All language subtitles for Brassic - 02x04 - Episode Four.AHDTV.LiNKLE+AHDTV.FaiLED.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,177 --> 00:00:28,760 There's no room! 2 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,400 Dad? Dad? 3 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,240 - Dad? - There's no room! 4 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:34,720 No, no, no. No. Fuck, Dad, please? 5 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,160 - I told you, there's no room. - Fuck! 6 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,200 Told you. Find some place else. 7 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,240 Fuck! 8 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,840 Fuck! 9 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,520 What do you think? 10 00:01:07,907 --> 00:01:09,827 I'd have used flame-throwers. 11 00:01:09,867 --> 00:01:11,200 What you... Wh-What? 12 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,520 - Flamethrowers, against the zombies. - No. I didn't say... 13 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,600 Or... 14 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,200 Or a crossbow with flaming arrows. 15 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,520 From an elevated position. And you just pick them off. One by one. 16 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,280 - I didn't say zombies, did I? - They sound like zombies. 17 00:01:24,305 --> 00:01:27,640 Didn't say zombies. I said they're like normal-looking people. 18 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,400 Yeah, but what if the zombies have developed the ability to 19 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,880 disguise themselves as normal people? 20 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,720 It's like three times, I've told you now that 21 00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:36,720 they're not zombies and it's just not sinking in. 22 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,600 They were normal-looking people. 23 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,680 And the reason I'm having these fucked-up dreams, 24 00:01:40,704 --> 00:01:42,360 it's cos of all them pills you've put me on. 25 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,680 If you pick me up and shook me, I'd sound I'm like a maraca. 26 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,440 You can point your finger at the meds for your sleep distribution, 27 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,320 but the content of your dreams, 28 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,840 that's between you and your subconscious. 29 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,480 And there's environmental considerations. 30 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,600 Well, like what? 31 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,880 Like living alone in the big, dark woods smoking fat blunts 32 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,680 and watching the serial killer documentaries till you fall asleep. 33 00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:06,240 I find 'em fucking fascinating. 34 00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:09,600 Soothing. 35 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,280 Look, why don't you try a change of scene? 36 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:17,675 Go and stay somewhere else, see if that has any effect on your dreams. 37 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,320 Or, failing that, buy yourself a flame-thrower. 38 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,020 For fuck's sake. 39 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,400 Do you want to see something horrible? 40 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,280 Yeah. Go on. 41 00:02:26,304 --> 00:02:28,495 I had this patient in today. Have you seen the Elephant Man? 42 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,440 Yeah, I've seen the Elephant Man, yeah. 43 00:02:30,464 --> 00:02:31,479 John Merrick. 44 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,480 Makes John Merrick look like Linda Lusardi. Watch this. 45 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,640 Oh, fuck. 46 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,560 Wait till I zoom in. I couldn't do anything with it. 47 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,720 I went through three knives! 48 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,560 I shouldn't show it to you. 49 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,200 Oh, I hate myself. 50 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,840 Jim's got a spare room. 51 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,695 Yeah, but it's... But it's a racist room. Do you know what I mean? 52 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,320 I can't be staying in a racist room, it's gonna make me feel worse. 53 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,720 - Stay at mine, if you like. - I not staying at yours... 54 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,960 - Fuck.Sorry. - Why would I stay at yours? 55 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000 You've got... I'm sorry. Come on. 56 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,240 You've got a llama, there's fucking Carol. 57 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,760 I just... I need my own space. 58 00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:07,399 You don't like sharing a toilet is more like it. 59 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,800 No, I don't like sharing a toilet, Dylan, because I'm a shy... 60 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,720 I'm... I'm a shy poo-er 61 00:03:12,744 --> 00:03:14,440 and I don't like the idea someone could just 62 00:03:14,464 --> 00:03:16,464 fucking blaze on in on me, mid-squit. 63 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,840 Why don't you stop here tonight? 64 00:03:18,864 --> 00:03:20,864 Kath and Sandra are off to see Tinsley in Rhyl. 65 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,120 - You'd have the whole pub to yourself. - Yeah? 66 00:03:23,144 --> 00:03:24,199 Kath's room. 67 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,280 The decor is a bit niche, but she has a lovely, comfy bed. 68 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,760 Ashley, where the fuck is everyone? 69 00:03:29,784 --> 00:03:32,175 I've got the pub to myself here and everyone has deserted me. 70 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,160 I'm with Tommo. Helping him out with something. 71 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,880 Oh yeah? What's the big mystery? 72 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,011 Er, nothing, no, no. It's, er, just this thing. 73 00:03:39,106 --> 00:03:40,200 What thing? 74 00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,527 I borrowed 50 quid off him, there last week 75 00:03:42,527 --> 00:03:45,425 and now he's got me paying it back, doing a bunch of... 76 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,840 'entertaining' for these old girls. 77 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,480 Ha ha! You're joking? 78 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,760 I wish I was. 79 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,320 Right! Chop-chop. 80 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,680 Show time! Now, then... I have to go, Vin. 81 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,920 I want you to get out there... 82 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,480 and give those lovely ladies a fucking night to remember. 83 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:03,440 Here. Do summat sexy with it. 84 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,440 He loves it, really. 85 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,480 Ah, that's it. 86 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,180 Go on! Gerrin! 87 00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:16,560 Gina will be in first thing to clean. I'll be in from ten to open up. 88 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,740 Right. 89 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,040 - Night love. - Night, love. 90 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,880 Hm... 91 00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:52,415 What the neighbours didn't realise was that Robinson had, in fact, 92 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,768 killed his mother several years earlier and 93 00:04:54,793 --> 00:04:57,600 and slept alongside her mummified remains in her bed. 94 00:04:57,808 --> 00:05:01,178 During a search of the property, the police uncovered the remains of 95 00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:04,960 12 bodies that had been dismembered, as well as a trophy wall 96 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,880 featuring framed photographs of each of his victims... 