Original subtitles

Fuck me.

What?

Fuck me.

- Right now? - I'm cold.

Okay.

Under the covers.

All right. What?

Hey, pin my arms back.

Pin your arms back? Like...

Yeah, hold them back.

Hold your arms back?

- Yeah, just... - Like that?

Pound me.

Pound you. Okay.

Now, fuck... Pound me. Monty.

Yeah, no.

- Okay, hang on. Just let me... - It's hard...

Actually, let me hold it with this arm.

All right.

- Ow, ow. It's kind of hurting. - Okay, sorry.

- Come on. What... You're so... Wiggling. -Here we go.

- Stop wiggling. -I'm trying to just get it so that I can pound you,

but hold this at the same time.

Okay, fine, but you're like, being, like, all squishy.

Okay, there we go.

Okay, now pound me like we're behind a tree, and we're naked,

and we're only wearing helmets and a family's walking by.

Just do it like that.

I don't want the family to see us.

Put a pillow over my head.

Okay, but...

Yeah, well, I... I need the other pillow underneath me.

Okay. Put it over.

Okay, now pound me.

And then you want me to hold your arms up?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- There you go. Okay. - Really hard!

There you go.

- A family? - Yeah, just...

- The family's watching? - Yeah!

- Here we go. - Yes!

This is your captain.

- I can't. This is... - Monty, hard, like a man!

But I'm saying, do you want me to still pin your arms?

No, uh... Uh... Take the pillow off.

What? I can't understand anything...

- This is not working. - What?

I don't know what's wrong. It's just not working.

If you're tired, you should just go sleep on the couch.

- Okay. - Just...

I need the blanket.

Monty, I need the blanket.

Om...

Mmm... Now, that's a rock.

Mmm-hmm.

I'll be out in a minute!

Lizzy, my hands are ready.

Okay, coming.

- Okay. - Okay.

I got to get going to this thing.

That's what I'm talking about.

Lizzy!

What? What are you talking about?

Nothing, forget it.

Lizzy, are we gonna do this thing?

I should go in there.

Coming.

Move that shit!

I'll get it.

- Oh, hey, Monty. - Hi.

Hi. Heather, how are you?

You look nice!

David is so excited. He sounds so good.

He's doing so good.

Do you think... I mean, do you think he has it? Like, it?

Yeah. Definitely.

- Thank you so much for saying that. - Mmm-hmm.

I'll tell him. David! The Mastro's here!

It's maestro.

David's upstairs.

Hey, would you do me a favor?

I hate to ask you this, but the gardener must have moved this pot or something.

I just want to get it right back over here.

I just... I can't get it to budge.

Would you mind?

- What? - Would you mind?

Yeah. Oh.

Great. Thanks.

One, two...

- Three! Right there. That's good. -

Thank you so much.

- It's heavy. - I appreciate it.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, David! Muffin! Monty's here!

- Do you want to just come in? - Yes! Yes, of course. Um...

Ugh!

- Want to take a little break? - Yeah.

All right.

Scootch, Scootch, Scootch, Scootch, Scootch.

See, that's the thing with music, David.

Sometimes you just have to take a step back

and really contemplate what it is that you're doing.

Monty, it's your mother.

Good news. Almost unpacked.

I think it's good to be in a new city.

Not away from you, but I found a box of your things.

The movers mislabeled them. Well, I guess I'll just wait.

Grossman Kelly Financial, Peter Sheacraig's office.

We did it. Eight million.

Mil-li-on. M-I-double L-I-O-N, my friend.

Pesos? No, dollars. Eight million dollars, man.

I know. I'd... Hey, wait, this...

Hold on one second. Hold on.

Hey, buddy, how are you? Sorry, you are here about?

I'm here to talk to you about the business loan.

You know what? I'm so sorry to do this to you.

It's been a really crazy day for me.

I had some pretty good things just happen to me.

Um... And, um, could we reschedule?

I kind of triple-booked myself.

- You... You... - Paul, hey.

I know, it's insane, right?

Eight million.

No, what can I say? These things happen, my friend.

Yeah. We're where everyone else wants to be.

Hey, it's me.

Look, it's just that it's been fucking three years, Monty.

It's been three years. It's crazy.

And then you've got all these crazy ideas, and I just...

I need... I don't know what's real anymore.

I don't... I... My client is here. I have to go.

Monty Fagan, this is Walter Stern from Le Petit Bel Ami.

Unforeseen events have resulted

in the necessity of an alternate pianist for the evening,

and your name was brought to my attention.

You're to wear a suit and arrive early.

Hi.

Oh.

Yes, ma'am. Mmm-hmm.

Mr. Strasburg's suite is now $3,000 a night.

Other hotels of our caliber in Beverly Hills are suitable.

All right, consider it done.

You call me. Don't call the front desk.

You have my number, right? All right, bye-bye.

