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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:07,720 Very clever... 2 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,800 Right, who's responsible?! 3 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,000 O'Neill, sir. 4 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,120 - Vincent? - Nothing to do with me, sir. 5 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,320 Oh, really? So, Carl's lying, is he? 6 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,360 Yeah, he's lying. 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,280 And he better take it back, cos that's thingy... liable. 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,040 - Slander. - Slander. 9 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,320 Come up here! 10 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,680 Show me your hands... 11 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,440 - What? - HANDS! 12 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,040 - I can explain... - Caught red-handed. 13 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,000 You're a liar, O'Neill, and liars need to be punished. 14 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,920 Here we go... 15 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,520 Say sorry to Humfrey. 16 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,440 Thing is, Mr Bates, he's essentially a trainer. 17 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,480 Yes... 18 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,520 And if he doesn't get an apology, he gets TREMENDOUSLY ANGRY! 19 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,200 All right, I'm sorry! To Humfrey! 20 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,560 Sorry... trainer. 21 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,000 - Say his name! - I'm not saying his name! 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000 - Does he have to say his name? - Yes! 23 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,040 Thanks, dickheads! 24 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,320 - Say it, O'Neill! - Shut up, you dog-bumming twat! 25 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,920 - Say sorry to the shoe! - I'm not apologising to footwear! 26 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,360 Sorry to the shoe, sorry to the shoe! 27 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,040 Sorry to the shoe! 28 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,440 Sorry to the shoe! 29 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,280 ♪ The best things in life are free ♪ 30 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:23,480 You're a thief, O'Neill, always were and always will be! 31 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,880 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 32 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,000 ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 33 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,200 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 34 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,240 Sorry, shoe... 35 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,760 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 36 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,360 ♪ That's what I want... ♪ 37 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,720 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 38 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,360 Aren't you practically Terence's bitch now, though, 39 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,480 you doing all the work, while he takes all the profit. 40 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,400 No, I am not Terence's bitch. 41 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,160 He's a fucking ENT-repreneur. 42 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,000 Yeah, ent... entrepreneur. 43 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,520 Entrepreneur, investing in our start-up company. 44 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,440 Which means better facilities, 45 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,480 better weed... 46 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,680 Fucking hell, we're moving up a league here. 47 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:56,720 Hang on, sweetheart. 48 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,760 Don't get me wrong, 49 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,760 it's great we're Terence's top supplier, 50 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,040 but I'm a businessman now, 51 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,080 and businessmen have responsibilities. 52 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,200 Like fucking what? 53 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,855 Like sorting out this place. Look at it. 54 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,320 There's spliff butts in every crevice, 55 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,640 used condom in the hand-drier, 56 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,840 some idiot's been cold-lunching by the fire exit. 57 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,640 - You Hawley's Larry Flynt or something? - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey... 58 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,640 Dickhead, I'm doing this for us. 59 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,920 I mean, fair do's, I might be managing director, 60 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,040 but we're all stakeholders, yeah, 61 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,080 and its success relies on our shared efforts. 62 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,120 Which is why... 63 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,480 I was hoping you might come somewhere with me. 64 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,320 Come somewhere with yer? Like where? 65 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,240 Little, uh, trip out. 66 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,240 Like where? 67 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,440 I'm planning a room in the back, 68 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,480 for, you know... specialist clients. 69 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,160 A blue room, if you will. 70 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,440 And I've got this vision in my mind. 71 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,560 I want it kitted out in a very particular way. 72 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,160 Who's gonna want to eat their dinner off that? 73 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,200 They're perfect. 74 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,432 Look at the detail. 75 00:02:53,432 --> 00:02:55,912 Little willy sculptures all across the top of it. 76 00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:56,952 Hmm. 77 00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:00,032 Hey, I tell who'd like these, you know... 78 00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:02,032 Fucking McCann. Oi! Eyes off, sunshine! 79 00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:03,232 Use your bloody head. 80 00:03:03,272 --> 00:03:05,912 He loves a pervy antique. It'll keep him sweet, won't it. 81 00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:09,289 All right, how's about you take these drawers. 82 00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,752 There's fuck all erotic about 'em, dude. 83 00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:13,792 Check out the side. 84 00:03:15,114 --> 00:03:16,114 Christ... 85 00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:17,139 Look... 86 00:03:18,617 --> 00:03:20,266 Big snizz on it. 87 00:03:21,272 --> 00:03:23,152 That is... that's pornographic, that. 88 00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:24,192 That's disgusting. 89 00:03:24,232 --> 00:03:25,392 Hey, hey, hey... 90 00:03:25,432 --> 00:03:26,992 It's a thing of beauty, that is. 91 00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:29,192 It's a work of art, the female twat. 92 00:03:29,232 --> 00:03:31,472 You help me with the rest. The drawers are yours. 93 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,512 All right... So, when they shifting 'em? 94 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:38,232 The museum can't afford expensive storage arrangements, 95 00:03:38,272 --> 00:03:41,272 so I'm reliably informed they're sticking them in non-descript boxes 96 00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:44,300 and whacking 'em in shipping containers in the staff car park. 97 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,227 - With no security? - They've got security. 98 00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:49,192 CCTV, guard with a dog... 99 00:03:49,232 --> 00:03:51,712 - What kind of dog? - A fucking labradoodle! 100 00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:53,048 What'd you mean, what kind of fucking dog? 101 00:03:53,048 --> 00:03:56,477 If it's a fucking Rottweiler, they're trained to grab by the throat. 102 00:03:56,477 --> 00:03:57,406 We'll bring some dog food. 103 00:03:57,406 --> 00:04:00,239 There's a thing you can get, a dart gun, tranquiliser. 104 00:04:00,263 --> 00:04:01,391 Yes, exactly. 105 00:04:01,392 --> 00:04:03,472 Shoot that up its arse and we're good to go. 106 00:04:03,512 --> 00:04:05,592 Right... you know what I'm gonna ask. 107 00:04:05,632 --> 00:04:06,632 Is this worth it? 108 00:04:06,672 --> 00:04:09,312 All of this trouble for some weird crap for his perv room? 109 00:04:09,352 --> 00:04:12,152 Have a bit of vision, for once in your fucking life, mate. 110 00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:14,432 We could be the next Hustler Club, yeah. 111 00:04:14,472 --> 00:04:18,346 And it's the class and attention to detail that's gonna get us there. 