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1
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:07,720
Very clever...
2
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,800
Right, who's responsible?!
3
00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:15,000
O'Neill, sir.
4
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,120
- Vincent?
- Nothing to do with me, sir.
5
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,320
Oh, really?
So, Carl's lying, is he?
6
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,360
Yeah, he's lying.
7
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,280
And he better take it back,
cos that's thingy... liable.
8
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,040
- Slander.
- Slander.
9
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,320
Come up here!
10
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,680
Show me your hands...
11
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,440
- What?
- HANDS!
12
00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:35,040
- I can explain...
- Caught red-handed.
13
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,000
You're a liar, O'Neill,
and liars need to be punished.
14
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,920
Here we go...
15
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,520
Say sorry to Humfrey.
16
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,440
Thing is, Mr Bates,
he's essentially a trainer.
17
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,480
Yes...
18
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,520
And if he doesn't get an apology,
he gets TREMENDOUSLY ANGRY!
19
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,200
All right, I'm sorry! To Humfrey!
20
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,560
Sorry... trainer.
21
00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,000
- Say his name!
- I'm not saying his name!
22
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,000
- Does he have to say his name?
- Yes!
23
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,040
Thanks, dickheads!
24
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,320
- Say it, O'Neill!
- Shut up, you dog-bumming twat!
25
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,920
- Say sorry to the shoe!
- I'm not apologising to footwear!
26
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,360
Sorry to the shoe,
sorry to the shoe!
27
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,040
Sorry to the shoe!
28
00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:16,440
Sorry to the shoe!
29
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,280
♪ The best things in life are free ♪
30
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:23,480
You're a thief, O'Neill,
always were and always will be!
31
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,880
♪ That's what I want ♪
32
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,000
♪ That's what I want... ♪
33
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,200
♪ That's what I want ♪
34
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,240
Sorry, shoe...
35
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,760
♪ That's what I want ♪
36
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,360
♪ That's what I want... ♪
37
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,720
♪ That's what I want ♪
38
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,360
Aren't you practically
Terence's bitch now, though,
39
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,480
you doing all the work,
while he takes all the profit.
40
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,400
No, I am not Terence's bitch.
41
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,160
He's a fucking ENT-repreneur.
42
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,000
Yeah, ent... entrepreneur.
43
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,520
Entrepreneur,
investing in our start-up company.
44
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,440
Which means better facilities,
45
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,480
better weed...
46
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,680
Fucking hell,
we're moving up a league here.
47
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:56,720
Hang on, sweetheart.
48
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:57,760
Don't get me wrong,
49
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,760
it's great we're
Terence's top supplier,
50
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,040
but I'm a businessman now,
51
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,080
and businessmen
have responsibilities.
52
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,200
Like fucking what?
53
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,855
Like sorting out this place.
Look at it.
54
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,320
There's spliff butts
in every crevice,
55
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,640
used condom in the hand-drier,
56
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:11,840
some idiot's been cold-lunching
by the fire exit.
57
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,640
- You Hawley's Larry Flynt or something?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...
58
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,640
Dickhead, I'm doing this for us.
59
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,920
I mean, fair do's,
I might be managing director,
60
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,040
but we're all stakeholders, yeah,
61
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,080
and its success
relies on our shared efforts.
62
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:25,120
Which is why...
63
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,480
I was hoping you might
come somewhere with me.
64
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,320
Come somewhere with yer? Like where?
65
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,240
Little, uh, trip out.
66
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,240
Like where?
67
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,440
I'm planning a room in the back,
68
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,480
for, you know... specialist clients.
69
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,160
A blue room, if you will.
70
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,440
And I've got this vision in my mind.
71
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,560
I want it kitted out
in a very particular way.
72
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,160
Who's gonna want to
eat their dinner off that?
73
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,200
They're perfect.
74
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,432
Look at the detail.
75
00:02:53,432 --> 00:02:55,912
Little willy sculptures
all across the top of it.
76
00:02:55,952 --> 00:02:56,952
Hmm.
77
00:02:57,792 --> 00:03:00,032
Hey, I tell who'd like these,
you know...
78
00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:02,032
Fucking McCann.
Oi! Eyes off, sunshine!
79
00:03:02,072 --> 00:03:03,232
Use your bloody head.
80
00:03:03,272 --> 00:03:05,912
He loves a pervy antique.
It'll keep him sweet, won't it.
81
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:09,289
All right, how's about
you take these drawers.
82
00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:12,752
There's fuck all erotic
about 'em, dude.
83
00:03:12,792 --> 00:03:13,792
Check out the side.
84
00:03:15,114 --> 00:03:16,114
Christ...
85
00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:17,139
Look...
86
00:03:18,617 --> 00:03:20,266
Big snizz on it.
87
00:03:21,272 --> 00:03:23,152
That is... that's pornographic, that.
88
00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:24,192
That's disgusting.
89
00:03:24,232 --> 00:03:25,392
Hey, hey, hey...
90
00:03:25,432 --> 00:03:26,992
It's a thing of beauty, that is.
91
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:29,192
It's a work of art, the female twat.
92
00:03:29,232 --> 00:03:31,472
You help me with the rest.
The drawers are yours.
93
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,512
All right...
So, when they shifting 'em?
94
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:38,232
The museum can't afford
expensive storage arrangements,
95
00:03:38,272 --> 00:03:41,272
so I'm reliably informed they're
sticking them in non-descript boxes
96
00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:44,300
and whacking 'em in shipping
containers in the staff car park.
97
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,227
- With no security?
- They've got security.
98
00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:49,192
CCTV, guard with a dog...
99
00:03:49,232 --> 00:03:51,712
- What kind of dog?
- A fucking labradoodle!
100
00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:53,048
What'd you mean,
what kind of fucking dog?
101
00:03:53,048 --> 00:03:56,477
If it's a fucking Rottweiler,
they're trained to grab by the throat.
102
00:03:56,477 --> 00:03:57,406
We'll bring some dog food.
103
00:03:57,406 --> 00:04:00,239
There's a thing you can get,
a dart gun, tranquiliser.
104
00:04:00,263 --> 00:04:01,391
Yes, exactly.
105
00:04:01,392 --> 00:04:03,472
Shoot that up its arse
and we're good to go.
106
00:04:03,512 --> 00:04:05,592
Right... you know what I'm gonna ask.
107
00:04:05,632 --> 00:04:06,632
Is this worth it?
108
00:04:06,672 --> 00:04:09,312
All of this trouble for some
weird crap for his perv room?
109
00:04:09,352 --> 00:04:12,152
Have a bit of vision,
for once in your fucking life, mate.