Monty Fagan. I'm Walter Stern. You'll follow me, please.

Have you ever been to Le Petit Bel Ami, Monty?

Of course you haven't.

But I'm sure its reputation precedes itself, so I won't bother with that.

What kind of stuff do you like to play?

Well, I like the, uh...

Well, let me tell you, the clientele here have exquisite taste, Monty.

They don't like surprises. They want what they already know is good,

so stick to the classics. Do you understand?

Just because you're playing here tonight doesn't mean the job is yours.

We're simply trying you out.

Our regular guy, Fred Russo, had a heart attack.

- Mmm. Mmm. - Phenomenal player.

Virtually irreplaceable. And luckily, we don't have to replace him,

but we do need to fill the slot until he gets back.

Right.

I said to wear a suit.

Oh, yeah. I was at the bank when you called.

Right.

Next time... A suit.

I will.

- All right. Onto the bar. - Yes. Okay.

Thank you.

Um, I'm Monty Fagan, and this is my first night,

and um, I'll be, uh, well...

This is... I'm here tonight.

He's good.

Well, you were better than I thought you'd be.

As it turns out, we could use you again tomorrow, too.

I'm sorry, what?

I said tomorrow. Same time.

- Really? -Apparently, it takes more than a night off

to recover from a heart attack.

Right, of course. Yeah.

Wow, thank you. Thank you so much. I...

- Don't get too comfortable. - Okay, I won't.

Hi, I'm Walter.

I'm the manager here. How are you?

I... Ocupado!

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Hey, I didn't see anything.

Yeah, yeah, right.

Turn the light off!

All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's so late. Where were you?

Well, I got a call to play at this really classy hotel.

It's called the Le Petit, uh, Mir... Amir... I don't know how to say it,

but you should have seen this place. It was really classy.

The vibes, the drinks. The people were really into the music,

and I got asked to play tomorrow, too.

And guess what? They paid me.

Huh. That's cool.

Mmm.

It's crazy, though. I do think I met the man of my dreams.

Go on.

You see, it's like everything that was missing in my last marriage,

it's here with this one.

What... What was missing?

The sex. There was no sex.

It was like, and if there was, it was just not good sex, you know?

What about you and Monty?

Uh, we're good... ish. I think we're fine.

We're like how we always are.

Are you, or are you not, still fucking?

Um, we're living with my mom, and we're all...

One of the toilets is broken, so we're all sharing a toilet. Mmm.

You guys share a bathroom?

Yeah, and she's in there a lot.

And it's right near our room,

so it's like she's kind of always in our room almost.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.

- Why didn't you tell me this? - Well...

- Yeah, so my cousin Jason's a plumber. - All right.

- He can come over and fix it. - No, you don't have to do that.

Oh, my God, you'll like him, too. He's so cute.

I'd take it from the plumber.

- Evening, Monty. - Evening.

Walk with me.

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah.

Lizzy! No, I'm not gonna talk dirty to you, Sam.

You... You freak.

Oh, here she is. Hey.

- Hi. - Hi.

Uh, you must be Storm.

What?

You... I'm... I'm sorry. You must be Nicole's friend.

- Oh, yeah, hi. - Hi.

- Liz. - Liz!

- Hi. - I am Jason.

The plumber.

- Hey, uh... - Hi, Liz.

- Nice to meet you. - Yeah, hey.

Do they ever let you out?

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

Yeah, you want me to come in?

- Yeah. - Great.

- Sorry, here you go. - Mmm-hmm. There it is.

Well, good thing I'm really fuckin' good at what I do.

Pulled out, um, a lot of corks and a good amount of hair.

Corks?

I don't want to know.

I don't want to know.

The water's running.

You could start taking dumps in here right now.

- That's... -Oh, did I see you look at my scar?

No.

- No, I'm sorry. - No, that's fine.

- But... - Get used to it, you know?

It looks really bad, like it hurt a lot.

It's actually... It healed. It... It did not hurt.

You know, it's actually smooth if you want to give it a touch.

Ooh.

- Smooth. - Yeah.

Hey, Sammy, I got to call you back.

Do you want... Can, uh...

Can I get you some orange juice or lemonade or something?

Yeah. I'll take some orange juice.

That's about the second best thing I can imagine right now.

"Second"?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, shoot. God.

Man, I...

I spilled orange juice all over my shirt.

Well, my room's right there if you want to borrow a shirt.

You think you got an XL?

I'm Monty Fagan. Um... Thank you.

I'm gonna just take a quick break, and then I'll come back.

Bravo, bravo.

What?

I'm Olivia.

- I'm Mo... - Monty Fagan.

How are you this evening, Mrs. Adams?

I hope the drinks arrived in a timely manner.

Yes, thank you, Walter.

Just was coming out here for some fresh air.

It's just such a nice night, and I thought I'll...

I probably shouldn't be out here.

- And I'll... I'll head right back... - Out here's fine.

