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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,720 Yeah. Yeah, I'm back. Yeah. 2 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,120 I've been away three months, you know. 3 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,040 So, I've just been doing the reunions, innit? 4 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,480 Candice is bae, so obviously I've just been round to surprise her and that. 5 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,640 [squeals excitedly] 6 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,160 Welcome back. 7 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,040 Yeah, she was really, really happy to see me. 8 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:44,000 And, her nan, who's basically also my nan, was really happy as well. 9 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,080 Fucking piece of shit. Fucking hell. 10 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,480 What you done to your hair? And where's Connor? 11 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,200 I'm done with you, Tracey. 12 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:54,640 [buzzer buzzes] 13 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,480 [Joy over intercom] I said, you are not coming home! 14 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:57,680 Mummy! 15 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,080 I mean, technically, I'm not squatting. I'm just starting my shift really early. 16 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,080 [theme music plays] 17 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,040 {\an8}Okay, yes, Deepak. I know how to run a shop. 18 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,800 {\an8}Can you just go and catch enjoyments, please? 19 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,800 {\an8}Oh! Look, Deepak, be careful, okay? 20 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,640 Because from far away, you look dark enough to be a little bit black. 21 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,360 No, you do! Look, look, look. 22 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,520 If the police stop you, don't panic, okay? 23 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,160 They're like bees. If they see you panic, they panic, and then they sting you. Ok-- 24 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,080 [line disconnects] 25 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,200 Deepak's going on holiday to America. 26 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,080 What's the point? He ain't here. 27 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,080 He ain't here! [laughs] 28 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,880 [hip hop music plays through earphones] 29 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,480 -[music inaudible] -[rapping] ♪ I tore that ass up ♪ 30 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:16,760 ♪ And it splattered on the floor ♪ 31 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,520 ♪ I've got a hundred more on a worldwide tour ♪ 32 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,920 [hip hop music plays through earphones] 33 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,080 Woohoo! 34 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,440 [neck cracks] 35 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,760 [Tracey] I slay, I'm carefree, and I've got my black girl magic. 36 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,120 [posh accent] Oh, my God. Connor? 37 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,400 Connor, it's Tracey! 38 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,280 Yeah, no, I know I look different, now. I've become successful. Yas! 39 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,040 Who's this? Is this wide-legged hyena your new girlfriend? 40 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,280 Oh, my God! No, no, no, I just... I just can't believe 41 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:57,560 you've moved on so quickly. 42 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,440 [London accent] I haven't, Trace. I haven't moved on. 43 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,880 I love you. Please help me, help me! 44 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960 [gasps] Oh, my God, no, no, no! Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. 45 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,160 [posh accent] Look, I wish I could, but I've actually gotta go see Beyoncé. 46 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,080 No, really. Yeah, I'm gonna fly there. 47 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:13,240 Oh yeah, because I can fly, and I'm flying! 48 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,960 I'm flying! I'm flying! I'm fly... 49 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,280 Oh, what you saying, fam? 50 00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:18,880 You alright? 51 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,680 Yeah. Where you going? 52 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,920 -[laughs] Deepak's on holiday. -On holiday, yeah, I know. 53 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,920 He's left me in charge. 54 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,320 Alright, well, you can tell me where the toolbox is, then. 55 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,520 -What? -The toolbox. 56 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,120 He says he needs some shelves fixing. 57 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,560 -Why? -Broken shelves. 58 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,560 This ain't gonna be a problem, is it? I mean, we're mates, we're adults. 59 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,480 Yes. No! Er, yeah! 60 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,560 -Toolbox? -Toolbox, yes. 61 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,440 Here you go. [grunts] 62 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,240 [in choked voice] It's right in the back. Deep in the back. [coughs] 63 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,640 Deep in the back, right there. Yeah. 64 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,560 [mutters] 65 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,160 Make up, make up, make up. 66 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,000 This has expired. 67 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,240 [Tracey] Yup. Will you come back later? Thank you. 68 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,640 Oi, you idiot! I said this has expired! 69 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,160 So, put it in the bin! 70 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,800 I want fresh milk, you dumb fuck! 71 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,040 -[milk bottle slams] -[yelps] 72 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,320 Look at what you made me do! 73 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,120 You think the world revolves around you, don't you? 74 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,800 I'm out here trying to deal with real-life problems. 