110
00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:14,432
We could be
the next Hustler Club, yeah.
111
00:04:14,472 --> 00:04:18,346
And it's the class and attention
to detail that's gonna get us there.
112
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,312
- Vinnie?
- I'm up for it.
113
00:04:20,352 --> 00:04:22,240
Anything that doesn't involve
being in disguise
114
00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:23,920
or in fear for my fucking life.
115
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,152
- Grand, yeah.
- Count me out.
116
00:04:26,192 --> 00:04:28,432
- Yeah... me, too.
- Just the three of us, then.
117
00:04:28,472 --> 00:04:32,193
The Three Musketeers,
all for one and one for fucking all.
118
00:04:34,832 --> 00:04:36,072
Where's Cardi?
119
00:04:36,112 --> 00:04:37,112
Cardi!
120
00:04:37,872 --> 00:04:38,872
Car...
121
00:04:39,952 --> 00:04:41,526
- Hello.
- Hello.
122
00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:43,636
What's all that shit on your face?
123
00:04:43,636 --> 00:04:44,809
- Have you been tanning?
- No.
124
00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:46,591
- Yeah, you have...
- Oi, oi.
125
00:04:46,592 --> 00:04:48,992
What's he wearing?
What's this man got on?
126
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,952
You know when you've been tangoed.
127
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,792
Right, come on... do some explaining.
128
00:04:53,832 --> 00:04:56,312
I'm just busy, all right.
129
00:04:56,352 --> 00:04:58,512
I'm not always av-ailable, you know.
130
00:04:58,552 --> 00:05:00,505
Sometimes I do have
other things going on in my life.
131
00:05:00,505 --> 00:05:01,625
Yeah? Like what?
132
00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:04,112
Cardi... Cardi, come on. Come on.
133
00:05:04,152 --> 00:05:05,392
Have to do a second coat...
134
00:05:05,432 --> 00:05:06,592
Oh, how are you, Vinnie?
135
00:05:06,632 --> 00:05:08,352
She does this with all the fellas.
136
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:11,032
We're having a spa day
at home today, aren't we, Cardi...
137
00:05:11,072 --> 00:05:12,232
Uh, well, it's, um...
138
00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:13,832
Oh, it's all going on today.
139
00:05:13,872 --> 00:05:16,032
Jacuzzi, massage, facials...
140
00:05:16,072 --> 00:05:19,072
Might even do a cucumber
body wrap later, if we've the time.
141
00:05:19,112 --> 00:05:20,592
Oh, cucumber body wrap?
142
00:05:20,632 --> 00:05:22,712
Right, well, listen...
Have a lovely time.
143
00:05:23,112 --> 00:05:25,352
Uh... what are you doing?
144
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,472
Go back to your tanning, you.
You're patchy.
145
00:05:27,512 --> 00:05:29,752
Have a good time! Oh, we will!
146
00:05:29,792 --> 00:05:31,592
How much do you want
for your tooth?
147
00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:33,992
Thirty pounds.
148
00:05:34,032 --> 00:05:35,592
Thirty bloody quid?
149
00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:37,352
You can have a fiver
if I can touch it.
150
00:05:37,392 --> 00:05:38,552
Gross...
151
00:05:40,112 --> 00:05:41,992
- There you go.
- Thanks.
152
00:05:42,672 --> 00:05:43,752
Good to have you back.
153
00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:45,642
Yeah, it's good to be back.
154
00:05:46,432 --> 00:05:48,392
Thanks for bringing him
to come and see me,
155
00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:49,832
when I was stuck in that hole.
156
00:05:50,312 --> 00:05:51,792
That little face kept me going.
157
00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:54,552
Why don't you go
and play upstairs for a bit?
158
00:05:54,592 --> 00:05:55,922
Go on. Bog off.
159
00:05:57,992 --> 00:06:00,013
- We were worried about you.
- Hmm...
160
00:06:01,552 --> 00:06:03,032
I've been worried about me.
161
00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:06,265
I had some dark days.
162
00:06:09,632 --> 00:06:10,632
But him...
163
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,749
I really love that boy.
164
00:06:16,352 --> 00:06:17,352
I know.
165
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,632
Right...
166
00:06:22,672 --> 00:06:24,752
Gotta go to Jake's
bloody dinner party now.
167
00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:27,272
- See you later.
- See you.
168
00:06:27,312 --> 00:06:30,032
Right, Sugar should be back, OK.
She'll put him to bed.
169
00:06:30,072 --> 00:06:31,792
- OK.
- All right, bye, baby.
170
00:06:31,832 --> 00:06:33,232
- Love you.
- Love you.
171
00:06:33,272 --> 00:06:34,621
Enjoy your time.
172
00:06:34,992 --> 00:06:37,883
Aww, bloody snuggles, eh?
173
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,064
What film do you wanna watch?
174
00:06:40,272 --> 00:06:41,352
Hey, Vin.
175
00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:42,871
What can I do you for?
176
00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:44,737
I don't know, man...
177
00:06:45,916 --> 00:06:47,542
Do you ever wish...
178
00:06:50,232 --> 00:06:52,872
...you could just,
you could just tell people things.
179
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:53,912
You know...
180
00:06:54,312 --> 00:06:56,792
If things were just different,
you could tell 'em...
181
00:06:58,832 --> 00:07:02,312
...and they'd be happy,
and you'd be happy.
182
00:07:04,192 --> 00:07:05,672
No... Fuck...
183
00:07:06,472 --> 00:07:09,032
- Do you know what I mean?
- I know exactly what you mean.
184
00:07:09,072 --> 00:07:10,478
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
185
00:07:10,503 --> 00:07:12,592
I'm seeing this new woman, Casandra.
186
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:13,952
Total fitness freak.
187
00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:18,013
It's all organic wheatgrass
and tantric vaginal Pilates.
188
00:07:18,013 --> 00:07:20,552
Look what she's got me wearing.
Look at it.
189
00:07:20,592 --> 00:07:22,472
- What's that?
- Detox patch.
190
00:07:22,512 --> 00:07:25,392
- She says it realigns my chi.
- Right.
191
00:07:25,432 --> 00:07:27,912
But I'm hooked, Vin.
I'm obsessed with her.
192
00:07:27,952 --> 00:07:30,352
I'm ABSOLUTELY obsessed with her.
193
00:07:30,392 --> 00:07:32,712
She's like fragrant Viagra.
194
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:35,632
- All right...
- The sex is amazing...
195
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:38,072
I'm happy... I'm happy for you.
Fucking nice knees.
196
00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:40,112
Amazing... AMAZING.
197
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,312
But the intercourse, Vincent...
