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1
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:07,540
We'll find somewhere.
2
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,380
Here?
3
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:14,740
There.
4
00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:28,020
You say goodbye to Goldie.
I'll start preparing the grave.
5
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,620
What do you want to say?
6
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,860
I'm sorry, Goldie, I put you in
the bath with all the bubbles.
7
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:48,100
Get the children away.
8
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:50,140
Get the children away!
9
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,860
Come in.
10
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,580
So, what can I help you with today?
11
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:12,020
Doctor, you know it's, er,
rather embarrassing.
12
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,700
- You can share whatever you like.
- Well, you know...
13
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:19,420
Doctor, it's erm... It's during,
you know like, er, like sex.
14
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:22,895
I just, er, I find I just...
I just can't orgasm...
15
00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,720
No matter who the man is
or no matter how big he is...
16
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,160
I see.
17
00:01:44,773 --> 00:01:47,160
- Vin, I need to talk to you.
- Can it wait, mate?
18
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,312
I've turned up at JJ's
with some nicked wheels.
19
00:01:49,337 --> 00:01:51,575
Yeah, but it's quite important.
20
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,400
Yeah, all right, listen, let me...
Let me see you at the party.
21
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,920
- I'll chat to you then.
- Yeah, all right, bye. Bye.
22
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,560
40.
23
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,320
What's going on here?
You all right, JJ? Yeah.
24
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,160
Blood's just rushing a bit now.
25
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,920
Er...
26
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,760
This is my cousin Sarim.
27
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,400
You all right, Sarim?
28
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,080
- Yeah, all right.
- Who are you?
29
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,800
I'm Vinnie, I'm JJ's mate.
30
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,440
50.
31
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,480
Going a bit thin on top there,
Vinnie.
32
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,240
- Yeah, sign of virility, apparently.
- That's bollocks, that is.
33
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,015
- Got to be a minute, now.
- Look at Samson, in your Bible,
34
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,400
cut all his hair off,
lost his strength.
35
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,520
Yeah, I know but, I don't take the
Bible literally though, you know,
36
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,280
- what with Noah and all them animals.
- It's gotta be a minute.
37
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,920
What you saying? You don't believe
in your own holy book?
38
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,880
I think it's all a bit far-fetched
for me, you know what I mean?
39
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,560
Mind you, fucking all are,
aren't they? Quran, Torah...
40
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,720
What!
41
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,640
Shit! You slagging our book?
42
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,975
No, man, I'm...
JJ, are you all right, love?
43
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:46,919
What you saying, huh?
44
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,920
I'm just saying some of the stories
are just a bit far-fetched.
45
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,800
- This a fucking friend of yours?
- Sarim.
46
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,120
Don't Sarim me, you come here
with your fucking slaphead
47
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,920
- and you starts slagging our book.
- I'm not slagging your book off.
48
00:02:56,945 --> 00:02:58,640
- Sarim.
- Don't Sarim me.
49
00:02:58,640 --> 00:02:59,799
Dude, calm down.
50
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,200
- Stop dude-ing me, you fucking twat.
- OK.
51
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,000
All right?
You fucking bald prick.
52
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:07,440
Car, tomorrow.Yeah.
53
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,760
And I told you I could hold you up
for a minute.
54
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,600
- Yes, you did.
- Yeah.
55
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:15,440
What an incredible bell-end.
56
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,920
Fucking handsome though,
ain't he, eh?
57
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,760
This is how he's treated me,
my whole fucking life.
58
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,000
He goes, "I can hold you
upside-down for a minute,"
59
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,640
then he bloody goes and does it.
60
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,960
Now I've got to fix his fucking
white car
61
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,640
for his stupid flash wedding.
62
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,960
- Wedding? Someone's marrying him?
- Yeah.
63
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,600
Danika.
64
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,840
She's just as bad as he is.
65
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,600
They used to take the piss out of
me, because I was fat.
66
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:42,640
Fatty.No.You fat fucker!
67
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,120
- Come here. Don't get worked up.
- No, no, no, come on.
68
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,160
Don't let him do that.
It's all right.
69
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,160
It's all right, man.
70
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,160
You know what?
71
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,680
All I ever wanted was
revenge on him.
72
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,880
Now I've gotta buy them a
fucking gift for the their wedding.
73
00:03:55,905 --> 00:03:56,894
He's just a bully.
74
00:03:56,918 --> 00:03:58,918
He's just a bully.
75
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,120
Let's go and have a brew. Come on.
76
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,520
♪ And you put your left leg in
77
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,560
♪ Your left leg out
78
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,320
♪ In, out, in, out,
you shake it all about
79
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,640
♪ You do the hokey cokey
and you turn around
80
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,680
- ♪ That's what it's all about...
- Hey!
81
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:23,200
He's bloody useless, isn't he?
How did we persuade him to do this?
82
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,280
It's what he does now.
He's packed the circus in.
83
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,760
Apparently set up on his own.
84
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:28,784
He's calling himself
Maurice Bojangles.
85
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,800
♪ Hey,
the hokey... cokey ♪
86
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:32,680
Has he been drinking?
87
00:04:32,704 --> 00:04:35,200
He's sweating like
a necrophiliac at a funeral.
88
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,880
- Oi, dude, can... Can we talk?
- Let me roll this spliff.
89
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,920
I'll come and have a chat with you.
90
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:41,720
- More beer, lads?
- No.No.
91
00:04:41,744 --> 00:04:43,119
You're all right thanks, love.