But the guests are getting restless.

Okay, I will go back in.

Head back in...

Okay, then.

Whoops.

Um... I should probably go back inside.

Do you take requests?

Will you play Meet Me Tonight in Dreamland?

You know Meet Me Tonight in Dreamland?

I will definitely play that for you, yeah.

It was nice to meet you.

Monty?

Yeah?

I need to tell you something.

Yeah?

I gave someone a blow job.

What?

I gave someone a blow job.

But why?

I don't know.

But who?

The plumber.

A plumber?

Yeah.

Hmm.

Marie's toilet's fixed, then?

Thank you, but you know the rules.

No mingling with the guests.

All right.

So, what do you do?

I mean, you know, other than play piano here, obviously.

Well, I play a lot of gigs.

A lot of gigs.

Yeah. And I teach kids, mostly.

Oh. Is that what you want to do? Teach?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I'd like to teach.

You know, I have a piano at my house,

and I don't know how to play it at all.

Not a single... Single note.

Well, you know...

Thought about taking lessons,

but, you know, it feels sort of weird.

- Just having someone in your house. Uh... -Mmm.

I mean, I'm, you know, an adult,

and I feel kind of silly, but I would love to know how to play it.

Have you ever thought about teaching adults?

You are so good.

Oh, you shouldn't be running around town,

teaching kids chopsticks or Fur Elise or whatever.

- Thanks. - You really are amazing.

You think?

Absolutely.

Where is your confidence?

Um...

Oh, my God, I'm sorry, but you are so cute.

I want to help you.

Sit down. Sit.

Sit, sit, sit, sit. Relax. Relax.

It's okay.

Come on. Keep playing.

Let's get back to the lesson.

Why don't you teach me, um, Meet Me Tonight in Dreamland?

Only this time, could you do it slowly?

Mmm-hmm.

- Okay, uh... - Mmm.

You... You...

Oh, God, it's incredible.

Oh, Mr. Fagan, you're so wonderful.

These hands, are you kidding me?

This hand.

I cannot get enough of this hand, and this ass is cute.

Your ass is ridiculous.

- Mmm! Magic Hands Fagan. - Yeah.

- That's what I'm gonna call you. - Olivia...

- You're a young man. -No, no, no, no, no, all right?

You wanted something and you got it.

And you loved it.

I know you loved it. Tell me you loved it.

I did. I...

You don't have to tell me.

I just... I... Olivia, I don't do things like...

- Want to do it again? - No, no, no.

- Let's do it again. - No, no, no, no, no.

- Please. Oh, please, I can't... - We can't do that. I...

- I can't get enough of this. - No, no, no. No, no, I can't.

- Oh, please. I just... Please? - I cannot do that.

- Please come out and play. - Okay, no, no, no, stay...

Olivia, stop! Stop, stop.

Sorry. Will you rub my back, then?

What, honey?

I just have... I have this dream,

but it's a little farfetched at this point.

I just kind of... You're probably gonna think it's crazy.

No.

But I have a dream that I want to open a piano bar.

Oh.

Everybody keeps saying it's a waste of time and it's stupid...

I don't think so. I think you should...

- and they don't understand it. They don't... - ...do it.

But it's just so expensive.

It's just way out of my league.

Hey, if you think that, then it is.

But it is.

It is. I have no money. You know?

Mmm.

And I can see it.

What do you see? Tell me.

I see this cool little spot,

it's like old-meets-new,

industrial, classy, sophisticated.

- But cool, you know? - Mmm-hmm.

The way it should be. It's like the hotel, but not so stuffy, you know?

- I can see you up there. - Yeah?

At your piano, playing every night. Monty Fagan.

At the... Wait, what are you gonna call it?

I'm gonna call it "Monty's".

- "Monty's"? - Yeah.

- That's really risky. - Why?

It's so boring.

Why don't you call it "Dreamland"?

"Dreamland."

Dreamland.

- Yeah, I like it. - You do?

- Yeah, that's good. - People will come.

Yeah? You think so?

- I would come. - Really?

I meant it when I said I want to help you.

Do you still get along with your husband?

I don't know.

We figured out something that works for us. I don't know.

I don't want to talk about Allen.

What are you afraid of? I've seen it all.

What are you doing?

I said I wanted to help you.

- It's just a start. - No, no, no.

- Monty, here, take it. - No, no, no, no. No.

- Fagan, you need to take this. -I don't... Uh-uh, no, I don't.

It's like play money. I have it.

- Yeah. - You need it.

- No, that's very kind of you... - Okay.

- But just, I don't know. Thank you. - All right, fine.

Ah, forget it. These miracle pans,

the eggs never come off. It's like those steak knives.

You know, that guy in the commercial just blew them right out of the pan and...

Hi, I'm Monty Fagan. Hi, I'm Monty Fagan.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. I do play the piano, yes.