198
00:07:42,352 --> 00:07:43,352
Oh, my God!
199
00:07:43,392 --> 00:07:44,792
God, I wish you could just...
200
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,312
I wish you could experience...
201
00:07:46,352 --> 00:07:49,432
I wish you could take a day,
step inside my body,
202
00:07:49,472 --> 00:07:51,192
take control of my chopper and...
203
00:07:52,032 --> 00:07:53,752
- Just profound...
- Chris...
204
00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:55,952
- Stop, STOP!
- Sensational!
205
00:07:55,992 --> 00:07:56,674
Chris, stop!
206
00:07:56,674 --> 00:07:57,792
Shut the fuck...
207
00:07:57,792 --> 00:07:58,822
You've gone too far again!
208
00:07:58,822 --> 00:08:01,912
Why the fuck would I wanna be
your dick for a day?
209
00:08:01,952 --> 00:08:04,512
You hijack these fucking sessions
every time.
210
00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:06,648
Talking about fucking sheilas...
211
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:09,712
...sloppy blow jobs or whatever.
212
00:08:09,752 --> 00:08:12,152
- All right. Quite right.
- Let's reverse these roles.
213
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,192
You're the doctor, I'm the patient.
214
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,791
Do you know what I mean?
215
00:08:15,952 --> 00:08:18,069
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
216
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:20,072
Sorry, Vin.
217
00:08:21,992 --> 00:08:22,992
Sorry.
218
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,752
So, how are you?
219
00:08:29,261 --> 00:08:30,261
I miss my kid.
220
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,541
Well, it's not my kid.
It's the mother of my kid.
221
00:08:33,661 --> 00:08:35,141
She's amazing.
222
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,341
I just I wasn't such a...
223
00:08:37,381 --> 00:08:38,781
What is wrong... Oi.
224
00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:40,340
What?
225
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,699
Just tell me about your
tantric minge sex, then.
226
00:08:42,699 --> 00:08:45,001
No. Go on. Carry on.
I was listening.
227
00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:47,341
- What are you looking at?
- Nothing.
228
00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:49,063
You were looking at
your fucking screen.
229
00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:50,774
- What you looking at?
- Nothing on it.
230
00:08:50,774 --> 00:08:53,301
Nothing here. There's no need to...
231
00:08:53,341 --> 00:08:55,544
- There! There! There!
- There's nothing on it!
232
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,358
Motherfucker!
233
00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:02,866
I don't know why I let you
talk me into these things.
234
00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:04,701
Cos you love it, that's why.
235
00:09:04,976 --> 00:09:08,246
- Do we all know what we're doing?
- Yeah... Sound.
236
00:09:12,815 --> 00:09:14,730
Oh, fucking hell, dude...
237
00:09:16,615 --> 00:09:18,255
Nearly took my fucking hand off.
238
00:09:18,895 --> 00:09:21,455
You great knobhead,
what are you doing wearing that?
239
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:22,655
Reverse psychology.
240
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:25,095
Ah, I've always wanted to
use one of these, lads.
241
00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:26,855
Where the fuck did you
get that from?
242
00:09:26,895 --> 00:09:28,253
- Kitty Mclean.
- Cat burglar?
243
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,334
That's him, yeah.
244
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:30,735
He got a job lot one Christmas.
245
00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:32,575
He only charged me
a tenner for that.
246
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,455
Argh!
247
00:09:39,855 --> 00:09:41,175
Fuck's sake!
248
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:42,375
Quiet, dude!
249
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,215
Jesus! Quiet?
You've fucking gashed my head open!
250
00:09:46,255 --> 00:09:48,655
- It didn't clasp.
- Maybe that's why it were a tenner.
251
00:09:48,695 --> 00:09:49,953
Here, let me have a look.
252
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,575
There's fuck all there, man.
253
00:09:53,615 --> 00:09:55,399
- Are you sure?
- Shut the fuck up.
254
00:10:01,135 --> 00:10:04,455
♪ Oh, the sun-drenched
French girls won't relate ♪
255
00:10:04,495 --> 00:10:08,135
♪ To a frozen glare
from the Northern State ♪
256
00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:10,135
♪ Dreamin' of fat, happy babies ♪
257
00:10:10,175 --> 00:10:12,735
♪ Kickin' ladies on the Metro now ♪
258
00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:16,575
♪ Woo ♪
259
00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:19,466
- Have you got the tranquiliser gun?
- I have it here.
260
00:10:20,175 --> 00:10:22,507
- Where do you shoot it?
- In the arse.
261
00:10:22,615 --> 00:10:23,855
All right, now listen...
262
00:10:23,895 --> 00:10:26,207
For fuck sake, don't miss.
Last thing we need is an angry dog.
263
00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:27,987
- I won't.
- All right...
264
00:10:30,895 --> 00:10:31,975
Fuck me...
265
00:10:36,095 --> 00:10:37,095
Shit...
266
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,775
Vin... What? Look.
267
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:43,815
Who the fuck are they?
268
00:10:44,575 --> 00:10:46,655
♪ I used to think
life's a bitter pill ♪
269
00:10:48,055 --> 00:10:52,135
♪ But it's a grand old time ♪
270
00:10:58,855 --> 00:11:02,175
Jake tells me you're running a
local wine bar alongside your studies.
271
00:11:02,215 --> 00:11:03,215
Impressive.
272
00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:05,255
Well, I wouldn't call it
a wine bar...
273
00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:07,455
- It's an evening drinkery.
- Great.
274
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:09,695
We must come down.
275
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,695
Charlton and I love an excuse
to get out and about.
276
00:11:12,735 --> 00:11:14,295
Yeah, that'd be great.
277
00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:15,415
What's it called?
278
00:11:16,255 --> 00:11:18,255
- It's called The Rat and...
- Ratatouille.
279
00:11:18,935 --> 00:11:21,255
- Right. Fantastic.
- Mmm.
280
00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:23,855
Amazing cocktails.
281
00:11:23,895 --> 00:11:25,615
Mum loves a cocktail, don't you...
282
00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:30,368
Death in the Afternoon.
It's what Hemingway used to drink.
283
00:11:40,815 --> 00:11:41,975
Motherfuckers...
284
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,655
- Who the fuck are they?!
- No idea.
285
00:11:44,695 --> 00:11:47,015
Who told you about the gear
being kept here?
286
00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:48,994
You remember Sheridan,
my sister's chiropodist?
287
00:11:49,019 --> 00:11:51,775
- No.
- Yeah, you do. Big lass, grey hair.
288
00:11:51,815 --> 00:11:53,055
Shiny forehead.
289
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:56,415
Anyway, her cousin
Rellaine, like Brelaine...
