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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,880 I used to think you might not actually find the one. 2 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,640 Say if you've got, I don't know, an ugly side or psoriasis, 3 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,000 and that is why I settled for my ex, Ronald. 4 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,320 To think, I was actually going to take you as a wife. 5 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:24,120 Yeah, I settled for a guy who 100% might be gay. 6 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:35,640 But luckily, I escaped, and I found the love of my... 7 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,240 my mum's coming, get away from me. 8 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,200 Hey, Mummy. 9 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,480 Yeah, definitely lucky with this one. 10 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,480 I mean, Ronald was always concerned about my hygiene, 11 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,440 wanting to go to these posh functions, 12 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:52,080 but my boy, Connor, he's an amazing poet. 13 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,800 Yeah, I mean, he doesn't care about my hygiene, 14 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,080 he doesn't want to go to all these posh functions... 15 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,760 I mean, he doesn't care about anything. 16 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,800 Yeah. I mean, I got a man who don't even want to leave the house. 17 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,680 He's just happy licking me out and playing on his, um, his thing. 18 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,240 So, yeah, it is great. 19 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,400 [gunfire on TV] 20 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,960 Fucking... Argh! 21 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,760 ♪ Life ain't so great yeah ♪ 22 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,400 ♪ There'll be dots in the mud ♪ 23 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,600 ♪ And life ain't Hollywood for any one of us ♪ 24 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,600 ♪ If ever you're in doubt ♪ 25 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,960 ♪ Just get your wings out ♪ 26 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,320 ♪ It's all right darling Get your wriggle on ♪ 27 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,160 ♪ Somewhere else ♪ 28 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,040 [laughing] 29 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,000 [phone beeping] 30 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,920 -What's funny? -Tracy! [giggling] 31 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,440 Sorry, it's just my cousin. 32 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,520 Who's your cousin? 33 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:51,840 Um, Tracy. 34 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,480 Tracey? That's your name. 35 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,320 And he's Boy Tracy. 36 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,560 Let me see. 37 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,360 Here you are. Last Christmas. 38 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,520 [Tracey laughing] 39 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,280 Check. 40 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,880 I'm playing Warcraft tonight, can't come mine till tomorrow. 41 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,280 Yeah, I can't tomorrow anyway, 42 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,440 my mum's been bugging me about some family dinner. 43 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,360 Don't forget dinner. Oh, my gosh, yes, OK! 44 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,600 [computer powering on] 45 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,160 -[Connor] I'm in. Relax. -Hi. 46 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,440 Get down. 47 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,000 Help yourself to some bullets! 48 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:30,440 -[clinking] -[laughing] 49 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:31,680 Thank you. 50 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,760 [Connor] Don't walk over there, don't walk over there! 51 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:34,840 Sorry. 52 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,160 Argh! 53 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,760 There is a bad smell coming from the back of the shop. 54 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,200 Welcome to Deathsville - population, you. 55 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,400 -Shoot you in the head! -[gun fire on computer] 56 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,080 -[Tracey] Connor? -Hello. 57 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:49,640 Did you flush the toilet? 58 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,200 Yeah, I promise. 59 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,120 Connor, you're not supposed to flush the toilet 60 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,560 'cause there's a sewage block. 61 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:57,960 How am I supposed to know? 62 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,040 Because the sign is there on the door. It's overflowing now. 63 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,920 You-you know, you got shit on your shoes. 64 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,600 Yeah, yeah. 65 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,240 Guess I'll go buy a mop. 66 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,760 Oh, you buy me a kebab? 67 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,360 [doorbell rings] 68 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,200 It's tinglin'. Is it in date? 69 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,520 -[Woman] 'Course it is. -It better fucking be in date. 70 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,200 -'Course it is. -Ugh, bruv, you stink. 71 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,880 What the fuck is that, man? 72 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,640 Connor done one of his horrendous number twos down the shop toilet 73 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,080 and burst the sewage thing. 