra�syphilis, self-aware�herpes,
and�Tyrannosaurus rectal�warts.
If�new�antibiotics aren't�found�soon,
doctors�may�have�to�resort
to�the�drastic gonorrhea�treatments
from�the�early�20th�century,
where�men�received an�injection�of�mercury
directly�into�the�penis.
And�women�received�nothing because�who�cares.
The�long-form�census returned�last�year,
and�Canadians�filled�it�out in�record�numbers.
Here�with�more�on the�surprising�popular�piece
of�bureaucratic information�gathering
is�our�own�Aisha�Alfa.
Aisha,�it�seems�like�Canadians are�really�excited
to�complete�the�census.
Well,�after�a�10-year�absence, people�clearly�had�some�things
they�really�wanted to�get�off�their�chest.
You�mean,�things�like
how�many�people live�in�their�household,
what�their�ages�were, how�many�were�employed?
Yes,�all�of�that.
But�what�really�struck Statistics�Canada
was�the�sheer�level of�unsolicited�information
people�shared.
Everything�from which�of�their�children
they�love�the�most
to�detailed�essays on�what�they�wanted�to�be
when�they�grew�up
versus�what they�actually�became.
And�in�one�case,
some�pretty�disturbing parliamentary�fan�fiction.
Sound�like�a�case�of "too�much�information,"
like�when�you�ask�Miguel how�he�spent�his�weekend.
I�answer�honestly and�completely.
So,�Aisha,�in�the�last�decade,
the�definition�of�a�family has�changed�significantly.
Are�we�seeing�that�reflected in�the�census�data?
Definitely.
We've�seen�a�marked�uptick in�same-sex�parents,
cohabitation�of�families,
and�loads�of�information on�polyamorous�couples,
who,�frankly,�just�wouldn't shut�up�about�it.
But,�Aisha,�isn't�it useful�to�have
as�much�information as�possible
so�policy�makers have�accurate�data
about�schools,�hospitals, and�other�poor-people�stuff?
Sure,�the�government needs�to�know
which�communities are�most�at�risk
and�how�the�communities not�at�risk�feel
about�ignoring�those�people.
So,�are�you�saying�the�census wasn't�the�success
most�Canadians�think�it�was?
Well,�it�did�have�one�upside.
It�confirmed all�the�information
the�government�has�been�buying from�Facebook.
Thanks,�Aisha.
As�the�daughter�of�a�mother,
the�issue�of�women's�safety is�very�important�to�me.
It's�fortunate,�then, that�I�live�in�Canada,
which,�statistics�show,
is�one�of�the�safest�places for�women,
especially�compared to�contemporary�Sweden,
which�has�seen�a�shocking�rise in�violence�against�women.
To�investigate�what�has�gone wrong�in�the�Nordic�country,
I�decided to�visit�there�myself.
I'm�in�Stockholm,�having recently�purchased
and�assembled this�affordable�piece
of�modern, minimalist�furniture.
But�something�else�is�proving harder�for�Swedes�to�assemble,
women's�safety.
I�spoke�with�Elsa�Erikkson, women's�rights�educator.
Hopefully,�she�can learn�something
from�Canada's�shining�example.
Why�is�Sweden�falling so�far�behind�in�feminism?
I�didn't�realize�feminism is�a�competition.
Well,�it�isn't�anymore.
We've�already�won.�Have�you seen�our�prime�minister?
He's�a�total�smoke�show.
Yes,�you�objectify�and validate�your�leader
based�on�his�looks.
So�he�is�at�least�halfway to�understanding
the�plight�of�women.
But�has�he�enacted any�legislation
to�make�women's�lives�better?
I�suppose�not.
But�it�sure�feels like�he's�working�on�it.
Now,�according�to�my�numbers,
Sweden�has�become�one of�the�least�safe�places
for�a�woman.
Statistics�can�be�misleading.
Sweden�instituted a�new�law�in�2005,
expanding�the�definition of�sex�crimes
to�make�it�easier�for�a�woman to�ensure�conviction
against�her�attacker.
So�it�is�like�this.
-If�your�boss...�If�he... -Or�she.
(CHUCKLES)�Sure.
If�he�rubs�against�you every�day�for�a�year,
that�would�be�365�counts of�sexual�assault.
-Hmm. -What�would�this�be�in�Canada?
I�think�the�official�term for�it�at�the�CBC�is�"Shh."
The�so-called Swedish�rape�crisis
is�actually�an�increase in�reported�rapes.
We're�treating�sexual�assault like�the�crime�it�is.
Oh,�well,�I�guess Sweden�is�doing�pretty�great.
Is�there�anything we�can�hold�against�you?
(CHUCKLES)
Yes,�we�are�still shockingly�racist.
Oh,�fun.
Even�though�Sweden seemed�pretty�good,
I�knew�Canada�was�still�great,
so�I'm�taking�to�the�streets to�ask�Canadian�women
how�they�feel�about�living�in Trudeau's�feminist�paradise.
Oh,�excuse�me,�ma'am.
