Original subtitles

Previously on The Real L Word...

Can you just not drink tonight?"

I hate someone telling me

how I'm gonna fucking live my life.

One night is all I ask for.

I gotta talk to you. I want to give up drinking.

Why do you not want to drink?

'cause I don't want something like that

to have so much power over us.

- You're such an asshole. - You know what? You can project your shit on me...

- I was just trying to make peace between you guys. - I would never do that to you.

That's what I said... and Claire threw a big fit, and look what she said:

"It's cool, I look good.

You all look fake and crazy.

So fuck y'all."

I'm not gonna take this anymore.

I'm really done with Claire.

So I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

What the fuck?!

Francine threw all of my stuff out on her front doorstep,

like garbage.

Vivian.

Pee day!

It's going to be so gross knowing that there's

sperm up there.

We have a doctor. We know how we're going to do it.

- You're ready. - So today's the day?

Oh, my God!

Dr. Morris told us that it'd be more effective

if we did two rounds of insemination.

- Hi, Dr. Morris. - I have bad news.

What's wrong?

The nitrogen tank discharged or something over night.

What do you mean? Like, it...

I'm pissed.

Chanel, it's time to go. It's time to go.

Okay, we can go, but don't come at me like that.

You can't really handle big gulps of Sajdah.

You gotta sip it slow,

and I'm serving her up really big gulps right now.

One more issue like this, we done.

I mean, if we're gonna have a real makeup,

we need to make up the proper way,

take the next step.

Chanel and I are finally having sex.

Boy, was it worth the wait.

synced and corrected by chamallow www.addic7ed.com

You're my favorite.

I would hope so.

Things are going really well with Chanel and I.

We've been together for over a month now,

and we've progressed a lot.

I mean, we're intimate.

I don't know... I think it's time to take the next step.

You movin' in. You're my wife.

We should practice.

- Practice what? - Being married.

You just want to have sex.

Not just the sex... I want you around all the time.

At this point,

Chanel and I have been seeing each other damn near every day.

And, like, I can't get enough of it.

She's sexy as shit.

Easy.

I mean, I hump her in public. She gets really upset about it.

I mean, shit, it's the perk of being in a relationship.

I want to fuck you.

Come on, there are people here.

Ouch. We could have sex right here, no one would know.

Pin you up against the machine.

Come on.

Stop!

You movin' in.

Sajdah is really going overboard with the P.D.A.,

like, to the point where I just want to yell at her

to let her know, like, enough is enough.

I was just trying to bang you out.

That's what I'm saying. I don't want to be banged out.

- Fuck that. - Stop.

Don't!

What do you mean we just stayin' on the weekends?

You movin' in.

You're making me upset.

Why?

Don't be upset with me.

I'll do you.

Come on. Please stop.

Today is kind of hard,

because one of our three vials of sperm went bad,

so we're already running out.

I really just want Cori to be pregnant,

and, you know, I was raised catholic,

and I just feel like the right thing to do

is to just go to the church

and light a candle

and just hope that it works.

In this process, faith is really important.

There's something about getting on your knees

and really focusing in on

just what you want

and having conversations

with someone out there who might help.

It's killing me

that this... we can't just...

just clap my hands and, like, make a baby.

Every time I see a kid,

that's all I want.

I look at Cori,

and I see her face, and I see her smile,

and I think about our life together,

and I can't imagine not having kids.

I can't imagine

not wanting somebody else like her in the world.

I'm headed to go pick up Vivian at the airport.

I haven't seen her in the past month.

Now that Francine is completely out of my life

and completely out of the picture,

it makes me think a lot more about where I am in my life,

and if I'm gonna be with anybody,

it's gonna be with Vivian.

Hi.

Hey, babe.

Hi. Oh, my God.

Oh. I'm so excited.

Oh, how are you?

Good. You look cute.

Oh, you look good.

You're gonna make my life normal again?

Oh, my God. I can't believe you're here.

- I know. - This is so unreal.

I haven't flown into L.A. in years.

Thank you.

You like it?

- Are you happy to be here? - Yes.

Look at it, look at it. L.A.

Yay.

- Can't believe we're in L.A. together. - I know.

Did you think that that would ever happen?

No.

I know that Claire and Franny have gotten into a big fight,

and I am pretty surprised that it only took

this short amount of time for everything to fall to pieces,

but I wouldn't have come

if things were going well between them.

You in L.A. with Francine.

Always... always good way to not make me sleep at night.

I'm sure we'll be seeing her, no?

I fucking hope not, but I'm sure we will.

We will.

It sounds horrible to say,

but had things gone differently with Francine,

I may have not tried to get Vivian to come out

as much as I did,

but it's good to just see a familiar face,

and to see a face that doesn't want to rip my head off

every second of every day.

You know, I like to be joined at the hip,

but sometimes I feel like we start bickering

- when we're joined at the hip. - I like how you already...

you're already thinking about us not getting along,

which actually usually doesn't happen.

You're confusing me with your other Asian.

- Don't say stuff like that. - Why?

I don't think that.

