Original subtitles

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This is your captain speaking

Flight time to Nice will be seven hours thirty minutes

Our flight attendants will be coming by To provide you with complimentary beverages.

Excuse me

Hello? Excuse me

Hey there!

Mom!

Do you mind?

Emergency exit's 13D sweetie.

Great, got it, thanks Dad

Excuse me Bonjour

Three chardonnay's please -No, nothing for me.

I always remain alert in flight. -Me neither thank you

Just the three then.

I am so proud of you sweetie. A lot of women who just got dumped

Would have backed out of this vacation but not you -Thanks Dad, but I didn't get dumped

It wasn't quite like that it... -it was mutual

Yes, they agreed to part ways

When he dumped her

I thought it was because he needed space? -No he just didn't find her spontaneous enough

Too safe?

Predictable.

I am sitting right here. -I can hear you

He tried to get you to go

Bungie jump but you wouldn't do it

I have a thing about heights and a rule about vomiting in public. I think that's perfectly reasonable

Too many rules dear.

There's nothing wrong with being cautious sweetie, -Safety is sexy

The first time your mother and I made love we managed to keep our seatbelts on the entire time. It wasn't easy

OK Dad!

What did I just say About vomiting in public?

Change seats

And the emergency exit is...? -13D trust me, I know where it is.

About to throw myself out of it.

I've got a visual on him now

Target confirmed

I know the drill

trois minute

You have until five pm to deliver the package

-Then the boss wants you to close the account

Yeah, yeah, I will have his final bill ready to go

You have my wife and I on the second floor - And my daughter on the third

When I specifically booked adjacent rooms.

I assure you your room is lovely Mr....

Lovely and adjacent are not the same thing

She's a single woman Always alone

Recently single. - I am not always alone.

Dad, the room is fine can you just...

Do you know how many push in robberies happen in hotels sweetie

Third floor. -We'd like an ocean view.

Always the same things with the rooms.

Let Daddy do his thing.

The little Frenchman will cave

He's a weasel face like "you know who"

Richard, I'm talking about Richard.

I know Mother.

We're not discussing him anymore - Remember?

Right, right

He's dead to us. - Yes!

So it never bothered you that he had kind of a womanly butt?

What?

No he did not!

Forget I said anything

- I do not speak French

Excuse me. - we have resolved the problem

I'm gonna go check on my room

You and Dad figure this out.

You want a Maalox for the road?

Wouldn't it be easier just to humour me?

"bonjour" - "bonjour"

Descente?

I don't speak French.

Yeah, no I got it the first time

Why were you pretending back there?

I don't know? Why did you follow me?

I was already going to the beach - Remember?

Yeah, well I could be going swimming too

Are you?

No.

I'm just going to go marinate - in shame

I'm Spencer, by the way

It's nice to meet you Spencer.

Do you have a name?

Jen, Jennifer, sometimes Jenny no its...

Jen. It's just Jen

I'm gonna go uh... swimming. Before it gets dark.

Yes, of course.

Muscles like that take some upkeep.

Do you wanna get a drink with me tonight?

Yeah, yeah sure. I don't have anything better to do. So why not?

Great.

I'll see you at "Stella Maurice" at sunset.

Oh no... No cute dress?

I didn't pack a single cute dress?

Oh God

I don't think I have all my socks - Gotta find a dress

Thanks

We knocked on your door several times. I can't believe you're missing this

I know Dad, I'm sorry. It's just...

You know, my stomach. It's going crazy.

We'll come back right away With saltines and ginger ale.

No! Stay put I'm fine.

Don't be a hero sweetie

Dad trust me, you don't want to be a part of this

Uh... wait

Darling?

At least you'll look thin on the beach.

Are you sure you're going to be all right?

Yes! You and Mom go.

Have fun without me.

You're going to find the perfect guy. Someone who's good and decent and kind.

Who doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body.

Oh God!

You picked a perfect table

I had to atone for being late - ooh. Too bad I hate champagne

Really? I'm sorry please no... - I was joking...

It was a joke That was a joke.

I am a dating robot Sent here to observe your ways.

You just pulled a robot voice.

All right, don't worry. There's a certain segment of the population that goes over big for that sort of thing.

Yeah... Nerds

They're my bread and butter

Yeah? How's that working out for you?

Oh God! Oh Shit!

How about you?

I don't know

Are you all right?

Hi!

Are you on the lamb?

You see that guy over by the menus? Freakishly tall, excellent mustache.

Ok -No, I do need to sit down somewhere

That is a gorgeous mustache

Well he umm... He's a Russian diplomat

Also kind of a pervert

Sat next to him on the plane... Got a little grabby.

Really? wait, wait, wait... Women don't like grabby?

I'm gonna have to change my whole M.O.

I also heard him in the hotel trying to get the room next to mine. It was just kind of weird.

I hope you switched rooms

Oh no, no I like to live on the edge.

Dangerous weirdoes, Spicy food... - Bungie jumping

I can see dangerous weirdoes and spicy foods but...

Bungie jumping? I'm mean it's almost never sexy To puke in public.

That's what I said.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean it's really nice down here and all but...

My bet is that they're gone so...

Shall we?

Sure. OK

So...

Should we order?

