Original subtitles

[explosion bangs]

[donkey brays]

Look, Uncle Martin, next time I have a vacation,

would you mind if we just roughed it in a hotel

with a swimming pool?

Mm-hmm, but right now I need complete

seclusion to repair my ship.

I had no idea it could be so disastrous.

Well, it just looks like rust to me.

Common oxidation could never affect my ship.

It's something much more powerful and diabolical--

namely, smog.

Uh-oh, there's another spot.

Well, what's that, Buck Rogers, your ray gun?

You obviously read too many comic books as a child.

The neutronic eraser is a variation of your Earth's

primitive laser beam.

It disintegrates the spot and the surrounding metal.

[explosion bangs]

Of course my ship can't fly now, but

once those weakened spots are coated with restorium,

it will be good as new.

Restorium?

I never heard of it.

Well, it hasn't been discovered here on Earth.

Fortunately, there's a deposit nearby.

A wonderful metallic ore, Tim.

Restorium re-plates spaceships, restores

fragibands to their original state,

repairs zygolots, and is a cure for the common glockle.

I don't know how we ever managed to live without it.

Now, first I must check for smog atoms.

Smog?

Here?

Some places are hundreds of miles from nowhere.

This is hundreds of miles from everywhere.

Well, centuries ago, we on Mars

discovered there's nothing more far-reaching

than creeping smogism.

Now, I'm going to circle the area to make

sure that there's none present.

Will you, uh, put my suit away and unpack Emily for me?

Hmm?

Oh, sure.

Happy hunting!

Restorium, glockles-- Isn't he smart, Emily?

You know, I wonder what it feels like to be a Martian?

[explosion bangs]

[suspenseful music]

I got you covered!

Put up your hands, you Martian!

[beeping]

[beeping]

[theme music]

I said put up your hands!

All right, all right.

Look, you're making some kind of a mistake.

Put down that ray gun!

Whatever you say.

Get back!

Now, get back there!

Don't you come near us or I'll shoot!

Is he really a Martian?

Did you say a Martian?

Oh, no, no.

No, I'm an actor.

You're a Martian, all right.

Now, get back there.

Get back!

Hands up!

Here, Pop.

Oh, quiet, Gerald!

Can't you see--

Give me-- give me that.

You don't know how to handle a thing like this.

[explosion bangs]

That was a fiendish thing for you to do.

Me?

I'm standing right here.

Gee, wait till I tell the kids back

home we captured a Martian!

Just think, he's traveled millions of miles

through space.

But I tell you, I am not a, uh--

Martin!

[suspenseful music]

Up, up, up!

Don't you try any of your sneaky Martian tricks.

Martians aren't sneaky.

How would you know that u-- unless you're a Martian?

He doesn't mean to harm us, Dad, I--

I just feel it.

Sally, you just let your old dad handle this.

You're only a child.

Hey, Pop?

And you too, Gerald.

But there's somebody's coming.

Maybe it's more Martians.

All right there, Emily, now you come on with me

and stop pulling back like that.

I'm going to find you some water if it takes me

all day to walk all through this desert.

I'll find that water for--

Well, howdy!

Howdy, I'm Death Valley Marty.

Well, hi.

Am I glad to see you.

I'm Daniel Farrow, and this is my daughter Sally, and--

Oop!

And that's a Martian!

You mean that there weirdy-looking fella there

with the crazy long johns?

Well, do tell.

Don't get too close to him.

He might be radioactive.

Whoa.

Well-- well, I can check and see if he's radioactive.

I got me a Geiger counter here.

Use it for prospecting.

You go right ahead.

I'll keep him covered.

Sally, do something!

Dad, you should have let us carry some of this.

Now, you children are too young.

When you learn how to take care of things--

Gerald, stop pulling on that!

I'm afraid convincing them that you're not

a Martian is becoming increasingly difficult.

And we gotta fix my spaceship before we can get out of here.

I hope we can get rid of these people.

I'll buy that.

And I hope they will.

Hmm.

Well, he's not radioactive, though I reckon

he is a Martian, all right.

I've never seen one out this way in the desert.

We better get the police.

Uh-- are you sure that's necessary?

Seems like a harmless sort of little feller to me.

Oh, I am.

Why, I'm a friendly Martian.

No, no, now, that's the thing to do.

The only question is, who should go?

Let's see, I could stay here and guard him while you go,

but then on the other hand, I might make better time,

and you stay.

I'll go.

Why, yes, that would solve--

Oh, you are tricky.

You better go, old-timer.

Eh, well, uh--

well, all right, eh, if that's what you want.

DANIEL FARROW: What's the matter?

Oh, uh, well, it's the desert wobblies.

It comes on you sudden-like sometimes,

but don't you worry your head about it.

I'm used to the agony.