I'm really happy that you guys hit it off.

She wants me to call her daddy.

Oh, she calls me daddy.

Oh, my God.

Just kidding.

- So you know Claire and I aren't speaking any more, right? - Yes.

- Why? What happened? - Oh.

- Things just haven't been good. - I happened.

I want to know.

Not even that... no, no. I get this email from her...

she goes like this, "everyone's such a loser on the show.

No one even had a real job. Everyone works in retail

and does makeup... that's not a real job."

And then she's like, "hello, Francine,

putting all our differences aside,

- will you come and support my new project?" - Good.

So, basically, she talks shit about everyone and wants us to help her.

The last time I saw Claire is when she had some

nasty things to say to me on the night of Whitney's party,

and then automatically after that,

"would you have time for a photo shoot?"

Like, really?

Really? That's awkward.

And then she's like, "yeah, and Whitney...

all she does is party for a living."

Bitch, you moved here with no job. Go back. Go.

- Ew. I hate people like that. - Who does she think she is?

What the fuck does she think that I'm doing?

I'm working my ass off on a jewelry line

and a brand-new job and getting sober,

and hearing somebody just go out there and say

that you do nothing, I was just like,

"who does she think she is?"

Like, what the fuck does she have going on?

It just struck a chord, and I was just like, "fuck you.

Like, you don't know any of us."

Oh, you know what she said about Sara?

She said she has "dog face."

Oh, hell, no.

I was like, "all right, she's a Deb. Like, she's done."

So I just text everyone I knew.

Romi texted me...

what?

"Just found out Claire calls us all losers

who don't have real jobs. We do makeup and hair

and retail, and all we... you do is party.

Wow. I don't even know what to say.

And I was about to help her with the shoot,

but I guess I can tell her I'm too busy playing with lipstick.

Who does this bitch think she is?"

That's a fuckin' Deb, dude.

I think she's fuckin' snobby.

Yeah, "talking mad shit, called Sara a dog face

and said Rachel's trashy."

I don't know what to make of Claire.

Like, we met, and I thought things were cool,

and then all of a sudden,

I start hearing she's talking shit about us.

Here's the thing, dude...

you can't hold your own in any city.

You're wack. You have no personality and no fucking soul.

- So good luck in any city. - No one likes this girl, dude.

But Claire had the nerve to send me an email recently

asking me to model for a fuckin' photo shoot she's doing,

even though she talks mad shit and asks us all, dude.

Why would you come to a new city

and talk shit about people

that, "a," you don't know,

and, "b,"

that are a pretty big friend circle?

You could've had a friend circle,

you could've had everything,

and you created this bullshit situation by talking shit, so bye!

That was so fun, in my apartment,

when I would come home, and you would be in nothing,

cooking me dinner after work. I felt like such the man.

Sorry.

- That was the life. - Yeah, well...

It would be so good...

It was a choice of yours to leave that life.

I question my decision.

But you'll be back.

I have... we have more projects to do.

Vivian came here to visit and to

work on the Dirty Boudoir stuff with me.

The photo shoot that I'm doing

is for the initial launch of the website.

Vivian's gonna help style it,

and Whitney and Romi are gonna be models

to generate some buzz about the site.

Thank you for cooking.

Mm, mm, mm.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Little boobies, little boobies.

Spending the day with Vivian,

you know, really reminds me that

before I moved out here, I had a really nice life with her.

I need to, you know, grow up

and realize that I have the best thing

that I'm ever gonna have,

and the grass is not any greener on the other side.

Like, despite the ups and... the many ups and downs,

you know, temper tantrums and all,

it doesn't take a lot of apologizing on your part

to make it okay on mine.

- Mm... - No?

Sometimes you put up a big stink.

Well, because sometimes you're a big asshole...

- Mm-hmm. - Therefore...

- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

You could work a little harder.

Yes, I agree.

- I'm generally pretty easy. - Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

All my friends back in New York

say that Vivian's the perfect match for me,

and I really want her to come to be a part of my life out here,

'cause whenever Vivian is around, things are just better.

Oh!

Arms out!

Oh, my God, you look like a little girl.

- Do you like it? - I love it, I love it,

I love it, I love it. I love it, love it, love it.

I need sun.

Let's go down by the water.

Come this way.

How are you?

You look cute. Your skin looks better.

- Yeah? - It cleared up.

Have you noticed?

'Cause I'm not drinking.

Yeah, huh.

Things have been going a lot better

in my relationship right now.

Kelsey's looking for a job.

When you remove the alcohol from everything,

you get more a peace, and you're able to communicate.

I don't think anybody looking in would be like, "that's perfect,"

but we're at least in this together.

You know what I think I'm gonna miss?

- Hmm? - Bloody Marys, sun.

Why don't we just make Bloody Marys,

like, with no vodka?

Well, I don't know if I'm gonna give up alcohol forever, hon.

Like, I would have it in moderation.

But isn't the whole thing that you can't have it in moderation?

And you're not gonna quit forever,

you're gonna have a drink eventually.

I probably will.

That's not getting sober!

I deal with it in my own way.

