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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,166 --> 00:00:00,196
ni
2
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nigh
3
00:00:00,233 --> 00:00:00,273
night
4
00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:00,426
night�on
5
00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:00,473
night�on
Th
6
00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:00,497
night�on
The
7
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:00,530
night�on
The�Be
8
00:00:00,533 --> 00:00:00,573
night�on
The�Beav
9
00:00:00,567 --> 00:00:00,597
night�on
The�Beaver
10
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:00,630
night�on
The�Beaverto
11
00:00:00,633 --> 00:00:00,673
night�on
The�Beaverton.
12
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:03,567
night�on
The�Beaverton...
13
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,707
MIGUEL:�Donald�Trump�refuses�to
e
.
14
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:13,054
EMMA:�Republicans�reveal�their
new�health�care�plan;
15
00:00:13,079 --> 00:00:16,919
getting�paid�$50�to�be�part�of
a�medical�research�study.
16
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,620
MIGUEL:�And�Conservative
leah
17
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:21,721
Mike�Harris�on�how�to�better
alienate�Ontario.
18
00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:23,861
(THEME�MUSIC�PLAYING)
19
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,639
Welcome�to��The�Beaverton,
20
00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,810
Canada's�most
award-worthy�broadcast.
21
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,640
I'm�two-time
Pulitzer�Prize-winner,
22
00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:43,835
Emma�Hunter.
23
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,677
I'm�Miguel�Rivas
and,�no,�you're�not.
24
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:50,184
Once�again,�Canada
has�topped�another�UN�ranking.
25
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,686
According�to�the�study,�Canada
is�the�best�place�in�the�world
26
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,819
to�be�discriminated�against.
27
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,524
The�report�considered
factors�such�as,
28
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,156
availability�of
low-paying�jobs
29
00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,731
for�overqualified�immigrants,
30
00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:02,859
and�easy�access
to�racialized�ghettos.
Said�the�report...
31
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,326
(READING)
32
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,267
"...with�a�half-smile,
33
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,641
"and�an�impression�so�subtle,
34
00:01:09,669 --> 00:01:13,339
"you'll�barely�notice�it
until�you�apply�for�a�raise."
35
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:16,013
In�health�news,
with�wait�times�on�the�rise,
36
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:18,852
the�popularity�of�home�births
has�opened�the�door
37
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,108
for�a�new�medical�trend
in�Canada...
38
00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:22,717
Home�surgeries!
39
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,849
Advocates�of�home�surgery
point�to�its�many�benefits.
40
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,515
Choice�of�your�own�anesthetic,
41
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,264
the�ability�to�perform�surgery
42
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:32,429
from�the�comfort�of�your�own
ice-filled�bathtub,
43
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,759
the�free�parking.
44
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,603
For�those
who�require�assistance,
45
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,128
there�are�always
home�surgery�doulas
46
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:40,474
who�will�teach�you
breathing�exercises
47
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,440
and�whisper�the�untold
secrets�of�mother�Gaea�to�you,
48
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,610
as�you�DIY
your�gastric�bypass.
49
00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:49,879
Plus,�you�can�scrub�in
whenever�you�want,
which�is�important,
50
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:54,779
because�nobody�removes
their�appendix�properly
on�the�first�try.
51
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,984
The�government�of�Canada
issued�a�warning�today
about�a�dangerous�condition
52
00:01:58,017 --> 00:01:59,717
that�seems�to�be
spreading�farther�north,
53
00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,122
thanks�to�global�warming.
54
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,524
White�guys�wearing
shorts�all�winter.
55
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:06,026
So�far,�only�young,
white�men�can�be�infected.
56
00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,629
Symptoms�include�goatees,
57
00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,560
screaming,�"Whoo!"
while�walking�to�a�bar,
58
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,997
enjoying�music�styles
that�end�in�"core"
59
00:02:13,032 --> 00:02:16,242
and�loudly�swearing
at�your�own�dog�in�public.
60
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,639
In�a�bid�to�curb�the�continued
spread�of�the�epidemic,
61
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,071
Health�Canada�is�now�issuing
a�nationwide�recall
62
00:02:21,107 --> 00:02:22,337
of�AXE�body�spray.
63
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,310
Oppression�based�on�class
64
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,705
is�an�everyday�reality
for�many�Canadians.
65
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:30,217
Our�own�Laura�Cilevitz,
met�with�just�one
66
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:32,550
to�explore�how�classism
strikes�to�the�core
67
00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:34,415
of�so�many�of�our�lives.