74 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:40,840 How can one man make so much mess? 75 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,920 I, practically covered in his doo doo, have got to go 76 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,160 and buy a new mop to clean up his mess. 77 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,760 It's every day, there's something like that every day. 78 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,240 -You're there. -What, where? 79 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,520 The rut. Get stuck in, sit yourself down. 80 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,000 You're definitely gonna get in a rut with him, babe. 81 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,120 He's a bit... you know. 82 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,440 No, what? 83 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,720 Just a bit... mmm, you know. 84 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,680 Yeah... I hear you, doll. Trace, he is a bit... 85 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,280 [together] Mmm... 86 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,000 Can someone finish their sentence with words? 87 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,880 -He's a bit dopey. -Bit boring. 88 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,680 -Lifeless. -No soul. 89 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:16,960 I just meant he was a bum, but all of that too. 90 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,560 [woman] No wonder you're keeping him secret from your mum. 91 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,840 He's a poet. 92 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,480 -Mmm. -Nah. 93 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:23,560 Well... 94 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,280 [Woman] I'll believe it when I see it. 95 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:31,560 It's the metamorphosis. Butterfly clips. 96 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,880 Equals resourcefulness. 97 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,120 Hair follicles. Grit with forcefulness. 98 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,400 If my boyfriend wants to be all... 99 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,000 I ain't gonna sit there like a dumbass and let him act like a fool, 100 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,080 I'm gonna fix him. 101 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,920 You can call me Morpheus. 102 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,080 -What's that on his head? -I don't know. 103 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,360 Who are all these people? 104 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,040 They are definitely people that are not boring, dumb or lifeless. 105 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,520 [man laughing] 106 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:10,080 Oh, my God, that is Ronald, 107 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,160 my ex-boyfriend, with a man. 108 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:17,440 I do hereby confirm the fact that he might possibly be gay. 109 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,720 OK, so the next poet that's going to grace this stage is... 110 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,840 Connor Jones from Tower Hamlets! 111 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,760 Connor Jones? Uh, Tower Hamlets? 112 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:33,040 Surprise! He's here, he's here. 113 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,560 Er, what the fuck? 114 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,200 Hey, go on, smash it. I believe in you. Come on. 115 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,320 Go on. 116 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,760 [grunts] 117 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,920 This is one of my poems. 118 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,360 I don't like sleazy Stacey, 119 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:04,600 'cause sleazy Stacey's fac-eys not as nice as chocolate Trac-ey. 120 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:10,360 Chocolate Tracey. I could spot those goggly eyes from anywhere. 121 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,760 His first time? 122 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,680 I don't know how you knew I was comin' here, but... 123 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:17,080 -It doesn't matter. -Yes, it matters. 124 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,280 OK, it probably does matter... 125 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,760 -I don't like you no more. -Whatever. 126 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,640 Sheep can't fly, 'cause they, uh, they ain't got wings. 127 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,240 I'm going to be more than a friend to you. 128 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,520 -[camera clicks] -So... 129 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,680 Sheep can't fly 'cause they ain't got wings. 130 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,960 He is as bad as your body odor. 131 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,120 Just piss off. 132 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,120 Have they stopped running hot water through the council estates? 133 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,680 -You're a dick. -You smell like poo poo. 134 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:42,760 Yes, I know! 135 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,120 I have to go. 136 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:51,800 I've left my... juice at the bar. 137 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,080 It's the universe that's alarmed 138 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:01,680 -Like a superstar lost a credit card. -[woman laughing] 139 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,200 I just got parred. 140 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,160 Fuck you lot, yeah? 141 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,680 -[laugher from crowd] -[Connor] Fuck you. 142 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,320 You're fuckin' mental, Tracey! 143 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:20,240 [slow clapping] 144 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,400 [cellphone beeping] 145 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,000 Hm. So now he's texting. 146 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,800 You know when you just can't be asked to read some lame arse apology? 147 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,160 Are you gonna help me, or are you gonna just stand there? 