97 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:17,040 ...victims throughout their own homes in the dead of night. 98 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,000 It's like a self-perpetuating nightmare. 99 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,920 My fucking subconscious is out to get me or summat. 100 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,560 - Hm? - Fuck me... Dyldo? 101 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,000 - Are you listening, you? - No, I am. 102 00:05:26,024 --> 00:05:27,671 All right, what did I just say then? 103 00:05:27,671 --> 00:05:30,480 You were going on about zombies or something. 104 00:05:30,535 --> 00:05:31,840 I didn't say zombies. 105 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:34,360 I never mentioned zombies. Nobody listens to me! 106 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,360 Dude, I'm baked man. You know? What do you want me to say? 107 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,640 I don't fucking know what I want you to say. 108 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,720 I've just told you I've just had a brutal dream, 109 00:05:41,744 --> 00:05:44,163 about a group of sinister fucking... 110 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,400 joggers. 111 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,080 Wow. 112 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,084 Fuck off! 113 00:05:49,084 --> 00:05:51,200 Dude, it wasn't real, was it? 114 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:53,880 If it were real, then I'd be more engaged, but it wasn't, so I'm not. 115 00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:57,560 Oh, lah-di-dah! 116 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,840 Fucking Dylan. 117 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:00,360 Jesus Christ, forgive me. 118 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,880 Forgive me for not having a more engaging zombie dream. 119 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,160 - Dylan, the police are downstairs! - What? 120 00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:09,160 The police are downstairs. Fuck. Vin, I've got to go. 121 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:09,960 They want to talk to you. 122 00:06:09,984 --> 00:06:12,320 What? What do they want? Did they say what it was about? 123 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,760 No, but they don't look happy. 124 00:06:13,784 --> 00:06:16,735 Shit, shit, shit, shit. I'm too high for this. Jesus Christ! 125 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,200 - Dylan? - Er... Er... 126 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,320 - Dylan? - What? What? 127 00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:24,595 Your face was priceless! 128 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,682 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Are the police here? 129 00:06:27,707 --> 00:06:29,895 No. It's, erm, it's my parents. 130 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,600 - Oh. - They've come back with some friends. 131 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,360 Come down and say hi. 132 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,220 Oh, everyone, this is my friend, Dylan. 133 00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,680 - Hello, Dylan. - Hi. 134 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,400 - Hi, Dylan. - Hi, Dylan. 135 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,840 Thanks... 136 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,280 for, er, well, for coming. 137 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,560 So, where do you come from, Dylan? 138 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,400 Upstairs. 139 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,120 In Sara's bedroom. 140 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,120 No, no. Not doing anything. Just... 141 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,280 I was... I was just watching her get changed. 142 00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:04,135 While she got changed. 143 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:08,320 I was looking right out of the window for the duration of her being... 144 00:07:09,772 --> 00:07:11,372 ...naked. 145 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,560 Oh, sorry, sorry. 146 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:17,920 Oh. 147 00:07:17,945 --> 00:07:21,160 It's on silent. Erm... I probably should get this. 148 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,480 Hello. Yeah. 149 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,400 Damn. Right, OK. 150 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,560 Well, I... Yeah, I guess, if it is an emergency, then... 151 00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:34,520 My friend has... He's changed this as a joke and I don't know how to... 152 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,760 Huh! 153 00:07:37,270 --> 00:07:39,720 - Dyl, you don't get it. - Hey, mate. Yeah. 154 00:07:39,744 --> 00:07:42,280 - You hung up on a brother! - Yeah, dude, man. 155 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,240 You'll never guess, right, there has just been some crossed-line thing. 156 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,840 It wasn't ringing then. Then it did, just now. 157 00:07:48,864 --> 00:07:50,864 So, all right, then, yeah. 158 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,520 Dylan! What a fucker! 159 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,120 So, erm... 160 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,880 Sara was telling me that... 161 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,249 that this house was... was built in... 162 00:07:59,274 --> 00:08:01,360 1947. 163 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,120 If I was ever designing a house like this, I would probably... 164 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,760 I'd probably take pictures of this and copy it, you know. 165 00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:12,960 ...after the shocking discovery that 166 00:08:12,984 --> 00:08:15,921 neighbours later recalled having heard strange dull 167 00:08:15,979 --> 00:08:18,560 thudding sounds emanating from the property... 168 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,800 Oh, shit. 169 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,140 Fuck! 170 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,100 Fuck! 171 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:55,971 Come on. 172 00:08:55,971 --> 00:08:57,720 I have to say, Cardi, I'm very impressed. 173 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,880 - Oh, do you like it? - Oh, it's perfect. 174 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,840 - You've gone to so much trouble. - Well, you're worth it. 175 00:09:02,865 --> 00:09:06,200 I watched a video online which showed you how to... 176 00:09:06,224 --> 00:09:07,870 d-d-de-beard a mussel. 177 00:09:07,871 --> 00:09:08,505 Oh? 178 00:09:08,530 --> 00:09:12,015 You just... You take hold of its beard and tug it, firmly. 179 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,320 Oh, is that right? You have to take charge of it, do you? 180 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,360 Be firm and dominate it? 181 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,320 Pull its hair and... show it who is the boss? 182 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,720 Ignore it. 183 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,280 It's Vinnie. How did he...? 184 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,920 Turn the sound down, at least. 185 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,455 You were telling me how you used a firm hand. 186 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,600 Oh, yeah. It took us ages to find the shallots. Right? 187 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,640 Cos I didn't know what they were. 188 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:41,320 But it turns out they're just like l-l-little onions. 