68
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,385
LAURA:��Today,�as�much�as�ever,
69
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:39,433
the�social�divide
between�rich�and�poor
70
00:02:39,459 --> 00:02:42,359
has�been�a�source
of�incalculable�heartbreak.
71
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:45,595
One�of�its�victims
is�Martin�Shkorsky.
72
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,902
Once�one�of�Canada's
wealthiest�people,
73
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:51,344
the�board�of�his�company
voted�to�cap�his�CEO�bonus.
74
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:54,941
Now,�Martin�is�forced�to�get
by�on�just�the�yearly�salary
75
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:57,544
of�an�average�Canadian,
per�day.
76
00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,447
It�must�have�been�shocking�to
go�from�the�top�of�the�world,
77
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,020
to�living�on�just
$35,000�a�day?
78
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:07,489
Oh,�yeah,
it�was�a,�uh,
humbling�experience.
79
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,490
LAURA:��Martin's�swimming�pool
used�to�be�filled�with
pristine�glacial�water.
80
00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:14,864
Now,�it's�just
common�bottled�water.
81
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:19,334
He's�had�to�replace�his
backyard�masquerade�orgies,
with�regular�orgies.
82
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,440
And�here�we�are.
83
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:25,738
This�is�where
we�used�to�stage
peacock�fights,�but...
84
00:03:27,073 --> 00:03:29,313
Can't�do�that�anymore,
you�know?�It's�a�shame.
85
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,512
Rodrigo�never�got�the�chance
to�defend�his�title.
86
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,584
Aw...
87
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,418
(COUGHS)
88
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:38,319
The�hardest�part�must�have
been�selling�your�lake�house
89
00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,691
and�your�other�lake�house.
90
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,990
Oh,�yeah,�and�all�I�have�left,
is�this�place
and�my�house�on�the�lake.
91
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:48,934
I�also�had�to�sell�all
of�my�Nazi�artwork
on�the�onyx�market.
92
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:51,162
Do...�Do�you�mean
the�black�market?
93
00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,469
I�never�thought�of�it
that�way.
94
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,270
I�guess�I'll�have�to�start
using�the�black�market
95
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,043
like�a�common...
96
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,172
(SIGHS)�One�percenter.
97
00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:04,537
LAURA:��Only�two�or
300�pay-checks�away,
from�living�on�the�street,
98
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,147
Martin�continues
to�struggle�on.
99
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,780
Although�he�doesn't�have
much�belief�in�the�future,
100
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,816
he�hopes�his�story
will�warn�others
101
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:14,791
about�the�brutality
of�income�inequality.
102
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:18,491
For�The�Beaverton,
I'm�Laura�Cilevitz.
103
00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:21,234
Thanks,�Laura.
We're�all�looking�forward
to�your�future�report�on,
104
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:24,531
"How�to�best�train
a�champion�peacock�fighter."
105
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,434
Last�year,
the�Canadian�Space�Agency
began�recruiting
106
00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:28,366
its�next�two�astronauts.
107
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:31,571
This�came�as�a�surprise
to�Canada's
two�existing�astronauts,
108
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,884
who�were�selected
in�2009�and�still
haven't�been�to�space.
109
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:38,008
A�spokesperson
for�the�Canadian�Space�Agency,
110
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,614
however,�told��The�Beaverton...
111
00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:43,276
(READING)
112
00:04:43,316 --> 00:04:45,046
"...about�the�whole
space�thing.
113
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,024
"There�are�plenty�of
astronaut�things�to�do,
114
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:50,063
"right�here�on�Earth,�like,
training�new�astronauts."
115
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:51,619
Current�astronauts,
Jeremy�Hansen
116
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,028
and�David�Saint-Jacques
were�unavailable�for�comment,
117
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,900
as�they�are�currently�busy
with�their�duties
118
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:59,368
on�their�junior�high
science�fair�speaking�circuit.
119
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,069
After�the�break...
Can�your�zodiac�sign
120
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:04,640
tell�whether�or�not
you're�the�Zodiac�Killer?
121
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,871
That's�interesting�because
the�Zodiac�Killer,
122
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,206
I�thought,�was�my�father.
123
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,806
I�was�just�about�ready
to�give�up�on�dating.
124
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:15,715
The�dating�sites�just�give�you
a�picture�and�a�paragraph.