Well, I can't let you go like that.

But you keep your eye on him.

Taking the humans with you, ain't you?

No, no, they're tired.

They've come a long ways today.

I can make better time by myself.

Here, you might need this.

Well Well, uh, uh--

like you said, he-- he's a pretty tricky feller.

I've already thought of that.

I got a rope right here.

You see, children, when you come on these camping trips,

you learn to cope with any situation.

That's the advantage of coming prepared.

Where is that rope?

Here, Pop.

Oh.

Daddy, he's the first man from outer space

to ever land on Earth.

Well, you shouldn't do that!

Oh, she's right, you know.

I mean, you wouldn't.

You couldn't! Huh?

Pardon me. Huh?

Oh.

You shouldn't.

Keep him covered, now.

Say, it weren't the desert wobblies after all.

It were a pebble in my boot.

Would you believe it?

Why not?

That being the case, I reckon I better

do myself a little scouting, see if there's

any more of these here Martian fellas hanging around.

You go with Sally and hitch up my burro good and tight,

will you, sonny? - Yes, sir.

This is my chance to get the restorium before Daniel

comes back with the gendarmes.

Don't go away.

[whirring]

[suspenseful music]

Will you shut up?

[dreamy music]

This is a day I'll always remember.

Yeah.

I'm not likely to forget it myself.

When I first saw you--

standing there in shining armor like Sir Lancelot.

"Poetry Past and Present"?

Isn't that sort of an odd book for a girl who likes camping?

Oh, I just come along to please Daddy.

He's had to raise us all by himself--

well, he likes us to stay together.

Got a favorite?

Mm-hmm.

What?

"How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways."

"I love thee to the depth and breadth

and height my soul will reach."

My very favorite poem and you know it.

But how does a Martian know it?

I saw the movie.

Hi.

Isn't Death Valley Marty back yet?

Gerald, you should hear about some of the things on Mars.

Drag racing?

No, not exactly.

You see, on Mars we can levitate things with our fingers,

so we have finger races.

I'm known as the fastest finger on West Mars.

Oh.

Your poor hands.

Yeah.

You shouldn't do that.

I don't care what Daddy says, this is wrong.

Thank you.

Hey, now you can show me how you levitate.

Now you can get away.

Oh, well, I--

I can't-- I mean, I can.

You can't levitate?

You can't run?

No, I can't answer both of your questions

at the same time.

Hey, there. I'm back.

- Hi. - He's loose!

Sally, Gerald, get away from him!

But, Pa!

And you stay right where you are.

How'd he get loose anyhow?

SALLY FARROW: Well, to tell you the truth, Dad, I--

TIM: I levitated myself.

DANIEL FARROW: Levitated? What's that mean?

GERALD FARROW: Hey, Dad, he's the fastest

finger on West Mars.

I don't know what you're talking about, Gerald,

but I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Martian.

You b--

Well, you got back quicker than I expected.

Yeah, well, there's an emergency phone

right at the edge of the national park.

The police will be here any minute.

Well, I'll go watch for them.

Gerald, come back here!

Oh, I have to keep an eye on that boy every minute.

Sally, go get him.

Now who's keeping an eye on her?

Here, you keep him company.

Sally!

Gerald!

Tim, I've got the restorium, but it's going to have

to be a fast repair job.

But as long as the spaceship is all right, we're all right.

Hey, Dad!

Look, I found the Martian's spaceship!

Let's take 'em all off, Gerald.

I want to get the total picture.

Daddy?

Please untie him.

He's used to being free among the stars.

Well, then what's he doing here?

Yep, it's a spaceship all right.

You know, the closest I ever got to the stars was Hollywood.

Well, let's face it, Tim, you're

no knight in shining armor.

You shouldn't have led that girl on.

You've got to let her down easy.

Daddy, all you have to do is look in his eyes.

I know we can trust him.

Sally, listen to your father.

Children should be heard and not seen.

Er-- seen and not--

Anyway, be quiet and let me figure this thing out.

We've got to find out what's inside of here.

Maybe we can break in, Dad?

Uncle Martin, he is going to peel your ship like a grape.

Well, I can't get a grape in orbit.

I've got to get in and get my electromagnetic welder.

It's the only way I can apply the restorium.

Well, you find anything?

No, I'm still trying to get inside of it.

Oh.

Oh!

Well, what do you know?

I must have touched something.

Look at that.

Opened like magic.

Well, I wonder what's down in there?

You see anything, old-timer?

No, no, just a panel with a lot of lights on it,

that's all.

Hey, you see anything dangerous?

I mean, you see weapons?

Weapons?

No.

No, no weapons, but then what would I know?

Well, I'm going to take a look in there.

How'd that happen?

I don't know.

There's got to be a button.

Everything has a button.