I'm not gonna do it exactly how you're going to do it.

I think you think because you're not drinking right now

that you don't have a drinking problem.

I don't drink a lot to begin with.

Kelsey Grace, that's why you're not drinking now!

I'm just saying down the road, I might have a drink or two.

I might have a fucking beer. It's not that big of a deal.

Oh, my God, this is turning into a stupid argument.

I'm not the one with the problem. Romi is.

I definitely don't need to drink all the time,

but on occasion, if I want to have a drink with my sister or whoever,

I would like to do that

and not feel pressure that I can't.

You know, I don't want to live my life

with a bunch of pressure on me...

I can't take it.

I don't know what she's thinking with everything going on.

I almost don't know if she's getting what I'm going through.

I have 1,500 things to deal with right now,

that I really don't even want to, like,

tackle this issue right now.

If you feel like it's worth it to go and drink

and then just see what happens with us,

then you're definitely playing with fire there.

I don't think so.

Hmm.

I don't have the energy at all to be upset right now.

Good.

It just lets me know what's down the road,

and I didn't expect to hear that from you.

What you guys buy me? Wow!

She found those and fell in love.

- Are you serious? - Yeah.

- Like, pre-cut zigzag signs? - Yeah.

I told her I need... I don't know what to put on this poster,

'cause I know nothing, and she said,

"anything about booties, blocking, fishnets, or booze is good."

We're making signs, because my friend Meredith "Smack" Efron

is going to be in her first roller-derby bout,

so my friend Jess and I want to show our support

with lots of glitter and sparkles.

"Anything silly will work."

Like, "you're going,"

and then down.

I like it.

By the way, my acupuncturist, Virginia,

swears I'm pregnant, because my boobs are swollen and sore,

and it's too soon for P.M.S.

Like, they hurt.

Really?

Holy!

Let the doctor inspect.

- Wow. - I know.

Let me see up here.

- Jessie is sitting right here, baby. - I love you.

At work, all I do is just think,

"did I feel something?"

"Wait, my nostril flared... do you think I'm pregnant?

Is that a pregnant thing? Can you Google that?"

It's been a little bit like that in our home.

"My eyebrow twitched. Does that mean I'm pregnant?

Do pregnant women's eyebrows twitch?"

She's kind of right, but...

I'm freezing in here. Casey was right.

Are you really cold? Seriously, feel my hands.

- Holy moly, come here. - I told you.

- I'm like an oven. - Feel this.

- You're cold. - You are an oven.

She is. It's a little bun...

Baking the cake, baking the cake.

There's a bun in there. There's a bun in there.

Maybe. Hopefully.

I don't fucking want to talk.

What do you want to talk about?

- But see, this is... - All right, all right...

ha... wait... all right, all right, look...

no, okay, but listen to me real quick... listen to me.

How often do we actually sit and talk?

Chanel says that we really just need to have a, um...

a conversation about our relationship

and where it's going.

I need to know

that when I am ready to open up,

you're there to listen.

I don't need to be overpowered.

I am that person that's just, like, chill.

Like, you're on a 10, I'm on a 5,

and you're trying to...

and I feel like you're forcing me to be that 10.

No, I'm not, you could just stand there.

I know I'm on 10,

and it would be great to have you on 10 with me,

so we could just be in our own little crazy, little world.

When you're on 10 and you're humping me,

you're bringing me into it.

I don't want to be brought into it.

We're talking about me like I'm a dog,

like I need to get my nuts cut off or somethin'.

Stop acting like one. It's not a funny...

- this is very serious. - Everything's a funny.

I'm laughing, but I'm so serious,

because it is something that annoys me.

The lack of communication that we have

does have a lot to do with Sajdah's inexperience

in relationships,

so it takes a lot of patience on my side,

and it takes communication on hers,

and it takes listening from both of us

to understand each ether's point of view.

Maybe if you let me bang you out at home,

I wouldn't be trying to bang you out in public all the time.

Okay, you know what? Rewind.

- Do you... do you really... - Okay, okay, okay.

- Are you really taking what I'm saying? - I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I do.

- Then what am I... what am I... - not to hump you in public.

Hey, Rache, how'd the interview go?

I want this so bad, I was like,

"I will suck you off right now if you give me this job."

It was so intense. Like, was that not intense?

Today I had an amazing interview

at the Vidal Sassoon Academy in Santa Monica.

I've always wanted to work for Sassoon.

I think it was stressful that there was, like,

another person there interviewing for the job, too,

- like, next to you... - Yeah.

So it, like, puts this other pressure on.

- If I don't get this job... - You're gonna do it.

Don't worry. Think positive.

I know... I'm sorry, you're right.

- You know? - You're gonna get the job.

I am gonna get this job, and you know what? I'm...

- I told him today... - Feel confident.

If you give me the chance, I will work so hard.

You know, I gave up my life

to pursue a dream,

um, in Los Angeles, you know.

I had an amazing life in New York

with people I really love and care about.

So if I don't get it...

I'll probably be crushed.