125
00:05:15,748 --> 00:05:18,818
I�needed�something�more
pseudoscientific.
126
00:05:21,387 --> 00:05:23,857
That's�why�we�decided�to�try
PhrenHarmony.com,
127
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,630
the�world's�first
phrenology-based
dating�service.
128
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,573
Hello!�I'm��Herr�Doktor�Wilhelm
Krantz�von�Falcongrasp,
129
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,869
founder�of�PhrenHarmony.com.
130
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:39,472
We�match�you�with�the�29
dimensions�important�for�love.
131
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,765
Like,�skull�angle�gradient,
132
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:44,738
criminality
und�concentrativeness.
133
00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:47,147
Based�on�her
cranial�physiognomy,
134
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,950
Karen�is�the�sweetest,
funniest�person�I've�ever�met.
135
00:05:50,983 --> 00:05:52,753
DR.�FALCONGRASP:��Stop
scrolling�through�profiles
136
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:55,415
hoping�to�find�someone
you're�amative�with.
137
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,585
Sign�up�for�PhrenHarmony.com
138
00:05:57,623 --> 00:06:02,263
und�meet�the�person�who�is
your�biological�destiny.
139
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,755
DR.�FALCONGRASP:��The�skull
wants�what�the�skull�wants.
140
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:07,727
It�all�starts�with
your�craniometric�profile.
141
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:11,937
A�$50�value,�yours�free,
when�you�visit�my�laboratory.
142
00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,591
Coming�up�later�this�hour...
143
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,360
MIGUEL:��Stephen�Harper
pays�Goldman�Sachs
144
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,129
$200,000�to�listen
to�his�speech.
145
00:06:32,158 --> 00:06:34,528
EMMA:��In�entertainment�news,
musician�Bon�Iver
146
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,130
is�gearing�up�for
peak�sad�season.
147
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,673
MIGUEL:��And�in�a�new�poll,
Regina's�been�named
the�top�city�in�Canada
148
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,070
by�giggling�eighth�graders.
149
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,467
With�the�price
of�crude�stagnating,
150
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,076
Alberta's�oil�sands
continue�to�struggle.
151
00:06:49,108 --> 00:06:51,578
In�response,�the�province's
petroleum�producers
152
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,051
are�moving�away�from�oil
153
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,349
to�better�exploit
the�untapped�value�of�sand.
154
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:58,482
So�Novus�has�struck
a�deal�with�China
155
00:06:58,518 --> 00:07:01,018
to�provide�8,000,000
units�of�oil�sand�bags
156
00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:02,693
to�combat
the�inevitable�flooding,
157
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,622
from�rising�ocean�levels.
158
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,257
Imperial�Oil,�meanwhile,
has�launched�a�new�line
159
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,133
of�Athabasca�hour�glasses
160
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,802
to�count�down�the�hours
until�CO2�levels
161
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:15,941
turn�the�Earth�into�an
uninhabitable�hell-scape.
162
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:18,698
Finally,�Suncor�will�use�their
remaining�subsidies
163
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,138
to�open�a�theme�park,
164
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:23,413
where�they�invite�you�to�view
the�tar�sandcastle�exhibit,
165
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,383
ride�the�wackiest�teetertotter
this�side�of�the�Rockies
166
00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:29,752
or�splash�around�the�tailing
pond�with�their�mascot,
167
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,552
Slick,�the�oil-soaked�owl.
168
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:35,123
Turning�to�the�United�States,
169
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:36,724
a�white�defendant
was�acquitted�today
170
00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,586
in�the�assault�of
an�African-American�man,
171
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,564
after�mounting�what�legal
experts�are�calling,
172
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:44,933
the�first�successful�use
of�the,�"Hey,�what�about�black
on�black�violence"�defense.
173
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:48,204
The�defense's�theory,�first
advanced�by�users�of�4chan,
174
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:51,474
posits�that�because
black�on�black�violence
is�the�real�issue�here,
175
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,414
that�any�instance�of
white�on�black�violence,
176
00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,339
is�legally�null�and�void.
177
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:57,784
Defense�counsel's�closing
statement�read�as�follows.
178
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,310
(READING)
179
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:04,875
"Specifically,�black�people
kill�black�people.
180
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,817
"In�summation,�all�lives
matter,�so�you�must�acquit."
181
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,889
Now�it's�time�to�check�in
with�Dave�Barclay
182
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,534
for�the�latest
in�all�things�tech.
183
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,074
Thanks,�Emma.