Mr. Fagan. Monty Fagan.

This is your day.

Hope you're ready for it.

What are you smiling about? No, wait. Don't tell me. I don't even want to know.

Oh. No. You can't park here, sir.

Oh, I'm your appointment.

What is this?

This is vintage.

There have been some upgrades. They've updated.

You know, they exposed the brick and, uh,

- you know, they're gonna clean this up. -Hmm.

- But it a blank canvas. - Yeah.

You can do whatever you want here. There's a lot of possibility.

Very chic.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Yeah, I know. It's really... It's fantastic.

- It is. And it's a great location, too. -Hmm.

We've just had a little trouble finding the right tenant.

- Mmm. Yeah. - You know?

Wow, okay.

So, is there any wiggle room in that price?

Mmm-mmm.

- No? - No.

Well, there shouldn't be, because it's a steal.

We think so.

And we're all gonna have to have

a pre-qualification letter from your lender, of course.

Mr. Sheacraig, your three o'clock is here.

What's your story?

- Well, I need a pre-qualification letter. -Okay.

- For a business loan. - Okay.

- You're my bank, and I thought I'd... - Great.

Get one from you.

- May I... - Yes. Yeah, sure.

Great, thank you. Mmm-hmm.

Anybody offer you a champagne or anything?

- Uh, no. - Okay.

Dreamland. Dreamland.

Dreamla... I love piano music.

- You're in here about a pre-qual? - Yes.

Great. Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, no. Yeah, no. Well, it's cute.

Plan certainly looks thorough,

and the place sounds jazzy and dreamy.

Oh, motherfucker.

Is something wrong?

Yeah, no.

My fuckin' fantasy team just lost by one motherfucking point.

Mother...

- Oh... - Uh-huh.

Mr. Fagan, I'm gonna level with you,

because I want to be able to help you. Okay?

You seem like a reasonably smart, educated guy.

I don't want to see you rush into something and get in over your head.

- May I make a suggestion? - Yeah.

- Can I be your... Your mama for a second? - Yeah, yeah.

Your over-protective mama.

Save some more money.

I know it's harder than it sounds,

but if you could get some more money together,

and I mean, like, a lot more money...

Then I could help you.

I could make your dreams come true.

How much money?

- If this is how much you have now... - Right.

I would say you would need, like, this much,

in every direction, cubically that much more.

You understand what I'm saying?

You don't look like you believe in yourself, but I believe in you.

Dreamland, Youland, Meland, we land here on the moon.

We can make anything happen, all right?

- Okay. - Go home.

- Yes. Thank you. - All right?

You're welcome. We don't validate.

- You're glowing. - Mmm-mmm.

I don't want to intrude. None of my business, but...

But you are glowing.

Anybody I know?

No, stop. No, don't want to know.

Keep it inside your heart. It's better, darling.

Keep that inside your heart, that wonderful man.

Whoever it is, it's not Monty.

And that's wonderful.

Magic Hands Fagan.

Oh, my goodness, that was quite a lesson last night.

Do you think I could get another one soon?

If you can fit me in, I'll fit you in.

Oh, my gosh!

I couldn't even sleep last night.

I was touching myself thinking about it.

You are so delicious.

- Um, it's $25, right? - Yeah, $25.

Twenty-five big ones.

Hey, Monty.

Uh, I'm gonna stay at Nicole's for a little while.

I'll talk to you later.

It's Liz. Leave me a message.

Hey, um...

This is Mom. M-O-M, Mom.

Oh, Gah... I Fou... Monty, I found a picture of you and Liz.

It's prom night. I have... I have it here.

Oh, what a wonderful night that was. Anyway...

Robbie, cut it out!

Yeah, I moved you into Thursday.

Come here. Outside.

You feel good? You feel good? You look good. You're glowing.

- I am? - Yes, all over.

Feel it. Oh, my God. How long has this been going on for?

Since that day he came over to fix the toilet.

But, um, he's really nice.

And responsible.

He has this clipboard.

He has this list of things he needs to fix, and he fixes 'em.

Oh, my God, I knew it. I knew you were gonna like him.

The sex...

Is...

It's really good.

Oh, good! I'm so excited for you. Yes! Yes! Oh, my God!

Mmm. You're in such a good mood today.

You know, I got a little something for this beautiful hand of yours.

I missed you.

- Hmm. - I missed you.

- Hey! - What?

I said I missed you.

I'm sorry. You... You can't miss me, baby.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't miss you?

- Here, honey. - What is that?

Take it.

So, what?

You're my sugar mama or something? Is that it?

Oh, my God.

It's funny money, baby. It doesn't mean anything.

Olivia, I can't. No.

It's just a little gesture.

See you tomorrow.

Mr. Fagan.

Hey, pal. Peter Sheacraig over at the, uh, bank.

Just want to give you a heads up.

I can see here that your account funds are growing steadily. Nice work.

Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. All right?

Anyway, I got to jump, but stay on track, stay the course,

keep your head in the game,

and we should have no problem you getting that loan and pre-qual.

All right? ASAP, big boy. ASA... P.

That's the end of it.

Again, from the top.

Mr. Fagan, you're so wonderful.

You smell like... Mmm, mmm.

No, don't tickle me. I hate being tickled.

- My hell would be being tickled for eternity. -Me, too.

I can just hear Marie's voice right now. She's just like,

"What are you doing?

"What are you doing? What in the hell are you talking about?"

- Your girlfriend sounds like a troll. - I can just... No, it's...

- As if she, uh... -It's my girlfriend's crazy-ass mom.

She's just like, uh, "Monty...

"Monty..."

And she just... I can hear her. I can hear her in my head all the time.

- Hmm. - She lives with us.

- Oh, God, that's awful. - Yeah.

I... I think it's just not a very, uh,

healthy environment for me, to be honest.

I got to get out of there.

Mmm.

Ow! Don't do that.

Hello?

Hello. I'm Mrs. Gershwin. I'm supposed to...

What?

Uh, Mrs. Gershwin. I'm here to see a Mr. Fagan. I have a piano lesson.

Mr. Fagan? Monty?

Well...

Come in!

He... He probably just stepped out,

but I'm... I'm sure he'll be right back.

- Ta-da! - Oh.

Can I get you a glass of wine while you wait?

You said you were on your way out,

so, no, I don't want to keep you.

Oh, no, no, no, no. They can wait.

Let's have a cocktail.

Okay.

- Over here. In here. - I'd love to.

Have you ever been with a younger man, Marie?

Mmm.

No, I... I... I wouldn't... I wouldn't dream of it.

I'm seeing this one now.

The other night, we went to dinner,

and every time no one was looking,

he would run his hands up the inside of my thighs.

He'd just go slowly up my dress,

and then just slip his fingers into my panties,

just barely grazing...

Ah. Ah! And then he'd stop.

Oh!

Ah!

He drove me crazy.

I don't know why I'm telling you all this.

Oh, no, no, no, no, it's fine. Have some more wine.

Oh, my goodness.

You should try it.

Oh, Robbie.

Mr. Fagan has returned.

Mrs. Gershwin's been waiting for you for her lesson.

I might have gotten the times mixed up.

Oh, no, no, no. I... I just forgot all about it.

I'm sorry about that.

Well, it's very nice chatting with you, Mrs. Gershwin.

Nice to chat with you, too, Marie.

I just wanted to see you, baby.

You what? No, I... But you can't.

Aren't you happy to see me?

Yes, of course. I'm very happy to see you,

but we can't do this here. You can't come here.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Don't be mean.

- I'm not being mean, okay? - Oh, my God, honey.

It is so much worse here than I thought.

You're just way too good and talented to live here.

I don't want you to have to live in this horrible place.

With that horrible woman.

- No. -I think I need to get you out of here.

- I do, too. - Mmm.

Oh, no, no, no.

Please, please, please, please, please, okay?

Listen, I want to show you something.

- Okay, you're a party-pooper. - I'm...

But we can't kiss anymore in this house.

- -As long as we do that, I'll show you the surprise.

- You're so cute. Let me grab my stuff. - All right.

This is it. And inside, it looks so cool.

I mean, it's like... It's so perfect.

And I think I'd redo this. There'll be a valet out there and...

Olivia!

What are you doing?

- No, you can't go in there. That's... - It's open. They left it open.

- That's trespassing, Olivia. - Come on, let's go check it out.

- No, no. - Oh, my God, someone's coming.

No one's coming.

- This is bad. - Ooh, it's dark.

We should run away together.

You want to run away with me?

Yeah, I do.

Baby, you're sweet.

And we could go to Montenegro

or Iceland. Anywhere actually.

You're with me right now.

Why don't you ever talk about your husband?

We have separate lives.

Well, why don't you just leave him?

And go broke? Where's the fun in that?

Well, I'm gonna get this place.

And then you can live with me.

I don't want to have to break in every time I want you.

That was crazy.

It was stupid.

But I'm serious. I just have to save up a little bit more money,

and then I'm gonna get that loan.

- Quite the plan. - Yeah.

I like it here.

I want you to try something on, okay?

It's in the car.

You look so good.

So good.

- I look ridiculous. - What?

- I... - Are you kidding? I love it.

I don't know.

Okay, well, then I can just return it.

Oh, no, no, no.

Hey.

Hey.

It's not the suit.

I just...

I want to be my own man.

Don't be silly. You're an incredible man.

No.

- No. - Mmm.

I don't...

- I'm not... I don't want to look. - Just...

- Okay, one more. - One more.

Wait. I have a good one.

- Okay, it's... Mmm, mmm. - So, can we keep it?

- I like it. - Good.

- Then it stays. - I like it.

