Original subtitles

"I am a witch."

"My eyes cast black magic."

"I wander in the darkness of night."

"My aura will instil fear in you."

"Witch. - It's my reincarnation."

"Witch. - It's the end of your story."

'CHURAILS'

1. FIDELITY...

'Once upon a time, a lawyer, a boxer,'

'Once upon a time, a lawyer, a boxer,'

'a wedding planner and a murderer got together.'

'And they realised'

'that all their lives, they'd been mannequins.'

'Mannequins'

'clothed in your honour, for your honour.'

Your honour can go fuck...

Watch your tongue, ma'am.

No, madam. Tell us the full story...

From the beginning...

In order.

Okay, mom. - Here have this.

Make sure you finish it!

Dad, I'm leaving. - Hold on.

Wait for your brother.

Come on, dad. I'm just going to college.

And sending Munna as my bodyguard everyday...

it looks cheap.

And I'm wearing a burka. So, what's the problem?

'On one hand, my dad's sandal.'

It looks cheap? Shameless girl!

Want to tarnish my reputation! - 'Size 11.'

'On the other hand, this 11 year old bull!'

'Munna by name, my brother by relation.'

Dad, do you know what sis does after college?

'And by profession'

'my bodyguard and blackmailer.'

Dad, sis attends tuition after college and works really hard.

That's why she comes home late.

Mirza Asadullah Khan Ghalib...

was a prominent poet of the subcontinent.

Ghalib lost his parents at a very young age.

He was raised by his uncle, Mirza Nasrullah Baig.

But when he was 8, even his uncle passed away.

Nawab Ahmed Baksh Khan had fixed an allowance...

for Ghalib's family with the British.

Oh my God!

Zubaida!

'The witch that lives inside me...'

Zubaida, don't do this!

'Has always been slightly out of control.'

'And why wouldn't she be?'

'Girl. Poor.'

'And if that wasn't enough, they named me Zubaida.'

'Of all the names in the world...'

'Zubaida!'

Oh my! Dongle 420!

Oh wow!

Six pack. Oh God!

"Those were the days; We would count coins!"

"We'd smoke cigarettes..."

"We didn't have a care in the world..."

"I teach everyone a lesson, I'll bury them!"

"I am like the crocodile in a cat fight..."

"I indulge in hanky panky, don't be so sentimental!"

'Here, Zubaida would tear into the poor punching bag...'

'And on the other side of the bridge...'

Stop! Sameer!

Okay, come on, Sameer. Here, sweetie.

I don't want, mommy.

Breakfast...

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Morning, guys.

Morning. - Hey there, buddy. How you doing?

Morning! - Dad, stop! Dad.

Hey, sweetheart. How you doing?

What you up to?

Morning. - Morning.

We need to do something about the garden.

Oh, I'm on it.

I have shortlisted five gardeners.

They'll be here for an interview tomorrow.

But please Jamil, be nice to who we hire.

If they work properly.

Grace!

Grace!

Can you take this please? Thank you.

Listen, do you want anything from New York?

Barneys? Bergdorf?

You fly tonight!

I didn't put it in my calendar.

I'll pack your navy blue pinstripe and tangerine tie, yeah?

You know I love you. - Of course I do.

Ew! Yucky, daddy.

You're yucky!

Hey! Don't do that. Stop! - You guys!

Please. - Stop, the lot of you! Stop it, right now.

Leave it, Jamil. - Now.

This is our home. It's not a pigsty...

where dirty, filthy... - Please.

And you! You're supposed to lead by example.

Kiddos, you know I love you.

But we've to be the best versions of ourselves.

Right?

"Keep flying, without a care..."

Sameer, behave yourself. - Mila!

Mila, he's pulling off my glasses.

What's going on? Enough!

Chocolate.

Mummy, you always say...

that we can't have chocolate in the morning. - Well...

Mummies get a free pass sometimes.

You're supposed to lead by example.

When you pop three monkeys out of your tummy...

then we'll talk.

Mummy. - But I'm a boy.

I can't. - Yes, dear?

Akbar told me...

that babies don't come out of mummy's tummy.

You push them from the...

We cannot suspend a child on that basis alone...