112 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,312 - Vinnie? - I'm up for it. 113 00:04:20,352 --> 00:04:22,240 Anything that doesn't involve being in disguise 114 00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:23,920 or in fear for my fucking life. 115 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,152 - Grand, yeah. - Count me out. 116 00:04:26,192 --> 00:04:28,432 - Yeah... me, too. - Just the three of us, then. 117 00:04:28,472 --> 00:04:32,193 The Three Musketeers, all for one and one for fucking all. 118 00:04:34,832 --> 00:04:36,072 Where's Cardi? 119 00:04:36,112 --> 00:04:37,112 Cardi! 120 00:04:37,872 --> 00:04:38,872 Car... 121 00:04:39,952 --> 00:04:41,526 - Hello. - Hello. 122 00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:43,636 What's all that shit on your face? 123 00:04:43,636 --> 00:04:44,809 - Have you been tanning? - No. 124 00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:46,591 - Yeah, you have... - Oi, oi. 125 00:04:46,592 --> 00:04:48,992 What's he wearing? What's this man got on? 126 00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,952 You know when you've been tangoed. 127 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,792 Right, come on... do some explaining. 128 00:04:53,832 --> 00:04:56,312 I'm just busy, all right. 129 00:04:56,352 --> 00:04:58,512 I'm not always av-ailable, you know. 130 00:04:58,552 --> 00:05:00,505 Sometimes I do have other things going on in my life. 131 00:05:00,505 --> 00:05:01,625 Yeah? Like what? 132 00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:04,112 Cardi... Cardi, come on. Come on. 133 00:05:04,152 --> 00:05:05,392 Have to do a second coat... 134 00:05:05,432 --> 00:05:06,592 Oh, how are you, Vinnie? 135 00:05:06,632 --> 00:05:08,352 She does this with all the fellas. 136 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:11,032 We're having a spa day at home today, aren't we, Cardi... 137 00:05:11,072 --> 00:05:12,232 Uh, well, it's, um... 138 00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:13,832 Oh, it's all going on today. 139 00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:16,032 Jacuzzi, massage, facials... 140 00:05:16,072 --> 00:05:19,072 Might even do a cucumber body wrap later, if we've the time. 141 00:05:19,112 --> 00:05:20,592 Oh, cucumber body wrap? 142 00:05:20,632 --> 00:05:22,712 Right, well, listen... Have a lovely time. 143 00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:25,352 Uh... what are you doing? 144 00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,472 Go back to your tanning, you. You're patchy. 145 00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:29,752 Have a good time! Oh, we will! 146 00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,592 How much do you want for your tooth? 147 00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:33,992 Thirty pounds. 148 00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:35,592 Thirty bloody quid? 149 00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:37,352 You can have a fiver if I can touch it. 150 00:05:37,392 --> 00:05:38,552 Gross... 151 00:05:40,112 --> 00:05:41,992 - There you go. - Thanks. 152 00:05:42,672 --> 00:05:43,752 Good to have you back. 153 00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:45,642 Yeah, it's good to be back. 154 00:05:46,432 --> 00:05:48,392 Thanks for bringing him to come and see me, 155 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,832 when I was stuck in that hole. 156 00:05:50,312 --> 00:05:51,792 That little face kept me going. 157 00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:54,552 Why don't you go and play upstairs for a bit? 158 00:05:54,592 --> 00:05:55,922 Go on. Bog off. 159 00:05:57,992 --> 00:06:00,013 - We were worried about you. - Hmm... 160 00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:03,032 I've been worried about me. 161 00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:06,265 I had some dark days. 162 00:06:09,632 --> 00:06:10,632 But him... 163 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,749 I really love that boy. 164 00:06:16,352 --> 00:06:17,352 I know. 165 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,632 Right... 166 00:06:22,672 --> 00:06:24,752 Gotta go to Jake's bloody dinner party now. 167 00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:27,272 - See you later. - See you. 168 00:06:27,312 --> 00:06:30,032 Right, Sugar should be back, OK. She'll put him to bed. 169 00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:31,792 - OK. - All right, bye, baby. 170 00:06:31,832 --> 00:06:33,232 - Love you. - Love you. 171 00:06:33,272 --> 00:06:34,621 Enjoy your time. 172 00:06:34,992 --> 00:06:37,883 Aww, bloody snuggles, eh? 173 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,064 What film do you wanna watch? 174 00:06:40,272 --> 00:06:41,352 Hey, Vin. 175 00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:42,871 What can I do you for? 176 00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:44,737 I don't know, man... 177 00:06:45,916 --> 00:06:47,542 Do you ever wish... 178 00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:52,872 ...you could just, you could just tell people things. 179 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:53,912 You know... 180 00:06:54,312 --> 00:06:56,792 If things were just different, you could tell 'em... 181 00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:02,312 ...and they'd be happy, and you'd be happy. 182 00:07:04,192 --> 00:07:05,672 No... Fuck... 183 00:07:06,472 --> 00:07:09,032 - Do you know what I mean? - I know exactly what you mean. 184 00:07:09,072 --> 00:07:10,478 - Yeah? - Yeah. 185 00:07:10,503 --> 00:07:12,592 I'm seeing this new woman, Casandra. 186 00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:13,952 Total fitness freak. 187 00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:18,013 It's all organic wheatgrass and tantric vaginal Pilates. 188 00:07:18,013 --> 00:07:20,552 Look what she's got me wearing. Look at it. 189 00:07:20,592 --> 00:07:22,472 - What's that? - Detox patch. 190 00:07:22,512 --> 00:07:25,392 - She says it realigns my chi. - Right. 191 00:07:25,432 --> 00:07:27,912 But I'm hooked, Vin. I'm obsessed with her. 192 00:07:27,952 --> 00:07:30,352 I'm ABSOLUTELY obsessed with her. 193 00:07:30,392 --> 00:07:32,712 She's like fragrant Viagra. 194 00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,632 - All right... - The sex is amazing... 195 00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,072 I'm happy... I'm happy for you. Fucking nice knees. 196 00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:40,112 Amazing... AMAZING. 197 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,312 But the intercourse, Vincent... 198 00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:43,352 Oh, my God! 199 00:07:43,392 --> 00:07:44,792 God, I wish you could just... 200 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,312 I wish you could experience... 201 00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:49,432 I wish you could take a day, step inside my body, 202 00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:51,192 take control of my chopper and... 203 00:07:52,032 --> 00:07:53,752 - Just profound... - Chris... 204 00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:55,952 - Stop, STOP! - Sensational! 205 00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:56,674 Chris, stop! 206 00:07:56,674 --> 00:07:57,792 Shut the fuck... 207 00:07:57,792 --> 00:07:58,822 You've gone too far again! 208 00:07:58,822 --> 00:08:01,912 Why the fuck would I wanna be your dick for a day? 209 00:08:01,952 --> 00:08:04,512 You hijack these fucking sessions every time. 210 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,648 Talking about fucking sheilas... 211 00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:09,712 ...sloppy blow jobs or whatever. 212 00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:12,152 - All right. Quite right. - Let's reverse these roles. 213 00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,192 You're the doctor, I'm the patient. 214 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,791 Do you know what I mean? 215 00:08:15,952 --> 00:08:18,069 - Sorry. - It's all right. 216 00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:20,072 Sorry, Vin. 217 00:08:21,992 --> 00:08:22,992 Sorry. 218 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,752 So, how are you? 219 00:08:29,261 --> 00:08:30,261 I miss my kid. 220 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,541 Well, it's not my kid. It's the mother of my kid. 221 00:08:33,661 --> 00:08:35,141 She's amazing. 222 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,341 I just I wasn't such a... 223 00:08:37,381 --> 00:08:38,781 What is wrong... Oi. 224 00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:40,340 What? 225 00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,699 Just tell me about your tantric minge sex, then. 226 00:08:42,699 --> 00:08:45,001 No. Go on. Carry on. I was listening. 227 00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:47,341 - What are you looking at? - Nothing. 228 00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:49,063 You were looking at your fucking screen. 229 00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:50,774 - What you looking at? - Nothing on it. 230 00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:53,301 Nothing here. There's no need to... 231 00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:55,544 - There! There! There! - There's nothing on it! 232 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,358 Motherfucker! 233 00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:02,866 I don't know why I let you talk me into these things. 234 00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:04,701 Cos you love it, that's why. 235 00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:08,246 - Do we all know what we're doing? - Yeah... Sound. 236 00:09:12,815 --> 00:09:14,730 Oh, fucking hell, dude... 237 00:09:16,615 --> 00:09:18,255 Nearly took my fucking hand off. 238 00:09:18,895 --> 00:09:21,455 You great knobhead, what are you doing wearing that? 239 00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:22,655 Reverse psychology. 240 00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,095 Ah, I've always wanted to use one of these, lads. 241 00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:26,855 Where the fuck did you get that from? 242 00:09:26,895 --> 00:09:28,253 - Kitty Mclean. - Cat burglar? 