All language subtitles for Femina Ridens aka The Laughing Woman (1969 uncut).ENG

You really hurt me this time.

All right. See you next Friday
at the same time.

Ciao.

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

...far more deserving your grants.

Like the one I attended.

- That's true
- No, that's a logical choice.

I'm sorry to say the decision of
the Executive Committee,

it's not been on your favor.

But... didn't they consider my position
with the firm?

I could repay the foundation in less than
a year. The amount I'm appropriated.

The question of your reimbursing the money
that you misappropriated didn't arise.

It's a matter of principle.

A philanthropic foundation like ours
can hardly open its doors to a manager

who's just pocketed $100,000
of its funds.

- You surely see that.
- I wonder, sir,

if I could appeal it all
to the Board about the case.

You know as well as I do that the decision
of the Executive Committee is irrevocable.

You have every reason to be grateful that
the matter hasn't been taken to the authorities.

The last thing we want is a scandal.

I've thought better of you.
Now if you'll excuse me.

No, I really can't.

You know I'd be there if I could.

I'm so sorry it hangs you up.
Right the last moment, doesn't it?

Oh, wait! Hold on a minute.

Hold on!

But sugar,
it's not my fault, is it?

I've got a bad fever,
all of a sudden.

It's my liver. That's what it is.

What?

I'm at the doctor's.

Where do you think I am?

Oh, no. Of course it isn't
the question of the money.

I feel it my head's splitting.

And that I am in a sweat
all the time.

Oh, I know.

Put it off until next Friday, hm?

Bye.

I'd like to speak to the director.

- Miss Erickson is here.
- Who?

- Miss Erickson. She's from the
press office. - Ask her to come in.

He'll see you now.

Ms. Erickson.

- I understand you're from publicity.
- Yes.

- I don't see to recall the name.
- I've only been working here a month.

What's this all about?

I am sorry I had to bother you.

But I have to have
better material for that story

on male sterilization in India.

I'd like to write a professional
artical so much.

I'd only be too happy if you had them,
but I've got them at home.

- I can drop by and pick them up.
- I wouldn't worry.

- I'll bring them in on Monday.
- I hate to insist.

But I was hoping to get the article
completed over the weekend.

You have a very odd way
spending your weekends.

I'm seem to concentrate much more
on those two days.

Feel like to shut myself off from people
and not be destructed.

Are you personally for
or against sterilization?

I'm all for it.

A man who already has
two or three children

is perfectly well onto
this sterilization program.

Why should the women always be the one
who have to take precautions, pills, etc.?

The pill has no lasting effect while the
sterilization means permanent incapacity.

It's barbarous, monstrous.

I agree of course the great increase in
population must be held and checked.

But only by means which will do no harm
to the importance of the male.

It can be done through sound
educational programs.

A practical appealed responsibility.

Publication and definition
of various methods.

And if that doesn't do the trick
then that's the proper use of the pill.

It is essential that the fertility of
the man should remain absolutely intact.

- Do you understand?
- It's far from my personal opinion.

You'll have the report written
to your satisfaction.

I sincerely hope so.

- So may I have those publications?
- Well, if you must.

The house is not that easy to find.
Please, be there at half past eight.

Thank you, I will.

I don't really understand what these are
all about but they're charmingly decorative.

They were painted by a missionary,
they're copies of blocks of

microscopic slides of,
various types of bacteria and protozoa.

Bubonic plague.

Leprosy.

Typhus.

Cholera.

Carbuncles.

Tetanus.

Diphtheria.

Rabies.

What's this one?

Trypanosoma brucei.

- It disintegrates the brain.
- Oh, how awful.

- Would you like a scotch?
- Yes, thanks. No ice.

- Do you like my little collection?
- Yes, it's very interesting.

I've never thought to imagine that
you're going in for something like that.

We haven't known each other
for very long.

The only thing I know about you is
that you are very enthusiastic,

young journalist.

I know a little bit more about you.

You are a philanthropist,
you are a bachelor,

and you have a very impressive
collection of daggers.

They are not very unique really.
Except of one or two pieces.

This one for instance.

From Florentine, 15th century.

It's said to belong to
Giuliano de' Medici.

There is a groove inside
for poison.

Please, untie me!

From an aesthetic point of view
your position is perfect.

You form a long superb,
curving line against

series of upright bars.

- You are feminine like that.
- You are mad!

No, my dear,
It's not me who's mad.

It's you and
all the other women.

You want to rule the world!

You have been planning to make
yourself so self-sufficient.

Social and sexually self-sufficient.

I don't understand a word you're saying.
Stop this you're out of your mind.

We've already set to collect sperm
from the healthiest

and more intelligent
men and deep-freeze it.

So that in 10, 20 or 50 years,

a woman can pick the child
she wants.

