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1
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,640
♪ Life ain't so great, yeahThere'll be dots in the mud ♪
2
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,520
♪ And life ain't HollywoodFor any one of us ♪
3
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,280
♪ If ever you're in doubtJust get your wings out ♪
4
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,000
♪ It's all right, darlingGet your wriggle on ♪
5
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,480
♪ Somewhere ♪
6
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,600
Connor's dick is big.
7
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,040
Not the come-through-up-out-your-mouth-
and-destroy-your-organs-on-the-way
8
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,680
kinda big, which I have seen on Heavy-R,
which I do not want.
9
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,280
Connor's dick is pink,
10
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,880
and that is... interestin'.
11
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,520
Sorta reminds me of raw chicken skin,
but I try not to think about that.
12
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,840
Instead, I go with a long, pink balloon.
13
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,800
That's now. I finally
gonna contend with my vagina.
14
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:15,880
[Tracey] Come on.
15
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,360
I want it now.
16
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,760
I'm sorry. I just...
17
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:28,200
Ah! I just...
18
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,440
I-I don't wanna... you know.
19
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,000
I dunno, man,
you're-you're just...
20
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,920
so pure.
21
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:40,520
I don't understand.
22
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,680
-Do you understand?
-Yeah, yeah.
23
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,120
[Candice] You are too pure.
you need to sext him, bruv.
24
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,240
I am not pure. I am dirty.
25
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,200
I've done it.
Send it, yeah?
26
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,160
All right, let's move on.
27
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,280
Blow-job selfie.
28
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,720
You watchin', yeah?
29
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,600
All right, your turn.
30
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,360
Forget you're a virgin
and channel your slut.
31
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,280
Do you wanna suck his dick
or-or smile at it?
32
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:16,960
Neither.
33
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,680
Tracey, he wants you to push your pussy
in his face,
34
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,400
like you're about to take a shit on it.
35
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,880
He wants to get his nose
all up in there.
36
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,440
Nah, I don't who told you it was common,
this thing--
37
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,640
The selfie is the theory exam
to the driving test,
38
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,920
and you're 100% not ready
to take the driving test, bruv.
39
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,120
You need to do some research.
40
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,880
I think you should talk to Mum about
what you were watching the other night.
41
00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:51,720
What was I watching?
42
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,280
[groaning]
43
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,080
[woman on screen] Oh, yes, mister,in my arse. This feels so good!
44
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,440
[woman moaning]
45
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,640
I won't tell so long as the next word
you utter is "Yes."
46
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,880
May I borrow your laptop, please?
Your laptop, can I borrow, may I--
47
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,120
What are you doin'?
48
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,600
"Asking questions repetitively
signifies importance."
49
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,040
OK, so this method isn't yielding
the results that I--
50
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,200
-Do you want my laptop?
-Yes.
51
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,520
Well, take it.
52
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,520
-Say "Thank you."
-You're welcome.
53
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,560
-OK.
-Yes, of course.
54
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,640
-What you doin'?
-Trying to give you a blow job.
55
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,200
-Why?
-Because I want to.
56
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,960
I thought you weren't
into that sort of thing.
57
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,440
Look, just sit down, sit down
and do it.
58
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,760
All right, uh...
59
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,040
I'm gonna take your penis out now.
OK?
60
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,320
-Yeah, yeah, OK.
-Cool.
61
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,720
Oh, it's, uh... uh...
62
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,080
It's very relaxed.
63
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,960
And I'd say,
"Give me a bit of dirty talk,"
64
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,200
but I-- I know that's not your thing.
65
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,600
-Yeah, yeah, it is. It's...
-I thought it wasn't.
66
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,760
Yeah, well, maybe there's
a lot of things that you think
67
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,120
that you need to not, uh...
68
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,920
'cause it's not...
I do like that-doing that.
69
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,280
-Excuse me. I'm going to do it now.
-All right.
70
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,400
Thank you.
71
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,920
Hello, penis.