75 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,000 -I want my money back. -Yes, well you... 76 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,600 -[coins rattle] -There you go, madam. Keep the change. 77 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,320 Oh, look at that, I've just doubled your pension! 78 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:41,840 [Connor] Right. 79 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,240 Fucking hell! 80 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,520 Ah. Look at that. 81 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,520 It's a good job I'm here. Bit of twisting, bit of tightening, and... 82 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,600 Ooh. 83 00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,880 -Are you alright with me working here? -Yeah. 84 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:01,440 -Yeah? -Yeah! 85 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,160 Connor, me and you, we're brethren, so, like, what's the... 86 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:08,160 Exactly. Besides, we haven't really caught up in private. 87 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,800 I knew this guy still fancied me, man. 88 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,280 I wanna break up properly, you know? 89 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,520 [voice echoes deliriously] Talk about exactly what happened. 90 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,080 And then, you know, put it all behind us. 91 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,200 [voices echo] 92 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,720 -[shrieking] No! -[echoing] It'd be nice if we had closure. 93 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,800 ["closure" echoes repeatedly] 94 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,600 -Tracey! -[stammering] I... I'd love to, you know, 95 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,880 but I'm just... I'm so busy. So busy. 96 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,200 There's no-one here. 97 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,440 Stock! I have to... I've got to count the stock. 98 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,640 -[huffs] -What are you doing after? 99 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,480 -Oh, I'm busy after. -Oh, yeah? 100 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,600 Yeah. 101 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,680 Yeah, I'm going on a date. 102 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,480 Yeah, literally the second my shift is done. [sucks air] 103 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,600 -Wow! -Yeah. 104 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,600 -What's his name? -Anthony Joshua. 105 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,240 The famous boxer? 106 00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,720 Yeah, it's... [stammers] 107 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,720 Yeah, no. It's obviously not Anthony Joshua. 108 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,000 It's Antony Joshua's friend. 109 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,120 Basically, it's Anthony Joshua's friend that I'm seeing, you know? 110 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,760 So... yeah. And he's picking me up in his car. 111 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,000 Fancy. So, what's he whipping? 112 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,120 -Excuse me? -What's he drive, your guy? 113 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:16,760 A Rolex. 114 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,280 Sorry, a Rolex? 115 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,720 Yeah, he drives a Rolex. 116 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,520 Is that alright with you? 117 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,120 -Yeah. -Okay. 118 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,000 [whimpering] What's he doing? 119 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,480 -What's he doing? -So, it's Anthony Joshua's best mate? 120 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,200 He's one of his best mates, yeah. 121 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:35,000 One of his best mates. Just one. 122 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,840 Yeah, he's got loads of friends. Yes, that one. 123 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,000 -Him? -Yeah. 124 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:41,920 Oh, my God. 125 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,240 Stormzy! 126 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,840 [whispering] Oh, that is... That is really unlucky. 127 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,600 -You're going out with him? -Yeah. 128 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,160 Wow. Well, maybe we can chat after... 129 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,400 [imitating Crazy Frog] Bing, ba-ding, bing, bing! 130 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,880 Time to count the stock-ins! 131 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:05,600 Hey, son. [laughs] 132 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,520 ["House Work" by Jax Jones playing] 133 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,360 [Tracey] Eight, nine, ten, eleven... 134 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,840 Eleven... stock. 135 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,560 -I need to know what happened. -Oh, well, you know, I guess... 136 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,320 You know, the shelves have been up for a while, 137 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,000 and with all the stock, they just got worn down. 138 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,640 Not the shelves. When we were staying at the homeless shelter. 139 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,240 [nervous groan] 140 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,720 -What's happened? -You made me lose count of... 141 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,400 So, now I've got--I've got to start again. It's fine. 142 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,120 Twenty... 143 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,160 Twe... Okay. Yeah, okay. 144 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,160 So, the thing is, about me and Connor's, 145 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:06,880 you know, drifting from each other, 146 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,440 it's not just that I just forgot to mention it. 147 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,880 I chose to forget. 