Come on, dance with me.

♪ Looking through shattered glass

♪ Watching the days as they pass

♪ And suddenly

♪ Out of the blue

♪ It all makes sense

♪ It's so sad but true

- Thank you, thank you. - Oh, my God!

That was so fucking good.

No, it wasn't.

- Yes, it was. - Thank you.

Woo!

- Yes! - Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!

Mmm!

All right, guys. It's time to do this shit!

- Yes! - Yeah.

Not gonna get more real than this tonight, guys.

It's been nice to see some of the young kids come out for their first time.

Try and take it home.

This is for Liz.

♪ I get knocked down but I get up again

♪ You're never gonna keep me down

♪ I get knocked down but I get up again

♪ You're never gonna get me down

Usually it's a little bit lower there. It's, um...

♪ ...night away

♪ I drink a whiskey drink I drink a vodka drink

♪ I drink a lager drink I drink a cider drink

♪ I sing the songs that remind them of the good times

♪ Sing the songs that remind them of the better times

♪ Ooh!

♪ Oh, Danny Boy, oh!

What's up, Liz?

♪ ...get knocked down but I get up again

♪ And you're never gonna get me down

♪ I get knocked down then I get up again

Oh, but I'll just take the elevator back up. Woo!

♪ Get knocked down!

Uh-oh.

Shh.

Shh. Quiet, Robbie.

Monty.

Monty, Monty.

- Marie, Marie, Marie. - I want you.

- Marie, what are you doing? - I want you.

What are you doing? Oh, God!

- Liz isn't here. - No, no, no, no, no! No!

No, no, no, no, no!

Get... Let me out. Let me out, let me go.

Fuck that! What the fuck?

Boys.

Hello, this is your mother.

Monty, I... Sorry I had... I left so many messages.

I... I... I know you're busy, and when you have a little bit of time,

I'd love to hear what you're doing.

Just don't call me back when you're on that damn scooter,

but could, you know, when you're...

Just call me, will you?

- What the fuck did I do? - Shh.

But Marie, she tried to fuck me!

You said you didn't have anything left. You don't care about things.

Let's go together, and ride off into the sun.

And... And I think that... That we should take your beautifulness

- and my, uh, life at the moment... - Sit.

I want to build Dreamland with you.

Drink this.

Okay.

What is going on?

I... I just... I want to be with you, okay?

- We can't. - I just...

- We can't. - I want to be with you.

Sweetie, we talked about this.

- You mean... - Shh.

Everything to me, but I don't want you to...

But you don't have to say anything.

Olivia!

In here, honey.

Oh, there you are.

I don't know if you've met.

This is my piano teacher, Monty Fagan.

Monty, this is my husband, Allen.

Hi, there. Nice to meet you, Monty.

It's so nice to meet you. Yeah.

Monty was in the neighborhood, so he thought he'd stop by

and get his check from last week's lesson.

We're having a drink. Would you like one, honey?

Oh, no. I'm tired. You two enjoy, though.

Nice to meet you, Monty.

It's nice meeting you, too.

- Be up soon, honey. - Mmm.

♪ La-di-da-da I love my wife ♪

I may have that drink!

You know, a little nightcap wouldn't hurt.

Well, you deserve it, honey, after all that traveling.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I was thinking, uh...

We need someone to play the piano at the, uh, ceremony.

Monty. Monty, sit down, relax. Geez.

"Ceremony"?

Yeah. Olivia and I are renewing our vows, right?

Mmm-hmm.

You know, you look really great.

Thank you, sweetie.

Um, I'm not really sure Monty's into that sort of thing.

Well, why... Why the hell not? He'll be perfect.

Huh? Come on, come on. We'll get you paid out right now.

Don't feel obligated, Monty.

I'd love to.

It's settled.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. Easy there, kid. How're you...

You're gonna drive home like that? Huh?

I drive a moped.

A moped?

- Moped, yeah. - Where do you live?

- Koreatown. - Koreatown?

Oh, God, that's... That's very hip. Yeah, Koreatown.

Can't let you ride all the way back there like this, huh?

Stay in the, uh... Stay in the guest house.

And since you're gonna stay, another drink wouldn't hurt, right?

There you go.

Here.

Feels good?

Yeah. You ever see the guest house, Monty?

No.

Come on, I'll show you. Come on.

You don't mind, do you, honey?

- No, makes sense. -Ah, that... That's it. Attaboy.

Mmm-hmm.

- What d'ya think? - It's really nice.

Sure is.

Lotta guns.

Sure are.

Monty, Monty, Monty, Monty.

Monty, Monty, Monty, Monty, Monty, Monty.

I'm not a fucking idiot, Monty.

I'm not gonna be sitting around with my thumb in my ass,

as my wife goes gallivanting around town with some dog fart like you.

We clear?

Monty the Magnificent, huh?

Monty Magnificent!

The Piano Man.