72
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,560
Split my bum cheeks.
73
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,320
Tear up my, um, bum hole,
74
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,240
until it's-it's-it's wide enough
75
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,040
for the-the head on your neck to pop in,
76
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,280
and take a look at the view...
77
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,040
inside of my broken bum cheeks.
78
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,280
It didn't work.
OK, so that time, it didn't work.
79
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,800
Oh, dear.
80
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:16,960
Oh, ooh!
81
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,000
-No.
-Yes, it's quite cold.
82
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,840
The electrician's coming
to fix the shower tomorrow.
83
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,440
I told him anytime before 1:00 PM,
so I need you to be awake.
84
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,960
What, you gearing up
for a titty fuck?
85
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,400
-Don't leave, Mum.
-Where are you, where you going?
86
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,480
Get this.
87
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,400
-Turns out, I have a job, yeah?
-Here we go.
88
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,800
It's this place that I go that keeps us
inside a flat and outside arrears.
89
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:43,960
-Tracey, put your clothes back on--
-No, don't mind me.
90
00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,520
Someone's has to pay
for your useless notepads and pencils.
91
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,160
I'll see ya later, yeah? It ain't me.
It's Mum. She wants to talk.
92
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,520
No, she don't.
93
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,120
Girl to girl, you can't titty fuck
with tits like yours.
94
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,440
You got the tits of a 40-year-old,
with triplets.
95
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,840
I'm just sayin'. Not being funny.
96
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,680
-[Connor] Mum, I ain't done with this!
-Oh, shut it!
97
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,640
-[Connor] Stop walking away from me.
-[Doreen] Can we talk about this later?
98
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,800
[breathing heavily]
99
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,360
[woman moaning]
100
00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,440
[Cynthia moaning]
101
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,880
[Kristy] This better
fuckin' be human hair.
102
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,520
'Course it is.
103
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,640
Kristy, how much were your, um...
104
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,760
Oh, mate, ain't even worth it.
105
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,720
Three years saving up
Job Seekers' Allowance
106
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:46,880
just for the cheap ones.
107
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,400
I can flip 'em back to front.
It's my party trick.
108
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,880
-What you ask her about that for?
-Um, Connor's mum said--
109
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,400
I should've told you
about underwear time ago, you know, babe.
110
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,880
-It's just that--
-I told you to tell her numerous times.
111
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,600
-What is wrong with my boobies?
-They droop.
112
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,400
No, don't be out of order, dar.
They're like earrings.
113
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,320
No, earrings dangle. Her tits droop.
114
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,120
'Cause you're always running for the bus.
115
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,600
You are and when you do, I worry.
116
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,280
I think to myself they're gonna be
scraping the floor in half a decade.
117
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:18,040
All any man wants
is cooked meals and good boobs.
118
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,680
Yeah. and if not good boobs, four of 'em.
119
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:21,920
Tell me about it.
120
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,760
"Babes, I been thinking about
a threesome, you know."
121
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,120
-They all want a threesome.
-Yeah, but never with John or Mark.
122
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,600
Yeah. No, no,
'cause they're biblical names.
123
00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,160
'Cause they're guys!
124
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,920
Listen, if I said
to any straight man,
125
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,280
"Let's find another guy on 3zup
and I'll wiggle my clit
126
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,080
while you two kiss each other,"
he'd die instantly.
127
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:43,840
He'd die instantly, yeah!
And I would laugh at, like, his funeral.
128
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:49,640
Imagine... if he didn't even know
what 3zup was!
129
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,600
Hey, Esther, like,
what would we say then...
130
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,800
over his grave, like,
to explain what it was?
131
00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,520
Oh, bless. If you're
looking for a threesome,
132
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,920
you can find two other people
who are also looking,
133
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,000
or one other
if you're a couple.
134
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,680
3zup.
135
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,720
-It's an app.
-Thank you, Esther.
