All language subtitles for Celebrity MasterChef A Recipe for Success - 1x01_track3_eng

15 years, two judges - you
and me, Gregg,

over 300 celebrities and literally
thousands of plates of food.

Some of them have been great.

I love it.

Some of them - not so great.

Oh, God.

We've trawled our vaults to bring
some of our favourite moments

from the past.

Picked some of our most
memorable challenges

to share with everybody in full.

SCREAMING

It's all here,
the kitchen meltdowns...

CLATTERING

...the chaos...

Oh!

Ah!

Come on!

...the singing, the dancing...

...and of course,
the food disasters...

Whoa!

...and the triumphs.
Delicious.

HE SCREAMS AND LAUGHS

Sharpen the knives...

...light the stoves...

...it's 15 years
of Celebrity MasterChef.

Come o-o-on!

Cooking doesn't get funnier
than this.

In tonight's show,
we go back to basics, Gregg.

CLATTERING

Do first impressions really count...

...as celebrities get their first
taste of the MasterChef kitchen?

That piece of protein is
crocodile. ls it?

There's an alien on my kitchen.

SHE LAUGHS

GREGG: We look back at some of
the best...

That is one of the most impressive
mystery box rounds I've seen.

...and the worst food from the early
Celebrity MasterChef round.

And we'll be revisiting a classic
MasterChef challenge from 2008.

Get ready to be blown away.

EXPLOSION

15 years.

That's a lot of wine under
the bridge, in't it, john?

I'll tell you what, it's been a lot
of food under the belt.

Seriously, though, I absolutely
love Celebrity MasterChef,

and it never fails to entertain.

Surprise after surprise, triumph
after triumph.

I've had some fantastic times
doing Celebrity MasterChef,

met some amazing people.
john, do you know what?

It's been a proper
giggle from beginning to end.

APPLAUSE

HE WHOOPS

Over the years, we've found some
outstanding cooks...

It's quite nice to be first!

It's just mad! It's M for mad.
The whole thing's been mad.

"From our first-ever winner,
Matt Dawson, to our most recent,

Riyadh Khalaf.

Back in 2006, when we first
opened our kitchen doors

to celebrities, we really didn't
know what to expect, did we?

We didn't care about their musical
hits,

their sporting medals,
or acting achievements.

It was only about one thing.

Could they cook?

They walk in the kitchen for
the very first time.

They put their aprons on.

Do it to the side, so you can see
it.

Oh, it's
very glamorous, that way, isn't it?

Why didn't I think of it?

That's when the penny drops.

Oh.

Well, you say that, john,
but it didn't for

music legend jimmy Osmond.

Now that I know I'm cooking
today, I'm a bit nervous.

I thought I was just saying
"hi" to everyone.

Now, at the beginning, we like to
keep it basic.

The first test is always
daunting for them.

They're never told in advance
what they'll have to do,

and they're always nervous.

We just want to get a basic
idea of how much they know

and what they can cook,

which is why we set them
an invention test or a mystery box.

Oh.

I don't know what that is.

I honestly love the look on their
faces when they lift the lid.

I've gone completely blank.
It's really frightening. I've...

No.

In fact, we'll be really scared if
you do.

You'll have just 50 minutes to
cook for us

one plate of food.

He who dares, wins.

Whoa, to be honest,
I'll be happy if I can eat it.

Good luck. Let's cook.

Let's cook. Let's cook.

Let's cook. Let's cook.

Seeing the celebrities cook
for the very first time gives

you and I a really good idea of how
good they really are or actually

how little they know.

I've never made placenta before.

Shappi, just so that you know, this
stuff is not called placenta.

It's called polenta.

SHE LAUGHS
OK?

It always worries me when you
realise that some of them

don't have the foggiest.

I have no idea what that is. Right.

I have no idea what that is.

So, what are you going to do for us?

I'm going to do a mash and I'm going
to do the duck with some seasoning.

That's one plate. No, no.

The mash will be a dish on its own.

Have you decided what it is you're
going to make for us?

That chicken you're cooking with,

would it be underneath the duck
breast you've been slicing?

And some just get themselves
in a right old mess.

How have you managed to get a piece

of herb under your glasses like
that?

Can you show that...?
How did you manage that?

Do you cook at home?

Do you have a style, Sue?

Sue a la mode.

You don't plan that much?
It's what's there or...?

Why don't you remove that bit of...?

We aren't looking for fine dining or
perfect presentation.

We just want to see if they have

basic understanding of
ingredients...

...and equipment.

