Original subtitles

Right, Candice don't like me no more. I don't even know why,

but that’s cool, because I just gonna replace that with Ola...

I trying to get my life together.

I'm gonna change boyfriend. That’ll take time. That's okay,

but it will look something like that.

Look, I can't be with no guy that ain't kept a job for more than a week

in his life, so this one is gonna be smart, yeah?

He’s gonna have his own place. Drive a car like whoa.

A businessman, know what I mean?

He’s a tiger, but can also be gentle, like Drake.

Home is basically sorted, I'm here, gonna surprise my Mum.

She's gonna be bare haps, and then I gonna sleep in my bed.

[theme music plays]

So, what’s the problem?

[Cynthia] I just need you to enter the kitchen.

[Joy] We have mice, again.

If you leave food all over the place as gifts for rodents,

don't complain when they...

Where were you? All I want to know is where were you.

Worshiping in Israel. I told you!

-Who with? -[sighs] Jesus!

-Where in Israel? -Where Jesus grew up, mum.

-Where was that? -Palestine.

When I was a child, my mother would always know when I was lying.

-Yes, but Mummy, I'm not lying. -[Cynthia hushes]

Mother.

What happened to the white boy?

This is the same Caucasian man whose face Tracey sat on.

-[bed creaks] -[muffled screams]

So, you don't have the koala, so how is this working, please?

She's right. You don't have the koala.

Tracey. This boy...

We're hardly even friends.

So, if you've still been on the straight and narrow...

-Yes. -...you can prove yourself by committing

to Church of Joy Ministry. I've taken over the community hall full-time.

I'm going to take it worldwide.

I even have a flier.

I'm giving you 1,000. Return to me with none.

What, that's it? Then I can move back home?

You can also heal a sick person

and speak in tongues by the power of the Holy Spirit.

They are things only the anointed can achieve.

And if you succeed, it will be my proof

that you are telling the truth about your time away.

And upon completion, move back home and restore peace upon this household.

Really great work, Joy.

Er, Mum. Mum.

[Joy] Now go.

[Tracey] Alright, look. I hear words, yeah?

I hear commands. I see strings.

Mum says, "Hand out some fliers, 1,000"? Cool. That’s a string.

Mum says, "Speak in tongues"? That’s a string.

Mum says, "Heal the sick"? String.

Do you know what I'll do with them strings? Pull them.

Like a farmer milking the five penises of a cow.

I pull them things and things just happen. It's gonna be fine, guys.

I'm gonna move back home, gonna take my binbag, unpack that....

Oh, Ola. Flier.

Hey, hey. Nice piercings. Got that for fashion, yeah?

Jesus got His piercings while he was busy dying for you.

-Don't you feel bad? -Fuck off.

Cool.

-How many have I shifted now, please? -You gave me one three hours ago, so one.

Cool. Cool, cool.

Oh, Connor!

Yas!

Tracey?

-You alright? -You alright?

-Oh, right. Yeah? -I’ve never done that before.

That's...

-[phone rings] -Emma.

Better go. See you later.

[Ola] Hey, Mr. Keys!

[keys jangle]

[speaks gibberish]

-Fucking renegade Honda Civic. -Yes, yes, Honda Civic!

Mercedes Benz?

Mm-hmm, Nissan Micra!

[both laugh]

[Ola] You're homeless, and so happy about it!

I beg you, Keys. Keys!

-Hmm? -I beg you, take the flier.

[groans]

-Jesus loves you. -Damn. Only Jesus?

I don't know, maybe your friends and family--

It's just a joke, I was joking by way of flirting.

[groans] Hetero.

Anyway, back to the flier. Yes, soul needs saving.

Want to take some for your friends?

As long as that's not all I take.

-What? -He wants your number.

I'm Ash, by the way.

-You're very handsome. -Oh, thank you.

Don’t say "thank you". It’s not good or bad. I just saying.

-Got a job? -Yeah.

-For more than one week? -Three years.

-Do you live with your mum? -No, I proud to say I own

-my own penthouse apartment. -Are you dumb or smart?

-Well, that’s subjective. -Did you finish year 11?

-I’ve a degree in finance. -Cool, drop call my phone.

Drop call my phone,

-07700... -Yeah.

...900...

305.

-[phone rings] -I doing it.

That was easy. Connor replaced me, I replace him.

String!

[phone continues to ring]

End the call. Why are you still calling the phone?

It’s a drop call. End the call, man.

-Thanks a lot. -Ah!

Fliers, for your friends? Your friends and your family?

