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I was visiting the beach

my grandmother used to take me to as a child.

I had her beautiful locket on around my neck.

Grand-dad had given it to her before they were married,

when he knew she was the one.

When Grand-dad passed away, she gave it to me and she said,

"I've lost the love of my life,

and now, it's time for you to find yours."

That night, I realized that the locket she had gifted me

no longer hung around my neck,

so I returned to the beach.

It was an impossible task.

I mean, the only light came from this sky full of stars

and a glow from a grand house on the shore.

I was on my hands and knees,

just sifting through grains of sand, when...

take a deep breath...

A beautiful young man came out of that grand house

on the shore to walk his dog.

He stopped right in front of me, and just then,

I kid you not,

a shooting star lit up the night sky

and illuminated my grandmother's locket right under his feet!

And we want our special day to reflect that magic.

A fairy tale should be celebrated like a fairy tale!

Okay, you're young, so I feel like I have to tell you

that there's no such thing as a real-life fairy tale.

Obviously, I'm not under the delusion

that I'm living in an actual fairy tale!

But never underestimate the power of romantic love.

Oh, I know, people love romance.

That's because everyone, deep down,

wants nothing more than someone to love.

It's the story of humanity!

I think you're skipping a couple wars...

It is why Shakespeare ended all of his comedies with a wedding.

Jane Austen, wedding.

It resonates on this primal level.

It's weird, because marriage

started as a contract of ownership,

and now, it's kind of evolved

into, at best, gross consumerism,

and at worst, a tax cut.

Yeah, I just thought part of your job

would be, like, in generating enthusiasm,

So, I just thought that as someone

who makes her living from weddings, so...

Oh, I don't make my living from weddings.

- Of course you do. - Mm-mm.

You're a caterer.

Well, you're forgetting funerals. People die every day.

I wanted to do business with you

because I'm friends with your sister.

She's my half-sister.

I am not going to hire a wedding caterer

who obviously has some issues with her love life.

Ha!

I'm in a very serious, loving relationship

built in love, not a contract, or marriage hocus-pocus!

This could have been a big contract for you.

Well, guess what, toots?

I have big contracts coming out of my ass!

Whoop, there went one!

Whoop, oh, there's another one!

Nathan?

Babe?

What are you doing? Where's our furniture?

You weren't trying to sneak out before I got home, were you?

Gaby, I'm leaving.

Now?

We have dinner reservations. I had to put my card down.

I told you I don't like fancy restaurants.

It's my birthday!

Excuse me.

Don't you care about me?

Look, we're wrong for each other.

I thought you were just going to stay for a week or two,

but we've been sitting here eating

and watching TV for months.

It's the golden age of television!

I've gained weight, I'm always getting sick.

People say I'm pale!

Well, we need to go to couples therapy.

We just need a neutral third party

to just take us by the hands...

No one goes to couples therapy for a three-month relationship.

We have no kids, no house, no cat.

Well, I wanted a dog.

So, get a dog.

You're free!

Get an alligator for all I care.

Wait a minute, you can't leave.

This is your fucking apartment!

And you can have it.

Where are you going?

You're gonna go stay with your parents or something?

You'd go crazy.

Stay, stay!

Come on, stay.

I'm moving in with someone, okay?

I've reunited with an old girlfriend.

Did she find you on Facebook?

Oh, my God, that is so pathetic.

We like board games.

Wow, so this whole time,

you've been sneaking around behind my back

to play board games?

Oh, my God, you've actually done the impossible.

You've managed to make having an affair... lame.

So bitchy.

Well, you're so boring!

Look what you're carting around.

Okay, this is you.

I'm out of here.

Oh, Gaby.

You can't leave me, come on!

I'm doing both of us a favour.

We had a terrible relationship.

"Have!" We have a terrible relationship!

I mean, come on.

I know I'm mouthy, and I'm irritable,

and I need to work on my core.

Look at me!

I'm a human being. Please!

Please, I have feelings, please!

Please, sir! Please!

Don't go.

I'm going to Sarah's.

Sarah?

Sarah! Sarah?

Wow!

Ugh, God.

I'm sorry I'm being such a downer.

Thanks for the flowers, though.

I really liked them.

Good, I didn't think I'd get to see you on your birthday.

Yay!

We were supposed to go to dinner tonight, me and Nathan.

Would you want to come?

Oh, I would,

but like, this has been planned for a long time.

Otherwise, I would have cancelled,

and then, tonight, Jeremy and I are going to see a show.

Mm, yeah, no worries, no worries.

This is super fun.

It's helping me take my mind off of stupid Nathan.

Well, to be honest with you,

it's a good thing you're not with Nathan anymore,

because Nathan is a bit of a drip.

He's like club soda. All bubbles, no taste.

He was like club soda no bubbles.

Why didn't you say anything when I first started seeing him?

I thought you might have a kid with him.

Yeah, I might have, I guess,

if it was the end times.

See? It all worked out for the best, Gaby.

Listen, go try something on.

I am going to go make you a cocktail.

Ew, no, no, no!

Go find your mom!

Amanda!

No, no, no!

He's touching all the cheese.

What are you, like cheese police?

He's five.

It's not like he's contagious, like he has typhoid.

Well, it's disgusting for everyone here.

He just loves his cheese, don't you, buddy?

Come on with Mommy.

There's some really amazing stuff out there.

Is there?

Mm-hmm.

How old are your kids?

I don't have kids.

Why would you assume I have kids? Not everyone has kids.

I'm so sorry, I shouldn't make assumptions.

Well, no need to apologize.

I don't feel bad about it.

You know, I'm a business owner,

so I'm kind of more focused on my career.

I'm a mom and a hematologist.

Oh, cool.

So, I guess hematology is one of those careers

where you can have kids.

My husband and I make a great team.

We make it work.

And Amanda, you have your photography.

Yeah, but photography is a passion.

Having kids and practicing law was too much.

Yeah, it's also that kids are really bad for the environment.

So, it's kind of, I guess you could say, an ethical thing.

Tiny feet, big footprint.

But there's ways to reduce your footprint,

like this clothing swap!

So, let's get out there before all the good stuff is gone!

And who knows?

Your kids could grow up to create a source of green energy.

Or find the cure for cancer.

Or make peace in the Middle East!

Or she could shoot up her high school.

It's a grab bag.

Oh, Gaby.

I would be concerned that down the road,

you might regret your choice, and by then, it'll be too late.

Huh, feels like it could go either way, though, right?