148 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,000 I'm gluten, wheat and meat free. 149 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:43,840 -She ain't any of them things. -[doorbell rings] 150 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,000 [sighs] Why are we even doing this? 151 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,560 Ah-ah... Why not? 152 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,200 You must learn to cook a meal 153 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,280 before a man of God will sweep you under the carpet! 154 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,520 Off your feet, Mum, it's "sweep you off your feet". 155 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,160 Hey, hey. Shut up and... season the meat. 156 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,120 [whines] 157 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,360 If you threw a party 158 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,080 invited everyone you knew 159 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,400 You would see the biggest gift would be from me 160 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,440 And the card attached 161 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,680 You told me drop by sometime so I dropped by, innit? 162 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,560 Boy Tracy! 163 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,200 He ran off the stage. If I knew he'd hate it, I wouldn't have done it. 164 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,640 -Wouldn't an actual poet be happy? -Yeah, but I feel bad. 165 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,480 You can't read the mind. Yes, and I can't know the heart. 166 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,600 Boy Tracy, here is like Downton Abbey. 167 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,200 Let the women do the kitchen work. 168 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:48,080 OK, Aunty. Really I was just giving Tracey advice about her boyfriend-- 169 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:53,000 Argh. Why don't we go shop? [chuckles] Yeah, let's go shop. 170 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,200 OK. 171 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:57,960 -How's she not found out about him? -I know. 172 00:08:58,040 --> 00:08:59,040 Connor lives in your block. 173 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,480 Yeah I know, but who's she gonna ask? 174 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,600 She don't talk to Muslims, she don't talk to Catholics, 175 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,640 she don't talk to atheists, basically the whole block, so... 176 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,360 What about you, man? I don't ask you nothing. 177 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,560 No girlfriend. But I've had sex now. 178 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,800 Yeah... I stopped going church. 179 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,240 Me too. [gasps] 180 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,840 [both grunting] 181 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,880 I've illegally downloaded movies. Go. 182 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,320 I stripped naked for my ex and he threw me out the house. Go. 183 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,280 -Ronald? Was he gay? -Maybe. Go. 184 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:25,400 I've smoked weed. Go. 185 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,080 Oh, I had MDMA and speed at the same time. Go. 186 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,560 -That's a lot. Did you recover? -I dunno. 187 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:34,200 I fingered a girl in my mum's room, while she was sleeping. 188 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,200 -My mum was sleeping. -Oh! 189 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,360 [beat boxing] 190 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,640 ♪ My favourite cuz, ain't seen you in a while ♪ 191 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,880 ♪ You are the best, you make me smile ♪ 192 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,000 ♪ We got a vibe and we proper get down ♪ 193 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,280 ♪ When you leave I'll definitely frown, oh! ♪ 194 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,320 ♪ My cuz Tracey is so damn fly ♪ 195 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,440 ♪ Cynthia's weird and she ain't said hi ♪ 196 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,600 ♪ She's been telling lies since she was five ♪ 197 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,240 ♪ She said she's meat free but she just had shepherd's pie. Oh. ♪ 198 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,760 ♪ Nice to see my blood relatives ♪ 199 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,920 ♪ Everybody loves and everybody gives ♪ 200 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,880 ♪ You were upset 'cause Your man's a dick ♪ 201 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,800 -But you turned negative into positive. -[together] Oh! Oh! Oh! 202 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,440 [Boy Tracey firing machine gun] 203 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,760 Whoa... Whoa... 204 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,960 Ooh! Ooh! 205 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,520 -Ludo! -[groaning] 206 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,680 You always win. 207 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,360 I hate playing this game with Cynthia, it's so boring, 208 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,280 but when I play with you, cuz, I swear that it's... 209 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,520 [exhales] 210 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,960 Oh, wow, I'm still here. 211 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,440 I was six, and you was four. What? 212 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,000 You lay on top of me and kissed me on the lips. 213 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,320 Since then, I've thought about that moment more times than I've inhaled. 214 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,720 I really like you. I want you to see me... 215 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,480 see me as more than a friend, more than a cousin. 216 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,120 I want you to see me as someone who you can grow old with, 217 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,640 make you smile, and laugh... 218 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,040 And squirt. 219 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,920 My mum and my sister are downstairs. 