subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Half Magic (2018) 1080p

Afrikaans

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bengali

Bosnian

Bulgarian

Catalan

Cebuano

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German Download

Greek

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Khmer

Korean Download

Kurdish (Kurmanji)

Kyrgyz

Lao

Latin

Latvian

Lithuanian

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Nepali

Norwegian

Pashto

Persian Download

Polish

Portuguese

Punjabi

Romanian

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Sesotho

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhala

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Telugu

Thai

Turkish

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Odia (Oriya)

Kinyarwanda

Turkmen

Tatar

Uyghur

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:15,048 [MUSIC PLAYING] 2 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,788 WOMAN: Danny, don't splash me! [LAUGHS] 3 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:22,856 Stop. I'm getting wet. 4 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,659 -MAN: That's the idea. -[WOMAN GIGGLING] 5 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,262 -WOMAN: Stop it. -Hi, sweetie. 6 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,497 MAN: Oh, come on! 7 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,465 Come on, let's go back to my place. 8 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:34,067 WOMAN: Maybe we should wait. 9 00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:35,969 MAN: Wait, schmait! 10 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:39,205 These two people are not married, 11 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,541 and they're going to have premarital sex. 12 00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,209 You could go to hell for that. 13 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,778 All right, that's it. You're not allowed 14 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,413 to watch this show anymore. 15 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:49,215 It inspires urges that are... 16 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,619 -wrong and bad. -WOMAN: Let's go to your place. 17 00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,386 MAN: Groovy! 18 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,588 You could go to hell for those urges. 19 00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:01,795 In hell, there is a fire 20 00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:05,832 that will lap at you for all eternity. 21 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,767 You gotta decide... 22 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:12,572 Do you want to go to heaven, or do you wanna go to hell? 23 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,240 -[GASPS] -[ORGAN PLAYING] 24 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,409 -[PANTING] -[MAN GRUNTING] 25 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,612 Yeah. You a bad girl? Huh? You a bad girl? 26 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,214 -I'm a bad girl. -Yeah! 27 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,783 You're a dirty little slut, huh? Dirty little slut, 28 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:24,984 -yeah. -Um, yes. 29 00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:25,952 Say it. Say you're a dirty slut. 30 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:29,089 -I'm a dirty slut. -Yeah, you're a dirty slut! 31 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:33,093 [GROANING] 32 00:01:38,531 --> 00:01:40,900 Oh. Hmm. 33 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,537 Hmm. Hmm. 34 00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,473 Okay. 35 00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,308 Oh. 36 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,176 [SIGHS] 37 00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:52,479 Mm. 38 00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,981 Why do you always call me a dirty little slut? 39 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,015 Ah. 40 00:01:56,015 --> 00:01:58,418 Come on. You love it. 41 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,120 I like having sex on a bed. 42 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,455 Is this because maybe you're, uh, you're jealous 43 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,756 that I'm more successful than you? 44 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,091 -[DOOR KNOCKING] -MAN: Mr. Brock, 45 00:02:05,091 --> 00:02:06,092 we're ready for you onstage. 46 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:09,395 Peter, you have been in one great movie after another. 47 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,231 Walk me through your process. 48 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,299 How do you prepare for this? 49 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:16,136 I tell you, I play a lot of action heroes. 50 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,036 Um... 51 00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:18,671 and in those-- in those movies, 52 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,207 I have heavy artillery. I have guns, 53 00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:22,642 okay? 54 00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,612 I have a gun on me right now. 55 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,814 Not physically, in the physical sense. 56 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,216 I put it on the table earlier. It's right here. 57 00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,317 Imagine it, okay? 58 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,254 -It's an emotional gun for me. -Right. 59 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:35,922 This gun's here... 60 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:36,890 all the time. 61 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,826 Sometimes I put it in my pocket, sometimes I put it in my... 62 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,594 That's how I prepare. I'm always ready. 63 00:02:41,594 --> 00:02:44,797 I'm always the action hero. Bang! Not real. 64 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,332 But real. 65 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,134 -MAN: Uh-- -I'll do it. 66 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,602 Don't do it. 67 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:50,370 I won't do it. 68 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,138 You've been doing this for years, and years and years. 69 00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,440 Certainly, you've heard some of the talk on the streets. 70 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,776 People say that Peter is just a tough guy, 71 00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:59,479 a hard guy to work with. How do you respond to that? 72 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:03,783 Yeah, Napoleon died exiled on an island of-- of leprosy. 73 00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:04,817 That's-- that's true. 74 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:05,852 -That's history. -MAN: Yeah. 75 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,055 Jesus died on the cross, you know? 76 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,690 Um, visionaries die 77 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,693 sometimes quicker than non-visionaries. 78 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:14,527 You're a visionary? 79 00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,795 PETER: Thank you. But I'm not saying-- 80 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,263 -Oh, you're asking. I think... -It was a question. 81 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:19,632 ...um, I think that's up for kinda the press to decide, 82 00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:20,600 and I think that bloggers, 83 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,602 and people who write physical magazines 84 00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,903 have said I was a-- a visionary. 85 00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,605 People have-- have tweeted me about that. 86 00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,207 You know, you made Bros Before Hos. 87 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,474 Why don't you make the female version? 88 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:30,543 I-- I wrote a great script. It's called Chicks Before Dicks. 89 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,345 -Did you read it? -Uh, look, Boo Boo, 90 00:03:32,345 --> 00:03:33,713 you have all the talent. You really do. 91 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,881 And I'm the one that discovered you 92 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,249 and gave you your big break, right? 93 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,283 -Yeah. -Yeah, I promoted you 94 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:38,985 -to be my D girl, right? -I want to be a writer. 95 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,687 I know you want to be a writer, and in due time. 96 00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,356 Really. Your writing is great. It's fresh and very unique. 97 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,390 But you're bogging yourself down 98 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,192 talking about stupid shit. You know what? You-- 99 00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,394 Nobody wants to hear about women's stories, all right? 100 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,330 If you want to make a film, you got to talk about a man. 101 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,898 You gotta write about a man. That's what you have to do. 102 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,833 Well, can you read my script? It's called The Year of My Yoni. 103 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,602 It's about a woman who goes on a spiritual quest 104 00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,570 to find happiness and to learn about her yoni. 105 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,771 Yoni? I don't even know what that is. 106 00:03:58,771 --> 00:04:00,373 Is that, like, a new way of saying "vagina"? 107 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:01,774 It sounds like a porno. I'm not into it. 108 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,811 Look, a guy bashing another guy's skull in 109 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,614 with a baseball bat, that's what sells. 110 00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,484 Well, I could change the title to The Ultra-Violent Yoni. 111 00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,786 You know, that's a good start. You could put more violence 112 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:14,988 in your script, that'd definitely get 113 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,322 a better chance of getting it made. Um, 114 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,124 on my end, I'm gonna put more female characters 115 00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,726 -in my next script. -Really? 116 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,028 Yeah, uh, it's called Kill the Sluts. 117 00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:23,162 Uh, I'm gonna pick a title 118 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:24,330 that's more PC a little bit later. 119 00:04:24,330 --> 00:04:26,366 That's a working title. But basically, uh, 120 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,968 the movie's about this crazy psychopathic killer 121 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:29,969 that goes on a killing rampage 122 00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,104 and kills all these teenage sluts. 123 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,039 But the only person that he can't kill 124 00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,507 is an 18-year-old virgin. 125 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,076 Don't you think that'll send out a weird message to women 126 00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,811 and teenage girls about sex? And those women 127 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:40,446 might grow up and have a lot of issues. 128 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,981 I'm not saying I'm against women's rights. 129 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,716 I'm just saying that there's no market 130 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:45,084 for their films. 131 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:49,389 [MUSIC PLAYING] 132 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,035 [SIGHS] 133 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,543 [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING] 134 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,992 -[LAUGHS] -WOMAN: Hello! 135 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,127 [GASPS] 136 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,962 -Welcome! -Welcome, goddess! 137 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:03,963 Is this your first time? 138 00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,265 -I guess so. -Are you ready 139 00:06:06,265 --> 00:06:08,134 to uncover your deepest desires 140 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:11,504 and join the pleasure revolution? 141 00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,873 -HONEY: I don't know. -That's good enough for now. 142 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,641 You are in exactly the right place. 143 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:18,544 -ROXY: Yes! Welcome! -HONEY: Oh. 144 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:23,082 Fear! So what? 145 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,953 Failure! So what? 146 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,555 WOMAN: My pussy is strong! 147 00:06:29,822 --> 00:06:32,291 My pussy is strong! 148 00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:34,460 My pussy is a genius! 149 00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:37,330 ALL: My pussy is a genius! 150 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:41,267 We must listen to our pussies. 151 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:45,772 ALL: We must listen to our pussies. 152 00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,975 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 153 00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,810 Ladies, I would now like to introduce you 154 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,112 to a dear friend of mine, my mentor, 155 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:58,818 -Dr. Christiane Northrup! -[CHEERING] 156 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,989 -What a pleasure. -Thank you. 157 00:07:02,989 --> 00:07:05,091 Thank you. Thank you. 158 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,526 All right... 159 00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:07,827 I have something... 160 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,264 really magical to tell you. 161 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:15,067 I love my breasts. 162 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:16,369 Say it with me. 163 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:20,306 ALL: I love my breasts. 164 00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:21,674 I love your breasts, too, Chris. 165 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:25,711 -And I love yours. Thank you. -Oh, thank you. 166 00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:26,846 Now it is time to honor 167 00:07:26,846 --> 00:07:28,548 the breasts of the women in the room. 168 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:31,784 I would like you to turn to the person next to you, 169 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,387 and look at her breasts and say, 170 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:39,492 "Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you." 171 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,561 Find-- everybody find a partner, please. 172 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:43,963 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 173 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,365 Excuse me, could you-- could you be my partner? 174 00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,633 -WOMAN: Yes, sure. -Okay. 175 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,768 Hi! I don't have a partner. 176 00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:50,903 Is it possible we could do a three-way? 177 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:51,871 I've never done a three-way. 178 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:54,774 This is my third time taking the class. 179 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,642 First time... 180 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,044 I liked my boobs. 181 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:01,180 Second time, I loved my boobs. 182 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:01,948 Now... 183 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:05,284 [WHISPERING] I really, really love my boobs. 184 00:08:05,384 --> 00:08:06,486 -Mm! -Wow. 185 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,856 Yeah. This is a powerful exercise to release the shame 186 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:12,625 that we carry in our sexual organs. 187 00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:13,993 Okay! [SIGHS] 188 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:18,531 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 189 00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:23,102 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 190 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:24,403 Okay! 191 00:08:24,403 --> 00:08:27,940 Your bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 192 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:30,943 Wow! This is my first lesbian experience. 193 00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:34,046 I didn't know I had it in me. [LAUGHS] 194 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,114 Okay. I-- 195 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:36,949 are you Eva St. Claire the designer? 196 00:08:36,949 --> 00:08:38,284 -Yes. -Wow, I'm-- 197 00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:41,754 Why are you in this class? You seem so together. 198 00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:43,990 Believe me... 199 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:44,891 I have issues. 200 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,492 WOMAN: That is now the end of the class 201 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,427 for the Divine Feminine Workshop. 202 00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,463 We will be meeting next week 203 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,130 to worship 204 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,300 -and decorate our pussies. -[GASPS] 205 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,035 [CHEERING] 206 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,737 WOMAN: Thank you. 207 00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:04,844 [ALL CHANTING] Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! 208 00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,245 This class changed my life. 209 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,548 This class, my color-therapy workshops, 210 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,817 and my past-life regression conferences. 211 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,986 -What's color therapy? -Oh! 212 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,756 It's about how certain colors make you feel. 213 00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:19,158 That sounds helpful. 214 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:19,725 Oh! 215 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,861 Do you guys want to come to the place where I work? 216 00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,964 I cast magical spells to make your dreams come true. 217 00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,065 I'm a hope-ologist. 218 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,701 -What's a hope-ologist? -I just made that word up. 219 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,502 Isn't it awesome? 220 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:33,472 I believe in the religion of hope, or hope-ology. 221 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:34,707 I just made that up, too! 222 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:37,443 I just spent an hour singing about my pussy, 223 00:09:37,443 --> 00:09:38,644 so why the hell not? 224 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,313 Yeah, I mean, it's either that or going home 225 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,781 to think about how much I hate myself, 226 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,883 -so let's do it. -Let's do it! 227 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:47,720 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh Sha-ba-lum ♪ 228 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,591 ♪ Ah-ooh sha-ba-lum Ah-ooh ♪ 229 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,359 This place is really cool. 230 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,760 CANDY: Okay. 231 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:56,862 So... 232 00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,764 what do you want to wish for? 233 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,733 -How does it work? -Oh... 234 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,502 I carve these candles and cast spells on them. 235 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,271 I don't know if it's positive intention 236 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,907 or creative visualization or actual magic, 237 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,977 but these spells work for a lot of people. 