All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S02E34.A.Martians.Sonata.in.Mrs.Bs.Flat.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(eerie music)

- Me me me me me.

Me me me me me.

* Do ra me fa si la ti do

* Do ti la si fa me ra do

(symphonic music)

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin look.

I've got my fingers
on D7 see now look.

(strums guitar)

I guess I better
take lessons huh?

(audience laughs)

Well, you little old
martian moonshiner you.

I guess you'll be the first
interplanetary bootlegger huh?

- Tim, I find your allegation
highly imaginative,

but incorrect.

This happens to be a model of

a martian audio
energy converter.

- Oh I thought it was
something complicated.

- You know Tim, energy
can change it's form

just as water can change from
a fluid to solid ice or steam.

- That much I knew.

- The converter simply
changes musical energy

into liquid form.

I was just processing music

I had prerecorded
before you entered.

- Do you mean that that
stuff is music juice?

- Mm hmm, martian musical
distillate to be precise.

Martians apply to the body

and enjoy music as
a total sensation.

- That's a gas.

- One of my most memorable
musical experiences on Mars

was slipping into a hot
tub of Beethoven's 5th.

(audience laughs)

- Well don't be selfish,
come on let me try it.

- Very well, but just a drop.

Because the effects are quite
different on earth people.

(laughs)

- That's funny, I
don't feel a thing.

(strums)

(acoustic guitar music)

That's great, how'd I do it?

- The distillate is too
volatile for your primitive

neuro system, so it ionized.

Thus causing you to play the
music just as it was recorded.

- Well spray on McDuff,
bird land here I come.

- No Tim, if you
want a musical career

you must earn it through effort.

Victory cheaply won
is a hollow crown.

- Oh come on now Uncle Martin,

I can't be washed up that fast.

- You're not washed up Tim,

you're dried out.

(audience laughs)

("My Favorite Martian
Theme" George Greeley)

(instrumental music)

- So now Martin, Mrs.
Brown wants us to,

Uncle Martin?

(instrumental music)

(audience laughs)

(strums guitar)

(acoustic guitar music)

(cracks)
(audience laughs)

Uncle Martin?

I think I plinked when
I should've plunked.

(audience laughs)

Uncle Martin it uh,

it worked great
before, what happened?

- You used too much distillate.

Your musical ability
factor couldn't absorb it.

So the energy backed up
and destroyed your guitar.

Well I hope this teaches
you not to tinker

with unknown devices.

If you'd been playing
the trombone at the time,

you'd have blown us
all through the roof.

(audience laughs)

There, now I can spray
on the right amount.

It's Mrs. Brown.

- Oh I forgot, Mrs.
Brown is playing piano

for her lady's
guild meeting today

and we're supposed to
go down and listen.

- Hm, put this in the
cabinet and tell Mrs. Brown

we're on the way, I better
get this thing our of sight.

You know something?
(knocks)

It does look like a
bootlegger's distill.

- Oh yeah.

(knocks)

- Oh Tim hurry.

Our treasurer is just
giving her report

on foreign aid and knitting

and then I'm going to play
the piano under new business.

Where's your uncle,
isn't he coming?

- Uncle Martin, yes
well sure he is.

- Well I better get him,
you know how men are.

- No Mrs. Brown you
can't, you see he,

well he's hiding something.

He's hiding your birthday
present, that's what it is.

Happy birthday.

- Oh well now how did you know
my birthday was next month?

- Oh I don't know it
was just some kind of

a wild wild guess.

Why don't you just go
back to your meeting

and we'll be right down okay?

- Well alright, but hurry up.

Our chairwoman is Mrs.
Wooster and she hates

to be kept waiting, it
bothers her sinuses.

(audience laughs)

- So Mrs. Wooster's downstairs.

I wonder if that had
anything to do with it.

- To do with what?

- The pain in the neck
I've had all morning.

(audience laughs)

- But they're on the
way Mrs. Wooster,

can't we wait a bit longer?

- That's up to you and
the other girls Lorelei,

I wouldn't dream of rushing
you if it weren't for my head.