148 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,400 But now he wants to talk about it. 149 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,360 He wants to talk about E2 Homeless Shelter. 150 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,760 Yeah, that's where we were staying when we were part of the underclass. 151 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,400 He wants to talk about it, and... 152 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:24,000 Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen salad creams. 153 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,480 Fifty-six, fifty-seven... 154 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,320 And to top it off, he's trying to interrogate me 155 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,440 about my made-up boyfriend. 156 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,880 You're going out with Stormzy. That is mad, innit? 157 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,520 Well, you know, I didn't go looking for him like I did Drake. 158 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,720 You know, he found me, he saw the goods, he wanted the goods. 159 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,480 -He's got the goods. -Instagram? 160 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,080 No, man, you know we ain't really out here doing it for the gram, you know? 161 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,720 I ain't even on the Instagram, so. 162 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,840 You're on Facebook. Is it Facebook levels? 163 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,000 No, no, no. We don't really feel the need to... you know. 164 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,680 Oh, are you and... um, Emma, is it? 165 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,760 She wanted to, but I ain't fussed for it. 166 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,440 But it sounds like you and your famous fella... 167 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,120 It sounds like you're... serious. It's quite mad. 168 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,280 -I'm glad we've both moved on. -Yeah, we have. We have both moved on. 169 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,560 We have, both of us, have moved on. 170 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,560 I mean, hello! Prep the press! 171 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,720 Somebody call the reporters! 172 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,680 You know, me and you have moved on! 173 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,560 It's amazing. Do you know what I'm gonna do? 174 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,960 Yas! I'm gonna go into the back room, 175 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,520 and I am gonna crack open a bottle of Fanta! [laughs] 176 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,200 Trace, can we talk now, please? 177 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:23,400 It'll be over quickly, as long as we're both... 178 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:25,680 If you're not telling lies, and that. Yeah? 179 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,880 ["This Woman's Work" by Maxwell plays] 180 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,160 Hmm? 181 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,640 -[music quietens] -Yes! [laughs] 182 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,240 [laughing] I've just gotta go and get the Fanta, right? You little weirdo! 183 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,040 Let's go. I don't even... 184 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,840 Shit! 185 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,280 Think of a plan, of a plan... 186 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,880 Candice. Candice! 187 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,360 [phone rings] 188 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,480 -[Candice] Yo, wagwan? -Candice, look, I need a favour. 189 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:12,960 [Candice] [laughs] This is my voicemail. Bet you thought I answered, innit? 190 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,680 -Because you're a dumb, gullible prick! -[beep] 191 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,240 [singing] ♪ And when he came ♪ 192 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,480 [over phone] ♪ To his true love's dwelling ♪ 193 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,600 ♪ He knelt down gently ♪ 194 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,880 -[Tracey] Ola, can-- -♪ Upon the stone ♪ 195 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:36,880 -Ola. -It's an Irish folk song. 196 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,480 "The Night Visiting Song". 197 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,440 And I sing it because I want a man try and to come visit me in my sleep. 198 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,560 And give a gift to my penis of fellatio. 199 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,800 Oh, yeah, of course, fellatio. Congrats. 200 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,400 Look, I need a favour from you. 201 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,520 No, I prefer transactions. 202 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,520 I'll shave your bum-crack again. 203 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,120 Deal. 204 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,920 I need you to make a Facebook page under the name of Mr. Stormzy. 205 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,760 Okay? And do it quickly. Oh, and do photos of us together! 206 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,480 You've got Photo Grid, the app? Yeah, do some of that photo collages. 207 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,760 Yeah, make us look good, okay? 208 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,080 A challenge? Hmm. Okay. 209 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:12,560 Okay. 210 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,480 Don't look at me. 211 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,400 Hello, why--why are the shutters down? 212 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,000 You and me, we're gonna be straight with each other for two minutes. 213 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,600 No, you can't close the shop. It's the middle of the day. 214 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,800 I wanna talk, Trace. 