243 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,334 That's him, yeah. 244 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:30,735 He got a job lot one Christmas. 245 00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:32,575 He only charged me a tenner for that. 246 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,455 Argh! 247 00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,175 Fuck's sake! 248 00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:42,375 Quiet, dude! 249 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,215 Jesus! Quiet? You've fucking gashed my head open! 250 00:09:46,255 --> 00:09:48,655 - It didn't clasp. - Maybe that's why it were a tenner. 251 00:09:48,695 --> 00:09:49,953 Here, let me have a look. 252 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,575 There's fuck all there, man. 253 00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:55,399 - Are you sure? - Shut the fuck up. 254 00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:04,455 ♪ Oh, the sun-drenched French girls won't relate ♪ 255 00:10:04,495 --> 00:10:08,135 ♪ To a frozen glare from the Northern State ♪ 256 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,135 ♪ Dreamin' of fat, happy babies ♪ 257 00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,735 ♪ Kickin' ladies on the Metro now ♪ 258 00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:16,575 ♪ Woo ♪ 259 00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:19,466 - Have you got the tranquiliser gun? - I have it here. 260 00:10:20,175 --> 00:10:22,507 - Where do you shoot it? - In the arse. 261 00:10:22,615 --> 00:10:23,855 All right, now listen... 262 00:10:23,895 --> 00:10:26,207 For fuck sake, don't miss. Last thing we need is an angry dog. 263 00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:27,987 - I won't. - All right... 264 00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:31,975 Fuck me... 265 00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:37,095 Shit... 266 00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,775 Vin... What? Look. 267 00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,815 Who the fuck are they? 268 00:10:44,575 --> 00:10:46,655 ♪ I used to think life's a bitter pill ♪ 269 00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:52,135 ♪ But it's a grand old time ♪ 270 00:10:58,855 --> 00:11:02,175 Jake tells me you're running a local wine bar alongside your studies. 271 00:11:02,215 --> 00:11:03,215 Impressive. 272 00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:05,255 Well, I wouldn't call it a wine bar... 273 00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:07,455 - It's an evening drinkery. - Great. 274 00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:09,695 We must come down. 275 00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,695 Charlton and I love an excuse to get out and about. 276 00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:14,295 Yeah, that'd be great. 277 00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:15,415 What's it called? 278 00:11:16,255 --> 00:11:18,255 - It's called The Rat and... - Ratatouille. 279 00:11:18,935 --> 00:11:21,255 - Right. Fantastic. - Mmm. 280 00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:23,855 Amazing cocktails. 281 00:11:23,895 --> 00:11:25,615 Mum loves a cocktail, don't you... 282 00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:30,368 Death in the Afternoon. It's what Hemingway used to drink. 283 00:11:40,815 --> 00:11:41,975 Motherfuckers... 284 00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,655 - Who the fuck are they?! - No idea. 285 00:11:44,695 --> 00:11:47,015 Who told you about the gear being kept here? 286 00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:48,994 You remember Sheridan, my sister's chiropodist? 287 00:11:49,019 --> 00:11:51,775 - No. - Yeah, you do. Big lass, grey hair. 288 00:11:51,815 --> 00:11:53,055 Shiny forehead. 289 00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:56,415 Anyway, her cousin Rellaine, like Brelaine... 290 00:11:56,455 --> 00:11:57,104 Who's Rellaine? 291 00:11:57,104 --> 00:11:58,739 You met her, but you were off your face. 292 00:11:58,739 --> 00:11:59,617 Good night, that, won't it. 293 00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:02,229 Anyway, she's going out with Ian. Remember Ian? 294 00:12:02,229 --> 00:12:03,228 I do know Ian. 295 00:12:03,228 --> 00:12:04,855 - Massive hair. - Yeah... 296 00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,975 Fucking hell. Shut the fuck up. 297 00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:08,015 Yeah... 298 00:12:08,055 --> 00:12:09,784 It doesn't make any difference, whoever it was. 299 00:12:09,784 --> 00:12:10,672 They have blabbed, 300 00:12:10,672 --> 00:12:12,871 and now these wankers are nicking all our gear. 301 00:12:12,871 --> 00:12:14,483 - Shall we just bail? - And let them have it? 302 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,575 - What's the option? - They're fucking armed. 303 00:12:17,615 --> 00:12:19,301 - Fucking armed, JJ? - Yes! Armed! 304 00:12:19,326 --> 00:12:21,278 Are we seriously gonna get ourselves killed 305 00:12:21,302 --> 00:12:22,996 - for some chairs with dicks on? - No! 306 00:12:22,996 --> 00:12:25,455 Hey, hey, hey... erotic curiosities. 307 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,495 All right? 308 00:12:26,535 --> 00:12:28,059 If I wanted a chair with dicks on, I'd speak to your barber. 309 00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:31,059 Why you always dissing my barber? Can you tell him please... Oi... 310 00:12:31,059 --> 00:12:32,659 Listen to me. 311 00:12:33,058 --> 00:12:34,733 We're professional thieves. 312 00:12:34,895 --> 00:12:37,874 Ashley, we're professional thieves. 313 00:12:38,295 --> 00:12:41,295 We can't have people turning up before us, just nicking our shit. 314 00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,495 You know what I mean? 315 00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:46,142 Let's get back in the van. 316 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,735 All right, they're coming. Get down. 317 00:12:49,775 --> 00:12:52,015 Fuck's sake... Christ. 318 00:12:52,055 --> 00:12:54,055 Why did you duck in my direction? 319 00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:55,333 Same fucking spot, are you kidding me? 320 00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:56,385 Right, come on, follow 'em. 321 00:12:56,385 --> 00:12:59,610 Yeah, that's it, fucking nine-point turn, Ashley. 322 00:12:59,635 --> 00:13:02,595 You sexy idiot, what are you doing?! You fucking big fat hand... 323 00:13:02,635 --> 00:13:04,035 Moron... 324 00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:08,875 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling ♪ 325 00:13:08,915 --> 00:13:11,915 ♪ How can I make you understand? ♪ 326 00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:13,510 What's going on? Why are we slowing down? 327 00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:15,910 Why the fuck are we slowing... What are you doing?! 328 00:13:17,016 --> 00:13:18,016 It's a red light. 329 00:13:18,056 --> 00:13:20,456 Never mind red light! We're gonna fucking lose 'em! 330 00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:21,238 We're not gonna lose them. 331 00:13:21,238 --> 00:13:22,837 They've gone straight ahead in a massive green van... 332 00:13:22,837 --> 00:13:26,237 We're in a covert criminal pursuit and you're obeying the Highway Code! 333 00:13:26,277 --> 00:13:29,120 - It'll be a few seconds. - Fuck, dude. 334 00:13:32,214 --> 00:13:34,295 - Taking a while, aren't they... - Go through the red light! 335 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,880 The road's completely deserted! 336 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:36,920 Fine... Green. 337 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,538 Oh, nice one, you bellend! 338 00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,042 That's you stressing me out! 339 00:13:40,042 --> 00:13:42,447 - I'm fucking stressing you out? - Constantly on at me! 340 00:13:42,471 --> 00:13:43,769 START THE VAN! 341 00:13:43,794 --> 00:13:46,160 - I'm starting the fucking van! - Swap seats... 342 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,920 - Fucking go! - They've gone red again! 343 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,040 You're jiggling... 344 00:13:49,647 --> 00:13:52,520 ♪ Before loneliness will break my heart ♪ 345 00:13:52,545 --> 00:13:55,495 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling ♪ 346 00:13:55,745 --> 00:13:58,439 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling... ♪ 347 00:13:58,785 --> 00:14:01,316 ♪ Send me a postcard, darling... ♪ 348 00:14:01,571 --> 00:14:02,680 Right, now, listen. 349 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,675 The element of surprise is our best friend here. 350 00:14:04,675 --> 00:14:08,208 They're not gonna be expecting us turning up, nicking their gear, so... 351 00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,185 Stealth. 352 00:14:12,505 --> 00:14:13,665 Ashley! 353 00:14:13,705 --> 00:14:15,025 Oh, shit! 354 00:14:15,505 --> 00:14:17,385 Right, I'll take left, you take right. 355 00:14:23,585 --> 00:14:24,585 You shit... 356 00:14:26,705 --> 00:14:28,665 I can't see! 357 00:14:28,705 --> 00:14:31,105 Ow! My eyes! 358 00:14:38,305 --> 00:14:39,385 It's me, you daft... 359 00:14:40,265 --> 00:14:41,985 - How many fingers... - One. 360 00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,665 Brilliant. That'll do. In the van. 361 00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,025 Get in in the fucking van... 362 00:14:48,945 --> 00:14:50,185 Get in, JJ! 363 00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:53,385 Wait! Hey! 364 00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:57,783 That's not fucking JJ! 365 00:14:58,654 --> 00:14:59,562 JJ?! 366 00:14:59,562 --> 00:15:01,025 Go, go, go... 367 00:15:01,065 --> 00:15:02,865 I'll get the other van! 368 00:15:27,807 --> 00:15:28,807 Hi, Erin. 369 00:15:29,727 --> 00:15:30,727 Hi... 370 00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:34,456 - Arr-on? - It's, uh... it's Aaron. 371 00:15:34,481 --> 00:15:36,401 Like, air-on. 372 00:15:37,681 --> 00:15:39,863 - Anyway, I... - Can I show you something? 