238 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:14,113 Some of my regulars call me The Witch. 239 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,515 -What kind of spells? -Oh! All kinds. 240 00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:19,685 Some for serious stuff, like for love, or work and stuff, 241 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:22,922 but some fun ones, too, like, "I want my own unicorn." 242 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,123 They aren't magical. 243 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,125 They're overpriced candles for rich idiots 244 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:27,893 who got nothing better to do. 245 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:28,861 Your paycheck's on my desk. 246 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:30,262 Can you take out the trash while you're at it? 247 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:31,831 I don't want the rats getting in there. 248 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,199 Sorry, Mr. J. 249 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,568 Did Mr. Fun Time just call us idiots? 250 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,470 What an asshole. I think some people 251 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,372 just don't have enough imagination. 252 00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,374 Honey, I think you should go first. 253 00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,309 [SIGHS] Okay. Um, hmm. 254 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,478 Well, I want to have hot sex with someone 255 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,013 who's really nice to me. [SIGHS] 256 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:51,317 Hot sex. Yes. Give it to me! I want that, too. 257 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:55,354 I want to not fall asleep during sex. 258 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,156 I want to be awake. 259 00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,258 I want to be... 260 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:01,127 an active part of it. 261 00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:04,196 -Okay, I want in. I want in! -Okay. 262 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,464 Um... 263 00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,034 I'm gonna use the red candle 264 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,635 for passion. 265 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:10,636 So... 266 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:12,371 you hold the candle and you think 267 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,107 about what you want to release from your life, 268 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:18,177 and then think about what you want. 269 00:11:18,310 --> 00:11:20,946 Picture the hot sex. 270 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:26,686 Okay. 271 00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:27,520 All right. 272 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,855 I want to have the hottest sex I've ever had 273 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,825 with someone who's really nice to me. 274 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:36,062 And so mote it be. 275 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:36,762 "Mote"? 276 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,932 It's witch talk for "and so shall it be." 277 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:41,467 Witch talk. 278 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,069 I like it. 279 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:43,969 Okay. 280 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:47,373 You guys, I really just want my ex-husband back. 281 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,875 [SIGHS] I don't need hot sex. 282 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,576 I mean, like... 283 00:11:50,576 --> 00:11:53,979 room-temperature-warm sex would be nice 284 00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,215 for me. Here we go. 285 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,718 -[SIGHS] -And so mote it be. 286 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,453 And so mote it be. 287 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,221 Hmm. 288 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,557 I want hot sex with Daniel. 289 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,759 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 290 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,332 [SIGHS] 291 00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:16,836 Okay, I don't know if all of this is BS, 292 00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,370 but I actually feel better. 293 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:21,240 Oh, my God, I'm invited to a fun party tonight! 294 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,908 Do you guys want to go with me? 295 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,143 -Yeah! -CANDY: Yeah! 296 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:27,279 ♪ I got the light ♪ 297 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,883 ♪ I got the light ♪ 298 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,420 ♪ I got the light ♪ 299 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:38,357 ♪ I got the light ♪ 300 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:42,328 ♪ I got the light ♪ 301 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,562 [CHEERING] 302 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,830 ♪ I got the light ♪ 303 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,099 -CANDY: Oh, my God. -Wait for it. 304 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,434 ♪ I got the light ♪ 305 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,436 Oh, yeah! Here we go. 306 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,205 [GASPS] Ah! 307 00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:57,076 Oh, my God! Amazing! 308 00:12:57,877 --> 00:12:58,778 Hi! 309 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,147 ♪ I got the light ♪ 310 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,815 [GIGGLING] 311 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:09,121 -[CHEERING] -[EVA SCREAMS] 312 00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:10,322 EVA: Oh, my God. 313 00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,892 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 314 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:14,760 [HONEY CHEERING] 315 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:21,300 ♪ I got the light ♪ 316 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:33,179 ♪ I got the light ♪ 317 00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:39,084 -Hey! -Ah! 318 00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,420 -EVA: Hi! -It's so good to see you, babe. 319 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:42,555 Good to see you, too. 320 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,623 And who is your gorgeous friend? 321 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,357 EVA: Oh, uh... 322 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,760 Honey, this is Freedom. He's a great artist. 323 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,829 He does these cool light installations. 324 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,464 -HONEY: Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 325 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:53,966 [CHUCKLING] 326 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:56,268 I would really love to show you my art installations. 327 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,603 I would love to see your art installations. 328 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,972 Yeah, I'd really love to dance with you right now. 329 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,574 -Okay! -Yeah. 330 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:05,077 [MUSIC PLAYING] 331 00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,149 ♪ I got the light ♪ 332 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:13,886 ♪ I got the light ♪ 333 00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:17,122 ♪ I got the light ♪ 334 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,993 ♪ Oh I got the light ♪ 335 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,096 -Want to get something to eat? -[SIGHS] 336 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:27,299 I-- I can't, 'cause I have to get up early tomorrow, 337 00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:29,568 and I have a boyfriend. 338 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,805 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 339 00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:34,306 What's that? 340 00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,174 "No one... 341 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:36,308 can take away the dance." 342 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,544 -[CHUCKLES] -It's a Spanish saying. 343 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,578 No matter what happens, 344 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,314 we'll always have this wonderful night... 345 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,483 and our dance. 346 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,018 HONEY: Oh. 347 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,888 Thanks for your jacket. [CHUCKLES] 348 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:50,856 That was fun. 349 00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,191 ♪ I got the light ♪ 350 00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:55,861 ♪ I got the light ♪ ♪ I got the light ♪ 351 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:58,497 -The dance lives forever. -[FREEDOM CHUCKLES] 352 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,532 FREEDOM: Dance lives forever! 353 00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:03,702 ♪ I got the light ♪ 354 00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:07,539 -♪ I got the light ♪ -♪ I got the light ♪ 355 00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:11,844 -♪ I got the light ♪ -♪ All of the way ♪ 356 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,613 ♪ I got the light ♪ 357 00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,782 This is what I want to happen. I want the slut 358 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,784 to have an orgasm, and when she has an orgasm 359 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,185 I want the killer to come up behind her 360 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,787 and just stab her in the ass, okay? 361 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:23,822 I want there to be a lot of blood in this scene. 362 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:25,324 Like, almost too much, where you're like... 363 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:29,194 But--but a lot, but, like-- but, like, almost too much. 364 00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,130 I also want there to be very good dialogue, 365 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,731 okay? And that's where you come in. 366 00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:34,967 So I want the character to say something cool, like, 367 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,435 "Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you!" 368 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,170 "Fuck you, bitch. Fuck you." Got it. 369 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,639 Do whatever you want to do, but that. 370 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,643 I'm sick of watching women get stabbed in movies. [SIGHS] 371 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:48,814 I think it's a great idea, Peter. I love all your ideas. 372 00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:51,150 So much. 373 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:53,619 Excuse me, but why does the woman who enjoys sex 374 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,187 always have to die in horror films? 375 00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,790 Maybe she could fight back. 376 00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,527 We could work in some more nudity that way. 377 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,661 What if the slut fights the killer 378 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:05,764 and every orgasm she has makes her stronger. 379 00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:06,832 [CHUCKLES] That's funny. 380 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:09,101 I think we should at least try it. 381 00:16:09,101 --> 00:16:11,003 Well, you know what, John? I would try that, 382 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,004 but I-- I can't-- I actually-- 383 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:13,939 I think that that's probably the worst fucking idea 384 00:16:13,939 --> 00:16:15,274 I've ever heard in my entire life, 385 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,775 so I probably can't do that one. 386 00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:18,677 I like sluts. Why do they all have to die? 387 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,113 I mean, nobody kills male sluts in movies. 388 00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,915 I like sluts, too. 389 00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,683 Who doesn't like sluts? 390 00:16:24,683 --> 00:16:25,818 Maybe one should live. 391 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,920 Well... Linda, the thing is, you already approved 392 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,888 -the draft that I wrote, so-- -Who are you? 393 00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,690 I'm a development person. 394 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,827 Well, yeah, she was my old assistant until recently 395 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,861 I promoted her into development 396 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,497 before I realized what an angry feminist she is. 397 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:41,900 She's also a writer. Actually, a really good writer. 398 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,068 Well, we all write. 399 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:43,936 I want to be a writer. 400 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,205 I'm-- I'm the young assistant. 401 00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:47,606 -Peter's. -All right, 402 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,174 well, you know, that's confusing, 403 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,244 but I like this idea. I think we should explore it. 404 00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:55,581 -Yeah, Linda, but I think-- -Peter, I gave you final cut. 405 00:16:55,581 --> 00:17:00,152 No studio's gonna offer you that. The slut lives. 406 00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:01,020 Old assistant person, 407 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,456 I would like you and John to work on the next draft. 408 00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,558 Get it to me when you're done. 409 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,795 -[HONEY SIGHS] -PETER: Linda, if I could just-- 410 00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:12,331 LINDA: Yeah, I have an appointment in St. Barts 411 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,099 later today. 412 00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:16,835 [PHONE RINGING] 413 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:20,005 Excuse me, but what the hell was that? 414 00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:21,640 Well, when we started working together, 415 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,542 you said you liked my ideas. 416 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:24,676 It embarrasses me to think 417 00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:27,312 about the idiotic films that you want to make. 418 00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:28,280 Thought it was a good idea. 419 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,816 Better than a guy stabbing a girl in the ass. 420 00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:31,517 Sex and violence 421 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,119 is a proven formula that makes a profit. 422 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,888 Well, what about... 423 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,623 sex and happiness? 424 00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,425 You're embarrassing yourself! 425 00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:41,860 The-- What are you talking about? 426 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,263 I want to break up. 427 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:47,066 PETER: What? Really? 428 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,935 You want to break up with-- with me? 429 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,403 Do you have any idea 430 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,373 how many girls want to sleep with me right now, 431 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,141 huh? So many. 432 00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:57,476 I'm Peter Brock, okay? 433 00:17:57,476 --> 00:17:59,945 Well, why don't you go have sex with them? 434 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,614 Yeah, maybe I-- maybe I will, okay? 435 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,317 But, no, you know what? Actually... 436 00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,752 rewind. I break up with you. 437 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,088 Before what you said, I break up with you 438 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,889 before you said you break up with me. 439 00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:12,591 It was my idea. 440 00:18:13,358 --> 00:18:14,793 Great idea. 441 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,795 I'm Peter Brock. Look at this. 442 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,865 Look at all-- There's three posters here. 443 00:18:19,865 --> 00:18:20,532 More-- I-- 444 00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,469 There's some behind the door I didn't even hang up. 445 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,472 You are my honey bunny. Come here. 446 00:18:27,005 --> 00:18:29,041 You are my honey bunny. 447 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:31,877 Oh... 448 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,615 Get me a coffee. 449 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,817 [DOGS BARKING] 450 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,255 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 451 00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:46,091 Yeah, but he sounds like a wanker. 452 00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:46,925 Why work for him? 453 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:48,827 Well, it's hard to find work in the movie business. 454 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,363 -It's a man's world. [SIGHS] -Yeah, 455 00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:53,799 well, yeah. Huh? 456 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,167 Mm! 457 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,603 Do you like eating with your hands? 458 00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,004 Um, I don't know. 459 00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,608 Mm. You know, you can just feel the food, you know? 460 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,543 Sometimes I just want to eat like a dog. 461 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:08,180 Yeah, I just want to put my face in there, yeah? 462 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,482 Huh? 463 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:13,285 [GROANS] Mm-mm! 464 00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,387 [CHUCKLES] 465 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,121 Come on, try it. 466 00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:17,322 Oh, it's so good. Give it a go. 467 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,124 -Come on. -Oh, no, it's okay. 468 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,126 Come on. You've got to try this. 469 00:19:21,793 --> 00:19:23,295 Come on. 470 00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:27,399 -Mm. Yum. -Yeah? Right? 471 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,934 -Delicious. [CHUCKLES] -Yeah. 472 00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,869 It's straight from the plate to your face. 473 00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,304 Wow, it's so much better this way. 474 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,907 It is, absolutely. I'm gonna join you down here. 475 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,209 Mm! Oh, it's so good! Mm! 476 00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,911 CANDY: [PANTING] I love you. 477 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,245 MAN: I love you. 478 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,447 [PANTING] 479 00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,316 You know I don't... 480 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:45,951 want a relationship, right? 