184
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,499
Move�over,�Fitbit.
185
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,074
There's�a�new�fitness�app�in
town�that�can�tell�you�exactly
186
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:26,273
how�many�steps�you�have�left
until�you�die.
187
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,680
What?�How�could�it
possibly�know�that?
188
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:33,009
Its�advanced�algorithm
takes�into�account
a�multitude�of�factors
189
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,275
including�heart�rate,
caloric�intake,
190
00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:38,724
and�your�proximity
to�neighborhood�stranglers.
191
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:41,951
For�instance,�Miguel,
I�put�your�information
into�the�system,
192
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:45,388
and�it's�telling�me�that�you
have�100,000�steps�to�go
before�you�die.
193
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:47,364
Well,�that�doesn't
sound�like�a�lot!
194
00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:49,733
Well,�even�the�most
sedentary�person
195
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:53,802
takes�3,000�steps�a�day
and�you,�sir,�are�a�pacer.
196
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,203
-So,�wait.�Does�that...
-(LAUGHS)
197
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:57,074
Does�that�mean
I�only�have�33�days�left?
198
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,843
-Moving�on...
-When�the�hell�am�I�gonna�die?
199
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,912
Look,�it's�not
a�crystal�ball,�Miguel.
200
00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,841
Unlike�this�next�app.
It's�called�Snap�Death.
201
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,747
It's�a�new�filter
that�shows�you
202
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,779
exactly�what�you're
going�to�look�like
in�the�moment�you�pass�away.
203
00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,545
For�instance,�I�took�the
liberty�of�snapping
204
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:14,154
a�pic�of�Miguel�earlier,
and�with�the�filter�applied,
205
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:15,416
it�looks�like�this.
206
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,627
What's�on�the�other�side
of�that�camera?
207
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:23,429
Oh,�you�need�to�purchase
the�in-app�upgrade
to�find�that�out.
208
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:25,772
No,�it's�not�even�worth�it.
209
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,928
-What?
-But�the�app�does�come�with
210
00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,667
a�free�feature�that�tells
you�exactly�where
you're�going�to�be�buried.
211
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,203
For�example,�here's�Miguel.
212
00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:36,176
Aw,�that�looks�to�peaceful!
That's�nice.
213
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,778
Is�that...
Is�that�my�backyard?
214
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,910
Ooh!�I�don't�know,�Miguel.
Trouble�in�paradise?
215
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,581
EMMA:�Thanks,�Dave.
216
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:46,147
Now�let's�go
to�Donavon�Stinson
217
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:49,115
with�a�special�report
on�the�aftermath
of�the�cancellation
218
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,985
of��Much�Music's�beloved
weekend�dance�party,
219
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,594
Electric�Circus.
220
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:54,656
Donavon?
221
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,295
To�a�generation�of�Canadians
who�came�of�age�in�the�'90s,
222
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,138
Electric�Circus�was
a�cultural�touchstone.
223
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,544
But�behind�the�vinyl
bodysuits�and�leather�chokers
224
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,846
lay�something�truly,
truly�tacky.
225
00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,176
For�more�than�15�years,
226
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:17,424
the�show�captured
the�city's�club�kids
227
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,090
and�locked�them�in�cages
and�forced�them�to�perform
for�the�amusement
228
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,389
of�the�nation's
curious�pubescents.
229
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,931
Even�for�a�country
whose�history�includes
wartime�internment�camps,
230
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,958
this�was�unspeakably�cruel.
231
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:31,304
Then,�in�2003,�the�network
bowed�to�public�pressure
232
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:33,800
and�released�the�dancers
back�into�the�wild.
233
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:37,043
Since�then,�little�is�known
about�how�these
once�captive�creatures
234
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:39,009
have�adjusted
to�life�on�the�outside.
235
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:42,538
So�I�reached�out�to�a�woman
who�knows�all�too�well.
236
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,375
Jane�Masterson
is�a�wildlife�expert
237
00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:47,150
who�runs�an�animal
sanctuary�in�Aurora,�Ontario.
238
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:48,879
For�the�past�13�years,
239
00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:50,654
she's�been�helping�former
Electric�Circus��dancers
240
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:54,893
like�Kiki,�reintegrate
into�a�society�that
no�longer�accepts�them.
241
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,660
JANE:��Well,�most�people
think�that�just�freeing
these�creatures
242
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,260
-is�the�end�of�it.
-DONOVAN:��Mmm-hmm.