Um,�just�out�of�curiosity,
how�has�Trudeau's gender-neutral�cabinet
made�you�feel�safer as�a�woman?
Uh...�What?
Um,�excuse�me,�you,�sir.
Doesn't�it�feel�good�knowing that�your�girlfriend�is�safe?
Uh,�he's�not�my�boyfriend.
I�just�asked�him to�walk�me�home
because�there�was�a�guy harassing�me.
Oh.�Well...�Um...
While�these�particular�few women�had�bad�experiences,
I�was�sure�statistics would�confirm
what�we�all�know�in�our�heart about�this�great�land,
so�I�sat�down with�Harold�Smulders,
a�rape�prevention�advocate.
Rape�ruins�lives.
The�ramifications�ripple
through�a�person's entire�being,
causing�anxiety,�depression, loss�of�swimming�scholarships.
So�what�is�Canada�doing�to keep�its�rape�numbers�so�low?
Ah!�Well,�the�government has�worked�for�decades
to�make�sure�that�reporting sexual�assaults
is�extremely�confusing and�traumatic.
Plus,�any�woman that�does�come�forward
can�expect�to�be�shamed
by�the�helpful�folks on�Twitter...
But�victim�blaming and�rape�culture...
Excuse�me. Please,�don't�interrupt
while�I'm�explaining how�rape�prevention�works.
-Right. -Thank�you.�Um...
Where�was�I?�Uh...�Oh!
We�all�want�to�keep�Canada's assault�numbers�low,�right?
So�we�worked�very�hard�to keep�the�rape-reporting�stats
at�about�4.5%,
which�accomplishes basically�the�same�thing.
Sorry,�uh,�4.5%?
Oh,�yeah,�I�know.�It's�great.
Uh,�470,000�self-reported rapes�in�2011.
But�only�22,000 reported�to�the�police.
Oh,�and�since�our�criminal defense�system
heavily�favours�the�accused,
there�were�only 1,610�convictions.
-This�is�terrifying. -Why?
You�live�in�the�most statistically�safe�country
on�Earth.
Have�you�seen�the�numbers in�Sweden?�Oh,�they�are�scary.
-Thank�you�for�this. -Oh,�you're�very�welcome.
-We�just�want�to�help. -Yeah.
Coming�up�later,
Corruption�in�India is�at�an�all-time�low,
according�to a�$12�billion�study.
MIGUEL:�A�popular Halifax�community�garden
produces�a�bumper�crop of�used�condoms.
EMMA:�And�in�a�sports�first, all�the�teams�won�last�night.
Canada�has�a�robust�history of�celebrated�authors.
Yet�none�of�them�have�taken a�hard,�honest�look
at�our�nation as�it�reaches�a�crossroads.
Like�I�have,�in�my�book.
You're�a�Stupid�Baby: How�Canada's�Foreign�Policy
Has�Left�Us�Vulnerable to�Explosions
examines�how�we're�shooting ourselves�in�the�foot
by�not�producing�more�tanks, guns,�and�bombs.
That's�a�controversial position.
Indeed.
And�to�satisfy�the�people who�this�doesn't�appeal�to,
I've�written�a�different�book,
A�Nation�of�Hitlers:
How�the�Military Industrial�Complex
Has�More�Bullets�Than�Brains.
Both�sides�of�this�discussion need�to�be�heard,
and�I�am�thrilled�to�be the�one�to�do�it.
But�which�side�are�you actually�on?
The�right�side�of�history.
Fashion,
it's�more�than�just�a�thing our�co-worker�Emma
aggressively�mocks�us�for.
With�an�inside�look at�Canada's�clothing�industry,
here's�our�own�Laura�Cilevitz.
LAURA:�Canada's�once�powerful manufacturing�sector
has�dwindled�significantly
since�the�benefits of�free�trade
somehow�stopped�reaching the�working�class.
But�one�company is�taking�a�stand
against�outsourcing to�third-world�countries.
Jill�Crisp�is�the�CEO and�namesake
of�Canada's�most�successful pharmacy-based�retailer.
She�says she's�always�felt�guilty
about�how her�products�are�made.
I�visit�our�factories in�Bangladesh,
and�I�see�kids�working 18-hour�days,
and�I�think�that's�not�right.
Those�jobs�should�be going�to�Canadians.
Excuse�me,�Ms.�Cwisp.�We�just had�a�industwial�uh-oh.
Then�go�tell�HR,�Casper.
Who's�that?
My�soon-to-be�ex-foreman.
LAURA:�Despite�offering
a�comprehensive�health�care plan�of�kisses
for�ouchies�and�boo-boos,
Jill�Crisp's�factory�was shut�down�by�the�government
later�that�day.
This�injustice�made�it�clear
that�the�Ministry of�Labour�values
the�health�of�our�children
over�the�health of�our�economy.
But�we�can�always make�more�kids,
we�can�only�have�one�economy.
But,�true�to�her entrepreneurial�spirit,
Crisp�refused�to�give�up, going�back�into�business
by�tapping�into this�country's�largest
unmonetized�natural�resource,
the�thousands�of�refugees living�here�right�now,
desensitized to�inhumane�conditions
and�completely�unfamiliar with�local�labour�laws.