373 00:15:41,681 --> 00:15:43,862 - Uh... yeah, OK. Where? - Just... 374 00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:45,076 - Through? - Yeah. 375 00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:52,481 It's our old playroom, me and Jake. 376 00:15:53,603 --> 00:15:56,681 Spent a lot of time in here as kids. 377 00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,161 Brothers, you know... 378 00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:01,601 - Very competitive with each other. - I bet. 379 00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:05,641 - You got a sibling? - Uh, yeah. I've got a brother. 380 00:16:05,681 --> 00:16:07,560 A bit of a moron. 381 00:16:08,121 --> 00:16:10,201 Me and Jake were SO competitive. 382 00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:14,194 But, um... 383 00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:16,995 You wanna know something? 384 00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:18,961 Yeah... 385 00:16:20,561 --> 00:16:21,641 I'm better than him. 386 00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,801 - Right... - At everything, Erin. 387 00:16:29,361 --> 00:16:31,761 I'm a stallion. He's a gelding. 388 00:16:33,739 --> 00:16:35,560 And I've had that confirmed. 389 00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:38,320 So you know... 390 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:44,795 Word. 391 00:16:48,187 --> 00:16:49,187 Look in there. 392 00:16:51,086 --> 00:16:53,240 They haven't even fucking nicked everything! 393 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,000 Yeah... but they took the drawers, though. 394 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,200 Where's the chairs? 395 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,680 Mate? Eh? 396 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,400 Where's the fucking chaise longue? Your fault, this is! 397 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,840 - My fault? - Yes! Your fault! 398 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,200 Follow 'em, he says. 399 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,480 Yeah, cos I thought they were gonna take it all! 400 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,160 What the fuck were I supposed to do, dude? 401 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,440 Hang on till they'd gone, take whatever they didn't want? 402 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,640 Bollocks! 403 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,560 This is a cock-up, this. I'm having them drawers. 404 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,640 Like fuck you're having them. Them's for McCann. 405 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,876 Why do you want drawers in your pervy sex room, anyway? 406 00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:22,446 - What you gonna fucking keep in 'em? - Lots of things, actually, mate. 407 00:17:22,471 --> 00:17:23,622 Lube... 408 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,320 Do you know what, just fucking have 'em! 409 00:17:32,022 --> 00:17:34,117 Right, I'm off. I've got a headache, yeah? 410 00:17:34,142 --> 00:17:37,440 Cos this bellend here dropped a ship's anchor on my bonnet... 411 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,600 - Don't storm off. - No, mate... Took it too far. 412 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:40,640 Don't storm... 413 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,840 What the fuck are you laughing at? 414 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,080 Your eyes are fucked, dude. 415 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,800 Get in the van. 416 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,760 - I don't need that shit, Jake. - I know... 417 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,120 - Do you know what I mean? - It's just Aaron. 418 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,040 He... He's got a weird sense of humour. 419 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,400 Yeah, it's fucking weird. 420 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,871 I'll talk with him. 421 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,920 Look, go back in... 422 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,160 ...have a drink. 423 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,200 Please. 424 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,840 - OK... - Thank you. 425 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,120 Do you, um... Do you like 'em? 426 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,540 Where'd you get 'em? 427 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,120 Fell into my possession. 428 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,640 - Where? - The museum. 429 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,840 Someone robbed the museum, so we robbed them. 430 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:25,880 Stolen items... 431 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,720 There's gonna be a whole shitshow, Vin. 432 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,175 This is Regency, 1800s. 433 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,208 Right... 434 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,720 - Shall I... Shall I give 'em back? - Give 'em back? 435 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,720 No, you will not fucking give 'em back. 436 00:18:39,109 --> 00:18:41,640 This is a very nice piece of furniture. 437 00:18:41,664 --> 00:18:42,910 Huh... 438 00:18:42,911 --> 00:18:44,471 But it can't come in the house. 439 00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:46,360 I know a man who can look after it for me. 440 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,480 I'll give him a call in the morning. 441 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,120 - Can you hang on to it until tomorrow? - Yeah, course, yeah. 442 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,760 Good lad. Now get the fuck out of here. 443 00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,880 What the fuck's this? 444 00:19:12,328 --> 00:19:14,568 Sometimes there's SO MUCH snow, like last year. 445 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,364 So much snow, they had to close the slopes... 446 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,163 Am I all right to get some water? 447 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,280 - Two minutes. - Thank you. 448 00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:22,255 ♪ Another day ♪ 449 00:19:22,985 --> 00:19:24,385 ♪ Oh, what a wonder ♪ 450 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,240 ♪ Oh, what a waste ♪ 451 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,480 ♪ It's a Monday ♪ 452 00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:30,602 ♪ It's so mundane ♪ 453 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,240 ♪ What exciting things will happen today? ♪ 454 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,040 ♪ All of a sudden ♪ 455 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,280 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪ 456 00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:44,013 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪ 457 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,840 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪ 458 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,920 All right, this is Dylan. 459 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,800 Leave a message, unless you're Vinnie. 460 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,560 ♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪ 461 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,200 - Oh, fuck! - I'm armed! 462 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,920 It's fucking me, you knobhead! 463 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,200 There's five of us in here! 464 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,120 Oh, yeah, and two... two dogs! 465 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,960 So, whoever you are, you're outnumbered! 466 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,160 It's me! 467 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,040 I know my rights! 468 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,360 Oh, fuck! 469 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,680 I can blow your brains out and no judge in the land'll convict me! 470 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,760 It's fucking... It's Vinnie! 471 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,040 Put the fucking gun down! 472 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,480 - Vinnie? - Yeah! 473 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,080 Oh, what you doing? 474 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,557 I thought you were an immigrant! 475 00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:45,119 Why the fuck would I be immigrants? 476 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,320 What do you want? 477 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,000 I thought you were going back to your shack. 478 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,640 Yeah, I know, but... 479 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,760 It's not a bed and breakfast, Vin. 480 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,880 I'm not Airbnb. 481 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,000 I mean, I didn't mind when your dick was on the line, 482 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,300 but you're just taking the piss now. 483 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,380 I know, but fuck... I need a favour. 484 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,960 Come on! 485 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,440 Now, be careful! Don't rip the wallpaper! 486 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,320 Are you fucking serious? 487 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,080 Did you wipe your feet, coming in? 488 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,040 - Your carpets are so fucked up, dude. - That's vintage, that carpet. 489 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,520 And don't scratch the paintwork. 