189 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:43,360 And the erm... 190 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,600 the mussels I just got off John. 191 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,840 John? 192 00:09:48,163 --> 00:09:50,163 You're talking about John the Nose? 193 00:09:50,188 --> 00:09:51,300 That's right. 194 00:09:52,449 --> 00:09:54,814 He tried to sell me, like, a bag of mussels there, 195 00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:56,720 like, over a week ago. 196 00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:58,840 Yeah. That's right. Luckily, he still had 'em. 197 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:02,690 The ones that were on the dash of his transit van in a carrier bag? 198 00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:04,280 That's the ones, yeah. 199 00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:08,600 Jesus, Cardi. 200 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,840 They're fecking off, you mad bastard. 201 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,005 You can't be eating shellfish that's been in a carrier bag 202 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,400 sat on the dash of a transit van for a week! 203 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,400 - I knew it! I knew they were off. - Ah. 204 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,440 That'll be why they didn't open. I had to use pliers. 205 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,760 Oh, fucking Jesus Christ, Cardi! 206 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,720 Oh, fuck! Eurgh! 207 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,200 I'm not going back out there, Tommo. 208 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,160 They may be 90 years old, but they're fucking rabid. 209 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,200 Come on, mate. Sweetheart... 210 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,560 Listen to me. 211 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,080 They're a bit over-excited. 212 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,240 But they're bound to be, aren't they? 213 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,280 Some of them haven't seen a knob up close since D-Day. 214 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,040 They're not just over-excited, Tommo, are they? 215 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,680 They're all coked-up! 216 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,180 What? What's he on about? Coked-up? 217 00:11:06,204 --> 00:11:07,439 What the fuck are you on about, you? 218 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,720 I fucking seen you 219 00:11:08,744 --> 00:11:10,960 selling gear to a few of them old handbags out there, 220 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,314 the rusty old wrist straps. 221 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:16,267 Listen to me. Sweetheart, right, you're being paid to entertain. 222 00:11:16,292 --> 00:11:19,040 Right? So mind your own fucking business and get back out there. 223 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,440 You haven't a fucking chance. 224 00:11:20,464 --> 00:11:21,600 You're not paying me enough 225 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,280 to get molested by a load of senior citizens. 226 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,520 It's traumatising, Tommo! 227 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,720 They're properly out of control, Tommo. They've breached the stage! 228 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,760 - Fucking hell. - Come on. 229 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,280 Ladies... 230 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,680 - Stop it! Give me that back! - No! 231 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,720 Aw, baby! Fucking hell! 232 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,327 Oh, yeah, that's bad. That is bad. 233 00:11:50,351 --> 00:11:52,039 I shouldn't have given them any drugs. 234 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,280 Right, get the fucking door. Lock it! 235 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,720 Turn that light off. Turn the lights off! 236 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,560 - Oh, sorry. Oh. - Oh. Hey. 237 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,200 - Hi. Hi. - Hi. 238 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,160 - You all right? - Yeah. 239 00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:14,859 Yeah. Er... 240 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,200 Vinnie changed my ringtone. 241 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:19,840 No, things... 242 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,200 Things are good. Erm... 243 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,040 How's Tyler? 244 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,080 Yeah, he's amazing. As usual. 245 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,241 - Hiya. - Hey. 246 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,920 Er... Er, sorry. 247 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,760 You've met... erm... 248 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,480 Erin. 249 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,455 - That's Sara, Erin. - Erin! Hi! 250 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,200 Hi. Nice to meet you. 251 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,440 Oh, you, too, nice to meet you. 252 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:46,055 - The... Erm... - I've heard so much about Tyler. 253 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:47,520 - Have you? - Yeah. 254 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:48,935 Aw, that's nice. 255 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,560 Is he with you? 256 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,160 Oh, no, no, no. Not at this time. No. It's way past his bed time. 257 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,640 Well, he sounds like a very special little boy. 258 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,360 Yeah, he is. 259 00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:00,761 Right. Oh. 260 00:13:01,492 --> 00:13:03,492 - OK. - Hi. 261 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,517 - Er, Sugar, this is... - Sara. Yeah. 262 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,320 It's... 263 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,360 - Pleased to meet you. - Oh. 264 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,640 You're both looking very glam. Off somewhere nice? 265 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,240 - Yeah, we're crashing a wedding. - No, not really. 266 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,704 - Just out... and about. - About.. 267 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,922 Anyway, we were... er... just gonna go. 268 00:13:20,922 --> 00:13:23,400 Yeah, we'd better pay for these. 269 00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:26,290 No, I don't think... Do you want these? 270 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,720 No, no, no. Just... 271 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,360 Erm... 272 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,700 - Have a fun night. - You, too. 273 00:13:31,724 --> 00:13:32,640 Nice meeting you. 274 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,560 - Bye. - Erm... 275 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,600 Yeah. 276 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,920 - You look really fucking glam? - Oh, don't! 277 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,120 What is she trying to say? Did you hear what she said about Tyler? 278 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,360 As if he's gonna be in here, at this time of night. 279 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,960 What kind of mum does she think I am? She was such a bitch. 280 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,960 Posh bitch! You see the way she kept pawing at him, as well? Gross! 281 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,200 So insecure. Love, we get it, you're together. 282 00:13:57,224 --> 00:13:58,440 You don't have to keep touching him. 283 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,720 No-one's going to try and run off with him. Proper phoney. 284 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,080 - Sugar... - What? 285 00:14:04,965 --> 00:14:06,540 She was nice. 286 00:14:07,204 --> 00:14:09,800 - She was all right. - Exactly what he needs. 