215 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,560 Yeah, but I don't want to talk. Oh, my God, Deepak's gonna lose his shit! 216 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:32,920 -Where's the key? -We're not going nowhere 217 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,960 until we talk proper, so you're gonna have to cancel your plans 218 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,400 with your made-up boyfriend. 219 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,240 I... I'm offended, Connor. 220 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,840 That you really think I'm that pathetic. That crazy! 221 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,040 To just make up that I've got a boyfriend. Do you think I'm that sad? That lonely? 222 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,440 Yeah. 223 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:52,320 [phone rings] 224 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,800 Oh, it's just my made-up boyfriend. Do you mind if I-- 225 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,760 -Let me see that fucking phone. -Look at the phone. 226 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,760 -[scoffs] Go on, then. -Thank you. 227 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,640 Hi! Hey, baby! 228 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,760 -[man] Come on, open up! -[banging on shutters] 229 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,520 No, we are open! Don't... 230 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,240 [shouting] Open the shop! [speaking] Hi. Yeah. 231 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,000 [Ola] This is so exciting. 232 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,080 -Honestly. -[Tracey] Yeah, I'm really excited 233 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,560 -about tonight, as well. -Huh? It's... 234 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,640 -Oh. -Mm-hmm. 235 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,720 -I see. -[laughing] Yeah. 236 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,640 [London accent] Yes. I love you. 237 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,480 My pretty little vagina. 238 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,120 [gasps] I love you, too. 239 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,600 -Check your Facebook. -[laughing] Check my Facebook? 240 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,440 I will, I'll check my Facebook. 241 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 [laughs, kisses air] 242 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:38,800 He hung up. 243 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,640 Aww. 244 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,120 Look. A picture. 245 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,720 That's another one. 246 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:47,840 Oh, that's cute. 247 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,880 Oh. Right? 248 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,280 So, back off! 249 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,000 I still wanna finish it properly. 250 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,360 Oh, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna hold me prisoner? 251 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,280 Oh, is your celebrity boyfriend and his bodyguards gonna come for me? 252 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,560 [shouting] I am going out with a celebrity. 253 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,640 He's got a lot of money! He takes me to dinner! 254 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:02,840 He picks me up in his Rolex! 255 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,920 It's not my fault, Connor. I don't know what he sees in me. 256 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,440 I don’t know! Maybe the same thing you saw before your vision got fucked, 257 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,720 and you started seeing a hyena crossbred with a goat as a potential wife! 258 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,080 -[screaming] I hate Emma! -[gasps] 259 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,920 That felt so good. 260 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:20,800 Now, give me the key, please. 261 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,640 -[woman] Open the fucking door. -[whimpering] Yeah, I'm so sorry! 262 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,400 We're coming, we're just... Just give me the key, Connor, please! 263 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,560 -[alarm blares] -[gasps] 264 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,800 [voice echoes deliriously] I need to know what happened. 265 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,560 When we were staying at that homeless shelter.... 266 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,360 ["homeless shelter" echoes repeatedly] 267 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,040 [Tracey grunts] 268 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,120 [moans] 269 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,360 -[yelps, groans] -[moans] 270 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:57,800 -Oh, Tracey... -Yeah? 271 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,160 We can't in here. 272 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,600 Have you been drinking? 273 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,520 -Have you been drinking? -[inhales] 274 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,680 -What? -I made us a love nest. 275 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:05,840 Come on. 276 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,120 It's yours. 277 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,640 I want you. 278 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,280 Look, baby. 279 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,200 Water feature! 280 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,400 Look. And I've... you know? Babes. 281 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,320 -How much have you had to drink? -Baby! No, baby, shh... 282 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,560 My body is yours. Do you know what I mean? 283 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,320 So you can just take it, because, like... 284 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,560 Yeah, baby, that's... 285 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,920 [Caribbean accent] Teif up mi body! Teif it up, man! 286 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,480 [both moan] 287 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,800 That is really... 288 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:44,920 Yeah, babe. 289 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,640 I'm sorry. 290 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,600 -No, don't... shh, look just-- -[knock on door] 291 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,080 [man] Have you lost it, yet? 292 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,320 [woman laughing] I've got a tenner on you staying floppy. Don't let me down! 293 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,880 -[shrieks] -Oi, say that again! 