136
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,600
Yeah, why is a threesome with a man
so ridiculous,
137
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,800
but one with a woman
so obviously possible?
138
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,920
[Kristy] As long as she's uglier than me,
I don't mind.
139
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,560
[Karly] Ugly, pretty.
I'm fine with my cockatoo.
140
00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,520
Yeah, why do I have to
like another girl's breasts
141
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,760
just 'cause I like my own?
142
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,320
Exactly, you've got a dick, it don't mean
you want one for dinner.
143
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,320
I have to say that I am partial
to a bit of cunt.
144
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,000
[women laughing]
145
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,000
-Nan!
-Just as a starter.
146
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,760
About 1965, I was 16,
147
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,640
and me and the swim coach
were the last to leave.
148
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,760
She leans over and kisses me
on the lips, all of a sudden.
149
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,200
Right on the street, down there.
Round the corner.
150
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,360
3Zup, I got a message.
151
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,480
Sasha.She's kinky, experimental, 26, bi.
152
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,320
I don't understand.
153
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:03,640
She was saying,
"Hi, greetings, I'm Sasha," not "Bye."
154
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:08,160
Anyway, she looks nice.
She's eating soup in her picture.
155
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,200
That's nice. She likes Buzzfeed,
doodling and kale chips, yeah?
156
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,240
She's nice. I'll pick this one.
157
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,640
Then she pulled up my skirt,
she kneeled down...
158
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,040
saliva'd on my vaginals,
159
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,520
and injected her middle finger
up as far up it as it would go...
160
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,600
"Meet you at location, EG hotel!"
161
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,280
You know what?
I'm gonna make it happen.
162
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,760
...and pumping it back and forth
in me pum.
163
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,120
I carry that night.
164
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,920
[cellphone beeps]
165
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:41,040
That was quick.
Three-way sex. "Yay," she said.
166
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,040
I'm going to have a threesome
to get my twosome.
167
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,160
Sometimes, you've gotta do
what you got to do, innit?
168
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:47,240
Yeah, yeah.
169
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,920
♪ Gonna bang himHe's gonna bang me ♪
170
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000
♪ Gonna lose my virginity ♪
171
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,480
♪ I'm 24, tits are saggyBut tits times two means he's happy ♪
172
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,080
-Here we go. 3zup. Ay, ay.
-What are you doing?
173
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,200
Just itching my leg, yeah.
I think I got bitten by something.
174
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,280
A unicorn is a single girl
willing to have a threesome
175
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,400
with a straight couple.
176
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,120
They're so rare,
they're called unicorns.
177
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,160
And I found one.
178
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,800
Not 'cause of luck, no,
179
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,680
but because when I want something
I go out there
180
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,880
and I grab the unicorn by its horns
and that unicorn is mine.
181
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,240
No joke.
I even got a hotel for 14 pounds!
182
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,960
Why aren't I
on The Apprentice or someth--
183
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,360
Here, pound to spare?
184
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,360
I've got to feed my kid.
I'm not a druggie, I swear.
185
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,720
No, sorry.
186
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,320
Actually, I'm lost.
I'm looking for 48 Ferndale Road.
187
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,320
-It's here.
-No, I'm looking for flats.
188
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,400
Oh, Airbnb?
189
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:37,880
Yes...
190
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,280
I'm Doreen. We've been messaging.
I'll take you in.
191
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,360
That's... that's a butcher's.
192
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,400
Yeah, it's out the back.
193
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,680
[porno music]
194
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,840
[flies buzzing]
195
00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,160
[Tracey] Um...
196
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,280
Look, uh...
197
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,160
it looks really different
to the pictures online.
198
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,440
[Doreen] Well, what do you want to do?
'Cause we don't do refunds.
199
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,760
Where's the bathroom?
200
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,720
You said you wanted a room, not two.
201
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,160
If you want two I can try and sort it out,
but it'll be another--
202
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,280
No, no. It will be fine.
203
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,560
-What do you want it for, anyways?
-A threesome.