481 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,286 You knew that, though, right? [CHUCKLES] 482 00:19:47,286 --> 00:19:48,987 -That's just... That's just... -[LAUGHS] Wait. 483 00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:52,124 Well, aren't we already actually having a relationship? 484 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,725 -I mean... -I mean, if you wanna-- 485 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:54,927 ...we've been dating for two years 486 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,128 and you just told me you loved me. 487 00:19:56,128 --> 00:20:00,766 Oh, Yeah, well, you know, I-- Yeah, I love you, you know, I-- 488 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:04,903 I love you as a sister, you know, as a friend, and... 489 00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:07,539 as-- as a sexual partner, uh... 490 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,175 as-- as a fellow human being, you know? 491 00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,978 But I think we should just find a new and better way to-- 492 00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:14,746 to do relationships. 493 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:17,482 -You know? -Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 494 00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:18,550 [CHUCKLES] 495 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,252 -Right? -Okay. 496 00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:23,355 Oh. Shit. Babe, I got to-- I got to go, actually, 497 00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:27,392 'cause I have a... I just-- I just got a crazy week. 498 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,727 Oh, can I also, uh-- 499 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:33,498 Babe, can I-- can I leave that, uh, my laundry here and, uh... 500 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,367 get it on Thursday? 501 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:39,438 You want me to do your laundry while you date other women? 502 00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,074 That's... I mean, that would be really insensitive 503 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,076 if we were in some old-fashioned, 504 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,377 you know, closed-minded... 505 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,312 relationship, but since we're not, you know, 506 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,815 we're-- we're, uh, we're not confining ourselves 507 00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,750 to societal norms, then I think-- 508 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,086 I think it's fine. Yeah. 509 00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,754 All right. 510 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,955 Bye. 511 00:20:56,955 --> 00:21:00,125 [MUSIC PLAYING] 512 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,599 Hey. Um, me again. Listen, 513 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,433 I was just gonna say 514 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:12,137 why don't you just ignore those previous voicemails, okay? 515 00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:12,938 Because... [SIGHS] 516 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,841 here's-- here's the real truth, okay? 517 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,509 Let's get honest. 518 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,311 I am great. 519 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,912 I'm great. I'm so great. 520 00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:25,617 And I'm super-happy for you and Chandra. 521 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:26,885 And here's the thing, 522 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,187 I'm so happy! I'm so happy and I'm great. 523 00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:32,224 Like, if great were people, I'd be, like, fucking-- 524 00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,759 Where is there a lot of people? India? 525 00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:39,164 Beijing? I'm fucking Beijing. That's how great I am. 526 00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,833 So I saved one of your messages that you left me, 527 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,068 you know, right when you were, like, 528 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:44,803 "Hey, by the way, I'm fucking a 19-year-old." 529 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,372 It's such a great message. It's so amazing. 530 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,575 I'm so glad you told me things on a voicemail. 531 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:51,576 You are so brave. 532 00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,879 And by "brave," I mean, like, 533 00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:54,913 you're a fucking idiot. 534 00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:55,881 I just wanted you to know that. 535 00:21:55,881 --> 00:21:57,883 I saved it, and I play it for my friends. 536 00:21:57,883 --> 00:21:59,384 And we laugh and laugh. 537 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:02,120 And then I tell them about your weird dick. 538 00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:04,756 And I'm fucking naked. 539 00:22:04,756 --> 00:22:05,624 And I have on-- [GROANS] 540 00:22:05,624 --> 00:22:08,226 I have on those... high-heel, like, 541 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:10,295 fuck-me pumps that you love. 542 00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,331 Oh, yeah, I'm naked. 543 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,598 Mm. You know what else? 544 00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:16,735 Remember that time you told me to squeeze your dick really hard 545 00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:18,170 at the base of it? 546 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,305 I'm fucking doing that... 547 00:22:20,305 --> 00:22:23,475 and you don't-- Yeah, and it's awesome. 548 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,479 So, baby, call me. 549 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:34,353 'Cause I could suck your cock. [SOBBING] 550 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,555 I really think you should come over, 551 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:38,857 'cause I might do something bad to myself. 552 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,427 Oh, my God, I might do something so bad, and then... 553 00:22:42,427 --> 00:22:43,595 I mean, I don't know what I would do, 554 00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:46,031 but it would be bad, and then you would feel guilty, 555 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:48,333 like, for the rest of your life. 556 00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:49,534 So... 557 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:53,572 I can't wait to hear from you. Okay. 558 00:22:53,739 --> 00:22:55,340 Bye! 559 00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:59,211 [MUSIC PLAYING] 560 00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,283 Wow. 561 00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:07,285 This is amazing. 562 00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:12,691 [MUSIC PLAYING] 563 00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:21,133 -Is this all your art? -Oh, yeah. 564 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:22,801 See... 565 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:26,304 our society is sick, yeah? 566 00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:29,408 [SIGHS] It's no wonder the Earth is dying, 567 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:33,178 'cause the culture sends its message, yeah? 568 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:35,080 Join the rat race. Make money. 569 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,848 Be a winner, otherwise you're nothing. 570 00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:40,352 It's read Us Weekly. Drink the Kool-Aid. 571 00:23:40,352 --> 00:23:41,720 Fuck that shit. 572 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,557 I'm my own man. I mean, sure, got to make money. 573 00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,759 But I don't let them own me 574 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:50,295 by seeking their approval, yeah? 575 00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:53,465 I'm free. [GASPS] 576 00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,067 Why I chose the name Freedom. 577 00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,869 Okay. 578 00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:01,807 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 579 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:06,278 I don't go to exercise classes, you know? 580 00:24:06,912 --> 00:24:08,547 I do my own thing. 581 00:24:08,547 --> 00:24:09,981 [PANTING] 582 00:24:09,981 --> 00:24:11,750 Why follow the man? 583 00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,785 I create my own moves 584 00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:17,422 I don't need someone to give them to me. [CHUCKLES] 585 00:24:17,422 --> 00:24:20,459 Well, yoga exercises are thousands of years old 586 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,594 for a reason. They really work. 587 00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:31,603 Why don't you let the man out of you? 588 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:35,841 Why don't you go your own way... 589 00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,344 instead of trying to please people? 590 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,017 [MUSIC PLAYING] 591 00:24:56,761 --> 00:24:59,331 Are you gonna keep doing those moves? 592 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,500 Oh, yeah. 593 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,549 -DARREN: Eva? -[DOOR KNOCKING] 594 00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:22,087 Shit. 595 00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,755 Are you in there? 596 00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:29,661 Hi. 597 00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:31,696 Fuck-me pumps, huh? 598 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:34,165 EVA: Uh, they're upstairs. You want me to get them? 599 00:25:34,165 --> 00:25:35,600 No. That's okay. 600 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,369 I took them off 'cause they hurt my feet. 601 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,905 -Mm-hmm. -You put on the sweats. 602 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,874 I was worried, obviously. 603 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,109 So many messages. 604 00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:45,043 You were worried about me? 605 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:48,513 Well... 14 messages and some suicide threats. 606 00:25:48,513 --> 00:25:52,751 I never said suicide. I said, "Maybe something bad." 607 00:25:53,418 --> 00:25:57,255 And that you would die alone. You're not gonna die alone. 608 00:25:57,622 --> 00:25:59,024 But if you do... 609 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:01,526 it's because of doing things like this. 610 00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,296 You look really nice. 611 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:05,830 Thank you. I'm gonna go. 612 00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:08,099 It's Chandra's birthday. We're doing a thing. 613 00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:10,335 [GASPS] It's her birthday? 614 00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:12,437 Oh, wait, I have a question for you. 615 00:26:12,437 --> 00:26:15,040 -Mm-hmm. -Like, where was Chandra... 616 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,776 when I was putting you through art school? 617 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:19,144 Oh, my God! That's right! 618 00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:20,245 Here comes the flood. 619 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,279 -Oh, my God! -Here it is. 620 00:26:21,279 --> 00:26:23,181 -She was in kindergarten. Yay! -We are doing this. 621 00:26:23,181 --> 00:26:25,650 Well, guess what, Eva, I could never keep up with you, 622 00:26:25,650 --> 00:26:27,519 'cause all you ever cared about was money. 623 00:26:27,519 --> 00:26:29,020 You're a fucking liar, 624 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:30,689 because I don't care about money. 625 00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:33,592 I put you through art school. You're just like... What? 626 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,493 What do you even do for a living? 627 00:26:35,493 --> 00:26:36,461 You drive a douchebag car. 628 00:26:36,461 --> 00:26:38,730 I wanted a much douchier car than that. 629 00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:40,131 That was the one we could afford. 630 00:26:40,131 --> 00:26:42,133 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. 631 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:44,035 I don't like you right now. 632 00:26:44,035 --> 00:26:45,470 I love you... 633 00:26:45,470 --> 00:26:48,106 somewhat. But right now... 634 00:26:48,373 --> 00:26:50,308 I don't think you would like you, either, 635 00:26:50,308 --> 00:26:52,277 'cause you're being horrible... 636 00:26:52,344 --> 00:26:53,878 and you look... 637 00:26:54,212 --> 00:26:54,879 horrible. 638 00:26:54,879 --> 00:26:58,416 [SOBBING] I just wanted to have a baby! 639 00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:00,251 Okay. Come here. 640 00:27:01,086 --> 00:27:03,254 Come here. Come here. 641 00:27:03,254 --> 00:27:04,389 -Hi. Hi. -Don't, don't, don't. 642 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:06,858 No, don't make it a thing. Don't make it a thing. 643 00:27:06,858 --> 00:27:09,260 Oh, my God, you smell so weird. 644 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:10,862 -You smell so good. -No, just don't. 645 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,332 Don't humiliate yourself anymore than you have, okay? 646 00:27:14,332 --> 00:27:15,200 You smell like... 647 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,836 -I don't know, like, lavender-- -Okay. Just stop. Just stop. 648 00:27:17,836 --> 00:27:19,137 Don't embarrass yourself... 649 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,806 -anymore. -You don't embarrass yourself, 650 00:27:21,806 --> 00:27:23,508 buddy. You settle down. 651 00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:25,844 -What's happening down there? -Don't. Don't. 652 00:27:25,844 --> 00:27:27,979 -We're not. -[SIGHS] Okay. 653 00:27:29,147 --> 00:27:31,883 Brew up some coffee. Don't. Please. 654 00:27:31,883 --> 00:27:35,120 I care very deeply about you without loving you. 655 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,089 Throw up, go to sleep, take a shower. 656 00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:39,791 I already threw up. 657 00:27:41,526 --> 00:27:43,662 [SOBBING] I love you so much. 658 00:27:43,662 --> 00:27:46,131 Bye. Thank you for coming! 659 00:27:46,131 --> 00:27:49,200 [HONEY MOANING] 660 00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:56,541 The only reason a man and a woman 661 00:27:56,541 --> 00:27:59,310 should have carnal knowledge of each other... 662 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:00,979 is to create a child. 663 00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:02,514 [HONEY MOANING] 664 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,315 Any other physical union 665 00:28:04,315 --> 00:28:08,019 between a man and a woman... 666 00:28:08,086 --> 00:28:09,954 is a sin. 667 00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:13,091 [MOANING] 668 00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:15,160 And sins are punishable 669 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,862 by hellfire and damnation. 670 00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:18,730 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 671 00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:22,200 -You will go to hell! -HONEY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 672 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,836 I'm sorry. [MOANING] 673 00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:27,272 You all right? 674 00:28:28,673 --> 00:28:31,910 -Did I just say that out loud? -Yeah. 675 00:28:33,812 --> 00:28:34,512 It felt so good. 676 00:28:34,512 --> 00:28:37,348 It felt like I was doing something wrong. 677 00:28:37,415 --> 00:28:38,917 I'm fucked up. 678 00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:40,952 I don't think you're fucked up. 679 00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,455 -You don't? -No. 680 00:28:44,022 --> 00:28:46,091 I think you're divine. 681 00:28:47,325 --> 00:28:49,260 Divinity itself... 682 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,329 in a physical form. 683 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,032 -Really? -Yeah. 684 00:28:54,032 --> 00:28:56,768 [MUSIC PLAYING] 685 00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:12,350 I thought I knew what sex and orgasms were before, 686 00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:13,118 but I did not. 687 00:29:13,118 --> 00:29:15,553 I feel like I understand the meaning of life now, 688 00:29:15,553 --> 00:29:17,288 and the meaning of life is to have as much sex 689 00:29:17,288 --> 00:29:21,226 as possible with this guy over and over again. 690 00:29:21,226 --> 00:29:23,061 Oh! Great sex! 691 00:29:23,061 --> 00:29:24,596 Oh, it makes you do stupid things. 692 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:26,798 I feel like I tried to please the guy so much before 693 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:29,801 that I never, like, really got off. 694 00:29:30,301 --> 00:29:31,870 Darren would just... [SIGHS] 695 00:29:31,870 --> 00:29:34,939 jam it in there without a lot of warm-up. 696 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,508 And that was on the rare occasions 697 00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:38,910 that he could get it up. [SIGHS] 698 00:29:39,177 --> 00:29:39,878 This is your ex? 699 00:29:39,878 --> 00:29:41,412 You know what? People say they want to hear the truth, 700 00:29:41,412 --> 00:29:44,582 but they don't. They just want to be, like, "Oh, poor Eva. 701 00:29:44,582 --> 00:29:46,985 Did you hear Eva's husband cheated on her?" 702 00:29:46,985 --> 00:29:50,288 Here's the truth, I supported him financially 703 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:51,289 for 14 years. 704 00:29:51,289 --> 00:29:53,658 That emasculated him. Oh, poor guy. 705 00:29:53,658 --> 00:29:56,127 So then he got erectile dysfunction. "Oh, wah" 706 00:29:56,127 --> 00:29:58,296 So then he had to go fuck a 21-year-old, 707 00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:01,065 so he could feel like a man again! 708 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,536 He's not worthy of you, 'cause you're great. 709 00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:06,070 Yeah. 710 00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:07,572 Thank you. 711 00:30:07,572 --> 00:30:09,073 I feel like I have to do everything 712 00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:10,708 the guy says or he'll leave me. 713 00:30:10,708 --> 00:30:13,411 Like, I've been dating this guy for two years, 714 00:30:13,411 --> 00:30:15,880 pretending the entire time like I don't know 715 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,714 he's dating other girls. 716 00:30:16,714 --> 00:30:18,917 You need to ask him for what you want. Just say, 717 00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:20,084 "I only want you to see me." 718 00:30:20,084 --> 00:30:22,387 Or date other men and flaunt them in front of him. 719 00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:23,688 Yeah, but I only want him. 720 00:30:23,688 --> 00:30:24,789 God, why are we sitting around 721 00:30:24,789 --> 00:30:26,457 talking about how sad our lives are? 722 00:30:26,457 --> 00:30:27,559 Why do women do that? 723 00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,828 You know, you're right. We should be talking about 724 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:30,662 how great we are, 725 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:33,164 and if someone gives us a compliment, we should say, 726 00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:36,434 -"Thank you. It's true." -[LAUGHING] 727 00:30:36,434 --> 00:30:38,002 You start. 728 00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:38,603 What? 729 00:30:38,603 --> 00:30:40,505 -And give myself a compliment? -HONEY: Yeah. 730 00:30:40,505 --> 00:30:42,173 Yeah, just do it. 731 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,776 Okay. Um... 732 00:30:44,776 --> 00:30:47,011 I think I'm more attractive than I thought 733 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,214 'cause-- All right, well, there's this guy 734 00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:50,715 at the coffee cart on the beach. 735 00:30:50,715 --> 00:30:52,050 He asks me out all the time. 736 00:30:52,050 --> 00:30:54,986 He's super-attractive, and he's 28 737 00:30:54,986 --> 00:30:57,188 [SCREAMS] You should go for it. 738 00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,723 -No. -Yeah! 739 00:30:58,723 --> 00:31:02,861 Really? Move over. There's a new skank in town. 740 00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,295 [LAUGHING] 741 00:31:04,295 --> 00:31:05,330 I think I'm gonna tell my man 742 00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:07,665 that I'm not gonna do his laundry. 