92
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,720
So, go on, then,
what have you got Tyler?
93
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,360
Oh, er...
94
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,095
Just... Just my rabbit.
95
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,320
- What? Is there a rabbit in there?
- Yeah. It can breathe.
96
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,800
- In here?
- Oh, my God.
97
00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:00,240
- Don't tilt it.
- What? Aren't you not gonna miss it?
98
00:05:04,562 --> 00:05:06,882
No, no, we don't get on.
99
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,760
- Go on, just...
- Now, so we've got it, yeah?
100
00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:09,367
Yeah.
101
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,272
- All right, thanks, Vin.
- All right.
102
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,880
Get off!
103
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,000
Hey! Get off!
Give me my nose back and sit down.
104
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,600
So how's things going on
with you and Erin?
105
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:21,759
Er, yeah.
106
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,040
Yeah, we're taking it slow. You
know, we don't wanna confuse Tyler.
107
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,760
Yeah. What about Sara?
108
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:31,520
Er, yeah. No, I had a chat
with her yesterday.
109
00:05:31,771 --> 00:05:33,040
It was fine...
110
00:05:33,064 --> 00:05:35,920
- Fine?
- Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know...
111
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,000
She's a great girl and I feel
fucking terrible.
112
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,480
- Vin?
- Sorry, lad. Yeah, come on.
113
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,280
Let's go and have a chat.
114
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:45,680
Right, what's in the magic hat?
Let's have a look.
115
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,720
Ooh, that's not supposed to happen.
116
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,560
Ooh, what's this?
117
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,940
Look at this! You're just pulling
it out of your sleeve!
118
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,920
Sh! I'm not pulling it
out my sleeve.
119
00:05:53,944 --> 00:05:55,391
Look, there's nothing
up me sleeve.
120
00:05:55,392 --> 00:05:56,520
The other sleeve.
121
00:05:56,544 --> 00:05:58,933
No. No. There's nothing
in my other sleeve.
122
00:05:58,988 --> 00:06:02,240
You shush.
Oh, look, it's Ricky the Raccoon.
123
00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:04,320
Do you want to stroke him?
124
00:06:04,344 --> 00:06:05,679
- Boring!
- No, it's not boring.
125
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,360
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
126
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:13,440
...er, about her... and, er,
the-the way she is with me.
127
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,680
And, erm, you know, I know
128
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:21,120
sh-sh-sh-she made that porno,
129
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,280
but it was a long time ago.
130
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,760
We've all done
stupid stuff in t'past.
131
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,320
- Do you remember that wanking contest?
- I do, yeah. Not fondly.
132
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:35,840
Yeah, but you know, no matter
how-how much I watch it...
133
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,640
...it doesn't change anything,
be-because
134
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:45,840
I've never felt this way before
about-about anyone.
135
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:51,080
And I'm s-scared because, you know,
136
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,680
I know I can be useless
137
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,720
and I'm a bit fat and you know,
I let people down...
138
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,360
but I, I really
fucking love her man.
139
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:02,597
And I need her,
140
00:07:02,645 --> 00:07:04,120
you know to be with me,
141
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:11,000
and-and I just always want her
to be in my life.
142
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:11,920
So...
143
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,060
I, erm...
144
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,400
I got this.
145
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,040
No way.
146
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,280
- Are you gonna ask her?
- Yeah, well...
147
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,680
- What do you think?
- Yeah, fucking definitely.
148
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,360
Definitely do that.
149
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,080
- W-Will she say yes?
- Course she's gonna fucking say yes.
150
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,760
Course she's gonna say yeah.
Listen to me.
151
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,655
I'm really proud of you, all right.
152
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,880
That's a fucking big decision.
153
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,920
- If she says yes...
- Hm?
154
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,575
...will you help me sort out
a wedding?
155
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,600
It don't have to be much, it's just
like a fucking vicar and takeaway.
156
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,200
If my mate Cardi
wants to get married,
157
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,040
and have a fucking party,
158
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,320
it's gonna be the biggest one
I can possibly think of.
159
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,560
I promise you, I love you so much,
man. All right?
160
00:08:05,897 --> 00:08:07,897
All right, well,
go and ask her, then.
161
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,280
- What?
- Now?
162
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:13,919
- Well, why not?
- No.
163
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,240
- No.
- What the fuck? You've got the ring!
164
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,600
- No, but I...
- Go and do it.
165
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,160
Don't think about shit,
just get it done.
166
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,680
That's what I'd do.
167
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,320
Just go and get it done.
168
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,520
Go on.
169
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:28,920
Sod off.
170
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,000
- All right.
- Good lad.
171
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:35,160
- Give us another one there, Maurice.
- Don't. Don't egg him on.
172
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,000
- Don't egg him on.
- There's nothing in the magic hat.
173
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,720
Give it here! Come on.
174
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,800
Give it here, Specky. Kids! Give it
here, lad. I'm doing the cake.
175
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,440
Give me my fucking hat back,
176
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,080
you shower of shit
bunch of little cunts!
177
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,600
Right, come on. Stop pushing me.
178
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,520
- Get off!
- Stupid fat man!
179
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,760
Leave me alone. I don't like it.
180
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,920
Oh, for God's sake.
181
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,600
Sorry, kids, move out of the way.
Right, get up.
182
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,320
Dylan!
183
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,400
Here. Oh, my God. Now get him out.
184
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,800
- Get him out.
- Someone spiked me.
185
00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,440
- He's all right.