You know what? Let's get out of here.

The service is awful and... I need to show you Nice.

You realize I'm gonna make you tell me Your whole life story.

Trust me. It's boring.

Do you want some of mine?

Oh no! Actually I really don't drink that much... I should just...

Slow down.

What do you do?

Me?

Consulting... I'm a consultant... For a company

Company consultant

We've been doing a lot of downsizing I travel a lot so...

Downsizing People

Oh.

Well if you could do anything... You know...

Anything in the world What would you do?

I just think it would be nice to put down some roots. You know

I've actually always wanted to know my neighbors I've never had that before

That's actually pretty beautiful

You're pretty beautiful

It's the dress I...

It's not the dress

You'd be beautiful without the dress.

Not that I'm visualizing you naked Although...

I'm sure you would look beautiful... I'm saying that... you would be... beautiful.. clothed...

Differently as well

Yeah, Thank you I do need another.

Why don't I get you another. Don't leave - I won't.

Stay put! hmmph.

Okay fine. I will dance with you.

I'm sorry. What?

You almost ripped out of your dress. To try to seduce me.

It worked!

No I was... - Okay maybe just for a minute

Wow! you are... A very enthusiastic dancer

Oh, oh this... Oh God! - Ahh...

This is very nice But I should really get back

To my date

Now, I blow your mind Don't move.

Oh now you're gonna blow my mind Oh God, Okay

Excuse me I'm going to cut in here

Back off! Yankee

Go find your own prostitute.

Oh no. No you're misunderstanding.

I'm sorry, I am not a prostitute...

Does this dress say prostitute? - No.

It's not really, It's just its its maybe

Wait... Just Jen

Yes?

Just Jen Yes?

There's something that I've been Wanting to do all night.

Your tag was still on.

Oh no! -Sorry

No, no no no -It's Okay

It's Okay

No. Its... I can't afford this dress.

I left the tag on because I can't afford it.

Not unless my Father buys it for me Which he wouldn't because.. He's not here.

It's Okay

It's fine Are you Okay?

No, I can't believe this - So tight!

I'm sorry, I can not keep this up. I am not this girl.

I am not spontaneous

I never drink this much

And I don't live on the edge I live a very quiet, normal life

I would like a normal life I'd kill for a normal life.

Well just it.. it gets It gets worse

Just, you know that guy...

At the restaurant With the mustache.

The restaurant pervert.

That's my Dad

Wow -Yeah

Sounds like a really bad Home situation.

No, no! Oh God! No

He's not Russian Or a pervert

He's a pilot.

He flies planes. I...I came on Vacation with my parents

That�s... How lame I am

I was supposed to come here with my geek boyfriend. But he dumped me for this girl and then....

Sorry. Go ahead.

I can't breathe

This dress is really, really tight.

I need to get out of it Seriously

I've been sucking it in all night. Can you just. You gotta get it off. Just take it off

Really?

Okay all right.

The zipper's stuck

Just break it its fine. My father will pay for it. yeah, break it

Here just... Turn around

Stay still... Don't Hold still.

I... Uh

Thanks

I'll be. I'm gonna be over here.

Doing this... In this manner

Thank you For...

Being so honest.

I actually feel like I should share something with you.

It's gonna be really hard to say

But...

I feel like. You're real. So...

I want to be real with you.

Haven't really told anyone this before but...

I kill people.

Wow. You're taking this a lot better than I expected

Awesome.

Usually it's bad people It's not like I'm out killing good guys

I'm not a murderer.

I'm a professional. I professionally...

Kill people

You're a great listener

Excellent Listener

I don't like what I do I'm not a fan of it

But I like you

Tomorrow, I'm going to show you Nice

And hopefully... That's just the beginning

Cause I like you.

You should take a bite

Go ahead and try it I'm not going to eat it all

Good lord! French food...

I'm going to uh... Just going to go to the restroom

It's a crush Spence It happens

Go shoot some guns And screw some models

You'll be good as new

Then what? Kill some more people

They're enemies of the state. Not people

Are you sure about that?

Cause five years ago Levedeaux worked for us

And then the NSA and god knows who else. But this week he's the enemy

What the hell's wrong with you?

You go and screw Polly Anna for a week And suddenly your life's work's out the window?

She's normal

And I feel normal when I'm with her. And maybe I...

Wake up! Her world only exists because of people like us.

And I'm sorry if people change sides

Sometimes a friend becomes an enemy And you have to take them out.

She trusts me.

And I'm not willing to compromise that.

These jobs are not optional Spencer.

You don't get to just walk away

Watch me.

You are who you are Spencer! You can't change that

I think the best part is you're finally with someone Who's genuinely attractive

I know

I know

I keep thinking I'm going to build up some kind of tolerance to his..

Physical, Godlike Perfection

Which just hasn�t happened yet

I'm Okay

It's a little early Mom.

Ha ha! Early...

Do you think they're all right up there?

Oh, as long as Daddy doesn't shoot him We're good

So I hear you're jobless.

Corporate consul ting�s a tough business sir.

Jen and I were talking about putting some roots down. I might open up my own firm here.

Look at my shoes

They�re Edward Greene. I picked them up 20 years ago When I was still flying the London route

If you have something of great quality

And you take good care of it. You'll have it forever.