Mrs Khan. - Last week...

told Amal that a boy's 'nony' is called a penis.

I mean, we didn't know it was called a penis up until...

Times are changing, Mrs. Khan!

We actually encourage parents...

to use the correct biological terminology with the children.

This is highly inappropriate.

Please. I need you to bring Akbar and his hippie parents in...

so we can have a meeting. - This is no legal matter, Mrs. Khan.

And even if it was...

it's not like you're a practising lawyer anymore.

Go home. Relax.

Take up knitting.

It can be very therapeutic.

'Asking a full time mother, who left her career for her kids'

'to take up knitting, is wrong.'

I'm so sorry. I'm really so sorry.

I don't know what happened. - Crazy bitch!

So we've Amal's piano lessons on Monday...

Salaar's karate, and Sameer's English tuition.

Thank God they don't press charges, or suspend children.

IN TAGALOG Control your rage or it'll control you. - Yes, yes.

Putting aside your perfectly nice family...

Was this your idea or somebody else's?

Boss, when you do this heavy duty work yourself...

something tingles inside me. - Shut your mouth, Dilbar.

These? What are these?

I said purple dendrobiums with green carnations.

I even sent the pictures from Pinterest.

What flowers are these?

Hydrangeas. - What?

Jugnu, madam!

Crap.

Imported from Singapore. We got a great deal.

I'm only getting married once.

Lifetime marriage. I don't want cheap deals.

I want something meaningful.

Mummy, say something!

My baby wants soul!

Aunty...

Hydrangeas ooze soul.

Carnations represent weakness.

You want your lifetime marriage to be strong, don't you?

Obviously! - Then why would you on the very first day...

I mean, it's okay, I can um...

Have carnations delivered in two hours.

It's not a big deal. - No, this is fine.

Sure? Because I could fill this place up with carnations.

We want hydrangeas. Right, mummy?

Yes, sure. - Yeah, we're fine.

Okay, great then. Go get your Sabya on.

Fucking soul.

Yes boys, what's the scene?

"The boy is a bit offbeat..."

"But he is very sweet with girls."

"He is insolent, and a fraud, this tweet has gone viral."

"But you are a sharp knife, good at making fools..."

"We have made preparations for your wedding."

"Everyone is dancing, and rejoicing together..."

"Everyone is dancing, and rejoicing together..."

"Live it up!"

Boss...

Congratulations.

After this one, we complete our hundred events.

We should celebrate... Golden, silver jubilee type.

We hit a hundred.

Feels like yesterday we were having our first wedding!

"He is insolent, and a fraud; This tweet has gone viral."

"But you are a sharp knife, good at making fools..."

Don't put your mouth to it.

"Everyone is dancing, and rejoicing together..."

'Fucking hydrangeas.'

'Five years ago, I'd an eighty percent share'

'of Karachi's wedding market.'

'Then I got so distracted by my marital issues'

'that the gays in this city took over most of my business.'

'And whatever little was left of it...'

'I dropped a chandelier on it myself.'

How do the January bookings look like?

We've the Jofas right after Christmas. - And?

Durranis confirmed for January? No?

Yes, I was about to inform you.

I called them for the advance...

but they've decided to go with Ro and Ho.

Ro and Ho!

Ro and bloody...

I hate them. - Yep.

Fucked by fairies.

Story of my life.

Jugnu, the finances aren't looking good.

Fight stand! One, two...

Three, four, five...

Six, seven, eight...

Nine, ten, eleven...

Twelve, thirteen, fourteen...

Fifteen, sixteen. - Upper cut, baby! Upper cut!

Oh, thank you. Didn't they've those...

you know, the chocolatey flakey things?

Okay, never mind!

He can do better, right?

I mean, I know he's my son.

And he's just seven, but check out his forearm block.

You can do better! Salaar, I know you can do better.

He can do better.

Only if I was a bloody gay man.

All my money worries would be sorted.

You know, everything is going so smoothly.

Which is great.

But I have so much time on my hands.

Jamil is never home.

So I was thinking...

that I should start practising law again.

I had to fire everyone.

I'll have to leave the club too.

But I'll miss being all this.

I'm so resourceful.

And I can multi-task. I should.

Break the board, Salaar!