Like, you could have a kid and then, be like, "Oh, shit!

I didn't really want to do this."

And by then, it's definitely too late.

But aren't you just terrified that when you're old and alone,

no one will care about you.

Yes! Yeah.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Come on in.

♪ Happy birthday dear Gaby ♪

- Who is this person? - Who is she?

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

Thanks.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, guys, thanks.

You're not the only two people in the world.

God!

Uh...

Forget that?

Thank you.

Yeah.

Take care.

Hey, Dad.

Everything all right?

Great.

You grew a beard!

Oh, yeah, yeah. A couple of months ago.

I've never seen you with a beard, it's interesting.

It kind of makes you look Satanic,

like a cult leader or something.

Maybe that's what you're going for, devilish.

So, how's business?

I'm doing a 50-year wedding anniversary.

50, whoo, they got me beat!

I know, they have us all beat.

Uh, I brought you a birthday gift.

Oh, thank you.

Oh.

Do you like it?

- Yeah, that's great! - Try it on.

Oh, gosh, no, I've been cooking all day.

It's the right size, I'm sure it'll fit.

Um, thank Julia for choosing it for me.

I chose it myself.

Julia told me what colour would look good with your hair,

but I chose it.

Hmm, well, I'm surprised.

So, did you have a good birthday?

Yeah, it was great. Amanda had a party.

How's...

Oh, gosh, why can't I remember his name?

It's Nathan. We broke up.

I'm sorry.

Well, it's not a big deal.

I've moved on, don't worry about it.

You got a new boyfriend?

No, I've moved on like emotionally.

It's minor, it's not a big deal.

There's a lot of fun in being single.

I've been there!

But there comes a time when it's healthy to settle down.

Mm-hmm.

You know, not every woman has to settle down.

We're not living in some dusty, old bonnet novel.

It's not criticism, it's concern.

It's like you act like I'm going to be an old bag lady.

I never said anything like that.

I just want you to be happy.

Well, maybe I am happy.

I just came by to drop off a birthday present.

Why am I the bad guy?

You're always disappointed in me.

Worried, I worry.

I'm your dad, that's what I do. Worry.

Well, don't, okay?

I have to deliver these.

Thanks so much for the gift.

Hey.

Hey!

Here you go.

Oh, a birthday beer!

Is this your birthday?

Are you fucking kidding me?

I thought you invited me here for my birthday.

No, I did not.

God.

It's been four years since Mom died,

and she was the only one who gave a shit.

Really, I ruined your birthday? I did that?

I have that much power?

Um, no, Nathan did, actually.

He broke up with me, he dumped me.

Nathan.

I don't think I met him.

Of course you met Nathan.

We talked about wanting to get a dog.

Oh, yeah, yeah!

So, you're not getting a dog?

Well, we just broke up, right?

So, if you follow that train of thought through,

why would we get a dog together?

'Cause you're always breaking up with somebody.

If you really wanted a dog, you'd just get yourself a dog.

Well, I don't really feel like I can get a dog right now

because what if I finally meet someone,

and then, they don't like dogs,

or they have an allergy or a phobia?

Yeah, Sheila got a dog.

You know it cost me $2000, that thing?

I didn't even want it.

Then, I come home from work and she'd make me walk the dog

so it could take its daily shit,

then it'd take the shit, I got to clean it up.

I bet she loved watching that,

all part of her sick, sadistic bullshit.

Why am I here?

Oh, look, I...

I want to offer you an opportunity.

Spend a little more time with your niece.

Why does this sound like you're selling a timeshare?

No, look,

Sheila completely changed the custody arrangements on me.

Now, I get Thursdays.

She took away my Tuesdays.

That was the time Adele and I would go see a movie.

It was like our special thing, you know?

So, just do it on Thursdays.

Oh, I'd love to, but I can't.

You see, Sheila found out through various sources

that Thursdays are my open mic nights.

I think she knew that by switching to Tuesdays,

she'd be fucking me over.

I think she's trying to block me

from doing my stand-up comedy or something.

Stand-up?

Yeah, it's like she knows how important it is to me

and she's just trying to... fuckin' stick it to me.

Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were doing comedy. Stand-up comedy?

Yes, stand-up comedy!

What? Come on.

I don't want to be an accountant for the rest of my life.

I mean, it pays the bills, yeah,

and the bills are pretty freaking huge right now.

But I don't know, it doesn't leave a lot of room

for the other side of me, you know?

Right, the comedy side.

The very funny comedy side.

Hey, there's a lot of money in stand-up comedy

if you know what you're doing.

There's probably a lot of money in accounting, no?

I've been studying, all right?

Monologues from the highest-grossing comedians

of all time,

and there's a real formula to it.

If you look at the intervals between jokes,

it's like they accelerate

and they decelerate in these really striking patterns.

I don't know. I think it's something you can get good at

if you're smart and you pay attention, you know?

So, you're working to become the opposite of naturally funny.

And you want me to babysit Adele?

You're her aunt.

I thought you might like the opportunity

to get to know her a little better.

I mean, you hardly spend any time with her, as it is.

Come on.

Fine, I'll babysit your daughter that I barely know

'cause we don't ever hang out.

I appreciate it.

And happy freakin' birthday to you.

Okay, I don't like beer, something else you should know.

Guys! Oh, my God, look!

It's... it's... a girl!

Oh, a girl! A live one!

Why aren't you pixelated?

Please accept my beautiful virginity.

Can I smell your hair?

Can I put your hair in my mouth?

You read my text.

Activities for a 10-year-old!

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Why not?

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Just search the web, you fucking asshole!

God!

Why offer the feature?

So, everyone our age has already been married.

They've had kids, gotten divorced,

and I'm just still single.

I'm gonna be a spinster.

Gabby, I think as a society we've progressed to the point

where we can forget the word "spinster."

My great-aunt Elise was a spinster.

She used to smoke two packs of Camel filters

every single day of her life.

We got her a flame-proof nightgown

every year for her birthday.

She died in her bathtub.

They found her body a week later.

Well, it wasn't even a body.

It was like a gel, at that point.

It was like a slurry...

Okay, enough.

I think they took her remains out through the freight elevator

'cause they didn't want to upset

the other people in the apartment.

Gaby, you're not going to end up like that.

There's a lady living above me, she's probably a spinster too.

So, I haven't heard any noise up there in like a couple weeks.

She's probably dead.

She's probably just quiet.

Yeah, quiet as a ghost.

All right, let's get you dating again.

You're probably right, I should join a gym.