287 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,320 Deserves. 288 00:14:11,393 --> 00:14:13,160 I mean, just cos me and Jake didn't work out, 289 00:14:13,184 --> 00:14:14,680 it doesn't mean that they shouldn't. 290 00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:18,660 You want to know summat, as well? 291 00:14:18,937 --> 00:14:21,057 I actually miss the chaos of that lot. 292 00:14:21,558 --> 00:14:23,220 Seriously. 293 00:14:23,476 --> 00:14:26,309 You want some chaos? Do you want some chaos? 294 00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:27,539 Please. 295 00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:29,400 Let's go and get fucking bladdered! 296 00:15:00,735 --> 00:15:03,215 ♪ Sane, sane, they're all insane 297 00:15:03,794 --> 00:15:06,394 ♪ Fireman's blind, the conductor is lame... 298 00:15:09,055 --> 00:15:11,055 Fuck! 299 00:15:19,775 --> 00:15:21,775 ♪ ..Clap your hands 300 00:15:23,295 --> 00:15:25,295 ♪ Clap your hands... ♪ 301 00:15:41,138 --> 00:15:42,335 Fuck me. 302 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,500 Shit. 303 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:08,500 Hello. 304 00:16:27,044 --> 00:16:29,540 Hey, er... Hey, D-Man! 305 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,320 Er... 306 00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:35,380 Come here a minute. 307 00:16:42,656 --> 00:16:46,240 Oh, I swear, D-Man, you're getting bigger every time I see you. 308 00:16:46,265 --> 00:16:50,040 Been going to t'gym, innit, Vinnie. What quarms? 309 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,860 I'll tell you what fucking quarms, D-Man. 310 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,880 There's someone in the cellar. 311 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,800 What? You're having a fucking laugh. 312 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,160 No. I'm not having a laugh. 313 00:17:00,184 --> 00:17:02,360 I'm not having a fucking laugh. There's someone in the cellar. 314 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,880 Well, do you want to shoot him with this? 315 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,800 Where on earth have you got that? 316 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,040 I never leave the house without it. 317 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,800 Well, a fucking... 318 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,727 An AK-47 is a bit much, don't you think, D-Man? 319 00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:16,109 What are you being a little bitch for? 320 00:17:16,109 --> 00:17:17,480 I'm not being a little bitch! 321 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,880 You are being a little bitch. What the fuck are you even wearing, man? 322 00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:22,880 It's a co-ord. All right? 323 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,280 I'm actually on trend, I'll have you know. 324 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,280 Are you having spray tans, as well? 325 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,080 I've had one or two. 326 00:17:29,104 --> 00:17:31,560 I have had one or two. It's the time of year, D-Man. 327 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,480 It's that time of year. I'm fucking pasty, dude. 328 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,615 I don't look well. So, yes, I go and have one or two spray tans. 329 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,720 And she's gradually getting darker. 330 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,800 Do you know, you've pissed me off now, you've hurt my feelings. 331 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,577 I'm sorry, Vinnie. I didn't mean ***. 332 00:17:47,995 --> 00:17:49,800 You have, you've hurt my fucking feelings. 333 00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:51,720 You come round here with an AK-47... 334 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,000 and you're unreasonable. 335 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,628 I think... I think I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, D-Man. 336 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,000 Don't be like that, Vinnie. 337 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000 No, no, no. Fucking, that's it now. 338 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:07,160 That's it. Shouldn't have mentioned the spray tans. 339 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,800 Really got my back up. You know I'm sensitive. 340 00:18:10,135 --> 00:18:11,735 Sen... Sensitive. 341 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,360 Go on, get out, get out now. 342 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:15,000 Fuck. 343 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,360 Get out of it, get gone. Get out of it, you pig! Go on, you cunt. 344 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,000 Fuck me. 345 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,600 Fuck. 346 00:18:24,176 --> 00:18:26,640 All right, whoever you are... 347 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,000 ...I'm gonna give you to the count of ten. 348 00:18:30,699 --> 00:18:34,099 And then that's... That's fucking it, you're getting it. 349 00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:37,226 One... 350 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,080 ...two... 351 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,360 ♪ I'd rather go fishing than out on some date 352 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,360 ♪ All you need to go fishing... ♪ 353 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,800 Come on. 354 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,120 Oh, f-f-fuckkk! 355 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,360 ...five... Halfway there now, pal. 356 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,040 ...six, seven... 357 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,400 You'll notice I'm racing through it, cos I don't give a fuck. 358 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,620 ...nine... 359 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,440 and three-quarters... 360 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,060 All right, that's ten. 361 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,520 I said this would happen. 362 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,560 I said this would happen. 363 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,480 Fuck. 364 00:20:23,011 --> 00:20:24,200 Fuck. 365 00:20:27,028 --> 00:20:29,028 Shit. 366 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,280 Vinnie? 367 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,704 Oh, Cardi, thank Christ! Dude, listen. 368 00:20:39,729 --> 00:20:40,495 Vinnie. 369 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,000 No, shut up. Listen, I need your help, man. 370 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,880 - I'm dying. - What? 371 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,560 F-F-Food poisoning. 372 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,480 I made the woman I love shit her pants in front of me, Vinnie. 373 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,920 Carol... 374 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,680 She can't... 375 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,600 She can't stop shitting. 376 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,240 I've never seen... 377 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,680 ...anything like it. 378 00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:03,720 I'm sorry to hear that, dude, 379 00:21:03,744 --> 00:21:05,120 but I'm locked in the toilets at The Crow's Nest. 380 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,440 I... I can't leave this toilet, Vinnie. 381 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,600 If I don't make it... 382 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,920 ...I want you to have my things. 383 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,000 - You don't have any things. - I have got things! 384 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,240 Just stay hydrated. 385 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,880 Fucking chips! 386 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,920 Jim! Jim? 387 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,920 - Fucking looking at? - Jim! Jim! Jim! 388 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,960 Jim, up here! Jim! 389 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,200 You! What the fuck do you want? 390 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,240 - Jim! - What? 391 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,400 Fuck off, you fucking cod-stealing bastard shit. 392 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,640 Who are you talking to, you fucking idiot? 