Brown or dark.

Blue eyed or brown.
Brilliant, athletic.

Football fan, music lover.

What is it matter if his father's dead?

The other live men
in full sexual fight.

What about them?
Does she care about them?

Not on your life.

All she wants is a test tube of sperm
needle labelled.

To be chosen from a rack
like a new pair of gloves.

Oh, please, please.
Make yourself think.

Let me go.

And you won't even have
the unpleasantness

of seeing your stomach
pregnant and swollen.

Four weeks after fertilization...

they'll be able to deposit the thing
in a special machine.

Yes, they are working on that, too.

And then back you'll come 8 months later

and pick it up when it's ready.

Stop it!
You're hurting.

Female rabbits have already been taught
to reproduce by parthenogenesis.

All on their own.
Without any help from the male.

And they breed exclusively
female offspring.

And you women will learn
to reproduce like that.

Nothing but females. A world
populated by women alone.

... Ares with Mars on ascendant
tends to produce homosexuality.

If you were born on one of the
last days of the month

these inclinations towards inversion
will be confined to the subconscious.

Taurus with Venus on ascendant
will phane narcissism and masturbation.

The tranquilizing influence of
the full moon at the moment of birth.

Channels the unrealistic onanistic
instinct toward extroversion.

Gemini with Mercury on ascendant will
accentuate masochism and sadism.

If you were born during early morning
hours, your tendency will be

towards masochism
with sublimation of sadistic urge.

Cancer with the Moon on ascendant
highlights necrophilia.

However, as the subject will rarely find
occasion to indulge in this practice,

most Cancerians will be drawn to
scopopilism as a satisfying alternative.

If the Moon was in the first quarter
at the time of birth,

these tendencies would be manifested
in a perfectly straightforward way.

You've been listening:
"Sexual aberrations and the stars".

Good morning.

Good morning.

How would you like to make love
with him? You'll find to enjoy it.

You can use that femininity of yours.

Now, put your arms around him.

- Hug him!
- No, no!

Hug him, I tell you.
Tighter!

Kiss him.

On the mouth.
On the mouth!

With more lust,
more desire to him.

Are you deaf?

Now make love to him.
Love him hard.

You're supposed to move up and down.

Grasp and groan.

Yes, very good.

He is resisting of course because
he is invulnerable.

You will consume him and destroy him
like you do other men.

Very gently, my dear.
And very carefully.

I want you to use
the tips of your fingers.

And pay very special attention.

That's enough. Now further up.

Ankles take more energy.

Rub harder!

Harder I said. Haven't you
any strength in your arms?

That's better.

Now the other leg.

Good girl. You're taking orders
in a right way.

Now you've got the right spirit.

We must face the fact that
you are my slave.

I can do everything to you
for my pleasure.

Kill you, if I want.
Do you understand?

Do you understand?
- Yes.

Please, take me back to town.

I swear I'll never say
anything against you.

Nobody will ever know
anything about it.

I've done everything you
wanted me to.

I can't stand anymore.
Let me go.

But why? Why not? I am nothing
to you, I am no one exceptional?

You? It's just happened
by chance.

You've taken a place of a victim who was
not able to come at the last minute.

The lucky girl was off colour.
A liber attack.

Since I had to have a woman
for the weekend.

I saw that I mustn't overlook the fact
that I had you. At an arm's reach.

Drink it. It's not drugged.

It's too soon yet to kill me, isn't it?

It's lots more fun
to be squeezed out of fate.

Pity to waste it, you fiend!

I swear I won't utter a word.
I'll go on like nothing had happened.

But no, you won't believe me.
Oh, I see. Why take the risk?

It's so much simple to kill me.
Just for the excitement of it.

You're sick.

This can't be the first time. It's only
one of your many amusing weekends, isn't it?

How many other women have you tortured?
Tortured and killed? Then disposed off?

You may as well admit it.
What difference does it make now?

Well. Say something!

At least have the courage
to look me in the eye.

Coward!

Why don't you kill me now?
Here I'm. I'm ready. Kill me!

What are you waiting for?

Mind handing me, my cigarettes.
They are in that box on the sideboard.

I'm waiting.

Coming.

How could you ever think
I can be such a fool?

You're stupid.

I set a little trap for you
and you walked right into it.

You need to cool off a little.

Turn around.

I said turn around.

You cannot imagine the pleasure it gives
me to watch a woman in a grip of fear.

How I'd love to experience everything
going on inside you at this moment.

The superior glands are secreting
a greater discharge of adrenalin.

The adrenaline's contracting the blood
vessels, slowing the circulation,

and producing in your face
that livid pallor.

At the same time your blood pressure
cardiac rhythm are intensifying.

Your heart is pounding and
an aching emptiness

fills your stomach.