♪ Handed out all my fliers, replaced my boyfriend ♪

♪ Handed out all my flyers, replaced my boyfriend ♪

-She's not here. Sorry. -I don't mind.

From previous experience of this situation,

if you say something like, "Okay, I'll ring her,"

or, "Fucking bitch, she made me leave the house for fuck all, fucking..."

-And by that point-- -Do you wanna go shops?

Yeah? Cool. Let's go, then, innit.

-Why? -I wanna get sweets.

-But why with-- -What's the problem? Have I not known you

since you were, like, one?

-We’re friends, innit, so-- -Are we?

-I don't have any, so I don't-- -Look, do you know what?

I get the message, yeah? Hope you're good, yeah?

I just don't feel comfortable leaving the estate.

Alright. Well, I'll come back for you in a bit, yeah,

and we can go to mine and just chill or something, alright?

Okay.

Cool.

[Ola yelps]

Now, I just need to develop feelings for... What's his name?

-[yelping] Ash! -Ash.

-Ash. -Ash. Then, I gonna walk past Connor

-with my new boyfriend. -[phone rings]

"Your skin is so smooth, I want to devour it.

Wink, X, X".

-[moans] -Now...

how do I heal a sick person so that my mum

will let me move back home without God on my side?

Because I really don't think he's on my side with this.

It’s very hard to heal someone without, you know...

-Spiritual powers? -The NHS.

-Done. -Hey! Yas, yas!

Ola, hey! Give it to them!

Give it to them, give it to them.

Ola, my mum doesn’t know you very well, does she?

I suppose not.

Right, so I'm thinking, what if you pretend you're sick,

walk on the square, I pray for you,

bish, bash, bosh, you’re healed, I'm home, amen?

-Okay. -Really?

-That's what friends are for. -Ooh!

You are much better than Candice.

-And more beautiful, I know. -You are.

What's the problem between you two?

Oh, I don't know. Sometimes, we just don’t talk.

It’s been like that since we were babies.

-[Candice] I not talking to you. -I'm not talking to you either.

You're talking right now, you dumb bitch.

[Cynthia] I want Tracey.

Well, I happy being your replacement for Candice.

I know, once all your mess is sorted,

we'll go back to old times when we don't know

anything about each other. I know.

Let me do your plaits so you look nice for Ash.

Okay.

What?

What you playing at?

Tracey don’t come round, so you drag her sister around instead?

I didn't drag her, I took her.

Well, you can't just replace one sibling by another.

She's my friend, too, Nan.

[Esther] You okay there, love?

You didn't have to take your shoes off, you know.

I don't know how it works in other people's houses.

I'm like that, too. Nervous in new places.

I'm generally always nervous.

Oh, well, that's not good, is it? We'll soon change that.

I don't want to change it. It keeps me safe.

So, we just sit here?

-Yeah. Chat, bounce, innit. -Chat, bounce.

Hmm. May I ask, to what end?

We just chat, bruv.

So, there's no structure, no intention, you just

open your mouth until you discover you have something to say?

-Cynthia, just chill, man! -I can't!

-Course you can. -Go on, go on.

Okay. Well, I was reading Church Weekly the other day,

and there was an article about how the media has failed the church

and I completely agree.

Very few people know how to have a good discussion

about God without being met with "that's stupid".

[laughs] It's so funny, you know.

God is everywhere. There have been leaps and bounds

in quantum physics that showed us the world is not what it seems.

But then again, I've always found that people that try to use

quantum physics in theological arguments generally don't know much about it.

I am certainly no expert at that stuff either, so...

[nervous laugh]

-[Tracey] Thank you. -Pleasure.

[jazz piano plays]

I fucking love jazz.

Oh, yeah, it's alright. I've never really bothered

with this kind of thing, but it’s cool, yeah.

-Do you sing? -No. Do you?

Well, no, of course I don't.

-I like Beyoncé. -Oh...

-So, where are you from? -London.

No, where are you from, from?

-Oh, Tower Hamlets. -No, where did you come from?

Um... Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel.

[both laugh]

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, of course! That's what people do when conversing.

See, I like this guy, man, because he's intelligent, you know?

My man could've just said "chattin'", but no, he said "conversatin'".

-Hit me. -What do you want?

Like, I alright, I like my face and that, yeah,

but you're slightly on a different level. You're a bit magaziney.

Oh, come on. This face! These features, it's like...

It’s like you've been kissed by God.

-Connor... That's my-- -Your ex. Yeah. I know that, by now.

Yeah. Well, he used to say I was beautiful, but I never believed him

because he's dumb, but you're smart, so... Yeah. I'm gonna take that.

Sometimes, you know, I have quite a bad opinion of my appearance.