243
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,731
But�if�they�have
the�basic�skills�needed
to�function�in�society,
244
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,401
they�wouldn't�have�wound�up
on�the��Electric�Circus
245
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:06,469
-in�the�first�place.
-Yeah,�you're�right.�Yeah.
246
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,799
Hi!�I'm�Jane.
Nice�to�meet�you.
247
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,735
Your�name�is?
248
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,141
DONAVON:�Jane�says�she�felt
a�personal�responsibility
249
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,883
to�help�these
imprisoned�dancers
250
00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:18,578
after�her�parents�had�taken
her�to��Electric�Circus
251
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,051
for�her�ninth�birthday,
252
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,679
where�she�saw�first-hand
what�happens
253
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:24,424
to�these�poor�souls,
if�they�stop�dancing.
254
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,690
-No.
-No!�No.
255
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,149
No.�God�damn�it!
256
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,157
-No!�Stop!�Stop,�Kiki!
-She's�chasing�me�again.
257
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,219
So�what�did�happen�then?
258
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:33,928
Why�don't�you�ask�Master�T?
259
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:35,159
Donavon�Stinson�with
The�Beaverton.
260
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,604
How�are�you�today?�Nice�to...
261
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:40,398
It's�important�that�you�know
262
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,643
I�had�nothing
to�do�with��Electric�Circus.
263
00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:44,098
I�hosted��Da�Mix.
264
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:45,836
Okay,�but�you...�You�knew
what�was�going�on?
265
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,871
-I�mean,�there�was�rumors.
-Mmm-hmm.
266
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:49,337
But�my�bosses�assured�me.
267
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,875
They�stopped�cattle�prodding
the�dancers�back�in�'97.
268
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,251
Sorry?�Cattle...�Cattle�prods?
269
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:56,019
-You�know,�cattle�prods.
(BUZZING)
-I�know�what�a�cattle...
270
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,818
Was�there�any�truth
to�the�accusations
271
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:00,120
that�these�dancers�were
locked�to�their�enclosures
272
00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,692
using�glow�sticks?
273
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,821
I�mean,�you�just�pop�off�those
plastic�connectors.�Come�on!
274
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,527
-That's�a�good�point.
-They�always�treated�those
275
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,129
kids�like�royalty,
the�same�way
I�treat�my�daughters.
276
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:11,261
-Oh,�you�have�daughters?
-GIRL:�Can�I�go�outside?
277
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:15,197
Sure�you�can,�soon�as�you
finish�your�ecstasy.
278
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,974
DONAVON:��Still,�Jane�says
the�damage�has�been�done.
279
00:12:18,003 --> 00:12:21,143
I've�worked�with�some
pretty�traumatized�creatures
in�my�day.
280
00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:23,583
Marineland�whales,
Moscow�circus�bears,
281
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,709
James�Cameron's�assistants.
282
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,214
(GRIMACES)
283
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,245
JANE:�But�none�of�that
compares�to�these
poor�bastards.
284
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:37,220
No!�Is�there�any�hope�for
rehabilitation�and�release?
285
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:40,486
JANE:�Sadly,�very�little.
But�you�never�know.
286
00:12:40,526 --> 00:12:42,496
-Sometimes�you�get�lucky.
-DONOVAN:�Yeah.
287
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,559
Kiki?
288
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:48,701
Who�wants
to�go�to�Berlin,�huh?
289
00:12:48,734 --> 00:12:49,844
DONAVON:��While
we�were�filming,
290
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,169
a�German�electronica�venue
291
00:12:51,203 --> 00:12:53,873
reached�out�to�Jane's
Adopt-a-Partier�service.
292
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:55,806
JANE:�Come...
293
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:57,581
DONAVON:��Unlike
many�of�her�fellow
Electric�Circus��performers,
294
00:12:57,610 --> 00:13:01,210
Kiki�avoided�a�visit
to�the�big�EDM�festival
in�the�sky,
295
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:02,677
and�instead,
296
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,945
found�a�place�in
Berlin's�techno�scene,
297
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,694
where�she�can�finally�be
with�her�own�kind.
298
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,120
For�The�Beaverton,
I'm�Donavon�Stinson.
299
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,027
Thanks,�Donavon.
Later�tonight,
300
00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:15,388
our�parenting�expert
shows�you�"Five�sure�signs
301
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:17,627
"your�designer�baby
is�actually�a�knock-off."