Come on!

I should just move to Islamabad.

Start afresh.

I should talk to Jamil.

Yes, I should tell him...

that I want to do something new.

I want to achieve something new in life.

Break the damn wood, Salaar!

He's done better. He's done better.

Jamil is crazy about you, okay?

Talk to him, he will understand.

And you go do you.

Find yourself that courtroom, and do...

'Objection, Your Honour, and...'

'Ooh, milord!'

We don't do, 'Ooh, milord'. - Really, sweetie?

I think that is the real issue then.

Listen, Islamabad is for socially awkward freaks.

And you're Queen Jugnu, man.

If you killed ten people at the wedding, almost...

They didn't really die!

People will get over it. Don't worry about it.

You are right.

I am the Queen.

Jugnu Chaudhary is the Queen of this whole damn jungle.

This shit isn't working!

Come on, baby!

You can do it, honey!

So your friend was after money...

What were you after?

I love those earrings on you. - Thanks.

You got them. - I know.

That's why I love them.

I was... Thank you for entertaining Shanwari at the party today.

Due to your irresistible charm, he'll now invest in my campaign.

You're the perfect wife.

'Perfect wife.'

'Fuck you, perfect wife.'

After this campaign stuff is done...

let's go on a holiday. You and me?

We'll leave the kids with mummy. Capri?

I was thinking, I should start working again.

Work?

What do you mean work? You've not worked in years.

Yes, that is why...

I was just being anxious. - Are you unhappy?

No, of course I'm happy, silly.

I'm just happy anxious!

If it's because of that principal...

then the bitch totally deserved it.

Plus we're in the clear, so there's nothing to worry about.

It's not that.

What is it then? I am here.

Yes, you are.

But I don't think I'm fully here.

I mean, it's just an idea.

But it'll be nice, using my skills to excel in something else.

Push my boundaries.

Push your boundaries as what?

Who'll hire you?

You know what I mean.

I am a qualified lawyer.

Yes, but you're...

You're rusty.

And family law, is it even law?

Work in an NGO...

Part-time. You know, baby steps.

Yeah, you're right.

Part time NGO sounds good.

'This is what it boils down to.'

'Soft. Mouldable.'

'Colourful.'

'Shape us as you deem fit.'

And to make the lives of these elite types even more colourful...

you jumped right in.

As if we didn't have...

enough thieves and junkies in the building...

Now even murderers are going be our neighbours!

They should have hung her.

Bloody witch!

'This little devil was spying on us.'

'Looks like he's an informant for the police.'

'We have to get out of here.'

'And before going,'

'we'll need to get rid of him.'

'Make sure they don't escape.'

'I was all set to end things...'

'But right then...'

'My fucking caseworker made her entry.'

She lives alone. No husband or children.

You won't have much work to do.

It's very hot, may I get a glass of water?

'Who doesn't love a second chance?'

'Fate, boss.'

'Fate.'

"Surrounded in smoke, where are you off to?"

"No one is listening to you..."

I'm Batool. You needed a maid?

"Am I thinking, or have I lost it?"

"Dawn in darkness; What are you saying?"

"If you are crazy....?"

I can't iron clothes.

Cut some amount from my pay.

It's fine.

There is that bag over there.

I took some old clothes out for you, take them.

No need.

You hired someone like me, that's more than enough.

Someone like you comes cheap.

Cut the amount from my pay.

How does it feel...

To be free?

You thought I was free?

There are vacant rooms in the house. If you want, you can stay here.

I'll think about it.

Alright, think about it.

Good night.

Bitch.

"I manage to read your eyes."

"I steal everyday, and sing songs."

"Sometimes I just throw my heart away..."

"I bathe in tears..."

"I flow like the wind at night."

"We'll have to fool mother today..."

Did you have sex with her?

Speak! - No, sir. I...

I respect her a lot. I wouldn't... - You respect her?

That's why you sent her naked pictures on Tinder, motherfucker!

Not naked, sir.

Topless.

This is their doing. It was all their plan!

Come here!

Hey!

You keep this...

for your safety.

If I say something...

I don't know what you'll think of me.

What will I think?

You're lovely. You'll always stay lovely.

You can tell me anything.

I want to be a boxer.