Start working out again,

I got fat as fuck with Nathan.

I just... I don't want to date anymore.

I'm done, I'm sick of it. It's hell.

Yeah, but man, embrace it.

There's a lot of married people,

uh, one I know very well,

who are jealous of your freedom.

You get to have all that...

..sex.

Yeah, I get to have a lot of sex, great, whoopee.

Yay, I can have one-night stand after one-night stand.

Okay, yeah, I want to hear what you're saying, but...

Hurrah, but know what? I'll tell you what.

There comes a night when you're on your couch,

you just had a bourbon sour,

and you have some stranger's dick in your mouth...

Ah, ha, ha, ha!

I'd full on rather be knitting.

I'm imagining yarns.

I feel like you need to raise your standards.

Wait a minute, you're the one who told me to

lower my standards; that's how I met Nathan.

Well, I disagree with my former self.

You need to tackle this strategically,

accepting that you're not gonna accept

the first guy who comes along.

Gaby, you need to choose, okay? Not be chosen.

Fuck, I'm going to have to go online.

No one's going to click on a 39-year-old woman.

Dude, lie. Everybody lies on dating profiles.

Duh!

Oh, after Willow's soccer ends, there's adult softball.

Softball? Wow, that sounds so cool.

Do you know any other hip scenes?

Is there a chess league I could join?

Oh, and point two, I have a very attractive chiropractor.

I'm not stalking your chiropractor.

I don't know if we're absolute sure that he's single,

- but he's... - Well, even worse.

And also, you know what?

Chiropractors can trigger strokes in people, so...

That's just a myth.

Is it? Is it?

What he said.

I know you're gonna find someone if you put your mind to it.

You just need some encouragement.

Thanks.

That was more than a fart.

No!

Do you really even want to find your forever relationship?

Yes, I guess. I don't know, yeah.

Well, then it's do or die.

Argh!

Oh, come on!

Swing at it!

We want a pitcher, not a belly itcher!

Get out here!

All right, my bad. That's ball four.

Free ride to first base, babies!

Nice hit, all right, all right, all right!

Hustle!

Over here!

Are you playing or what?

Sorry.

If you're in the game, you're in the game.

Sorry, I wasn't paying attention!

What's your name again?

Brandy.

Brandy, get to the bench!

My god, dude, it's just a game.

Just a game to you,

but not to this team.

Yeah, exactly. It's a practice for a game.

It's not even a game.

You need to leave the field.

Leaving!

Yeah, real sportsman-like.

Yeah, that's right, thanks a lot.

You suck, Brandy!

Give us back our shirt!

Cool, great!

Argh!

Oh, come on!

Oops, didn't see it! My bad!

Nice, real nice.

And there and Namaste.

Karate!

Here, let me check your bag.

Hey, so what's on the agenda?

What have you got going on?

Well, I made a reservation to go rock climbing.

Oh, rock climbing!

Adele, you hear that?

You like rock climbing?

I've never been rock climbing before.

Oh, don't worry.

You guys are going to have so much fun together.

You need me to drive you someplace?

- Yeah. - No, we're good.

I'll drive, you go.

I'm sure you got a lot to prepare. Good luck!

Thanks. Okay, sweetie,

I'll talk to you when I get home, okay?

- Okay. - Okay, I love you.

- Love you, too. - Be good.

Mm-hmm. Snail!

See ya, wish me luck.

Good luck!

So, we should go.

Okay.

That's it, you're almost up there.

You're doing great, sweetie!

It's okay, you're on a rope.

Don't use your legs!

You know you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

No, I like trying new things!

Okay, just know I wouldn't be upset if you didn't.

But you've already paid!

It'll be fun.

All right, I'll be right here if you need me, okay?

Okay.

That's it, yeah! Grab that last one.

Nice job, honey.

No, don't get scared, it's okay.

Bruce, Bruce, left hand, L2.

Ah, there you are, handsome.

Keep going, keep going.

It's okay if you fall.

All right.

Don't look down.

Just keep going.

Got it.

Bruce, left hand to L2.

Don't worry, honey. You can come down anytime.

Good job!

You got this.

Don't be scared.

You got it, honey.

Keep going, keep going.

Adele, you okay?

I want to come down.

Okay, okay, come down, come down.

Oh, there you go.

Why didn't you just tell me you were scared of heights?

Because I need to work on that.

It's all in my head.

Hmm, okay.

Well, what do you want to do next week?

I don't know. I'm easy.

You want to go to a movie?

Okay!

But I kinda save those for my dad.

He loves movies.

Okay, then we won't do that.

Why don't we do what you like to do?

Me? What about you?

What do you like to do?

I don't know. What do you like to do?

Um, hmm, I like...

Well, I knit.

I could teach you how to knit if you'd like that.

I can knit my mom a sweater!

Grandma knit me a sweater.

Yeah, I think she knit all of us that same sweater.

I put it on my stuffie.

So I can remember her.

All right, well, let's make this our goal.

We're gonna teach you how to knit.

We'll start on a scarf.

That's what people usually start on.

- Yeah! - Yeah.

- Okay. - All right.

All right, well, I should get you back to your dad.

Um, excuse me?

Sorry, hi.

So sorry to meet you this way.

I'm your neighbour, Callie.

Hi, I'm Gaby.

Yeah, hi. You're new here, right?

Relatively new?

Couple months.

Well, welcome.

Good neighbourhood, I've been here for 34 years.

Cool.

Um, I don't want to keep you.

I have come down with this awful cold,

and I cannot get rid of this headache.

Doesn't sound good.

Well, that's what I get

for going out without my hat.

Um, would you possibly have any Advil that I could borrow?

I could go to the store,

but, oh, I just feel so rotten.

I think I actually do.

Oh!

You are a lifesaver, thank you.

You should come around and chat sometime.

Totally, totally.

You know where I am. Bye!

Wow, yeah!

Better?

Yeah, that released things.

Tensions, yeah.

On your back.

Yep.

Your left leg's longer than your right by quite a bit.

Oh, cool.

Can I get you to scoot on your side for me, please?

I was so happy I could get an appointment in the evening.

Do you work a lot of evenings?

Most of my clients have day jobs,

so unfortunately, I have to put in three nights a week.

Mm, evenings are tough.

You know, it's a big sacrifice for your family, I bet.

That's what you sign up for.

Yeah, I know how it goes, actually.

I'm a caterer, so I work all kinds of odd hours.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Wow!

We're both small business owners, kind of cool.

Just breathe normally.

Did you get out of the city for the summer?