302
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:23,268
Well,�that's�interesting
because�why�would�you
design�your�own�baby?
303
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:36,176
Later�this�hour...
304
00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,175
EMMA:��The�nation's
dog�spiders
305
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,817
are�still�biding�their�time
until�next�summer's
startling�season.
306
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,324
MIGUEL:��West�Jet
and�Air�Canada
307
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:47,485
have�denied�colluding
to�fix�prices�in�a�joint
press�conference.
308
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:50,426
EMMA:��And�our�beauty�expert
will�show�you
how�to�look�fuckable
309
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:51,602
while�you�give�birth.
310
00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:57,601
Up�first...�Well,�you've�all
tuned�into�the�news
311
00:13:57,636 --> 00:14:00,006
for�the�glamorous
world�of�Hollywood,
312
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:01,439
where�the�lights�are�bright
313
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:04,843
and�committing�statutory�rape
doesn't�affect�your�career.
314
00:14:04,877 --> 00:14:08,307
It's�time�for
Entertainment�Right�Now,
Canada.
315
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,217
MAZIN:��Coming�up�on
Entertainment�Right�Now,
Canada...
316
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,450
Production�stalls�on�the�new
Leonardo�Di�Caprio�film
317
00:14:14,486 --> 00:14:17,486
as�the�lead�actresses
keep�turning�25.
318
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,993
EMMA:��In�a�win�for�diversity,
Sony�Pictures�announced
production�of�a�biopic
319
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:25,496
of�Thurgood�Marshall,
the�first�African-American
appointed�to�Supreme�Court.
320
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:29,441
Playing�Marshall�will�be
Australian�heartthrob,
Chris�Hemsworth.
321
00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:32,238
Hi!�I'm�Mazin.
And�with�me,�as�always,
322
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,041
-is�the�radiant�Emma�Hunter.
-Aw.
323
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,573
(LAUGHS)�Thank�you.
324
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,938
Up�first...
325
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,676
A�bit�of�controversy
has�broken�out
326
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,881
over�the�upcoming�remake
of��The�Goonies�film.
327
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,723
That�is�our�Trending�Right�Now
story�of�the�day.
328
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,679
Yes,�the�remake�of
the�beloved�'80s�film
329
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,848
has�come�under�fire
from�fans�angry�that
new�director�Paul�Feig
330
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:52,728
has�recast�all�the�production
assistants�with�females.
331
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,258
Feig�didn't�stop�there.
All�the�grips,�gaffers
332
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:58,704
and�boom�mike�holders
will�now�be�wo-manned�as�well.
333
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,001
Twitter�has�blown�up
on�hearing�the�news.
334
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:02,943
@TruffleShuffle32�wrote,
335
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,568
"Nothing�but�chicks
lighting�the�sets?
336
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,643
"The�new��Goonies
is�an�abomination.
337
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,672
"��Childhoodruined."
338
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:11,137
And�@mouthemouth�said,
339
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:12,846
"What�are�they�going�to
call�it?��The�Poonies?
340
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:15,108
"��Fuckyoufuckingfuckfucks"
341
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,522
In�music�news,
342
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,190
Drake�has�dedicated�himself
343
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:21,889
to�the�cause
of�marriage�equality
344
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,321
by�lobbying�the�government,
345
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,585
to�allow�a�man
to�marry�a�city.
346
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,634
The�man�whose
albums�are�often�described�as
347
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,130
"Love�letters
to�the�City�of�Toronto"�says,
348
00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:32,302
he�wants�to,
"Make�things�official."
349
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:35,201
Put�an�end�to�this
whole�Sam�and�Diane�thing.
350
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:37,174
And�finally,
it�was�the�biggest�night
351
00:15:37,202 --> 00:15:39,742
in�Canadian�arts
and�entertainment�last�night.
352
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,442
The�O-1�Visa�Awards,
353
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,983
in�which�Canada's
brightest�stars�find�out
354
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:46,379
who�gets�a�work�visa
to�the�United�States.
355
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,552
Attended�to�live
on�the�red�carpet.
356
00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:52,751
You�know,�it's�such�an�honor
to�be�recognized�by
the�country�that�I�love,
357
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,285
by�getting�permission
to�go�to�a�country
358
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,960
that�will�actually�pay�me
for�my�art.
359
00:15:56,989 --> 00:15:58,219
I�just�can't�wait
to�have�a�long,
360
00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,087
successful�career�State-side,
361
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,895
and�then�come�back�here
and�retire�to�a�nice,
Canadian�sitcom
362
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:05,399
with�my�son.