It's not important.

- Another sinus headache?

- Migraine.

- Lorelei how can you
be so inconsiderate?

I think we should--
(buzzes)

- Oh they're here, I'll hurry.

- Her tenants, I don't
know what the uncle does,

but Tim O'Hara is with
the newspaper, local news.

- Local news, isn't
that interesting.

- Oh Mrs. Wooster,

I'd like you to meet my friends.

This is Martin O'Hara.

- A pleasure Mrs. Wooster.

Mrs. Brown speaks of you so
glowingly I've come to regard

you as a legend.

- Yes, you needn't
apologize for detaining us.

- Well I didn't intend--

- [Mrs. Wooster] And
you must be Tim O'Hara.

You want details for your
story about our lady's guild.

You are in local
news aren't you?

- Well yes Mrs. Wooster.

- Well I wouldn't
dream of imposing.

I'm not well enough
to press the point.

If you're not
interested I can't.

- Well it's not that
I'm not interested.

- Oh I know you'll do a
marvelous job on the story

you'll write about us.

Ladies, ladies let us begin
our search for musical talents.

- Well she roped me in.

- Mm hmm, Tim you've just
been manipulated by a woman

who gets what she
wants by remembering

that old Venetian adage.

- What's that?

- Speak softly but cry a lot.

(audience laughs)

- Our first contestant
will be Mrs. Brown.

Lorelei, quickly dear.

(plays piano)

- Dear, I guess I need my music.

I left it at Tim's place
when I was dusting.

No no no you just sit still.

I don't want you
to miss a thing.

I'll be right back.

- Well, let's go on.

Our next contestants
will be a musical trio.

Ladies.

(blows note)

* Gentle ladies sing this song

* Do dah do dah

(audience laughs)

* Oh dah dah do dah day

* Oh ride 'til the morn

* Ride 'til the day

* I'll bet my money
on a bob tailed man

(audience laughs)

* Somebody bet on

* Somebody bet on

* Somebody bet on the babe

* Bet on the babe

(claps)

- Oh my birthday present.

Perfume, oh how
thoughtful of the boys.

Well it is different.

- I can't recall ever hearing
anything more original.

(audience laughs)

- And one.

(plays piano)

- Marvelous.

- Uncle Martin she's great.

- You were just as
good earlier today.

- Oh sure, but I
had your jazz juice.

Your jazz juice?

- She must've used
the distillate

when she went to get her music.

Tim, this could be serious.

- What's serious, so she wins
the talent search, that's all.

Now who could that
possibly hurt?

Come on Mrs. Brown!

- Well that's it I guess.

At least, well I
can't play anymore.

- My dear you were marvelous.

Ladies I move that
Lorelei be named winner

of our musical talent
search by unanimous consent.

(claps)

- Oh I'm so excited.

- And furthermore because
of her gifts for piano,

I move that she be made the
soloist at our forthcoming

charity musical.

- Great!

- Stop that, you heard
Mrs. Brown play before she

used the distillate.

- Yeah, she was miserable.

Oh yeah.

She was miserable.

Mrs. Wooster

- Here's your story Mr. O'Hara,
the story of Lorelei Brown.

Unknown and unsung, until
I summoned her forth

to meet her destiny.

- I'm so excited, oh thank
you for discovering me.

- Lorelei don't you think
you're being a bit premature?

A concert isn't--
- Mr. O'Hara,

a star is born.

You may quote me.

- [Lorelei] I'm so excited.

Oh I'm so glad you came down.

I've been so busy
practicing for the musical

that I've just been in a tizzy.

This morning I almost put
starch in the birdbath.

Wouldn't that be awful,

well I'd have a yard
full of stiff robins.

(audience laughs)

- About your concert
debut Lorelei.

- Oh I'm so excited.

- Well we know yes, what
we'd really like to know.

- Oh my brownies
are in the oven,

excuse me I don't
want them to burn.

- Well, what are you gonna do,

you tell me, you're the martian.

- As I see it we can't tell
Lorelei that she can't play,

it would hurt her feelings.