-Also, because my ex friend-- -Candice.

Yeah! Yeah. Okay.

She used to say I was more like Jay Z than Beyoncé,

-and she was my friend. -Yeah, but come on, she was just jealous.

And I've not an iota of interest in Beyoncé.

Okay, we're taking Beyoncé off the conversating menu, if that's okay.

-Mm. -[Tracey] What?

It's like chemistry.

-It’s happening now. Can you feel that? -Oh yeah, yeah.

-I think we should just kiss, don’t you? -Okay.

[Afro-Cuban jazz music plays]

[Ash exhales]

[Ash moans]

Oh my God, your tits are so gorgeous.

Oh, they're so black.

Um... I dunno...

Fucking gorgeous.

Fucking gorgeous.

Mm, you want this white dick, you naughty little black bitch?

You want this white cock on your black tongue?

Yeah? You've been a bad little ni--

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa!

What? What? What have I done? What?

-You said some stuff. -What?

-You don't know? -No!

-[exhales] -No, I was just excited.

Sorry, what exactly did I say?

I'm gonna see what time my bus is coming.

No... Tracey! I thought we really had something here.

Okay, basically, this is my first black girl experience.

I do not know what I said, but I wasn't in control of it.

Well, maybe you should keep your mouth closed, yeah?

In case something dodgy comes out, again.

How you gonna look that deep in my mouth and breasts and tell me "black"?

Look at my mouth. Does my mouth look black?

There's actually nothing black in my mouth. Look.

Pink, yellow, brown... What's wrong with this guy, man?

[Esther] Talk to Tracey, Candice.

-What for? I’ve got nothing to say to her. -If you wanna shout at her, shout.

-If you wanna hit her, smack her head. -Enough, Nan!

-Holding this in does nothing for no one. -I don’t care about Tracey!

When you were six years old, you gave half your birthday presents to Tracey.

And you said, all profound at six years old--

I said that ugly girls need presents more.

Yes, but you said something else.

You said, "Me and Tracey are part of each other, Nan.

So, it’s her birthday, too."

Go and speak to her.

-Oh, get over it, Nan, I’ve moved on. -[door opens]

♪ I praise you, Lord. Oh, king of kings ♪

♪ I praise you, Lord. Oh, king of kings ♪

♪ And Satan's power will also bow down ♪

♪ To praise the Lord. Oh, king of kings ♪

It's nice to see her being part of the family again, isn’t it?

♪ I praise you, Lord. Oh, king of kings ♪

[American man] Hey, yo. Preacher.

I need healing.

Well, my dear, welcome to the holy house of healing.

I'm tired of living my life this way.

Ooh, Mum! I would like to pray for this man.

-Huh? -Something in me just wants to...

Uh... Well...

Look at the pain you're in.

In Jesus' name, I pray that your limp stops limping. Yeah?

And from now on, you ain't gonna have no more problems.

Amen.

Amen.

I don’t know.

Oh, shit! I ain't got no limp, no more!

-Mum, look! -Look? I don't have to look.

Man, shit! I never thought I'd walk no more again!

I can feel God's power radiating all over the square!

My Tracey, my God!

I mean, Mum, what are you saying?

Should I just move back now?

Well, why not?

[Ola] I'm just so happy. I just so happy!

I just so happy that I can dance!

♪ I'm just so happy that I can dance ♪

♪ Just so happy that I can dance Just so happy that I can dance ♪

♪ Just so happy that I can dance Just so happy that I can dance ♪

♪ Just so happy that I can dance Just so happy that I can dance ♪

♪ Just so happy that I can dance Just so happy that I can dance ♪

♪ Dance, dance! ♪

Okay. Yeah, I give up. I give up.

[in normal voice] Thank you so much for the opportunity.

[Tracey thinking] Hey, Ash. You’re so right, my boobies are black.

Can I stay at yours?

[both laugh]

Okay, she put his hand on him and he starts crying and shaking.

[laughing] I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead.

[laughing] Stop laughing! And then, he goes to walk away...

No, seriously, can you not laugh that loudly?

It's an indication of poor listening skills.

Alright, Tracey. Fucking hell.

It's your go.

You... called me Tracey.

If I did, it was, I dunno, slip of the tongue.

Which I completely understand, but it could've been anyone's name.

It could've been Esther’s or Kristy’s or Karly’s,

but it was "Tracey"! Everything Tracey!

-You're her sister. -That's the only reason I'm here.

-You're a user. You user! -Alright, I sorry.

Yes, vindication!

Finally, you two have as little as I do.