Boxer? Like Muhammad Ali? - Yes.

When those gloves are on my hands...

and I'm throwing punches...

I have never felt more alive.

Even I do something that make me feel alive.

I hack accounts...

Over the Internet. Online.

I crack people's passwords and I browse their internet history...

Sorry, I...

I know this is not right.

Why do you do it?

Honestly, I'm damn good at it.

But also, because it gives me meaning.

It feels good connecting to these random strangers.

But I never misuse their information.

I just use what I know of them to say things...

that will make their pain a little less.

Wow, biceps!

You turned out to be even more messed up than me.

If I offended you... - No.

You didn't.

Close your eyes. - Hmm?

Close your eyes!

Imagine my face...

Swollen.

Maybe a tooth missing...

Wounded...

Will you still find me lovely?

Yes, absolutely.

Awesome.

'Ninja.'

'Witch.'

'First rule of boxing.'

One, two.

'Never underestimate your opponent.'

You slut! - What are you doing?

You've shown your true colours! Show it. - Let me go, dad.

No. - Let it go!

Dad, don't.

Let go.

Showing your worth.

'I spent my week's tuition money to pay for new gloves.'

'My brother missed out on his bribe'

'and took revenge.'

What is this?

Where are you going?

Come here!

Where are you taking the phone? Give it to me.

Give it to me! - Dad.

Dad, give me my phone! - Let it go! Let go!

What's in it?

Dad, my phone. - What's the password?

Give the password! - Come on!

Give it!

"Send all pictures to printer."

Munna! Come here. Explain this to me.

This monkey it's being shy.

And this is aubergine. - Aubergine?

And these eyes that are staring and these sweat beads.

Sis is trying to say that she's very shy...

but looking at his aubergine is making her sweat.

What nonsense are you talking! - Oh God!

Check the photo gallery. You'll understand everything. - You dog!

What is it? - You whore!

'Second rule of boxing.'

'Find a way to keep breathing.'

Go to hell! - Take this!

Get lost!

'Who knew'

'that the murderous witch, would be my guardian angel.'

'As mothers we often encourage our sons to create the world.'

'But never wonder'

'how our daughters will survive in that world.'

Hi.

"You, who stay awake at nights..."

"Why do you hesitate to let us fall asleep?"

"Whenever we come in front of you..."

"We are not djinns."

Looks like we're having a party.

From Larkana to LA...

75 women got dirty messages from him.

Huh... - Seventy five!

And in the last three months...

20 girls sent him their pictures.

Nudes? - Some.

That means one third of my entire life...

has been a complete lie?

That's like 33 percent... - Why are you doing so much math?

What? - Your kids are not a lie!

They're beautiful and you love them.

Salaar and Sameer will probably grow up to be like Jamil.

Cheating rascals! And Amal will turn out like me.

She won't even know what's happening right under her nose.

Honey, you're grieving.

You need to mourn.

Moan? Why should I moan?

Mourn, not moan.

But you could moan too, if that's what you want.

I don't want to mourn. I want...

Do you remember Sabeeka?

Her husband was caught cheating last month. - Oh, that.

Humaira, Zulekha...

Annie, Aliya...

That's like five names in the last... - No more maths.

All the wives brush it under the carpet.

All pretending to be happily married.

So many men, and no punishment?

There should be some kind of payback. - Payback?

Yeah! Like a compensation.

'Sorry, wifey. My penis lost its way home'

'and I owe you for the rest of my life.'

First of all, any man who is cheating...

will never admit to it. - Unless we catch him red-handed.

How will we do that? What's the plan?

Will we follow them with binoculars? What?!

That's it!

That's what we'll do.

For fuck sake! You've gone nuts.

You need to stop. This is the hash talking, not you.

No, no, this is me talking.

The me inside me is talking!

Let's do it.

Let's grab these men by the balls.

I love ball grabbing. But, honey, you're not serious.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. - I'm so sorry.

Did you like it?

Yeah.

Hold it.

But, I... - Go for it.

Go for it. Come on, come on!

Yes! Go, go!

Yes!

Brilliant.

Yay!

Are you having fun? - Yeah!

Is everything alright, ma'am?

Yes, all good. You go.