743 00:31:07,999 --> 00:31:08,800 So there! 744 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,269 'Cause I am super hot, and he should feel lucky 745 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:13,371 to tap that ass. So he better behave. 746 00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:14,973 Yeah. He should do your laundry. 747 00:31:14,973 --> 00:31:17,909 Yeah, you are so hot. Like, really hot. 748 00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:19,878 Thank you. It's true. 749 00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:22,647 Okay, your turn. 750 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,182 Okay. [SIGHS] 751 00:31:24,182 --> 00:31:25,483 I'm not a dirty slut. 752 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:29,120 Having sex with me is a religious experience. 753 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,455 Yeah, it is. 754 00:31:30,455 --> 00:31:34,459 -I want a new candle. -Oh, I brought the love candle. 755 00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:38,229 Honey. 756 00:31:38,229 --> 00:31:39,697 -Thank you. -Eva. 757 00:31:39,697 --> 00:31:41,266 So sweet. 758 00:31:41,266 --> 00:31:42,533 You know, we talk about pleasing men, 759 00:31:42,533 --> 00:31:45,370 but what about pleasing us? You know what we should say? 760 00:31:45,370 --> 00:31:47,405 "Get down there and lick it. 761 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:48,606 Lick it." 762 00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:50,041 -[LAUGHING] -Lick it. 763 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:53,378 Darren never licked it. I think I'm due. 764 00:31:53,478 --> 00:31:54,746 Lick it! 765 00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:56,314 I like it. 766 00:31:56,314 --> 00:31:57,715 Lick it. 767 00:31:58,016 --> 00:32:02,086 [MUSIC PLAYING] 768 00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:06,357 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 769 00:32:06,357 --> 00:32:08,393 I want to see Freedom again. 770 00:32:08,393 --> 00:32:11,596 I want love and hot sex. 771 00:32:12,230 --> 00:32:21,973 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 772 00:32:21,973 --> 00:32:22,807 [PHONE BEEPS] 773 00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:24,709 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 774 00:32:24,709 --> 00:32:27,278 [FOREIGN MUSIC PLAYING] 775 00:32:48,499 --> 00:32:50,735 I hope you don't think I'm easy. 776 00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:52,170 Why would I think you're easy? 777 00:32:52,170 --> 00:32:54,706 'Cause we had sex on the first date. 778 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:56,941 I think it's weird not to have sex 779 00:32:56,941 --> 00:32:58,609 on the first date. 780 00:32:58,977 --> 00:32:59,911 Really? 781 00:32:59,911 --> 00:33:03,414 Hey, do you want to go back to my place and get stoned? 782 00:33:03,414 --> 00:33:04,282 -Uh-huh. -Yeah? 783 00:33:04,282 --> 00:33:09,620 ♪ Sha-ba-lum ah-ooh ♪ 784 00:33:10,955 --> 00:33:12,523 One second. 785 00:33:22,066 --> 00:33:25,103 -Want a hit? -I don't really smoke. 786 00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:27,705 -Oh, come on. Just one. -Okay. 787 00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:29,340 [LAUGHING] 788 00:33:32,176 --> 00:33:34,712 -Yeah. -[COUGHING] 789 00:33:35,580 --> 00:33:37,148 You all right? 790 00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:37,949 [COUGHING] Yeah. 791 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:40,385 -You okay? -Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 792 00:33:43,488 --> 00:33:44,989 When we were together... 793 00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:47,859 could you feel that energy going back... 794 00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:49,894 and forth between our souls? 795 00:33:49,894 --> 00:33:52,430 -It felt amazing. -Yeah. Yeah. 796 00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:55,233 I don't think we even need to talk, yeah? 797 00:33:55,233 --> 00:33:56,300 Can't you just... 798 00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:59,370 -feel what I'm thinking? -Uh... 799 00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:03,574 I don't think so. 800 00:34:03,641 --> 00:34:05,643 I bet you can, yeah? 801 00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:11,416 Can you feel it now? 802 00:34:12,417 --> 00:34:16,020 -Couldn't you just tell me? -No, no, no. 803 00:34:22,493 --> 00:34:24,095 What about now? 804 00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:29,634 Now? 805 00:34:29,634 --> 00:34:32,570 I'm the most wonderful person you've ever met? 806 00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:36,240 [SIGHING] 807 00:34:37,141 --> 00:34:39,877 -[FREEDOM GROANING] -[HONEY MOANING] 808 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,247 [HONEY MOANING] 809 00:34:52,356 --> 00:34:54,392 [MUSIC PLAYING] 810 00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:08,272 ♪ All I could ever need Is you and I ♪ 811 00:35:18,015 --> 00:35:21,986 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 812 00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:25,456 ♪ All I could ever see ♪ 813 00:35:25,456 --> 00:35:28,759 ♪ All I could ever want ♪ 814 00:35:28,759 --> 00:35:35,633 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 815 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:42,206 ♪ Oh I choose ♪ 816 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:50,248 ♪ And all I could ever want ♪ 817 00:35:50,248 --> 00:35:56,854 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 818 00:35:57,121 --> 00:35:59,991 WOMAN: You have never done anything wrong. 819 00:36:00,091 --> 00:36:03,628 Sex is sacred and beautiful. 820 00:36:04,595 --> 00:36:10,234 ♪ All I could ever need Is you... ♪ 821 00:36:10,234 --> 00:36:14,438 What if all the sluts had mind-blowing orgasms? 822 00:36:14,438 --> 00:36:17,875 Only when they're empowered by their orgasms 823 00:36:17,875 --> 00:36:20,278 can they defeat the evil mutant. 824 00:36:21,312 --> 00:36:24,882 Empowered sluts. I like that. That's-- that's provocative. 825 00:36:24,882 --> 00:36:27,985 You think we can get that past the ratings board? 826 00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:30,388 Hey, guys, uh, 827 00:36:30,388 --> 00:36:32,423 sorry, I just downloaded this new app. 828 00:36:32,423 --> 00:36:34,659 It detects shitty movie ideas, 829 00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,495 and it literally led me right here. 830 00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:38,896 Anyway... 831 00:36:38,896 --> 00:36:41,265 let me know if you have any real movie ideas 832 00:36:41,265 --> 00:36:44,569 that we can turn into actual movies. 833 00:36:44,802 --> 00:36:47,038 Okay. Bye. 834 00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:53,077 Encouraging. 835 00:36:53,077 --> 00:36:54,412 Love that guy. 836 00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:56,514 Oh, I wanted to say, um, 837 00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:57,648 I-- I read your script, 838 00:36:57,648 --> 00:37:01,085 uh, about the Afghan woman who fights for the right 839 00:37:01,085 --> 00:37:03,521 to divorce her husband. That was strong. 840 00:37:03,521 --> 00:37:04,755 How did you get a copy of that? 841 00:37:04,755 --> 00:37:07,658 I got connects. You know what I'm saying? 842 00:37:07,658 --> 00:37:08,893 -Whoa. -Actually, 843 00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:11,162 Peter wanted me to, uh, write coverage. 844 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:13,130 Oh, I thought he read that one. 845 00:37:13,130 --> 00:37:14,665 Well, I don't know. He's a busy guy. 846 00:37:14,665 --> 00:37:18,069 But I really love the scene where Afshan says, um, 847 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:22,173 "This is my woman part to do with what I want." 848 00:37:22,173 --> 00:37:25,409 -[SIGHS] -That was pretty intense. 849 00:37:25,843 --> 00:37:28,946 -You really liked it? -Yeah, it was powerful. 850 00:37:33,117 --> 00:37:34,619 [PHONE BEEPS] 851 00:37:34,619 --> 00:37:36,287 [CHUCKLING] 852 00:37:46,230 --> 00:37:48,266 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 853 00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:01,279 I want love. 854 00:38:04,849 --> 00:38:07,351 [MUSIC PLAYING] 855 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:10,554 And so mote it be. 856 00:38:10,554 --> 00:38:12,323 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 857 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:14,825 ♪ Ah-ooh ♪ 858 00:38:15,860 --> 00:38:17,261 Oh, thank you, honey. 859 00:38:17,261 --> 00:38:20,631 Hi, um, I'll just take a regular coffee, please. Um, 860 00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:24,201 I'm just looking for this guy. I think he works here. 861 00:38:24,201 --> 00:38:26,671 I don't know his name, but he's 28. 862 00:38:26,671 --> 00:38:29,740 I know, 28. I know. I know. I know what you're thinking. 863 00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:31,275 Do you know who I'm talking about? 864 00:38:31,275 --> 00:38:32,710 -MAN: No. -No? 865 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:33,678 Eva? 866 00:38:33,678 --> 00:38:35,279 -Mark! -MARK: Hi! 867 00:38:35,279 --> 00:38:36,681 Oh, my God. 868 00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:39,116 Oh, it's been so long. How are you? 869 00:38:39,116 --> 00:38:41,786 Good. I'm okay. Yeah. 870 00:38:41,786 --> 00:38:42,853 How's Darren? 871 00:38:42,853 --> 00:38:45,923 We got a divorce. He didn't tell you? 872 00:38:45,923 --> 00:38:48,626 Uh, yeah, I... I heard. 873 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,961 -Sorry. -Yeah. 874 00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:53,798 Uh, Rebecca and I got divorced, too. 875 00:38:54,098 --> 00:38:55,399 I'm so sorry. 876 00:38:55,399 --> 00:38:57,968 No, actually, it's for the best. 877 00:38:58,035 --> 00:38:59,837 Plus we have two beautiful daughters, 878 00:38:59,837 --> 00:39:02,573 five and ten, so no regrets. 879 00:39:03,274 --> 00:39:05,009 [MUSIC PLAYING] 880 00:39:05,009 --> 00:39:06,544 -Don't you want to get a coffee? -Uh, 881 00:39:06,544 --> 00:39:09,213 yeah, yeah. That's what I'm here for. 882 00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:10,114 [CHUCKLES 883 00:39:10,114 --> 00:39:13,217 -What are you doing right now? -Uh... 884 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:14,452 nothing. 885 00:39:14,452 --> 00:39:17,221 You want to go for a walk, catch up a little? 886 00:39:17,221 --> 00:39:19,457 Yeah, I'd really like that. 887 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:21,659 I was making dresses in my kitchen, 888 00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:24,595 and then just, boom! You know? 889 00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:26,230 That's amazing. 890 00:39:28,232 --> 00:39:30,501 I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. Uh... 891 00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:34,171 -I feel like such a failure. -Oh, don't say that. 892 00:39:34,171 --> 00:39:35,840 I just wish we would've had kids, 893 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,109 you know, like you guys, but we were 894 00:39:38,109 --> 00:39:39,810 never on the same page with that. 895 00:39:39,810 --> 00:39:42,880 Eva, you are in no way a failure. 896 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:47,084 You're a huge, huge success in every way. 897 00:39:49,787 --> 00:39:51,422 Wow. 898 00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:55,092 Stunning. 899 00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:57,962 Thank you. It's true. 900 00:39:59,196 --> 00:40:02,099 "Thank you. It's true." I like that. 901 00:40:03,934 --> 00:40:06,203 Did you know I left the law firm? 902 00:40:06,203 --> 00:40:07,204 No. 903 00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:09,206 Yeah, you know, grew the hair out, 904 00:40:09,206 --> 00:40:10,975 stopped shaving... 905 00:40:11,275 --> 00:40:12,910 opened a restaurant. 906 00:40:12,910 --> 00:40:14,345 No way! 907 00:40:14,345 --> 00:40:16,347 Yeah. You always told me I should. 908 00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:17,915 Remember that night I made the panna cotta 909 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,817 -with the aged balsamico? -Yes. 910 00:40:19,817 --> 00:40:22,820 I had, like, a food orgasm over that dessert. 911 00:40:22,820 --> 00:40:24,555 [CHUCKLES] Yes, you did. 912 00:40:25,556 --> 00:40:27,191 [CHUCKLING] 913 00:40:27,391 --> 00:40:29,193 Congratulations. 914 00:40:29,493 --> 00:40:30,895 You're amazing. 915 00:40:30,895 --> 00:40:32,430 Thank you. 916 00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,131 It's true. 917 00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:36,200 [SCOFFS] 918 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,203 I feel a little lost in my life. 919 00:40:39,970 --> 00:40:41,872 -You know? -Okay. 920 00:40:41,872 --> 00:40:43,240 I don't know, like, 921 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:44,175 why am I a success? 922 00:40:44,175 --> 00:40:46,977 I mean, is it because I make dresses? 923 00:40:48,179 --> 00:40:49,013 Um... 924 00:40:49,013 --> 00:40:51,482 yeah, I suppose everybody would say that, 925 00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:53,984 but, uh, personally? 926 00:40:56,253 --> 00:40:59,123 You're just good to be around. 927 00:40:59,623 --> 00:41:02,793 I'm always happy when I'm near you. 928 00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:06,597 That is crazy-sweet. 929 00:41:07,631 --> 00:41:10,167 And you are crazy-beautiful. 930 00:41:10,568 --> 00:41:12,236 [CHUCKLES] Oh, wait. 931 00:41:12,236 --> 00:41:14,705 Oh, my God! What-- what? 932 00:41:18,843 --> 00:41:21,579 I've had a crush on you for 14 years. 933 00:41:21,579 --> 00:41:24,582 Really? Why? [CHUCKLES] 934 00:41:24,849 --> 00:41:27,084 Wait, wait, wait. 935 00:41:27,084 --> 00:41:27,785 What-- what, uh, 936 00:41:27,785 --> 00:41:29,987 what are we do-- what are we doing? Because I-- 937 00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,355 I haven't been with anyone 938 00:41:31,355 --> 00:41:32,690 -since my husband-- -Shh. 939 00:41:32,690 --> 00:41:36,026 Um-- I would like to keep my clothes on. 940 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,928 If you just-- 941 00:41:37,928 --> 00:41:39,763 Uh... God, you're-- 942 00:41:39,763 --> 00:41:41,165 Um-- Oh, my God! Wait! 943 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:44,635 Wait a second! That's-- Oh, my God! [CHUCKLES] 944 00:41:44,635 --> 00:41:47,404 Oh, my God! You're so good at this! 945 00:41:47,404 --> 00:41:49,039 I've wanted to do this since I met you. 946 00:41:49,039 --> 00:41:51,375 That's what you were thinking the whole time... 947 00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:54,144 when we met at Walmart? Are you kidding me? 948 00:41:54,144 --> 00:41:55,613 -Mm. -That's kind of weird. 949 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,782 Thank you for telling me, 'cause I was, like, thinking, 950 00:41:58,782 --> 00:42:00,985 "Oh, nice guy at Walmart. 951 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:04,021 He-- he buys, like, stuff in bulk. I get it." 952 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:07,324 Oh. Uh... Oh, my God. Oh, God. 953 00:42:07,324 --> 00:42:09,393 Oh, God. And I then was, like, 954 00:42:09,393 --> 00:42:10,628 "Hey, you drive a Prius. 955 00:42:10,628 --> 00:42:13,330 And that's cool. You know, cool person." 956 00:42:13,330 --> 00:42:14,131 Hey, what-- what-- 957 00:42:14,131 --> 00:42:17,434 Just slow down on that bottom part. Oh, my God. 958 00:42:17,434 --> 00:42:18,669 Shut up. I'm gonna stop talking now. 959 00:42:18,669 --> 00:42:23,007 I'm not gonna talk anymore. I'm not gonna talk anymore. 960 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,242 [MOANING] 961 00:42:25,242 --> 00:42:26,877 You're, like, really good at this. 962 00:42:26,877 --> 00:42:29,046 Oh, God. Wait, I didn't groom. I didn't groom! 963 00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:31,181 Ah! Okay, okay, no, actually, I'm okay with that. 964 00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:34,351 I'm okay with it. Never mind. Don't listen to me. Don't stop. 965 00:42:34,351 --> 00:42:36,720 Don't stop. [GIGGLING] 966 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,490 [MOANING] 967 00:42:40,090 --> 00:42:42,226 [MUSIC PLAYING] 968 00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:44,728 I want love. 969 00:42:48,499 --> 00:42:51,936 [MUSIC PLAYING] 970 00:42:53,637 --> 00:42:54,772 Babe? 971 00:42:54,772 --> 00:42:57,474 Do you have, uh, that bag? I'm doing that lecture 972 00:42:57,474 --> 00:43:00,277 on techno-social wormholes downtown, and they're, uh-- 973 00:43:00,277 --> 00:43:02,479 they're gonna put it on YouTube. 974 00:43:02,479 --> 00:43:04,248 Isn't that great? 975 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:08,118 I didn't have time to do your laundry. 976 00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:09,653 And... 977 00:43:11,155 --> 00:43:14,658 if you want to be with me, you can't date anybody else. 978 00:43:15,392 --> 00:43:17,361 Have you noticed that I'm great? 979 00:43:17,361 --> 00:43:18,729 'Cause you don't treat me that way. 980 00:43:18,729 --> 00:43:21,498 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's all this coming from? 981 00:43:21,498 --> 00:43:22,533 It's coming from me. 982 00:43:22,533 --> 00:43:26,203 But you were fine with everything a few days ago. 983 00:43:26,537 --> 00:43:28,005 I take care of you. 984 00:43:28,005 --> 00:43:29,540 When are you gonna take care of me? 985 00:43:29,540 --> 00:43:32,543 Relationships are hard for me. My parents got divorced. 986 00:43:32,543 --> 00:43:33,477 Oh, God! Stop it! 987 00:43:33,477 --> 00:43:36,814 Stop using that as an excuse for everything! 988 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:39,950 My family was fucked up, too! Let it go! 989 00:43:40,150 --> 00:43:43,921 I don't really like your tone of voice right now, honestly. 990 00:43:43,921 --> 00:43:45,856 You need to figure that out. 991 00:43:45,856 --> 00:43:49,627 Uh, well, those don't look very clean to me. 992 00:43:50,327 --> 00:43:51,762 No. 993 00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:54,031 They're very dirty. 994 00:43:54,264 --> 00:43:56,266 -What? -Yeah. 995 00:43:56,734 --> 00:43:57,768 Extremely dirty. 996 00:43:57,768 --> 00:44:00,204 -And smelly! -Babe, seriously? 997 00:44:00,204 --> 00:44:01,271 [GRUNTS] You know, you're gonna-- 998 00:44:01,271 --> 00:44:02,706 you're gonna regret this tomorrow. 999 00:44:02,706 --> 00:44:05,476 And-- and when you do, you can call me, okay? 1000 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:10,147 When you are ready to treat me like the amazing person I am, 1001 00:44:10,147 --> 00:44:13,317 you call me! I won't be calling you. 1002 00:44:14,284 --> 00:44:15,786 Take that! 1003 00:44:15,786 --> 00:44:18,188 I was gonna wear this. I was gonna wear this. 1004 00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:21,558 Now it's even more dirty. It's more dirty now. 1005 00:44:21,558 --> 00:44:23,193 Pussy! 1006 00:44:24,561 --> 00:44:26,530 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1007 00:44:26,530 --> 00:44:29,967 And, uh, where am I gonna clean these? 1008 00:44:30,567 --> 00:44:32,269 Do you have a place? 1009 00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:36,006 Okay, you know what? Thank you. Thank you. That's great. 1010 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:37,508 Okay, we'll-- we'll talk. 1011 00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,610 The guy shows her the beauty of her own soul 1012 00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:43,313 through sexuality, and then she defeats the killer. 1013 00:44:43,313 --> 00:44:44,615 -[SIGHS] -Hmm. Well, I'm not sure 1014 00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:46,283 how to fit that into a teenage slasher film, 1015 00:44:46,283 --> 00:44:49,853 but I like the challenge. I'm gonna get cracking on it. 1016 00:44:50,054 --> 00:44:52,256 PETER: Don't shoot the dinosaur. He's on your side. 1017 00:44:52,256 --> 00:44:53,090 What are you guys doing? 1018 00:44:53,090 --> 00:44:54,892 We're working on a video game based on the film. 1019 00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:57,861 Yeah, it's really gonna boost our profits on this one. 1020 00:44:57,861 --> 00:45:00,764 Peter came up with it all by himself. 1021 00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:03,133 The goal of the game is to build up your empire... 1022 00:45:03,133 --> 00:45:05,035 -This is my idea. -...and kill as many sluts 1023 00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:06,570 and douchebags that get in your way. 1024 00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:07,371 That's is my idea. 1025 00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:08,539 Once you reach the higher levels, 1026 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:09,807 -you'll meet a virgin... -This is my idea. 1027 00:45:09,807 --> 00:45:11,442 -...with special powers. -My idea. My idea. 1028 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:13,043 Every time you see a slut, 1029 00:45:13,043 --> 00:45:14,445 -you can kill her... -That's my idea. 1030 00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:15,579 -...and get the points. -My idea. 1031 00:45:15,579 --> 00:45:18,082 Sometimes I like to shoot her in the boobs or crotch area. 1032 00:45:18,082 --> 00:45:20,050 -[LAUGHING] -The last one was his idea. 1033 00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:25,189 -[SCREAMS] -Boom! That slut went down! 1034 00:45:26,323 --> 00:45:28,325 -So what do you think? -[MAN LAUGHING IN GAME] 1035 00:45:28,325 --> 00:45:29,460 I think it's really disturbing 1036 00:45:29,460 --> 00:45:31,929 and it makes me want to, like, vomit in my mouth. 