Family cottage or something?

I'm not a cottage guy.

Me neither.

It's like you sit on a dock, you drink, you get sunburned.

You're not even allowed to flush the toilets.

Like, how fun is that?

Oh, boy!

How's that feel?

Oh, you're good, yeah.

My shoulders, they feel kind of loose and jiggly.

You should feel it in your feet.

I can't feel my feet.

I'm kidding.

My feet feel really flexible, wow.

Is that mug from your wife?

My mother.

Mm, mm.

All right, then.

I'd like to see you next week.

Me too, yeah.

The doctor would like to see you

for a series of 12 appointments.

Single treatments are less cost-effective

than bundles of five.

Yeah... okay.

Listen, before we book all of these,

I just want to ask you point-blank just because...

just because I will!

Um, is the doctor single?

No, he's married.

To me.

Hmm.

We take debit or credit.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

That was really good food.

Thanks, yeah.

Remember Mom's turkey?

She got every ounce of moisture out of it.

It was like turkey jerky.

Maybe she hated cooking

'cause she was too busy working

while Dad was running around with your kindergarten teacher.

Nah, she was a drunk.

She was an alcoholic.

It's a disease, don't you know?

Right, well, you always defend her

because you guys had a good relationship.

She never even touched me.

Yeah, well, she wasn't really a very touchy person.

All I know is I'm glad we're not having to celebrate

fake Christmas with Dad anymore.

Oh, my God, I hated fake Christmas.

But you know, I understand why he did it.

I do the same thing with Adele.

No, it was just so depressing

pretending Christmas was the week before

so Dad could celebrate real Christmas in the Caribbean.

Yeah, maybe Dad would have felt guilty if we left Mom alone.

Yeah, he should feel guilty.

I mean, Julia never wanted us around.

I still have a lot of anger towards him

for leaving us and starting a new family.

It's just like, I don't know, it fucked me up.

Yeah, you really got to work on that.

Oh!

You shave everything from the neck down.

Wow, does that really cut down on wind resistance that much?

Well, I think most women would find it peculiar

to call you "Sir Gawain."

I don't know, why am I single? You tell me.

You're right, I'm not a fashion expert.

Maybe ascots will make a comeback. Who knows?

But why would a bunch of Jews want to run the Vatican?

I'll be honest, I guess I never really listen to Rush.

Excuse me.

I mean, I can't find someone

to meet my high standards or my low standards.

It can't be that bad.

It is. You haven't been single for 20 years.

Finding love isn't magic, it's hard work.

What if you do that hard work,

and then, you still don't find someone?

Well,

that's statistically unlikely.

Okay, but that doesn't mean it's not possible.

You could be searching your whole thirties,

and still nothing.

Yeah, it's possible. Anything's possible.

Being struck by lightning is possible.

Exactly, that's realistic.

Is it guaranteed someone will want to marry you?

No, it's not guaranteed, sweetheart,

but it usually happens for most people.

What about for a serial killer?

Yeah, lots of serial killers are married.

Oh.

Hmm, that's cool for serial killers, that's good.

You haven't found the right one till you found the right one.

Are you done with this?

Sure.

Thanks, Mom.

How's the wine?

It's good, yum. It's really good.

Cool, cool.

So, you're... 29?

Yep, I'm a 29-year-old Olympic long-jumper from Sweden.

Olympic long-jumper?

You speak Swedish, I guess?

Yep.

Look, you wrote an amazing profile,

and you're rocking the shit out of the performance of it

for me right now.

Performance, yeah, thank you.

Uh, so, why? You know, why the lie?

It's an algorithm.

Right, I just checked a couple extra boxes,

put a little of this, little of that.

I'm just trying to rope in the numbers.

That's where you thrive is high numbers.

But you know,

say this hypothetically was actually going well,

eventually we'd have to tell one another the truth, right?

I mean, what then?

By then, we'd already be madly in love.

No, listen, it's not gonna go well.

I know it's not.

These things never go well, that's just how it goes.

So, why play the game?

We're all playing the game, right?

Just, I don't know, I want to have someone to kiss,

maybe someone to hug, fuck,

I don't know, have breakfast with.

If I die, they could throw a little dirt on my grave.

Wow, that got dark.

Well, listen, I don't know,

this is insane that we're here

to have dinner on Valentine's Day, first time, first date.

We shouldn't have done this.

How about I pay for the meal, and you just take off?

I'll keep the leftovers.

No, no, no, don't, please. Come on, stick around.

- It's fine. - Stick around, please.

Please finish the drink, something. Really?

Please, just release me.

What about if I call this guy?

Hail Mary play.

Oh, my God.

Gaby, will you accept this rose?

It would be my great honour.

Thank you!

Whoo!

I'm glad this happened.

Me too.

So, I guess Valentine's Day

didn't turn out as badly as we thought, huh?

Oh.

Oh, my God!

It's 2 o'clock in the morning.

Oh, we should sleep!

I should really go?

You can stay if you want.

Uh, I don't know about you,

but I got to work in the morning.

I mean, I can set an alarm

and drive you home in the morning, if you want.

Yeah, you think you're actually going to be, um, sober by then?

I'm, like, practically sober right now.

I should probably really actually get to the gym,

so, um, I'm going to take a pass.

Mm.

Uh, good luck with this whole dating thing.

Yeah.

It really can be a bitch.

Yeah.

So, um...

Um...

Take care.

You too, man.

Good luck and, um, Godspeed.

Oh, my goodness.

Hi! Hi, puppy.

Hey, pup.

Hi.

Whoa!

Hi.

Hey.

Oh, my goodness! Who is this?

This is my new used dog, Trudy.

Oh, Trudy! She's beautiful.

You two look great together.

Thank you.

Listen, uh, I wanted to invite you to a party

that I'm having next week with a few friends.

Thursday night?

Oh, rats.

Thursdays I'm with my niece.

Bring her along.

Yeah, she's...

she's kind of a planner,

so I'll see what she has organized.

Okay, well, we all love children,

so I hope you two can make it.

Bye, Trudy! Bye!

Thanks, take care.

Trudy, you devil.

Make yourself at home.

I know, I'm getting a couch delivered tomorrow.

Ah, thought you'd gone minimalist.

That's a thing now.

Oh, heh!

She's a beauty.

Isn't she?

And she's also got the sweetest disposition.

Remember Whiskey? He was a good dog.

He was a leg humper.

Do you not remember that time with Grandpa?

Oh, hard to forget.

I tried!

I-I came here...