204
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,120
The usual. Right.
There's a couple condoms in the corner.
205
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,320
You might have to sift
through the used ones.
206
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,440
Thank you!
207
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,880
But if you want a fresh one,
that's an additional charge.
208
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:33,400
Yeah, yeah, thank you.
You know why?
209
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,800
Because it's dirty,
and I'm dirty, not pure.
210
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:38,640
Planned this.
211
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,120
I planned it.
I planned all of this.
212
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,200
All of this.
213
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,320
Dirty. Love it.
214
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,160
[whimpers]
215
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,360
Forgive me.
216
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,040
[gasps]
217
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,560
[Sasha] OK, that's her.
Stop.
218
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,000
I said stop.
219
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,640
Jeez, Louise. They say it's next door...
220
00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,040
the amount of traffic in between
221
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,880
makes it feel like Surrey
is on a different continent.
222
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,760
Nice to meet you, Tracey, I'm Henry.
223
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,720
You all right, Henry?
224
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,320
So, the other guy is Caucasian, right?
225
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,320
'Cause he looked Caucasian in the photo.
226
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,160
Please, darling, just keep an eye
on your purse this time.
227
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,640
Not outside the privacy
of our own home, OK?
228
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:38,440
This one's my friend.
229
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,400
But what about the other black people
at the party?
230
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,640
Dad, you can
get out of my life now.
231
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,600
Have fun, darling.
Don't drink too much.
232
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,640
We're not paying for your stomach
to be pumped again.
233
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,200
I'm not listening!
234
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,360
-Bye.
-Bye.
235
00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,160
[engine revving]
236
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,880
You all right, unicorn?
237
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:07,120
Sorry, these are literally really good,
like, I couldn't hear anything.
238
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,080
So, the guy other guy is white, right?
239
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,440
Yeah.
240
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,200
Tracey, I'm gonna be honest with you.
I'm already wet.
241
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,800
Not you, not you.
242
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,160
Ugh! Oh, no, no, yuck.
Disgusting.
243
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,200
Father, forgive me yet guide me.
244
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,440
[computer pings]
245
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:30,800
Ooh.
246
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,440
Hello? Can you hear me?
247
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,240
[whispers] Can you see me?
248
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,640
Yes. Why did you have to beso beautiful?
249
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,080
Oh, dear.
250
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,160
What are you wearing?
251
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,680
I'm wearing
my favorite greenbl--
252
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,840
can you angle the camera
at your penis?
253
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,680
Uh-oh, you've got pants on.
254
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,120
I'm going to have to go now.
255
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,640
[man crying]
256
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,120
I'm gonna kill myself!
257
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:10,880
Oh, right.
258
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,480
-[Tracey]Ready?
-Yeah.
259
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:16,920
Surprise!
260
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,680
Why we here? What's that?
261
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,800
Uh, she's a unicorn.
262
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:24,320
Eh?
263
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,320
She wants to have sex with both of us
at the same time for free.
264
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,120
Eh?
265
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,440
Ah!
266
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,640
What's her name?
267
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,200
-Uh, it's, uh, Sasha.
-Sasha. Yeah?
268
00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,240
-Yeah.
-Fuck. Why here?
269
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,640
Because... I like it dirty.
270
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,440
Mm-hmm.
271
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,720
Hello, sex scenes from
12 Years A Slave entering my mind
272
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,880
via my vagina as we speak.
273
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,720
Hey, bro. Sasha.
274
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:57,640
Hello.
275
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,520
Can we...
can we talk, please?
276
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,680
Yeah.
Sasha, can you put your...
277
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,200
Thanks.
278
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,960
-What's up, babe?
-Well...
279
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,720
first things first,
the unicorn's got leprosy.
280
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,440
No, she... it's just a scratch.
281
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,440
No, nah, I ain't on it.
282
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,560
[Sasha moaning]
283
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,160
Ah.
284
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,160
Oh, shit.
285
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,720
Ah!