But...

everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I won't know now until Friday,

which is, like, getting tested

for, like, herpes or something,

and, like, being like, "why can't you tell me now?"

I can't believe that Claire

was saying that shit to Franny about all of us.

Like, I never said anything about Claire...

Yeah, I didn't know why she didn't like you.

And I'm like, "what? I don't know what you're saying."

Why would Claire talk shit about us?

Like, that's really fucking stupid.

Like, just... she's blacklisting herself.

So you better believe that next time I see her,

I'm going to share my feelings with her.

I think that would be really good.

Yeah.

- I'm a month sober. - A month?

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- That's amazing. - I know.

- It was Haute. - Today's your one month.

- Yeah, it was Haute. - Oh!

Remember when we went with everyone?

I've been sober since.

Wow.

I haven't drank since that night.

- Well, cheers to it. - Cheers to it.

Romi literally has done a 180.

Like, she's acknowledged she had a problem.

She's done something about it,

and now she's making forward steps to, you know,

establish a career and her vision.

With our jewelry, we're doing

it in the sense of, everywhere you've traveled,

you took a little piece

and, like, got over-accessorized,

- and you took it with you... - Oh, yeah, that's good.

- Where it's like a souvenir. - Yeah, that's good.

- I'm very proud of you. - Thank you.

Whitney's been a really good friend to me

and has just really been there, and, like,

she just keeps saying, like, "I'm proud of you,"

and to hear one of your friends say that

when nobody really wants to be around you any more

because you're not fun,

it means a lot.

So tomorrow...

we're waking up, we're going downtown,

we're buying all the stuff,

and then we're making pieces all day.

Well, that's good, 'cause I feel like now we're both

- on, like, a path... of, like... - Yeah.

- focus, and, like, getting our shit done. - And it's nice to, like,

talk to other people that are doing that.

Mm-hmm.

How are you and kelsey doing?

We are on two different worlds right now.

Like, we just are.

I mean, is she sober?

She's sober. She said today, though,

she doesn't want to be sober forever, and I was like,

"okay, I do."

Like, I'm not on a cleanse.

I'm, like, doing a lifestyle change completely right now.

- Yeah. - We're not getting younger.

There's gotta be a time where we start finding someone to, like,

you know, kind of build a life with.

Whitney's been there for me

through a lot of my ups and a lot of my downs,

and being able to sit down and have a conversation

with Whitney about our future feels really good.

You know, I don't necessarily get this conversation

at home with kelsey, and I don't get it from a lot of my friends.

"You will soon gain something you have always wanted."

"You will have gold pieces by the bushel."

That means that you're gonna get a lot of pussy.

- Oh, is that what it means? - No.

Good. Good.

I don't need that.

- Thank you for dinner. - You're welcome.

It's nice to be treated.

So, babe, are you excited?

I'm nervous. Year and a half in the making.

All of us in the same room.

I pray for peace.

So tonight we're gonna go to the party at Haute.

Francine has said that she was gonna go to this party as well.

Vivian and Francine have met before,

but this is gonna be the first time that

we will all three be under the same roof.

So I'm a little bit nervous.

I'm gonna be sitting there like... like a tool,

with my thumb in the air, being like,

wow, now my girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend

are dancing on the dance floor.

That's not gonna happen. I won't do that to you.

- Please don't do that to me. - I won't.

- You look great. - Thanks.

I'm proud... I'm proud to walk in with you.

Oh, thank you.

- I hope I don't disappoint you. - You make me look good.

It'll be interesting to...

be seeing Francine with Vivian there.

I think of anything that it's a better way to see her

with a little bit of a buffer,

because she can't probably...

say the things that she'd probably want to say to me.

I feel really excited...

that this is all about to blow up in my face.

It's frickin' freezin' here.

We're at Haute, and Ruby is talking to Claire.

I see a good opportunity to come in and approach Claire.

I've heard through the grapevine you've been talking shit

- about me, I'm not gonna lie. - About you?

- I have said nothing mean about you ever. - I'm not gonna lie.

It's all hearsay so far that Claire has been saying things

about myself and other people, and so, you know,

I want to give her the opportunity to at least

own it or not.

'Cause I swear to God, dude, I have only said...

I've been nice to you, said nice things.

I don't understand what's going on here.

But I don't understand who's saying that,

because I don't think that... I've never said a bad thing...

- You don't know who's saying it? - Who?

Is it Francine saying that? Francine.

I feel like my whole self just, like, dropped,

'cause I... I was like, "what? What?"

Francine had really decided

to throw me under the bus with these girls.

Okay, "just found out Claire called us all losers.

We don't have real jobs, we only do makeup and hair

and retail, and all we do is party.

Wow, I don't even know what to say."

That's Romi telling me that.

Why the fuck would I say this?

So Claire responds shocked,

but I see a little "deer in the headlights"

coming through her eyes, I'm not gonna lie.

Do I think that you meant

the things you might have said? No.

Do I think maybe you were like,

"oh, I wish I didn't say some things?" Yeah.

Oh, my God, look who's here!