I know you're worried about Jen.

Why would I worry?

I am confident

That you'll never hurt her.

That's a nice shot.

Thank you I was an Eagle Scout

They really let you shoot stuff In the Boy Scouts?

So do the Marines

Semper Fi

That was yours.

I'm sorry I... You would have learned that in the Boy Scouts

I was in 4H

You know, Jen's not some fragile China doll.

She's funny, and she's sweet. And she's smart

But in this kind of an off kilter kind of way where one minute she could be talking about the strategic value of Nice in WWII

And the next she's telling me that Carey Grant dropped acid.

Which I... My point is...

It doesn't matter what she says

I can trust her.

I depend on her

Sir. It's not the other way around

So...

With your blessing

I'm going to marry her.

Welcome to the family Spencer.

Thank you Mr. Cornfield Please...Call me sir

How big is it?

Oh, it's big. It's probably the biggest on the block

Well have I ever seen anything like it before?

Uhh... Maybe in a magazine Or in your dreams.

Will I know what to do with it?

I'll help you navigate the tricky parts

Creedy, creedy

It's this blindfold that's making me Owww! Honey

Prepare

To be...

Thrilled

Oh my God

Spence

You remodeled my office.

It's so organized

Okay You can kiss me now

How did I get so lucky?

How did I get a guy like you?

It was easy

It was your charm

And you wit

You really shouldn't be spoiling me especially since... It's your birthday weekend

No we talked about this We're not going to make a big deal out of it this year

No presents No parties

It's just dinner tomorrow night with my parents I promise. But I never agreed to no presents

Come on! I have been keeping this secret For a week

I'm at my limit

You kill me

Open it it's tickets to Nice

I thought we could go back to where it began you know? And the best part is we can go anytime

But because I rule I got two weeks off at the end of the month

Do you no want to go to Nice?

Of course I do

Things are hectic at work right now and... We have a lot going on here.

Plus the peach parade is at the end of the month and You were going to make your cobbler

My cobbler sucks

You know what made Nice great?

You

I have everything that I need Right here

Hey batter batter batter batter Hey batter batter batter

Let's go! Pick up the pace.

Spencer!

Hi!

Lily and Mac

Hey! I'm glad we caught you

Block Party

And you guys can dress up

Perfect

You know what? Here's another one

yeah We're going to have those wings

Great - Don't clone me.

Okay we're going to go make love You have fun

Okay take care

Block party Block Party!

Our new Norton internet security suite has sonar behaviour based protection that defends against any unknown online threats

Be sure to flag that feature for undecided clients

Okay People

We're rolling this out immediately So uh...

Let's hop to it hmm?

Uh.. Jen.

Polished and concise as always -Thank you

Don't change a word When you go to San Francisco.

You want me to speak at the conference?

No, I want you to dominate it.

Okay

You fly out tomorrow

Oh, Mr. Newpar, Tomorrow's umm...

It's such short notice.

There's no one else you can send?

The conference isn't until Monday just...

Take the weekend to prep. You'll be fine

Okay

Of course I didn't say that it was Spencer�s birthday

Because it is extremely unprofessional to turn down a Business trip to baby-sit your husband.

Birthday or not. And...

That's why I didn't mention it

Can you take him out tonight or not?

Hello?

Dad?

If I have to

Love you sweetie.

I love you too. Bye

No no. It's too low.

Can you lift the back one up an inch? Right, No

Right, right there. Perfect

Can you come in tomorrow? I'm sorry. Mildred's having trouble with the billing again.

Saturday, Mildred and bills A trifecta

I'm sorry. Thank you

What do you think about this thing?

Well, Henry says it's a statement piece

Yeah but is it stating that we like Ugly shit hanging from our ceiling?

Yep

Yep, What?

Yes you turned our conference room into Bambi's nightmare

Yeah I know

Hey! Listen, do me a favor. Grab some flooring Samples for Olivia all right?

Something durable that cleans up easy

In case we decide to have sex on the floor. - Of course

You're worried she'll vomit?

I like her even more when she's mean to me.

You're going to be a law suit

Probably

She gets aggravated though you know When I flirt with other women. That's what it is.

You do realize that only happens in pornos

Yeah! The good pornos

I'm gonna give her a shot.

Soon as I'm done letting Olivia Do dirty things to me.

That's going to take a while. Olivia's a bigger slut than you are.

Hey! Are we going to pretend to play Basketball tonight? Or what?

No can do. I've got dinner with Jen

Ahhh! I think I just saw your balls roll by

Yeah? You wanna go catch them for me?

Just crushed it.

Just crushed one of your balls right there.

We'll see.

Call me "ball crusher" from now on

So! how'd it go?

Too good. Newpar is sending me To San Francisco

No, no. Not the presentation. Spencer's gift?

What did he say about the trip?

He wants to stay home and eat cobbler

No vacation No French getaway?

No

Who in their right mind? Turns down a vacation like that?

Well you know Spence He's kind of a home body

Okay, Okay...Okay

How long have you two been married? What like three years?

Yeah

Okay That's your problem

I have a problem?