220 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,000 Sometimes you just gotta take the plunge, innit? 221 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,680 I'm sorry, who are you talking to? 222 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,080 [Mother] Traceys. Dinner is ready. 223 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,000 Just-just put your clothes on. 224 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,160 Take your clothes off. 225 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,360 -What? No! Ugh! -Cuz. 226 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,520 Tracey, please just put your clothes on. Please. 227 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:32,600 [doorbell rings] 228 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,240 I bought you liqueurs. And I forgive you, so... 229 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,920 -What you doing here? -Dinner! 230 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,560 Well, we love each other, you're gonna be with me till you die, 231 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:46,320 so let's tell your mum now, innit? 232 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,840 Come on, it's not like you're ashamed of me. 233 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,000 Oh, my God. 234 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:56,800 [clears throat] 235 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,640 Nice to meet you, Aunty. I got you chocolates. 236 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,880 Evening. Seen you around, obviously. 237 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:10,480 I'm Connor. 238 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,600 I'm lactose intolerant. 239 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,800 -I know you. -Sh-shut up and just eat the chocolates! 240 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,360 -Who's that? -I'm family. 241 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,040 -Oh, now you're family, yeah? -What's that? 242 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,760 Nothing, it's Boy Tracey, remember I told you, my cousin? 243 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,040 Yeah, she told me all about you. 244 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,880 Great. Auntie, shall we say grace? 245 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,280 Er... 246 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:34,800 I'm so sorry. It's never like this. You should go, I'll save you food. 247 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:39,160 Thank you, Lord, for your son, who died for our sins. 248 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,160 All we need is the love of a saviour, 249 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,960 in addition to financial prosperity. 250 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:50,440 We hold down Lloyds TSB, Santander and demand them 251 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,000 to share out the cash monies. 252 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:58,360 Send Northern Rock to the south, not west, to the east! 253 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,400 Lift up the borrower and... 254 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,160 -[Cynthia gasping] -My dear. 255 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,080 I think the lack of familiarity of people around the table 256 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,720 is triggering negative emotions. 257 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,040 Cynthia, don't frighten others. 258 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,720 How many times have I told you? 259 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,200 It's all right, I'm fine. I'm fine. 260 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,720 You are fine. That's good for you. 261 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:22,240 Listen. The world is welcome at my table, 262 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,280 as Christ himself welcomes the world. 263 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:30,200 But who are you... and what on earth are you doing in my house? 264 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:37,120 -I'm Tracey's boyfriend-- -Ah, ah, ah! Mummy. 265 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,480 Mummy, I was at Candice's, you know, that sinner girl from the big block? 266 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,480 And, uh, I saw Connor in-in the dark. 267 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:48,800 Connor, would you say it was-it was quite dark? 268 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,960 -It was a house party, so... -He needed the light. 269 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,720 -Hm. John one, verse five. -[snickering] Serious-- 270 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,720 I have since then... 271 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,440 been showing him... 272 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,400 what the greatest love of all is. 273 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,120 Tracey, man, Jesus. 274 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,400 Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. [giggling] 275 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,480 The greatest love of all, Mummy. 276 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,800 Welcome. 277 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,440 This is gonna be fun. 278 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,080 I've encountered all sorts of darkness. 279 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,000 Single mothers, football fans, contemporary dancers, 280 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,040 the mentally disturbed. 281 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,800 I used to be in a mental home, actually. 282 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,520 I was on weed from young. I got very bad paranoia. 283 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,600 Are you serious? 284 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,720 No, no, no judgment. Paranoia, you say? 285 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,800 Yeah, I got better than that. I started counseling people in there. 286 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,080 Unofficial, like. 287 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,600 Thank God for freedom from addiction. 288 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,280 I'm still addicted, just not paranoid. 289 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,600 I am gluten free. Mmm. 290 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,080 Easy with those. They're a bit boozy. 