- Someone spiked me.
186
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,880
- You absolutely stink.
- I've broke me nose.
187
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,600
Check that out.
188
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:15,560
- Is he proposing?
- Mmm.
189
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:18,240
Oh, shit man, that is massive.
190
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,480
How do you fancy giving them two
love birds the best present ever?
191
00:09:29,706 --> 00:09:31,706
Your cousin's wedding.
192
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,600
OK, listen up,
cos there's a lot to take in.
193
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,200
This is my bell-end
of a cousin Sarim,
194
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,640
and this is the dickhead he's
marrying - Danika.
195
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,600
She's a Hindu girl. Her family want
a traditional wedding,
196
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,800
which means it is gonna be massive.
197
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,520
- Guys, we are talking flashy as fuck!
- It looks amazing.
198
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,560
Hey, why don't you join in?
Double wedding.
199
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,319
Piss off.
200
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,920
No, you do right, mate, it's a
prison. Ring on your finger
201
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,200
and before you know it you're
shuffling round Ikea
202
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,480
asking for permission to see your
own mates.
203
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,200
No flirting, no spontaneous sex,
204
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,320
not a fucking rat in hell's
chance of any anal.
205
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:10,480
All in the misguided pursuit of
companionship.
206
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,640
- Stag do'll be fun though.
- Great.
207
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,280
Right, anyway.
208
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,040
These guys are gonna have
everything we need OK,
209
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,520
beautiful drapes, wedding dressing,
cutlery...
210
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,480
You name it, this whole room is
gonna be
211
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,160
all the colours of the bloody
rainbows, guys.Excellent.
212
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,600
The gifts, yeah,
we're talking gold,
213
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,960
we're talking frankincense, even
bloody myrrh's gonna be turning up.
214
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,320
Sounds amazing.
I feel bad for stealing it.
215
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,040
Yeah, well, don't, because this
guy... dickhead.
216
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,200
- Won't there be 200 people there?
- Exactly.
217
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,240
Which is why we need the knowledge
of our inside man. Go on, JJ.
218
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,480
To my mind, there's only one
perfect time to do the hit,
219
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,120
- and that is the Baraat.
- The what?
220
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,240
The Baraat. It is the groom's
wedding procession in to the venue.
221
00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:51,872
It's about half an hour long,
222
00:10:51,904 --> 00:10:54,535
sometimes they come in a
flashy motor or a white horse.
223
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,440
Knowing this dickhead, it's gonna be
a white horse. Procession starts.
224
00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:01,215
It's gonna weave its way down these
country roads, to the wedding venue.
225
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,160
The room's gonna be set up, and the
wedding breakfast prepared.
226
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,880
- So how do we get it out?
- Yeah, all right so,
227
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,000
There's a shit load of
moving parts here.
228
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,960
We need to create a distraction.
That draws everybody out
229
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,520
- and it allows us to enter there, look.
- 15 minutes to smash and grab.
230
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,480
It's a big fucking job, guys,
we all need to be on our A-game.
231
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,320
That's right, cos this isn't just
for money, it's for love, all right?
232
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,160
It's for Carol and Cardi.
233
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,440
Hey, to Carol and Cardi, eh.
234
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,880
Carol and Cardi.
235
00:11:31,916 --> 00:11:35,095
Shit. Hello.
236
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,840
Get yourself over to the office now
237
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,120
and don't tell anyone
you're coming.
238
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,560
That's not good.
239
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,280
They've found his body.
240
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,000
Tony Tillerton.
241
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,680
Just his body.
242
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,600
No head.
243
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,200
Right. You've fucked me, Vin.
244
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,920
You've bent me over
and fucked me up the arse
245
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,000
- with a massive yellow dildo.
- No. No, let me expl...
246
00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:23,239
Shut the fuck up!
247
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,840
They've linked him to me.
248
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,680
I got arrested in my own home,
249
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,080
in front of my fucking daughters.
250
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,680
And the only reason why you're not
lying in a ditch right now
251
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:36,560
is that I can't risk another dead
body coming back to me.
252
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,600
- I'm sorry.
- Fuck your sorry.
253
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,240
What happened?
254
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,080
We went to his house.
255
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,520
And-And-And he made fucking scones.
256
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,160
Straight from the oven.
257
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,360
And JJ shot his fucking Peacock.
258
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,200
This is Struen.
259
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,400
So we-we, we get in the van...
260
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,520
These fucking guys come out of
nowhere...
261
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,240
So-So-So we followed 'em
262
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,800
and they started fucking shooting at
us, like, actually shooting.
263
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,640
- Fuck you!
- Shit!
264
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,280
Got Tony out the fucking window
shooting his gun off,
265
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,920
next thing you know,
his fucking head.
266
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,240
I-I-I mean, I mean,
it was really shocking
267
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,855
and I know, I know
we should've told you the truth.
268
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,040
But you-you said
to bring him back safe,
269
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,760
and there's
his fucking head on the ground.
270
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,560
- How'd you lose the body?
- They-They-They'd stole it.
271
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,880
They just fucked off wi' it.
272
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:32,400
So I got a mate of ours to sew
that head on to another body.
273
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:38,600
I-I know, I know it sounds,
it sounds fucked,
274
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,760
but he's a undertaker,
it's not as weird as it...
275
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:45,360
I lied to you, man...
276
00:13:46,522 --> 00:13:48,480
...Mister McCann, and I'm sorry.
277
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,160
How fucked are we?