I need some water for Zubaida.

Shall I mop?

Who is this Zubaida?

And what is she doing in my house?

Her father beat her up.

Had to bring her here.

So... - See this is what I'm saying!

Sometimes fathers, sometimes husbands!

You need to stop talking this moment. - Who are you?

Who's she? - My maid. I told you! She just got released from prison.

What were you in for? - Murder.

Whose?

There was a bastard who needed to be taught a lesson.

Go from here. - See!

This is what I'm saying! - You need to stop saying that.

Should I mop? - No man, I don't want anything mopped! Go!

What's wrong with you?

Can we trust them?

With what?

One has killed, and the other one was about to get killed.

Exactly.

Aren't they just so perfect?

Enough, Sara. You need to stop smoking this, okay.

What?

Wha... Sa... What the...

Sara!

Were you all high?

That wasn't it.

After a long time...

I finally had clarity about everything.

If a crime isn't illegal per se, is it not a crime?

Does it not require justice?

If you suspect that your husband is cheating on you...

and you want proof, you call us.

Pay us according to your means...

and leave the entire investigation to us.

Investigation?

Count me in, ma'am.

You hold it, Phoolan!

And you have gone mad.

The grief has driven you mad!

Listen, I am talking big money here.

This could be an end to all your financial troubles.

Give me the joint.

You think desperate housewives of Karachi...

will spend money on this?

They spend money on Botox, lawn and jewellery!

But now they'll spend it on this.

When we give them concrete proof of their spouse's infidelities.

Trust me.

Bigger divorce settlements...

mean more lawn, more Botox, more jewellery!

And with what we earn from these cases, we can help...

the more vulnerable women.

Those who get harassed and abused on a daily basis.

No one thinks about them.

Not even the police but we will! - But for this...

you need money...

computers for spying...

cameras, where will all of that come from?

We'll figure that out too.

All figured out!

Larkana to LA!

No. - Yes, yes, yes baby!

No. - If we're going to do this...

we've to do it whole-heartedly. Okay?

You will have to go to your husband.

I don't want to involve him.

I don't want him to know all this.

He's not going to know anything!

Because Miss Innocent...

will turn naughty...

by opening up a 'niqaab' shop.

That's a 'burka', sweetie.

Whatever, keep up with the programme.

Yeah?

'Either fate had brought us together under one roof for a reason...'

What? - 'Or it was that magical spliff in our hands.'

Whatever. - 'But that was the moment'

'when we transformed into some other creatures.'

'Churails' (Witches)?

Yes!

Good morning! - Morning, darling.

Where are the kids?

I sent them out with Mila.

I was telling the boys last night...

that my wife makes the best...

What...

Listen to me, babe.

Oh no.

You listen, babe.

You'll stay in this house, but will move to the guest room.

And the empty commercial building, that's in your name...

You'll hand that to me.

From that building, I'll start my business...

that you'll also fund for me.

What kind of business?

Jugnu and I will open a boutique.

In return, you can run your campaign peacefully.

For the world, you'll stay my husband. I, your perfect wife.

Who provides wholesome clothing to other perfect wives.

Are you seriously going to blackmail your husband?

It's tasty! Have it!

How can we trust him?

Trust takes time, boss.

But...

Phone.

This is my...

How?

You won't find a hacker as good as me.

He's mine. He won't break our trust.

Boss.

Not my place to say, but...

What if this creates a ruckus?

We'll only be helping women, Dilbar.

How will that create trouble?

Where are the arms?

Oh, this with the summer stuff...

Here.

'Perhaps we were fooling ourselves.' - Have a good day, okay?

Run along. - 'But those early days...'

'It was the happiest any of us had been in a long time.'

"What am I doing?"

"I slept off on the shores?"

"What is the fear about?"

"I've been to the graves!"

And you didn't see the danger that was coming your way?

Someone died because of you, madam.

And now, someone from your group is missing.

Kidnapped on your watch!

"What am I doing?"

"I slept off on the shores."

"Why am I scared?"

"I have been to graves."

"The stars have spoken."

"One more!"

"What am I doing?"

"The sceneries have seen!"

"What am I doing?"

"The graves have seen."

"The stars have spoken. more!"