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MIGUEL:��Interest�rates are�doing�something
you�don't�have the�financial�literacy to�understand.
EMMA:��A�Vancouver�woman thinks�up�a�pun�so�good, she�has�to�open�a�business.
MIGUEL:��And�is�our�reliance on�smartphones�increasing our�risk�of�thumb�cancer?
Meet�the�doctor who�isn't�sure.
Welcome�to��The�Beaverton,
the�news�show other�news�shows�get their�news�from.
I'm�your�host, Miguel�Rivas.
And�filling�in for�Miguel�Rivas, I'm�Emma�Hunter.
Eminent�journalist Peter�Mansbridge,
anchor�of�CBC's The�National,
will�retire�on�July�1st
in�order�to�spend�more�time lobbing�softball�questions at�his�family.
Mansbridge, revered�for�having the�integrity
to�sit�down�with the�world's�most�powerful
and�ask�them�what�their�ideal Sunday�morning�looks�like,
is�excited�to�focus on�finally�sucking�up
to�the�people who�matter�most in�his�life.
Said�Mansbridge...
(EMMA�READING)
"...on�her�favorite�types of�cereal."
The�National has�not�announced a�replacement,
but�former CBC�Radio�personality, Shad,
remains�optimistic that�everything�happens for�a�reason.
Is�Canada's health�care�system failing?
A�new�study suggests�the�majority of�wealthy�Canadians
fly�to�the�US to�receive�better�quality homeopathic�medicine.
While�Canadian alternative�health�advocates
believe�they�have�access to�good�quality generic�magic�water,
they�criticize our�holistic�care�centers' exorbitant�wait�times
for�even�simple�procedures like�a�bee-sting�enema to�treat�prostate�cancer.
According�to�the�study,
while�private�American�clinics are�out�of�the�price�range of�the�average�Canadian,
wealthy�Canadians�say it's�hard�to�put�a�price�tag
on�a�toxin-free well-stung�anus.
Faced�with�declining�interest in�hosting�the�Olympic�Games,
the�IOC�is�adopting a�new�selection�process.
Rather�than�weigh competing�bids,
they'll�just�select�a�country,
then�show�up and�announce�the�games are�about�to�start.
The�IOC�is�confident this�will�help�them�bankrupt world-class�locations,
but�some�worry that�cities�won't�have�time to�build�venues,
kick�out�their�homeless, or�design�top-notch�mascots.
All�countries�will�be�enrolled in�this�new�Olympic�draft,
but�it�is�possible�to�avoid having�to�host�the�Olympics
by�paying�the�IOC a�200-million-dollar "please,�no"�fee.
War�veterans.
Sometimes�it's�hard to�properly�thank�people
who�fought�for�that�mistake your�country�made.
But�in�the�United�States a�new�government�program may�bring�relief.
Our�own�Miguel�Rivas�reports.
The�Bipartisan "Jobs�for�Veterans�Bill"
promises�to�put�an�end to�veteran�unemployment
by�giving�each of�the�United�States
495,000�out-of-work�veterans a�career�as�a�prop in�political�campaign�ads.
Uh,�right�here?
(CLEARS�THROAT)
Anthony�Morris, I�did�three�tours�in�Fallujah.
I�watched�several�friends�die,
and�I'm�reading for�the�role�of
"Veteran�Who�Doesn't Need�Mental�Health�Funding" Number�3?
Number�3.
It's�cool.
MIGUEL:��I�sat�down�with a�former�US�infantryman,
and�one�of�the�first�employed by�the�program.
Well,�you�know, it's�hard�to�hold�down�work,
because�of the�post-traumatic�stress.
But�luckily, for�the�long�election�season,
I've�been�given a�lot�of�chances
to�get�paid�50�bucks to�be�in�a�video.
Well,�that�has�to�be�a�relief.
(CHUCKLING) Well,�sometimes.
It's�hard�to�endorse a�politician
who�says�he's�gonna cut�your�benefits.
But�if�the�guy�does�win,
I'm�gonna�need all�the�money�I�can�get,
so�I�can�afford a�trip�to�the�clinic.
GRIFT:��Hi. I'm�Grift�Sutherland.
And�I�want�you to�re-elect�me as�your�senator.
Let's�keep�those�people�out.
Together.
I'm�a�US�veteran.
And,�uh, I�guess�I�endorse this�message.
Otherwise,�I�won't�be�able to�give�my�daughter Christmas�this�year.
Her�present�was�medication.
We�done?
GRIFT: Paid�for�by�the�committee to�elect�Grift�Sutherland
and�re-invade�Vietnam.