278
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,800
They found his body in the woods,
some family burying a goldfish.
279
00:13:58,897 --> 00:14:02,020
Police told the wife they thought
it was a professional hit.
280
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,480
They seized his computer.
281
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,200
And all the work he did for me was
encrypted,
282
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,220
but the bastard was smart.
283
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:15,240
He'd left a special file, which
he'd hidden inside his own system.
284
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,840
Since 2012, I have worked for
a businessman, Mr Terence McCann.
285
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,800
However, during this time,
I became aware that
286
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,480
Mr McCann is a violent, unhinged,
psychotic monster.
287
00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:32,979
That's not true.
288
00:14:35,510 --> 00:14:38,840
And when I tried to extract myself
from his services,
289
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:43,280
I became fearful for myself and for
my family.
290
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:45,640
Where's the head?
291
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,320
It's gone, I cremated it.
292
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,280
You'll have to destroy the van.
There'll be traces.
293
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,460
Done.
294
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,900
They've got nothing, on me, Vin.
That file won't convict me.
295
00:14:56,100 --> 00:15:00,820
So the only thing linking me to
that headless fucking corpse
296
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:01,820
is you
297
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,460
and your idiot friends.
298
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,220
Can you trust them?
299
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:10,490
Can you fucking trust them?
300
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:12,100
Yeah, yeah.
301
00:15:13,631 --> 00:15:15,351
I hope so.
302
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:25,814
Fuck off.
303
00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,860
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
304
00:16:17,085 --> 00:16:19,085
All right, I'll wear this,
but that's it.
305
00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:20,880
If anyone's got a
chocolate cock, penis slippers
306
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,064
or a duck with a dick, take them home.
307
00:16:23,089 --> 00:16:26,655
You lot go your way, we'll go ours,
meet back here at eight, yeah.
308
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,280
- Aaaaah!
- Don't get too pissed.
309
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,040
All right, so no intentional aiming
at the dick.
310
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,240
If it's accidental, we'll let it go.
311
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,520
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
312
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:43,660
Go!
313
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,760
Go on!
314
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,920
♪ Get your rocks off,
get your rocks off, honey
315
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,960
♪ Shake 'em, now-now...
316
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000
Where's my stripper?
317
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,520
No can do sunshine, #MeToo.
318
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,000
No hashtag. You run a s-strip club.
319
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:44,040
I run a classy adult entertainment
venue, Mate.
320
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,120
I draw the line at some ropey bird
with squirty cream on her tits.
321
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:51,080
Hey, so I've got the vans sorted.
I bought the coloured smoke.
322
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:55,000
Tommo's obviously good
for cop uniforms, so we're golden.
323
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,760
Good. Listen, come here.
324
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,880
Don't tell the others.
325
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,680
Do you remember that geezer
who got his head taken off?
326
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:03,840
What geezer?
327
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,000
For fuck... How the fuck
do you not remember that?
328
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:08,760
Hilarious.
329
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,240
Really funny.
330
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,360
Listen. Cops are all over it, right.
331
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,040
And we can't afford any link with us
and that fucking body,
332
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,840
so we're gonna have to
crush the rascal, you know.
333
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,800
Shit.
334
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,120
I know, man.
I fucking love that van too.
335
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,240
Fuck the bloody van, the cops,
the body...
336
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,120
I wasn't supposed to be
on that fucking trip,
337
00:19:25,144 --> 00:19:26,519
and you dragged me into it.
338
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,480
Just don't,
don't start that shit again.
339
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,480
I don't wanna go to prison, Vin,
all right?
340
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,600
Maybe we shouldn't steal this
wedding, yeah.
341
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,920
Maybe this is just a sign for us
to just keep our heads down.
342
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,360
Shit. Fucking shit.
No. No. No.
343
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,280
- Hey, what you doing here?
- Come to see Dylan.
344
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,920
No. No. Come on. Don't.
Don't do this to yourself.
345
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,440
- Vinnie, I...
- No, no, just listen.
346
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:46,599
You're gonna get upset.
347
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,760
- Just come and have a chat, with me.
- I don't wanna chat.
348
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,280
But I've, I've got,
I've got a spliff.
349
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,960
- Go and have a smoke and a chat.
- Quick chat.
350
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,760
You see, what you've got to
understand is
351
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,440
Dyl and Erin,
they've been together for ever.
352
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,080
I mean, we always thought they
would be,
353
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,520
but then the universe
just went... apeshit.
354
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,520
I mean, split 'em apart, you know.
When you look at it like that,
355
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,480
you and Dyl should never
really have even met.
356
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,560
You shouldn't have done.
I mean, fucking plumbing.
357
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,920
His heart's not in plumbing,
he only did that to impress Erin.
358
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,960
- Do you know what I mean?
- Right. Yeah.
359
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,200
Yeah, I mean,
I hear what you're saying.
360
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,400
There's just one slight problem
with your theory.
361
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,079
Hmm?
362
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,760
- It's horse shit.
- Is it?
363
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,520
Well, go on.
364
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,240
Think about it.
365
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,520
All those years they were together
and he never properly moved in.
366
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,560
He never made any commitment
that he couldn't back out of.
367
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:42,640
I mean, if you love someone
you wanna commit.
368
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,840
You want them in your life
369
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,280
and the thought of them not being,
that fills you with, with panic...
370
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,040
- Hmm.
- Huh?
371
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,080
Hmm.
372
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,960
Very wise.
373
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,960
I am.