363
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,971
I�guess,�you�know,�there's
always�a�next�year.
364
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,099
Plus,�that�Canadian�Tire�ad
is�auditioning�tomorrow.
365
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,644
So...
366
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:14,409
(SOBBING)�God.�Oh,�God!�Why?
367
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,950
Ouf!�Tough�break
for�that�young�lady.
368
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,621
That's�all�for�tonight,
but�make�sure
to�tune�in�tomorrow,
369
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,450
when�we'll�disappoint�you
with�nude�photos
370
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,085
of�your�favorite
character�actors.
371
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,520
And�yes,�John�Turturro
makes�the�cut.
372
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,728
Thanks,�Emma.
Next...
373
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:42,466
A�terrible�story�about
corporate�pollution
374
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,741
and�its�devastating
impact�on�the�environment.
375
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,140
Ugh!�Come�on,�Miguel,
376
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:47,871
let's�try
and�keep�things�light.
377
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:51,306
Next...�Terrorism.
378
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,753
When�an�act�of�terror
is�committed�by�a�Muslim,
379
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:58,849
the�world�asks,�"Why�don't
all�the�other�1.7�billion
Muslims�denounce�it?"
380
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:01,894
Well,�now�the�Muslim�community
has�appointed�one�person
381
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,860
to�condemn�any�attack
to�which�Islam
382
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:05,719
is�even
a�little�bit�connected.
383
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,958
Rabia�Abdulrafi�will�now�serve
as�the�apologetic�voice
384
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:11,734
of�over�one-quarter
of�the�global�population.
385
00:17:11,764 --> 00:17:12,804
Rabia�said...
386
00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:14,701
(READING)
387
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:19,172
"...the�attack�in�Paris,
all�the�terrorist�attacks
388
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:20,814
"from�all�the�action�movies,
389
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,909
"seasons�two�through
five�of��Homeland,
390
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,911
"and�Zayn�Malik
leaving�One�Direction."
391
00:17:26,512 --> 00:17:28,052
In�related�news,
the�representative
392
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,650
for�the�Christian�Coalition
393
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:32,281
insisted�that�they�had
nothing�to�apologize�for.
394
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,352
After�the�break,
we'll�show�you
395
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,187
"The�five�hottest
wedding�gifts�to�buy
396
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,762
"even�though�you�know
Brenda�is�cheating."
397
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,932
That's�interesting.�I've�a�lot
of�friends�who�cheat.�I'm�fun.
398
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,309
Welcome�back.
Even�in�today's�world,
399
00:17:56,341 --> 00:17:58,981
hatred�against�those�who
are�different�runs�rampant.
400
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:01,151
But�one�man�is�standing�up
to�the�bullying.
401
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,620
Joining�us�from�his�basement
apartment,�is�Brice�Ulster
402
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:06,619
to�share�the�story�of�his
courageous�battle,
with�homophobia.
403
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:08,652
-Welcome.
-Thank�you.
404
00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:10,087
You�know,
it's�tough�out�there,
405
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:12,422
but�it�feels�very�empowering
to�know�safe�spaces�like�this
406
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,488
exist�for�me
to�share�my�journey.
407
00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:19,257
So,�when�did
you�first�experience
discrimination,�Brice?
408
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,628
Oh,�wow,�uh,
I�suppose�middle�school?
409
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,197
I�was�in�gym�class
410
00:18:23,235 --> 00:18:25,295
and,�totally�innocently,
I�called�someone�a�"fairy"
411
00:18:25,337 --> 00:18:27,767
for,�you�know,�having
rainbow-colored�socks.
412
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,206
People�were�like,
"Whoa,�homophobic."
413
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:32,506
Wait.�What?
414
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,714
I...�Yeah,�I�know,�I�know.
It�was�horrifying.
415
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:37,346
I�can�still�see�the�judgment
in�their�eyes.�Even�today.
416
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:38,682
Oh!
417
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,260
So,�you're�a�homophobe?
418
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:46,158
Mmm.�We�don't�like�the�term
"homophobe."
419
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,231
We�prefer
"Homo-fearing�humans."
420
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,000
I�mean,�that's�why
I�wrote�my�book,
421
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:51,528
Enduring�Straightred.
422
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,028
What�do�you�say�to�the�critics
423
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,566
who�call�your�lifestyle
offensive?