286
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,360
Ah!
287
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:43,280
I suppose I developeda kind of numbness to it all,
288
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,080
[sobbing] the loneliness,
289
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,280
living my life throughthis stupid screen,
290
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,640
watching girls like yourself.
291
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:56,160
That's incorrect. I'm not
a part of that group of women, so...
292
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,480
You're the only person in my life.
293
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,120
Please don't go!Don't go, don't go...
294
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,360
[man sobbing]
295
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:06,880
Who's in there with you?
296
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,560
No one, I'm just trying to look for
a way out of the conversation.
297
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,600
[together] Oh, yeah, yeah.
298
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:18,920
I didn't know you liked girls.
299
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,480
I don't, I don't.
300
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,080
Hey!
Mm, Sasha, we are so buff.
301
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,840
But, oh, that's-that's your hands on my...
OK.
302
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,200
Oh, you're takin' it...
303
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,080
but what if I don't want to?
I might not want...
304
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,680
-Too late. There goes me bra.
-Ooh, yeah!
305
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,320
[Sasha pants]
306
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,800
Those are nice.
It's very tweakable nipples.
307
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,440
Where did you get those from?
308
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,040
Hey, hey, your bra,
put it back on.
309
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,240
-What?
-Put your bra back on.
310
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,800
-OK. Yes.
-Hide your boobies.
311
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,280
You're supposed to be helping me lose
my v-reg, not your v-reg.
312
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,280
-Supposed to be helping me, blad.
-OK.
313
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,960
[Tracey] What kind of unicorn are you?
314
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,600
Hey... hey!
315
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,320
What?
316
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,800
My Dad's not coming till the morning.
317
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:08,000
-Henry.
-OK, my love?
318
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:12,000
Yeah, yeah, which means we've got
all night, yeah?
319
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,440
-Yeah?
-OK, yeah, yeah. All right.
320
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,840
By the way, I have cold sores.
321
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,240
-Do you really? I didn't...
-Yeah.
322
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,680
-Dodge the face.
-Oh! Ooh!
323
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,960
I can't--I can't lie, this is...
this is a bit hot.
324
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,040
Why don't you come on in here, bro?
325
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,360
Oh, all right.
326
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,160
Don't you have a family?
327
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,360
I used to but, um...
328
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,800
now they hate me.
329
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,320
Aw! I've been where you are.
330
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,360
My sister acts like she doesn't like me
331
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,360
but I know that I'm her greatest friend.
332
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:49,840
The last time I saw my sister,I was on my knees and I cried.
333
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,400
Then she threwa ham sandwich in my face!
334
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,320
OK, no, not quite the same then,
we don't eat pork.
335
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,560
[Sasha moans]
336
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,240
Not so pure now, am I?
337
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,520
-Aah!
-No.
338
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,840
No, you've always been
a dirty bitch.
339
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,880
Sorry, one second.
First of all, I'm not a bitch, OK?
340
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,200
Second of all,
you said I was too pure to penetrate.
341
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,320
I never said that!
342
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,560
Yeah, all right, just chill out, yeah?
Just chill out!
343
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:30,440
Yes, you did. That's the whole reason
I got the unicorn in the first place.
344
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,560
Unicorn? That sounds fun.
What is that, like, a cowboy thing?
345
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,200
-Yeah! Yeah, something like this.
-Argh!
346
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,880
Look, Connor,
you didn't want to have sex before,
347
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,400
and now you wanna have sex,
the only difference is her.
348
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:41,960
Look, I know I've dangly boobs, OK?
349
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,840
Is it my boobs?
I'm gonna buy a bra with a wire.
350
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,320
-I'm gonna buy the wire bra, yeah?
-[Sasha] Oh, I love them.
351
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,480
-Argh!
-Ooh.
352
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:53,560
Oh, no.
353
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,600
[Sasha choking]
354
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,040
I think I should go.
355
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:03,160
No, no, no,you just cry right there.