Answer�me, God�damn�it!
GRIFT:��Boo-ya!
Following�its�success,
the�Canadian�Department for�Veteran�Affairs
has�also�attempted to�launch�a�similar�program.
However,�it�died�in the�House�of�Commons,
after�it�became�apparent that�it�meant�giving�any�money to�veterans.
For��The�Beaverton, I'm�Miguel�Rivas.
Great�job,�Miguel.
-Just�doing�my�job. -Yeah,�that's�what�I�said.
Last�year, "Game�Developer"�Barbie
encouraged�girls across�the�world
to�pursue�careers in�science�and�technology.
Now,�a�competitor is�introducing a�new�line�of�dolls
to�take�on�other�roles traditionally�dominated by�men.
The�all-new "Boys'�Club"�Wendys.
Includes�popular�versions, like�"Dictator"�Wendy,
"Men's�Rights�Activist"�Wendy,
"Sitting�on�a�Panel�About Women's�Reproductive�Rights" Wendy,
and�"Mass�Shooter"�Wendy.
(GROANS)
Hmm.
NARRATOR: The�invention�of the�ketchup�chip,
a�part�of�our�heritage, since�1974.
That's�a�wrap on�the�87th Heritage�Minute!
NARRATOR: Making�Heritage�Minutes about�our�mundane�history.
A�part�of�our�heritage, since�1991.
Showing Heritage�Minutes in�history�class.
A�part�of�our�heritage, since�work-to-rule.
The�CRTC�is�the�organization responsible�for�ensuring
the�presence�of great�Canadian�content on�our�airwaves,
like�that�one about�the�gas�station.
Ah,��Being�Erica. I�love�it.
Love�it.
And�now,�it's�expanding�its Canadian�content�jurisdiction,
mandating�at�least 35%�local�programing
must�be�aired on�all�of�the�nation's pornography�channels.
For�more, we�sent�Donavon�Stinson�on the�very�important�mission
of�investigating the�porn�industry,
and�the�more�important�task of�getting�millennials to�watch�the�news.
(ROCK�MUSIC�PLAYING)
Pornography,�it's�everywhere,
on�our�computer�screens, our�mobile�devices,
and�in�Canada, on�our�federal bureaucrats'�desks.
Which�begs�the�question,
"Does�our�government have�any�business
"regulating�what�goes�on in�our�bedrooms,
"morning�showers, or�in�American�Apparel dressing�rooms?"
I�spoke�to�CRTC�spokeswoman Regina�Thompson�to�find�out.
If�there's�one�thing the�government should�legislate,
it's�protecting a�place�on�the�dial for�pornography
made�for�Canadians, by�Canadians.
Us�Canadians, we�live�in�a�diverse�country made�up�of�different�folks,
with�a�seemingly�broad set�of�different�strokes.
Who�are�you�to�decide what�constitutes
a�Canadian pornographic�story worth�telling?
-That's�a�good�question. -Thank�you.
I�thought�so,�too.
To�some, it's�an�Albertan�dairymaid getting�gang-stuffed
-by�a�group of�migrant�farm�workers. -(CLEARS�THROAT)
To�others, it's�an�East�Coast�village,
mourning�the�death of�their�men
in�a�sexy mining�accident.
Sexy?�Right.
But�whatever�stories�we�tell,
the�CRTC�believes that�our�screen should�be�a�mirror.
A�mirror�that�reflects that�diversity�back�at�us.
So,�we�can�watch ourselves�masturbate.
DONAVON: But�not�everyone�agrees
the�CRTC�has�Canadians' best�interests�at�heart,
including�the�pornographers the�government�body helps�keep�employed.
The�regulatory�hoops that�we�have�to�jump�through are�crippling�us.
Do�you�know, to�get�a�porn�parody�financed
it�needs�to�be�based on�a�Canadian�film or�television�series?
DONAVON: Dougie�Morningwood�has received�federal�grants�for...
(DONAVON�READING)
Degrassi: The�Next�Penetration.
-Absolutely. -Or��DaVinci's�Incest.
-Both�failures. -To�you.
DONAVON:��Despite�this, he�has�managed to�carve�out�a�niche
in�the�tired�stereotypes and�low�expectations
that�come�along with�Canadian�productions.
-Poutine. -Oh.
You're�falling�way�behind in�AP�Chemistry.
And�this�country�needs more�female�science�graduates
to�compete�in the�21st�century�economy.
(BOTH�MOANING)
I�don't�have�any�money, but�I�have�another�way to�pay�for�the�treatment.