393 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,120 These are my fucking chips, so fucking fuck the fuck off. 394 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,360 - Before I fucking... - Nobody wants your fucking chips, Jim! 395 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,400 Oi! Up here. Look up! 396 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,280 Look up! Jim, look up! 397 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,720 - Fuck me. - You? Again? 398 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,680 I thought I fucking told you to fuck off, didn't I? 399 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,720 If you look at my fucking chips one more time... 400 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,180 Look up! 401 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,160 Fuck! Jim! 402 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,000 Are you all right, dude? 403 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,200 ♪ What is love? Baby, don't... ♪ 404 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,240 What are you singing Haddaway for? 405 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,280 Fucking wanker. 406 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,760 Fucking hurt my fucking head! 407 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:42,860 Cunts. 408 00:22:45,401 --> 00:22:47,401 Fuck. 409 00:22:58,516 --> 00:23:00,316 Shit. 410 00:23:00,341 --> 00:23:02,141 Shit! 411 00:23:16,763 --> 00:23:18,403 Hey, up, mate. 412 00:23:20,643 --> 00:23:21,700 Oi! 413 00:23:21,910 --> 00:23:23,350 Fuck! 414 00:23:25,643 --> 00:23:27,643 Please don't be dead. 415 00:23:28,789 --> 00:23:30,789 Which fucking side, is it? 416 00:23:32,322 --> 00:23:33,620 Fuck! 417 00:23:36,923 --> 00:23:38,923 Who the fuck are you? 418 00:23:40,643 --> 00:23:41,580 Shit. 419 00:23:41,735 --> 00:23:44,655 - What's happened? - Er... Er, nothing. 420 00:23:45,243 --> 00:23:47,840 I've known you long enough to know that you wouldn't be calling me 421 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,400 at this time of night if there hadn't been some drama. 422 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,840 So, go on. No, no, no, listen, nothing's happened. 423 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:54,840 There's nothing... There's nothing to worry about. 424 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,120 - Vinnie, I'm fucking with you! - Ha! 425 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:59,425 - What are you like? - What you doing, anyway? 426 00:23:59,450 --> 00:24:01,250 Oh, you know, I'm just, er... 427 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:03,840 I'm just chilling, just hanging out. 428 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,680 Oh, come out. Come out. Me and Sugar are out. 429 00:24:05,704 --> 00:24:06,959 Come out! 430 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,080 No, I can't, love, I can't. I'm... 431 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,560 I'm up early, you see. 432 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,040 Sugar said you're staying at Kath's. 433 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,520 Yeah. Yeah, I am. Just... Just for one night. 434 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,840 In't it dead creepy being there by yourself? 435 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,160 Shit. 436 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,000 Er... Yeah. Yeah. 437 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,920 Yeah, it is a bit, actually. 438 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,720 I haven't seen you for ages. 439 00:24:25,744 --> 00:24:27,744 I just said to Sugar that I miss the craziness. 440 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,840 Oh, well, there's none of that round here. 441 00:24:29,864 --> 00:24:31,864 Fuck me, I am bored to tears, honestly. 442 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,000 - Yeah? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 443 00:24:34,024 --> 00:24:35,095 So, I can't tempt you out? 444 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,680 I'd love to, but I'm up too early. 445 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,200 - Boo! - Boring. 446 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,360 All right, then, I'll let you go, yeah. 447 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,560 - Later, alligator. - In a while, crocodile. 448 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,600 Fuck! Erm... 449 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,200 Shit! 450 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,760 Fuck off. 451 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,200 Oh, fuck me! 452 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:32,720 Fuck! 453 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,160 What the fuck? Throw a dick at me? Get the fuck out of here, man! 454 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,455 Oh, leave me alone! I ain't even done owt. 455 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,040 You were breaking and entering! 456 00:25:42,064 --> 00:25:43,960 You know, there's laws against that kind of shit. 457 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,920 It... It were an accident. 458 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,200 - An accident? - I fell through the delivery hatch. 459 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,240 Yeah, yeah, and I suppose that balaclava 460 00:25:51,264 --> 00:25:52,999 fall on your head an' all, did it? 461 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,880 No. 462 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,920 - I'm in the SAS. - The SAS? 463 00:25:56,944 --> 00:25:57,479 Yeah. 464 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,535 I'm on a top-secret mission, aren't I? 465 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,520 Here, in Hawley? 466 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,160 I'm not allowed to say. It's a secret! 467 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,280 Listen, Orville, 468 00:26:06,304 --> 00:26:09,360 I'm sure Keith Harris is probably wondering where the fuck you are. 469 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,080 I don't want you here, man. 470 00:26:11,104 --> 00:26:13,320 And I'm guessing you don't want to be here either. 471 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,600 So, behind you, there's a window. 472 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:19,200 Climb through the window. There's a fire escape. Down the ladders. 473 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,535 Fuck off. Don't come back. Let sleeping dogs lie. How's that? 474 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:24,745 I don't know. It looks quite high, that. 475 00:26:25,024 --> 00:26:27,704 Oh, God, no! It's dead high, that! I can't do that. 476 00:26:27,744 --> 00:26:28,880 Just fucking... 477 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,415 Of course it's high. It's a fire escape! 478 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,120 I can't do heights, they panic me. 479 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,600 Did you mention that in your SAS interview? 480 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,040 - No. - No. 481 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,320 Fuck me... What are we gonna do then? 482 00:26:41,678 --> 00:26:46,040 How about you just... open the door and just let us out? 483 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,840 Fuck that. What if you've got a knife and you try and stab me or summat? 484 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,640 I haven't got nothing, I swear! Oh, please. 485 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,680 I just want to go home. 486 00:26:55,163 --> 00:26:56,880 All right, I'll tell you what. I'll open this door. 487 00:26:56,904 --> 00:26:58,904 If you try any funny business, 488 00:27:00,457 --> 00:27:02,440 - I'll finger you to death. - Eh? 489 00:27:02,464 --> 00:27:03,106 No. 490 00:27:03,107 --> 00:27:04,440 - You what? - Not like... 491 00:27:04,464 --> 00:27:05,280 Help! 492 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:06,960 - No, no, no! - Help! Mister! 