294 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,120 -Go away! -Say that again! 295 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,480 Go away, you're fucking terrible. You're terrible. 296 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,520 Right. 297 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:04,960 -Right. -Okay. 298 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,920 -Oh, my God. -Yeah. Ooh! 299 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,600 Okay. 300 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,560 [giggles] 301 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,040 [both moan] 302 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,400 [squeals] 303 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,040 -[Connor] Yeah! Let's go down here. -[Tracey] Okay. Oh! 304 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:19,280 -Yes! [moans] -That's it! 305 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,240 That's terribly... It's really uncomfortable. 306 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,280 Let's try this. [growls] 307 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,840 [both grunt and shout] 308 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:27,840 -[Connor] Yes. Yes -[Tracey] Yeah. Oh. 309 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,320 Yeah! Yes, babe! Yeah. 310 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,320 -I'm gonna-- -No. No, stop! 311 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,480 [yelps] 312 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,480 You're doing the nose thing. You're putting me off! 313 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:36,680 [Tracey screams] 314 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,360 Fuck you. 315 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,880 -Fuck you. -I'm sorry. 316 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,120 The way you fucking treat my fanny is fucking worse than... 317 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:48,240 People treat their animals better than this. I even got Gay Simon... 318 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,640 I said, "Gay Simon, please can I borrow your dildo?" 319 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,720 Listen. Three months, okay, and we’ve not done nothing 320 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,160 with the penis in the vagina going inside, okay? 321 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,520 Do you see what I’m saying? 322 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,680 Look. It’s frothing a little bit. 323 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,800 It’s all shrivelly and stuff, and I--I don't know... 324 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,120 I don't know whether that’s because of you. 325 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,160 [voice breaking] But I feel like it’s fucking because of you! I... 326 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,040 -I’m gonna be sick. My stomach needs... -Oh! The toilet bowl's there. 327 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,360 Keep your hands off me. 328 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:18,960 Where is the... Oh! [retches] 329 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:20,280 [Connor shouts] 330 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,560 That's better, yeah? 331 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,480 [retches] 332 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,800 That was on purpose. 333 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,160 [alarm blares] 334 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,960 [alarm quietens] 335 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,000 Look, I was trying to be a supportive partner, 336 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,680 trying to help their boyfriend through their erectile dysfunction. 337 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,040 -I don't know why you're pissed at me. -Shut up. No. 338 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,000 It's what you did after. 339 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,480 ["Girls Like Us" by B-15 Project plays] 340 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,440 [music quietens] 341 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,640 [grunts and moans] 342 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,800 Danny likes it. How come Danny's got a hard penis 343 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,560 and, look at you, you fucker, you don't? 344 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,600 I don't have a penis, I'm a girl. 345 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:11,760 Yeah, but you're a lesbian. 346 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,320 What's happening with you? 347 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,280 Crazy when you're drunk, crazy when you're sober. 348 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,800 Where are you going? I thought you wanted to be the one to take my virginity. 349 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,480 I'm done with you, Tracey. 350 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,480 Oh, okay, well, that's alright. 351 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,760 Off you go. 352 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,640 The dildo is being activated. 353 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,560 Your services are no longer needed, Sergeant Floppy Dick! 354 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,680 We were tight! We didn’t need nothing but each other 355 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:39,200 and job seekers' allowance! They loved us up! Interracial! 356 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,320 Yeah, usually, the girl's white and the guy's black, 357 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,960 but we did it the interesting way around. 358 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,920 Tracey and Connor. “Tronnor.” They actually called us "Tronnor"! 359 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,160 Nobody called us "Tronnor." 360 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,080 And then you went and told everyone we weren't fucking, 361 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,360 and I turned into a laughing stock. Well done, Tracey! Nice one. 362 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:55,320 No, no. Why would I want you to be a laughing stock? I love y... 363 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,000 I mean, I like you, know what I'm saying? 