490 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,160 Don't scratch the edge, dude. 491 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,320 - Where are we putting it? - In the guest room. 492 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,000 - What fucking guests do you have? - Hey, I have guests! 493 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,560 - Like who? - Like fucking... People of note! 494 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,360 People you wouldn't even never have heard of! 495 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,200 Honestly, four months I've been in that weed shed, 496 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,120 you've had a fucking guest room this entire time... 497 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,600 - Stop fucking moaning. - Unbelievable. 498 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,320 Fucking... Jesus Christ... 499 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,575 - What? - It's a bit patriotic, in't it? 500 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,040 All my own work. 501 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,480 I got someone in for that. 502 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,600 An Englishman's home is his castle. 503 00:21:48,327 --> 00:21:51,840 Sing the national anthem and I'll let you stay the night. 504 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,280 Christ... 505 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,040 It's like AirBNP. 506 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,080 Knobhead... 507 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,600 Oh! 508 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,320 - I hope she isn't pretty. - Why? 509 00:22:33,865 --> 00:22:35,780 Because. For you. 510 00:22:36,082 --> 00:22:39,042 What's better, he's going out with an absolute minger? 511 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:43,880 - Hiya... - Hi. 512 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,160 Pretend not to look, but I think I'm being followed. 513 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,520 Followed? 514 00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:55,960 By your ex? Or... by secret police? 515 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,480 Uh... by stalkers. 516 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,000 - Stalkers? - Mmm.Oh. 517 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:05,480 Oh, no... 518 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,680 - They're kissing. - Oh, great. 519 00:23:09,214 --> 00:23:10,800 It wasn't passionate. 520 00:23:11,579 --> 00:23:13,360 Well, have they stopped? 521 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:15,840 Hang on... 522 00:23:17,765 --> 00:23:19,480 No. Still going. 523 00:23:23,336 --> 00:23:25,320 Uh, I think... 524 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,200 I think you've made your point. 525 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,320 I haven't. 526 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,120 - Now? - Still going. 527 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:34,960 Still... 528 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,240 Oh, she is pretty... 529 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,160 Wait... Oh, no. Still. 530 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480 They've stopped. 531 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,040 Jesus... 532 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,200 - Oh, do you think they saw us? - How should I know?! 533 00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:54,120 This is fucking crazy! What am I doing? 534 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,160 He doesn't want her. 535 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,600 He's just trying to make you jealous. 536 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,240 Sugar, I got rid of his kid. I broke his heart, right... 537 00:24:02,454 --> 00:24:04,920 We're done. I need to get on with my life. 538 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,960 Come on. 539 00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:16,280 What?! 540 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:19,960 Where's Vinnie? 541 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,960 - He's in bed, why? - He's wanted. 542 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,720 So, go and get him out your bed and into my car. 543 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,300 He's not in my bed! 544 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,000 Do I look like I sleep with younger men? 545 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,200 Do I? 546 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,320 Do I look like some kind of fucking perv?! 547 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,600 Just fucking get him. 548 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,400 Inside. Now. 549 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,200 Call me suspicious, Vin, 550 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,400 but the very night you bring round some rare drawers to my house, 551 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,480 this happens... 552 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,600 Yeah, fuck, it's connected. 553 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:55,920 These are the dickheads we robbed them off. 554 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,920 - This is my home! - I know... 555 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,455 - I'm really sorry. Did they break in? - No, too much security. 556 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,455 And this clown fell over a chiminea. 557 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,600 Woke up my wife. They legged it. 558 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,240 I was just trying to do a good thing, I... 559 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,240 - Can I fix it? - How? 560 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,388 Fuck, I don't know... 561 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,372 I just can't fathom how they... 562 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,467 The jacket... 563 00:25:24,344 --> 00:25:25,344 Look... 564 00:25:26,264 --> 00:25:27,655 Fucking phone... 565 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,320 I dumped this in here last night. 566 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:30,000 They've found it, 567 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,140 assumed the drawers were in your house. 568 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,920 I'll fix it. I'm sorry. 569 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,080 Hang on, stop... 570 00:25:37,229 --> 00:25:40,180 Why would they go to all this trouble for a set of drawers? 571 00:25:43,580 --> 00:25:45,460 Why don't we ring 'em up, 572 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,000 tell 'em we've got their drawers, 573 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,400 tell them we want five hundred quid, 574 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,040 and then when they come, we jump them. 575 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,080 Find out who they are. 576 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,520 - What if they're armed? - Armed? 577 00:25:52,544 --> 00:25:54,415 What is it with you and armed at the moment? 578 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,280 This bleeding thing has a passcode on it. 579 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,584 Statistically, you're four times more likely to get stabbed 580 00:25:58,608 --> 00:25:59,760 than get cystitis. 581 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,720 - Where the fucks that? Los Cabos? - The UK, man. I'm telling you. 582 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,400 Yeah, statistically, that sounds like total nonsense. 583 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,080 Why don't we just leave the phone on at a new location 584 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,520 and see if they come again. 585 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,200 - Where are the drawers now? - Jim's farm. 586 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,960 Right, so, we go there and we wait. 587 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,160 If they see their van, they'll think they're in business, it's perfect. 588 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,440 All right, lads. 589 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,975 Oh, it's fucking getting worse. 590 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,360 She even did a makeover on Nigel. Look... 591 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,480 He smells like lavender, dude. 592 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,000 THIS is exactly why I don't get into relationships. 593 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,680 In case you get heavily made over? 594 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,720 They always try and change you, don't they. 595 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:34,760 I say to women now, 596 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,055 "This is who I am. Take it or leave it." 597 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,015 - And that doesn't put them off, no? - It does, yeah... 598 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,760 How'd you fancy a night-long stakeout in a shitty pig shed? 599 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,520 Can we have coffee and doughnuts? 600 00:26:45,544 --> 00:26:46,960 Can have as many as you want, mate. 601 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,760 - And no wheatgrass. - There will be no wheatgrass. 602 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,080 Yes... No more wheatgrass! 603 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,280 All right... 604 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:01,000 I spy with my little eye something beginning with... P. 605 00:27:01,993 --> 00:27:03,120 - P. - Pig. 606 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,920 Why would it be... We've had pig twice. 