493 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,519 - Fuck, I didn't mean it like that. - I'm locked in a bathroom 494 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,840 and there's a man 495 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,720 threatening to finger me to death! 496 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,600 - I'm not sure what that means. - That was a misguided attempt 497 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,880 to try and bring some levity to the situation. 498 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,640 What's levity? 499 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,953 - Is that like fingering? - No, it's not fingering. 500 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,080 It's not fingering. Just... 501 00:27:24,969 --> 00:27:26,969 I'm sorry, man, I... 502 00:27:28,059 --> 00:27:29,819 Oh... 503 00:27:29,844 --> 00:27:31,647 What's going on in there? Are you all right? 504 00:27:31,671 --> 00:27:32,480 Aaah! 505 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,880 Yeah. It's... It's jammed right in. I can't get it out. 506 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,320 I think it's touching my brain. 507 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,880 All right, well, I'd better take a look at it. 508 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,040 OK. 509 00:27:46,053 --> 00:27:48,053 Oh, shit. 510 00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,760 Brought that on yourself. 511 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,920 - It really hurts. - Come on. 512 00:27:55,755 --> 00:27:57,755 How does it look? 513 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,503 - Does it look bad? - Yeah. 514 00:28:01,528 --> 00:28:03,289 You're not supposed to say that! 515 00:28:03,313 --> 00:28:05,752 When you ask doctors and that, they say, 'No.' 516 00:28:05,752 --> 00:28:08,320 You've got a fucking corkscrew in the side of your head. 517 00:28:08,344 --> 00:28:09,560 Of course it looks bad. 518 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,920 Well, let me just... Let me try and pull it out. 519 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,140 Will it bleed? Cos I just can't do blood and that. 520 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,680 It's almost as if... 521 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,856 you're not really in the SAS. 522 00:28:19,881 --> 00:28:20,920 Hm. 523 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,400 It'll probably... It'll... 524 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:25,440 It probably won't bleed. 525 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,080 - All right? - Good. 526 00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,000 OK. I'm ready. 527 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,320 Oh, you're going the wrong way! You're making it go deeper! 528 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,360 I apologise. It were like lightning. But not nice lightning. 529 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,200 - Like frightening lightning. - Just shut the fuck up wittering on. 530 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,720 Oh, that's the same way! The same way! It's touching my brain again! 531 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,120 I don't know what I'm doing! 532 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,400 I'm dyslexic. Fucking clockwise, lefts and rights, I'm bad at it. 533 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,440 Everything's fucking digital now. 534 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,480 When was the last time you even saw a normal clock? 535 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,080 - All right. I know what I'm doing. - Oh, OK.All right. 536 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,120 Owww! Aaarrrggghhh! 537 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,880 Ohh! Aaa-aaa-aaah! 538 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,080 Oh, bloody hell! 539 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,720 - Let's have a look. - That's a lot of blood, that. 540 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,440 Oh, what's that? 541 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,280 - It's super glue. - Eh? 542 00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,920 Oh... 543 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,895 One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. 544 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,400 There you go. 545 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,480 - Shit! - What's up? 546 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,960 I fucking superglued my hand to your head. 547 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000 - Oh, no! - Oh, no. 548 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,040 Fuck! All right. One, two, three! 549 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,680 Oww! 550 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,520 Fuck me. I thought I'd killed you. 551 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,400 I've got narcolepsy. 552 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,533 When I get tired, I just fall asleep. 553 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:47,680 That's everyone. 554 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,680 I just wanted to pinch a few things. 555 00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,260 Not... Not much. 556 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,520 Just enough... 557 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,560 to buy a bird bath. 558 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,500 A bird bath? 559 00:29:56,980 --> 00:29:59,900 Yeah, not for me. For my mum. 560 00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:03,080 She doesn't really get out much any more. 561 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,440 She likes to sit in the garden and watch the birds. 562 00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:13,048 And there's this one bird that comes to visit her, a robin, 563 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,080 that she thinks is the reincarnation of my dad. 564 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,680 He were called Robin, you see. 565 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,200 She wants a bird bath for him, 566 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,240 on account of how he always... 567 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:25,460 liked... 568 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,000 to have a bath. 569 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:31,789 Can't you just go and nick a bird bath, like any normal person? 570 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,200 I've seen a really nice one. 571 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,760 York sandstone. Dead impressive it is. 572 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,800 In the grounds of this posh house. 573 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,520 Yeah, sounds really nice. Go and nick that one. 574 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,240 The thing is, it... it looks dead-heavy. 575 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,720 - Like a... two-man job. - Take a mate with you. 576 00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,520 Come on, you must have one friend. 577 00:30:54,820 --> 00:30:57,140 Mum says folk are odd. 578 00:30:57,180 --> 00:31:00,660 And it's their loss, if they don't warm to us. 579 00:31:01,166 --> 00:31:05,740 And... And you can't force people to be your friends, can you? 580 00:31:05,780 --> 00:31:10,620 I mean, sometimes, you're just better off staying out of their way. 581 00:31:13,820 --> 00:31:15,820 What's your name? 582 00:31:15,860 --> 00:31:17,660 Gideon. 583 00:31:19,209 --> 00:31:21,209 I'm Vinnie. 584 00:31:24,467 --> 00:31:27,560 No-one's here on Thursdays, so we're safe. 585 00:31:27,584 --> 00:31:29,179 Unless the D-Man followed us. 586 00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:30,600 Oh, you said he had a gun! 587 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,600 What if he sees us and shoots us with it, just for fun, like? 588 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,840 Gideon! Jesus Christ, listen to me. 589 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,480 D-Man's gone. 590 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,320 And he's not coming back. 591 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,360 All right? I promise you. Yeah? 592 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,400 - Yeah. - All right. 