We�have�Universal�Healthcare.
Fill�out�these�forms and�I'll�see�you�back�here in�six�to�nine�months.
(SIGHS)
You�do�realize that�your�entire�industry
is�subsidized by�the�public's�money.
It's�hard�for�people to�feel�bad�for�someone
who's�giving�up something�as�trivial as�creative�control.
We're�not�asking�them�to.
-It's�about�the�CRTC, these�pencil�pushers. -(CLEARS�THROAT)
And�if�we�allow their�fetish�of�the�week that�their�choosing
to�dictate�what�sex�act we�can�capture�on�cam,
how�can�we�call ourselves�artists?
You�can't.
Uh...
Aren't�these�restrictive CanCon�rules
just�another�way for�our�government
to�infringe�on�the�free�speech of�our�nation's�porn�auteurs?
Look,�these�are�the�same complaints�people�made about�Canadian�film�and�TV.
Mmm.
And�you�don't�hear them�complaining�about that�anymore,�do�you?
Hmm.
Thanks�for�all your�hard�work, Donavon.
I�hope�you're�rehydrating.
With�harvesting�season coming�to�a�close,
thousands�of�seasonal�workers are�set�to�return�home
to�Central�America and�the�West�Indies.
To�tell�us�what�happens to�the�people�who�make�up
this�hard-working, under-appreciated�sector of�our�economy
is�migrant�labor�expert Brenda�Phillips.
Hello,�Brenda.
(CHUCKLES) This�is�fun,�thanks.
I'm�glad�someone is�finally�paying�attention to�this�subject.
-No,�no.�Thank�you for�enlightening�us. -Oh.
What�does�this�time�of�year look�like�for�migrant�workers?
Well,�with�their�work done�for�the�season,
mostly�they're�heading south�for�the�winter
in�a�tired,�bitter "V"�pattern.
Wait,�like�ducks?
Yeah,�or�geese, or�any�other migrating�creature.
Did�you�just�call migrant�workers "creatures"?
That's�how�we�treat�them, like�animals.�(CHUCKLES)
Let's�try�and�remember, these�are�people�who�many think�are�being�exploited.
Yes.
But�let's�also�remember that�many�businesses view�them�as�livestock
to�house in�deplorable�conditions,
and�use�as�beasts�of�burden.
Can�we�avoid these�animal�allusions
and�stick�with the�word�"people".
People�of�burden.
-Just�"people". -Yeah.
Well,�agribusiness doesn't�really�want
you�thinking�of�them as�people.
Because�if�you call�them�"people",
you�have�to�start treating�them�like�people,
and�that�can�get pretty�expensive.
EMMA:�Hey.
Well,�could�you tell�us�a�little�bit
about�their�return�to their�countries�of�origin?
Mmm. It's�a�dangerous�journey.
Sore�and�weak from�their�months�of back-breaking�labor,
they�are�vulnerable to�predators,
like�recruiters who�take�part�of�their�wages
for�finding�them these�shitty�jobs.
What?
So,�we�have�a�group coming�and�contributing to�the�economy,
supporting�our�farms and�factories
in�a�country that�prides�itself�on�its immigration�policies.
-Mmm-hmm. -Why�can't�they�stay?
Because�then�they'd�have to�become�citizens,
and�then�they'd�get employment�insurance, and�minimum�wage.
And,�whoa, all�of�a�sudden
you're�looking�at a�50-cent�apple.
That�doesn't�seem that�expensive.
Migrant�workers are�part�of�the�great�circle of�commerce.
We�get�important�labor done�cheaply.
Who�cares�how?
-Okay. Thanks,�Brenda. -Yeah.
This�is�outrageous, I'm�going�to�write a�letter�to�my�MP.
-No,�you're�not. -I�might.
When�we�return, find�out�once�and�for�all who�has�the�strongest�dad.
It's�not�me that's�for�sure.
That's�for�sure.
In�Northern�Ontario�this�week,
a�First�Nations�group broke�ground�on their�casino�expansion,
only�to�discover an�ancient�white burial�ground.
Our�own�Aisha�Alfa�has�more.
AISHA:��When�developers of�the�Chippewa�Nation
began�excavation for�their�casino,
they�were�shocked to�unearth�the�remains
of�an�unmarked Caucasian�burial�ground.
Frustrated�by�the�delay,
the�First�Nations�group must�now�consult with�John�Woodrow,
a�renowned paranormal�investigator,
who�has�spent�years studying�the�mysticism�of white�North�Americans.
The�red�tape is�the�least�of�their�issues.
I'm�far�more�concerned with�how�they�angered the�spirits.