We must act fast before the police arrive.

Tim, you'll have to fly my spaceship back home.

Me?

You're kidding.

I wish I were.

But these people must see you return to Mars.

Now, there's no danger.

I'll act as your ground control and direct you via MTA,

Mental Telepathy Audio.

Frankly, Uncle Martin, I am mild

about the wild blue yonder.

But there's gotta be a button!

It's necessary, Tim, but first we must distract them.

You'll have to become their version of a Martian--

the comic book type.

Well, I'd like to, but I'm a little tied up at the moment.

A minor detail.

Take me to your Earth people.

By Jiminy, the Martian's loose!

The Martian's loose!

How does he do that?

Put 'em up, you!

My gun!

Hey!

It is time that you knew the truth.

I am a special agent for the intergalactic council

subcommittee on inferior planets.

It is my task to determine the present stage of development

on this planet that you call Earth.

What's that?

You think you're better than we are?

We of the other planets have powers

far beyond your comprehension.

Observe.

Once where there was arid sand, there

shall appear luxuriant foliage.

Grass.

And now, the lilies of the field, which

sow not, nor do they reap.

Not to mention roses.

And to complete this magnificent spectacle,

the fruit of the vine.

Oranges.

Of course, I could have done it all with my little finger.

Well, I reckon it's about time for you to get back to Mars,

ain't it? - Yes, I-- I must go.

But I'm afraid I shall have to report that you Earth

people are not developed sufficiently

enough to belong to the UG--

that's United Galaxies-- so farewell.

Don't go.

Sally, what are you saying?

Daddy, you don't understand.

I'm not a child anymore.

You're the only one who doesn't treat me that way.

Please don't go.

Sally, you're a nice girl, but I didn't--

I didn't mean--

I could not want a finer companion

while I do walk this earthbound pace,

but duties, deeds, diversions decree

I must another high road race.

[suspenseful music]

Now what do I do?

MARTIN (VOICEOVER): Push button 6M and standby for

instructions.

You sure this will work?

MARTIN (VOICEOVER): I realize it's

like allowing a five-year-old to pilot the X-15,

but I have no choice.

Push that button.

[beeping]

[whooshing]

Hey, neat!

Yeah, the police will never be able to catch him up there.

No, they won't.

We'll call the air force.

But, Pop, they'll shoot him down.

Well, we can't let him go.

He's a menace to all of us.

He can do anything he wants with those powers he's got.

All he's got to do is point that finger of his, and it's pow,

goodbye Charlie!

He didn't, though.

Huh?

He didn't pow.

Why, he was showing us how to grow grass on this here desert.

That don't seem so terrible.

And the roses, what's wrong about them?

How come you want to shoot him, Pop?

He didn't do anything to us.

Well, he-- he--

Seems to me you're the dangerous one,

always wanting to shoot.

Me?

You kept pointing that gun at him, you--

you tied him up, and now you went the air

force to shoot him down.

Well, but I--

but he-- but--

Hello.

I got a call from the state police.

Are you the people who reported seeing a Martian?

Martian?

What Martian?

I didn't see no Martian.

Well, I-- uh--

he-- Oh, who'd report a silly thing like that?

Probably just someone's idea of a joke.

Were you people camping up in the national park?

Yes.

And it's late.

We better go.

Let me show you the way.

Careful.

Can I carry this, Dad?

No, you're too young, Gerald.

When you know how to take care of--

Why, yeah, sure, Gerald, of course, if you think you can.

Sure.

Kids have got to learn to think for themselves

I always say.

You know, Mr. Farrow, maybe Earth will get into that United

Galaxies outfit yet.

Can you handle that all right, son?

Sure, Pop, nothing to it.

Good.

My boy's growing up, huh?

Yeah, getting strong too.

You all set, son?

- Yeah. - All right.

Let's go, son. Goodbye, Marty.

Yeah.

Bye, Marty.

You see, Emily?

People don't need to be stubborn as mules.

No offense meant.

Tim is not--

Great Saturn's rings!

Tim!

Don't panic, Tim, I'll get you down.

Tim!

Tim!

Tim!

Don't worry, Tim, I'll tell you what to do.

Well, if it involves anything more than screaming for help,

we're in big trouble.

You will note a lever directly in front of you.

Push it forward slowly.

I said slowly.

Now reverse it.

Hey-- hey, I did it.

Of course.

Now try it again and slowly.

Ah.

Well, Uncle Martin, look.

Don't you worry about a thing because I guess

there are just some of us who can fly a crate

by the seat of our pants.

You obviously need more sensitive pants.

Now pay attention.

You're directly above our driveway.

All you have to do is flip the red switch

and you will descend automatically.

Tim?

What happened?

Well, let's face it, Uncle Martin, this just isn't my day.

[theme music]