When I first met Vivian,

it was through Claire, but Claire was in New York,

and Vivian was in Los Angeles visiting.

So this is the first time I've seen them together as a couple.

I really wish Khristianne was there,

because it'd be...

maybe a little easier to see Vivian and Claire together,

but she is out of town working this weekend.

Why did she talk shit about me, though?

- I don't... - Like, why?

Because she has a complex. I told her tonight.

- I was like, "listen"... - What did she say about that?

- She... what did she say about that? - She was like, "I never said

- anything about you." - She did say it.

How could I even lie about that?

Why would I lie and make up stories?

Like, I don't... how could that even come out of my own mouth?

"Whitney, I guess, told her I was too cool for school,

which I am, so fuck all y'all,

have fun in lesbo drama land.

You are so shady."

She throws everyone under the bus. I don't judge anyone.

She's not as innocent as she's portraying herself.

Francine shows me the text from Claire,

kind of confirming she was talking shit.

Claire, I'll tell you right now,

probably the thing you don't want to do is

unnecessarily burn a bridge with me.

Come on, my baby.

Come on, my sister.

Baby, be cool.

Hi, Claire.

Hi, Francine. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too. I'm Francine.

You have a bad attitude.

Yeah, I have a bad attitude?

And you didn't say sorry.

- I just saw a mass text you sent out. - Oh, yeah?

Yeah. That was cool.

- That was really cool of you. - Oh, you're gonna cause drama?

- 'Cause I'm not into it. - Cause drama?

I don't have judgments about people, and you're talking shit,

- and... - Oh, so now you're gonna start.

- This is not the time or place. - You're telling me that I'm lying about people?

- You did. - You... you don't... you don't want to start.

This is what you said about everyone.

You told me that everyone's a loser on the show,

and no one has a real job except for me,

- and you know what? - Really, I said all that stuff?

Yeah, you did. You said it on text... you told me that.

And then you told me that Sara has a dog face.

- Okay. - You didn't say that?

Tell me to my face you didn't say that.

- I fucking didn't say that. - Oh, really?

Yeah. You are a lying person.

- You're a fucking liar. - Wow, wow, this girl's lying.

You're lying.

Like, you're gonna lie to my face and say you didn't say it,

when I have text messages to prove it?

It's such an ugly person that she showed me that night.

Yeah, I was the one screaming,

but for you to be able to look into my eyes and lie,

just because everyone else is around us, that broke my heart.

And that was it. You broke my heart.

Francine, you're fucking

literally making an ass out of yourself.

Put it out there. You want to talk shit?

- 'Cause I never judge anyone. - What did I say about them?

- You... you told me that... - What did I say about them?

Whitney doesn't have a real job...

- I never said this shit. - And all she does for a living

- is party. - I never said that. I never...

You promise on your dead grandmother?

- Yes, I promise on my dead grandmother. - Oh, really?

- Wow, you're evil. - I never fuckin' said that.

- You're evil. How can I pull this out of my ass? - I'm evil?

- How the fuck could I... pull this out of my ass? - I'm evil? I'm evil?

Claire and Francine started to throw down at the pavilion.

I was like, "that's just messy."

- I didn't say shit about any of these people. - And party all day.

Oh, my God. You're lying.

- You're a fucking liar. - You're lying!

When she's frustrated, she gets all agitated,

and that's when her temper flares up.

I mean, honestly,

Claire was making herself seem like an idiot.

But I never said...

You've made so many comments about everyone.

Fuck... Franny, you're a compulsive fuckin' liar.

- Oh, really? - You've lied...

- you have lied to me the entire fucking time. - Fuck you. Fuck you.

In the moments where I've hated Francine the most,

I would never have done this to her. I would never had said these...

I would never have wanted people to hate her.

Like, I honestly, like, yes, she's like, "yeah, Sara's hot,"

and I was like, "yeah," I was like, "she's cute,"

- she's not her type, but whatever. - But I'm like, "she's not my type,"

and all I said was that.

Yes, I may have made a joke...

All she said was she wasn't her type.

In the heat of the moment, like, da-da-da-da,

but, like, I have... I don't know these girls.

I'm not gonna talk shit about people I don't know.

Oh, come here, come here, come here, come here.

I just feel like I just...

I am not lying. Like, I'm being real, you know?

Yeah, I know, and the point is, is to make sure you're not.

I'm sorry. Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, but she's been talking shit about everyone.

- I know. I'm sorry. - You know I'm not a liar,

- and you know I'm real. - I know, I know, I know.

You know I'm not a fake person, right?

- I know, I know, I know. - You know that?

- Yes. - If I was a liar...

I'm a lot of things in life... I'm a cheater,

I'm an asshole, but I'm not a liar.

I just, like, don't like it when she lies.

I know, I know, I know, I know. I love you.

- Thank you, thank you. - All gonna be okay.

I know. Just hang in there, just hang in there.

When Claire is upset about Francine

or if anything happens in that area,

it very directly affects my day and my life.

Sometimes I really do get very annoyed,

because it's not my shit,

but it has indirectly become my shit,

and I'm like, "w... why?"

I just don't understand.