Oh! It's a pestle and mortar,
isn't it?

That's a good start.
LAUGHTER

Smashing it!

Arlene? What's that, look?

0h!

JOHN COUGHS

SCREAMING

I love food.
SCREAMING

And, uh... Gregg! What?

Get out of my kitchen!

I didn't do that.

Right, we'll start again.

Not setting the kitchen on fire is
a major plus.

We know it's daunting. No!

But they can't afford to let
their nerves take over!

Craig, have you managed
to calm your nerves

because you were actually
physically shaking?

L'm going to Cry-

This is torture, I've discovered.

I'm so scared.
SHE SIGHS

ljust need...

I need... I need... A valium is what
I need right now.

We get ill.

That we think it's delicious.

The most important thing
is, you've got to have a plan

with the invention test.

Saira, you look

a little bit nervous.

I'm actually panicking.

WhY 6 panic?

Because I'm an Indian Asian
girl and I need chilli.

And there's no chilli.

It helps if you know what you're
cooking, from the start.

So, where's your cook's mind
going right now?

I think chicken is going to be
my option. And serve it with what?

That's a good question.
I don't know what to make here.

We had cheese on there, beans,
redcurrants and a sprig of thyme.

I think the way you cook is
brilliant, but the way

you're putting stuff together is

bordering on the ridiculous.
Oh, God.

"L know what to do with those.
Uh-huh. I'll do that."

And then, "Oh, I'll do that."

"Have I got time for that?
Yeah, yeah, I'll do that."

You know, it was just like some kind
of, I don't know,

party bag going on.
Everything in there.

I'll say it time and time again,

to succeed in the invention test,
you've got to have a plan,

you've got to go with it,
and you've got to have all

the ingredients to actually make
the dish, from the start.

You can't just magic them
out of thin air!

So, what are you making?

I think I'm making a raspberry
cheesecake.

Isn't there often cheese in
a cheesecake? There...

No, there's cream ch...
There's cream...

Yes. OK.

You can't make a cheesecake without
any cream cheese.

Presently, got a bowl full of
raspberry milkshake,

with an egg white in it,

which she is hoping, in some
way, will set.

I'm going to garnish this
really nicely,

so they don't know it's actually
not a cheesecake.

Do you remember in 2012, when we
gave them a pigeon as a main ingredient?

These celebs' first visit to
the MasterChef kitchen

and they get a pigeon and a stick
of rhubarb thrown at them.

It couldn't get any tougher.

The head on the pigeon, it's still
got its guts in.

Oh! Oh, that's liver.

While the pigeon scared
a few of them,

it didn't faze Pop Idol's
Gareth Gates.

Have you ever prepared
a pigeon before?

So, your food is about aesthetic?

Can you visualise the finished dish
in your head?

Can you?

Yay! Sorry.

Brilliant. So...

Are the gods smiling at you?

Are you at one with the spirit
in the sky?

Right, OK.

Guys, you've got just 90
seconds left.

You've got 30 seconds.

That's it! Time's up.

Gareth Gates' dish was a triumph.

It was amazing.

Wonderful, iron-rich pigeon
and a really

beautifully seasoned,
sweet carrot puree.

I think it's really very, very
good indeed.

So, so impressed, Gareth.

I'm really impressed cos this was
a mystery box.

You've had no chance to practise
this at all.

Now, a pigeon wasn't the only
curveball ingredient

we've surprised our celebs with.

That piece of protein is crocodile.
Is it?

I want a crocodile sandwich.
Make it snappy.

We remember very, very well, once
they saw the crocodile, they all got

a little bit nervous, but actually,

if you treat crocodile like a piece
of fish, monkfish, or even a piece

of chicken, it works a treat.

Fry it, roast it, slice it

really thinly, turn it into
a stir fry.

It's just another piece of meat.

It's the word "crocodile"
that scared them.

But The Young Ones and Bottom
legend Ade Edmondson

was willing to give it a go.

I don't suppose you've ever
cooked crocodile, have you?

No. This is it. I'm going to have
a little taste now.

What's it taste like? Chicken.

And Cold Feet actor John Thomson
didn't seem fazed either.

What is that on your bench that
you've done there?

John, he improvised and made us
good old crocodile goujons.

Your crocodile's cooked beautifully,
with a crispy outside.

Are you feeling better
now, John?

The spider crab in 2013 scared a few
of the celebs...

There's an alien on my kitchen.

...but not fiery broadcaster
Janet Street-Porter.

I could do something in this.

I could make Gregg a hat out of it
or something.