Our�nation's�consumers can�take�pride�in�knowing
the�clothes�on�their�backs were�made�right�here
by�the�very�refugees we�saved�from�oppression.
Because�if�there's�one�thing Canadians�love
even�more�than�human�rights, it's�affordable,�fun�fashion.
For�The�Beaverton, I'm�Laura�Cilevitz.
Thanks,�Laura. When�we�come�back,
we'll�check�in�with our�Yellowknife�correspondent
for�the�first�time in�five�years.
You�know,�I�wonder what�he's�up�to.
Well,�I�wonder�who�it�is.
-Yeah. -Is�it�a�boy�or�a�girl?
-Whoa! -I've�never�seen...
Welcome�back.
Now�it's�time�to�check�in with�Dave�Barclay
for�the�latest in�all�things�technology.
Thanks,�Miguel.
How�many�times have�you�found�yourself
watching�a�movie, and�asked�yourself,
"Who�is�that�guy?
"Is�he�from�that�thing?
"And�what�terrible�thing�is�he alleged�to�have�done?"
I�wonder�about�that all�the�time.
Well,�say�hello�to�No-Stalgia,
the�new�app�that Palo�Alto�insiders�are�calling
the�Shazam�for�horrific celebrity�revelations.
How�does�it�work?
It�uses voice-recognition�software.
You�just�turn�it�on�while you're�enjoying�a�movie
or�some�music,
and�within�seconds No-Stalgia�will�give�you
a�detailed�rap�sheet
of�all�the�awful�acts committed�by�everyone
you're�listening�to and/or�watching.
With�a�library�of�over�700,000 celebrity�atrocities,
you'll�never�accidentally enjoy�a�Sean�Penn�film�again.
Oh,�no!�What�did�he�do?
Aside�from�Gangster�Squad?
You'll�have�to�buy�the�app to�find�out.
I�kind�of�liked Gangster�Squad.
(CHUCKLES)�Well, you�won't�after�this.
And�you�sure�won't�enjoy the�works�of�Terrence�Howard,
Mark�Wahlberg,�or�the classic�movie�Annie�Hall.
What�did�Diane�Keaton�do?
Oh,�right,�that�guy.
Is�there�any�concern�that, with�using�this�app,
it's�going�to�make�people very�uncomfortable
with�the�idea that�these�celebrities
are�still�walking�the�street?
Well,�luckily, No-Stalgia's�developer
has�also�created a�new�GPS�app,
Holly-Won't.
This�app�keeps�track of�which�celebrities
are�shooting,�recording,
or�just�prowling around�your�neighbourhood.
For�instance,�Emma, this�is�your�address.
Oh,�my�God.
How�am�I supposed�to�go�for�a�run
without�fear�of�a�famous�actor or�director�leaping�out
of�the�bushes�at�me?
This�app�only�tracks major�felonies,�right?
Not,�like,�stealing a�pack�of�gum
from�a�convenience�store
just�to�feel�alive�for�once in�your�workaday�life.
Miguel,�don't�worry.�This�app only�tracks�celebrities.
Thanks,�Dave.
It's�hard�to�believe, but�this�episode�has�been
on�the�air for�nearly�20�minutes.
It's�been�a�wild�ride of�highs�and�lows,
tears�and�laughter, and�at�least�one�pregnancy.
Please�join�us in�taking�a�look�back
at�the�episode that�changed�it�all.
This�episode.
It�was�a�magic�start
to�an�episode many�are�calling�very�good.
There�were�moments that�captured�our�hearts.
A�spokesperson for�Air�Canada�said,
(EMMA�READING)
EMMA:�And�moments that�filled�our�hearts
with�disappointment.
I'm�Miguel�Rivas.
Facts,�news,�teamwork, commitment,�and,�at�times,
incoherent�nonsense.
What�type�of�dog�are�you?
Thank�you�for�inviting�us into�your�homes
all�these�minutes.
It's�been�a�pleasure from�start...
Welcome�to�The�Beaverton.
...to�finish.
For�The�Beaverton, I'm�Emma�Hunter.
I'm�Miguel�Rivas.
And�as�always, I'm�Chet�Connington,
saying�good�evening, and�bonne�chance.
What�an�incredible journey,�Miguel.
-Sure.�Question. -Yeah.
Who�the�hell is�Chet�Connington?
I�thought�you�knew�him.
Also,�how�did�you�get the�footage�of�us�signing�off?
We�haven't�done�that�yet!
Yeah,�yeah.�The�camera�guy owed�me�a�favour.
Well,�that�doesn't�explain...
For�The�Beaverton, I'm�Emma�Hunter.
I'm�Miguel�Rivas.
And�as�always, I'm�Chet�Connington,
saying�good�evening and�bonne�chance.
Why�does�he�do�this�thing?
Some�people�thought I�shouldn't�end�the�show
by�saying�"bonne�chance."
They�actually�thought I�should�end�it
by�saying�good�luck.
MIGUEL:�There�are�bees coming�out�of�his�mouth.
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