607 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:05,840 Piss-take, lads. 608 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,160 We have to sit in this cold barn 609 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,760 when there's a lovely warm farmhouse round the corner. 610 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,015 - Swill? - That's a fucking S! 611 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,615 - Pigswill? - No! 612 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,895 - Pricks! - I didn't know you were playing! 613 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,040 Who last used my indoor bog? 614 00:27:18,571 --> 00:27:20,840 - Why? - I'll tell you why. 615 00:27:21,228 --> 00:27:23,840 Cos someone's left an unsinkable. 616 00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:25,788 I'm not having it, Vin. 617 00:27:25,828 --> 00:27:29,468 It's just sitting there, rent-free, like it fucking lives there. 618 00:27:29,508 --> 00:27:32,748 - Just pump the handle! - I've pumped the fucking handle! 619 00:27:32,788 --> 00:27:34,530 Who's the perpetrator? 620 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,828 Oh, like that, is it? 621 00:27:37,868 --> 00:27:39,868 Well, fine... I've got all night. 622 00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,628 But I'll tell you this... 623 00:27:41,668 --> 00:27:45,000 No one leaves this room until the culprit's found! 624 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,320 Phf! Intense! 625 00:27:48,508 --> 00:27:49,508 Hmm... 626 00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:51,520 I thought it was gone. 627 00:27:51,944 --> 00:27:53,424 Well, it fucking hasn't! 628 00:27:53,464 --> 00:27:55,944 - What've you been eating? - Mainly protein. 629 00:27:55,984 --> 00:27:57,455 Get back in there! 630 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,360 Knife and fork! Deal with it! 631 00:28:02,113 --> 00:28:03,993 Hey, Ashley, chop, chop. 632 00:28:08,037 --> 00:28:11,640 Oi, lads... Lads, there's someone round there. 633 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,680 Oh... 634 00:28:25,489 --> 00:28:26,880 You, you bastard! 635 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,440 Stay calm! 636 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,000 Stay calm! 637 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,760 Don't panic! Stop fighting! Stop it! 638 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,080 Just settle down, man. We're not gonna hurt you. 639 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,140 We're just gonna ask you some questions, all right. 640 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,840 - Evening. - What the fuck are you doing here?! 641 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,440 Trying to find my post rammer! I know you've had it off me! 642 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,680 Have I balls! 643 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:48,000 Stainless steel, solid metal cap. I saw him admiring it. 644 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,280 He's talking crap! 645 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,480 Post rammer? I'll ram you! 646 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,120 - What? - What? 647 00:28:54,394 --> 00:28:56,440 - With my fist! - Oh... 648 00:28:57,338 --> 00:28:58,280 Fucking hell... 649 00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,560 What you all doing, anyway? 650 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,120 Sneaking around in the dark, sticking bags on heads... 651 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,960 We're expecting visitors. Thieves. 652 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,200 - Thieves? - Yeah. 653 00:29:05,224 --> 00:29:06,439 Told you they were coming, did they? 654 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,400 In a manner of speaking, they did, yeah. 655 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,280 I just passed a bunch of posh blokes 656 00:29:10,305 --> 00:29:12,429 with their car stuck in a ditch, but they didn't look like thieves. 657 00:29:12,429 --> 00:29:14,365 - Where were this? - Down the lane. 658 00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:16,000 Posh cursing, they were. 659 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,360 Looked like they needed a nice rioja... hey! 660 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,280 ♪ The hardest button to button ♪ 661 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,960 ♪ The hardest button to button ♪ 662 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,200 - Need any help, fellas? - We're fine, thank you. 663 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,600 Oh, no, no, no... We insist. 664 00:29:32,061 --> 00:29:33,061 "We"? 665 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,480 Shit! Run! 666 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:41,200 No way... 667 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,080 Mr Bates! 668 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,000 Vinnie! 669 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,600 Vincent O'Neill. You taught me History. 670 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:48,920 He taught me History, this geezer. 671 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,160 - Vincent... how's it going? - Yeah, I'm doing all right. 672 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,800 How's your dad? 673 00:29:53,824 --> 00:29:55,824 He's fucked. Still an alcoholic, in't he? 674 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,520 - How you doing? You still teaching? - Early retirement. 675 00:29:59,544 --> 00:30:00,159 Yeah? 676 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,040 I assume you've all come for the erotic drawers, have yer? 677 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,480 Why'd you want 'em? 678 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,692 Well, they're just very appealing, aren't they? 679 00:30:07,692 --> 00:30:08,479 Yeah... 680 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,814 - We're enthusiasts, aren't we, chaps? - Yeah, yeah. 681 00:30:10,839 --> 00:30:12,240 Sounds like bollocks. 682 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,760 In school, we're always taught not to lie, aren't we? 683 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,600 - You did, though. Often. - Oi, that's not the point... 684 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:18,720 We want the truth. 685 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,000 We can either do it the easy way or the hard way. 686 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,920 So, why do you want the erotic drawers? 687 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,175 It's your time you're wasting. 688 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,040 All right, fuck it. Torture 'em. 689 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,480 Everyone grab someone beige. 690 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:31,760 Wait! No, no! Get off! 691 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,800 Fill that bucket and flick his ears. 692 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:41,640 Ow! 693 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:42,760 Never mind "ow"... 694 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:43,960 Gonna go and get my cane. 695 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,400 I swear to God, I'm not gonna stop till someone cracks here. 696 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,840 You're in Guantanamo now, lads. Don't make me start on your feet. 697 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,080 That house you tried to rob belongs to Terence McCann, 698 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,640 and if you don't know who that is, let me tell you, 699 00:30:53,664 --> 00:30:55,600 you don't want him in your life. 700 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,000 You've done well for yourself, Vinnie... thief, hostage taker. 701 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,840 Maybe if you'd made your lessons a bit more interesting, 702 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,360 I'd have paid more attention. 703 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,200 Do you know what we used to call you in school? Masterbater. 704 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,120 Smelly-Belly Dog Breath. Fuck Face. 705 00:31:08,495 --> 00:31:09,575 The Drone. 706 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,680 Because of the droney way you'd harp on, man. 707 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,480 Well, Carl Slater liked my lessons, 708 00:31:13,504 --> 00:31:14,679 and he's done very well for himself. 709 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,960 Carl Slater bums dog, don't he? 710 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,360 I tell you what, 711 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,040 bell him up and tell him you've been nicking antiques. 712 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,200 Let's see how much he wants to be your pal then. 713 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,480 You becoming a thief... 714 00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:27,260 I mean, honestly, might be the most interesting thing you've ever done. 715 00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:28,540 You're middle-aged men. 716 00:31:28,580 --> 00:31:31,200 You should be home, real ale, discussing cruise holidays... 717 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,440 I don't know what you do. 718 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,880 There's a reason you've all gone to these lengths. 719 00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:36,520 And I wanna know why. 720 00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:39,180 Take their shoes off. 721 00:31:39,220 --> 00:31:41,460 No, no, no, no! OK, OK, OK! OK! 722 00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,820 We're a secret history group. 723 00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:48,980 We're all of us experts in different fields. 724 00:31:49,020 --> 00:31:52,860 And we go deep into historical research. 