Yeah, you could do, or you could...

Do you have an idea what you're
going to cook

or no idea at all yet?

Urn... So, the answer is no.

You haven't decided yet. No.

Oh, I remember Janet well. She was
a good, knowledgeable cook.

But the one thing she didn't
like was feedback.

She hated any criticism at all.

You knew you wanted to use
the shell,

so you've put a spinach salad in it?

Yeah. Are you complaining
or stating?

I think the only reason to use
the shell is to serve crab meat

in it, not to serve a salad in it.

Well, we'll have to agree to
differ on that, Gregg.

Then I'm really pleased that I make
the decision

whether you advance or not, and not
you.

You've got to love Janet, though,
don't you?

Back in 2011, we threw the celebs
off guard with a squirrel!

THEY LAUGH

Now, it sounds ridiculous, but they
are actually very popular

in many parts of the world.

Low in fat, abundant, and completely
free-range.

Newsreader Kirsty Wark got stuck
right in.

You're making a squirrel pie with
bones in it? I am, because

one way or other, they're going to

have to get the bones out anyway.

So, I think all the other flavours,
they melt in your mouth and leave

those bones behind.

The only person I've ever
seen enjoy a pie with bones

in it was Desperate Dan. Good man.

John, I thought Kirsty Wark was
going bananas.

I mean, I just couldn't imagine
this squirrel pie with bones

and all would work!

Yum! Thank you.

I'm blown away by that.

I came here with every intention of
disliking it,

I look down, I thought, "Great, big,
horrible-looking scruffy plate",

but there is no denying how good
that tastes, Kirsty.

Thank you.

Some years, we set a different sort
of first test, to find out

if our celebs have a clue about
the basics.

We gave them the ingredients
and asked them to make a well-known

dish, something everyone cooks
at home, like a pizza.

Now, you'd think making
a pizza is fairly

straightforward, wouldn't you?

If all they've got to do is stretch
out some dough,

slap on a base, and choose some
toppings, and get it in the oven.

But even something as basic as that,
threw Men Behaving Badly star

Leslie Ash in 2014.

You've got plenty of time, you know?

One trick for young players is that
you need to put a bit

of flour under your dough,

as comedian Josie Long, in 2019,
found out.

That looks all right, mate.
We'll see, right?

It is not sliding.

Oh, that is a critical error!

Oh, no!

Josie's having a nightmare. Her
pizza's all over the place.

This is a disaster. Oh, no!

This is so sad!

I don't want to go home!

As did Made In Chelsea star
Millie Mackintosh.

Millie seemed very calm, until she
realised she had to try

and get the pizza off the tray
she assembled it on,

and get it into the oven.

Now, the reason we set these
basic tests is we want them

to succeed and give us
something edible.

I mean, everybody makes
a burger at home, don't they?

I clearly remember TV presenter
Alison Hammond

loving the challenge...

One for me.

...but her portion sizes were
slightly off.

You have got a bit of a size issue.

You've got a little burger
in a big bun.

I knew I should have used the bigger
one! You cooked

a bigger one, but you...?
I had two burgers cooked, right?

And I thought, "l'm going to give
you the little one."

And you ate the big one?
I ate the other one.

Sometimes, the celebrities' basic
cooking knowledge

is really called into question.

Last year, Towie star joey Essex,
football bad boy Razor Ruddock,

former Marine Andy Grant,
fashion icon Zandra Rhodes,

and Strictly's Oti Mabuse
were tasked

with simply making sausages.

JOHN EXHALES

Love it.

I don't think any of them had
come across

a sausage-making machine before.

The sausages have to be made
from scratch.

I didn't even know you could do
that.

You'd think only a sausage factory

could make a sausage, do you know
what I'm saying?

All we ask is it's edible.

OTI LAUGHS

The moment they got their hands
on that sausage maker, john,

it took me back to my kids
playing with Play-Doh.

Never made a sausage before, so
we'll see what happens.

NEIL WAILS

First time for everything, isn't it?

That's why it's a challenge,
lsuppose.

Neil, have you made a sausage
before?

I don't want to be rude, but you
have the reputation of a bit

of a rabble-rouser.

And when
we turn up the pressure...?

I normally, on a regular basis,
cook for my husband.

The last time I cooked for him,
I managed to give

myself food poisoning.

So, I don't think that's
a good sign.

We've got a beef, honey
and cheese sausage. Yeah.

Haven't had one of those in a while!
Yeah! It's going to be really

interesting. I don't know how
it tastes.