1037 00:45:31,929 --> 00:45:33,997 Hey, man, I need you to go through the video game 1038 00:45:33,997 --> 00:45:35,232 and make sure that all of the girls, 1039 00:45:35,232 --> 00:45:36,967 under their shirts, you can see their erect nipples. 1040 00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:39,670 -I need you to do that for me. -Great idea! 1041 00:45:39,670 --> 00:45:40,337 So smart. 1042 00:45:40,337 --> 00:45:42,339 Look, The script that John and I are writing 1043 00:45:42,339 --> 00:45:43,540 is a totally different story. 1044 00:45:43,540 --> 00:45:45,275 Yeah, I know, and thank God it's a different story, 1045 00:45:45,275 --> 00:45:48,679 because your script sucked shit, and this video game 1046 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:49,646 is going to sell like Molly 1047 00:45:49,646 --> 00:45:52,015 to a girl that doesn't talk to her parents that much, okay? 1048 00:45:52,015 --> 00:45:53,550 I need you to be on nipple supervision, all right? 1049 00:45:53,550 --> 00:45:55,352 You got to go through the video game and make sure 1050 00:45:55,352 --> 00:45:57,387 that every girl's nipples are erect, okay? 1051 00:45:57,387 --> 00:45:58,989 We're gonna go for the only demographic 1052 00:45:58,989 --> 00:46:00,624 that matters, and that's teenage boys. 1053 00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:02,493 Well, that's ridiculous because John and I 1054 00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:03,861 are writing a great script. 1055 00:46:03,861 --> 00:46:05,662 I'm sorry. That app is going off that I downloaded. 1056 00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:07,564 It keeps going off when people say stupid shit. 1057 00:46:07,564 --> 00:46:08,899 Uh, let me fix this. Turn it off. 1058 00:46:08,899 --> 00:46:12,703 [CLEARS THROAT] You want to know what men really get off on? 1059 00:46:12,703 --> 00:46:13,804 No. 1060 00:46:13,804 --> 00:46:14,905 The conquest, okay? 1061 00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:16,940 Look, I'm a hunter. We're hunters. We're men. 1062 00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:20,410 I'm a man. I'm a hunter, okay? I hunted you. I got you. 1063 00:46:20,410 --> 00:46:21,912 I found you. I kept you for a little bit, 1064 00:46:21,912 --> 00:46:24,715 and then I got bored, and then you left and now I'm-- 1065 00:46:24,715 --> 00:46:27,751 I'm attracted to you again, you know? That's what works. 1066 00:46:27,751 --> 00:46:28,819 The plan worked, okay? 1067 00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:32,022 So let's just go have sex in my office. 1068 00:46:32,022 --> 00:46:33,457 No. 1069 00:46:33,824 --> 00:46:35,726 Everything you have is... 1070 00:46:36,660 --> 00:46:40,030 Turn your fucking head. What's your... What's your name? 1071 00:46:40,030 --> 00:46:40,697 Demarcus. 1072 00:46:40,697 --> 00:46:41,932 You're the whitest guy in the world, 1073 00:46:41,932 --> 00:46:46,270 and his name's fucking Demarcus. Hey, I'm DeShawn. 1074 00:46:46,570 --> 00:46:47,137 Anyway, 1075 00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:51,441 every-- everything you have is because of me. 1076 00:46:51,441 --> 00:46:53,477 But I want to be a writer. 1077 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:54,711 Can you just make sure you supervise 1078 00:46:54,711 --> 00:46:56,713 all the nipples, please? That's what I need from you. 1079 00:46:56,713 --> 00:47:00,117 That is, if you want to get a paycheck, big boobs. 1080 00:47:03,754 --> 00:47:04,488 [SIGHS] 1081 00:47:04,488 --> 00:47:07,457 "I want to be a writer." [MUMBLING] 1082 00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:11,428 Mark was down there for so long. 1083 00:47:11,428 --> 00:47:13,330 I wonder what he was thinking about. 1084 00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:16,133 -He was thinking: Yum, yum! -[LAUGHING] 1085 00:47:16,133 --> 00:47:18,001 I feel like guys who won't go down on you 1086 00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:18,902 aren't hetero enough. 1087 00:47:18,902 --> 00:47:20,838 I mean, what would they rather be doing, 1088 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,472 sucking a cock? 1089 00:47:22,539 --> 00:47:23,373 This guy sounds amazing. 1090 00:47:23,373 --> 00:47:24,908 You can totally tell the difference between a guy 1091 00:47:24,908 --> 00:47:26,610 who's into it and a guy who's not. 1092 00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:28,779 I didn't even know that I liked it that much, 1093 00:47:28,779 --> 00:47:32,182 but I haven't had sex with a lot of people. 1094 00:47:32,382 --> 00:47:33,350 It's good if a guy's good at it. 1095 00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:36,787 Otherwise, it's like sandpaper rubbing against your clitoris 1096 00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:38,755 while you lay in a pool of saliva. 1097 00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:40,057 -Ah! -Oh! 1098 00:47:40,057 --> 00:47:41,625 Well, this guy was great at it. 1099 00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:43,727 I think he could write an instruction manual 1100 00:47:43,727 --> 00:47:45,062 -on tonguemanship. -Wow! 1101 00:47:45,062 --> 00:47:47,965 -Did you have sex? -I had great sex. 1102 00:47:47,965 --> 00:47:49,933 -I had the best sex of my life. -[BOTH GASP] 1103 00:47:49,933 --> 00:47:52,369 You guys both had great sex and I got nothing. 1104 00:47:52,369 --> 00:47:53,303 Are you going out again? 1105 00:47:53,303 --> 00:47:54,872 I don't know. What's the point? 1106 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:57,007 -Getting head! -The best sex of your life. 1107 00:47:57,007 --> 00:47:59,343 I can't. I just look better with clothes on. 1108 00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:01,278 I don't want him to see me naked. 1109 00:48:01,278 --> 00:48:03,013 But you let him lick your naked vagina. 1110 00:48:03,013 --> 00:48:05,082 I know, but that was just one tiny section 1111 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:07,918 down there. And-- and I had clothes on. 1112 00:48:07,918 --> 00:48:09,853 Plus, I work with models all day at work, 1113 00:48:09,853 --> 00:48:11,121 and they're in such great shape. 1114 00:48:11,121 --> 00:48:13,624 Just-- I look like crap compared to them. 1115 00:48:13,624 --> 00:48:15,025 You are hot! 1116 00:48:15,492 --> 00:48:16,593 I don't know. 1117 00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:18,228 Maybe he's too nice. 1118 00:48:18,228 --> 00:48:20,130 I'd take nice over mean any day. 1119 00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:22,766 Yeah, or commitment-phobic. 1120 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,236 Let's make a pact to be with good guys only. 1121 00:48:26,236 --> 00:48:29,439 Guys who treat us great, like we deserve. 1122 00:48:29,539 --> 00:48:31,575 Yeah, good-guy pact. 1123 00:48:31,975 --> 00:48:33,543 Mark is so handsome. 1124 00:48:33,543 --> 00:48:35,445 There must be something wrong with him. 1125 00:48:35,445 --> 00:48:37,381 Or maybe I just don't know how to be with someone 1126 00:48:37,381 --> 00:48:40,117 who's so sexually giving, which means I like jerks, 1127 00:48:40,117 --> 00:48:42,786 which also means I can't be in the good-guy pact. 1128 00:48:42,786 --> 00:48:45,088 I'm gonna light a candle for you and Mark. 1129 00:48:45,088 --> 00:48:46,957 Me, too. Okay. 1130 00:48:46,957 --> 00:48:48,492 -Don't forget the pact. -[SIGHS] 1131 00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:49,326 Good guys only. 1132 00:48:49,326 --> 00:48:51,361 -Good guys only. -Good guys only. 1133 00:48:51,361 --> 00:48:53,063 -Maybe sometimes a jerk? -No. 1134 00:48:53,063 --> 00:48:54,898 -No. -No? Jerk sex? 1135 00:48:54,898 --> 00:48:57,034 -No jerk sex. -Aw. 1136 00:49:00,938 --> 00:49:04,441 -[PHONE RINGING] -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1137 00:49:07,177 --> 00:49:07,978 Oh, hey. 1138 00:49:07,978 --> 00:49:10,647 Um, thank you for sending me your script, 1139 00:49:10,647 --> 00:49:13,917 The Red Flow. I-- I thought it was hilarious. 1140 00:49:13,917 --> 00:49:15,953 -You read it? -I loved it. 1141 00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:16,954 Yeah, but will it ever be made? 1142 00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:19,923 A movie about a girl getting her period. 1143 00:49:20,357 --> 00:49:21,191 Why not? 1144 00:49:21,191 --> 00:49:23,226 You know, I really want to write a script 1145 00:49:23,226 --> 00:49:24,394 about my new friends. They're, like, 1146 00:49:24,394 --> 00:49:27,164 these modern-day witches. They're really inspiring. 1147 00:49:27,164 --> 00:49:29,466 Yes, witches, girl power. 1148 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,301 Do it. 1149 00:49:31,935 --> 00:49:33,103 Have you heard about this video game 1150 00:49:33,103 --> 00:49:35,205 that Peter is doing? It is so vile. 1151 00:49:35,205 --> 00:49:36,306 Yeah, I heard about it. 1152 00:49:36,306 --> 00:49:37,808 I wish I could destroy the computers 1153 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,645 or make my own video game called Sluts Fight Back. 1154 00:49:41,645 --> 00:49:44,348 [CHUCKLES] I love that. "Sluts Fight Back." 1155 00:49:44,348 --> 00:49:45,983 If I was technological, I'd just put a virus 1156 00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:48,852 in the whole system and I would shut it down. 1157 00:49:48,852 --> 00:49:50,320 Well... 1158 00:49:51,688 --> 00:49:54,091 well, it's funny that you say that, 1159 00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:56,593 'cause I happen to be technological. 1160 00:49:56,593 --> 00:49:59,763 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1161 00:50:09,272 --> 00:50:10,607 What are you doing? 1162 00:50:10,607 --> 00:50:13,443 -[TYPING] -Technological stuff. 1163 00:50:13,443 --> 00:50:15,779 [SIGHS] We could be fired. 1164 00:50:15,779 --> 00:50:18,115 Not if no one finds out. 1165 00:50:18,115 --> 00:50:21,084 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1166 00:50:26,690 --> 00:50:28,492 [LAUGHING] 1167 00:50:28,492 --> 00:50:31,028 God. [SIGHS] 1168 00:50:31,028 --> 00:50:32,162 -You're a genius. -Yeah, 1169 00:50:32,162 --> 00:50:33,630 you know what? I am a freaking genius. 1170 00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,732 -That was awesome. -[SIGHS] 1171 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,868 It was so awesome. 1172 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:39,936 What are you doing now? You wanna-- you wanna 1173 00:50:39,936 --> 00:50:43,073 -grab something to eat? -Oh, I have plans. 1174 00:50:43,140 --> 00:50:44,441 This may or may not change your mind, 1175 00:50:44,441 --> 00:50:47,911 but aside from being a genius and a technological wizard, 1176 00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,147 I am also, um... 1177 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:51,581 a really great rapper. 1178 00:50:51,581 --> 00:50:53,450 -Really? -Yeah, I'd love to show you 1179 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:54,885 some of my hip-hop stuff. 1180 00:50:54,885 --> 00:50:56,753 -Okay. -You ready for this? 1181 00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:57,821 -Yeah. -You sure? 1182 00:50:57,821 --> 00:50:59,756 -Uh, I think so. -Mm-hmm. 1183 00:51:00,023 --> 00:51:01,425 Um... 1184 00:51:01,525 --> 00:51:03,660 ♪ You so ambitious ♪ 1185 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,329 ♪ Your soul is sweet And superstitious ♪ 1186 00:51:06,329 --> 00:51:09,399 ♪ Your eyes your lip Your heart ♪ 1187 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,071 ♪ They're breakin' records And the dishes ♪ 1188 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,339 ♪ Mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1189 00:51:16,339 --> 00:51:19,176 ♪ Mm-mm-mm Chicka-chicka ♪ 1190 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:20,877 ♪ Mm-mm mm-mm ♪ 1191 00:51:20,877 --> 00:51:22,846 This goes on for, like, four minutes. 1192 00:51:22,846 --> 00:51:23,980 [CHUCKLES] Wow. 1193 00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:26,149 -Don't give up your day job. -[LAUGHING] Come on! 1194 00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,452 -No, it was great. I loved it. -I just wanted to do it. 1195 00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:29,686 -That was brave. -I had an instinct. 1196 00:51:29,686 --> 00:51:32,355 Yeah, anyway, you got the technology smarts. 1197 00:51:32,355 --> 00:51:33,557 -Thanks, yo. -Word to your mother. 1198 00:51:33,557 --> 00:51:35,759 Word to your mother. Tell your mother I said word. 1199 00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:38,195 -[CHUCKLES] See you Monday. -Bye. 1200 00:51:38,195 --> 00:51:41,598 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1201 00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,471 HONEY: Thanks for giving me this dress. 1202 00:51:47,471 --> 00:51:48,338 CANDY: Ditto. 1203 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,073 Oh, God. Okay, okay, I don't know. 1204 00:51:50,073 --> 00:51:51,141 Maybe we shouldn't go. 1205 00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:52,776 -How do I look? -CANDY: You look hot! 1206 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:54,311 You look so hot I want to have sex with you. 1207 00:51:54,311 --> 00:51:57,514 EVA: Okay, no, I just-- Oh! Would you guys stop it? 1208 00:51:57,514 --> 00:51:58,748 -Stop it! -I really wanna 1209 00:51:58,748 --> 00:52:00,283 -have sex with you. -Oh, my God, 1210 00:52:00,283 --> 00:52:01,351 you guys are weird. 1211 00:52:01,351 --> 00:52:04,421 Okay, come on. I can't do this alone. Come on. 1212 00:52:04,421 --> 00:52:06,623 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING] 1213 00:52:06,623 --> 00:52:08,091 -WOMAN: Great show. -[INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1214 00:52:08,091 --> 00:52:10,227 HONEY: Does Darren have a daughter? 1215 00:52:10,227 --> 00:52:12,662 No, that's his new girlfriend. 1216 00:52:12,662 --> 00:52:14,865 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 1217 00:52:15,732 --> 00:52:17,167 Oh. 1218 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:20,070 Oh! 1219 00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:22,572 Holy shit! 1220 00:52:22,572 --> 00:52:26,376 -HONEY: Is that you? -EVA: Holy shit! 1221 00:52:26,576 --> 00:52:28,145 Is that me? 1222 00:52:28,211 --> 00:52:29,379 Oh, my God. 1223 00:52:29,379 --> 00:52:34,217 Not entirely accurate, okay? It's not 1984 down there. 1224 00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:36,586 Oh, I prefer a full bush. 1225 00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:37,654 -Really? -Mm-hmm. 1226 00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:40,624 -Hey. Hi. -Hi! 1227 00:52:40,757 --> 00:52:41,558 Oh. 1228 00:52:41,558 --> 00:52:44,027 -I'm so glad you made it. -Congratulations. 1229 00:52:44,027 --> 00:52:46,429 Thanks. Thanks. Everybody's here. 1230 00:52:46,429 --> 00:52:47,831 -Times is here. -Oh. 1231 00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,399 L.A. Weekly. Yeah. 1232 00:52:49,399 --> 00:52:50,867 -Wow, well. -Yeah. 1233 00:52:50,867 --> 00:52:53,270 Your new art is really amazing, 1234 00:52:53,270 --> 00:52:55,939 -and interesting. -I know. I know. 1235 00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,141 EVA: There's-- there's a lot happening... 1236 00:52:58,141 --> 00:53:00,343 -It's powerful stuff. -...with all of it. 1237 00:53:00,343 --> 00:53:02,946 I didn't get your smile exactly right, But, 1238 00:53:02,946 --> 00:53:05,348 -eh, it's still great. -[CHUCKLES] 1239 00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:08,051 Hey. Let's have dinner on Saturday, huh? 1240 00:53:08,051 --> 00:53:09,186 -Really? -Yeah. 1241 00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:10,253 -Okay. -Great. 1242 00:53:10,253 --> 00:53:11,621 -Great. -Cool. Text you. 1243 00:53:11,621 --> 00:53:12,756 -Okay. -Okay. 1244 00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:14,424 Yeah, I got to go talk to some people. 1245 00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:16,660 Oh, okay, sure. You're busy. 1246 00:53:16,660 --> 00:53:19,062 Why is he wearing that weird hat? 1247 00:53:21,131 --> 00:53:22,299 I don't know. 1248 00:53:22,299 --> 00:53:26,670 [JAZZ PLAYING] 1249 00:53:31,308 --> 00:53:33,009 Somebody fucked with our system! 1250 00:53:33,009 --> 00:53:34,945 I can't get this image off the screen! 1251 00:53:34,945 --> 00:53:36,479 I thought we were on a closed network! 1252 00:53:36,479 --> 00:53:38,582 Someone hacked into the program! 1253 00:53:38,582 --> 00:53:39,950 Someone with a password! 1254 00:53:39,950 --> 00:53:43,353 Uh, Peter, not to point fingers or anything... 1255 00:53:43,353 --> 00:53:45,355 Yeah, okay, look, I'm way ahead of you. 1256 00:53:45,355 --> 00:53:46,890 You're not a fucking detective, all right? 1257 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,858 -Did you do this? -I can't even figure out 1258 00:53:48,858 --> 00:53:50,160 how to download the software updates 1259 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:51,461 -on my computer. -That's true. 1260 00:53:51,461 --> 00:53:53,697 She can't fucking download the software updates 1261 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:54,397 on her computer. 1262 00:53:54,397 --> 00:53:56,032 -What's your name? Darrell? -Demarcus. 1263 00:53:56,032 --> 00:53:58,868 -Demarcus, you're fired, dude. -Come on, man! 1264 00:53:58,868 --> 00:54:00,870 You're fired, and I'm gonna get a new nerd 1265 00:54:00,870 --> 00:54:02,973 to make this system that you can't fuck with it. 1266 00:54:02,973 --> 00:54:04,941 Hey, you're the guy who has "password" 1267 00:54:04,941 --> 00:54:05,909 as his password, man. 1268 00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,211 Well, why don't you fucking broadcast it on Twitter, man? 1269 00:54:08,211 --> 00:54:09,879 You're not supposed to tell people my password. 1270 00:54:09,879 --> 00:54:12,249 -I have to change it. -I can do the password. 1271 00:54:12,249 --> 00:54:14,317 You don't need to do it. I'll do it. 1272 00:54:14,317 --> 00:54:16,453 I'm gonna change it. Shit! 1273 00:54:16,453 --> 00:54:18,188 Oh, come on, man. 1274 00:54:18,188 --> 00:54:19,689 That sucks. 1275 00:54:19,689 --> 00:54:21,391 See you guys later. 1276 00:54:29,799 --> 00:54:31,401 Babe? 1277 00:54:32,035 --> 00:54:35,171 You-- you haven't returned any of my calls. 1278 00:54:35,338 --> 00:54:37,941 I've been thinking about what you said. 1279 00:54:39,175 --> 00:54:41,077 Can you please let me in? 1280 00:54:41,344 --> 00:54:44,648 -I really need to talk to you. -What do you want? 1281 00:54:44,648 --> 00:54:46,983 Can you-- can you please let me in? 1282 00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,752 Tell me what you want. 1283 00:54:49,886 --> 00:54:51,321 Please? 1284 00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:53,823 [SIGHS] 1285 00:54:53,823 --> 00:54:55,825 Look, I-- I don't know. I-- 1286 00:54:55,825 --> 00:54:58,061 This is really hard for me to say. 1287 00:54:58,161 --> 00:54:59,896 What? 1288 00:55:00,363 --> 00:55:03,833 I really liked how you bossed me around. 1289 00:55:04,434 --> 00:55:07,304 You know, I didn't think I would, but... 1290 00:55:07,504 --> 00:55:08,972 it... 1291 00:55:09,105 --> 00:55:11,074 kind of turned me on. 1292 00:55:11,441 --> 00:55:12,642 Are you serious? 1293 00:55:12,642 --> 00:55:14,611 Yeah, is that really weird? 1294 00:55:15,111 --> 00:55:16,746 Yeah, kinda. 1295 00:55:17,580 --> 00:55:20,717 Can you... boss me around some more? 1296 00:55:23,853 --> 00:55:25,221 Really? 1297 00:55:25,355 --> 00:55:26,823 Yeah. 1298 00:55:30,593 --> 00:55:35,231 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1299 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:40,870 Give me ten minutes. 1300 00:55:54,884 --> 00:55:57,253 I want you to do my laundry! 1301 00:55:57,253 --> 00:55:58,688 Wow. 1302 00:55:59,055 --> 00:56:00,457 Now! 1303 00:56:01,524 --> 00:56:03,393 And clean my apartment! 1304 00:56:05,128 --> 00:56:07,197 And then I want you to lick it! 1305 00:56:07,897 --> 00:56:10,166 -All right. -Crawl! 1306 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:19,743 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1307 00:56:23,079 --> 00:56:24,180 MARK: Eva. 1308 00:56:24,180 --> 00:56:25,849 -Hey! -Hi. 1309 00:56:26,149 --> 00:56:28,618 -How are you? -I'm good. 1310 00:56:29,419 --> 00:56:31,087 Welcome to my restaurant. 1311 00:56:31,087 --> 00:56:32,522 This place is incredible. 1312 00:56:32,522 --> 00:56:35,625 -Thank you. It's true. -[CHUCKLES] 1313 00:56:35,992 --> 00:56:36,659 Um... 1314 00:56:36,659 --> 00:56:39,596 Rebecca got sick and couldn't find a sitter, 1315 00:56:39,596 --> 00:56:40,397 so... 1316 00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:43,500 I'd like to introduce you to my daughters. 1317 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,268 Mary, Melinda... 1318 00:56:45,268 --> 00:56:47,070 -this is Eva. -Hi. 1319 00:56:47,070 --> 00:56:51,241 -I like your outfit. -Thank you. I make dresses. 1320 00:56:51,408 --> 00:56:52,842 I like princess dresses. 1321 00:56:52,842 --> 00:56:54,377 I could make you a princess dress. 1322 00:56:54,377 --> 00:56:56,079 -Would you like that? -Yes! 1323 00:56:56,079 --> 00:56:57,113 Can I have a dress? 1324 00:56:57,113 --> 00:56:59,482 -Absolutely, sweetie. -Yes. 1325 00:56:59,482 --> 00:57:03,386 What if you guys come back to my house after dinner? 1326 00:57:03,386 --> 00:57:05,855 I have lots of dresses. We could play dress-up. 1327 00:57:05,855 --> 00:57:08,425 'Cause I kind of want to hang out with these princesses. 1328 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:10,093 They're pretty cool. 1329 00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:12,295 Mm! 1330 00:57:12,295 --> 00:57:13,863 I'm having... 1331 00:57:13,863 --> 00:57:15,198 a food orgasm right now. 1332 00:57:15,198 --> 00:57:17,033 -Oh, yeah? Good. -Oh, yeah. I am. 1333 00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:18,735 -[MARK CHUCKLES] -What's an orgasm? 1334 00:57:18,735 --> 00:57:22,605 -Oh, oops. I'm sorry. -Um, uh, it's, uh... 1335 00:57:22,739 --> 00:57:23,940 It's happiness. 1336 00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:26,009 -Hey. Right? -Yeah! 1337 00:57:26,009 --> 00:57:27,110 -Yeah. -How about some music? 