- You're right it wouldn't
be very nice to say,

Mrs. Brown, your music (grunts).

(audience laughs)

- The purpose of the musical
is to raise money for charity,

that's terribly
important to Lorelei.

- Alright so the musical
is for charity so what?

They won't even make two cents
if she sits down and plays,

everyone will ask
for their money back.

- Everything's alright, I
forgot to turn the oven on.

Would you like some nuts?

- Well Lorelei, Tim has
just been commenting

that your musical will give
it's proceeds to charity.

- Yes, all the ticket
money goes to charity.

We better sell an
awful lot of tickets.

Do you think we will?

- Well I don't know Lorelei,

that depends on
your performance.

- Martin, I can't
play that concert.

There aren't that many
people who'd pay to hear me.

We need a major attraction.

- An excellent idea Lorelei,

and I'd like to suggest
one of the worlds

foremost concert pianists.

- Oh well that'd be wonderful,
why we'd set, oh no.

- Are your brownies
burning again?

- No, when I turned the oven
on, I forgot to put them in.

(audience laughs)

- Well I've got
to hand it to you.

Who's this concert pianist
that you're gonna get?

- Professor Ilya Plotnikov.

- Plotnikov?
- Mm hmm.

- The Plotnikov that
I interviewed for
the paper last year?

- Yes, don't you
remember you said

he was one of the
world's greats.

- Yes, was was right.

He won't play
anymore, he's retired.

All he wants to do is teach.

Matter of fact he told
me himself, he said,

no one in this world could
ever get him to play again.

- Perhaps, but remember
Tim, your Uncle Martin

is out of this world.

(audience laughs)

(instrumental music)

- And this must be
your Uncle Martin?

- Martin O'Hara,
maestro Plotnikov.

- Good, good, but first, I
don't play concerts anymore.

Now gentlemen, lets sit down
and talk about something else,

please sit down here Mr.
O'Hara, it's a nice chair.

- Thank you very much
maestro Plotnikov,

but I wish that you
would reconsider

because a performance
by Plotnikov would
be of great value

to his students.

- Mr. O'Hara, my students
don't need to hear me play.

They need me to teach them.

Please Mr. O'Hara sit down
here, this is a good chair.

- Thank you.

- Besides, teaching
is my whole life.

- Ah teaching, an activity
requiring a high degree

of orderly planning and
disciplined preparation.

Just like the concert stage.

- Yes, that's my life, order.

Meticulous concern
for fine details.

Organization in all things.

My life is all order
and discipline.

(instrumental music)

- This can't be our pianist.

I mean, I don't think
in all this mess

he could find his own piano.

- Plotnikov is a genius
by earth standards Tim,

commonplace things
can escape his notice.

But once he's forced
to look around him,

I think he'll want to
play at the musical

and resume his concert career.

- Well force him, force him.

- Now gentlemen, let's
continue our talk.

- With pleasure Professor,
I'm particularly interested

in your fine library.

I don't imagine you'd
let your students use it?

They're very careless.

- Yes, I don't understand
their lack of discipline.

And as you can see my library
is thoroughly organized.

It's disciplined.

My pipe.

(audience laughs)

Where could it have gone?

The piano, I must've
left it over there.

Music papers, manuscripts,

how can you find anything
in such a, such a.

- Would a mess be the word
you're groping for Professor?

- Mr. O'Hara, you have hit
the proverbial point exactly

on the pitch.

No wonder my pupils are a mess.

I'm a mess, this
whole place is a mess.

You're right, I'm afraid I
haven't set too good an example.

- Then why not begin
by being the guest star

of the lady's league musical?

What better way to
get back into harness

than prove disciplined
preparation to your students?

- I like it, I like the idea.

- You know Mr. O'Hara, your
troubles are over, you have me.

- Mr. O'Hara, how could you?

- Well I'm afraid we can't
reveal that, Mrs. Wooster.

You see the important thing
is, we did get Plotnikov.

- And that will certainly
enhance your charity fund,

Mrs. Wooster, that is, if
that is your primary concern.

- Well of course it is.