I know. I don't know how...
I'm just trying!

You said, "Be creative". I'm trying!

Watching joey cut up that pork,
ready to mince, was ridiculous.

How can you actually cook without
touching anything?

So, tell me how you're
approaching this?

What's your sausage going to be?

A pork sausage.

Joey has got his sausage mixture on
the go and it seems

to be just fat.

WHISPERING:

The problem with Joey's sausage is

it might be just fat, and the whole
thing might melt away.

John, it was absolute mayhem.

Those sausages were all over
the place!

You ever made a sausage?

I didn't learn to knot it in time,
so I'm going to do an artistic

Zandra Rhodes wiggle.

Zandra Rhodes's sausages
were extraordinary.

And when they hit the pan,
they were like two aliens cooking.

She hasn't had time to be able to
tie them,

so she's being inventive
and artistic

and making a Zandra wiggle.

Oh, it looks quite pretty. Look at
how they've swollen up.

You've got two minutes.
OTI YELLS

We've
all managed to make a sausage!

ANDY:

Remarkably, in the end, we actually
did get five plates of sausages,

even if some of them did taste
a little bit weird.

They had, I would say, a bit of
artistic licence.

You haven't put chives in
your sausage.

You've put thyme in your
sausage. Time?

Yeah. Time? Thyme.

What do you mean "time"?
It's a herb called thyme.

GIGGLING

ls that good? Pork and thyme is
a lovely flavour combination.

There you go. ls that chive in
the mash?

That's dill.

They're all green, joey.

We've seen it all, over the years.

And to be fair, Gregg, most of it
has been edible. But there

have been some absolute horrors
along the way.

I have no idea what comedian
Shappi Khorsandi was thinking

with that polenta and goat dish.

What's in that dressing?

I don't know. I can't remember.
I... I panicked.

Tastes like dishwashing detergent.

I think it's fair to say Sarah
Harding should stick to singing.

JOHN GASPS
A bit too much Limoncello.

There's so much Limoncello in there,
I can't even remember

what I've eaten.

Sprinter Darren Campbell was
thinking more hydration

than flavour.

What is the base of the soup?

Water.

LAUGHTER

How watery that is... Yeah.
..Is not nice. Yep.

What are the four slices of bread
for? To mop up the water.

DARREN LAUGHS

Dick and Dom star Richard
made risotto

that still gives me nightmares.

It's not right, mate. I'm sorry.

I like you, but that is nasty.

Didn't Gimme Gimme Gimme
star Brian Bovell

do something grisly with
a pomegranate?

Did you just take the whole
pomegranate and blend

the whole pomegranate up?

I washed it first.

You washed it first? Yeah.

Let's focus on the chicken.

Heiress Lady Isabella Hervey proved
she didn't do much cooking

at home at all.

I'm not sure I want to eat that.

And no-one, macho man or otherwise,

would want to go anywhere near
Sinitta's spinach

and beef mousse Wellington.

That's raw meat. Not good,
I'm afraid.

Oh, yes. We have had some
complete disasters.

Stuff that you and I would not

want to stick our knife, our fork,
our spoon, or even our fingers in.

Olympic gold medallist Tessa
Sanderson might be able to throw

a javelin, but if we had eaten
what she made us,

we would ALL have been throwing up.

CLICKING

Chicken is almost raw.

Potatoes are almost raw.

The carrots - almost raw.

I do cook better than that at home.

Former England cricketer
Monty Panesar didn't exactly

bowl us over.

We've got an omelette with raw
veg in it,

undercooked sweet potato,
undercooked mushroom,

and burnt onion.

And as for The One Show presenter
Michelle Ackerley's rice...

How did you get that to hold
together like that, Michelle?

That is some culinary art.

You know you've overcooked your
rice when you offer your guests

a slice of it.

But, john, I have to say, sometimes
I'm really surprised

at what the celebs can
pull out the bag.

Right, back, back, back!

Do you remember how nervous
Susannah Constantine was?

Well, she actually produced not one
but two fantastic early dishes.

I don't know where these dishes
come from.

If you made it up, you are bordering
on genius.

It's just clever. Thank you.

I don't think I've ever been praised
so highly about anything

in my life before.

It's made me feel very emotional.

TV personality Christine Hamilton...

...she melted under our praise.

The closest to a cuddle you
will ever

get in a plate of food.

Love it!

We love it when we get good food.
And when it goes right -

well, it fills us with joy.

TV presenter Andi Peters made an
exceptional start

in the competition.