It's like I can't communicate.

Do you understand what I mean by, like... when I said to you

it's like, I can't communicate with her?

It's like there's no dialogue, it's just do-do-do-do-do,

and then it's just like...

you know?

It's like, I loved that girl for so many years,

and she fucked me so bad.

Tonight just sealed the deal that Francine really fucking hates me.

She just really wants

me to feel pain.

It's just...

if anything, it's... if there was ever a sign

to let this... to let this go, it is... this is the sign.

Oh, my God. Francine's crazy.

- Oh, thank you. - Hey, Lou.

Lou, Lou!

Lou, come on.

Come on, Lou.

Oh, those are the little pieces?

Yes, you're gonna love, I think.

So Vanessa is my business partner

in the jewelry line,

and I'm really excited, because at this point,

we are in a place to show the collection.

I want to wear them with hoodies, and, like, be...

It's so cute!

The one you were looking at... this one? Oh, this.

My line is called "Hija," which is Spanish for "daughter."

So it's me allowing myself to have something that is

mine and something that feels

close to my family and my father.

I got Udi's number.

Udi is the chief designer of this amazing website...

Love and Pride Jewelry.

He created the jewelry line for the original L Word,

and he...

gives 10% of the proceeds to lgbt charities,

so fingers crossed that we get to show it to him

and see if it's something that he would wanna

get involved with.

- So I'm gonna call him... - Okay.

And see. Yeah, I want... what he wants to do with us.

He wants to make us bagillion gazillionaires.

Hello.

Hi, this is Romi.

- Hey, Romi, how are you? - Good. How are you?

I'm good, good, good, good.

Yeah, well, the line... me and my business partner,

like, my friend Vanessa... she is a designer.

We both were finding something that was special to us,

which was, you know, like,

the Mexican side of our family,

like, my father, and her... her side of her family

and the colors

and the inspiration being behind that.

There's sentimental value behind this line for me,

and I want it to work so bad.

There's just so much of

me and her put into it

that I just want somebody to look at it

and love it just as much as we do.

We have little samples made, but they're

not anywhere near

what we could do, you know what I mean?

They're just sample pieces,

so that's where somebody like you would come in

and really be able to help us.

Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

Yay. Thank you.

I cannot wait to meet you.

Same here.

Bye.

He's so nice!

- He's gonna... - Whoo!

Figure out our date and our time,

and then we can meet with him.

- Are you excited? - Yeah!

Are you gonna cry on me?

I'm don't want to cry, 'cause then...

you're on your period... and then I'm gonna cry,

and then Yalda's gonna cry just 'cause she's next to us.

I might.

Now what Udi needs to see from me is the look...

the look of Hija, you know,

and he wants to see the collection.

I'm really excited. Working really hard

on something that you love doing and that you believe in,

like, is the best.

If somebody could pay me to just be doing this,

obviously, that'd be the best job in the whole world,

'cause I love it.

No matter what happens, can we still go and, like,

have a drink after?

I'll have a drink, you'll have a drink...

And you can have some club soda.

I'll have some club soda, yes, no matter what happens.

This is not gonna work at all.

Something isn't right?

I mean, you think?

Maybe we just duct-tape the shit out of the bottom.

In doing the shoot,

early idea was to get some of the other girls from the show

to come and... and... and participate,

but now, especially after last night,

I doubt that's gonna be the case.

Oh, God,

I hate it when I do... say stupid shit.

It's just so upsetting, because that was something

that was said, and, like,

I don't even fucking mean it.

I'm sure I've made some comments in passing

that probably weren't always complimentary,

but I completely feel like Francine misrepresented what I said.

Anyone would be a liar if they said they didn't do the same thing.

Mm-hmm.

And now I'm having to, like, acknowledge it,

because Francine wants to make me look like a...

the devil

and take it completely out of context.

- It's okay. - It's so fucking annoying

that Francine has to go and, like, literally,

like, completely just, like, make me look like a fool.

Like, it's so annoying.

It's just, like, so frustrating to me.

It's, like, I feel so stupid,

because Francine has to make me feel so stupid

every time.

It's okay. Okay.

It's like, I didn't even do anything.

I know, but just, you know...

Claire is a super brat.

She's a large child,

but she really does need to be able to apologize,

and be mature, and handle what she needs to handle.

It's like, how do I have the time

to sit around and think about them,

when I have moved into a new place?

I have you dumping me. I have Vivian...

Francine throwing my shit out, I have a...

trying to find an apartment,

trying to get a job, trying to set up this website.

I don't have the time to sit here and, like,

talk shit.

Yo, I'm really crushed about this Sassoon shit, man.

He didn't even call me. He fuckin' emailed me.

The fuckin' lamest email... he's like, "yo, Rachel,

due to unexpected budget cuts,

you know, we can't, like, offer you a position right now,

but we definitely want you.

We'll keep you posted."

Literally, it crushed me,

and I, like, cried my eyes out. Like, I was on the floor.

Like, I lost it, and, like...

- Then you... - This is my dream.