1338 00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,812 -Mm-hmm. -You guys look beautiful! 1339 00:57:28,812 --> 00:57:30,079 Let's do a fashion show. 1340 00:57:30,079 --> 00:57:32,449 Oh, now that sounds like fun, right, girls? 1341 00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:33,483 -Yeah. -We're gonna have 1342 00:57:33,483 --> 00:57:35,618 a little catwalk. What do you say? 1343 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:38,021 -Yes! -[MUSIC PLAYING] 1344 00:57:38,755 --> 00:57:40,089 [MARK CHUCKLING] 1345 00:57:40,089 --> 00:57:41,791 Ready? Here we go. 1346 00:57:42,058 --> 00:57:44,794 ♪ Combination must be All right ♪ 1347 00:57:44,794 --> 00:57:46,529 [MARK LAUGHING] 1348 00:57:46,596 --> 00:57:48,164 [GIRLS GIGGLING] 1349 00:57:49,365 --> 00:57:52,602 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1350 00:57:52,769 --> 00:57:53,903 EVA: Go, big sister. 1351 00:57:53,903 --> 00:57:55,839 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1352 00:57:55,839 --> 00:57:58,741 Yay! Little miss. Go do your thing! 1353 00:57:58,741 --> 00:57:59,943 Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. 1354 00:57:59,943 --> 00:58:01,911 -MELINDA: Daddy, you got to go! -Yes, Daddy! 1355 00:58:01,911 --> 00:58:04,447 Oh, I don't think I need to do that, no. 1356 00:58:04,447 --> 00:58:05,281 Oh, I think you need to. 1357 00:58:05,281 --> 00:58:09,018 What is that? It looks like a violent shoulder move. 1358 00:58:09,018 --> 00:58:10,487 [ALL LAUGHING] 1359 00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:12,021 MARY: Yay! 1360 00:58:12,155 --> 00:58:15,425 -Yeah! -Yeah! 1361 00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:17,727 Let's go. Let's do it again. 1362 00:58:17,727 --> 00:58:20,763 Meow. Freestyle. I'm a kitty cat. 1363 00:58:20,763 --> 00:58:22,465 Oh! Meow! Meow! 1364 00:58:22,465 --> 00:58:23,800 I'm a kitty. Work, work, work! 1365 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:28,004 -♪ I feel it ♪ -♪ Oh, I feel it ♪ 1366 00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:31,941 -♪ Oh, I feel it ♪ -♪ I feel it ♪ 1367 00:58:31,941 --> 00:58:36,479 ♪ Oh, I feel love ♪ 1368 00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:39,682 Call me... 1369 00:58:40,116 --> 00:58:41,684 [SIGHS] 1370 00:58:46,489 --> 00:58:48,658 [CHEERING] 1371 00:58:48,658 --> 00:58:51,160 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1372 00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:54,931 -Hello? -Hi. It's me. 1373 00:58:54,931 --> 00:58:56,165 Hi. 1374 00:58:56,165 --> 00:58:57,200 Hey, what are you doing? 1375 00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,836 I'm just, uh, having a few people over, yeah? 1376 00:58:59,836 --> 00:59:01,437 Uh, you want to come by? 1377 00:59:01,437 --> 00:59:03,139 Feel the music! 1378 00:59:03,239 --> 00:59:03,840 Yeah. 1379 00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,576 -FREEDOM: Yeah, all right. -Okay, see you soon. 1380 00:59:06,576 --> 00:59:08,778 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1381 00:59:08,778 --> 00:59:11,347 [SNIFFING] 1382 00:59:11,414 --> 00:59:12,749 [SIGHS] 1383 00:59:18,488 --> 00:59:20,223 FREEDOM: Hey! [CHUCKLES] 1384 00:59:21,324 --> 00:59:24,260 -MAN: One for everybody! -FREEDOM: Oh! 1385 00:59:25,895 --> 00:59:27,397 You in for the next round? Yeah? 1386 00:59:27,397 --> 00:59:29,766 You-- I know you want one. 1387 00:59:29,766 --> 00:59:31,234 [SIGHS] 1388 00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,805 -HONEY: Mm. -FREEDOM: Mm-hmm. 1389 00:59:35,805 --> 00:59:37,907 Oh, it's so good to see you. 1390 00:59:37,907 --> 00:59:39,776 I'm so glad you called. [CHUCKLES] 1391 00:59:39,776 --> 00:59:41,077 -You want a bump? -Oh, I'm sorry. 1392 00:59:41,077 --> 00:59:44,247 I don't do drugs. I'm a lightweight. [CHUCKLES] 1393 00:59:44,247 --> 00:59:45,515 [SNIFFING] 1394 00:59:45,515 --> 00:59:48,051 -Do you want to dance, yeah? -HONEY: Sure. 1395 00:59:48,051 --> 00:59:49,752 Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 1396 00:59:50,820 --> 00:59:53,756 Hey. I took too much of this tonight. You want some? 1397 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,793 -Yeah, thank you. Yeah. -Yeah. Hey! 1398 00:59:56,793 --> 00:59:57,627 Mm. Try that? 1399 00:59:57,627 --> 00:59:59,762 -No, thanks. [CHUCKLES] -No? 1400 01:00:00,330 --> 01:00:02,799 Ugh! [CHUCKLES] 1401 01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:05,768 You know, I've been thinking about you a lot. 1402 01:00:05,768 --> 01:00:07,370 -You have? -Yeah. 1403 01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:08,638 Why haven't you called? 1404 01:00:08,638 --> 01:00:11,074 Well, look in my eyes. Tell me what I'm thinking. 1405 01:00:11,074 --> 01:00:13,543 [CHUCKLES] Um, I don't know. 1406 01:00:13,543 --> 01:00:15,645 No, no! [CHUCKLES] 1407 01:00:16,879 --> 01:00:19,315 Talk to me. How do you feel? 1408 01:00:20,483 --> 01:00:23,086 -I like you. -You do? 1409 01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:24,621 Yeah. 1410 01:00:24,887 --> 01:00:26,556 I love you. 1411 01:00:26,656 --> 01:00:27,624 [GASPS] 1412 01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:29,158 I love you, yeah? 1413 01:00:29,158 --> 01:00:31,861 Don't you know that? Can't you tell? 1414 01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:34,297 Sometimes I can't talk unless I'm wasted. 1415 01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:35,798 Yeah, I get scared. 1416 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:38,301 I'm gonna talk to you now, yeah? 1417 01:00:38,434 --> 01:00:39,969 I love you. 1418 01:00:40,737 --> 01:00:42,872 Oh, I love you. [CHUCKLES] 1419 01:00:42,872 --> 01:00:45,975 Do you see it in my eyes? Yeah, can you feel it? 1420 01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:49,245 I love you. 1421 01:00:49,245 --> 01:00:54,150 -[CHUCKLES] I love you. -I love you. Mm. Mm. 1422 01:00:56,219 --> 01:00:59,222 I love you! 1423 01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:01,224 -I love you! -I love-- 1424 01:01:01,224 --> 01:01:04,427 [HONEY MOANING] 1425 01:01:04,427 --> 01:01:07,263 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1426 01:01:08,798 --> 01:01:10,800 Oh, whoa. 1427 01:01:10,933 --> 01:01:13,503 My heart's beating really fast. 1428 01:01:14,303 --> 01:01:16,739 -Have you got a Valium? -No. 1429 01:01:16,739 --> 01:01:18,875 [PANTING] Xanax? 1430 01:01:19,876 --> 01:01:21,678 -NyQuil? -No. 1431 01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:22,812 [PANTING] 1432 01:01:22,812 --> 01:01:25,815 No, it's all right. I'll just talk to my heart, yeah? 1433 01:01:25,815 --> 01:01:28,351 I'll make it come down, yeah. [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1434 01:01:28,351 --> 01:01:29,752 Do you want me to turn the music off? 1435 01:01:29,752 --> 01:01:31,854 No, no, no, it's fine. No, I can... 1436 01:01:31,854 --> 01:01:33,990 I can do it. Yeah, I can make it. 1437 01:01:33,990 --> 01:01:35,825 Make it calm down. 1438 01:01:36,893 --> 01:01:40,396 -Do you want to have sex? -Whoa, whoa, whoa, babe, babe. 1439 01:01:40,396 --> 01:01:42,365 Sorry. That hurts, yeah? 1440 01:01:42,765 --> 01:01:45,501 Oh. [PANTING] 1441 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,970 I've never felt that way before... 1442 01:01:47,970 --> 01:01:50,606 -[PANTING] -the way you made me feel. 1443 01:01:50,606 --> 01:01:52,008 Sex is beautiful. 1444 01:01:52,008 --> 01:01:54,243 I didn't have to feel bad about it. 1445 01:01:54,243 --> 01:01:55,712 Okay. 1446 01:01:55,912 --> 01:01:58,314 I felt really good about myself. 1447 01:01:58,314 --> 01:01:59,949 No, that's great, babe, but... 1448 01:01:59,949 --> 01:02:02,819 I don't think I can have sex right now. 1449 01:02:02,819 --> 01:02:04,821 Oh, God, I hope I don't have to go 1450 01:02:04,821 --> 01:02:06,823 to the emergency room again. 1451 01:02:06,823 --> 01:02:08,524 Oh, my God! 1452 01:02:08,725 --> 01:02:10,793 CANDY: And then I made him lick it! 1453 01:02:10,793 --> 01:02:12,128 And he did the whole alphabet 1454 01:02:12,128 --> 01:02:14,197 for 45 minutes. I looked at the clock. 1455 01:02:14,197 --> 01:02:15,998 -What? -Oh, my God! 1456 01:02:15,998 --> 01:02:16,899 CANDY: I know! 1457 01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:19,135 And then I made him do my laundry. 1458 01:02:19,135 --> 01:02:20,770 Now I have the power. 1459 01:02:20,770 --> 01:02:23,673 Did you ask him if he's seeing the other girls? 1460 01:02:23,673 --> 01:02:27,176 Oh, God! No, I forgot! Ugh! 1461 01:02:27,176 --> 01:02:29,378 Well, maybe your power isn't very powerful, 1462 01:02:29,378 --> 01:02:30,213 because you got him off, 1463 01:02:30,213 --> 01:02:31,914 and you didn't get what you wanted. 1464 01:02:31,914 --> 01:02:33,716 CANDY: My power's very powerful. 1465 01:02:33,716 --> 01:02:35,818 Why don't you ask for what you want? 1466 01:02:35,818 --> 01:02:39,155 [SIGHS] I try to talk to him, but it's, like... 1467 01:02:41,090 --> 01:02:43,659 Ah! Nothing comes out. 1468 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:44,827 What is wrong with me? 1469 01:02:44,827 --> 01:02:48,431 I mean, I can talk to you guys, but I cannot talk to him. 1470 01:02:48,431 --> 01:02:50,633 It's like when I'm around him, I just... 1471 01:02:50,633 --> 01:02:53,069 He makes me so nervous that I'm not myself. 1472 01:02:53,069 --> 01:02:54,637 I'm like a unicorn. 1473 01:02:54,637 --> 01:02:56,606 Everyone knows you can't see a unicorn 1474 01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:58,508 unless you believe in them. 1475 01:02:58,508 --> 01:03:01,410 [SOBBING] It's like he can't see how... 1476 01:03:01,410 --> 01:03:03,546 magic I really am. 1477 01:03:03,546 --> 01:03:04,947 Oh! 1478 01:03:05,615 --> 01:03:08,484 Everyone can see it. It's super obvious. 1479 01:03:08,484 --> 01:03:10,286 Yeah. 1480 01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,591 What if I ask him for what I want... 1481 01:03:16,926 --> 01:03:18,761 and he leaves me? 1482 01:03:19,262 --> 01:03:20,263 You should try. 1483 01:03:20,263 --> 01:03:22,598 Sometimes I don't even know what I want. 1484 01:03:22,598 --> 01:03:25,635 I think you're being too hard on yourself. 1485 01:03:25,902 --> 01:03:28,404 Okay, what candle did you bring? 1486 01:03:29,739 --> 01:03:31,407 The white candle. 1487 01:03:32,608 --> 01:03:34,143 For healing. 1488 01:03:35,244 --> 01:03:36,646 We all say... 1489 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:38,681 "I wish to remove anything negative 1490 01:03:38,681 --> 01:03:40,116 from my life." 1491 01:03:40,116 --> 01:03:42,952 ALL: I wish to remove anything negative 1492 01:03:42,952 --> 01:03:44,554 from my life. 1493 01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,656 And so mote it be. 1494 01:03:49,091 --> 01:03:54,630 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1495 01:03:57,366 --> 01:03:59,602 Oh, and I wish for a unicorn. 1496 01:03:59,602 --> 01:04:01,070 [CHUCKLES] 1497 01:04:01,070 --> 01:04:03,239 Are you dating other women? 1498 01:04:03,239 --> 01:04:05,675 Why are you talking in that weird voice? 1499 01:04:05,675 --> 01:04:06,676 I'm trying to sound powerful. 1500 01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:08,778 I thought that's what turned you on last time. 1501 01:04:08,778 --> 01:04:10,146 Yeah, it turned me on 1502 01:04:10,146 --> 01:04:11,380 that you asked for what you wanted. 1503 01:04:11,380 --> 01:04:12,982 I just never knew what you were thinking before 1504 01:04:12,982 --> 01:04:14,951 because you just always agreed with everything I said. 1505 01:04:14,951 --> 01:04:17,186 Well, I don't agree with a lot of things you say! 1506 01:04:17,186 --> 01:04:19,322 Maybe listen to me for once! 1507 01:04:19,322 --> 01:04:19,922 Okay. 1508 01:04:19,922 --> 01:04:22,792 Stop dating other women! Are you dating other women? 1509 01:04:22,792 --> 01:04:26,529 Well, there are two other women that I sometimes see. 1510 01:04:28,297 --> 01:04:30,233 Pick me and only me. 1511 01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:33,736 I'll think about it. 1512 01:04:34,604 --> 01:04:36,772 And then she uncovers her true erotic nature 1513 01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:38,207 and defeats the killer inside herself, 1514 01:04:38,207 --> 01:04:41,477 which is really her own self-limiting beliefs. 1515 01:04:41,477 --> 01:04:43,479 Wow, that sounds like a real blockbuster. 1516 01:04:43,479 --> 01:04:44,480 Well, actually, I-- I do think 1517 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,948 it has potential to be a real blockbuster, 1518 01:04:45,948 --> 01:04:49,151 because what we've done here is we've-- we've satisfied 1519 01:04:49,151 --> 01:04:49,986 the demands of the genre 1520 01:04:49,986 --> 01:04:53,422 while also creating something truly original. 1521 01:04:53,723 --> 01:04:54,924 Oh, sorry, man. I almost fell asleep 1522 01:04:54,924 --> 01:04:57,126 with what you're saying, 'cause it's boring as shit. 1523 01:04:57,126 --> 01:04:58,427 Hey, do you want to have sex in the bathroom, 1524 01:04:58,427 --> 01:05:01,163 or do you want to reject me like my own mother did, huh? 1525 01:05:01,163 --> 01:05:02,365 Why did you break up with me? Huh? 1526 01:05:02,365 --> 01:05:04,600 Why did you break up with me? All I wanted to do was love you, 1527 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,370 and mentor you, and help you achieve your true potential. 1528 01:05:07,370 --> 01:05:09,105 I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. 1529 01:05:09,105 --> 01:05:10,172 I hate that you're not into me. 1530 01:05:10,172 --> 01:05:11,440 It makes me so much more attracted to you. 1531 01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,175 And I thought you were desperate and too old 1532 01:05:13,175 --> 01:05:14,777 to bear children without birth defects. 1533 01:05:14,777 --> 01:05:16,512 Oh, that's so out of line. 1534 01:05:16,512 --> 01:05:17,947 I'm so relieved that you find me attractive, 1535 01:05:17,947 --> 01:05:20,149 but when can Linda read the script that we wrote? 1536 01:05:20,149 --> 01:05:23,085 I don't want you speaking directly to Linda anymore, 1537 01:05:23,085 --> 01:05:25,655 okay? And here's another piece of advice for you, 1538 01:05:25,655 --> 01:05:27,523 uh, your boobs are too big, okay? 1539 01:05:27,523 --> 01:05:28,824 They're too big and they're flopping around, 1540 01:05:28,824 --> 01:05:30,259 and they make you look like a bimbo, all right? 1541 01:05:30,259 --> 01:05:33,329 You look like a dummy. That's why your directing career 1542 01:05:33,329 --> 01:05:34,497 hasn't gotten off the ground yet, 1543 01:05:34,497 --> 01:05:35,831 'cause you look like a big-boobied dummy. 1544 01:05:35,831 --> 01:05:38,401 Well, that's great advice. Should I cut my boobs off 1545 01:05:38,401 --> 01:05:39,568 -so I can seem smarter? -No, 1546 01:05:39,568 --> 01:05:42,038 you shouldn't cut your boobs off, okay? 1547 01:05:42,038 --> 01:05:42,972 But what you could do is, 1548 01:05:42,972 --> 01:05:44,540 you could mash them down a little bit. You could take-- 1549 01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:48,377 You know what you could do? You could Saran Wrap them, okay? 1550 01:05:48,377 --> 01:05:50,780 I do it to my dick when I'm on vacation in France. 1551 01:05:50,780 --> 01:05:53,382 I got a big dick and it fucking goes right here 1552 01:05:53,382 --> 01:05:55,117 and I tape it here. 1553 01:05:57,787 --> 01:06:01,824 My bodacious ta-tas honor me and they honor you. 1554 01:06:01,824 --> 01:06:03,259 Should I be taking notes on some of this stuff 1555 01:06:03,259 --> 01:06:05,594 for the sexual-harassment lawsuit we're all going to? 1556 01:06:05,594 --> 01:06:09,765 Hey, don't make me load my emotional gun, okay, dude? 1557 01:06:09,765 --> 01:06:10,599 'Cause I'm one step away 1558 01:06:10,599 --> 01:06:13,302 from loading this emotional gun, dude. 1559 01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:15,104 Cool. 1560 01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:18,941 That dress looks so great on you. 1561 01:06:18,941 --> 01:06:20,343 Why are you going out with Darren again? 1562 01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,144 HONEY: You should be going out with the licker. I mean, 1563 01:06:22,144 --> 01:06:24,213 there's no contest. You either get licked 1564 01:06:24,213 --> 01:06:25,181 or you don't. 1565 01:06:25,181 --> 01:06:27,516 [SIGHS] I was married to Darren 1566 01:06:27,516 --> 01:06:28,651 for 14 years. 1567 01:06:28,651 --> 01:06:30,052 I have to give him another chance. 1568 01:06:30,052 --> 01:06:33,356 Yeah, you don't want him to miss out on another chance 1569 01:06:33,356 --> 01:06:34,991 of not going down on you again. 1570 01:06:34,991 --> 01:06:37,259 Okay, I just texted Mark and I made a date tonight, 1571 01:06:37,259 --> 01:06:39,028 -10:00 p.m., Butchers & Barbers. -Oh, no! No! 1572 01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:41,097 Then I said, "Would you lick me all over after?" 1573 01:06:41,097 --> 01:06:42,231 -No! -No, I didn't say that. 1574 01:06:42,231 --> 01:06:43,833 -Give it to me. -We must enact 1575 01:06:43,833 --> 01:06:44,633 the good-guy pact. 1576 01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:46,736 -Give it to me. -[DOORBELL RINGING] 1577 01:06:46,736 --> 01:06:49,071 [SQUEALING] 1578 01:06:52,274 --> 01:06:53,976 [EXHALING] 1579 01:06:56,379 --> 01:06:57,980 [SIGHS] 1580 01:06:58,481 --> 01:06:59,749 Oh, hi, babe. 1581 01:06:59,749 --> 01:07:02,118 -Hey! -Hey. Good to see you. 1582 01:07:02,118 --> 01:07:03,552 -Yeah. -[GROANS] 1583 01:07:03,552 --> 01:07:06,255 -Glad you're feeling better. -Thanks. 1584 01:07:07,323 --> 01:07:10,159 -Hey, I'm Honey. -And I'm Candy. 1585 01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:11,594 Oh. 1586 01:07:11,594 --> 01:07:12,628 All kinds of lozenges. 1587 01:07:12,628 --> 01:07:14,497 Cool. I thought it was just gonna be us tonight. 1588 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,132 Yeah. Oh, of course. Of course. 1589 01:07:16,132 --> 01:07:18,534 Um, I can take it from here. 1590 01:07:19,602 --> 01:07:20,669 Don't fuck with her. 1591 01:07:20,669 --> 01:07:23,039 Okay. So it's time to go. 1592 01:07:23,039 --> 01:07:26,575 Um, I'll talk to you guys later. Let's go. 1593 01:07:26,675 --> 01:07:29,211 Don't forget your date tonight at ten. 1594 01:07:31,647 --> 01:07:32,748 You have a date? 1595 01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:33,849 -Uh- -Tonight? 1596 01:07:33,849 --> 01:07:36,585 Yes. She has a date. 1597 01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,889 With who? [CHUCKLES] 1598 01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,557 Not helping. 1599 01:07:41,657 --> 01:07:43,225 Okay, come on. 1600 01:07:44,660 --> 01:07:46,128 So... 1601 01:07:46,662 --> 01:07:48,697 I don't care, but who are you dating? 1602 01:07:48,697 --> 01:07:50,633 -Uh, I'm not. I'm just-- -I don't care. 1603 01:07:50,633 --> 01:07:51,667 -I really don't care. -Okay, 1604 01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:54,103 well, I might see Mark later, because I-- I just, 1605 01:07:54,103 --> 01:07:55,738 you know, ran into him the other day. 1606 01:07:55,738 --> 01:07:58,207 -You're dating my friend Mark? -No, I'm not dating him. 1607 01:07:58,207 --> 01:08:01,077 -I said I don't care. -We-- we hung out a little bit. 1608 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,112 -I don't care. -Okay. 1609 01:08:03,112 --> 01:08:04,713 I don't care. 1610 01:08:06,082 --> 01:08:08,818 -Did you fuck Mark? -What? 1611 01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:11,287 No. I mean, come on. 1612 01:08:11,287 --> 01:08:13,689 -Yes, I did. Okay. -Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1613 01:08:13,689 --> 01:08:15,324 Okay, I fucked Mark! It's none of your business! 1614 01:08:15,324 --> 01:08:16,525 You fucked my friend! How could-- 1615 01:08:16,525 --> 01:08:18,494 You fucked my friend! Of course that's my business! 1616 01:08:18,494 --> 01:08:19,795 Forget it. Forget I mentioned it. 1617 01:08:19,795 --> 01:08:20,930 How could I forget that? We got-- 1618 01:08:20,930 --> 01:08:23,232 He's my friend. We go on vacations together. 1619 01:08:23,232 --> 01:08:24,266 We went biking in Tuscany! 1620 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:27,103 That was a horrible trip. Just forget it, okay? 1621 01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:28,404 I can't forget that you fucked my friend. 1622 01:08:28,404 --> 01:08:31,407 I don't care about Mark. I love you. I love you, honey. 1623 01:08:31,407 --> 01:08:32,842 I love you. 1624 01:08:32,842 --> 01:08:34,310 Okay? 1625 01:08:35,911 --> 01:08:37,746 -Where do you want to go? -[SIGHS] 1626 01:08:37,746 --> 01:08:39,882 I don't care. Where do you want to go? 1627 01:08:39,882 --> 01:08:40,850 We'll go to Butchers & Barbers. 1628 01:08:40,850 --> 01:08:42,918 -No, we are not! Stop it. -Get in. Get in. 1629 01:08:42,918 --> 01:08:44,053 -Don't be a child. -That's exactly 1630 01:08:44,053 --> 01:08:45,354 -where we're going. -Do not be a child. 1631 01:08:45,354 --> 01:08:46,589 -I'm not being a child -Yes, you are. 1632 01:08:46,589 --> 01:08:48,124 I'm being an extremely angry adult! 1633 01:08:48,124 --> 01:08:49,658 -All right. -That's a huge difference! 1634 01:08:49,658 --> 01:08:52,695 Get it out here, 'cause we're not going there! 1635 01:08:52,695 --> 01:08:54,964 -Are you gonna open my door? -Of course I am. 1636 01:08:54,964 --> 01:08:56,098 Thank you. 1637 01:08:56,098 --> 01:08:58,834 -DARREN: Oh, Mark? -EVA: Darren. 1638 01:08:58,834 --> 01:09:01,804 -DARREN: Mark! -Darren. Darren. 1639 01:09:02,304 --> 01:09:05,040 I always knew you wanted to fuck my wife. 1640 01:09:05,608 --> 01:09:08,544 Whoa, uh, we're there. Uh... 1641 01:09:09,778 --> 01:09:10,913 You're right. 1642 01:09:10,913 --> 01:09:12,481 Oh, God. Um... 1643 01:09:12,481 --> 01:09:14,150 Just-- just deny it at least! 1644 01:09:14,150 --> 01:09:16,519 At least deny it for appearances! 1645 01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:18,487 For crying out loud! 1646 01:09:18,487 --> 01:09:20,956 Guess what. Is this expensive? 1647 01:09:20,956 --> 01:09:22,958 Mark! Oh, my God! 1648 01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:24,760 How do you like me now? Huh? 1649 01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:25,861 -Stop it! -Huh? 1650 01:09:25,861 --> 01:09:27,997 -Really? -Yeah! Yeah, really! 