I'll be busy playing Ludo Online with dedicated civilians across the world

and Connor will be busy with his head trapped under the vagina

of his new girlfriend.

What, Connor's got a new girlfriend?

Is Tracey alright?

[laughs] There she goes, pretending to care

about someone other than herself.

♪ Shame, boy, your brain so lame ♪

♪ Slip, trip, bust up your lip ♪

How's that for "chat, bounce"?

-I fucking love you. -[Tracey] Thank you.

-[exhales] -How long can I stay here?

If you do this every day, as long as you want.

You're comfortable, right?

[ritualistic chant]

[child] Dad!

-What's that? -They're only here weekends.

-What's... -[child] Daddy!

[woman] Can you make sure they're ready at eight

and not in the shower. I have a meet...

Oh, for goodness' sake, Ashley.

How old is this one?

Seventeen?

Dad, I'm trying to find a reason to respect you here, and I can't.

Do I have to do weekends here?

Thank you.

You said...

Never been with a black girl, before?

Glad to see that's still working for you, Ashley.

Can I just talk you through this outfit?

Those bangles? My dead grandmother's. Vintage.

And this special number was the bikini I wore on our honeymoon.

Start with the basics. Do you have a name?

Do you know it?

It's Tracey.

Oh, I see! The Peckham Princess downstairs is one of yours!

[gasps]

I am so sorry, have I disturbed you? What was next, a threesome?

How did you know I was here?

Ola told me. I just want to see if you're okay. I heard about Connor.

Yeah, I'm not...

Look, I'm in a bit of a situation at the moment.

Well, let me in. I'll help.

I'm embarrassed!

Babe, there ain't no such thing as embarrassing with us.

You and me haven't been "us" in a while. It's not the same, is it?

Alright, fine, I just... I wanted to find you to tell you

that he don't deserve you, anyway.

You're amazing and you're buff and you'll find someone loads better.

Yeah. Yeah!

-I'll see you later. -[Ash and woman argue indistinctly]

In front of the children! What’s wrong with you?

-Ash! [snaps fingers] -[Ash] Yeah?

The black thing is not cool!

-It's positive discrimination. -Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Five minutes ago you told me you were gonna destroy me.

You wanna destroy me? Go and be in a remake of Roots, man!

Ooh, I seeing the light!

I seeing the light! I finding my flow!

I finding my flow, yeah! I a wolf, tonight, I Doctor Foster!

I am a campaigner for ethnic minority power.

I went to Kenya and the Gambia for my gap year.

And I love jazz!

You... You’re the weirdest white boy I’ve ever met!

He’s the weirdest! You're the weirdest white boy I’ve ever met!

What...

[Tracey mutters indistinctly]

-That's... -Would you like wine with that, sir?

-No, no, no! -Yes, have that wine, just like you want.

[Ash] Okay. Um... [groans]

[Tracey] There we go. Huh?

Judith, my best friend is not a Peckham Princess.

We're from Tower Hamlets. Okay? Yeah, yeah.

And yeah, I fell for some stupid lie,

but at least I didn't pop two kids out for this fool.

And I'm not 17. I'm a grown-up woman!

I just regularly make child-like mistakes.

I think I'm in love with you.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

[hushes]

Judith. Thank you.

Oh!

I'm really tired, Mum.

I made a sham of everything.

Ola's my friend. I got him to pretend. I know you probably guessed that.

And, um... Here's your fliers.

Look, Mummy, it's too much, yeah? It's too much.

So, hey, ho, I flopped the tasks, I'm never coming home,

I accept that. Ola said I can sleep in his bathtub.

I just don't want you to be angry at me anymore.

[Joy] Tracey, stop lying.

Tell the whole truth, not just the truth you want to tell.

I don't understand.

I knew you were never going to complete such miracles.

And as for this? I can barely give 10 fliers in this area,

never mind 1,000.

All I want is the truth about where you have been the past three months.

-Connor. -Connor.

Yeah, we lived together in a hostel.

And I loved him.

That's all I needed. The truth.

[sobbing laugh]

Oh, Mummy.

Now, speak in tongues.

Uh... What?

Take a leap of faith. Just let the words out.

That's all you have to do.

-It doesn't matter how it sounds. -Yeah, but I thought, now that...

Um...

[Italian accent] Fiato puntinana.

Honda civicolo.

Chevy pololo lolololo lolo.

Good girl.

[Candice] I shouldn't have kicked you out, man.

You would've never gone away. I'm supposed to have your back.

You do. Look at what you've done today. If wasn't for you...

Anyway, I love you.

-Do you wanna go shops? -Don't do it, Tracey.

-Yeah. -[laughs]

[theme music plays]