374
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,820
You're young.
375
00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:05,140
Do you know what I mean?
376
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:09,260
I mean, fucking hell. You've got
your whole life ahead of you.
377
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,700
Why the fuck do you want to get
serious with Dyl?
378
00:21:14,103 --> 00:21:15,560
Cos I love him.
379
00:21:17,287 --> 00:21:18,967
I don't think you do.
380
00:21:19,761 --> 00:21:21,561
I do, Vinnie.
381
00:21:21,752 --> 00:21:23,240
I love him.
382
00:21:23,608 --> 00:21:24,620
Right?
383
00:21:25,260 --> 00:21:27,060
Right. I'm sorry.
384
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:29,942
- I'm sorry.
- I don't want your hugs, Vinnie.
385
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:34,120
I just wanna know how,
how he could do this to me?
386
00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:36,300
Is it cos of my dad?
387
00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:38,980
Your dad?
388
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,080
Yeah, my dad.
He's a copper.
389
00:21:43,661 --> 00:21:45,901
Has he not... told you that?
390
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,080
No.
391
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,160
He's a copper and you're all...
392
00:21:53,343 --> 00:21:55,606
- ...whatever you are...
- We're not anything.
393
00:21:57,443 --> 00:21:58,580
Right.
394
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:00,900
OK.
395
00:22:04,380 --> 00:22:06,580
- He has told me things, you know.
- Mm-hm.
396
00:22:08,635 --> 00:22:10,080
Like what?
397
00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:12,380
Like loads.
398
00:22:13,620 --> 00:22:17,160
The weed shed.
The circus.
399
00:22:20,162 --> 00:22:21,962
Anything else?
400
00:22:23,612 --> 00:22:25,252
Plenty.
401
00:22:25,460 --> 00:22:27,660
I'm not pissing around,
what's he told you?
402
00:22:28,740 --> 00:22:30,040
I don't know, Vin.
403
00:22:31,919 --> 00:22:33,467
Listen to me.
404
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,700
You have no idea
what you're dealing with here.
405
00:22:36,740 --> 00:22:38,380
Tell me what he's told you, Sara.
406
00:22:41,500 --> 00:22:42,700
Nothing.
407
00:22:43,220 --> 00:22:44,460
All right?
408
00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,660
Jesus.
409
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:50,860
Don't lose your head.
410
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,300
Fuck!
411
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:05,380
I'm gonna get you up now.
412
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:07,540
It's a special day today, Carol,
am I right?
413
00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:11,220
Carol! Carol!
414
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:13,340
Carol, we are gonna
rock your world, baby.
415
00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:15,380
Come on, boys.
416
00:23:22,220 --> 00:23:24,680
- Hey! Hey!
- What the fuck have you told Sara?
417
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,575
What?
418
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,520
You heard what I fucking...
So what've you told her?
419
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,560
When you've had a drink, you're a
fucking blabbermouth.
420
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,640
- What have you said?
- Noth... Fucking nothing.
421
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,560
I swear to God, I'll put you
through the fucking wall, Dylan.
422
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,720
- Fucking stop that, all right!
- I tell you what,
423
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,360
I'll rephrase it for you.
Have you told her about Tillerton?
424
00:23:40,384 --> 00:23:41,051
Who?
425
00:23:41,076 --> 00:23:42,707
Have you told her
about fucking Tillerton?
426
00:23:42,707 --> 00:23:44,639
The guy who got his head taken off?
427
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,240
- No.
- Oi.
428
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:50,180
Look me in the eye and tell me
you haven't told her.
429
00:23:50,205 --> 00:23:52,420
Tell me you haven't
said anything, Dyl.
430
00:23:53,055 --> 00:23:55,120
- I-I-I can't remember.
- You fucking idiot!
431
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,240
Dude, it's not...
You don't have to worry.
432
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,360
Her fucking dad's a copper, Dyl!
433
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,600
You know she's fucking heartbroken.
Pissed off.
434
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,200
And, right now,
if she can get one over on you,
435
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,440
that's exactly what she's gonna do!
436
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,960
You know, all the fuck...
It's all linked.
437
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,200
The fucking cops know McCann's
a part of that fucking murder.
438
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,320
We can't have it coming
back on us, Dylan.
439
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,640
Oh, fuck, fuck.
Christ. Shit. Oh, fuck. My heart.
440
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,320
Fuck your heat, you knobhead.
441
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,160
- Er, what are we gonna do?
- I don't fucking know.
442
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,280
I'll tell you what you're gonna
fucking do.
443
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:30,440
You're gonna go out there, find her
and you're gonna make it right.
444
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,280
- How?
- I don't fucking know, Dylan,
445
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,520
but if you don't make it right and
she fucking blabs, we're fucked!
446
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,000
- All going to jail!
- No, I, er...
447
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,640
- No, I can't, I can't do that.
- What?
448
00:24:40,664 --> 00:24:42,079
I'm fucking back with Erin.
449
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,992
- What am I supposed to say to her?
- I don't give a fuck, Dylan.
450
00:24:45,017 --> 00:24:46,440
I don't give a fuck!
451
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,960
It's your mess,
go and fucking clean it.
452
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,720
I swear to God, you fucking go now,
else I'll fucking bury you.
453
00:24:52,744 --> 00:24:54,360
- Right.
- Jesus...
454
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:56,960
Dickhead!
455
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,600
Everything all right?
456
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,640
- Hey.
- Hey.
457
00:26:08,695 --> 00:26:10,006
Dylan?