If that tastes anywhere near as good
as it looks,

I'm going to be a very, very happy
bald bloke.

Andi, it actually tastes
better than it looks.

And Loose Women's
Nadia Sawalha proved early

on she had what it takes to be
a champion.

I would demolish plate after plate.
NADIA LAUGHS

john, I'm not too sure.

Delicious. Ah! Really?!

And our praise left TV presenter
Rylan Clark-Neal stunned.

This is the best-looking plate
in the room.

Ooh, yeah!

Ooh!

But no-one was more shocked than
former cricketer Phil Tufnell.

That is an absolute triumph,
the scallop is beautifully cooked.

It's probably as good as anything
we've seen.

LAUGHTER

Well, I think it's safe to say that
Phil Tufnell was pretty happy

with that feedback.

Oh!

You jammy git!

Making it through the first round
isn't easy, but harder

still is what comes next,

as we continually challenge our
celebs to see if they have the

base skills to go further.

Can they make a sauce?
Can they poach an egg?

Can they use a pasta machine?

How does that go?

Just cut it?

Dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

Filleting fish, now that is one
basic skill

that always throws them.

Right.

Game On regular Neil Stuke
didn't do much better.

Filleting a fish is not one of your
strengths, is it?

Back in 2011, actor Margi Clarke
took an unorthodox approach

when it came to making
basic ravioli.

She thought she would get through
the test...

...well, with a bit of flirting.

We can't help you. You're going to
have to work it out for yourself.

You've had about three
and a half minutes so far.

How are your ravioli going?

I can't tell you, Margi.

It's not fair. It's cheating.

Oh, my word.

No.

All the flirting in the world
wouldn't have made

up for that ravioli.

It was dreadful.

Now, you'd think making a basic
kebab would be within everybody's grasp.

But not tennis star Henri Leconte.

He might be formidable in
a Grand Slam, but his skills

in the kitchen didn't match.

OK. I don't know.

I really am completely...
I don't know.

I have no idea.

Come on, Henri, you can do this.

An oeuf...

Yes, with an egg.

We're on the way now, Henri.
I think. We're working.

I think we're working. Good.
Now, we'll mix.

Right, think about how you're going
to cook it and how big

they've got to be to cook them.

Whilst those are cooking, do you
think you can do something else?

HENRI SIGHS

Hummus.

Ah, maybe you can put a lot of
things inside! Yeah, right! Ah, oui!

Alors...

Oh! Mais oui!

Take the lid out.

It's inside the lid.

GREGG LAUGHS

Under pressure, they do make
the silliest of mistakes.

Another one I remember was when you
showed us how to make

a prawn cocktail.

Simple.

That's right. Make a
Marie Rose sauce...

...with mayonnaise and tomato ketchup
and a bit of spice.

Boiled prawns. A bit of lettuce.
How hard could that be?

Well, Silent Witness pathologist
Amanda Burton definitely didn't look

very comfortable with that prawn.

I'm trying to figure out what
to do with these prawns

because I'm not seeing an oil or
a butter or anything like that.

Right. And I can't think of what to
cook them in.

If you had all the stuff you
wanted here,

how would you have cooked them?
Oil and lemon.

What? Fried them, you mean? Mm.

Are there any other ways of
cooking them, other

than frying them? Barbecue them.
Come on. You're running out of time.

Standing on them. I don't know!
What have you got to cook them in?

OK. It can go in the oven.

No, it can't. No? Right. Oh.

Come on. Let's just... Let's get
a move on.

Try and think of a way,
and let's go. Erm...

I could boil them? Ah! Ah!

Eureka!

Right, come on, you're running out
of time, you. Quick, quick,

quick, quick, quick.

KETCHUP SQUIRTS
Oh, sorry.

A rather unpleasant noise.

Are you done?

I think I am, as best as I can.

Larger-than-life TV presenter
Alison Hammond wasn't much better.

No.

She was meant to boil the prawns but
ended up frying them

in Worcestershire sauce.

SHE GIGGLES

SHE LAUGHS

I want to cut it open to see if
it's cooked.

You see? They're not.

Not quite cooked through...
Oi, oi, oi.

Yeah, yeah.

And just when you thought it
couldn't get any worse,

EastEnders actor Emma Barton
walked in.

I would have liked a pan,
like, a frying pan.

Um... I wonder if I can cook them

with the oil... What oil?
In, uh, vinegar.

I mean, nobody thought of just
quickly boiling the prawns.

This is all wrong.

I don't know. I've never
cooked prawns.