Oh, I don't want you to take this the wrong way.

What?

I was thinking about you,

and your brother and sister.

And it occurred to me

that since I paid for both of their weddings,

and I want to treat all my kids equally,

it's not fair to you

if maybe you were to make a decision in your life

that maybe a wedding wasn't in your future,

for whatever reason

Yeah, I'm really not that interested

in conventional bullshit.

And I support you.

Julia supports your decision, too.

Cool, yeah, cool.

I don't really care what Julia thinks.

It's your life, but I want to be fair

and I want to give you the same as I gave Artemesia and Alex.

Okay, well, you gave her Grandma's wedding ring,

and I'm pretty sure there's only one of those.

She was the first granddaughter to get married.

It doesn't matter.

You don't have to get married to have a wedding ring.

That's what was in the will. I'm just following her wishes.

I'm in a no-win situation.

She doesn't even remember Grandma, okay? I do!

Grandma taught me how to bake.

She didn't have a lot of jewelry.

I don't have anything to give you.

Well, I have a Bundt pan.

Look, I...

And a muffin pan.

Actually, I have two muffin pans.

I came here, as I was saying,

to give you some money,

so you could, I don't know,

put a down-payment on a house if you want,

or put it away for retirement.

Oh, wow.

It's your decision.

Well, I always wanted to open a restaurant.

Most restaurants don't last more than a year.

It's a risky enterprise.

So are weddings.

You're telling me!

Think on it. It's a lot of money.

All right, well, it's really nice of you.

You didn't have to do that.

I want to be fair.

It's $25,000.

Okay, her wedding was no less than 40.

I'm in the business, Dad.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

But you know what she's like.

She got a lot of deals and discounts.

Mm-hmm, like on catering.

Like on catering.

Can I teach her to play dead?

Eh. She's a little old. It might hurt her feelings.

Okay, well then, how 'bout Frisbee?

Yeah, Frisbee, sure. That's easy.

I wish I could get a dog.

You have a gecko.

I left the window open and the next morning, it was dead.

Oh my God.

Things are brutal in your house.

Yep.

Hmm...

Interesting.

What?

Very interesting.

Well, I'm thinking about opening up a restaurant,

and this place looks really good.

You have to do it. That'd be so fun.

Well, I'm just thinking about it.

I still have the catering company and... I don't know.

Aren't you gonna add the number to your contacts?

All right.

Got it.

Got it.

I don't think I've ever been in this neighbourhood, ever.

Yeah, I know. It's really nice.

So, what do you think?

Sick.

Now that you've finished your scarf,

you've graduated to a hat.

You could choose any colour that you like.

What do you think?

Uh, I think you're the one who's gonna be knitting it

and wearing it,

so you should choose a colour that you just love.

You're the expert knitter here,

so... you know what I should get.

Okay. All right. Hmm... hmm.

Here you go, this is your colour.

It's... perfect.

Really? It's perfect?

Are you feeling how itchy that is for a hat?

And you can not tell me you like this colour

more than all the other colours.

You don't really like it and you should be able to tell me that.

It's not a big deal. It's okay.

I like it, but now that you mention it,

I'm open to other choices.

Okay. You should be.

You shouldn't pick my favourite colour, right?

You should pick yours.

You don't have to make me happy,

or your dad or mom, for that matter.

I know that.

Yeah. So, don't choose that ugly-ass wool, right?

Choose one that you like.

That was totally suckfish wool.

It was.

Hmm...

This one.

I don't really like that one, though.

- Okay. - I'm kidding!

That's great.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Oh, my lawyer, he got me Tuesday nights back,

in exchange for the entire Easter Weekend, but hey...

So, when am I on?

Oh, we're good.

You don't have to sub in anymore.

Oh, but I'm teaching Adele how to knit a hat.

We already bought the wool.

I don't know. Well, you guys can still hang out, obviously.

I just don't need you every single week.

But I love it.

I'm sure you do.

Everyone loves hanging out with Adele...

that's why I'm always in court.

Well, she wanted to play Frisbee with Trudy

and we haven't done that yet.

Who's Trudy?

Oh, right. I got a dog...

something you would know if you gave a shit about my life,

which you clearly don't.

Something you might want to think about here...

the whole world does not revolve around you.

I know, I know. It's cause it's busy revolving around you.

What about me? I think it would be fair

if somebody asked me what I want to do.

Well, of course, sweetie. I'm only thinking about you.

I got us our movie nights back, just like before.

Okay. But I also want a time with Gaby.

Well, sweetie, you've got school and tutoring

and whatever else your mother's got you in,

and with the way we've got to split time,

I'm sorry, it's not that flexible, okay?

I don't have a lot of options to work with on this.

Well, you and Mom are going to have to make it work.

I never ask you for anything.

Well, I got you the gecko.

It died.

Oh, okay, okay.

I'll work something out, okay?

I'll talk to Gaby and we'll do something.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm wide open.

Okay. You got your bag?

- Let's go. - Yeah.

I'll be in touch.

Oh, hey, Gaby. Oh, I'm so glad you came.

Where's your niece?

Oh, um, my brother took her home. Yeah.

Oh, that's too bad. Well, I'm glad you're here.

Hey, everybody, this is Gaby,

and somebody get her a goddamn drink.

Yeah, I know, I've got way too much crap,

but, ah, I love it all.

This is cool.

Oh, that has a curse on it.

Kidding.

Where did you get all these different things?

Oh, you know, I'm a field biologist,

so I'm always up to my neck

in some fucking rainforest or another,

and I always mean to deal with this,

but then I come home and add more to it,

and I just can't seem to get it organized.

This crew is a very high maintenance bunch.

She means her students.

Especially the PhDs.

You'd retire if you didn't love us so much.

Maybe I will.

You always say that.

And you, the fish people...

Oh, please. If I have to hear about the superiority

of bird eggs to fish eggs one more time...

It is a false comparison.

Hatching ratios...

Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls,

maybe not that fascinating

to our new and very special guest.

No, no. Please, don't stop on my account.

This is... this is interesting.

I'm sure it is, yeah.

Continue!

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, give me that.

I'll take care of it. You're my guest.

I'm a caterer; we clear dishes constantly.

No.

Here.

Thanks.

Your students were telling me some pretty crazy stories.

Oh, yeah.

Well, life in a research station's

like being at a summer camp; we have a lot of fun.

Can I ask a kind of weird question

and you don't have to answer?

Yeah.

Did you ever want kids?

Do you mean do I regret not having kids?