Yeah, look at that. The Piano Man, huh? Lemme see.

Come on, come on. Lemme see. You know how to play.

That's it, that's it, yeah, yeah.

Here, here. Here, take another drink.

Any dreams you have of running away with my wife,

kill them. They're done.

The love we have for each other...

binds us.

Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, now.

No, you got to hear this.

You're not the only one, Monty. I mean, really.

You... You are just not the only one,

so don't make a fool of yourself.

Attaboy. Attaboy.

Oh, there's some, uh, extra blankets in the trunk if you need one.

Mr. Fagan, it's Walter Stern from Le Petit Bel Ami.

I just wanted to let you know that Fred's back.

Fred Russo, that is, and he is better than ever.

Remarkable. Really remarkable, his recovery.

Anyway, we won't be needing your services moving forward.

Take care. I bid you adieu.

Oh, look at me, Monty.

How about that?

What happened, Monty?

Did those fruits kick you out of the piano bar?

Wait. Don't tell me.

I don't want to know. I just want you to fuck me.

I just want you to fuck me.

Oh... Oh.

- Morning. - Hey, babe.

You scared me.

Can you give me a back rub?

On my back.

Sure.

Mmm.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh.

Well, well, well. The maestro has returned. A round of applause, Robbie.

By the way, T, your time is up.

What's this?

What's what?

Is that the letter from Lizzy you got there?

You have any idea what it could be about?

Wait, don't tell me. Of course you don't.

You don't know anything but yourself.

You never ask,

"Hey, where are you going, Lizzy?"

Well, I'll tell you what, Monty.

She was going to meet someone else.

- Marie. - Can you believe it?

- Hey, Marie. - Huh?

- Would you just be quiet for one second? - Poor boy, Monty.

Don't you feel bad for Monty, Robbie?

- Hey, Marie! - Doesn't even know

when his girlfriend starts a new relationship.

- Marie! Marie! - It's in the letter, I'm sure.

Just say it like that.

All you do is talk, talk, talk, talk, talk!

And you know what? Nobody fucking cares.

Why don't you let your fucking dog out of the cage?

Because it's fucking dying in there.

Excuse me?

Get your little toy piano and get out of here.

Should I get out? Okay.

- Yeah. - All right.

Hey, Marie, you know what?

What the fuck are you doing?

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, you wait a minute.

- Come on. - You wait a minute.

- Don't take my dog! - He's gone.

- What are you doing? - He's gone!

Gimme that dog!

Stay, Robbie.

I got it!

- Monty? - Heather.

What are you doing here?

It's the weekend and you... You've been canceling all your lessons with David.

I'm not here to see David.

God damn, you're beautiful.

- What? - I just...

Oh, whoa! Okay, Monty, that's...

- Nice? - Whoa, Monty.

- Hey, what the fuck do you think you're doing? - No, no. I... I don't know.

What...

My boss is out of town. I'm just looking after his office right now.

Oh, hey! We got the house in, uh, Puerto Vallarta for the summer.

So you... You guys come down and have 'Rita with us, okay?

No, I don't drink. I'm five days sober. Okay, goodbye.

How are you, Mr. Fagan? You look very sharp.

- Nice watch. - Thanks.

- Mr. - Sheacraig. -Very big boy.

It's your mother on line two.

Unfortunately, our policies regarding this type of loan

have changed since the last time we spoke,

which means that even with the money that you have,

um, we're gonna have to decline your loan, Mr. Fagan.

I'm sorry, but I wanted to be...

Be up front with you. I like you.

- Close the accounts and give me my money. - Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Now, I'm not sure you want to do that, Mr. Fagan.

Look, you... You've done an excellent job of saving up money,

- and I think that to remove it right now from... -

Gimme my fuckin' money, Pete. All right?

If that's what you want, that's what you get.

Baby gets his bottle.

But it's silly.

Unfortunately, we're not supposed to allow in dogs.

He's a service dog.

- Oh! - Yeah.

- You're all set. - Great.

All we need is a payment. We accept credit cards.

You took the towels to 304. It was 303.

- Cash? - Mmm-hmm.

She asked for them an hour ago.

- Straight cash? -WALTER: Right now. Go right now.

'Cause I think, um, what?

- That should cover it. - Monty.

- Hmm. That should... -Just give me the change later.

- Doesn't matter. - Monty.

- Yes? -What the hell are you doing here?

I left you a message saying that Fred was back.

Is this man causing trouble?

Uh, he's actually here for a room.

For a room?

- A room. - A room.

A room, a room, a room.

This is my favorite photo in the whole hotel.

Classic Bu... Classic Bugatti.

Oh, I've got to show you this.

This is... This is fabulous.

We actually just had this installed.

- You... You... You're gonna love it. - Mmm.

Oh.

What are you still doing here?

Monty.

Monty? Where are you?

Are you okay? You took Robbie.