The sweat glands are overactive.

Your hands are moussed
with cold sweat, clammy,

and the salivary glands seemed
to be switched off,

Your mouth is dry, your throat
hoarse and raspy.

Your tongue...

cleaving to the top of your mouth
as you taste the bitter taste of gall.

Your personality no longer exists.

You will know only bind
to obedience.

I'll give you any wild order I desire
and you would obey me, won't you?

Yes.

To have under one observation

a woman prisoner at death's door,

is of course a spectacle
of rare charm.

But it's even more exciting to know
that there in her brain

beneath the crest of terror
looks filament of hope.

And this is where the pleasure
comes in,

to nurture that little thread of hope
and then...

at the moment when the victim is
under the fond delusion that

her life is saved...
crush it under foot.

- How many women have you killed
- I've never kept count.

Quite a few, I suppose.

- Do you? Have intercourse with victims?
- Yes.

And at the moment of climax
I killed them.

- Have you always had sex this way?
- Always.

And you have never wanted in
any other way?

You don't seem to understand why you
are here, it's not to conduct an interview.

Don't worry. I'm not likely to use
this for a news article.

I only wanted to see if the time it
comes to you to switch to another game.

- What do you mean?
- Stop it while there is still time.

Until now you've got no woman
but you can't go on and on.

The same tortures,
the same screaming...

At the end the victims all want
to looking like the same woman.

And blood is still only blood.

I'm sure you can't keep on
getting the same thrills.

Even if that were true...
I have no alternative.

But you have.
Think about it.

You're attractive, you're rich
and you're intelligent.

You could have
all the women you want.

You can have them
without any effort at all.

They'd love it and you could make them
lust for you.

Oh they'll suffer all right.
You can probably drive some to suicide.

Believe me, you don't necessarily
have to torture and kill

to satisfy your sadistic drives.

There are other techniques which are
just as enjoyable and a lot less dangerous.

- Interesting.
- Yes, it is.

One day you will discover
the woman you like in a new way.

A special way. And she'll become
the woman of your life.

You'll be happy.
You'll be cured.

- Ah, so you want to cure me?
- Yes.

Admit that you only want to save
your skin.

No.

I want to help you to get better.

I'm not afraid of death.
I believe in reincarnation.

- Hindu or Pythagorean?
- Hindu.

That's interesting.

You must get over it.

You must free yourself from
these complexes and fears.

Have faith in your own virility.

Think of how exciting that could be.

Think of the satisfaction

of dominating a woman with your
superior strength.

With your attractiveness as a man.

Try to imagine the beauty of
love-making in the open.

In a field, on a beach,
in a high grass, in the water.

Oh, it can be wonderful in the water.

- When do we begin this cure?
- Now.

It's a summer night.

Sent flowers from the garden.

The gate leads into a dark,
deserted park.

I'm waiting for the man I love.

I'm shivering of excitement.
Oh, I'm so happy.

Now he's coming
and he's smiling.

I can feel strong arms hugging me.

I feel like a kitten
in front of a fire.

I'm tingling. I'm light
as a feather.

It's as if I've
plotted out the world.

Oh, c'mon now.

That hearts of flowers melody doesn't
suit you a bit.

You expect me to seriously
react to such a performance.

Oh, you do better if someone sexier,
more dynamic, more...

Forget it.

You'd better think of your after life
now that you're so close to death.

Think what you're going to be
in your new reincarnation.

A man? Yellow or black?
A Persian cat or a sewer rat?

Or an eagle?
A laughing hyena perhaps?

No, you reincarnate to a scorpion.
Female naturally.

A huge, voracious, deadly
female scorpion.

Shut a woman in there
and she go mad

and die in an hour or two.

I have never tried it but it should be
quite a test of endurance.

You won't be able to make
the slightest movement you understand.

I dare say you will find it difficult
to be able to breath.

You'll find or you can work your
hands nice.

In here one can go absolutely mad.

And eventually die.

A whole trick of survival
is immobility.

Absolute immobility of the body.

- No, please!
- Mustn't panic.

I should spare you that ordeal
for the moment.

We have other things for you
to get into.

Ah, here we are. I think
you will find this more comfortable.

Would you like to play something?

Let's hear you then.

Don't stop.

You whore!

I haven't done anything.
What's wrong?

No!

You hurt me? Let me go!
What are you gonna do now?

Go ahead, kill me.
Kill me!

I'd rather die now
than go out of my mind,

waiting to be murdered.

What are you waiting for?

I can't stand any more.

I can't stand.
Kill me.

Kill me!

Mary.

Mary!

Mary!

Mary!

Come on, try to drink.

You're doing good.

Come on.

Good, try to drink.

You've got to move around.

You must try to walk
to the stairs.

You must try. Try harder.