Sure.

How old are you?

39.

Ah, yes, I remember my thirties...

a lot of my colleagues leaving the field,

scrambling to find somebody to have babies with.

It was hard to watch.

They were all feeling

the pressure of the biological clock.

But you didn't feel it?

You know, a big part of me really wanted to have kids.

I love kids.

But I guess an even bigger part of me

wanted something different, wanted this.

And, you know, there comes a time when you gotta say,

"Fuck it.

"I'm breaking the mould.

"I'm taking the road less travelled.

"And everybody else,

"they should mind their own goddamn business."

Yeah. My thing is I don't know what road I want to travel.

Find what works for you.

I mean, we women, we don't all want the same thing

or need the same thing.

It's just an insult to say that we do.

There's nothing wrong with you, Gaby.

I'm very proud of Alex. I'm proud of all of my kids.

He's got a lot going for him,

but I've never thought of him as... funny.

Even when he was a kid, he was serious, intense.

I mean, he wasn't funny in school.

I don't think I've ever heard him tell a joke.

You were funny.

Well, I had to be; I was weird looking.

You were a beautiful child.

Funny was just the icing on the cake.

That's nice, you coming tonight and supporting your brother.

Well, we really don't have a relationship, but...

Oh, you have a relationship, all right.

Not an easy one, hmm?

People are difficult.

That's the right amount.

You'll be able to start

the nicest little restaurant in town.

Thank you.

I mean it... thank you.

Hey.

Yeah, all right. Hello, everybody.

Nice to be here with you.

Ahh, a little bit about me... my wife... oh, my wife...

after vowing the whole better or worse, sickness or health thing,

when ahead and left me.

Yeah, and not even for another guy.

Nope. Not for another girl. No, no.

She left me for no one.

That's right, folks,

she would rather be with no one than be with yours truly.

So, uh, yeah.

I got a lot of friends telling me

that maybe I should start doing therapy, right?

Take more vitamins.

Do yoga. That's a big one, huh? Yoga,

like that's gonna help. But I do it.

You know, I do the downward dog,

I do the crane, I do the whole thing.

But, jeez, I'm real bad at it, folks, I'll tell ya. Just awful.

Just this lanky pile of goo

and, uh...

I, uh...

Sorry. I, uh...

I guess I just fall apart sometimes,

you know, and, uh...

I don't know about dating these days, though.

I'll tell ya, I am getting a lot older.

Things have changed.

Let's just say two and a half decades ago,

when I was on the market, hairy balls... no problem.

- Eww. - But I'll tell ya, jeez,

these girls these days that I'm dating,

they're like, "Oh my God, you gotta shave."

Shave? You want me to shave my balls?

Fuck that, folks.

I'm 45 years old. I'll suck my own dick,

and I can... I do yoga.

It's okay, you can clap. Thank you. Thank you.

So, it's, uh... a few other things.

I guess, the in-laws...

Jeez, I hope that wasn't too awkward.

Awkward? What do you think? I was sitting with Dad.

Oh my God. I know.

Did he laugh at, like, any of the jokes?

I don't know. I was trying not to look at him.

I was avoiding all eye contact the whole time.

Yeah. Fair. What'd you think?

Was I funny?

I mean, compared to the other comedians,

yes, you were a genius.

Yeah?

What part you like best?

Um...

the camping stuff with your in-laws, I guess.

Yeah?

Hey, I made a lot of that up, you know,

just for, like, comedic effect.

Mm-hmm. Well, it was funny.

Yeah.

Oh, maybe I'll call Dad, see what he thought.

Okay, well, before you call Dad, um, you know, just know,

no matter what he says, like,

took a lot of... dare I say... balls

to get up there and do that,

and even if you never do stand-up again...

which I suggest you don't...

...you should be proud of yourself.

Well, thank you very much. I appreciate that.

But this is not going to be the last time I do stand-up.

It should be.

If that's the last thing I ever do, I'll kill myself.

That was rough.

Hang on.

Hey, Gaby. What's up?

Okay.

I just had to tell someone,

I just signed the lease on my restaurant.

No way.

That's so exciting!

Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty happy.

That's amazing!

Thanks.

Wow. Congratulations!

Thanks.

Oh, do you want to come in?

Oh, no. You're busy.

No, it's just a few neighbourhood people

dropped by for some dinner.

Oh. God, it looks more formal than that.

Um, no, I should go.

No, don't be silly. Listen, Jeremy hates these things.

He always says there's too much drama.

You could help me keep it civil.

Cheers.

Gaby just signed the lease on her new restaurant.

I just spontaneously popped by.

Congratulations.

There are so many good restaurants in the city.

Yeah, I just bought an Argentinean wood grill.

It's five feet long, so the party's at our place next time.

I wish we could cook like that.

We're in the Goldfish,

chicken nuggets phase for a few more years.

You're a restauranteur... you're gonna appreciate this.

Oh, yeah. Nice.

It's the bomb.

Before I went to med school,

I always dreamed of opening a restaurant.

Oh, you don't want a restaurant.

That's typically high risk,

low reward. You're never with your family.

I guess that's the advantage of being single.

You're single?

That's ridiculous.

There must be someone in my firm I can set you up with.

Oh, no, please. I'm single by choice, so...

- Really? - Yeah.

Nobody's single by choice.

Well, I am,

and that's actually a lot of benefits to it.

Being single was a lot of fun.

Yeah. You know, I can leave my apartment,

and I come back, and it's exactly how I left it.

I could fly off to Paris at the drop of a hat. You know?

And get a dog, which I did. She's awesome.

But what if you met the perfect guy?

There is no perfect guy.

So, you don't want kids?

Uh, you don't have to be in a relationship to have kids now.

There's all kinds of ways people do it. But no, I don't.

Yeah, I think it's very selfish.

Wouldn't you be more selfish

for wanting a little replica of yourself?

Well, some of us have to be the adults in the room,

some of us have to grow up.

I mean, who do you think's gonna pay for your pension?

There's a rhetorical question. It's my kids.

Well, we have four kids.

One of them can pay for Gaby.

Well, what happens when she turns 80?

Stop.

Who's gonna take care of her?

Your mother lives in a nursing home.

Well, that's because it works for her.

There's activities there.

She must be grateful.

I'm not really planning my life for my eighties because,

you know, who knows if any of us are even gonna make it that far.

80's the new 65.

We'll be half titanium and still taking spin class.

Okay, let's move on. Who wants dessert?

- Yes. - Yes.

Let's move on. We should.