Everyone always talks about the seven year itch

But no one mentions The three year snooze

People get complacent

Get relaxed But you have to be vigilant

Okay otherwise your growing out your leg hair. Your growing Out your "down there" hair you're wearing your fat jeans.

and a pair of Spanx Okay?

And the next thing you know. he runs off With a reality TV star named Shawnda Okay?

And that's my personal experience. But I'm telling you

You better watch out. Because Shawnda speaks six languages

And one of those languages

Is sex. - Are you going to eat that?

Getting hungz... Super hungz over here.

Peach Plaza Motel

Ah yes. I�m trying to reach a guest named...

Yes uh...

Yes the guest named Annabell Hensler.

Just a moment

Well it took you long enough. We need to meet That's not going to happen Annabell

I get that you love being this soft, suburban zombie

But like I told you 3 years ago in Nice. You can't just walk away from this game.

I've got a job for you kiddo

I'm out. You're going to have to find somebody Else to clean up your mess

My Mess! If you don't do this job. It'll be your mess.

I'm in room 1-1-4

I'll be waiting for you

Just do what I'm telling you

Hey!

Did you just hang up on someone?

No

Jenn's tied up at work so I'm supposed to do something nice For your birthday so. Here I am

I'm going to feed you.

Oh boy. That's great

Really. I can just grab something real simple

Are you saying you would rather eat alone?

No

Of course not I... Let's break some bread.

Who's "h"?

My old boss.

Just asked me if I want my old job back

He sent you hugs and kisses

Yup

It's a French thing

You know always kissing... Fruits

I can't take you to dinner dressed like a Street urchin so...

We'll stop by your house and Pick up adult apparel

I'll leave my car here

I will meet you out front.

What's with you?

You're like a chained recess monkey at the wheel

Just excited about the two of us grabbing dinner

You and Mrs. K. still thinking about Going on that cruise?

Yes

Where are you going to go?

I really think that's up to the captain Spencer.

What's with you kids?

Jen shouldn't be coming home to a dark house. It's not safe

I couldn't agree with you more sir.

Did I leave my keys in the truck?

I am not telepathic Spencer

Maybe I'll just...

This is not Candyland Unlocked trucks get stolen

Which is why careful men Use the garage

Thank you sir.

Surprise!!!

I told you I wouldn't throw you a party...

On my birthday Right. Very cute

Not what you were expecting right?

No

Okay

All right

I'm going to run upstairs and Change really quick

Okay we'll be down here waiting when you come back.

Surprise!!!

Good job Daddy

Good evening Peach Plaza Motel -Yes can you connect me with Annabell Hensler please.

One moment

No answer sir. Would you like to leave a message

No

No. No message

Well I got a lot going on and that so

I don't know if I'm going to make it... < We should hang out more >

We should

I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick

Yeah, yeah I'll join you

Mama!

Oh sweetheart!

Oh dear

I was just telling Jen how you were going to come over Tomorrow. We can't let you spend your birthday alone.

I've got the block party

We could come with you

Yeah

Perfect

Great

I'm coming you lush!

Oh, Henry might be staying the night < Uh huh >

I'm telling you smoke on the water This chick was electrified

Pow! Snap! Pop! Whooo!!

Ha ha ha ha < Okay >

I need to get a fill up < Uh huh >

You got something there you think I might like?

I'll see you guys in a minute

Or something you might like It's your party

You get to have whatever you want

Uhh... Wine?

Having Fun?

I'm uhh...

I'll go open it I'll be here with a birthday kiss when you get back

I just hope that it was a good surprise you know? He seems kind of distracted

He wasn't expecting a house full of people Cut him some slack

Maybe Kristen is right about the 3 year thing. You would Tell me right? You wouldn't sugar coat it

Cause with things like that. It's just better to know

I mean, my legs aren't hairy but, I have been in my Fat jeans for the last two weeks which..

May be why he would rather stay home and make cobbler Than go on vacation with me. Oh my God

I really am freaking out.

You got her all freaked out at lunch

Are you still having sex with Spencer? Yes or No?

Yeah all the time

Then your marriage is fine

Guys can we please play charades now? Come on.

Are you sure you're all right?

Yeah yeah, I'm Okay

Watch the steps!

Walk home! He really shouldn't be driving

No no babe. I got it

No honey no. I got it

I'll put the house to bed

You've got to start packing

Babe, It's your birthday < I got it >

Are you sure? < yeah >

< Okay just do the bare minimum> I'll get the rest in the morning

I love you

Thank you I love you

Where are your pants?

Is something wrong?

No, of course not.

Are you sure?

I mean. Is everything okay between us?

You're kidding, Right?

Come here. Come here This the spot?

Maybe I could skip the Cornfield packing method Just this once

Your flights early You should keep packing

I should have just told Newpar I'd go tomorrow I feel terrible missing your birthday

No worries. I've got another one next year

Well hold on

You need your birthday kiss

We don't want the neighbors to get jealous

Throwing a little porno in the driveway

Don't want you to be late

For the airport

Miss your flight

There we go!

Hey Jen!

Jen!

Hey! Jen < Hey Jackie >

You're up early for a party animal.

Oh yeah. I'm just runnning out to the airport

My Doggie says its a good thing that we're such sound sleepers because you know a lot of other people might have

An issue with all that noise.