424
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,542
I�just�want�them�to�see�that
we're�normal�people,
425
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:01,571
who�were�born�with�a�desire
426
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:04,307
to�pretend�to�vomit�every�time
we�see�two�guys�holding�hands
427
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,413
and�get,�you�know,
irrationally�angry.
428
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,905
When�gay�people�adopt
children,�'cause...
429
00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:12,447
So,�you�believe�it's�out�of
your�control,�Brice?
430
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,994
Hey,�I�would�love
431
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:15,989
to�be�able�to�go�to�my
cousin's�same-sex�wedding
432
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,361
without�crudely�speculating,
433
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:19,629
(LAUGHING)�"Oh,�hey,
which�one's�the�wife,�right?"
434
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:20,788
Let's�not...
435
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,956
But�that's�just�not�me,
you�know?
436
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,955
And�I've�accepted�that.
I�am�who�I�am
437
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,398
and�I�shouldn't
have�to�change.
438
00:19:27,432 --> 00:19:29,332
I�mean,�I'm�not
hurting�anyone...
439
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:30,838
-Except�homosexuals.
-Except�homosexuals.
440
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,769
Yes,�exactly!
441
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:34,444
Brice,�this�is�outrageous,
okay?
442
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,613
Let�me�remind�you�that
there�are�children�watching,
443
00:19:36,642 --> 00:19:38,642
-so�if�you�could...
-That�is�a�great�point.
444
00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:40,147
To�the�kids�out�there
who�are�wondering
445
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,609
why�their�great
"butt�pirate"�joke
446
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:42,977
didn't�get�a�laugh.
447
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,745
You�know,�one�day�you're�going
to�join�a�football�team
448
00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,253
or�a�country�club,
449
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:48,215
or�basically�any�place�that
has�a�private�locker�room,
450
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,023
and�you're�going�to�find
people�who�accept,�nay,
451
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:54,956
celebrate�you�for�exactly
who�you�are.
452
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:57,695
Thank�you,�Brice.
453
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:01,698
To�conclude�tonight,
I�thought�it�would�be�fun
454
00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:04,203
to�check�in�on�our
New�Year's�resolutions.
455
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,566
Did�you�make�any,�Miguel?
456
00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,244
Yes,�in�fact,�I�made�about
100�of�them.
457
00:20:07,272 --> 00:20:08,942
-Oh!
-Actually�140,�if�you�count
458
00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,014
sub-resolutions
to�the�addendum,
459
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,353
all�designed�to�help
me�attain�physical,�mental,
and�spiritual�perfection.
460
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,419
You�know�what,�I�was�actually
just�making�small�talk,�Miguel
461
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:18,018
-so�please�don't...
-For�example,�my�resolution
462
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,790
for�January�is�to�properly
annotate�all�of�Wikipedia.
463
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,559
-And�to�learn�a�new�language.
-Sounds�like�a�tall�order.
464
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:26,659
-I�was�thinking...
-Ja,�naturlich.
465
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:29,192
But�not�if�you�give�up
sleeping,�which�is�another
resolution�of�mine.
466
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,428
-Why�would�you...
-I'm�really
467
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:31,732
looking�forward�to�May,
when�I�plan�to
468
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,733
run�a�triathlon,
master�the�violin
469
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,195
and�train�my�infant�daughter
to�trust�me
more�than�her�mother.
470
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:39,872
That's�insane.�Why�would
you�do�any�of�that?
471
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,635
So�that�I�can�be
the�best�news�anchor
that�I�can�for�our�viewers.
472
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:44,484
Why�don't�you�just�do�what
every�other�anchor�does?
473
00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:46,039
Lose�10�pounds,
whiten�your�teeth
474
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,848
and�get�your
hair�plugs�fixed,�man?
475
00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,149
Well,
they're�not�hair�plugs...
476
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:50,921
-That's�all�the�time�we�have.
-No,�they're�not...
477
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,279
Next�week�on��The�Beaverton,
478
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,217
our�in-depth�report
on�Amazon's
479
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,493
controversial�use
of�drone�strikes
480
00:20:56,521 --> 00:20:57,921
on�independent�bookstores.
481
00:20:57,956 --> 00:20:59,086
Seriously,�you�got�to
get�those�fixed.
482
00:20:59,124 --> 00:21:00,834
-Not�plugs,�not�plugs.
-They�look�weird...
483
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:02,159
(INDISTINCT�CHATTERING)
43595