1651 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:29,398 -Shin kicks? -DARREN: Yeah. 1652 01:09:29,398 --> 01:09:31,634 -Stop it! -You know I took kung fu? 1653 01:09:31,634 --> 01:09:32,468 -Okay. -Huh? 1654 01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:34,370 -He took, like, two karate-- -[DARREN SCREAMS] 1655 01:09:34,370 --> 01:09:36,038 Oh, my God. 1656 01:09:36,605 --> 01:09:39,208 Oh, my God, Darren! Stop it! 1657 01:09:39,208 --> 01:09:40,576 He drank a Red Bull in the car. 1658 01:09:40,576 --> 01:09:42,244 He's really sensitive to caffeine. 1659 01:09:42,244 --> 01:09:44,213 -DARREN: Time out, time out! -You're gonna hurt yourself. 1660 01:09:44,213 --> 01:09:47,116 -EVA: I'm gonna pull up the car. -Oh, wow. Big man, huh? 1661 01:09:47,116 --> 01:09:49,552 -Settle down. -Big man with the restaurant 1662 01:09:49,552 --> 01:09:50,553 and the washboard face. 1663 01:09:50,553 --> 01:09:52,688 Sensei Doug would be horrified. 1664 01:09:52,688 --> 01:09:54,190 Guess what. 1665 01:09:54,190 --> 01:09:55,057 Ask her who she wants. 1666 01:09:55,057 --> 01:09:56,926 -Oh, I'm not doing that. -No, ask her who she wants. 1667 01:09:56,926 --> 01:09:59,995 -Who do you want? -I am not gonna answer that. 1668 01:09:59,995 --> 01:10:02,498 DARREN: You have to 1669 01:10:02,598 --> 01:10:04,200 choose. This... 1670 01:10:04,533 --> 01:10:06,068 or "Thor." 1671 01:10:07,970 --> 01:10:09,605 [DARREN SIGHS] 1672 01:10:10,973 --> 01:10:13,609 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1673 01:10:18,914 --> 01:10:20,816 -Hey. -Hey. [CHUCKLES] 1674 01:10:20,950 --> 01:10:24,253 You came. I'm glad you called me back. 1675 01:10:25,487 --> 01:10:26,855 I missed you. 1676 01:10:26,855 --> 01:10:29,959 -You look really beautiful. -Thank you. 1677 01:10:29,959 --> 01:10:33,362 Have you thought more about monogamy? 1678 01:10:33,429 --> 01:10:37,266 Ah, you really love that word. Can we talk about that later? 1679 01:10:37,266 --> 01:10:39,235 I mean, this is a really important party. 1680 01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:42,571 -I want to talk about it now. -[SIGHS] 1681 01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:44,173 That's... 1682 01:10:44,273 --> 01:10:45,407 Oh. 1683 01:10:45,407 --> 01:10:46,442 That's Steve Evans. 1684 01:10:46,442 --> 01:10:49,745 That's the guy that picks all the, uh, the TED speakers. 1685 01:10:49,745 --> 01:10:51,580 -[SIGHS] -I got to talk to him. 1686 01:10:51,580 --> 01:10:53,782 -Now? -Yeah, come on. 1687 01:10:59,955 --> 01:11:04,193 [CHUCKLES] Steve. Hey, how are you, man? 1688 01:11:04,193 --> 01:11:04,960 Daniel Peters, 1689 01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:07,563 -from the-- from the emails. -From the emails. 1690 01:11:07,563 --> 01:11:08,464 -Yeah! -Yeah! 1691 01:11:08,464 --> 01:11:09,965 -[CHUCKLES] Isn't that great? -Yeah. 1692 01:11:09,965 --> 01:11:13,402 We got to get together, man. You know, we've been, uh... 1693 01:11:15,104 --> 01:11:16,505 Oh, this is Candy. 1694 01:11:16,505 --> 01:11:17,406 Hi. 1695 01:11:17,406 --> 01:11:19,608 -Hey. -Is this your girlfriend? 1696 01:11:19,608 --> 01:11:20,843 -No! -Yeah. 1697 01:11:20,843 --> 01:11:21,644 I'm a free agent. 1698 01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:23,812 I'm interested in making lots of sexual connections, 1699 01:11:23,812 --> 01:11:26,515 because I can't be tied down by monogamy. 1700 01:11:26,515 --> 01:11:28,751 -[DANIEL CHUCKLES] -Really? 1701 01:11:29,351 --> 01:11:30,953 Interesting. 1702 01:11:31,020 --> 01:11:32,288 What do you do, Candy? 1703 01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:36,625 I study the significance of ritual, 1704 01:11:36,625 --> 01:11:38,193 and also I hate monogamy! 1705 01:11:38,193 --> 01:11:40,963 [CHUCKLES] Give me some casual sex, please! 1706 01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,564 [LAUGHING] Me, too! 1707 01:11:42,564 --> 01:11:43,966 [LAUGHING] Yeah, yeah, that's great. 1708 01:11:43,966 --> 01:11:46,835 -Yeah, that's fun. -STEVEN: Oh, Daniel, you have... 1709 01:11:46,902 --> 01:11:48,237 fascinating friends. 1710 01:11:48,237 --> 01:11:50,205 Well, she's-- It's more than a friend, 1711 01:11:50,205 --> 01:11:51,040 -so-- -Am I? 1712 01:11:51,040 --> 01:11:53,542 I would love to learn more, uh, about this. 1713 01:11:53,542 --> 01:11:55,477 Can I... Could I get your number? 1714 01:11:55,477 --> 01:11:57,579 -Sure, Steve. -Hang on a minute. 1715 01:11:57,579 --> 01:11:58,881 -Listen-- -It's good. I got my phone. 1716 01:11:58,881 --> 01:12:00,416 -I can connect you. -I got my phone. It's good. 1717 01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:02,918 DANIEL: I can probably connect you guys on an email. 1718 01:12:02,918 --> 01:12:04,119 Just type it in yourself? 1719 01:12:04,119 --> 01:12:05,954 And is it Candy with an I or a Y? 1720 01:12:05,954 --> 01:12:07,856 -With a Y. -Oh, why not? 1721 01:12:07,856 --> 01:12:11,393 Oh. Why-- why would it be with an I, you know? 1722 01:12:11,393 --> 01:12:12,628 PETER: You guys are all handsome guys. 1723 01:12:12,628 --> 01:12:14,063 You know what I'm talking about. It's the fast-paced 1724 01:12:14,063 --> 01:12:15,764 Hollywood lifestyle. You know how many girls 1725 01:12:15,764 --> 01:12:17,766 I've had sex with? 21. 1726 01:12:17,766 --> 01:12:18,767 And I'm only 35. 1727 01:12:18,767 --> 01:12:19,702 And I've eaten 12 pussies, 1728 01:12:19,702 --> 01:12:22,504 most of them on the girls I've fucked. Hey! 1729 01:12:22,638 --> 01:12:23,739 HONEY: Hey. 1730 01:12:23,739 --> 01:12:24,973 -[CLEARS THROAT] -I got your text. 1731 01:12:24,973 --> 01:12:26,909 PETER: One second, guys. I'll be right back. 1732 01:12:26,909 --> 01:12:29,411 Follow me. I got to piss out of my cock. 1733 01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:30,346 Did Linda read my script? 1734 01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:33,148 Uh, yeah, she agreed with a few things about it, 1735 01:12:33,148 --> 01:12:35,317 so, uh, I got rid of her. 1736 01:12:35,517 --> 01:12:37,019 You got rid of her? 1737 01:12:37,019 --> 01:12:38,354 Yeah. And, uh, it turns out 1738 01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:40,022 I got some new financiers for the movie, 1739 01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:42,624 so it doesn't matter what Linda thinks. 1740 01:12:43,092 --> 01:12:44,626 Oh, plus... 1741 01:12:44,626 --> 01:12:46,295 you're fired. 1742 01:12:47,496 --> 01:12:48,464 Well, great, 'cause I quit. 1743 01:12:48,464 --> 01:12:50,265 And I'm gonna write my own movie about a woman 1744 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:53,902 having a religious orgasm. And no one stabs her in the ass. 1745 01:12:53,902 --> 01:12:56,038 First of all, you can't quit after I fire you, so... 1746 01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:58,374 A person can be smart and have big boobs. 1747 01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:00,042 And people are gonna watch my movie 1748 01:13:00,042 --> 01:13:02,211 and people are gonna love it! 1749 01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:05,447 No one respects you, big boobs. 1750 01:13:05,514 --> 01:13:06,949 Uh... 1751 01:13:07,950 --> 01:13:10,386 You know, I used to want to be you. 1752 01:13:10,452 --> 01:13:13,155 But all the success in the world doesn't make you happy, 1753 01:13:13,155 --> 01:13:14,556 does it? 1754 01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:18,994 I have friends and you don't have any friends, 1755 01:13:18,994 --> 01:13:20,596 and I'm happy. 1756 01:13:21,997 --> 01:13:24,466 Yeah, I guess, you know what, maybe I'm not so happy 1757 01:13:24,466 --> 01:13:26,034 in my life. 1758 01:13:27,436 --> 01:13:29,204 Maybe if we had sex in this bathroom, 1759 01:13:29,204 --> 01:13:30,172 I might be happy about that, 1760 01:13:30,172 --> 01:13:32,441 so why don't you get on your knees, baby? 1761 01:13:33,342 --> 01:13:34,877 Fuck you. 1762 01:13:38,614 --> 01:13:41,550 [DARREN GROANING] 1763 01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:46,355 Oh. Oh. 1764 01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:48,123 Oh, wow. 1765 01:13:49,892 --> 01:13:51,693 I'm sorry you didn't come. 1766 01:13:53,462 --> 01:13:55,464 You know what I love about you? 1767 01:13:55,931 --> 01:13:58,133 You're so comforting, you know? 1768 01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,102 Here's the thing... 1769 01:14:00,669 --> 01:14:02,104 Sex dies... 1770 01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:04,006 in every relationship. 1771 01:14:05,340 --> 01:14:06,842 So maybe we should be together. 1772 01:14:06,842 --> 01:14:08,277 -What? -I'm-- I'm just-- 1773 01:14:08,277 --> 01:14:10,813 I'm losing my passion for Chandra, you know? 1774 01:14:10,813 --> 01:14:11,980 -Oh. -You know, I just don't want 1775 01:14:11,980 --> 01:14:13,582 -anyone to get hurt. -Oh my God, 1776 01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:15,818 Chandra broke up with you. That's why you're here. 1777 01:14:15,818 --> 01:14:18,687 No, she's following One Direction for a while. 1778 01:14:18,687 --> 01:14:19,955 Oh, perfect! 1779 01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:22,491 -That's so perfect! -I know. 1780 01:14:22,491 --> 01:14:24,326 I'm a cliché. But... 1781 01:14:24,326 --> 01:14:27,396 the handsome guy runs off with a younger, hot, 1782 01:14:27,396 --> 01:14:30,599 sexy, fit, tight little girl, 1783 01:14:30,599 --> 01:14:31,633 and then he gets bored, 1784 01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:33,802 and he wants to come running home to mommy. 1785 01:14:33,802 --> 01:14:36,839 -EVA [SIGHS] -[MIMICS BABY] 1786 01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:39,274 Mommy? 1787 01:14:39,274 --> 01:14:40,709 Uh, I'm not your mommy, okay? 1788 01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:43,412 Okay, you don't understand. Here's the thing. 1789 01:14:43,412 --> 01:14:45,180 I'm saving... 1790 01:14:45,247 --> 01:14:46,949 my sexual energy... 1791 01:14:47,850 --> 01:14:48,550 for my art. 1792 01:14:48,550 --> 01:14:49,918 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. 1793 01:14:49,918 --> 01:14:52,120 I think maybe sex doesn't die for everyone. 1794 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:54,857 It just has died for you and your weird dick. 1795 01:14:54,857 --> 01:14:56,625 -And Mark couldn't wait... -Stop it. Stop it. 1796 01:14:56,625 --> 01:14:58,961 ...to go down on me. He fucking loved going down, 1797 01:14:58,961 --> 01:15:00,162 -and I loved it! -Oh, stop. Ew. Ew. Ew. 1798 01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,631 -Oh, no, see, that says it all. -First of all, ew. 1799 01:15:02,631 --> 01:15:04,466 -"Ew." -Ew. Ew. 1800 01:15:04,466 --> 01:15:05,634 You asked him to go down on you. 1801 01:15:05,634 --> 01:15:09,071 No, I didn't ask him! He asked me! He begged me! 1802 01:15:09,071 --> 01:15:09,972 -Oh, my God. -Mm-hmm. 1803 01:15:09,972 --> 01:15:11,707 -What an asshole. -That's what he said. 1804 01:15:11,707 --> 01:15:12,875 -Stop. That's not-- Stop it. -He did. 1805 01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:15,444 He said I had a beautiful butthole. Ha-ha! 1806 01:15:15,444 --> 01:15:16,211 [MOANING] 1807 01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:20,082 -You want a line? -No, thanks. I'm fine. 1808 01:15:22,184 --> 01:15:24,653 Oh! [SIGHS] 1809 01:15:28,657 --> 01:15:30,659 Are you a drug addict? 1810 01:15:31,493 --> 01:15:33,228 Why would you ask that? 1811 01:15:33,495 --> 01:15:35,030 No reason. 1812 01:15:36,565 --> 01:15:39,801 No. Look, that's just a piece of art, yeah? 1813 01:15:39,801 --> 01:15:42,938 It's a piece of art about a feeling, you know? 1814 01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:46,008 Just a feeling some people make me feel. 1815 01:15:46,441 --> 01:15:47,809 So there's a lot of other people 1816 01:15:47,809 --> 01:15:48,777 who think you're a drug addict? 1817 01:15:48,777 --> 01:15:52,214 No. No, I just like to party and have a good time is all, 1818 01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:52,814 yeah? 1819 01:15:52,814 --> 01:15:54,416 Who else thinks you're a drug addict? 1820 01:15:54,416 --> 01:15:58,487 [GROANS] Look, just my stupid family. 1821 01:15:58,487 --> 01:15:59,187 Your family? 1822 01:15:59,187 --> 01:16:00,889 Yeah, look, just 'cause they give me money, 1823 01:16:00,889 --> 01:16:04,626 it makes them think they got the right to judge me, yeah? 1824 01:16:04,927 --> 01:16:07,129 But come on. Let's get some food. 1825 01:16:07,129 --> 01:16:10,198 Why does your family think you're a drug addict? 1826 01:16:10,799 --> 01:16:11,967 [SCOFFS] 1827 01:16:11,967 --> 01:16:13,502 I'm Freedom, yeah? 1828 01:16:13,502 --> 01:16:16,271 I'm free from family shackles. 1829 01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:18,974 Stop doing drugs. 1830 01:16:18,974 --> 01:16:20,642 I'll help you. 1831 01:16:24,379 --> 01:16:25,981 I love you. 1832 01:16:28,183 --> 01:16:31,053 Yeah, I-- I love you so much. 1833 01:16:31,520 --> 01:16:33,322 And I've been thinking, yeah? I-- 1834 01:16:33,322 --> 01:16:35,724 I've got to get out of this city for a while... 1835 01:16:35,724 --> 01:16:39,361 'cause sometimes a man, he needs to go on walkabout. 1836 01:16:39,361 --> 01:16:41,496 I've got these big mountains to climb, yeah? 1837 01:16:41,496 --> 01:16:45,033 A man, he needs to be able to climb his mountains, yeah? 1838 01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:46,101 Do you understand? 1839 01:16:46,101 --> 01:16:48,170 Not really. Are you talking about real mountains, or-- 1840 01:16:48,170 --> 01:16:51,473 I'm talking about the mountains that only a real man can climb, 1841 01:16:51,473 --> 01:16:53,909 yeah? 'Cause that's-- that's me. 1842 01:16:54,042 --> 01:16:55,577 I'm a man. 1843 01:16:57,012 --> 01:16:58,513 Can I come with you? 1844 01:16:58,513 --> 01:16:59,314 No. 1845 01:16:59,314 --> 01:17:02,484 No, I've got wars to fight. Do you see? 1846 01:17:03,485 --> 01:17:05,654 Hey, maybe we'll reunite, yeah? 1847 01:17:05,721 --> 01:17:07,289 In, like, five years. 1848 01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,690 Five years? 1849 01:17:08,690 --> 01:17:10,192 Yeah. 1850 01:17:10,792 --> 01:17:12,628 Come on, look in my eyes. 1851 01:17:13,595 --> 01:17:15,364 What am I thinking? 1852 01:17:16,365 --> 01:17:17,366 I don't know. 1853 01:17:17,366 --> 01:17:20,268 Can two people ever really be together? 1854 01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:23,472 And once they're together, can they ever really be apart? 1855 01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:25,173 These feelings... 1856 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,976 they'll always exist inside us. 1857 01:17:29,945 --> 01:17:32,714 Maybe I'll come back for you one day. 1858 01:17:33,248 --> 01:17:34,950 But maybe not. 1859 01:17:35,584 --> 01:17:37,052 And remember... 1860 01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:39,621 I left you better than I found you. 1861 01:17:44,860 --> 01:17:47,095 CANDY: "I left you better than I found you"? 1862 01:17:47,095 --> 01:17:49,431 HONEY: And then he went off to climb mountains. 1863 01:17:49,431 --> 01:17:51,199 Probably mountains of cocaine. 1864 01:17:51,199 --> 01:17:53,969 How can I have the amazing sex again? 1865 01:17:53,969 --> 01:17:55,570 I think he was the one. 1866 01:17:55,570 --> 01:17:58,440 EVA: No, he's not the one. You're the one. 1867 01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:01,410 You're the only one that matters. 1868 01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,278 These candles are dangerous. 1869 01:18:03,278 --> 01:18:04,112 And they don't work! 1870 01:18:04,112 --> 01:18:06,682 Let's do a spell for the power to make our dreams come true. 1871 01:18:06,682 --> 01:18:09,551 We don't have power. We have low self-esteem. 1872 01:18:09,551 --> 01:18:10,852 Okay, don't say that. 1873 01:18:10,852 --> 01:18:13,321 -[YELLING] Ah! The candles! -Stop it. 1874 01:18:13,321 --> 01:18:16,324 Only a stupid idiot would believe in a magic candle. 1875 01:18:16,324 --> 01:18:17,125 I believe in them. 1876 01:18:17,125 --> 01:18:18,493 That's 'cause you live in a fantasy world. 1877 01:18:18,493 --> 01:18:19,661 -What is going on? -HONEY: Look, 1878 01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,129 I paid a lot of money for your candles 1879 01:18:21,129 --> 01:18:23,565 and I'm gonna sue you for false advertising! 1880 01:18:23,565 --> 01:18:24,766 I bought them from a candle emporium. 1881 01:18:24,766 --> 01:18:26,835 -They're not magic. -I hate the candles! 1882 01:18:26,835 --> 01:18:28,003 -No! -Whoa, calm down! 1883 01:18:28,003 --> 01:18:29,538 You guys all have your periods, right? That's-- 1884 01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,506 The candles suck! All right, you know, 1885 01:18:31,506 --> 01:18:33,508 this is your friend. You are fired. 1886 01:18:33,508 --> 01:18:35,377 Oh! I quit! 1887 01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:36,945 She's not my friend! 1888 01:18:36,945 --> 01:18:38,246 'Cause I'm not friends with people 1889 01:18:38,246 --> 01:18:40,515 that think I'm stupid. [SOBBING] 1890 01:18:41,550 --> 01:18:43,919 And we're not on our periods! 1891 01:18:45,921 --> 01:18:49,224 I mean, to be fair, I am on my period. 1892 01:18:49,224 --> 01:18:51,727 It's towards the end of my cycle. 1893 01:18:52,461 --> 01:18:54,796 It's only a matter of time for the rest of them, right? 1894 01:18:54,796 --> 01:18:56,798 -Would you just stop? -Okay. 1895 01:18:56,798 --> 01:18:59,234 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1896 01:19:28,396 --> 01:19:30,932 -[SNIFFLING] -You okay? 1897 01:19:31,032 --> 01:19:33,668 -Not really. -You know what? 1898 01:19:34,236 --> 01:19:35,971 Screw this place. 1899 01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:40,475 Hey. 1900 01:19:40,909 --> 01:19:44,746 Working with you has been the best part of my job. 1901 01:19:46,748 --> 01:19:47,883 You know, I wanted to be the voice 1902 01:19:47,883 --> 01:19:51,620 of modern feminism, but I'm a loser. 1903 01:19:51,686 --> 01:19:52,254 And I... 1904 01:19:52,254 --> 01:19:53,855 don't think my friends will ever talk to me again, 1905 01:19:53,855 --> 01:19:54,890 'cause I took a big crap on them 1906 01:19:54,890 --> 01:19:57,292 and then I crapped in front of them. 1907 01:19:58,126 --> 01:19:59,294 I took an emotional shit. 1908 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:03,031 Everything's gonna be okay. I believe in you, yo. 1909 01:20:03,031 --> 01:20:05,667 And you do have a feminist voice. 1910 01:20:05,667 --> 01:20:07,169 You're the full package. 1911 01:20:07,169 --> 01:20:10,172 I think you're a package and a half. 1912 01:20:10,172 --> 01:20:11,973 -I'm a package and a half? -Yeah. 1913 01:20:11,973 --> 01:20:14,810 I'd even go so far as saying you're two packages. 1914 01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:17,312 That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me. 1915 01:20:17,312 --> 01:20:19,848 That's the nicest thing I've ever said. 1916 01:20:21,516 --> 01:20:22,951 Huh. 1917 01:20:30,458 --> 01:20:32,494 [DOOR KNOCKING] 1918 01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:36,331 [SCREAMS] 1919 01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:37,966 HONEY: Hello. I'm looking for the special unicorn lady 1920 01:20:37,966 --> 01:20:41,136 who lives in this apartment and is very magical. 1921 01:20:41,136 --> 01:20:43,305 Oh. Leave me alone. 1922 01:20:43,305 --> 01:20:45,707 I'm living in my fantasy world. 1923 01:20:46,241 --> 01:20:48,043 I'm sorry I was a jerk. 1924 01:20:48,176 --> 01:20:49,945 I really miss you. 1925 01:20:52,514 --> 01:20:53,982 Wow. 1926 01:20:54,249 --> 01:20:57,052 I can't believe you did this. Thanks. 1927 01:20:57,052 --> 01:20:58,420 Don't thank me. It's the candles. 1928 01:20:58,420 --> 01:21:00,255 -They really work. -Stop making fun of me. 1929 01:21:00,255 --> 01:21:04,726 I'm not. My life was depressing without your magic spells. 1930 01:21:04,793 --> 01:21:06,027 Thank you. It's true. 1931 01:21:06,027 --> 01:21:07,596 Listen, I have a great idea. 1932 01:21:07,596 --> 01:21:11,199 [EVA SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 1933 01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:16,905 All right, the factory in Jakarta's running behind. 1934 01:21:17,272 --> 01:21:18,373 [SIGHS] 1935 01:21:18,373 --> 01:21:19,541 Can we sell the magical candles 1936 01:21:19,541 --> 01:21:21,076 in your store and use the profits 1937 01:21:21,076 --> 01:21:21,910 to pay Candy's rent? 1938 01:21:21,910 --> 01:21:25,780 I don't know. Maybe I have too much low self-esteem. 1939 01:21:26,014 --> 01:21:27,782 I'm sorry that I projectile-vomited 1940 01:21:27,782 --> 01:21:28,750 my low self-esteem onto you, 1941 01:21:28,750 --> 01:21:31,519 and I promise to swallow it back down next time. 1942 01:21:31,519 --> 01:21:32,654 Ew. 1943 01:21:32,654 --> 01:21:34,422 That is the grossest analogy. 1944 01:21:34,422 --> 01:21:39,427 -Yes, you can sell candles here. -Thank you. 1945 01:21:39,961 --> 01:21:42,197 You guys look really cute. 1946 01:21:42,197 --> 01:21:43,632 -We're witches. -Oh! 1947 01:21:43,632 --> 01:21:45,734 I thought you were, like, mean cowgirls. 1948 01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:47,269 Witches. It's better. It's better. 1949 01:21:47,269 --> 01:21:49,404 Come see. We'll set up over here. 1950 01:21:50,839 --> 01:21:52,173 CANDY: A lot of people are gonna tell you 1951 01:21:52,173 --> 01:21:53,375 you can't do things in your life, 1952 01:21:53,375 --> 01:21:55,277 and I'm here to tell you that you can. 1953 01:21:55,277 --> 01:21:56,811 Believe in yourself. 1954 01:21:56,811 --> 01:22:00,248 And remember how amazing you really are. 1955 01:22:03,518 --> 01:22:05,587 Oh! We sold so many. 1956 01:22:05,587 --> 01:22:07,555 Wow, witches are, like, the new vampires. 1957 01:22:07,555 --> 01:22:10,926 It's shocking how many people are buying these things. 1958 01:22:10,926 --> 01:22:13,828 The two children's dresses we made came in. 1959 01:22:13,828 --> 01:22:15,997 What do you want to do with them? 1960 01:22:15,997 --> 01:22:17,365 Oh. [SIGHS] 1961 01:22:17,365 --> 01:22:18,800 What's happening with Mark? 1962 01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:21,202 We broke up. I forgot the good-guy pact 1963 01:22:21,202 --> 01:22:24,873 and I chose Darren. And I really regret it. 1964 01:22:24,873 --> 01:22:26,041 You gotta give those little girls 1965 01:22:26,041 --> 01:22:27,475 -their dresses. -EVA: I'm pretty sure 1966 01:22:27,475 --> 01:22:30,245 he never wants to see me again. 