593 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,960 - Where is this bird bath, then? - Up there. 594 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,015 Why didn't you tell me to nick a bigger car, man? 595 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,160 You're having a laugh, dude. That's not a fucking bird bath. 596 00:31:59,184 --> 00:32:00,119 That's a fountain! 597 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,560 - A fountain? - Yeah. 598 00:32:01,584 --> 00:32:03,295 So, is that different to a bird bath? 599 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:04,800 Of course it's different to a bird bath. 600 00:32:04,824 --> 00:32:06,824 A fountain is much bigger, innit. 601 00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,480 The fucking thing is massive. How are we gonna fit it in the car? 602 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,600 Does that mean we can't get the birdbath for Mum, then? 603 00:32:15,857 --> 00:32:18,977 All right. Fuck it. We need to go and get the car. Come on. 604 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,360 Electronic fence. I'm just gonna force it. It should open. 605 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,000 - OK. - Here we go. 606 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:25,920 - You fucker. - They're not opening, Vinnie. 607 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,320 Well, fucking not yet, it's not. Give us a sec. 608 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:29,760 Urghh. 609 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,960 - They're still not opening. - I know! Fuck me, I'll climb over. 610 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,280 Oh. Ooh! 611 00:32:36,629 --> 00:32:38,819 For fuck's sake, dude! 612 00:32:48,441 --> 00:32:50,000 - Gideon! - Yeah? 613 00:32:50,024 --> 00:32:52,024 It's not gonna take much to make it give. 614 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,440 So, just... Oi! Nice and slow. 615 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,480 All right? Got it, Vinnie. 616 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,680 Just a bit more than that. Just a smidge. 617 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,120 OK. 618 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,920 Have you even let the clutch out, Gideon? 619 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,880 Er... Which one is that? 620 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,160 The clu... 621 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,655 Do you even know how to drive? 622 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,160 - No. - No? 623 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,280 - Is it even in gear? - Er... 624 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:19,000 Ah, right. Is that it? The stick here? 625 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,920 No, no, no, no, no! 626 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,120 Holy shit, man. Look at the state of it, you lunatic. 627 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,400 Oh, no. 628 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,680 Oh, no! You've really done it now, Gideon. 629 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,520 They'll put you in prison and then who is gonna look after Mum? 630 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,960 - Come on, let's run away! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 631 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,280 Just settle down. 632 00:33:40,304 --> 00:33:42,082 We're not going nowhere without that birdbath 633 00:33:42,106 --> 00:33:44,064 slash fountain thing. All right? 634 00:33:44,065 --> 00:33:46,640 Now, pull yourself together. Are you feeling strong? 635 00:33:46,664 --> 00:33:47,240 Why? 636 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,960 Cos it's gonna weigh a fucking ton, man! 637 00:33:48,984 --> 00:33:50,984 - Oh.Yeah? - OK. 638 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,960 Yeah? 639 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,080 OK. I'm going as fast as I can, Vinnie. 640 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,200 Oh, bloody hell! Stop moaning and get in the fucking car! 641 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,040 Get in the car! 642 00:34:13,707 --> 00:34:16,880 Right, you little bastards! I've got you on camera. 643 00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,120 Can you fuck off, please? It's hard enough to see without... 644 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,160 You are going viral! 645 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,440 There you are, stream that! 646 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,560 I can't believe you did that, Vinnie. 647 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,653 Feels good to be alive, doesn't it, pal, hey? 648 00:34:28,678 --> 00:34:30,240 Huzzah! 649 00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:33,240 Huzzah, dude! 650 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,280 - Huzzah! - Huzzah! 651 00:34:44,181 --> 00:34:47,815 Right, listen, I'm gonna get off. Oh, no, don't run off just yet. 652 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,800 - It's late, man. I need my bed. - Come and say hello to Mum. 653 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,280 She's gonna be asleep. She don't really sleep well. 654 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,360 She don't get many visitors. She'd be made up. 655 00:34:55,384 --> 00:34:57,560 Just pop up and say hello, like, please. 656 00:34:57,585 --> 00:34:59,200 - Please? - Yeah, all right, all right. 657 00:34:59,224 --> 00:35:01,224 Five minutes. Yeah? 658 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,120 - It's cold, innit? - It's got to be. 659 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,160 Mum can't sleep if it's too hot. 660 00:35:09,121 --> 00:35:11,121 She's just up there. 661 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,800 Who is all this lot? 662 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:16,920 Dead people. 663 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,920 - Hey? - They're all dead. 664 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,320 Well, they can't all be dead! 665 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,122 - Er... Yeah, they are. - He's not dead. 666 00:35:25,385 --> 00:35:26,985 Yeah, he is. 667 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,280 What about this lot here? 668 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,880 Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, they all died in a boating accident. 669 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:33,440 They won the boat on Bullseye. 670 00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:35,840 Got dropped in an artificial lake. No water. 671 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,560 - So, they were all killed. - Dude, is this a wall of dead people? 672 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:40,800 - Is that what this is? - Yeah. 673 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,760 - Everybody is dead? - Yeah, up to the top, yeah. 674 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,360 But he's not. He's not dead. 675 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,000 Oh, he is. He had an electric trike from Taiwan. 676 00:35:48,024 --> 00:35:50,480 It were too powerful. Took him right into t'wall. 677 00:35:50,622 --> 00:35:53,320 - Yeah, it were very sad. - A horrible story. 678 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,760 What's all this shit? The rapey doll here? 679 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,680 Who is this furry little... 680 00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,520 Fuck! Fuck me, dude. 681 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,160 Aw! 682 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,200 It's just Mr Mittens. 683 00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:03,982 All right. 684 00:36:04,007 --> 00:36:06,399 What are you doing up here, Mr Mittens? Meow! 685 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,560 Hello, Vinnie! 686 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,160 A bit Buffalo Bill in here, in't it, pal? 687 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:11,920 Oh, yeah. I get it. Woo-woo-woo! 688 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,960 Nothing to do with Indians. You don't know what I'm talking about. 