I know everything's fucked up.

I've been really shitty recently.

Um...

I'm still your friend.

If you ever need anything.

Bye, T.

Yes, I'd like to make a dinner reservation, please.

I beg your pardon.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, for one.

A dirty martini.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed that

as much as I did playing it for you.

I'm Fred Russo.

Gonna take a little break.

I'll be right back, and it is so good to be back.

Thanks again.

- Whoa. - Yeah.

Hey, it's all about choices, dude.

You know, like what notes you play,

when you play it, how you play it.

Twelve notes in an octave.

- Monty? - I finally got you.

I haven't heard from you in weeks.

I'm going through the house,

and I got to get rid of a lot of things,

and I thought you might like some of your things.

And then I have your...

Your baseball...

So... What's that thing? Softball...

Ninetee... Yeah.

You know that cutout they did of you in uniform?

Yeah.

And still have the little tapes that you made.

There's one of you playing piano when you were a little boy,

and it says here, it says,

"Monty at the piano with Daddy."

- Do you remember that? - Yeah.

Geez, I've got your glove, and I've got your artwork.

Do you remember you did a picture of Zeus?

- Do you remember that? - Yeah.

I still have it, but I didn't frame it. God, I...

You know, it's hard to go through things. It really is.

So many memories.

Makes me...

Makes me feel it just went too fast.

You were such a wonderful...

Monty, you were so sweet, funny.

Do you know, I just wish I could have you for one day as a little boy,

and we could run around, and we could go shopping and just go to the movies.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Not too much pressure, but I do hope you come and visit,

because I think we can make new memories here.

You seem very busy, and that makes me proud.

I am very proud of you, Monty.

- Monty? - Monty?

I used to wake you up, remember that? Like that, singing. Oh.

Monty, are you okay?

Yeah.

Monty?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that would be really fun.

I'd like that a lot.

- Sweetie, uh... - Yeah?

You know I don't want to intrude on you and...

But it's awfully nice just to hear your voice.

No, no, no, you're not intruding.

I just want you know I think about you all the time,

and I hope you're well, and I hope you're doing everything that you love,

and, uh...

And just check in every now and then, okay?

I love you, Monty.

I love you, too.

- Okay, bye. All right? -Okay, okay, okay. I need to go.

Call me soon.

Okay, Monty. Bye.

All right, bye.

You're a good person, Robbie.

Monty?

Oh, dear God.

Fred... He had another heart attack.

And, well... We all lost him.

I just got the call, and...

Monty, I'm sorry, it's just...

I need you.

Fred would have wanted it this way.

The job is yours...

if you'll take it.

Monty. Monty Fagan.

I didn't think you'd make it.

I respect that.

Respect!

Who is it?

Fagan. Hi, baby.

Aw, I'm glad it's you.

What is that? That's not the white one.

I'm, uh...

Trying something new.

Huh. What happened to your face?

Nothing.

You want a drink? Let's have a drink.

It's a celebration.

- A toast... - Celebration?

To great times and crazy nights and...

And the end of one chapter, beginning of another.

To, um, fresh starts. What? To what?

Come on, help me out here.

To us.

What is up with you?

Oh, God. You are being such a bore.

I... I don't have time for this, okay? Not today.

I mean, seriously. Nothing has changed, okay?

Allen's got trophies all over his walls. I can have one.

Olivia!

Come on, sweetheart.

Come on, baby!

I can't do this anymore.

Okay. Okay, babe. Okay. Okay.

Hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

Hello, everybody.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Monty Fagan,

and I will be the new piano player here at the hotel.

It's Joanne, right?

Joanna.

Yeah.

Do you mind if I sit down?

Sure.

I'm Monty, by the way.

Yeah, I... I signed you in.

Yes, you did.

It's not a real service dog, by the way, the dog that I...

- Oh, really? - No.

- Yeah. - You got me.

That's so dumb.

- Well, not officially yet. - Oh.

Just filling out the papers, all the red tape and...

So you're making it right?

- I am. - Good.

- Trying to. - Cool, that's all I can ask.

- Cool. - Cool.

So how long have you been working here?

- Five months. - Five months, wow.

- Two days. - Two days?

- That's totally official. - You're there.

I'm there. Maybe one day, I'll be... Concierge.

Wow, concierge.

Maybe one day I'll own a hotel.

Well, everybody has a dream, right?

Tonight is my first official night

playing at this beautiful hotel.

And you could join me if you wanted to. You could watch me.

And, on top of that, Walter gave me some drink tickets.

Actually, they're not drink tickets.

They're just these coasters that he initialed his name on.

Sure.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- All right, cool. - Let me see them, though.

- It's... Yeah. - Seems good.

- Yeah. - Shall I redeem these?

They're never gonna let you in in that T-shirt, just so you know.

My deepest condolences to the family and friends of the late, great Fred Russo.

I'd like to honor him with my own request.