291 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,600 Don't talk to me like I'm some autistic toddler. 292 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,120 Or... or I'll get my boyfriend to curse you. 293 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,720 That's right, Tracey, I have a boyfriend. 294 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,200 She absolutely does not have a boyfriend. 295 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,920 That is amazing, I'm-I'm really happy. 296 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,280 [imitating] Every thing's about Tracey. 297 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,840 Every thing's about Tracey. 298 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,360 Leaving! Stranger danger! 299 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,200 They don't believe me. [giggling] 300 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,760 Yes, I have great respect and admiration for you too. 301 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,880 Goodbye. Bye. Dropped the phone. 302 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,600 Dropped the phone. 303 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,280 A poet. And what do you like to write about? 304 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,120 Ah. [exhales] 305 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,080 Everything, really. Two-dimensional shapes, 306 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,400 um, cows, obviously, patterns, three-dimensional shapes, 307 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,000 -Uh-huh. -love, I'm not gonna lie. 308 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,240 Connor, what's your sexual history? 309 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,120 That's a really inappropriate thing to-- -No, no, no, no shame. 310 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,840 Often, the more sinful your past, the more special you will be. 311 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,600 Unless you're not serious about your relationship with Trace-- 312 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:16,240 [yells] What time is it? 313 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,480 Time for a poem, I think. 314 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,440 Connor, heard you gave your strongest performance last night. 315 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,600 Heard you had a great crowd reaction. 316 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,320 You're definitely talking in riddles now, bruv. 317 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,400 You got something to say, say it. 318 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,000 I ain't your brother, and I dare you. 319 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,440 I remembered. I remembered. I remembered. 320 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,680 His face was underneath your vagina, so I couldn't see it, 321 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,440 but he's wearing the same shoes. 322 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,080 [Cynthia] Solved that one. I beg your pardon. 323 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,240 Why is Connor here? 324 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,080 To get to know you. 325 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,280 Ah, OK, you are? 326 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,240 I'm Connor, we met earlier. You didn't tell me she was ill. 327 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,320 I'm Connor. Tracey's man. 328 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,000 Her waste man. 329 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,640 I swear down, if you didn't look so much like her, 330 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,600 I'd smash your face in, you fucking prick! 331 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,440 There's dignity in the milk of this cow. You are pumping me dry, Trace. 332 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,600 -Is that supposed to be poetic? -[Cynthia] It doesn't even rhyme. 333 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,600 -I'm sorry. -Hurry up and dump this idiot. 334 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,000 -[Connor and Tracey together] What? -He's even intoxicated your sister 335 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,440 -Connor, no. -with alcoholic chocolates. 336 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,440 Get rid of him before he does any more damage. 337 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,920 What's he talking about? What's he mean, "dump him"? 338 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,600 -Cynthia, are you OK? -[mocking] Are you OK, oh, are you OK? 339 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:29,000 Oh, I'm Tracey. Oh, look at me, 340 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:32,240 my crisis in faith amidst the dark and confusing world. 341 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:36,680 [gagging] Penis in my mouth. I put it in my mouth. I take it back out. 342 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,960 Learned my lesson, overcame, now I'm stronger. 343 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:40,720 Well, guess-guess what? Guess what? 344 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:42,640 I'm engaged. 345 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,800 Cynthia, you're gonna be fine, OK, I promise you, you just need water. 346 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,800 I said, "I'm engaged"! 347 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,400 [choking] I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick. 348 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,320 [Connor] Use little Boy Tracy's jacket. 349 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,440 Ah. Ah, that's better. 350 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,240 -[retching] -Ah, yeah. 351 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,920 That's my jacket. Oh, sorry. 352 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,760 Don't rescue me. I'll show you how to be a poet. 353 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,400 Want my fiancée. Fee-yon-say. 354 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,200 Who you gonna marry? 355 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,640 Who? Beyonce. Yeah, that's how you rhyme. 356 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,360 [doorbell rings] 357 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,760 -Tracey. -Nah. 358 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,400 [Connor] What're you talking about? 359 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,480 [indistinct chatter] 360 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,760 in the name of your son, Jesus of Nazareth... 