725 00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:55,820 We've discovered a little-known secret 726 00:31:55,860 --> 00:31:57,820 about the drawers in your possession. 727 00:31:57,875 --> 00:31:59,360 It could be apocryphal... 728 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,440 - What does that mean? - Made-up. 729 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,760 The story goes that the maker of the furniture, Emmanuel Dasigie, 730 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,960 was so fearful his work would be seized, 731 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,520 that he hid some of his more extreme creations. 732 00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:16,300 The story goes that, before his death, he drew a map. 733 00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:20,888 Concealed it inside a piece of furniture in his house. 734 00:32:21,063 --> 00:32:24,420 We believe it's inside those drawers. 735 00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:27,260 - Are you for real? - Treasure map. That's unbelievable. 736 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:31,180 Craziest thing I've ever heard. It's fairy tale stuff. 737 00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:35,240 So, you stole the drawers to try and find the map. 738 00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:38,300 Untie him. 739 00:32:39,340 --> 00:32:40,340 Just him. 740 00:32:41,020 --> 00:32:43,340 Oi! Feet! 741 00:32:44,460 --> 00:32:45,460 Fuck sake, dude. 742 00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:48,280 You've been told a load of crap. There's no fucking map here, man. 743 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,745 It must be! It has to be! 744 00:32:49,745 --> 00:32:51,780 All our evidence suggests... 745 00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:53,220 Try those legs! 746 00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:55,360 - I've tried the legs! - Well, twist them! Press them! 747 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,760 I've tried! It's concealed! It has to be here somewhere! 748 00:32:57,828 --> 00:32:58,971 No! There's nothing! 749 00:32:58,996 --> 00:33:01,880 Looks like your story was apocalyptic after all. 750 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,240 Hey, hang about... 751 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,600 That line... see it? 752 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,460 It's not the same colour as the rest of the wood. 753 00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,180 That's not a flush join. 754 00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:14,980 He's right... 755 00:33:15,620 --> 00:33:16,700 What about... 756 00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:19,540 We'll give it a little... 757 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,060 Oh... 758 00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,860 Oh, fuck. No way... 759 00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:29,358 No fucking way, man. 760 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:32,780 Call me a genius. 761 00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:36,860 I might be a simple farmer, but I'm an Englishman... 762 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:37,480 All right. 763 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:38,960 ...with an Englishman's heart. 764 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,800 Jim, Jim, Jim! Shut the fuck up! 765 00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:47,140 That's a fucking map! 766 00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:50,020 No, no, no, no, no... 767 00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:53,380 This is OUR plan, and you boys just stumbled upon it. 768 00:33:53,420 --> 00:33:55,280 Yeah, well, that might be the case, 769 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,880 but we're professional thieves... ish. 770 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,040 You know... And you lot are fucking useless. 771 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,808 Hardly! 772 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,680 We got the drawers, didn't we? 773 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,800 Yeah... yeah, you did. And then we nicked 'em off you. 774 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,944 And you knocked over a fucking chiminea, robbing the wrong... 775 00:34:08,944 --> 00:34:12,160 - Chiminea. - Chim-in-ea, robbing the wrong house. 776 00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,760 And then you got your fucking car stuck in a ditch. 777 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:15,640 He's got a point. 778 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,400 And if you rob that stately home, 779 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,840 you're all gonna get caught and no one's finding shit. 780 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,440 So, here's what I propose... 781 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,360 Now, I'd say nine out of ten of our jobs go... 782 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,860 Seven, if you're lucky. 783 00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,120 Seven out of ten of our jobs... 784 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,720 Six-and-a-half, innit, really. 785 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,280 Well... six. 786 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,720 Six out of ten of our jobs go relatively well. 787 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,080 And up till now, none of yours have. 788 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:38,840 All right? 789 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,160 So, you either say yeah, 790 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,520 and potentially come away with a bit of loot here, 791 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,960 or you say no, I tell Terence McCann your names, 792 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,960 we let the fucking cards fall where they may, what you saying? 793 00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:49,800 OK... 794 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,320 - But we come with you - Yeah... 795 00:34:51,344 --> 00:34:51,759 On the job. 796 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,080 This is OUR adventure, and we want to be there. 797 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,473 Absolutely not. 798 00:34:55,513 --> 00:34:57,400 You've got more chance of seeing a one legged-dog 799 00:34:57,424 --> 00:34:58,839 shitting on a frozen pond. 800 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,040 That's fucking final. 801 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,295 This is fun! Thanks for letting us come! 802 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,400 Shh! Lads! Lads! 803 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,760 Just shut the fuck up! 804 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,600 We're on a fucking robbery! 805 00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:27,600 All right, listen... 806 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,040 Positions. 807 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,000 You two take the right, you two are gonna take the left. 808 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,680 You keep dog eye while we do the cutting, all right? 809 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:37,600 If you see anyone, walkie-talkies. 810 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:38,640 Go on. 811 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,440 Check this out... 812 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:42,880 Couple of bloody pros here. 813 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,800 We're gonna be in here in five minutes. 814 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,540 Last one. 815 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,760 Do you see what I mean? Do you see what I mean... 816 00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,120 Oh, shit! 817 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,480 Move it! Hurry the fuck up, dude! 818 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,520 It's my knees... 819 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,880 - Well, that's it. We've blown it. - We need to get out of here. 820 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,240 Honestly, that's an amateur response. 821 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,320 What we're gonna do, we're gonna stay here, all right? 822 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,320 Right here, quiet. 823 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,120 - What? - Christ... 824 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,640 I said, "We're gonna stay here, quiet." 825 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:32,680 Ah... 826 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,960 Cos pound to a penny, no fucker comes out tonight to reset that system. 827 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,560 ♪ Cos I'm a cowboy ♪ 828 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,320 ♪ On a steel horse, I ride ♪ 829 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,626 Had a thought earlier. 830 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:52,920 Yeah? 831 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,400 We could have just come during visiting hours. 832 00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:58,040 You what? 833 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,660 I mean... we didn't need to break in, did we? 834 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,680 We could have just paid and walked in as tourists. 835 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,380 That's a much better idea. 836 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,520 Sandman, come in Sandman. This is Beaver Three. 837 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,040 Any sign of intruders, Beaver Three? 838 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,560 Negative. Over. 839 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,480 Has the site been penetrated, Beaver Three? 