I don't know if that's a good idea
to put hot

straight onto the cold, but...

Trust your instincts. Yeah.
just going to try and do it.

You've got two minutes.
Oh, my goodness.

Emma, what other ways are there
of cooking things in a saucepan?

Think potatoes. Mash?

Yeah, we wanted you to mash
the prawns. That's right.

What about boiling them?
Oh, my goodness!

What an idiot. What an idiot!

I just hope they're cooked.

That one doesn't look like it is.

Mine's raw.

I just feel such a wally.

"What other way, Emma, can you cook
in a saucepan?

"Think potatoes." I said, "Mash."

I thought it was a quiz.

It's the simplest of challenges

they always seem to slip up on.

I remember your now-wife
Lisa Faulkner coming on the show,

and we asked her to cook poached
eggs with hollandaise sauce,

with the likes of Match Of The Day
presenter Mark Chapman,

actor Mark Little and model
Danielle Lloyd.

The poached egg, bit of vinegar in
the water,

and then drop the egg in.

Don't stir the water round,

eventually it will float to the
top, bob around

and that is when it's ready.

Hollandaise should be silky smooth.

It should be sharp but buttery,

and always finished off with
lemon juice.

The last thing we want to do is see
scrambled eggs

with butter mixed through it.

You've had five minutes.

Eggs, john! Eggs. That always
gets them.

You've got one minute.

Time's up.

Some of them did all right,
like Neighbours legend Mark Little.

Hey. Ooh! Look at that.
Perfect texture.

Nice and runny in the middle.

Your hollandaise is vinegary sharp.

It's got the hint of lemon in it.
It's great.

But Lisa had a complete
and utter meltdown.

It was implosion.

Exhibit A, my friends.

Can I just say I've had a really
lovely time?

I had the biggest cooking disaster
I've ever had in my whole life,

and it happened to be on the telly.

It's not always how you start,
it's the journey you go on.

Many of our best cooks have had
nightmare beginnings,

but those who've got a bit of
passion, a bit of spark,

they learn along the way.

That's what the competition's
all about.

Our Celebrity MasterChef
champion is...

Lisa, of course, went on to
be the winner.

...Lisa.

Oh, my God!

The celebs' basic knowledge
and skill is put under

scrutiny from the get-go in
the MasterChef kitchen.

But if they thought that was tough,

nothing can prepare them for when
we take them out

into the real world.

In 2012, we sent our celebs to
a film set, not to star or direct,

but to cook for 120 cast and crew
of the much-loved crime drama

New Tricks, using just the basic
facilities of a catering truck.

This place is cramped.

There was writer Emma Kennedy,
presenter Michael Underwood,

and football star Danny Mills.

What could possibly go wrong?

Yeah, what could go wrong
in a catering truck?

Let's be fair about it.
Confined space,

equipment they've never seen before,

ingredients they don't necessarily
know about, and cooking

for lots of people on a film set.

The pressure was on.

Now, every brigade needs a leader.

And that day, comedian
Emma Kennedy decided

to take charge.

We've got stuff. Definitely,
we could make a ratatouille.

We've got
aubergine.

Can we have a pen and paper?

Given that time was against them,
they took ages

to decide on their menu.

Lunch is at one o'clock. Yeah,
I know. That leaves you two hours

and 45 minutes out of your three
hours, left. Yeah. You need to shift.

Yeah. OK.

Cod...
..in a creamy leek sauce.

Moroccan lamb, um, and couscous.

Can't let the ball drop today.

We've just got to concentrate
and be methodical.

And if we can do that and we don't
lose our heads, then we'll be fine.

In a field a mile away, the crew
were filming,

and with a tight schedule to
get through,

it was vital lunch was ready
on time.

We've had a couple of companies
that weren't quite up to it

and it was really quite disturbing.

Eventually, they got going...

Let's get everything prepped.

And then it's just a question
of cooking it.

...and to be fair to them, things
started coming together nicely.

Emma was chopping butternut squash
for a veggie curry,

Danny was filleting fish for
a cod and leek bake,

and Michael was trimming lamb
for a Moroccan stew.

When you've done one of the things
on the list, just cross

it off and then just pick something
else on the list to do.

She is in charge and we are
following her to the letter.

Yes, ma'am!

They've put me in charge.

These boys are setting me up
right and proper, aren't they?

Now, when you're cooking
for large numbers in a confined

space, you have to really be on
the ball, and everyone

has to multitask.

OK!

Can you be in charge of the cooking
on the stove area?

We're concentrating on getting
the puddings up and running now.