Listen, all I'm saying is it's fun now,

but when you get older, people aren't as receptive.

You're not gonna be as...

attractive as you are right now.

You can't handle a threat to the patriarchy.

If this is the patriarchy...

If?

Yeah, if this is a patriarchy,

Amanda, it's working out pretty well for you. Huh?

With your "photography."

Being a stay-at-home mom is a choice.

Sorry, are we talking about me now?

I am more than a stay-at-home mom.

Yeah, she's an artist, Blair.

All I'm saying is you're going to have regrets,

big regrets. Trust me.

Trust you? Sorry, who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck are you?

Sorry I ruined your party.

He ruined it.

It was lively.

So, are you a committed single now?

No. I mean, it was bullshit.

I just said it 'cause why should I have to defend my life

to a table of strangers?

I guess.

You were pretty badass, going a women's studies on him.

Shit. People are dicks to single women.

Well, I shouldn't have come.

Don't be silly. It's my house.

Well, it was a couples party.

It was a drop-in.

Okay, but everyone was very dressed up.

I didn't think you'd want to come.

It's so boring.

I was at a dinner party where we discussed

the toxicity of fabric softener for 20 minutes.

I'm not even exaggerating. 20 minutes.

Well, it is shockingly toxic.

It's terrible.

Yeah, I don't know. I just kind of thought...

maybe you didn't want to be friends anymore.

Gaby...

Well, we only hang out

when you're driving your kids somewhere or doing housework.

That's my job.

Yeah, well, I don't know,

I need some element of friendship out of a friendship.

There were times when I was stuck inside a house

with a kid, so bored, so lonely,

and were always off with some guy, right?

Hmm. Um, well, I'm sorry.

I had no idea you felt that way.

I miss how it used to be.

I miss it, too.

What's cookin', good lookin'?

Did she used to say that to you?

Yeah, and then, make me cinnamon toast.

Oh, her cinnamon toast, so good.

She used to broil it twice,

but I could never get it that good.

I miss it.

I loved playing backgammon with her.

She cheated every single time,

but I could never catch her at it.

I like how she pulled her hair up so high in the front.

Because she thought it made her look taller.

You must really miss grandma.

She was your mom.

When you die,

I'll keep your grave clean.

I promise.

You're the best.

I want it to be quality,

but just not fussy,

not trying too hard, like a lot of these restaurants we have.

Uh, like, if there's a good sauce,

let's not do one dot of it or a drizzle, you know?

Let's have a good amount.

Yeah. I work at one of those

dots and drizzle places right now,

and I can tell you, they throw out a lot of food.

Yeah, well, I worked in catering for years.

We'd waste so much food.

Do a lot of weddings?

Ugh, hundreds.

It's just salmon, chicken, salmon, chicken. Ugh.

Your occasional beef tenderloin.

Exactly.

Yeah. So, we're not gonna do that.

No. Please, no.

What's the vibe here gonna be like?

Oh, I want it to be just welcoming.

You sit alone at the bar, or you bring your family,

you're on a date, you know.

Just a fun, happy home feeling.

I'd totally be on board with that.

Yeah.

You know, I could put together a solid crew.

All right. You're all I've got.

Hey, is this the old...

All right.

...couch?

No, I got a new one.

Oh. It's nice.

The place looks great.

Well, thank you. Yeah.

Come on, girl.

So, what do you want to do?

God, I don't know. We have all night.

What did we used to do?

Take 'shrooms.

Mm. Should we? I totally would.

I'd fuckin' love to.

Oh my God. I know a guy who can get 'em, too.

Ahh. I can't.

No, it's crazy. Why would I suggest that?

Yeah. I was going to make us dark and stormys.

I'm actually working on my ginger beer,

perfecting it for the restaurant.

Uh, is this going to be a thing,

you testing your food out on me?

Because I am in. I'll never decline.

Yeah. These are my plantain chips

that I'm gonna serve.

Mmm.

You know what I would love to do?

Besides, like, eat everything that you make.

Um, as long as it doesn't involve board games...

which are a trigger for me now... I'm down.

Okay. Um, I would just love to just have a long,

uninterrupted conversation.

Mmm. Heaven. Yes.

And not talk about my kids.

Okay, but also, I don't want to talk about men.

Okay.

And not talk about, like, getting older.

Yeah, which is... honestly, it's just living longer.

Why is that something to complain about?

I know. It's basically just not dying.

It's a triumph.

It totally is.

It's so silly. Cheers, girl.

Yeah.

To being elderly.

Wow. Look at this.

Hey!

Hey!

Did you hear that? Am I crazy?

Hey!

Hello?

Hey.

Oh my God. Are you okay?

Thank God you're here.

Here.

Thank you.

The Swiss really know their chocolate. It's good.

Mm-hmm.

I hope I didn't ruin your plans.

Oh, God, we were just wandering around,

chasing chipmunks.

I mean, it wasn't really a plan.

I-I don't know what happened.

I'm usually, you know, pretty competent.

Well, there's a reason there's an expression

"lost in the woods"...

it all just starts to look the same after awhile.

Oh, God, especially at night.

It was just trees, trees and trees.

I couldn't even see the stars because of the trees.

Then again, I don't know the first thing about stars,

so I don't think it would have helped.

Hmm. Your teeth stopped chattering, that's good.

Yeah.

Thank you for the food,

the clothes, the coffee.

You are so prepared.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm always worried about the worst case scenario,

so I pack for ten weeks to do, like, an hour hike.

Well, I mean, I was only going out for two hours,

and I was sure I was on the path to the coast.

It was a beautiful day, so I didn't take any warm clothes,

but last night was so freezing.

I-I-I actually, you know, buried myself in leaves,

just to try to stay warm.

Yeah. God, that sounds terrible.

Yeah. I took my phone, I was going to use my GPS,

but my phone died.

God, I have a phone.

You must have someone you want to call

or people that are worried about you.

No, actually. No.

I didn't... I didn't tell anyone I was leaving,

so if I hadn't seen you, this might have ended up a lot worse.

You would have died, so I guess I saved your life.

Maybe.

- Yeah. - Maybe, yes.

Thank God for you.

Thank God.

Well, you know, me and Trudy were actually

going to do that coastal hike, if you want to go.

It's beautiful.

Gosh, um...

Well, I... I think I should, you know, get back to my car.

Mm. Yeah.

I mean, you can just point me in the right direction.

No, I'll take you down.

Please, I saved your life,

I can't, like, lose you on the way to the parking lot.