458
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,200
Fat fuck.
459
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,880
Are you all right, Sarim?
460
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,720
Er, are you nervous?
461
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,455
Nervous?
Nerves are for wimps.
462
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,240
I've got a beautiful woman, JJ.
463
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:56,560
She can cook, she can suck,
464
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,400
- goes like a train, thanks for asking.
- I didn't ask, actually.
465
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,040
I don't want you using that image
for when you're alone.
466
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,160
Keep her out of here, JJ.
467
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:06,000
She's family from today, man.
468
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,040
She's not really
my type actually, Sarim.
469
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:09,440
- What you saying?
- Nothing.
470
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,120
- She's lovely, right...
- You saying she's a munter?
471
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:14,200
- What? I didn't say that!
- Where the fuck's your bird, JJ?
472
00:27:14,224 --> 00:27:16,527
Oh, yeah, you've not got one,
473
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,000
because you're a used to be
fat fucking freak
474
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,120
who gets his hots
from hooking fish.
475
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,320
Anyway, you have a nice day.
476
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,560
I think we're about to start
in a second.
477
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,560
- What a dick.
- Yeah, I know.
478
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,400
And he's always coming
at me, you know,
479
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,560
- and none of you lot say anything.
- OK, let's go and get married.
480
00:27:46,059 --> 00:27:48,120
Right, get in positions.
481
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,600
The baraat's getting started.
482
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,163
Jacklapatty right back at you, dude.
483
00:27:53,163 --> 00:27:54,680
I'm assuming that's
good luck, mind you,
484
00:27:54,704 --> 00:27:57,120
he could be telling me to fuck myself.
Right, we're on.
485
00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:00,440
- You ready, yeah?
- Ready like Eddie.
486
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,080
- Who's Eddie?
- Bloke I used to know.
487
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:05,120
Very attractive wife.
488
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:06,760
Surprisingly supple.
489
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,280
- Still no word from Dyl?
- No. No word.
490
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,080
You ready, Jimbo?
491
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,760
Oh, I was born ready.
492
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,200
- I tell you what, Vin.
- What?
493
00:28:42,225 --> 00:28:46,200
If this all goes tits up, I'm
telling 'em that you coerced me.
494
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:46,720
Yeah?
495
00:28:46,744 --> 00:28:49,360
I'm gonna land all
the shit at your door...
496
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,640
- All right...
- and plead early dementia.
497
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,720
That'd be an easy sell, wouldn't it?
You silly old cunt.
498
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,800
Well, fuck off.
Are you two sorted and all?
499
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:57,892
- Grand, yeah.
- Sick.
500
00:28:57,892 --> 00:29:00,239
Right, do you wanna be
good cop or bad cop?
501
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,040
I want to be "Let's get this done
quick and not fuck it up" cop.
502
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,080
What am I supposed to do with that?
503
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:08,440
Tuck it in.
504
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,200
So I'll be in a nursing home
getting pampered,
505
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,320
while you'll be in Broadmoor
getting bummed.
506
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,120
Will you just fuck off?
507
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,200
Christ!
508
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,640
Sorry I'm late.
509
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,400
- Where have you been?
- Oh, I just got wasted. Had to go home.
510
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,560
- Got hammered, didn't you?
- I puked and then passed out.
511
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,720
- Go and get your high-vis out, right.
- Sorry.
512
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,200
- Dyl?
- Yeah.
513
00:29:28,788 --> 00:29:30,588
Is it sorted?
514
00:29:30,740 --> 00:29:32,340
Sorted.
515
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,760
- Hi there. Where's your boss?
- In the back.
516
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,480
That's not clean.
517
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,000
Thank you.
518
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,480
Gentlemen, riddle me this.
519
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,600
Who's in charge here?
520
00:30:11,092 --> 00:30:12,732
Paulo. He's in the bathroom.
521
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,960
Well, how long will he be?
522
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,640
Not sure.
523
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:21,600
Has he been long already?
Will he be opening his bowel?
524
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,480
I'm not sure.
I don't really know, I just...
525
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,560
Well, listen up. There's been a
very serious threat on the hotel.
526
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,280
We need you and you to
file out into the car park.
527
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,880
Right out on to the restaurant
there, please. There you goes.
528
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,960
- Get you!
- Go.
529
00:30:36,315 --> 00:30:38,115
Paulo!
530
00:30:40,564 --> 00:30:42,284
I bet it's a shit.
531
00:31:03,843 --> 00:31:06,080
Jim, it's show time.
532
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,720
Fucking right.
533
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:11,117
Attaboy. Come on.
Come to Daddy.
534
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:13,880
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
535
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,600
- Aw! God!
- Oh, my God!
536
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,840
Oi. Stop being in awe. Come on,
we've got to steal some shit.
537
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,840
- Pretty sure this is it.
- Pretty sure?
538
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,560
Yeah, like, 40 percent.
539
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,320
40 percent's good.
540
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,628
Fucking hell.
541
00:31:35,653 --> 00:31:37,560
- I'm jealous.
- Me too.
542
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,560
Right, that's it, if I ever get
married, I'm marrying an Indian.
543
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,720
Thank you.
Form a nice straight line here
544
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,960
and stay well away
from the building, please.
545
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,664
- What the fuck?
- Shit!
546
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,720
- What?
- I know him.
547
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,640
- What?
- I've spanked him.
548
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:10,640
Take over.
549
00:32:10,664 --> 00:32:12,664
Excuse me, sir, are you
the manager here?