Okay, but... and that dream...

it doesn't mean you need to abandon that dream at all,

- you know? - I know, it's just like,

I have no job right now, dude.

It's lonely in L.A. when, you know,

you don't have your work or your comfort circle,

and, you know, granted, I have friends here,

but it's lonely.

I gave up my fuckin' life.

Whitney is hard to break through, you know?

And sometimes she's totally in her own world.

I wish she would open her eyes up a little

and maybe her heart and get out of Whitney world,

and, you know,

realize that I'm drowning a little here,

you know?

I am good.

- I am good, you guys. - No, I know you are.

What?

- What was that thing... - She's not in the right state.

I think Rachel is really stressed out and depressed.

I feel really, really bad for her,

because Rachel had expectations

that Whitney would kind of be a rock

and a support system for her,

and none of that is happening.

I think that you make beds and then make me lie in them.

I didn't fuckin' make any bed here.

Whoa!

Bye.

- How are you doin'? - Mm.

I was at work, and I was so excited,

because we were gonna take

the pregnancy test tomorrow morning.

I mean, today's day 28.

But then I started getting cramps...

I know.

Then I went to the bathroom, and

I got my period.

Thought maybe I was special, and it would just work.

Why wouldn't it, you know?

Like, no matter how hard I tried

not to get my hopes up,

and how I said I didn't get my hopes up,

like, I did, you know?

I don't know.

I just don't want to go through this again and again and again.

Like, it's only been one time, you know,

and it's taking so much...

It's okay, baby.

And, like, if it didn't work this time,

maybe it won't work next time or the next... I don't know.

All right, let's just take a deep breath.

I got two different tests.

Do you want to take them?

Yeah, I guess.

All right, boo, I'm right here.

Okay.

Nope.

What? It was that fast?

It already showed up, 'cause it's really fuckin' sure.

I guess there was this little part of me that thought,

you know, "we have the sperm, we've been...

I've been doing everything right. Why wouldn't it happen?"

And by it not happening, it just made me realize,

you know, it might not be

as easy as I would like it to be.

You know, this could go on for months, years.

I think that was the hardest thing.

- It's just disappointing. - I know.

Are we gonna try again in two weeks?

Do you want to try again in two weeks?

I really wanted a baby.

Did you get me a cigarette?

What do you think?

What kind of wife would I be if I didn't?

You got me a cigarette?

I got two.

I am clearly an enabler.

God, I can't believe I'm about to do this.

Three and a half weeks.

You don't have to do it.

I'm fucking doing it.

After all that drama the other night at Haute,

I thought it might be a good idea to get the girls together

and have a night without drama.

This looks like a land that needs to be soaped!

The backyard is a big mess,

so I came up with an idea... "hey, why don't we have a party,

and make a fun event

out of trying to landscape the yard?"

Wait, I made...

I made a Powerpoint presentation and everything.

- You did not really do it. - We're really doing this.

- It's a work... it's a working... - You made a Powerpoint?

I did. Really dorky.

- I love that about you. - Don't tease me.

Just gonna have a chill night and talk about

what everyone would like to contribute to the backyard.

Yeah? Hi, baby. How you feelin'?

- Good, how are you? - Good.

We got some serious work ahead of us.

So Francine comes up with this crazy excuse

to make us all do her yard work for her,

and she disguises it as a party...

the "landscaping party."

I was not joking

about the freakin' Powerpoint. Look... I was...

I was not joking about this landscaping project either.

Equal opportunity employer.

I don't really know these girls yet.

Um, I mean, we met before

at a club, but, I mean, you don't really talk

or get to know people at a club, so I'm

a little nervous.

All right, but I'm saying, like, I think that

there should be a very zen-looking... are you into zen?

- Mm-hmm. - And I'll manage the hoes.

So Sajdah's task is hoeing.

Hoe management. Hoe management.

Hoe management. I like that title.

- Okay, that's it. Next. - Go.

Sometimes I do feel like Sajdah and I

have polar-opposite personalities.

She's already in her... her zone,

where she's hyper and outgoing,

and I'm really uncomfortable in new social situations.

I get nervous,

and I kind of just slump into this quiet zone.

I'm not pressuring you to do anything,

but you're standing off in a corner.

- It doesn't make sense. - I'm not doing it on purpose.

Damn, I'm not like you. Just let me have my time

to talk to everyone and warm up the way that I want to.

So then I'm supposed to pretend like you're not there?

No, not that, but you're making an even bigger scene,

because you came in here when I would've been out in a minute,

- and I would've given... - So you ready to go out?

I would like a moment to myself.

You want the keys?

No, I don't need all that.

I don't know... like, she ended up, like, leaving

and being in the bathroom for a while.

I come in and talk to her,

she wasn't really trying to hear what I was saying.

I'm frustrated. I'm like, "forget it."

- Hi, baby. - Hey.

- How are you? - I'm all right.

- What's going on? - We need couples therapy.

- You what? - I said...

I said we need couples therapy.

What do you mean? What do you need therapy for?

- It's 'cause you went too fast. - I don't know...

like, she'll be, like, off in a corner,

so now it's like I'm here by myself, you know?