840 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,520 Negative, Sandman. No sign of penetration. 841 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,960 Then I suggest we leave this to the morning shift. 842 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,520 Affirmative, Sandman. Over. 843 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,160 Oh... 844 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,000 ♪ Show me ♪ 845 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:56,520 ♪ Show me ♪ 846 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,120 - Do you know, this... - Yeah? 847 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,280 This is like a proper... 848 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,080 Like, Indiana Jones... 849 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:12,780 Shit. 850 00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:20,440 You've fucking broke that now, ain't you, you bellend? 851 00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:21,760 S-s-ssorry... 852 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,760 Can only take you somewhere twice. Once is to apologise. 853 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,120 Now get the fuck down there. 854 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,080 Right... according to the map, 855 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,760 secret door's somewhere across that wall there... 856 00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,740 And the mechanism for said door... 857 00:38:44,359 --> 00:38:46,359 is... up there. 858 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,120 Right, who fancies lifting me up? Not you. 859 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,320 Right. Go on, Tom. 860 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,160 Oh, oh... 861 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,200 Fucking hell... 862 00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,080 It's stuck. 863 00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:56,920 Try again. 864 00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,400 Do you think? 865 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,032 Cos I was just gonna fuck it off after all this trouble, go home. 866 00:39:02,032 --> 00:39:04,240 - Lemon. - Christ, you've a bony arse. 867 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,760 I told him that last week. 868 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,210 - Why were you feeling his arse? - You're killing my shoulders, Vin. 869 00:39:08,210 --> 00:39:11,530 Well, know what, your big fat head's mashing my balls to smithereens. 870 00:39:11,570 --> 00:39:13,570 We've all got our fucking crosses to bear. 871 00:39:14,838 --> 00:39:15,537 Got it. 872 00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:16,370 Oh... 873 00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:19,655 - You've got it. It's open. - You've done it. 874 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,084 Put me down, Ash. 875 00:39:21,610 --> 00:39:23,410 Mr Bates, get the fuck out of way... 876 00:39:23,450 --> 00:39:25,880 Let's all queue up, like we did at school. 877 00:39:28,690 --> 00:39:29,690 Ah! 878 00:39:29,730 --> 00:39:31,320 Come on, lads... 879 00:39:33,011 --> 00:39:35,480 This is doing nothing for my claustrophobia. 880 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,011 It's like a Berlin sex party. 881 00:39:44,051 --> 00:39:47,480 There's something ahead, an opening! 882 00:39:48,051 --> 00:39:49,051 Like I say... 883 00:39:49,091 --> 00:39:51,891 It's here! It's bloody here! 884 00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,411 The secret room! 885 00:39:53,451 --> 00:39:54,531 We've found it! 886 00:39:54,571 --> 00:39:56,856 Holy shit... 887 00:39:56,959 --> 00:39:59,491 Such an adventure... 888 00:39:59,531 --> 00:40:00,531 Fuck... 889 00:40:01,411 --> 00:40:02,971 It's a cleaning rota. 890 00:40:03,011 --> 00:40:05,400 No one's been here since 197-fucking-5. 891 00:40:06,038 --> 00:40:08,571 Fucking coffee cups and shit like a bed down there. 892 00:40:08,611 --> 00:40:11,011 This is where the staff came to skive off, this. 893 00:40:11,051 --> 00:40:12,051 It can't be! 894 00:40:12,491 --> 00:40:16,731 All our research suggests this is Emmanuel's secret storage space. 895 00:40:16,771 --> 00:40:18,760 All your research, eh? 896 00:40:18,931 --> 00:40:21,275 I'm sure Emanuel is up in heaven right now, 897 00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:22,931 laughing himself silly over this, 898 00:40:22,971 --> 00:40:24,934 sat in a massive cock-shaped harp. 899 00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:27,171 Fuck! 900 00:40:27,211 --> 00:40:28,400 Fuck it... 901 00:40:28,971 --> 00:40:30,560 Let's smoke a spliff. 902 00:40:32,611 --> 00:40:34,200 - Cheers, lads. - Nice one. 903 00:40:34,224 --> 00:40:35,560 Have a good night. 904 00:40:37,291 --> 00:40:40,175 Arr-on. I mean, Aaron... hat you doing here? 905 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,640 Is this... I thought you worked in a wine bar. 906 00:40:45,171 --> 00:40:46,811 - The chances of this... - Mmm... 907 00:40:46,851 --> 00:40:48,640 Incredible coincidence. 908 00:40:49,131 --> 00:40:51,451 - How about I buy you a drink? - How about you go home? 909 00:40:51,491 --> 00:40:53,651 Oh, hang on... We got off to a bad start. 910 00:40:53,691 --> 00:40:55,171 I apologise. 911 00:40:55,211 --> 00:40:57,691 - Let me buy you a drink. - No, thanks. I'm good. 912 00:40:57,731 --> 00:40:59,040 Your choice. 913 00:40:59,531 --> 00:41:01,600 But if you're gonna be serious with my brother, 914 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,160 we need to at least... get on. 915 00:41:06,371 --> 00:41:08,200 - How much is entry? - Ten. 916 00:41:10,211 --> 00:41:11,480 Tenner it is. 917 00:41:14,491 --> 00:41:15,491 Thank you. 918 00:41:16,971 --> 00:41:18,971 I hope they look like you in there. 919 00:41:31,491 --> 00:41:33,131 Hey... Hi. 920 00:41:33,171 --> 00:41:34,171 Um... 921 00:41:35,851 --> 00:41:37,680 - It's over. - What? 922 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:38,850 Me and you, Jake. It's over. 923 00:41:38,851 --> 00:41:40,931 OK, I'm sorry. It's just... It's not right. 924 00:41:40,971 --> 00:41:41,971 We're done. 925 00:41:42,011 --> 00:41:43,171 - Erin, I... - No, Jake. 926 00:41:43,211 --> 00:41:45,091 Jake, you know it yourself, all right? 927 00:41:45,131 --> 00:41:46,131 It's... 928 00:41:46,851 --> 00:41:47,851 I'm sorry. 929 00:41:49,131 --> 00:41:50,131 It's over. 930 00:41:50,891 --> 00:41:51,891 Erin... 931 00:41:54,451 --> 00:41:58,771 ♪ When I was young, younger than before ♪ 932 00:42:02,891 --> 00:42:07,451 ♪ I never saw the truth hanging from the door ♪ 933 00:42:16,331 --> 00:42:18,891 - Right... - Go on, sod off, then. 934 00:42:18,931 --> 00:42:19,931 I need my bed. 935 00:42:19,971 --> 00:42:22,760 It was fun, that.Mmm... An adventure. 936 00:42:24,531 --> 00:42:27,180 It's what we do, innit? Adventures. 937 00:42:27,851 --> 00:42:29,931 It's an important lesson that, though. 938 00:42:30,691 --> 00:42:33,120 You can't always come away with gold, can you? 939 00:42:33,144 --> 00:42:34,480 No... 940 00:42:34,931 --> 00:42:35,931 But... 941 00:42:37,131 --> 00:42:38,440 ...sometimes... 942 00:42:39,851 --> 00:42:41,680 ...you can find... 943 00:42:42,691 --> 00:42:43,691 ...silver. 944 00:42:44,531 --> 00:42:45,771 Where'd you find that? 945 00:42:45,811 --> 00:42:47,451 Found it in the, uh... 946 00:42:47,491 --> 00:42:49,280 ...secret room. 947 00:42:49,531 --> 00:42:51,491 You know, when we were having a spliff. 948 00:42:54,491 --> 00:42:55,491 No way... 949 00:42:56,331 --> 00:42:58,291 I didn't want them teachers to have it. 950 00:42:58,331 --> 00:42:59,651 I wanted to give it to you. 951 00:42:59,691 --> 00:43:01,651 Eh? No, no, no... 952 00:43:01,691 --> 00:43:03,680 I can't take that off you. That's finders keepers. 953 00:43:03,705 --> 00:43:05,800 No, no... I want you to. 954 00:43:06,571 --> 00:43:07,571 Cos, uh... 955 00:43:08,331 --> 00:43:09,331 You know... 956 00:43:10,491 --> 00:43:11,491 You've been sad. 957 00:43:14,371 --> 00:43:17,771 I'm really glad, uh, that you're alive again. 958 00:43:20,891 --> 00:43:21,891 Me, too. 959 00:43:22,851 --> 00:43:23,851 Love you, mate. 960 00:43:30,571 --> 00:43:32,451 - I love you, dude. - I love you, too, man. 961 00:43:32,491 --> 00:43:34,451 - Look after yourself, yeah? - All right... 962 00:43:37,291 --> 00:43:38,640 Go on. Sod off. 963 00:43:39,171 --> 00:43:41,491 ♪ I once had a life ♪ 964 00:43:41,531 --> 00:43:45,011 ♪ Or rather, life had me ♪ 965 00:43:45,531 --> 00:43:51,531 ♪ I was one among many, or at least I seemed to be ♪ 966 00:43:52,411 --> 00:43:56,411 ♪ Well, I read an old quotation in a book... ♪ 967 00:43:56,451 --> 00:43:58,480 Right, get your shit together. 968 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,040 Get your shit together, we'll get out the fuck out of here. 969 00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:02,167 Cardi, come on. I'll buy you a kebab 970 00:44:02,167 --> 00:44:04,691 on the way home... all right. 971 00:44:05,371 --> 00:44:06,851 ♪ Can you get to that? ♪ 972 00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:14,207 Why don't you try a change of scene? 973 00:44:14,247 --> 00:44:16,207 See if that has any effect on your dreams. 974 00:44:16,247 --> 00:44:17,807 Why don't you stop here tonight? 975 00:44:17,847 --> 00:44:19,360 You'd have the whole pub to yourself. 976 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:20,440 They're all coked-up! 977 00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:21,560 Oh... 978 00:44:23,615 --> 00:44:25,335 Some fucker's in the cellar. 979 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,680 What are you doing, anyway? 980 00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,960 Oh... fuck! 981 00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:29,840 Just chilling. 982 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,440 This is my friend Dylan. 983 00:44:31,464 --> 00:44:32,719 - Hi. - Hi... 984 00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:35,018 I made the woman I love shit her pants. 985 00:44:35,043 --> 00:44:36,043 Wow. 70550

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