Any who. Doggy wants to talk to Spence about this whole fence on the property line bruhauhau we're having.

We don't want to bring lawyers into it Any more than you do right?

But, we're quite sure our new fence is not on your land

You know, you understand Understand you're gonna have to take it up with Spence right?

Okay?

Thanks Jackie, I'm sorry I'm in a big rush. See you soon

Okay, you're late.

Hey, Did you guys have fun last night?

Oh yeah, it was great

Of course, I'm paying for it this morning

You're still taking Spence out tonight though right?

Yes, for the hundredth time

Good

Okay did Daddy promise to be nice to him?

Hmmm... Not in so many words.

Just get yourself on the plane. Let us take care of Spence, Okay?

Okay, well I'll call you When I get to San Francisco

Love you

Love you too dear Bye

Mmmmm

What was that? You or me?

That's me

That's you

You got any milk?

Yeah.

Everything all right?

Yeah

What do I got? I've got some skim milk and... I've got some low fat yogurt

You know what you can do? You can mix the two together

What the hell are you doing man?

You should have seen your face

You almost crapped your pants

Yeah, It's really funny....

What are you doing?

Killing you buddy

Where are you going Spence? Huh?

You got a gun upstairs or something?

Surprise! I'm back

Spence?

What are you doing!?

Spencer! Stop it!

Stop! You're hurting him.

I need you to give me something

Stop it. Upstairs, in the bedside table...

There's a Glock .45 < A Glock?! >

A gun! Just go get it!

Why do you have a gun?! < Just get it! >

I'm coming, I'm coming...

I kind of need you to hurry < Okay, Okay, I'm here >

Your job right now. I need you to point the gun at him... And shoot him in the face.

What?! It's a psychotic...

Okay

Oww!! Bitch shot me

What are you crazy?!

You told me to shoot him in the face

I didn't think you were really going to shoot. I was telling you to divert his...

Well then you should have waved or Crossed your fingers or something.

I was a little busy Trying not to die

Oh God, I shot him It's all right he's just knocked out, he's not dead.

It's Okay. I need you to go to the basement

And get the duct tape

There's duct tape downstairs Go downstairs and get the duct tape.

I can't move < Come on babe >

I can't move!

It's okay

It's okay

It's okay, he's going to be okay

Maybe.

Spence?

What is happening?

I'm about to find out

Ahhh!!! Owwwww!!! < You're hurting him>

Yeah, I think he'll be all right

Sorry I'm bleeding on your chair

You just had it reupholstered right?

Yeah

You were under contract

Contract for what? The business?

Somebody hired him To kill me.

Oh my God!

I thought we were friends.

Really? Because you never seemed that invested.

Owww!!!

I covered for you. With every client that we have. I talked a half a dozen hussy girls out of slashing your tires

I even drove you to the free clinic when your balls were swollen and you had that fungal thing!

< No, no no no > I helped you bury "Sir Barks-a-lot"

Hey. He was a good dog all right.

Leave him out of this

He couldn't fetch for shit.

Spencer

Yeah?

By the end of the day, you're going to be just as dead as he is

You got a 20 million dollar bounty on your head

Are you going to faint?

Unless I puke first

Breathe

It's okay

How is this okay?

I'll explain. Just not right now

No you explain now! I want you to explain right now!

Jen?

Spence?

Hello?

Yeah that�s it. Be very quiet

Maybe the other assassin will go away.

Yoo-hoo < They could be any of your neighbors >

Come out, come out wherever you are

What?

You didn't think I'd have some competition?

20 million dollars buys a lot of patience Helloooooo!

I can see your car

Spencer, It's just Jackie Valero

I know you're in there.

She just wants to talk about the property line or something

Or... Kill you.

Hello you two, Hello?

What do we do?

Go

What about him? < Oh no no! > < If I don't, he'll come after us >

He's our friend

He's a liar

Put your seatbelt on < I am, I am >

Jen!

Jen! What's going on?

... my gun I can tell

Jen, everything all right

Good Morning

Slow Down!

Stop the car right there I am getting out right now!

Sit Down

I have a right to freak out I don't even know who the hell you are!

It's me

I just have a different resume

Who do you work for?

Is it the Mob?

I can't tell you. If I tell you They could kill you too

Let's just say that I work for the blah. blah. blah And they gave me a license to blah

Air. I need air right now

All right Honey

It was never my primary directive.

Are we even married? legally married not married in your heart?

I got out in France

I was in a love bubble in France

I've got something for you Spence.

Spread your legs. You are not getting off that easy.

Spread 'Em!!

Here Hold this

Hold on

He's on my side. He's on my side

Oh cool! Race cars

Damn!

That got him

You okay?

Mmm Hmm

He's going to be close behind

Hide

What?

What are you going to do?

I'm going to kill him

Whoa!!!

Spence?

Spencer

Get in the truck

Is he...?

Yeah

Start talking.

I was recruited in college Freshman year

Why did they choose you?

They look for independent people. And after my parents passed...

I didn't have any family So...

We've gotta go babe.

You can be pissed at me in the truck

Are you going to kill me too?

Come on. If I was going to kill you, I would have shot you back at the house.

Uh.. that...

Sounded weird I...

Logically, You know that that's true

Okay

Spread 'em. What else do you have down there?