290
00:11:56,455 --> 00:11:57,104
Who's Rellaine?
291
00:11:57,104 --> 00:11:58,739
You met her,
but you were off your face.
292
00:11:58,739 --> 00:11:59,617
Good night, that, won't it.
293
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:02,229
Anyway, she's going out with Ian.
Remember Ian?
294
00:12:02,229 --> 00:12:03,228
I do know Ian.
295
00:12:03,228 --> 00:12:04,855
- Massive hair.
- Yeah...
296
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,975
Fucking hell. Shut the fuck up.
297
00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:08,015
Yeah...
298
00:12:08,055 --> 00:12:09,784
It doesn't make any difference,
whoever it was.
299
00:12:09,784 --> 00:12:10,672
They have blabbed,
300
00:12:10,672 --> 00:12:12,871
and now these wankers
are nicking all our gear.
301
00:12:12,871 --> 00:12:14,483
- Shall we just bail?
- And let them have it?
302
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,575
- What's the option?
- They're fucking armed.
303
00:12:17,615 --> 00:12:19,301
- Fucking armed, JJ?
- Yes! Armed!
304
00:12:19,326 --> 00:12:21,278
Are we seriously gonna
get ourselves killed
305
00:12:21,302 --> 00:12:22,996
- for some chairs with dicks on?
- No!
306
00:12:22,996 --> 00:12:25,455
Hey, hey, hey... erotic curiosities.
307
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,495
All right?
308
00:12:26,535 --> 00:12:28,059
If I wanted a chair with dicks on,
I'd speak to your barber.
309
00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:31,059
Why you always dissing my barber?
Can you tell him please... Oi...
310
00:12:31,059 --> 00:12:32,659
Listen to me.
311
00:12:33,058 --> 00:12:34,733
We're professional thieves.
312
00:12:34,895 --> 00:12:37,874
Ashley, we're professional thieves.
313
00:12:38,295 --> 00:12:41,295
We can't have people turning
up before us, just nicking our shit.
314
00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,495
You know what I mean?
315
00:12:44,735 --> 00:12:46,142
Let's get back in the van.
316
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,735
All right, they're coming. Get down.
317
00:12:49,775 --> 00:12:52,015
Fuck's sake... Christ.
318
00:12:52,055 --> 00:12:54,055
Why did you duck in my direction?
319
00:12:54,095 --> 00:12:55,333
Same fucking spot,
are you kidding me?
320
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:56,385
Right, come on, follow 'em.
321
00:12:56,385 --> 00:12:59,610
Yeah, that's it,
fucking nine-point turn, Ashley.
322
00:12:59,635 --> 00:13:02,595
You sexy idiot, what are you doing?!
You fucking big fat hand...
323
00:13:02,635 --> 00:13:04,035
Moron...
324
00:13:05,635 --> 00:13:08,875
♪ Send me a postcard, darling ♪
325
00:13:08,915 --> 00:13:11,915
♪ How can I make you understand? ♪
326
00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:13,510
What's going on?
Why are we slowing down?
327
00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:15,910
Why the fuck are we slowing...
What are you doing?!
328
00:13:17,016 --> 00:13:18,016
It's a red light.
329
00:13:18,056 --> 00:13:20,456
Never mind red light!
We're gonna fucking lose 'em!
330
00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:21,238
We're not gonna lose them.
331
00:13:21,238 --> 00:13:22,837
They've gone straight ahead
in a massive green van...
332
00:13:22,837 --> 00:13:26,237
We're in a covert criminal pursuit
and you're obeying the Highway Code!
333
00:13:26,277 --> 00:13:29,120
- It'll be a few seconds.
- Fuck, dude.
334
00:13:32,214 --> 00:13:34,295
- Taking a while, aren't they...
- Go through the red light!
335
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,880
The road's completely deserted!
336
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:36,920
Fine... Green.
337
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,538
Oh, nice one, you bellend!
338
00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,042
That's you stressing me out!
339
00:13:40,042 --> 00:13:42,447
- I'm fucking stressing you out?
- Constantly on at me!
340
00:13:42,471 --> 00:13:43,769
START THE VAN!
341
00:13:43,794 --> 00:13:46,160
- I'm starting the fucking van!
- Swap seats...
342
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,920
- Fucking go!
- They've gone red again!
343
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,040
You're jiggling...
344
00:13:49,647 --> 00:13:52,520
♪ Before loneliness
will break my heart ♪
345
00:13:52,545 --> 00:13:55,495
♪ Send me a postcard, darling ♪
346
00:13:55,745 --> 00:13:58,439
♪ Send me a postcard, darling... ♪
347
00:13:58,785 --> 00:14:01,316
♪ Send me a postcard, darling... ♪
348
00:14:01,571 --> 00:14:02,680
Right, now, listen.
349
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,675
The element of surprise
is our best friend here.
350
00:14:04,675 --> 00:14:08,208
They're not gonna be expecting
us turning up, nicking their gear, so...
351
00:14:08,930 --> 00:14:10,185
Stealth.
352
00:14:12,505 --> 00:14:13,665
Ashley!
353
00:14:13,705 --> 00:14:15,025
Oh, shit!
354
00:14:15,505 --> 00:14:17,385
Right, I'll take left,
you take right.
355
00:14:23,585 --> 00:14:24,585
You shit...
356
00:14:26,705 --> 00:14:28,665
I can't see!
357
00:14:28,705 --> 00:14:31,105
Ow! My eyes!
358
00:14:38,305 --> 00:14:39,385
It's me, you daft...
359
00:14:40,265 --> 00:14:41,985
- How many fingers...
- One.
360
00:14:42,025 --> 00:14:43,665
Brilliant. That'll do. In the van.
361
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,025
Get in in the fucking van...
362
00:14:48,945 --> 00:14:50,185
Get in, JJ!
363
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:53,385
Wait! Hey!
364
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:57,783
That's not fucking JJ!
365
00:14:58,654 --> 00:14:59,562
JJ?!
366
00:14:59,562 --> 00:15:01,025
Go, go, go...
367
00:15:01,065 --> 00:15:02,865
I'll get the other van!
368
00:15:27,807 --> 00:15:28,807
Hi, Erin.
369
00:15:29,727 --> 00:15:30,727
Hi...
370
00:15:31,487 --> 00:15:34,456
- Arr-on?
- It's, uh... it's Aaron.
371
00:15:34,481 --> 00:15:36,401
Like, air-on.
372
00:15:37,681 --> 00:15:39,863
- Anyway, I...
- Can I show you something?
373
00:15:41,681 --> 00:15:43,862
- Uh... yeah, OK. Where?
- Just...