AISHA:��Armed�with�his white-ghost�hunting�tools,
an�EMF�reader,�Frisbee,
and�a�petition�to�keep a�local,�independent bookstore�open.
John�Woodrow�set�out�to�find these�incorporeal�forms,
and�help�them�complete their�unfinished�business.
(SNIFFS)
He�couldn't�have�come at�a�better�time.
JOHN:��Strange�and�terrifying happenings�have�been reported�in�the�region.
On�an�ordinary�day, just�past�the�brunching�hour,
Eggs�Benedict mysteriously�disappearing
and�nothing�left, but�a�really�bad�tip.
Unattended�MacBook�Pros,
posting�think-pieces about�how�all�lives�matter on�local�Facebook�pages,
seemingly�all�on�their�own.
We�must�appease these�white�spirits by�giving�them�tributes
that�are�sacred to�their�white�culture.
-Taylor�Swift. -Birkenstocks.
Mumford�&�Sons.
Starbucks.
AISHA: Following�Woodrow's�advice,
the�casino�is�comping�tickets for�an�upcoming Jerry�Seinfeld�show.
There�are�also talks�of�adding farmer's�market�stalls
along�the�spiritual�ley�lines in�the�lobby.
Only�time�will�tell if�these�measures can�placate�the�spirits,
and�this�wealthy First�Nations�developer
can�finally�get�back to�business.
For��The�Beaverton, I'm�Aisha�Alfa.
Justin�Trudeau's political�honeymoon appears�to�be�over,
with�even�his�supporters now�urging�the�Prime�Minister
to�spend�less�time making�high-profile public�appearances,
and�more�time�fulfilling his�various�campaign�promises.
The�outcry�is the�subject�of�tonight's point/counterpoint.
"Is�Canada�too�needy for�Justin�Trudeau?"
Mmm,�no�it's�not.
Really,�Miguel?
Have�you�heard�Canada�lately?
"When�are�you�gonna fix�the�economy?
"Where's�our�electoral�reform?
"What�about�all�those promises�you�made�about First�Nations�communities?"
Ugh,�they�sound�like my�boyfriend's�wife.
No.�No,�what�I'm�saying is�there's�nothing�needy
about�holding our�elected�officials accountable.
Nevertheless, if�I�had�a�chance,�okay,
to�say, hang�out�with�Bono
over�going�home to�my�gross, nagging�country
that�can't�get its�shit�together,
I'm�pretty�sure, I�know�where�I'm�going. (LAUGHS)
Well,�that's�what we�elected�him�for.
No.
No,�Miguel.
We�elected�him because�he's�a�hard�10.
And�what's�Canada, a�seven?
Okay.
Admittedly,�we�are�punching above�our�weight,�okay.
That's�true,�I'll�admit�that.
But�that�doesn't change�the�fact that�Justin�Trudeau
has�failed to�re-institute�pensions for�injured�veterans.
He's�failed to�connect�with all�sorts...
Do�you�see, that�is�exactly�the�thing
that's�gonna�push Justin�away.
You�know,�he�could�be the�prime�minister
-of�any�country he�wants,�right? -No.
No.
I�told�you,�that's�not how�democracy�works.
Which�is�why we�need�electoral�reform.
Which�I'm�sure he�will�get�around�to if�he's�not�too�busy.
No�pressure, we�are�easy�breezy.
I'm�so�chill.
Up�for�anything�or�nothing. (CHUCKLES)
We'll�be�right�back.
-He's�not�listening�right�now. -Whatever,�I�don't�care.
Climate�change is�on�all�of�our�minds.
A�new�study�suggests the�point�of�no�return
for�Global�Warming was�five�minutes�ago.
To�talk�about what�this�means is�Oliver�Mathis,
a�climatologist from�Environment�Canada.
Laura�Cilevitz, The�Beaverton's financial�expert,
and�a�former�lobbyist for�the�coal�industry.
And�Sumon�Dutta, a�Bangladeshi�man
whose�village was�just�flooded.
Thank�you�all so�much�for�being�here�today.
Thank�you�for�having�us,�Emma.
This�new�report is�just�nothing�more�than scientific�mumbo�jumbo
being�used�to�attack Canada's�resource�industry.
Oliver, would�you�care to�rebut?
You�can't�honestly�believe that�climate�change isn't�real,�Laura.
Greenhouse�gases�are�having a�catastrophic�affect
on�our�ability�to�survive the�coming�centuries.
Interesting�point.
Sumon,�what's�your�take?
I�mean...
He�may�have�got you�there,�Laura.