356
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,840
You look so beautiful when you cry.
357
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,280
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
358
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,840
-Are you scared?
-Yes.
359
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,400
Would you like to touch yourselfa little bit while you cry?
360
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,160
-No.
-Fine, I'll just wank one out.
361
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,920
What... what?
362
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,880
I'll jump off, and when I go blue,
363
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,400
and can no longer hold on to my dick,
364
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,080
scream "Stop."
365
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,440
Wha-what? I don't understand...
366
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,360
One, two,
367
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:31,960
three.
368
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:33,600
[man sputters]
369
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,240
Stop! STOP!
370
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,360
[gasps]
371
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,480
Ah! That was great!
372
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,800
That was fucking great,
373
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,520
wasn't it?
374
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,200
Again. Now. Yeah?
375
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,640
Argh!
376
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,920
[moaning]
377
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,520
-Go on, then, you've got one.
-You've got a dick.
378
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,720
Do you know what to do
with the next man's dick, Connor?
379
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,800
You, Lupita.
380
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:11,080
Who?
381
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,920
Don't worry, bro,
would never have left you out.
382
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,680
You get the big one.
383
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:23,840
Thank you.
384
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,920
-What's it for?
-I don't know!
385
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,520
Obviously I don't know.
386
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,800
Ah, I'm losing my boner.
387
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,840
It's not the spoons, is it?
388
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:35,920
I just...
389
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000
over the last couple of months
I keep getting this
390
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,560
"don't fuck up, don't fuck up" thing
in my head, and then I just...
391
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,080
oh, I just lose it.
392
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,800
Mm-hmm. OK.
393
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,480
Oh, nope. Yeah, not that, Sash.
394
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,760
Jesus Christ! Come up.
Can I talk to you?
395
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,280
Can I...?
Normal conversation, please. Great.
396
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,360
Thanks.
397
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,600
Look, my boyfriend,
he can't get it...
398
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,960
Oh, erectile dysfunction?
399
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,480
No, no, definitely not.
400
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,520
-Let's use toys.
-I just wanted him to bust my vulva.
401
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,040
Hey, hey, hey,
402
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,240
you escaped Michael Fassbender,
this is yet another struggle to overcome.
403
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,240
Sasha, who are all these people?
404
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,560
Tracey, look at the gays, OK?
405
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,040
Bum sex is rarely the order of the day.
406
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,680
They do loads of other shit,
they use loads of other bits.
407
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,400
Stop making his dick the center of sex.
408
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,960
Dick-centric sex sucks.
409
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:26,440
Um...
410
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,280
no, no. I don't want that.
411
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,240
♪ Jesus, you are the only one ♪
412
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,440
She can do it.
413
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,040
Jesus.
414
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,080
[groans]
415
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,960
It's just the two of us now, babe.
416
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,320
Just relax.
417
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,080
OK.
418
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:16,880
Oh.
419
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:18,720
Oh, I see.
420
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,440
That's actually, uh, something else.
That's quite nice.
421
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,480
Um, ooh.
422
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,440
-Connor?
-Yeah?
423
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,160
What do I do if I need to fart?
424
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:32,840
[Connor mumbles]
425
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,400
I'm just aware of how close
you are to my bum...
426
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,320
oh, oh.
427
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,680
[moaning]
428
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,760
-Tracey, I'm still hard.
-Yeah?
429
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,120
-Oh!
-Yeah. Shall we do it?
430
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,080
Oh, OK, yeah.
431
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,000
You're beautiful.
432
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,240
OK, I think I'm ready.
433
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,240
-Ow! Ow!
-Aah!
434
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,040
What? That was just the tip.
435
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,920
Oh, my God.
Just do the thing with the tongue.
436
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,120
Please just do that again.
That's very nice. I like that one.
437
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:18,640
Fair enough.
438
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,840
[Sasha] Guys, you sound so hot right now.
439
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,480
[Tracey] Oh, Sasha, chill, man.
32518
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