374
00:15:43,887 --> 00:15:45,076
- Through?
- Yeah.
375
00:15:49,314 --> 00:15:52,481
It's our old playroom, me and Jake.
376
00:15:53,603 --> 00:15:56,681
Spent a lot of time in here as kids.
377
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,161
Brothers, you know...
378
00:15:58,389 --> 00:16:01,601
- Very competitive with each other.
- I bet.
379
00:16:02,681 --> 00:16:05,641
- You got a sibling?
- Uh, yeah. I've got a brother.
380
00:16:05,681 --> 00:16:07,560
A bit of a moron.
381
00:16:08,121 --> 00:16:10,201
Me and Jake were SO competitive.
382
00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:14,194
But, um...
383
00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:16,995
You wanna know something?
384
00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:18,961
Yeah...
385
00:16:20,561 --> 00:16:21,641
I'm better than him.
386
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:27,801
- Right...
- At everything, Erin.
387
00:16:29,361 --> 00:16:31,761
I'm a stallion. He's a gelding.
388
00:16:33,739 --> 00:16:35,560
And I've had that confirmed.
389
00:16:37,241 --> 00:16:38,320
So you know...
390
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:44,795
Word.
391
00:16:48,187 --> 00:16:49,187
Look in there.
392
00:16:51,086 --> 00:16:53,240
They haven't even fucking
nicked everything!
393
00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:55,000
Yeah... but they took
the drawers, though.
394
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,200
Where's the chairs?
395
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,680
Mate? Eh?
396
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,400
Where's the fucking chaise longue?
Your fault, this is!
397
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,840
- My fault?
- Yes! Your fault!
398
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,200
Follow 'em, he says.
399
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,480
Yeah, cos I thought
they were gonna take it all!
400
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,160
What the fuck
were I supposed to do, dude?
401
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,440
Hang on till they'd gone, take
whatever they didn't want?
402
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,640
Bollocks!
403
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,560
This is a cock-up, this.
I'm having them drawers.
404
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:16,640
Like fuck you're having them.
Them's for McCann.
405
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,876
Why do you want drawers
in your pervy sex room, anyway?
406
00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:22,446
- What you gonna fucking keep in 'em?
- Lots of things, actually, mate.
407
00:17:22,471 --> 00:17:23,622
Lube...
408
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,320
Do you know what,
just fucking have 'em!
409
00:17:32,022 --> 00:17:34,117
Right, I'm off.
I've got a headache, yeah?
410
00:17:34,142 --> 00:17:37,440
Cos this bellend here dropped
a ship's anchor on my bonnet...
411
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,600
- Don't storm off.
- No, mate... Took it too far.
412
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:40,640
Don't storm...
413
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,840
What the fuck are you laughing at?
414
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,080
Your eyes are fucked, dude.
415
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,800
Get in the van.
416
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,760
- I don't need that shit, Jake.
- I know...
417
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,120
- Do you know what I mean?
- It's just Aaron.
418
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,040
He...
He's got a weird sense of humour.
419
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,400
Yeah, it's fucking weird.
420
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,871
I'll talk with him.
421
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,920
Look, go back in...
422
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,160
...have a drink.
423
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,200
Please.
424
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,840
- OK...
- Thank you.
425
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,120
Do you, um... Do you like 'em?
426
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,540
Where'd you get 'em?
427
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,120
Fell into my possession.
428
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,640
- Where?
- The museum.
429
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,840
Someone robbed the museum,
so we robbed them.
430
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:25,880
Stolen items...
431
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,720
There's gonna be
a whole shitshow, Vin.
432
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,175
This is Regency, 1800s.
433
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,208
Right...
434
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,720
- Shall I... Shall I give 'em back?
- Give 'em back?
435
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,720
No, you will not
fucking give 'em back.
436
00:18:39,109 --> 00:18:41,640
This is a very nice piece
of furniture.
437
00:18:41,664 --> 00:18:42,910
Huh...
438
00:18:42,911 --> 00:18:44,471
But it can't come in the house.
439
00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:46,360
I know a man who can
look after it for me.
440
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,480
I'll give him a call in the morning.
441
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,120
- Can you hang on to it until tomorrow?
- Yeah, course, yeah.
442
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,760
Good lad.
Now get the fuck out of here.
443
00:19:00,498 --> 00:19:01,880
What the fuck's this?
444
00:19:12,328 --> 00:19:14,568
Sometimes there's SO MUCH snow,
like last year.
445
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,364
So much snow,
they had to close the slopes...
446
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,163
Am I all right to get some water?
447
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,280
- Two minutes.
- Thank you.
448
00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:22,255
♪ Another day ♪
449
00:19:22,985 --> 00:19:24,385
♪ Oh, what a wonder ♪
450
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,240
♪ Oh, what a waste ♪
451
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,480
♪ It's a Monday ♪
452
00:19:29,362 --> 00:19:30,602
♪ It's so mundane ♪
453
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,240
♪ What exciting things
will happen today? ♪
454
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,040
♪ All of a sudden ♪
455
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,280
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪
456
00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:44,013
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪
457
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,840
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪
458
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:49,920
All right, this is Dylan.
459
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,800
Leave a message,
unless you're Vinnie.
460
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,560
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪
461
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,200
- Oh, fuck!
- I'm armed!
462
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,920
It's fucking me, you knobhead!
463
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,200
There's five of us in here!
464
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,120
Oh, yeah, and two... two dogs!
465
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,960
So, whoever you are,
you're outnumbered!
466
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,160
It's me!
467
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,040
I know my rights!
468
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,360
Oh, fuck!
469
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,680
I can blow your brains out and
no judge in the land'll convict me!
470
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,760
It's fucking... It's Vinnie!
471
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,040
Put the fucking gun down!
472
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,480
- Vinnie?
- Yeah!
473
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,080
Oh, what you doing?
474
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,557
I thought you were
an immigrant!
475
00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:45,119
Why the fuck would I
be immigrants?
476
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,320
What do you want?
477
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,000
I thought you were going
back to your shack.
478
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,640
Yeah, I know, but...
479
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,760
It's not a bed and breakfast, Vin.
480
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,880
I'm not Airbnb.
481
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,000
I mean, I didn't mind
when your dick was on the line,
482
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,300
but you're just taking the piss now.
483
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,380
I know, but fuck... I need a favour.
484
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,960
Come on!
485
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,440
Now, be careful!
Don't rip the wallpaper!
486
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,320
Are you fucking serious?
487
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,080
Did you wipe your feet, coming in?
488
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:15,040
- Your carpets are so fucked up, dude.
- That's vintage, that carpet.
489
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,520
And don't scratch the paintwork.