- Well you can always
discover me another time.

- We don't have another
concert until next year.

- Oh dear another sinus attack.

- No this time it's an idea.

Why can't we have
Plotnikov and you?

My husband is on the
university board,

I'm sure he could make
the Professor understand.

The two of you
could play a duet.

- A duet?

Mrs. Brown and?

- Oh that's a fabulous idea.

Say how about Swan Lake?

- Well that depends, if
you want it for playing,

or drowning.
(audience laughs)

(piano music)

- Hey, that deserves a hand.

- And Mrs. Brown will get this
in the form of hand lotion.

I must prepare it immediately
for the musical tomorrow night

and no matter what Tim,
one of us must make sure

Lorelei uses it.

(instrumental music)

- Now what's a
nice girl like you

doing in a nice place like this?

- Observing, I study composition
with Professor Plotnikov.

- Really, well it paid off,
you've got nice composition.

Now don't go away.

- Oh Tim, oh I'm
glad you're here.

I'm getting nervous
just waiting.

- Why, there's nothing
to worry about,

you still have that hand lotion
that Uncle Martin gave you?

- Oh yes, yes,
he's so thoughtful.

- Well then everything's
just fine, see you.

(instrumental music)

- Strange young man.

- As soon as the concert's
over we'll just go out

for a little dinner, just
the two of us together.

- Come here.

- Now stay here.

Oh will you relax,
everything's cool.

- Too cool Tim, the
theater is air conditioned.

That means it' being
steadily dehumidified.

If the humidity is
lowered anymore,

the musical distillate will
evaporate and Mrs. Brown

will be in trouble.

I'll have to get into the
air conditioning room,

and make sure the
dehumidifier is off.

You just keep an
eye on Mrs. Brown,

and make sure she
uses the lotion.

- Count on me.

- I'm afraid I'm
limited to that.

(audience laughs)

- Now.

(instrumental music)

- It's chilly in here,
my hands are freezing.

- Oh well I've got
something for that.

Martin says Vankiver and
uses it all the time.

- Well if it's good
enough for him,

it's certainly
good enough for me.

- Hey, Mrs. Brown,
your hand lotion.

- Marvelous, it was
absorbed immediately.

Very refreshing.

- Oh now look whatever
you do, don't move.

Stay right there, don't move.

- Uncle Martin, the hand lotion.

- Tim I heard it just
as I materialized.

Why didn't you watch
her more closely.

Nevermind, this is very serious.

Without the lotion
containing distillate,

Mrs. Brown will be disgraced.

- Sorry Mr. Martin I
tried, really I did.

- I'm sure, but more
with the young lady

than with Mrs. Brown.

And to make matters
worse, the distillate

has a reverse effect
on musical geniuses

like maestro Plotnikov.

In fact, there was enough
distillate in that hand lotion

to make him a
musical nincompoop.

- Well do something, do
anything, make some more.

(applause)

It's too late.

She's announced them.

- Tim, I can't let both Mrs.
Brown and maestro Plotnikov

look ridiculous.

Neither one of them would
ever quite recover from it.

(snaps)

(snaps)

I've silenced their pianos Tim.

- But they're about to play.

- They'll think they are.

(piano music)

- I just don't believe it.

- Well Tim, as I once
said to Bill Shakespeare,

when we were collaborators.

Alls well that ends.

(piano music)

- It's coming from Mrs.
Browns house, but how?

I thought she couldn't.

- She must've got her hands on
some of my musical distillate

but I don't know how.

(knocks)

- Well hello boys.

- Hello Mrs. Brown, we
thought we heard sounds

of a piano coming
from your house.

- Oh yes, isn't it
lovely, come on in,

you'll really enjoy it.

- She's not very
modest about it.

- Sit down and listen.

(piano music)

Isn't it just wonderful?

- Isn't what wonderful?

- The player piano silly.

Professor Plotnikov
sent it to me as a gift

for my playing the
concert with him.

(audience laughs)

Now I can accompany myself
while I master the cello.

(audience laughs)

(screeches)

("My Favorite Martian
Theme" George Greeley)