It's really, really difficult.

Catering on a film set

is really difficult, even for
the professionals.

Scenes can take longer or shorter
to shoot than planned.

And when they break for lunch,
they expect it to be ready.

Otherwise, the whole production
runs behind,

and that is very costly.

Brilliant. Brilliant.

Right, now thicken!

I think we're on schedule.
Lime, apples are done.

I'm just waiting for this custard
to thicken.

The crumble is done.

So, that will be one dish away.

There seems to be a sense of calm
in that kitchen.

But the simple fact is they've got
to get all the food up

on the pass, and those dishes to
serve properly,

make sure their plates are hot,
write their menu,

present everything well, and make
sure everything is cooked.

And we know anything can happen
in the last 30 minutes.

We've got everything, I hope,
under control,

so let's concentrate on making

things look lovely as well
as taste lovely. Yes? Yes.

Whoa!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Now, when we sent these tasks,
the celebs really are out

on their own.

So, when a disaster like the custard
happens, it's totally up to them

t0 fix it.

I need a mop.

We've got 15 minutes. We can get
more custard on, let's go.

It'll have to be custard powder.

Now, when the wheels start wobbling,
panic can quickly set in,

and accidents can happen.

Ow!

Everything's
boiling hot!

And it wasn't just custard they
needed to make more of.

There's not enough carrots there,
son. How many more

carrots have we got?
That is not 30

potions of carrots. We've got
loads! Show me the broccoli.

Come on. That's not 30
portions of veg.

What are you going to give them? One
piece of broccoli and two carrots?

It's not enough.
We defo need more veg!

If people arrive and they don't want
carrots...

...l shall be having words with
Mr Wallace, the greengrocer,

who has an unnatural obsession
with vegetables.

And there's the call of distress.
As lunchtime is called, the custard

hits the ground and things
are starting to crumble.

They're going to have to get
it together quick.

I've
thickened your custard, Emma! Yay!

Hello, mate, what would you like?
The fish?

There you go, sir.

Thank you. Cod, please. Ooh, blimey!

But despite all the drama in that
van, they turned out some

pretty great food.
Some of the key cast

were really impressed.

I thought the lamb was
really good.

Very interesting mix of spices.

Very subtle. Yeah,
and deliciously cooked.

Even the pear and apple crumble
with the hastily remade

custard went down OK.

It was delicious, absolutely
delicious.

That's great, that dessert, and
considering they were really up

against it after dropping
the custard,

that's some real achievement.

I'm absolutely cream-crackered now.

That was really full-on.

Honestly, when this is finished,

I think I'm going to sleep
for about three years.

Emma Kennedy was an absolute Trojan
that day, and of course, she went

on to win that year's competition.

It never ceases to amaze us how much
the celebrities give of themselves

once they get in to the final
stages of the competition.

It almost seems that the more
pressure you put them under,

the more they perform.

And this was never more true than in
our third series

when we got our finalists,
Atomic Kitten's Liz McClarnon,

actor Mark Moraghan, and TV
presenter Andi Peters up at

three in the morning.

We are really in the middle
of nowhere, though, look.

We've been driving along this bumpy
road for ages.

We dropped them off on the outskirts
of Sandhurst, at a purpose-built

Army training village.

EXPLOSIONS, GUNFI RE

Can I just say, we're
walking towards the noise?

I just wish it was light, so we
could actually see where we were.

GUNFIRE

We had tanks driving past,
helicopters overhead, smoke bombs

going off left and right.

It was absolute madness!

But our celebs weren't there to
play war games.

They were there to cook breakfast
for 120 cadets in just a basic

army field kitchen.

The cadets were coming to the end
of a ten-day training exercise.

They'd been sleeping rough
and surviving

on just basic ration packs.

I think the situation is going
to be hectic.

It's going to be crazy.
It's going to be really alien.

All I've got to think about is get
those breakfasts made.

EXPLOSIONS, GUNFI RE

For me, I'm right in my element now.
I want to make sure we cook them

a good breakfast. But, erm, oh,
yeah, bring it on.

I want to get in that kitchen
right now, and get stuck in.

It will be there, no danger.

We weren't asking for anything
fancy, just your

good, old, basic fry-up. Sausages,
bacon, scrambled eggs, fried bread,

and kedgeree, and eggs Benedict.

And Mark decided to appoint himself
as brigade leader.

I think you should be in charge
of kedgeree and eggs Benedict.

No.

No, we do it together,

but in terms of getting the recipe
together, it's your baby.