No, keep walking.
You must stay on your feet.

Come on. That's it. Keep walking.

That's right.

Come on, that's it. That's it.

Why did not you let me die?

Try to relax.

- How do you feel?
- Better.

I feel a little warm right now.

It's all over now.
I won't hurt you anymore.

That's what you say now
and you probably believe it.

But you're still going to kill me
so you killed those other women.

I've never killed anyone.
The photos're all staged.

Tomato sauce blood, just like
a grand ol' box of tricks.

The women are all part of it
for the money.

I normally spend the weekend
with them. They help me to...

Iron the quirks
out of my nervous system.

I went over it in my head last night.

That's the first time I ever
had kidnapped a woman.

For the first time I had
a real woman in my hands.

First time it was not fiction,
it was real.

You cannot imagine
how exciting it was.

I would finally put out my hand,
touch my obsession.

Kill a real woman.

Just at the moment...
I've raised those scissors.

Anyway I couldn't do it.
I failed.

You know...

I think I like you better
with your short hair.

Now don't move.

Come here.

No, no, please.
Not here.

- You know how scorpions make love?
- No.

Just as they are about to reach
their climax the female eats the male.

I saw that happened once
when I was a boy.

I must have been 12 or 13, I suppose.

I thought they were fighting.

My father explained all to me.

It came as a terrible shock.

I picked up a rock...

and pounded it, pounded that
treacherous female to a pulp.

I couldn't get the sight out of my head.

I was convinced that was
how all women make love.

Eat the male.

Good to see you back, sir.

Do you wish to go straight
to your table?

Or with the young lady
you'd prefer to visit the castle first?

I want to look around at first, ok?

The dwarves slept here.

They were sort of court jesters.
Now look.

Go in.

About 400 years ago there was a duke
who can never get a sleep.

So he's call the dwarves in
during the night.

They'd come through that passage.
And they had entertain him.

No, no...
Somebody might come in.

You don't need to worry.
Nobody ever comes up here.

We're lost.

How do we find our way out
of all these rooms and corridors?

- We'd like to go to the restaurant.
- This way.

For you.

Cats always come to me.
They seem to know me.

This one feels I love him.

Extraordinary creatures.
So beautiful, sensual, so gentle.

And then suddenly they scratch you.

When I was a little girl

a cat fell in love with me.
I mean it. He really did.

He looked at me in that
mysterious way, cats have.

He come running up
behind me and suddenly

leap on my shoulder pearing and brushing
his whiskers all over my ears.

He had long, long whiskers,
so sexy.

Whenever he found me in bed
he almost made love to me.

No, really?

- You don't believe me?
- Oh, yes, of course.

He pressed his little claws into my tummy,
but without ever hurting me.

He'd nuzzle his hot little nose
into my breasts

Purring like a hive of bees, his eyes
shut tight, his whiskers all fingertips.

Cats feel with their whiskers,
did you know that?

- Did you know that?
- I know, yes.

He'd fan my legs with his tail...

trembling all over.

You care to order?
It is Pâté monsieur, to start.

Oysters perhaps?
Ah, mademoiselle

the oysters are sensationnel,
really très bonne.

Fried oysters and a little green salad.

Fresh green salad and oysters.
Perfect choice.

Monsignor, your order?

Monsignor?

Monsignor?

Your order?

Monsignor?

Try to imagine the beauty of
love making in the open.

In the field, on the beach,
in the high grass, in the water.

It can be wonderful in the water.

Think of the satisfaction of dominating
a woman with your superior strength.

With your attractiveness as a man.

You must get over it.

You must free yourself from
the complexes and fears,

Have faith in your own virility.

One day you'll discover a woman
you like in a new way.

A special way. And she will become
the woman of your life.

You'll be happy,
you'll be cured.

I must get over this fixation.

It's true I'm complex with my panic.

I must have faith in my virility.

Go, all right?

Without a hitch. Word for word
as you described it.

It was a synch for you though

You knew everything that was
going to happen before you started.

I suppose so. When you told me
he once had a coronary

I knew exactly what I had to do.

Anyhow. I'd lost one of
my best customers.

He was like the rest, poor idiot.

They're thousands more, you'll find
as many that kind as you like.

They'll pay whatever your ask,
to beat you up,

humiliate you, to feel superior,
like tin Gods.

But you shouldn't take their insults
as an abuse.

You should learn to hit back and destroy
them at their own game.

In time you will find to enjoy it.
Good night.

The big statue of a woman is
the reproduction of the works of

Niki de Saint Phalle, Jean Tinguely,
Per Olof Ultvedt.

The main decorative elements
are a tribute

to Claude Joubert,
"Plexus" Giuseppe Capogrossi.

Subtitles: mitbrille
Karagarga@2014