How�can�we�even�sit and�have�this�debate
when�sea�levels�are�wiping�out coastal�communities?
This�is�literally happening�right�now.
I�have�been�wet�for�weeks.
So,�sorry,�you�think climate�change�is�real?
Okay,�to�be�clear, the�story�of�his�village being�washed�away
is�just�Sumon's�opinion, not�fact.
Look, all�the�negativity�surrounding the�climate�change�debate
is�what�we in�the�lobby�industry�call "a�real�bummer".
And�I�have�a�different question�for�you.
What�if�climate�change deniers�were�right?
Then�we�wouldn't�need�to�alter any�of�our�behaviors.
-You�make�a�strong�point. -No,�she�doesn't!
We�need�to�examine the�economic and�political�reality
of�the�situation.
That�seems�complicated.
You're�absolutely�right.
Nothing�can�be�done.
These�affects are�irreversible.
This�is�why the�world's�climate�scientists
are�currently�shifting their�focus�away from�solar�power,
and�into�building a�time�machine
that�we�will�use�to�stop the�industrial�revolution.
It's�the�only�way.
Well,�there's�just one�little�problem with�that,�Oliver.
Who�is�going�to�pay for�a�time�machine?
What�about�the�human�cost?
You�don't pay�for�time�machines with�humans,�Sumon.
Would�you�like to�elaborate,�Sumon?
We�need�a�worldwide�effort to�help�reverse�the�effects of�climate�change.
We�all�have�to�pitch�in and�sacrifice.
Stop�driving�cars. Stop�eating�meat.
It's�simple.
Wow.
That�is�way�too�far.
Now,�about�that�time�machine.
Unfortunately, we're�out�of�time.
Well,�you�know what�would�solve�that.
Thank�you,�panel.
We�look�forward to�having�them�back next�week
to�discuss�whether the�Earth�is�round,�flat, or�other.
Statistics�Canada has�announced
that�the�most�popular Canadian�baby�names in�2016
are�Bell�and�Rogers.
After�buying�and�renaming every�stadium�in�the�country,
the�nation's two�telecommunications�giants
have�now�snapped�up the�naming�rights
for�each�of�the�country's 390,000�newborns.
In�exchange,�parents will�receive�two�months of�unlimited�data.
The�nation's�teachers admit�it�will�be�a�problem
differentiating�between so�many�identically-named children,
but�not�as�big�a�problem
as�stopping�them from�bullying�the�one�kid named�Koodo.
Finally, before�we�sign�off for�the�night,
I'd�like�to�share�something a�little�more�personal.
Snooze.
None�of�our�regular�viewers, nor�any�of�my�esteemed co-workers�noticed,
but�to�show�how�differently men�and�women�in�the�media are�treated,
for�the�past�three�months,
I've�been�wearing the�same�suit every�single�day.
You�know, the�expectations are�unfair...
That's�why you've�been�doing�it.
This�may�come�as�a�shock... Wait,�what?
Miguel,�we�all�knew. You�smell�terrible.
You�smell�like�a�urinal at�an�asparagus�convention.
My�point�is, the�scrutiny�that�we�put on�female�appearance...
You�smell�like�a�sick�horse.
-As�a�feminist... -You�smell�like�a�mop at�a�strip�club.
I�just�wanted�to�tell�you how�women�in�the�media�feel...
LAURA:�Hi,�so�sorry.
Laura,�did�you�know what�was�going�on?
Absolutely.
It's�very�clear, you�were�trying�to�show the�body�shaming
women�in�the�media�face by�getting�progressively fatter.
-Oh,�yeah. -Nice.
Now�I�get�it,�yeah. That�suit�is�looking a�little�snug.
Well,�thank�you,�Miguel. That�is�a�very�solid�point. That's�sweet.
Actually,�I�was�trying to�make�a�point�about�men's and�women's�fashion.
The�weight�gain is�just�sort�of�life, you�know?
Oh,�well, maybe�you�should�lay�off those�peanut�M&M's
you�love�so�much, huh,�toots?
-"Toots"? -LAURA:�Yeah.
I�mean,�you�know you're�not�supposed to�eat�popcorn
and�chardonnay for�every�meal, right?
I�just�wanted�to�make a�social�commentary.
Well,�now�you�know how�we�feel.
That's�it�for�tonight.
Join�us�tomorrow when�we�dare�to�ask,
are�martial�arts too�dangerous�for�children?
One�six-year-old claims�to�have�killed�over 1,000�ninjas�using�karate.
(BOTH�ARGUING�INDISTINCTLY)
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