How many people Spencer?

Four

-teen

Fifteen It's fifteen

Is fifteen your real number Or is that like when

You ask a girl how many guy's she's slept with and You have to double in and times it by ten?

I didn't do that. I'm just...

And they were all bad guys As far as I know

But it was getting harder to tell

And then I met you

And we fell in love And I got out

My boss reached out to me yesterday

He's staying in a hotel

He'll know what's going on

Sweetie

Your gun is showing

Where do you expect me to put it?

Have you seen the size of this thing?

Oh, It's my Dad.

Should I take it?

I thought you said you were going to change that?

Sweetheart Relax

It's a little early to check on Spencer Don't you think?

And Jen will just be getting settled at the hotel

Yeah

You're right

Spence?

I got the...

Easy...

It's my old boss Holbrook

Two to the heart One in the head

It's old school training Had to be an experienced hitter.

All right.

Judging from his body It happened earlier this morning

It's okay

It's the adrenaline

You're going in a little bit

How can you talk about him like that? You knew him.

It's my training baby

Sorry

Spence, I can't stay here

I think I'm going to get sick

Just give me a second baby

Gotta have some information

About the target

You already looked there

I'm missing something

It's the watch

It's wrong

He'd never wear anything this flashy Nothing to get noticed

Look at this.

It's broken. Who cares? < No no >

It's a plug in for like a flash drive or something. It's missing.

You're right Someone's taken the drive

Okay All right

Let's go

Do you think that Henry got to Holbrook?

No Henry was in agreement until this morning There was another shooter at the house

I think we need to get out of here

Absolutely

And go to my parents

Yes

No

Yes! My Dad will know what to do

I used to do this for a living okay. We do not Want to involve your parents. And we definitely

Don't need help from your Dad.

Because your plan

To kill Henry and come see a dead guy. It's not really working out

I should have seen this coming

Of course you're going to Rope your parents into this.

Oh! You are a spy And a double agent

But I'm the bad guy because I want to call my parents. Really?

We've been married for three years and we've never been 5 Minutes away from your parents

They're always coming over and you Dad's all "This is how the Cornfields load the dishwasher" and

"Mow the lawn clockwise, because that's the Cornfield way" "Take this piece of coal, Stick it up your keester"

"Squeeze it real tight like we do" "And you'll make a Cornfield diamond"

Now hold up a minute. You're talking about my parents

I'm your husband

What are we going to do when we have our own kids?

Jen Jen

If you could just talk to me for a second I take it back I love your parents

I'm sending them a mental hug right now

Spencer! Hey.. you okay?

Yeah, I'm good

Yeah

Your garage. It's it's a wreck

Yeah it was a party foul it... < You do realize we >

Have the block party tonight and its a... It's a real eyesore.

Well then don't look at it Pete!

You can't just run off like that You make it impossible for me to protect you

A little late for protection

Think about it. My emotions are all over the place. I'm Picking up smells that half the K-9 unit would miss

Plus, I pretty much feel like vomiting Every time I breathe

It's been a stressful day

Explain these

Aren't they always that big?

You take the pill every day

I know, But I had strep last month remember?

I had to take a Z pack

Antibiotics knock out the pill. That's why I told you we Had to be careful.

My technique. Not getting knocked up.

Okay don't yell at me Sureshot

You're the one who suggested Naked Saturdays

Can I help you?

Stop It.

What? She's staring at us Staring is rude.

Can we just.. We're not in a library here. Let's just pick up the pace

Well they're not all equally accurate okay?

Well it's just crazy to stand out here in the aisle so... Take one. Take them all. I don't know? Who cares?

I care. I care Spence. It would be awesome

To know if I am actually making a little being Inside of me okay? And don't you call me crazy!

I'm not calling you crazy. The scenario is crazy Standing here is crazy

You know what? You're not helping

Uh... Folks? Could I be of some assistance?

Yes

Yes

You can ahh... uhh...

Kevin

Which one of these is the most accurate?

I don't think he's a pregnancy test expert

Well...

First Response seems to be pretty popular uh...

Can't seem to keep it on the shelf Here you go

Must be your first. Baby

Oh. Yeah, yeah

Well, It may be your lucky day

Stop it

Look at that

It's on sale

That's great

Let's go

No judging

I need to follow protocol Report Holbrook's termination

I'll get a safe house

You'll be protected there

And I can figure out

Who Holbrook's target was

Maybe find out Who set this whole thing in motion

Along as I get to pee on the stick and eat my Delicious jerky. I'm in

Great

Listen. There's one more thing

You can't be upset... I need to steal a car

The truck's shot to shit. Thing we do all day so...Go for it.>

Honey, I'm eating like I just got home from Fat Camp

I'm glad you said it

Really?

You want to poke Mama Bear right now? That seems like a good idea?

Hey you're kind of scary right now.

You are a go for contact

This is Zulu one four niner. Sierra one zero zero's been forcibly retired

Prior to contact. Please advise a secure Location for briefing

Hold for further instructions

Zulu one four niner?

It's just not very catchy.

Sorry All the cool code names were taken

Zulu one four niner. Please confirm your contact and his status.

Sierra one zero zero and his status is dead And I believe his target has put a hit on me

Negative Sierra one zero zero has no target

He is no longer an active agent. Please provide Your location and code...