364 00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,840 You’re alright. I don't... 365 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,080 Just out of interest, then, why'd you fuck someone else? 366 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,280 I didn't. 367 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,280 Fuck off, Tracey! I was there, remember? 368 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,560 I don't care if it was a girl. Cheating's cheating. 369 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,440 -I... -[phone rings] 370 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,200 [groans] Ola... celebrity boyfriend! 371 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,240 Now's not a good time. Can you please call me back? 372 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:17,360 [gasps] 373 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,400 Look. I never cheated on you. 374 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,040 Never. 375 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,160 Honestly, nothing happened. 376 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,080 Okay, well there's, look... [mumbles] 377 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,800 [moaning] Oh, yeah! 378 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,720 [Tracey moans and shrieks] 379 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,920 What are you doing? 380 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,280 I'm making sex noises, because I should be having sex right now. 381 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,200 -Here's your... -Oh, yeah, yeah... 382 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,600 Yeah, come on. Let's... 383 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,880 Let's make like a scissors and trib. 384 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,840 -No. -Kiss me. 385 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,160 -No. -Kiss me! 386 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,040 -No! -Okay. 387 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,040 Okay. Okay, I'll just have a hug. 388 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,520 -I just need somebody. -Okay, come on. 389 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,920 He's gone. He's gone. 390 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,520 Thanks. 391 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,840 Fuck. I had a whole 'nother story going on. 392 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,360 It was much sexier than that. Fuck. 393 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,320 -You know, I tried to tell you. [sighs] -[phone rings] 394 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,040 Ola, give it up. 395 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,880 -[Ola] I need to tell you something. -Bye. 396 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,920 -So, you're not going out with-- -No, of course I ain't going out with him! 397 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,960 -It's lonely, innit? -Yeah. 398 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,760 -Mindlessly fucking whoever, then just-- -Wait. 399 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,840 -Hmm? -Your... 400 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,880 Oh, yeah, no, it's fine. It's just with you. 401 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,840 -Oh. -No, I mean... I don't know what it is. 402 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,400 I just... I think it's special. In a good way. 403 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,440 -Are you still a... -A virgin? 404 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,040 [laughing] No, no, no. I got demolished. 405 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,120 [makes choking sound] 406 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,680 It hurt, you know. I was like, "Ah!" 407 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,560 -Why do you lie so much? -I'm not sure. 408 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,760 We should get back to work. 409 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,040 Yeah. 410 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,240 [Connor] Work. Right. 411 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,640 Right. [grunts] 412 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,360 Oh, no. I don't really work here. 413 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:37,880 It's worked out really well. 414 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,520 I saw Deepak with his suitcases, put two and two together. 415 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,520 Okay, wow. 416 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,160 I just wanted to chat with you. 417 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,960 Alone. Without Emma breathing down my... 418 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,240 Why do you hate her so much? 419 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,600 -[sighs] -You haven't even met her. 420 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,200 Because she's nice. I can tell. 421 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,200 So are you. 422 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,960 Whoa, Connor, what are you doing? 423 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,480 We can't. We were talking about your girlfriend. 424 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,120 I was trying to leave. 425 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:16,840 Oh, yeah, yeah. 426 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,360 [door unlocks] 427 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,040 ["Put it On Me" by Ja Rule ft. Vita plays] 428 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:40,480 The fuck? 429 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,600 ["Shut Up" by Stormzy plays] 430 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,720 Tracey, yeah? 431 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:53,880 Yes. 432 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,880 But she doesn't look like she's got cancer. 433 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:58,600 Well, I don't have cancer. 434 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,240 She can function, but it's just... 435 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,400 Alright. Take these. 436 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,080 I haven't really got the time for this, so I'm just gonna... 437 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,760 Ooh, Stormzy! 438 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,920 You told him I've got cancer? 439 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,120 That you had a little bit. 440 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,080 Just small, small cancer. 441 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,040 What? 442 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,440 ["Shut Up" by Stormzy plays] 33477

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