I'll show you where it is.

What do you do

when you're not rescuing people with your dog...?

Trudy.

Yeah, with Trudy.

Um, I have a restaurant.

Really?

Well, not yet.

It's opening this summer, so, soon.

Oh, congratulations.

Thank you.

Yeah, that's amazing.

I'm a bit of a foodie, myself.

Yeah?

I guess. Well, I like food.

What's your ideal restaurant?

Actually, you know, my favourite place is totally...

well, I don't know.

I don't think you'd find it very impressive.

It's not... you know, it's not innovative or anything.

Like, quite the opposite.

But you know what? Maybe I'm not a foodie.

I don't know.

But, you know, I don't cook very well,

so I like food that feels homemade.

You know, nothing fancy.

I don't need all that saucings, and dustings and...

Yeah. Well, that's kind of what I want to do.

I don't want, like, photogenic food.

I want, like, basic, honest food that tastes good,

on a plate, that's it.

Well, yeah, sounds great.

So, this is the fastest way back to the parking lot.

Huh. And, uh, what's that way?

No, that's the coastal trail.

Oh.

Well, I-I actually feel, uh... I actually feel a lot better.

Really?

Yeah. Energized.

Yeah, I'll... I don't know. I'll do the coast.

Are you sure?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Lead on.

All right. Let's go.

Come on, girl. Come.

You see any bears last night?

No.

That's a real issue in this area, actually.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

I didn't know. I mean, glad I didn't know last night.

Yep. There's a mama bear and her cubs

and she's just real aggressive.

What was it? About two, three weeks ago, she got a hiker.

Really?

Yeah, she did.

She ate his arm from the elbow down,

like a chicken wing.

And they found him in the morning, he bled out,

she left him for dead, he sitting there,

his eyes are open, just staring at his elbow.

Oh my God. That's... I didn't know bears did that.

I thought they usually, you know, went for the throat.

Yeah, I guess every bear's different, you know?

Every bear's probably different.

Oh, that is... I mean, that's terrifying.

Yeah.

And I also forgot my bear spray.

Oh, you... I mean, you know, I don't have bear spray.

Of course you don't.

Well... well, look,

maybe I should... I should walk in front, you know?

- Just to... just to be safe. - Thank you. Thank you.

Because they usually... I mean, they usually attack...

from the back!

Come on. What are you doing messing with me?

What? You think I don't know bears?

Well, you brought nothing into the wilderness to survive,

so I gave it a gamble.

Also, I did save your life, thus saving your life.

Yeah, true. Whoa! A porcupine!

Do not! Oh...

That is my biggest fear!

I'm so scared one is gonna quill Trudy all over her face,

I'm gonna have to pull it out. Come on.

Come on, Trudy.

Maybe I should get a dog.

Definitely. They're awesome.

They're so glad when you come home

and they get you outside of the house more. I love it.

Yeah, and it's good company.

Yeah, that too.

God, I hate Sunday nights...

my kids leave and it's just me and the Netflix.

Isn't that weird? 'Cause that's something

you probably would have enjoyed before,

but now it's about the absence of someone.

That's what I hate about break-ups,

it's like they ruin your solitude.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what happened when my wife and I split up.

I mean, I don't know, everything just got quiet.

I get that, yeah.

Beautiful here.

It really is.

Thanks for bringing me.

It was my pleasure.

Kind of glad my phone died.

I feel like we should just kiss a little bit.

Okay.

I'd like to do that.

Oh, look at that!

Oh, man, I could never live away from the ocean...

that sound, that smell.

Oh, me neither. It just wouldn't feel right.

Do you sail?

Uh, kite surfer. Well, aspiring kite surfer.

Really? I've never attempted it,

but I'm pretty sure if I did, it would end in disaster.

Well, you should check it out sometime.

Not that I'm going to do that, but where do you go?

Squamish.

Squamish?

I've lived here my whole life,

only Squamish I know is thousands of miles away in BC.

Well, I... you know, I live in Vancouver.

Oh...

Okay, the other ocean.

Yeah. I'm just here for work.

I fly out tomorrow and I'm, you know,

not sure when I'm gonna be back.

Well, you'll be happy to see your kids.

Yeah. It's hard being away from them.

How old are they?

Uh, Matty is eight and Stella's four.

That kind of makes it hard to get out.

Oh, yeah. So, you're, like, on the market, but...

Well, before an hour ago,

I didn't really consider myself on the market.

Hmm. You're market fresh.

In restaurant terms, yes.

This is me.

Really?

It's... it's the only thing they had.

Wow. Well, that's me over there.

Um, I was going to ask you for your number,

so I could put it in my phone, but my phone is dead.

So, I thought I could give you mine.

Have I misread something?

Oh, no. Uh-uh, no. You haven't misread things.

Um, you just live so far.

There are planes.

There are.

You can drive.

Yeah, I could drive across a continent.

It's a full continent.

Podcasts.

It's not even that. It's just that...

I finally kind of got my shit together.

You seem very together.

Thank you.

And I just don't want to mess it up right now.

Like, my life's kind of perfect. Not that you were asking.

And I wouldn't ask you to.

And plus, you deserve

more than just like a long distance booty call.

This is so tragic.

Yeah.

But it's kind of cool.

It's like we had an awesome day,

the perfect relationship... like, we didn't fight,

no one was nagging anyone, we didn't get bored.

No trying to convince you to learn how to ski.

I actually don't mind skiing.

- Oh, you don't. - Uh-uh.

I hate golf. Do you golf?

No. I think it's stupid.

It is. I don't really like peanut butter.

I love it, but Matty's allergic, so it's never in the house.

Okay, okay.

Uh, when I like a song, I do play it on repeat all day long.

That would drive me crazy.

Yeah, you couldn't live with that.

No, I couldn't live with that.

That would be the end of us.

Yeah, so, guess it all worked out.

Yeah.

All right.

There's a lot of people out there already.

Oh, shit.

Isn't that a good thing?

Yeah, it is.

That's a beautiful cake.

Did you make it?

I did, yeah.

Are the flowers real?

Here.

Mmm. Yum.

That's sugar... your favourite.

Guys, ahh, ladies, gentlemen, friends, and foes...

there's some of you I don't like that much,

but you were a plus one.

Um, no. I'm terrible at speeches, clearly.

But I did want to just take one moment

to say thank you for supporting this dream of mine

and for being here tonight

to celebrate with me. Cheers!

Cheers!

Thank you and thank you.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

♪ ...to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Gaby ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

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