- Like, she's upset. Like, she's in the bathroom. - She's upset.

- Why? - Like, I'm...

well, 'cause I'm like...

I mean, I don't know... I guess I wasn't, like, the nicest.

Well, make her feel comfortable.

Just let her be her. Let her do it her own way

- and in her own time. - Makes sense.

You know what I mean? There, there's your therapy.

I'll send you a check in the mail... or a bill,

and you'll send me the check. Just be good to her.

- I'm gonna go get her. - She's a sweetheart.

- Go get her. - Thanks, mama.

You're welcome, babe.

I'm sorry.

All right, but it's...

- I told you that yesterday. - You're right.

And I want to apologize

for just now,

all right?

You gonna text, or we gonna talk?

I'm not even texting.

I'm fine.

I'm sorry.

This is not a situation to apologize.

No, but just now, like, the conversation we just had...

I apologize for that conversation.

If you're feeling something, then tell me.

No.

Tonight's a rough night, because we're realizing that

there's a lot we just don't know about each other yet.

Emotionally,

we just don't know enough about each other to function.

I'm out of here before I'm single.

No, it's not my purse.

I'm excited to dig in the dirt, hon.

I'm gonna get out of here and find a boyfriend.

Things were easier then. Good night.

Nice meeting you all. Nice to meet you.

Is she gonna say bye?

I'm just gonna meet her outside...

- Okay, give me a hug. - And then go.

- I don't know. Tell her I said bye. - Good night.

Chanel?

Come on, babe.

Huh?

So I'm gonna just stand here and wait till you finish your conversation?

It's over. It's time to go. Everyone's about to come out.

Okay, well, I... let me just finish this conversation,

'cause I'd like to talk to him in private.

This is no good at all.

I'm about to be on the couch.

You ready to go?

Chanel.

- Do I have a choice? - No, you don't. You're right.

You're right. You don't have a choice.

That's funny?

- What the fuck... what's going on? - Oh, my.

Why are you doing this?

So you're gonna ignore me like I'm not sit...

- I'm on the phone. Stop. - You can't call him back?

- No. - Why you can't call him back?

'Cause I was in the middle of a conversation that you interrupted.

I can't believe you're sitting on the fucking phone

like I'm not sitting here trying to talk to you.

Tell him you'll call him back, and we can leave.

This shit is funny to you.

It's not funny. I'm just...

Get the fuck off the phone, then.

This relationship matters to me...

beyond anything else that's going on in my life,

but somehow, you get in an environment,

and you forget that.

I have never in all of my life been in a relationship.

I have never sacrificed the me for someone else.

It's not easy for me to express myself like that.

It's not easy for me to be vulnerable.

You're laughing and being the...

the... the joke of the party, talking about hoes,

saying, "I got hoes," and this and that

and just want to be Mr. Funny person.

I don't feel that it's fair

That you're not allowing me my time

to grow and... and know these people on my own terms.

I've been feeling out of touch with my reality.

Are you fucking kidding me?

- No, I'm not. - No, that's why...

'cause you're not listening. You know what?

You're not listening. You're not listening.

- I'm ready to run again. - Run.

- I'm ready to run again. - Run.

You know, I ain't got time for this shit.

You stupid as shit.

I'll take you right back to where you trying to go.

Chanel, what do you want to do?

- 'Cause if you still want... - I want you

to just be real with me for a moment and let me see

and feel that you understand what I'm saying

and that I'm not going crazy by telling you the things...

- I feel like you are. - That I'm telling you... I'm not.

- I feel like you are. - I'm not.

I feel like you're going crazy.

Every time we're in a group setting,

if I don't react the way that you expect me to,

- you get upset. - You know what?

If we're so fuckin' different,

then why are we even having this conversation?

You're so dominating in the situation

that it overpowers the other people.

If you have a problem with that,

then you shouldn't be in a relationship with me.

It's moments like these

that really point out how different we are...

I mean, like, night and day.

Like, I get that Chanel is different

in social settings, you know?

But, like, this is me,

and I'm not gonna change for her or anyone else.

What am I doing wrong?

- I'm not critiquing you. - You are.

What the hell? You're critiquing me.

It's also about me.

- It's not about you! - Well, maybe that's the problem.

Maybe that's the problem,

'cause I'm not having this conversation again.

That's not what a relationship is about!

- Well, then let's not do it. - I had real feelings,

and you think that other people in this world

are gonna be like that... not everybody's like that.

We're young. This is new.

We promised to have fun every day.

I'm done with this, Chanel. Like, fuck it, man.

I'm not gonna change, 'cause I was...

- part of being in a relationship... - Oh, fuck it.

I give up! I give up!

I quit! I quit! I quit!

You want to try so hard to prove that you're right,

- and you... you are so wrong. - Well, then you know what?

If I'm so wrong, why are you still here?

Because I'm... I guess I'm just fucking stupid.

Stop fighting, please. Please stop fighting, 'cause I'm done.

Good night.

I fall out just as fast as I fall in,

so I'm out.

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