361 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,360 [indistinct chatter continues] 362 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,240 Root out all evil in this house. 363 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,400 Mum. Mum. Mum! 364 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,400 [continue arguing at once] 365 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:49,440 You live on a deprived estate. You should consider auto-lock. 366 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:53,320 Oh, leftovers. May I? 367 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,680 [Cynthia retching] 368 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,320 [soft thud] 369 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,600 I thought that'd be louder. 370 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,200 Bang! Crash! 371 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,240 What is this? Congo-fried chicken? 372 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,320 What is wrong with all of you? 373 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,000 What is this stupid, stupid shit? 374 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,080 [mocking] Oh, look how confidently I use profanities. 375 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,680 You! You don't own me, I am mine! 376 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,440 I don't want to break up with you, 377 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,000 I'm just deeply unhappy in the relationship. 378 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,840 What is so hard to understand about that? Fucking hell, Connor! 379 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:34,920 [chewing loudly] 380 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:38,320 And you! Oh, hi, yeah. 381 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,000 You abused me. 382 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,640 It wasn't severe, it was very mild abuse, 383 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,040 but nonetheless you abused me. 384 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:47,760 You put hair growth cream in my nostrils and all over my face 385 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,160 because you were always trying to change me. Well, guess what? 386 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,200 You cannot change a vagina! 387 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,360 Yeah, yeah, vagina, and breasts. 388 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,600 Little, droopy, saggy breasts. 389 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,760 And they frown when they sag, 390 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,400 when they think about all the abuse that you put me through, 391 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,080 and I have lost my train of thought. 392 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,920 Just embrace yourself, yeah? 393 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,320 Because I would rather kiss my cousin than ever hold your hand again! 394 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,440 [Boy Tracey] Ha! Yeah. 395 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,480 Boy Tracy... 396 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,480 You cannot fuck your cousins. 397 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,800 Yeah? 398 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,560 We will never go back into a time when that is OK, 399 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:27,320 and we will never go into a time when that is trendy or quirky-cool! 400 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,640 -It's legal in the UK. -Oh! 401 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,040 Well, I... didn't know that. 402 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,720 Now, I've got a sick sister to take care of. 403 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,160 So all of you lot can get out, or you can help me! 404 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,680 No, not you. 405 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:46,120 Cynthia, you're gonna be fine, OK? You just need water. 406 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,360 I promise you. Look, 'cause-- 407 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,280 I want my fiancée to rub my back. 408 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,760 You don't have a fiancée, you just need water. 409 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,720 Can someone please get her some water? 410 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,160 [Tracey] Oh! 411 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,560 Thanks, babe. 412 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,760 Yeah... we're engaged. 413 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,840 I did say we were gonna be more than friends. 414 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:08,440 Sorry, Tra... [retching] 415 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,000 [Cynthia] It's fell all over Tracey. 416 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,320 -[Mother] No more tears, my dear. -[Tracey sobbing] 417 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,200 Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. 418 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:27,000 Be clear about what you want. Then nobody can walk all over you. 419 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,200 -Yes, Mum? -Yes, Mum. 420 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,280 Thank you. 421 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,800 There you go. 422 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,440 -I've left your things in the downstairs. -Oh, thank you. [sniffing] 423 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,040 Why? 424 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,960 Well, you cannot live here after your recent "galavantics". 425 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,120 You want to forget the Lord? 426 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:50,840 OK. When you come crawling back to his gates, 427 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,160 better mind out he hasn't forgotten to cut you a key. 428 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,560 -No... -Well, anyway, goodnight, my dear. 429 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,480 -Cynthia! -No, no. Mummy! 430 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,760 Did you see that? 431 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,040 My mum just kicked me out! 432 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,360 [crying] 32989

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