What happened?

Something's not right

Where are you going?

To search Henry's stuff. See if we can find out who Hired him. Maybe there's a connection to Holbrook

Oh and you could do your... Pee thing.

I got it

I'm in

Porn...porn...porn.....Poooooorn

People are so inventive.

They're like propped up there and...

Okay, how weird is this going to get?

Because there are some things That you can't unsee

It's a picture of Henry's dog "Sir Barks-a-lot"

In costume?

Wait a minute

Look at the size of these files

Oh my God

These are pictures from two years ago

I mean, This was the first block party we went to

Whoever set this up was patient enough to embed Henry And God knows who else into my life >

Our life

Wait wha...

I'm pretty sure your Dad took that one

What is that supposed to mean?

Yes. An observation about my father And that photo

Because it's a picture that he took.

Okay so now my Dad, is a bad guy

No no no

You're right

Because you're a liar... and a hitman

And everybody probably is too So I bet my Mom's in on it

And Granny Cornfield

Yeah, I think she's just messing with our minds with The whole "I'm in a wheelchair bit!"

Okay, We are getting into some counter productive Territory here and...I think we should move on to

Something else Like

Like... Maybe we should piss on a stick now? That would be a good idea.

It is a good idea because I do have to pee

Grab my gun

You can't just walk out and...

You are aware that people are trying to kill us

I really have to go

Oh for God's sake just turn the light on It's not like there's a lot of places to hide

Just humour me.

Why thanks

I can't pee with you just standing there staring at me.

Honey, you've peed in front of me a million times

But there's a little more pressure now don't you think?

Better?

No.

No...?

-Ahhhh...

Honey, can you please just give me one minute

It's going to take a minute

You can guard the door

Hey!

You're here

< You're here >

Oh God look...

There's a problem with the wind pipe count June 2008

The billing? You might want to take a look at it.

You know what? Let's forget the billing

We'll just We'll take care of it on Monday

Are you sure?

Yeah

Okay

Great

Spence?

Spence?

Hey. You, you... Stop it

Stop it

Honey, I don't know how... it's not It's not shooting

Are you okay?

Hey Are you all right?

I'm out of ammo

Bullets before babies huh?

Ammo's kind of important right now

What's it say?

What's two bars mean?

Hey You've got to translate this for me

Am I going to be a Dad?

I'm going to be a Mother

But I'm not sure yet if you're going to be a father

...

Jen, Jen... I know you're upset

And you have every right to be But I can't change who I was

Where does that leave us?

We'll figure it out

How? How?

Tell me how?

And I will stay

It's over Spence

I know you don't want this to be over

What I wanted stopped mattering The moment I saw those two bars

Where are you going?

Jen....Jen Jen!

-oh... Olivia!

Henry, Who is calling you?

You've got to be kidding me

Hey Spence, I've got a package for you

Relax buddy

Try a little decaf

Come on around the other side for me.

I think it's that back ordered fabric from Tuscan

Sure took its sweet time in getting here huh?

I just need your signature on the top there

Pen?

I think I got him

Yeah you got him

Oh God, I'm glad you're okay

God look at the windshield You must have really pissed him off

Is anyone... Not trying to kill me?

Thanks

Let's go steal a car

So what do we do now?

I don't know

Maybe some couples counseling

No

Now

Spencer What to we do? Right now.

Right now Right

Right now we're going to go to the house. I've got a Go bag. We've got money, weapons, passports. We're set

Why exactly do we have a go bag Spencer?

Did you know this was going to happen?

No. I didn't know

You're lying

You are lying

Am I telling you everything? -No.

I'm not telling you everything -Okay

But we're married That's what married people do honey.

They lie to each other. They tell people things that aren't true to keep them

Safe. And to protect one another when they ask things like If they have their Mother's arms

Not that you have your Mother's arms I'm not...

You lie to me. We met. < No I Didn't!>

Unless your Dad is a Russian pervert?

Well I came clean about that

You didn't

You did not come clean

Did too. I can't help that you were sleeping.

I didn't know that you sleep like a dead person

For all I know You heard everything I said.

Based on what?

Based on... Your leg.... Was twitching

God you know this is perfect This is just perfect

You couldn't have been just hiding Tranny porn in the Crawlspace like Suzy Pratt's husband Murray?

Really? Murray?

No no no no you... Had to be a spy

I can't believe I married a spy. What am I? Pussy Galore?

Not that I know of.

Excuse me?

You're going to complain now about our sex life? Is that what you're doing?

I'm not going to complain about our sex...

Pull the car over! We'll have sex right now!

No! We're going to my parents We are going to my parents!

I'm taking us to my parents house Yes!

We are not going to your parents house

Yes we are I said YES!

Listen to me

We can not go to your parents You have to trust me

I love you

And I will protect you. Now you did a great job of Finding a car. I need you to point it at the house and

Step on it

Okay -Fine

I'm stepping on it and it's not...

It's not going...It's

Stopping actually It's starting to...

Not go.

Didn't notice the uhh... Blinking fuel light?

You're right

I apologize. Topping off the tank Should have been my first priority

Run

Go!

Darn It!

It's locked

I missed..