490
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,160
Don't scratch the edge, dude.
491
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,320
- Where are we putting it?
- In the guest room.
492
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,000
- What fucking guests do you have?
- Hey, I have guests!
493
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,560
- Like who?
- Like fucking... People of note!
494
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,360
People you wouldn't even
never have heard of!
495
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,200
Honestly, four months
I've been in that weed shed,
496
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,120
you've had a fucking guest room
this entire time...
497
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,600
- Stop fucking moaning.
- Unbelievable.
498
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,320
Fucking... Jesus Christ...
499
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,575
- What?
- It's a bit patriotic, in't it?
500
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,040
All my own work.
501
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,480
I got someone in for that.
502
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,600
An Englishman's home is his castle.
503
00:21:48,327 --> 00:21:51,840
Sing the national anthem
and I'll let you stay the night.
504
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:53,280
Christ...
505
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,040
It's like AirBNP.
506
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,080
Knobhead...
507
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,600
Oh!
508
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,320
- I hope she isn't pretty.
- Why?
509
00:22:33,865 --> 00:22:35,780
Because. For you.
510
00:22:36,082 --> 00:22:39,042
What's better,
he's going out with an absolute minger?
511
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:43,880
- Hiya...
- Hi.
512
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,160
Pretend not to look,
but I think I'm being followed.
513
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,520
Followed?
514
00:22:51,839 --> 00:22:55,960
By your ex? Or...
by secret police?
515
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,480
Uh... by stalkers.
516
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,000
- Stalkers?
- Mmm.Oh.
517
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:05,480
Oh, no...
518
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,680
- They're kissing.
- Oh, great.
519
00:23:09,214 --> 00:23:10,800
It wasn't passionate.
520
00:23:11,579 --> 00:23:13,360
Well, have they stopped?
521
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:15,840
Hang on...
522
00:23:17,765 --> 00:23:19,480
No. Still going.
523
00:23:23,336 --> 00:23:25,320
Uh, I think...
524
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,200
I think you've made your point.
525
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,320
I haven't.
526
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,120
- Now?
- Still going.
527
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:34,960
Still...
528
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,240
Oh, she is pretty...
529
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,160
Wait... Oh, no. Still.
530
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480
They've stopped.
531
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,040
Jesus...
532
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,200
- Oh, do you think they saw us?
- How should I know?!
533
00:23:51,598 --> 00:23:54,120
This is fucking crazy!
What am I doing?
534
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,160
He doesn't want her.
535
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,600
He's just trying to
make you jealous.
536
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,240
Sugar, I got rid of his kid.
I broke his heart, right...
537
00:24:02,454 --> 00:24:04,920
We're done.
I need to get on with my life.
538
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,960
Come on.
539
00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:16,280
What?!
540
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:19,960
Where's Vinnie?
541
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,960
- He's in bed, why?
- He's wanted.
542
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,720
So, go and get him out your bed
and into my car.
543
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,300
He's not in my bed!
544
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,000
Do I look like
I sleep with younger men?
545
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,200
Do I?
546
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,320
Do I look like some kind of
fucking perv?!
547
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,600
Just fucking get him.
548
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,400
Inside. Now.
549
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,200
Call me suspicious, Vin,
550
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,400
but the very night you bring round
some rare drawers to my house,
551
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,480
this happens...
552
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,600
Yeah, fuck, it's connected.
553
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:55,920
These are the dickheads
we robbed them off.
554
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,920
- This is my home!
- I know...
555
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,455
- I'm really sorry. Did they break in?
- No, too much security.
556
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,455
And this clown
fell over a chiminea.
557
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,600
Woke up my wife.
They legged it.
558
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,240
I was just trying to do
a good thing, I...
559
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,240
- Can I fix it?
- How?
560
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,388
Fuck, I don't know...
561
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,372
I just can't fathom how they...
562
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,467
The jacket...
563
00:25:24,344 --> 00:25:25,344
Look...
564
00:25:26,264 --> 00:25:27,655
Fucking phone...
565
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,320
I dumped this in here last night.
566
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:30,000
They've found it,
567
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,140
assumed the drawers
were in your house.
568
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,920
I'll fix it. I'm sorry.
569
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,080
Hang on, stop...
570
00:25:37,229 --> 00:25:40,180
Why would they go to all this
trouble for a set of drawers?
571
00:25:43,580 --> 00:25:45,460
Why don't we ring 'em up,
572
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,000
tell 'em we've got their drawers,
573
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,400
tell them we want five hundred quid,
574
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,040
and then when they come,
we jump them.
575
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,080
Find out who they are.
576
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,520
- What if they're armed?
- Armed?
577
00:25:52,544 --> 00:25:54,415
What is it with you
and armed at the moment?
578
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,280
This bleeding thing
has a passcode on it.
579
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,584
Statistically, you're four times
more likely to get stabbed
580
00:25:58,608 --> 00:25:59,760
than get cystitis.
581
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,720
- Where the fucks that? Los Cabos?
- The UK, man. I'm telling you.
582
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,400
Yeah, statistically,
that sounds like total nonsense.
583
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,080
Why don't we just leave the phone on
at a new location
584
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:09,520
and see if they come again.
585
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,200
- Where are the drawers now?
- Jim's farm.
586
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,960
Right, so, we go there and we wait.
587
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,160
If they see their van, they'll think
they're in business, it's perfect.
588
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,440
All right, lads.
589
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,975
Oh, it's fucking getting worse.
590
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,360
She even did a makeover on Nigel.
Look...
591
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,480
He smells like lavender, dude.
592
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,000
THIS is exactly why
I don't get into relationships.
593
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,680
In case you get heavily made over?
594
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,720
They always try and change you,
don't they.
595
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:34,760
I say to women now,
596
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,055
"This is who I am.
Take it or leave it."
597
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,015
- And that doesn't put them off, no?
- It does, yeah...
598
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,760
How'd you fancy a night-long
stakeout in a shitty pig shed?
599
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,520
Can we have coffee and doughnuts?
600
00:26:45,544 --> 00:26:46,960
Can have as many as you want, mate.
601
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,760
- And no wheatgrass.
- There will be no wheatgrass.
602
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,080
Yes...
No more wheatgrass!
603
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,280
All right...
604
00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:01,000
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with... P.
605
00:27:01,993 --> 00:27:03,120
- P.
- Pig.
606
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,920
Why would it be...
We've had pig twice.
607
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:05,840
Piss-take, lads.
608
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:07,160
We have to sit in this cold barn
609
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:09,760
when there's a lovely warm
farmhouse round the corner.
610
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,015
- Swill?
- That's a fucking S!