This was no easy task. They had only
90 minutes,

two ovens, and one hotplate

to cook over 100 portions of food.

And they were battling with
the basic equipment from the get-go.

Oh! Come on!

Don't force it, right? Watch this.

It is banging and crashing,
and it's only just started.

As long as they hold their nerve,
as long as they work as a team,

they'll be all right.

Mark had divided up the work.

He'd taken control of the scrambled
eggs, leaving Andi with

the kedgeree and the tricky
eggs Benedict,

while Liz had to fry off all
the bread, five kilos of bacon,

and 100 sausages!

I can see a tank from where I'm
standing, and a man poking out

the tank. Look, look, look!

Oh, my God! Life don't get
more surreal

than this. Unbelievable!

BANGING

AMERICAN ACCENT:

But within moments of starting, Liz
was struggling to control the heat

on the hotplates and oven...

You just keep cooking so fast!
I can't do this by myself.

...and team leader Mark wasn't
offering her much help.

No, sausages

really need looking after.

I'm cooking bacon in
the fryer!

The reason we do these tasks is that
we want to see how our celebs

perform under pressure...

I'm not coping at all.

...and that day with the breakfast
burning and 120 cadets

about to descend on them,

they were feeling it.

Can I just say I've got too much
over there with the bacon.

Mark, will you listen to me?

I've got too much over
there with these

sausages and the bacon, cos
the bacon needs watching.

I don't think I've ever been
so disorganised, ever, ever, ever.

Ever.

I think Mark's struggling
a little bit, to be honest.

He's very, very quiet. I thought he
would have been quite commanding.

At the moment, yes, I'm worried that
they're not going

to get this breakfast up at
ten o'clock.

I've got to get so much more done
cos I had so much to do

in the first place.

This is ridiculous, the amount of
work to do, for one person.

The hollandaise sauce is never going
to happen.

OK.

Would you not prefer
me just to improvise and change it?

OK.

OK.

I think we're slightly disorganised.

But I've been given a task, so I'm
going to do

my task and get on with it.

With the soldiers on the move,

the staff sergeant decided they were
running too far behind.

Let's get in there, right?

Let's get the beans on, let's get
the tomatoes on,

let's give them a hand now. Yeah.

Mark, he's going to come in
now and give you a hand, right?

He'll keep you right. Right. We need
you to motor now.

We need to start motoring,
people, now!

The situation now, they're going to
be pushing it to get this breakfast

out. I've got my lance corporal
in there now, helping them,

and it's a bit of organised chaos
at the moment.

Now, what often happens, is once
the ship has been steadied

and they stop panicking, the celebs
then find that they can achieve

quite a lot in just a short
period of time.

They are right up against it.

I hope they get it out because we
are going to have some

very, very hungry, young cadet
officers

in here in a minute, with guns.

I'm very hungry. Very hungry
indeed, yeah.

And with the Army in control, Andi
made a perfect hollandaise.

Yeah, I think that's perfect.

Nice job. Thank you.

In typical my style, I'm trying to
make it all look really nice.

They'll be like, "Oh..." Moan, moan.
"..he still thinks he's doing fine dining."

Which I do, you know, these guys
want to eat fine food.

Eggs Benedict coming through.
Well done, Andi.

That's a good
dish, well done.

Thank you!

Oh, geez. It was hard, though.

It's been so hard. So, so hard.

Basic cooking facilities and basic
menu, but still an epic struggle

to get that breakfast out
for the cadets.

Yes, please.

They really did learn that day that
an army marches

on its stomach.

There we go.

Oh, the eggs Benedict, served by
Andi Peters -

lovely. Very nice.

This is like heaven warmed up
and put on a plate.

Mmm!

Are you looking forward to that?

Just a little bit.

I just, honestly, truly did not
believe it would be this exhausting.

How does it feel to actually
get a nice warm meal

in between your hands?

OK. Thanks very much.

The other guys just had to cook,
I had to follow two recipes.

And making hollandaise sauce
in your own kitchen

is hell. Making it here is worse,

but I did it.

Well, john, there we have it.

Some blasts. Literally, blasts
from the past.

Whoever said MasterChef is all
about fancy food?

It's been one hell of a ride,
and it just goes to show

that without a good grasp of
the basics, you're never

going to succeed.

Next time...

...it's out of the frying pan...

...and into the fire.

I never even sunbathe, so this is
too hot for me!

We look back at some of our
favourite moments...

Oh, oh!

...of our celebs in
a professional kitchen.

Look at that, look at
this! Look!