689 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,200 - A cowboy, weren't he? - You've never seen the film, have you? 690 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,200 - Where are we going? - In to see Mum. 691 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,759 Listen, it's... 692 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,520 - I'm just feeling a bit anx-anxious. - Oh, please, Vinnie. 693 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:28,040 - It's really late, though. - I know. Just two... Just two minutes. 694 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,080 She'll be so made up. Please? 695 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,640 - Yeah. Yeah. - Is that all right? 696 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,599 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 697 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,100 Mum? Mum! 698 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:39,680 Got a surprise for you. 699 00:36:40,545 --> 00:36:42,545 Brought you a visitor. 700 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:44,800 Why did you have to say it like that? 701 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:47,200 - Like what? - You just said, 'Brought you... 702 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,079 Well, I have. 703 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,820 Like you're gonna feed her or summat. 704 00:36:50,572 --> 00:36:52,572 What's in here, dude? 705 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,280 Hiya, Mum. 706 00:36:56,660 --> 00:36:58,660 How are you doing? 707 00:37:02,660 --> 00:37:04,660 Did you manage to get any sleep? 708 00:37:08,660 --> 00:37:10,340 Who's this? 709 00:37:10,380 --> 00:37:11,500 Oh. 710 00:37:12,020 --> 00:37:14,020 This is Vinnie, Mum. 711 00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:15,680 He's a friend of mine. 712 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,860 He wanted to come and say hello to you. 713 00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:21,460 That's nice. 714 00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:24,660 And have you asked Vinnie what we ask visitors? 715 00:37:25,184 --> 00:37:27,024 Oh, yeah. 716 00:37:28,513 --> 00:37:30,993 Would you like some tea, love? 717 00:37:31,620 --> 00:37:33,160 No. 718 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,160 I'm all right, thanks, Giddy. 719 00:37:35,495 --> 00:37:38,055 Go and make us a pot, Giddy, love. 720 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,400 OK. 721 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,720 He doesn't really have friends, you know. 722 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,960 He's a bit too... 723 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,740 unique for most folk. 724 00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,060 Thems with small minds. 725 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,160 He's vulnerable. 726 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,660 Easy picking for the wrong sort to take advantage of. 727 00:38:05,060 --> 00:38:07,060 I wouldn't do that. 728 00:38:20,369 --> 00:38:22,820 You know why you're here, Vinnie? 729 00:38:25,523 --> 00:38:29,940 He's trying to show me I don't have to worry about him. 730 00:38:29,980 --> 00:38:31,820 Mm. 731 00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:33,000 But I do. 732 00:38:33,460 --> 00:38:36,900 I'm a mum. That's what we do. 733 00:38:37,580 --> 00:38:40,162 Boys need their mums. 734 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:42,240 - Isn't that right? - Mm. 735 00:38:44,550 --> 00:38:47,030 Can you be a good friend, Vinnie? 736 00:38:48,175 --> 00:38:50,175 He's going to need a friend. 737 00:38:51,597 --> 00:38:53,597 I'll be his friend. 738 00:38:58,764 --> 00:39:00,764 You're tired. 739 00:39:02,172 --> 00:39:04,172 - Aren't you? - Yeah. 740 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,920 Yeah, I am a bit. Yeah, I've been up all night. 741 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,040 No. 742 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,100 It's not just tonight, though, is it, lovey? 743 00:39:15,755 --> 00:39:17,580 You're worn out. 744 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:24,360 You've been brave long enough, you don't need to keep it up. 745 00:39:28,580 --> 00:39:31,000 Sssh. 746 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,360 - I'm sorry. - Come here. Come here. 747 00:39:36,090 --> 00:39:38,090 You're just tired. 748 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,520 There's a lad. 749 00:39:46,124 --> 00:39:48,364 You'll be all right. 750 00:39:50,334 --> 00:39:54,654 ♪ Life is but a dream ♪ 751 00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:58,494 ♪ It's what you make it ♪ 752 00:39:58,534 --> 00:40:02,534 ♪ Always try to give... ♪ 753 00:40:12,945 --> 00:40:14,545 Fuck me! 754 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,960 Fucking hell. Hey, up. 755 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,040 Morning, dude. Just got up, have you? 756 00:40:18,064 --> 00:40:19,640 Yeah, yeah. 757 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,880 - Morning. - Afternoon, mate. 758 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,640 You've been out for the count. 759 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,160 - How's it going, then? - I have no idea. 760 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,920 I've just had the maddest night. 761 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,240 - This old woman touched me. - Me, too. 762 00:40:30,240 --> 00:40:31,934 I got groped by an old one, too. 763 00:40:31,958 --> 00:40:34,720 Jesus fucking Christ. It's the last time I'm saying it. 764 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:36,120 Right? It is business. 765 00:40:36,144 --> 00:40:39,415 There's people who would pay good money for that shit. 766 00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,200 You all right, you? 767 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:45,200 I didn't know it was physically possible 768 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:48,960 for a human being to poo that much. 769 00:40:50,175 --> 00:40:51,975 You sleep all right, Vin? 770 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,600 Oh, Christ, yeah. 771 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,309 I did, all right. I've been having these mental dreams. 772 00:40:56,334 --> 00:40:58,840 Oh, I had a mad dream the other night. 773 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,320 I wanted to go to America, yeah, but I mean they wouldn't let me in. 774 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,440 So, I got into a cardboard box and then I posted myself. 775 00:41:05,479 --> 00:41:08,479 But then I realised I forgot to wee before I got in. 776 00:41:08,504 --> 00:41:10,281 Could be worse, couldn't ya? 777 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,720 You could have been trapped in there with Cardi's missus! 778 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:16,394 That's too far. You're bang out of order. Fucking hell. 779 00:41:16,419 --> 00:41:19,840 Imagine that, eh, trapped in a box, in the pitch black, 780 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:21,960 with Carol and her explosive anus! 781 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:23,880 I'm fucking warning you. 782 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,200 Cardi, Cardi, it's like a chocolate fountain in here! 783 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,880 It's like Cadbury's World! 784 00:41:30,636 --> 00:41:34,316 - No, no, it's not funny. - Come on, Tommo, go on, apologise. 785 00:41:34,356 --> 00:41:35,480 You're upsetting him. 786 00:41:35,504 --> 00:41:37,504 You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 787 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,120 I'm sorry that you made your bird shit herself. 788 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,640 I fucking warned you, didn't I! 789 00:42:55,224 --> 00:42:57,464 We've got a shitload of weed to get rid of here. 790 00:42:57,504 --> 00:43:00,024 I invested. Now I need a return. 791 00:43:00,064 --> 00:43:01,624 - A festival? - A festival. 792 00:43:01,664 --> 00:43:03,704 Would anybody like a disco biscuit?' 793 00:43:04,784 --> 00:43:06,784 Fuck off! 794 00:43:06,824 --> 00:43:09,255 - Is it a yes or a no? - Right, get going. 795 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,264 - But, whatever you do, don't hang about. - Shit. 796 00:43:15,104 --> 00:43:18,360 - Your pig is a cunt! - Your pig is a cunt! 58179

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