550
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,160
Yes, and I have a wedding
to prepare.
551
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,200
Why are my staff
not in the fucking kitchen?
552
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:20,640
There's been a bomb threat, OK,
553
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,314
- so we've had to excavate the building.
- A bomb threat?
554
00:32:23,338 --> 00:32:23,920
Yeah.
555
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,960
- On a remote manor house?
- That's what we were told, yeah.
556
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,160
- No.
- So were taking it very serious.
557
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,400
This is bullshit. OK.
558
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,200
Look - Mumbai ragda patties.
559
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,600
Dahi Puri.
560
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,320
Bomb? No.
561
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,720
- Right.
- I don't see one.
562
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:38,440
- I understand.
- Oh, is that it?
563
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,320
No, it's Khakhra roll.
564
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,760
Ah! Bomb?
565
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,240
No, it's Masala Vada. Or this?
566
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,240
- I understand.
- Bomb? No. Cocktail fucking Kachori.
567
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,200
Sir, I understand,
but we have to take this seriously,
568
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,200
so could you please
es-cavate the building.
569
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,760
What the hell is he doing?
570
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,120
He's patrolling for bombs.
571
00:32:59,043 --> 00:33:01,123
- Excuse me. Sir.
- Hey, you!
572
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,360
You! I want to talk to you.
573
00:33:05,714 --> 00:33:06,880
Who, me?
574
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,320
- Tommo?
- Er, Paulo.
575
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,920
Good to see you, mate.
576
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,365
- What a lovely surprise.
- What the fuck?
577
00:33:14,390 --> 00:33:17,120
Yes, er, I'm a policeman now.
578
00:33:17,984 --> 00:33:19,440
Since when?
579
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:23,840
Well, recently.
I was training up in Hendon.
580
00:33:23,865 --> 00:33:26,960
I heard you were running
The Rat And Cutter.
581
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,760
It's, er...
That's rumours, mate.
582
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,141
It's quite serious this,
the bomb threat.
583
00:33:31,141 --> 00:33:35,240
Yeah, yeah, actually, they used
a code word and everything, so...
584
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:40,520
And they didn't bring the bomb
squad? Just you two.
585
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,960
Cutbacks, innit, you know.
It's... It's criminal, really.
586
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,120
Ironically.
587
00:33:46,243 --> 00:33:48,323
No, it's serious though isn't it?
588
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:54,600
- I'm calling the police.
- Paolo... no, no, we are the police.
589
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:57,360
- You don't have to call them.
- Bullshit, Tommo, OK.
590
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,600
You made a lemon sorbet
from my cum.
591
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,160
You're not a policeman now.
592
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,200
Paulo, the sorbet days
are behind me.
593
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,320
And-And you're too fucking small.
594
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:10,040
Hello. Police.
595
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,160
There's imposters at
the Thornfield Manor.
596
00:34:28,116 --> 00:34:29,916
What the fuck?
597
00:34:36,827 --> 00:34:39,827
No. No. No. No. You go.
You just go. You go.
598
00:34:39,867 --> 00:34:41,547
Erin.
599
00:34:41,587 --> 00:34:43,587
Go, go, go. You go. Go!
600
00:34:43,627 --> 00:34:46,947
Now. Now. Just settle down. Just...
601
00:34:56,907 --> 00:34:59,707
Fuck.
602
00:35:03,667 --> 00:35:05,907
Vin - Vin.
603
00:35:05,947 --> 00:35:08,747
We have to go. We have to go.
The cops are coming.
604
00:35:08,787 --> 00:35:09,840
- Fuck.
- Why?
605
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:11,666
The head chef,
he recognised Tommo.
606
00:35:11,667 --> 00:35:13,347
Where...? Where the fuck from?
607
00:35:13,387 --> 00:35:14,987
They made jizz puddings together.
608
00:35:15,027 --> 00:35:16,840
Course they fucking have,
haven't you?
609
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,275
- They're on their way.
- Go and nick the rest of the shit.
610
00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:22,880
I'm gonna tie her up.
I'll tie her up. I'll tie her.
611
00:35:42,627 --> 00:35:44,227
Ooh! Have that!
612
00:35:44,267 --> 00:35:46,067
Have that!
613
00:36:10,067 --> 00:36:11,867
Argh!
614
00:36:13,147 --> 00:36:15,147
Sarim. Sarim.
615
00:36:15,187 --> 00:36:18,387
Oh, man, you shoulder it looks
dislocated. Here I'll fix it.
616
00:36:18,427 --> 00:36:21,427
Anley, keep your hand on his
shoulder, no matter what he says.
617
00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:23,267
Don't lift it up.
618
00:36:25,987 --> 00:36:27,627
Quick!
619
00:36:32,707 --> 00:36:35,187
Come on, Vinnie! Get in the car!
620
00:36:35,227 --> 00:36:37,027
Come on!
621
00:36:37,067 --> 00:36:38,867
- Faster!
- Just fucking go!
622
00:36:49,947 --> 00:36:51,587
There's Jim, slow down!
623
00:36:55,427 --> 00:36:57,067
What took you?
624
00:36:57,107 --> 00:36:59,387
Only a fucking woman
would say that.
625
00:36:59,427 --> 00:37:02,467
You see,
this is why I've never got wed.
626
00:37:02,507 --> 00:37:04,707
- Shit like this.
- Is that the only reason?
627
00:37:04,747 --> 00:37:07,707
Hey, I've had plenty
of offers love.