Really?

20 Million!!!

God those Volvo's are amazing

Shit!

Stay close Keep moving

Walnut muffin?

Hi guys! Spence Spence Jen Jen

Jen Jen Where are you guys going?

They've got corn dogs They�ve got regular. And they've got bacon covered

Honey! There's no wat she's packing heat

You'd be surprised where people hide stuff

Guys can I use the bathroom in you house?

Number one.

Where is the go bag? In the office

Stay away from the windows. The safe is underneath The carpet and the combination's our anniversary

Where are you going?

To get the guns.

Oh, to get the guns More guns

That's great

Rotilda Walfredsson?

Ooh, I'm Swedish

Spence?

Spencer Is that you?

Spence?

Spencer Is that you?

Oh God!

Mom.

Hey, You know,.. It is actually not a great time.

You think?

Kristen?

You know... That actually kind of makes sense

Lower your gun! Or it's last call for Mommy.

I told you She's not a nice girl

You told her that?

That's very rude

God damn it! Who is up there?

I don't know.

If somebody shoots Mr. Perfect Before I have the chance to...

I will kill you both

On principal Lower your gun, Now!

Check it out.

Just let my Mom go, okay I am all the leverage you need

I didn't spend the last three years Listening to you babble incisively

About your perfect little life

To F it all up now

So get in the living room Both of you

Let's go

Let's go

Turn around

Come here dear

Come on

You okay? Are you all right?

Jen

To be fair We did have some good times

Yeah

Remember when...

Oh, there you are dear.

Answer the phone sir

My dead best friend wants to let you know That your target's still alive

Stand down Spencer

Whoa, hey... Guys

He killed Holbrook

Two to the heart One to the head. Remember?

And then he pulled the trigger on me

Daddy Is that true?

I put sleepers in your life Because I didn't trust your husband

I hoped I'd never have to use it

It's the flash drive from Holbrooks watch

It's all there His old boss turned dirty.

And in you office... When I saw that card with his name on it.

I knew you were back in the game And you were coming after me

So I activated the killers

I'm not trying to kill you sir.

Why don't you tell her about Nice Where you tried to blow me up

How did you know about Nice?

I was supposed to be on that helicopter

When I saw you I didn't go

You said you got out when we met in France You said you were in the love bubble.

I got out

I'm out

Just look at him Does he look like he's out?

It was my last job

I'm out I got out

For us

And I'm never going back

So..

You are not a pilot.

Daddy enough, put your gun down. I have been dodging Bullets all day thanks to you and it is not good for the baby

You have a baby?

No I'm going to

Ohh!! I knew it

Let's celebrate

I'm going to be a Grandpa?

Yes

Oh God!

Oh my God

And you are the father?

Oh for God's sakes Dad

Okay

Okay

This would be a great time for a trust circle

A trust circle?

Yes

Let's do that okay

Let's gather everybody Dad, pull up a chair

Mother Join us

O...kay

Okay

I don't do Trust circles

I know Mother, But I think that this is Necessary. Humour me.

Okay

I finally understand

That I am not to blame For this dynamic, okay?

You are

And you need to own that. I need to own the fact that I Unwittingly married the one man who is exactly like my father

A liar

So...

If any of you want to ever see this kid. This is what's going to happen

Okay

There will be No more lying

No more.. Stealing cars or...

Hiding weapons in the furniture

And I never want to see you two try to kill each other again Okay, In fact...

There will be no more killing

I don't want to see you swat a fucking fly!

Okay

All Right

Are we all together on this?

Yeah...

Great job baby

Is there anything else?

That I need to Or should know

Anyone

Spencer

English is not my first language

Oh. Oh. And also... The third week that we were together

You said I love you

In your sleep. And I didn't tell you because I wanted To be the one who said it first.

So...

Thank you honey

Mom?

Dear. You remember that time that, I took you and Your little friend for a boat ride?

No

No?

Well forget it then We're good

Okay

Okay Fine

In addition to planting killers in your life And secretly working for a government agency

I would like to admit

Yoo Hoo!

Jen!

We need to talk about that darn property line

Hi Jen...

Sweetie?

I don't think she was a killer

Oh, I know

Red wire crosses blue Good as new

Blue crosses red. Good as dead I know. It's my saying

That's not your saying, That's my saying You copied me.

I did not copy... I have not copied you a day in my life

Really?

I think it's coming in nice Don't you?

No.

Well he likes it.

Don't you buddy?

You like Daddy's mustache don't you? Don't you like that mustache?

How's my little big guy doing?

Great. Except for your Dad thinks I'm copying him which I'm not Will you please tell him I'm not copying him.

Sorry sweetie Every girl marries her Father

Oh that's not gross

I certainly did

Oh my Father was one handsome man.

Well built,.. Rippling muscles. His mustache was a lot larger than yours though

Thick! like a Vulcan forest

But you're here to baby-sit, not creep me out So if you wouldn't mind

Oh Hi!

Yeah Grandma's a little scary

Maybe it's too soon. Maybe we should just stay

No no. It's not too soon We're not staying. It's date night

We're going to go out. It's going to be great. I'm wearing my skinny jeans

Don't worry Spencer You can trust us

If we can't trust them Who can we trust right?

Right

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