611
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,615
- Pigswill?
- No!
612
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,895
- Pricks!
- I didn't know you were playing!
613
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,040
Who last used my indoor bog?
614
00:27:18,571 --> 00:27:20,840
- Why?
- I'll tell you why.
615
00:27:21,228 --> 00:27:23,840
Cos someone's left an unsinkable.
616
00:27:24,290 --> 00:27:25,788
I'm not having it, Vin.
617
00:27:25,828 --> 00:27:29,468
It's just sitting there, rent-free,
like it fucking lives there.
618
00:27:29,508 --> 00:27:32,748
- Just pump the handle!
- I've pumped the fucking handle!
619
00:27:32,788 --> 00:27:34,530
Who's the perpetrator?
620
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,828
Oh, like that, is it?
621
00:27:37,868 --> 00:27:39,868
Well, fine... I've got all night.
622
00:27:39,908 --> 00:27:41,628
But I'll tell you this...
623
00:27:41,668 --> 00:27:45,000
No one leaves this room
until the culprit's found!
624
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,320
Phf! Intense!
625
00:27:48,508 --> 00:27:49,508
Hmm...
626
00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:51,520
I thought it was gone.
627
00:27:51,944 --> 00:27:53,424
Well, it fucking hasn't!
628
00:27:53,464 --> 00:27:55,944
- What've you been eating?
- Mainly protein.
629
00:27:55,984 --> 00:27:57,455
Get back in there!
630
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,360
Knife and fork! Deal with it!
631
00:28:02,113 --> 00:28:03,993
Hey, Ashley, chop, chop.
632
00:28:08,037 --> 00:28:11,640
Oi, lads...
Lads, there's someone round there.
633
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,680
Oh...
634
00:28:25,489 --> 00:28:26,880
You, you bastard!
635
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,440
Stay calm!
636
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,000
Stay calm!
637
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,760
Don't panic! Stop fighting! Stop it!
638
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,080
Just settle down, man.
We're not gonna hurt you.
639
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,140
We're just gonna ask you
some questions, all right.
640
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,840
- Evening.
- What the fuck are you doing here?!
641
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,440
Trying to find my post rammer!
I know you've had it off me!
642
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,680
Have I balls!
643
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:48,000
Stainless steel, solid metal cap.
I saw him admiring it.
644
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:49,280
He's talking crap!
645
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,480
Post rammer? I'll ram you!
646
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,120
- What?
- What?
647
00:28:54,394 --> 00:28:56,440
- With my fist!
- Oh...
648
00:28:57,338 --> 00:28:58,280
Fucking hell...
649
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,560
What you all doing, anyway?
650
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,120
Sneaking around in the dark,
sticking bags on heads...
651
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:03,960
We're expecting visitors. Thieves.
652
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,200
- Thieves?
- Yeah.
653
00:29:05,224 --> 00:29:06,439
Told you they were coming, did they?
654
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,400
In a manner of speaking,
they did, yeah.
655
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,280
I just passed a
bunch of posh blokes
656
00:29:10,305 --> 00:29:12,429
with their car stuck in a ditch,
but they didn't look like thieves.
657
00:29:12,429 --> 00:29:14,365
- Where were this?
- Down the lane.
658
00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:16,000
Posh cursing, they were.
659
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,360
Looked like they needed
a nice rioja... hey!
660
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,280
♪ The hardest button to button ♪
661
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,960
♪ The hardest button to button ♪
662
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,200
- Need any help, fellas?
- We're fine, thank you.
663
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,600
Oh, no, no, no... We insist.
664
00:29:32,061 --> 00:29:33,061
"We"?
665
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,480
Shit! Run!
666
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:41,200
No way...
667
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,080
Mr Bates!
668
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,000
Vinnie!
669
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,600
Vincent O'Neill.
You taught me History.
670
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:48,920
He taught me History, this geezer.
671
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,160
- Vincent... how's it going?
- Yeah, I'm doing all right.
672
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,800
How's your dad?
673
00:29:53,824 --> 00:29:55,824
He's fucked.
Still an alcoholic, in't he?
674
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:59,520
- How you doing? You still teaching?
- Early retirement.
675
00:29:59,544 --> 00:30:00,159
Yeah?
676
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,040
I assume you've all come for
the erotic drawers, have yer?
677
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,480
Why'd you want 'em?
678
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,692
Well, they're just very appealing,
aren't they?
679
00:30:07,692 --> 00:30:08,479
Yeah...
680
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,814
- We're enthusiasts, aren't we, chaps?
- Yeah, yeah.
681
00:30:10,839 --> 00:30:12,240
Sounds like bollocks.
682
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,760
In school, we're always
taught not to lie, aren't we?
683
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,600
- You did, though. Often.
- Oi, that's not the point...
684
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:18,720
We want the truth.
685
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,000
We can either do it the easy way
or the hard way.
686
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,920
So, why do you want
the erotic drawers?
687
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,175
It's your time you're wasting.
688
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,040
All right, fuck it. Torture 'em.
689
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,480
Everyone grab someone beige.
690
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:31,760
Wait! No, no! Get off!
691
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,800
Fill that bucket and flick his ears.
692
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:41,640
Ow!
693
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:42,760
Never mind "ow"...
694
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:43,960
Gonna go and get my cane.
695
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,400
I swear to God, I'm not gonna
stop till someone cracks here.
696
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,840
You're in Guantanamo now, lads.
Don't make me start on your feet.
697
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,080
That house you tried to rob
belongs to Terence McCann,
698
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,640
and if you don't know who that is,
let me tell you,
699
00:30:53,664 --> 00:30:55,600
you don't want him in your life.
700
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,000
You've done well for yourself,
Vinnie... thief, hostage taker.
701
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,840
Maybe if you'd made your lessons
a bit more interesting,
702
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,360
I'd have paid more attention.
703
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,200
Do you know what we used to
call you in school? Masterbater.
704
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,120
Smelly-Belly Dog Breath. Fuck Face.
705
00:31:08,495 --> 00:31:09,575
The Drone.
706
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,680
Because of the droney way
you'd harp on, man.
707
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,480
Well, Carl Slater
liked my lessons,
708
00:31:13,504 --> 00:31:14,679
and he's done
very well for himself.
709
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,960
Carl Slater bums dog, don't he?
710
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,360
I tell you what,
711
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,040
bell him up and tell him
you've been nicking antiques.
712
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,200
Let's see how much he wants to be
your pal then.
713
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,480
You becoming a thief...
714
00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:27,260
I mean, honestly, might be the most
interesting thing you've ever done.
715
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:28,540
You're middle-aged men.