628
00:37:45,744 --> 00:37:47,384
You all right, love?
629
00:37:49,535 --> 00:37:54,575
It's my last day as a s-single man,
you know.
630
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:57,175
Yeah, well,
631
00:37:57,240 --> 00:37:59,227
it's not all it's cracked up to be,
you know.
632
00:37:59,267 --> 00:38:01,220
I'm fucking miserable.
633
00:38:03,747 --> 00:38:07,700
You love her man and she loves you.
634
00:38:09,027 --> 00:38:11,227
You've got to hang onto that,
haven't you?
635
00:38:13,780 --> 00:38:15,780
I'm proud of you, Cardi.
636
00:38:17,460 --> 00:38:19,680
- Thanks, mate.
- Come and give me a love.
637
00:38:23,633 --> 00:38:26,860
You know it won't change owt.
I'll still be here.
638
00:38:26,900 --> 00:38:28,815
- I'll still be part of everything.
- I know you will.
639
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,264
- Yeah.
- I know.
640
00:38:30,460 --> 00:38:31,800
It's all right.
641
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,140
Are you gonna come and check your
wedding out?
642
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,500
Mm?
643
00:38:37,094 --> 00:38:38,814
- Yeah.
- Come on.
644
00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:40,360
Bejewelled, eh?
645
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,940
Yeah, fucking Carol made it.
646
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,800
Ready?
647
00:38:58,780 --> 00:39:02,180
One. Two. Three.
648
00:39:06,860 --> 00:39:09,180
Oh, my...
649
00:39:24,380 --> 00:39:26,380
- Are you all right?
- How are you?
650
00:39:30,146 --> 00:39:33,600
Bloody hell. Who's done that to
Nigel? He looks fucking ace!
651
00:39:34,545 --> 00:39:35,860
So...
652
00:39:35,900 --> 00:39:36,780
Yeah?
653
00:39:37,540 --> 00:39:39,640
Are you gonna tell me what really
happened last night?
654
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,700
Oh, nothing.
655
00:39:42,860 --> 00:39:44,660
Why don't I believe you?
656
00:39:44,700 --> 00:39:47,900
Look, Erin,
honestly, it was nothing.
657
00:39:47,940 --> 00:39:49,640
Right? I promise.
658
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,960
OK.
659
00:39:51,820 --> 00:39:53,460
Dearly beloved.
660
00:39:53,508 --> 00:39:56,288
We are gathered here today to
witness the union of
661
00:39:56,550 --> 00:39:59,340
Carol Dennings and Cardi.
662
00:39:59,504 --> 00:40:04,120
Or, if we're to use him his birth
name, it's actually Leslie Titt.
663
00:40:06,180 --> 00:40:08,460
The joining together of two people
664
00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:11,900
spending the rest of their lives
together is to be respected.
665
00:40:11,940 --> 00:40:14,320
Trust me, as an undertaker,
666
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:20,820
I've seen many marriages end in
violence, misery and murder...
667
00:40:20,860 --> 00:40:24,200
So if any persons here present know
of any reason
668
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,060
why these two people should not be
joined together in holy wedlock,
669
00:40:28,100 --> 00:40:32,460
can you please speak now
or forever hold your peace.
670
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:33,680
Yeah, me!
671
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,120
Nah, I'm only kidding. Carry on.
672
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:39,760
Mind you, fifty percent do end in
divorce so you're probably...
673
00:40:41,156 --> 00:40:44,500
You're making a good point, but
let's continue on, right so...
674
00:40:44,540 --> 00:40:47,540
May we have the bridesmaid
and the best man,
675
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,000
come forth and provide the rings?
Thank you.
676
00:40:54,244 --> 00:40:55,964
- Just answer as I ask, OK.
- Yes.
677
00:40:55,989 --> 00:41:01,669
Do you, Carol Cassandra Denning,
take this man Leslie Arthur Titt?
678
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:10,680
...sickness and in health?
679
00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:12,360
Police!
680
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,200
Armed police! Nobody move!
681
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,680
Vincent O'Neill.
682
00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:18,560
Nobody move!
683
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:22,840
Vincent O' Neill, we are arresting
you on conspiracy to murder.
684
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,680
You do not have to say anything
but it may harm your defence
685
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:27,520
if you fail to mention
when questioned
686
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,680
something which
you later rely on in court.
687
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:33,600
No, you don't understand. He's my
best friend. It's my-my wedding.
688
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,880
Cardi... Cardi, love...
689
00:41:47,933 --> 00:41:50,600
- Vinnie, no. Just go back inside.
- You're making a mistake!
690
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,973
Just-Just give me...
Just give me 30 seconds.
691
00:41:54,013 --> 00:41:55,733
You've got me now.
692
00:41:55,773 --> 00:41:57,413
Just 30 seconds.
693
00:41:59,453 --> 00:42:01,453
Erin, I know you don't...
694
00:42:03,095 --> 00:42:04,815
...but I do.
695
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,240
And-And if there was a button,
I'd press it.
696
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:14,240
I know it's wrong, but you're
the first thing in the morning...
697
00:42:15,973 --> 00:42:17,973
...and you're the
last thing at night.
698
00:42:20,213 --> 00:42:24,213
I just... I don't know how to tell
you how much you mean to me.
699
00:42:26,965 --> 00:42:29,005
Tell Tyler I love him.
700
00:42:30,293 --> 00:42:31,893
Vinnie.
52599
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