1967 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:34,082 Fine. What do you think? Maybe not, right? 1968 01:22:34,082 --> 01:22:36,017 -[CHILDREN LAUGHING] -Oh, my God! 1969 01:22:36,017 --> 01:22:38,086 That look. Jeez. 1970 01:22:38,086 --> 01:22:39,955 All right. Okay. 1971 01:22:46,328 --> 01:22:48,964 He didn't come, so there you go. 1972 01:22:49,431 --> 01:22:50,298 Not home, right? 1973 01:22:50,298 --> 01:22:52,300 -[DOOR OPENING] -Oh, God. 1974 01:22:53,001 --> 01:22:55,603 Uh, hi. How are you? Um... 1975 01:22:56,538 --> 01:23:00,342 I know you probably don't want to see me. Um... 1976 01:23:00,342 --> 01:23:03,144 I made dresses for your daughters. 1977 01:23:04,546 --> 01:23:06,114 Nice. Thank you. 1978 01:23:07,415 --> 01:23:08,683 I'm sorry. 1979 01:23:08,683 --> 01:23:11,553 I'm so sorry I sabotaged our relationship. 1980 01:23:11,553 --> 01:23:14,356 And I'm sorry I treated you so badly 1981 01:23:14,356 --> 01:23:18,026 when you're just, like, the greatest guy. 1982 01:23:18,426 --> 01:23:20,662 Thanks for saying that, but, uh... 1983 01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,732 I don't think we should see each other anymore. 1984 01:23:26,868 --> 01:23:27,469 Um... 1985 01:23:27,469 --> 01:23:30,138 for what it's worth, I broke up with Darren... 1986 01:23:30,205 --> 01:23:31,706 for good. 1987 01:23:32,407 --> 01:23:33,641 Just... 1988 01:23:33,641 --> 01:23:36,077 I don't think I liked myself enough 1989 01:23:36,077 --> 01:23:38,179 to choose a good guy. 1990 01:23:38,947 --> 01:23:41,049 I didn't think I deserved it. 1991 01:23:41,049 --> 01:23:41,950 MARY: Eva! 1992 01:23:41,950 --> 01:23:44,019 -Hey, sweetie! -Hey, Eva. 1993 01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:44,953 I made you dresses. 1994 01:23:44,953 --> 01:23:48,490 Yay! Come in! Evie, Evie, Evie! 1995 01:23:53,261 --> 01:23:54,896 [WHISPERING] Yes! 1996 01:23:55,830 --> 01:23:59,968 I like the dress. I'm having an orgasm. 1997 01:23:59,968 --> 01:24:03,705 [MUSIC PLAYING] 1998 01:24:06,674 --> 01:24:09,611 ♪ I feel it ♪ 1999 01:24:10,745 --> 01:24:14,249 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2000 01:24:14,516 --> 01:24:18,119 ♪ I feel it ♪ 2001 01:24:18,119 --> 01:24:21,923 ♪ I feel love ♪ 2002 01:24:22,991 --> 01:24:25,427 EVA: Who knew getting a divorce could be so great? 2003 01:24:25,427 --> 01:24:28,096 -CANDY: Yeah. -What's going on with Daniel? 2004 01:24:28,096 --> 01:24:31,499 Nothing! That's why we need a super-powerful spell. 2005 01:24:31,499 --> 01:24:34,302 I think we should call on all the elements to help us. 2006 01:24:34,302 --> 01:24:35,670 -Honey, are you in? -I'm so in. 2007 01:24:35,670 --> 01:24:37,372 In fact, I'm gonna call on the elements. 2008 01:24:37,372 --> 01:24:38,606 What are the elements? 2009 01:24:38,606 --> 01:24:40,208 -[LAUGHING] -Uh, Earth. 2010 01:24:40,208 --> 01:24:42,577 Okay, Earth. Earth. Okay. 2011 01:24:42,577 --> 01:24:43,945 I am going to-- I don't know, 2012 01:24:43,945 --> 01:24:47,582 I'm going to call on the Earth and-- Is that really dorky? 2013 01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:48,817 -No, no, no! -No, it's amazing! 2014 01:24:48,817 --> 01:24:51,553 -I'm gonna walk on it. Why not? -CANDY: Okay. 2015 01:24:51,553 --> 01:24:53,421 CANDY: What's up, earth? [LAUGHING] 2016 01:24:53,421 --> 01:24:54,622 HONEY: Okay, what's another element? 2017 01:24:54,622 --> 01:24:57,592 -Uh, wind. -Okay, what about... 2018 01:24:59,694 --> 01:25:02,363 -Would incense count? -Yeah! 2019 01:25:02,464 --> 01:25:04,999 -Sure. -All right. Um... 2020 01:25:04,999 --> 01:25:06,468 we call on the wind. 2021 01:25:06,468 --> 01:25:09,971 [WIND BLOWING] 2022 01:25:09,971 --> 01:25:12,474 -Am I imagining that? -No. 2023 01:25:12,474 --> 01:25:15,043 -Wow, so cool! -So cool! 2024 01:25:15,043 --> 01:25:19,214 Okay, what about water? Here. Drink your drinks. 2025 01:25:22,984 --> 01:25:24,752 I call on water! 2026 01:25:24,752 --> 01:25:27,922 [THUNDER RUMBLING] 2027 01:25:27,922 --> 01:25:29,924 [SQUEALING] 2028 01:25:29,924 --> 01:25:31,960 Guys, we made it rain. 2029 01:25:32,494 --> 01:25:34,496 CANDY: Candles are fire. 2030 01:25:34,929 --> 01:25:36,798 Purple for power. 2031 01:25:36,798 --> 01:25:38,800 The power to get what we want. 2032 01:25:40,068 --> 01:25:41,703 Say your wishes. 2033 01:25:41,769 --> 01:25:43,538 I wish to like myself. 2034 01:25:43,538 --> 01:25:46,174 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 2035 01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:51,012 I wish to know that I deserve the good things in life. 2036 01:25:51,012 --> 01:25:53,114 ALL: So mote it be. 2037 01:25:55,850 --> 01:25:57,385 I wish for love... 2038 01:25:57,385 --> 01:25:58,887 -and money. -[HONEY CHUCKLES] 2039 01:25:58,887 --> 01:26:01,055 -So mote it be. -So mote it be. 2040 01:26:01,289 --> 01:26:05,360 We ask the elements to help us with our hearts' desires. 2041 01:26:06,060 --> 01:26:07,529 This... 2042 01:26:07,829 --> 01:26:09,564 or something better. 2043 01:26:09,631 --> 01:26:13,935 ♪ All I could ever need Is you ♪ 2044 01:26:13,935 --> 01:26:15,703 [CANDY LAUGHING] 2045 01:26:15,703 --> 01:26:19,641 If you believe in magic, then there's magic! 2046 01:26:21,709 --> 01:26:23,044 [CHEERING] 2047 01:26:23,044 --> 01:26:26,414 [LAUGHING] 2048 01:26:27,215 --> 01:26:29,150 It's raining so hard! 2049 01:26:29,150 --> 01:26:31,686 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2050 01:26:31,953 --> 01:26:33,988 HONEY: "To truly experience ecstatic sex, 2051 01:26:33,988 --> 01:26:36,024 you must first fall in love with yourself. 2052 01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:40,028 Look at yourself in a mirror and say, 'I love you.' " 2053 01:26:42,030 --> 01:26:43,831 [SIGHS] 2054 01:26:45,967 --> 01:26:47,502 I love you. 2055 01:26:49,971 --> 01:26:51,573 I love you. 2056 01:26:53,241 --> 01:26:54,642 Well... 2057 01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:57,812 "Now look at your yoni in a mirror 2058 01:26:57,812 --> 01:27:00,682 and admire its tremendous beauty." 2059 01:27:06,754 --> 01:27:08,389 I love you. 2060 01:27:08,790 --> 01:27:12,760 "Discover what kind of pressure you like. Play music." 2061 01:27:20,535 --> 01:27:22,870 ♪ I pull up to the club ♪ 2062 01:27:22,870 --> 01:27:24,772 ♪ I got my swag on ♪ 2063 01:27:24,772 --> 01:27:26,641 ♪ The music's playing loud ♪ 2064 01:27:26,641 --> 01:27:28,776 ♪ Can't play their money y'all ♪ 2065 01:27:28,776 --> 01:27:31,079 ♪ I see 'em lookin' at me ♪ 2066 01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:33,047 ♪ She got a pretty smile ♪ 2067 01:27:33,047 --> 01:27:35,683 ♪ So I'm-a get a drink ♪ 2068 01:27:35,683 --> 01:27:38,920 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2069 01:27:42,757 --> 01:27:44,058 Mm. Okay. 2070 01:27:44,058 --> 01:27:48,062 [GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING] 2071 01:27:48,062 --> 01:27:49,897 ♪ Come on ♪ 2072 01:27:52,967 --> 01:27:55,703 Hell! Hell! Hell! 2073 01:27:55,703 --> 01:27:58,306 And hell! 2074 01:27:58,306 --> 01:27:58,973 Shut up. 2075 01:27:58,973 --> 01:28:00,174 ♪ Girl I want ya ♪ 2076 01:28:00,174 --> 01:28:02,577 ♪ There's no way... ♪ 2077 01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:09,083 -Can you take your shirt off? -Don't. Please. Please don't. 2078 01:28:09,083 --> 01:28:10,985 Can I just leave it on? 2079 01:28:11,052 --> 01:28:12,854 Can I-- Okay. 2080 01:28:14,656 --> 01:28:16,157 Um... 2081 01:28:19,060 --> 01:28:19,727 I just... 2082 01:28:19,727 --> 01:28:22,797 I don't want you to be disappointed. 2083 01:28:24,399 --> 01:28:27,368 Why don't you let me be the judge of that? 2084 01:28:35,610 --> 01:28:38,579 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2085 01:28:48,523 --> 01:28:50,525 [SIGHS] 2086 01:28:51,859 --> 01:28:55,830 You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. 2087 01:29:03,271 --> 01:29:05,306 [EVE LAUGHING] 2088 01:29:06,541 --> 01:29:09,010 -[SIGHS] -WOMAN: See ya, Jane. 2089 01:29:10,545 --> 01:29:11,312 -Hi. -Hi. 2090 01:29:11,312 --> 01:29:13,047 Can I talk to you for a second? 2091 01:29:13,047 --> 01:29:13,881 -Okay. -Um, 2092 01:29:13,881 --> 01:29:15,483 I'm the old assistant who likes sluts. 2093 01:29:15,483 --> 01:29:17,352 I know who you are. I liked your script. 2094 01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:20,988 Thank you. So I'm not working for Peter anymore. 2095 01:29:20,988 --> 01:29:21,856 Good. He's a dick. 2096 01:29:21,856 --> 01:29:24,892 Yeah. And I wrote a new script and I wanted to pitch it to you 2097 01:29:24,892 --> 01:29:26,694 and I was hoping you would read it. 2098 01:29:26,694 --> 01:29:27,729 How did you find me? 2099 01:29:27,729 --> 01:29:30,431 Well, I, uh... I stole Peter's contacts. 2100 01:29:30,431 --> 01:29:33,434 -Oh, very sneaky. I like that. -I'm sneaky. 2101 01:29:33,434 --> 01:29:35,236 -Mm-hmm. -I want to be a filmmaker. 2102 01:29:35,236 --> 01:29:36,904 Really? Have you directed before? 2103 01:29:36,904 --> 01:29:39,440 -No, just a short. -Hmm. Well, okay. 2104 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:42,477 You can walk me to my car. I'll give you five minutes. 2105 01:29:42,477 --> 01:29:43,945 Okay! 2106 01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:50,551 Are you dating Steve? 2107 01:29:51,252 --> 01:29:53,221 What? No. 2108 01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:59,827 -Let's be monogamous. -Oh! 2109 01:29:59,827 --> 01:30:01,195 Let's be monogamous right now! 2110 01:30:01,195 --> 01:30:02,964 -Yeah! -Yeah! 2111 01:30:03,865 --> 01:30:05,900 -CANDY: Oh! -Ow. 2112 01:30:07,535 --> 01:30:08,102 Mm-hmm! 2113 01:30:08,102 --> 01:30:10,138 I am going to get the biggest Cosmo they got. 2114 01:30:10,138 --> 01:30:12,106 -Make it a double. -Oh, I just love your boots. 2115 01:30:12,106 --> 01:30:14,809 -They're gorgeous. -Right? I know. Right? 2116 01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:17,211 -Excuse me. -Yes? 2117 01:30:17,211 --> 01:30:20,548 Are you the priest from St. Francis of Assisi? 2118 01:30:20,615 --> 01:30:22,550 Yes, I used to be. 2119 01:30:22,550 --> 01:30:25,653 I used to go to your church when I was a kid. 2120 01:30:26,120 --> 01:30:27,555 Oh! 2121 01:30:27,555 --> 01:30:29,457 -Well. -Yeah. 2122 01:30:29,457 --> 01:30:30,925 Hmm. 2123 01:30:31,659 --> 01:30:33,728 Didn't you used to preach that no one should have sex 2124 01:30:33,728 --> 01:30:35,863 unless it was for the purpose of procreation? 2125 01:30:35,863 --> 01:30:37,632 Oh, I used to say a lot of stuff. 2126 01:30:37,632 --> 01:30:39,534 -FRANK: Mm-hmm. -Now I just do what feels good. 2127 01:30:39,534 --> 01:30:42,570 -And what feels good is Frank. -Mm-hmm! 2128 01:30:42,570 --> 01:30:44,839 Excuse me. But-- but what about people 2129 01:30:44,839 --> 01:30:45,840 who listened to what you said 2130 01:30:45,840 --> 01:30:48,075 and then they spent their lives feeling tormented? 2131 01:30:48,075 --> 01:30:49,777 And what about hell? 2132 01:30:50,745 --> 01:30:52,246 Sorry? 2133 01:30:56,617 --> 01:30:58,019 Don't torment yourself. 2134 01:30:58,019 --> 01:31:00,988 I think God wants us to be happy. 2135 01:31:04,325 --> 01:31:07,662 -So uncomfortable. -Right? I know. 2136 01:31:09,597 --> 01:31:12,567 I know you're gonna talk at TED one day. 2137 01:31:12,567 --> 01:31:14,435 You are so great. 2138 01:31:14,435 --> 01:31:15,770 I love you. 2139 01:31:15,770 --> 01:31:18,606 I love you. Thank you. 2140 01:31:20,908 --> 01:31:23,511 You know, Honey got me that unicorn. 2141 01:31:23,511 --> 01:31:25,279 It's so cute! 2142 01:31:25,580 --> 01:31:27,448 Unicorns are lame. 2143 01:31:30,618 --> 01:31:32,520 You don't like unicorns? 2144 01:31:33,488 --> 01:31:35,323 -Eh. -What? 2145 01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:37,492 I-- I just... 2146 01:31:37,492 --> 01:31:39,694 I'm not crazy about 'em. 2147 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:42,697 How can you not like unicorns? 2148 01:31:43,130 --> 01:31:45,132 I-- I think they're creepy. 2149 01:31:45,132 --> 01:31:46,367 -Creepy? -Yes, 2150 01:31:46,367 --> 01:31:49,103 especially when they're looking over the bed. 2151 01:31:49,103 --> 01:31:51,205 Look, a human interacting with a computer 2152 01:31:51,205 --> 01:31:53,908 is interesting, you know? But when a human interacts 2153 01:31:53,908 --> 01:31:55,710 with a unicorn... 2154 01:31:56,544 --> 01:32:00,114 -not as much, okay? -Unicorns are interesting. 2155 01:32:00,114 --> 01:32:02,216 I just... I think you're a beautiful, 2156 01:32:02,216 --> 01:32:03,150 lovely, attractive woman. 2157 01:32:03,150 --> 01:32:06,053 I think you should just limit how much you talk about unicorns 2158 01:32:06,053 --> 01:32:07,221 in front of people, okay? 2159 01:32:07,221 --> 01:32:08,789 I just don't want you to be uncomfortable 2160 01:32:08,789 --> 01:32:10,057 when you meet the TED people. 2161 01:32:10,057 --> 01:32:12,994 So maybe not, you know, don't talk about them too much 2162 01:32:12,994 --> 01:32:14,729 in front of everyone. 2163 01:32:19,500 --> 01:32:20,768 Huh. 2164 01:32:21,702 --> 01:32:24,572 I want to be monogamous, but not with you. 2165 01:32:25,706 --> 01:32:28,609 -What? -I want to date other people. 2166 01:32:29,477 --> 01:32:31,045 Are-- are you kidding? 2167 01:32:31,812 --> 01:32:33,447 I'm a unicorn. 2168 01:32:33,915 --> 01:32:35,449 What? I... 2169 01:32:35,716 --> 01:32:36,651 What are you saying? 2170 01:32:36,651 --> 01:32:40,454 You don't like unicorns, and that's a deal breaker. 2171 01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:44,158 Let's be friends. 2172 01:32:55,970 --> 01:32:58,406 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2173 01:32:59,840 --> 01:33:02,209 ♪ Ooh ♪ 2174 01:33:05,546 --> 01:33:08,215 ♪ That feels ♪ 2175 01:33:09,350 --> 01:33:11,552 ♪ Inside ♪ 2176 01:33:11,819 --> 01:33:13,421 [SIGHS] 2177 01:33:13,688 --> 01:33:17,124 ♪ All I ever want ♪ 2178 01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:20,928 ♪ All I could ever need ♪ 2179 01:33:20,928 --> 01:33:25,866 ♪ You and I ♪ 2180 01:33:28,302 --> 01:33:33,074 ♪ You and I ♪ 2181 01:33:33,641 --> 01:33:35,343 WOMAN: You are loved. 2182 01:33:35,343 --> 01:33:39,280 This feeling is always inside of you. 2183 01:33:39,280 --> 01:33:42,717 ♪ And all I could ever see ♪ 2184 01:33:42,717 --> 01:33:45,920 ♪ All I could ever want ♪ 2185 01:33:45,920 --> 01:33:50,458 ♪ All I could ever need Is you ♪ 2186 01:34:04,271 --> 01:34:07,041 Hey. 2187 01:34:07,108 --> 01:34:07,975 What are you doing here? 2188 01:34:07,975 --> 01:34:11,045 Um, I wrote the script about the witches. 2189 01:34:11,045 --> 01:34:12,913 -Honey, that's incredible. -[HONEY GIGGLES] 2190 01:34:12,913 --> 01:34:15,916 -Wow, that's great. -[HONEY CHUCKLES] 2191 01:34:15,916 --> 01:34:18,319 How-- how did you know where I live? 2192 01:34:18,319 --> 01:34:20,855 I stole Peter's contacts, yo. [CHUCKLES] 2193 01:34:20,855 --> 01:34:23,124 You know, you're really nice to me. 2194 01:34:23,791 --> 01:34:25,626 And nice is sexy. 2195 01:34:25,893 --> 01:34:26,694 Nice is sexy, yo. 2196 01:34:26,694 --> 01:34:28,796 ♪ I learned this 'cause I've been nicer to myself ♪ 2197 01:34:28,796 --> 01:34:31,899 ♪ And now I see it See I'm like a little tree ♪ 2198 01:34:31,899 --> 01:34:33,200 ♪ I need to nurture myself ♪ 2199 01:34:33,200 --> 01:34:35,302 ♪ With some happy Little thoughts ♪ 2200 01:34:35,302 --> 01:34:37,004 ♪ And that's what I did yo ♪ 2201 01:34:37,004 --> 01:34:38,639 Da-da-dum, blossom. 2202 01:34:38,639 --> 01:34:39,573 [CHUCKLES] 2203 01:34:39,573 --> 01:34:41,575 Do you want to go on a date? 2204 01:34:42,276 --> 01:34:45,212 -More than ever. -[CHUCKLES] 2205 01:34:46,547 --> 01:34:48,049 [GASPS] Ta-dah! 2206 01:34:48,049 --> 01:34:50,484 -Aw! -We're so proud of you. 2207 01:34:50,484 --> 01:34:51,419 Yeah! 2208 01:34:51,419 --> 01:34:52,920 You're the orgasming champion! 2209 01:34:52,920 --> 01:34:55,156 -HONEY: Oh, thank you. -And the masturbating champion! 2210 01:34:55,156 --> 01:34:57,491 I'm not sure who I was competing against, 2211 01:34:57,491 --> 01:34:59,026 but I'm glad I won! 2212 01:34:59,026 --> 01:35:01,195 I want to light a candle for our friendship, 2213 01:35:01,195 --> 01:35:03,631 'cause I'm really grateful for you guys. 2214 01:35:03,631 --> 01:35:05,733 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 2215 01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:07,668 [LIGHTER FLICKER] 2216 01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,810 I heard this music and it made me think of you. 2217 01:35:17,278 --> 01:35:20,881 [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING] 2218 01:35:23,284 --> 01:35:27,655 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2219 01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:29,990 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2220 01:35:29,990 --> 01:35:34,195 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2221 01:35:34,195 --> 01:35:36,430 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2222 01:35:36,430 --> 01:35:40,868 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2223 01:35:40,868 --> 01:35:43,270 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2224 01:35:43,270 --> 01:35:47,475 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2225 01:35:47,475 --> 01:35:50,010 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2226 01:35:50,010 --> 01:35:53,114 ♪ A kiss good night A kiss by darkness ♪ 2227 01:35:53,114 --> 01:35:56,050 ♪ A kiss to all the end Of rain ♪ 2228 01:35:56,050 --> 01:35:59,386 ♪ To stall this night To stall this darkness ♪ 2229 01:35:59,386 --> 01:36:02,823 ♪ To stall this night To the end of days ♪ 2230 01:36:02,823 --> 01:36:06,994 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2231 01:36:06,994 --> 01:36:09,463 Cut! [CHEERING] 2232 01:36:09,730 --> 01:36:13,300 ♪ Don't you wanna know That magic is real ♪ 2233 01:36:13,300 --> 01:36:17,104 ♪ Don't you wanna have Something to feel ♪ 2234 01:36:17,104 --> 01:36:17,972 ♪ One life ♪ 2235 01:36:17,972 --> 01:36:22,176 ♪ And the world Will open doorways ♪ 2236 01:36:22,176 --> 01:36:24,612 ALL: I love my pussy! 2237 01:36:24,612 --> 01:36:28,983 -Yes to orgasms! -ALL: Yes to orgasms! 2238 01:36:29,183 --> 01:36:32,019 Yes 2239 01:36:32,019 --> 01:36:34,722 to orgasms! 2240 01:36:34,722 --> 01:36:38,025 ALL: Yes to orgasms! 2241 01:36:38,025 --> 01:36:41,729 Masters and Johnson taught us that an orgasm was just, 2242 01:36:41,729 --> 01:36:44,632 you know, like, up, down, like, quick. 2243 01:36:44,632 --> 01:36:47,568 It isn't. You can train yourself 2244 01:36:47,568 --> 01:36:49,103 to have an extended, 2245 01:36:49,103 --> 01:36:53,641 massive orgasm. Isn't that amazing? 2246 01:36:54,141 --> 01:36:55,576 Who here would like to learn 2247 01:36:55,576 --> 01:36:59,313 how to have an extended, massive orgasm? 2248 01:36:59,313 --> 01:37:01,315 [ALL CHEERING] 2249 01:37:01,315 --> 01:37:03,684 Who here would like to learn how to have 2250 01:37:03,684 --> 01:37:05,920 an earth-shattering orgasm? 2251 01:37:05,920 --> 01:37:09,256 [ALL CHEERING] 2252 01:37:09,256 --> 01:37:14,595 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2253 01:37:18,265 --> 01:37:19,967 I tell my pussy that I love her. 2254 01:37:19,967 --> 01:37:23,204 I love you, pussy. I love you. I love you so much. 2255 01:37:23,204 --> 01:37:27,775 You're a sweet, sweet, sweet little puss. 2256 01:37:29,543 --> 01:37:34,215 ♪ I will believe in you ♪ 2257 01:37:35,716 --> 01:37:40,988 ♪ And I will believe in us ♪ 2258 01:37:41,989 --> 01:37:47,528 ♪ And I will believe That all of this is true ♪ 2259 01:37:48,796 --> 01:37:55,202 ♪ And I will believe in us Tonight ♪ 2260 01:37:55,202 --> 01:37:56,070 ♪ Tonight ♪ 2261 01:37:56,070 --> 01:37:59,707 ♪ Just for once don't you wanna Know magic is real ♪ 2262 01:37:59,707 --> 01:38:02,176 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2263 01:38:02,176 --> 01:38:06,413 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2264 01:38:06,413 --> 01:38:08,849 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2265 01:38:08,849 --> 01:38:13,120 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2266 01:38:13,120 --> 01:38:15,456 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2267 01:38:15,456 --> 01:38:19,560 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2268 01:38:19,560 --> 01:38:22,062 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2269 01:38:22,062 --> 01:38:25,532 ♪ A kiss goodnight A kiss by darkness ♪ 2270 01:38:25,532 --> 01:38:28,502 ♪ A kiss to all the end Of rain ♪ 2271 01:38:28,502 --> 01:38:31,939 ♪ To stall this night To stall this darkness ♪ 2272 01:38:31,939 --> 01:38:35,309 ♪ To stall this night Till the end of days ♪ 2273 01:38:35,309 --> 01:38:40,547 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2274 01:38:55,963 --> 01:38:57,164 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2275 01:38:57,164 --> 01:39:01,969 ♪ Just for once Don't you wanna know ♪ 2276 01:39:02,703 --> 01:39:03,737 ♪ Just for once ♪ 2277 01:39:03,737 --> 01:39:08,275 ♪ Just for once Don't you wanna know ♪ 2278 01:39:08,475 --> 01:39:12,746 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2279 01:39:12,746 --> 01:39:15,115 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2280 01:39:15,115 --> 01:39:19,286 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2281 01:39:19,286 --> 01:39:21,722 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2282 01:39:21,722 --> 01:39:25,826 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2283 01:39:25,826 --> 01:39:28,329 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2284 01:39:28,329 --> 01:39:32,399 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2285 01:39:32,399 --> 01:39:35,002 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2286 01:39:35,002 --> 01:39:39,006 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2287 01:39:39,006 --> 01:39:41,642 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2288 01:39:41,642 --> 01:39:45,846 ♪ Just for once don't you Wanna know that magic is real ♪ 2289 01:39:45,846 --> 01:39:50,084 ♪ Is real is real is real ♪ 2290 01:39:54,722 --> 01:39:58,926 -[ALL CHEERING] -Presenting 2291 01:39:58,926 --> 01:40:00,060 pussy! 2292 01:40:00,060 --> 01:40:02,062 [ALL CHEERING] 2293 01:40:03,060 --> 01:40:07,062 Fixed by MoviesLover.. 163995