716
00:31:28,580 --> 00:31:31,200
You should be home, real ale,
discussing cruise holidays...
717
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,440
I don't know what you do.
718
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,880
There's a reason
you've all gone to these lengths.
719
00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:36,520
And I wanna know why.
720
00:31:38,020 --> 00:31:39,180
Take their shoes off.
721
00:31:39,220 --> 00:31:41,460
No, no, no, no! OK, OK, OK! OK!
722
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:45,820
We're a secret history group.
723
00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:48,980
We're all of us experts
in different fields.
724
00:31:49,020 --> 00:31:52,860
And we go deep
into historical research.
725
00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:55,820
We've discovered
a little-known secret
726
00:31:55,860 --> 00:31:57,820
about the drawers
in your possession.
727
00:31:57,875 --> 00:31:59,360
It could be apocryphal...
728
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,440
- What does that mean?
- Made-up.
729
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,760
The story goes that the maker of
the furniture, Emmanuel Dasigie,
730
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,960
was so fearful his work
would be seized,
731
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,520
that he hid some of
his more extreme creations.
732
00:32:13,260 --> 00:32:16,300
The story goes that,
before his death, he drew a map.
733
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:20,888
Concealed it inside
a piece of furniture in his house.
734
00:32:21,063 --> 00:32:24,420
We believe
it's inside those drawers.
735
00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:27,260
- Are you for real?
- Treasure map. That's unbelievable.
736
00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:31,180
Craziest thing I've ever heard.
It's fairy tale stuff.
737
00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:35,240
So, you stole the drawers
to try and find the map.
738
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:38,300
Untie him.
739
00:32:39,340 --> 00:32:40,340
Just him.
740
00:32:41,020 --> 00:32:43,340
Oi! Feet!
741
00:32:44,460 --> 00:32:45,460
Fuck sake, dude.
742
00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:48,280
You've been told a load of crap.
There's no fucking map here, man.
743
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,745
It must be! It has to be!
744
00:32:49,745 --> 00:32:51,780
All our evidence suggests...
745
00:32:51,820 --> 00:32:53,220
Try those legs!
746
00:32:53,260 --> 00:32:55,360
- I've tried the legs!
- Well, twist them! Press them!
747
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,760
I've tried! It's concealed!
It has to be here somewhere!
748
00:32:57,828 --> 00:32:58,971
No! There's nothing!
749
00:32:58,996 --> 00:33:01,880
Looks like your story
was apocalyptic after all.
750
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,240
Hey, hang about...
751
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,600
That line... see it?
752
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,460
It's not the same colour
as the rest of the wood.
753
00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,180
That's not a flush join.
754
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:14,980
He's right...
755
00:33:15,620 --> 00:33:16,700
What about...
756
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:19,540
We'll give it a little...
757
00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:23,060
Oh...
758
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,860
Oh, fuck. No way...
759
00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:29,358
No fucking way, man.
760
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:32,780
Call me a genius.
761
00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:36,860
I might be a simple farmer,
but I'm an Englishman...
762
00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:37,480
All right.
763
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:38,960
...with an Englishman's heart.
764
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,800
Jim, Jim, Jim! Shut the fuck up!
765
00:33:44,980 --> 00:33:47,140
That's a fucking map!
766
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:50,020
No, no, no, no, no...
767
00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:53,380
This is OUR plan,
and you boys just stumbled upon it.
768
00:33:53,420 --> 00:33:55,280
Yeah, well,
that might be the case,
769
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,880
but we're
professional thieves... ish.
770
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,040
You know...
And you lot are fucking useless.
771
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,808
Hardly!
772
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,680
We got the drawers, didn't we?
773
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,800
Yeah... yeah, you did.
And then we nicked 'em off you.
774
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,944
And you knocked over a fucking chiminea,
robbing the wrong...
775
00:34:08,944 --> 00:34:12,160
- Chiminea.
- Chim-in-ea, robbing the wrong house.
776
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,760
And then you got
your fucking car stuck in a ditch.
777
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:15,640
He's got a point.
778
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,400
And if you rob that stately home,
779
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:19,840
you're all gonna get caught
and no one's finding shit.
780
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,440
So, here's what I propose...
781
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,360
Now, I'd say nine out of ten
of our jobs go...
782
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,860
Seven, if you're lucky.
783
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,120
Seven out of ten of our jobs...
784
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:30,720
Six-and-a-half, innit, really.
785
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,280
Well... six.
786
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,720
Six out of ten of our jobs
go relatively well.
787
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,080
And up till now, none of yours have.
788
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:38,840
All right?
789
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,160
So, you either say yeah,
790
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,520
and potentially come away
with a bit of loot here,
791
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,960
or you say no,
I tell Terence McCann your names,
792
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,960
we let the fucking cards fall
where they may, what you saying?
793
00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:49,800
OK...
794
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:51,320
- But we come with you
- Yeah...
795
00:34:51,344 --> 00:34:51,759
On the job.
796
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,080
This is OUR adventure,
and we want to be there.
797
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:55,473
Absolutely not.
798
00:34:55,513 --> 00:34:57,400
You've got more chance
of seeing a one legged-dog
799
00:34:57,424 --> 00:34:58,839
shitting on a frozen pond.
800
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,040
That's fucking final.
801
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,295
This is fun!
Thanks for letting us come!
802
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:05,400
Shh! Lads! Lads!
803
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,760
Just shut the fuck up!
804
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,600
We're on a fucking robbery!
805
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:27,600
All right, listen...
806
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,040
Positions.
807
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,000
You two take the right,
you two are gonna take the left.
808
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,680
You keep dog eye
while we do the cutting, all right?
809
00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:37,600
If you see anyone, walkie-talkies.
810
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:38,640
Go on.
811
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,440
Check this out...
812
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:42,880
Couple of bloody pros here.
813
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,800
We're gonna be in here
in five minutes.
814
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,540
Last one.
815
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,760
Do you see what I mean?
Do you see what I mean...
816
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,120
Oh, shit!
817
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,480
Move it! Hurry the fuck up, dude!
818
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,520
It's my knees...
819
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,880
- Well, that's it. We've blown it.
- We need to get out of here.
820
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,240
Honestly,
that's an amateur response.
821
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,320
What we're gonna do,
we're gonna stay here, all right?
822
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,320
Right here, quiet.
823
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,120
- What?
- Christ...
824
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,640
I said,
"We're gonna stay here, quiet."
825
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:32,680
Ah...
826
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:35,960
Cos pound to a penny, no fucker
comes out tonight to reset that system.
827
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,560
♪ Cos I'm a cowboy ♪
828
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,320
♪ On a steel horse, I ride ♪
829
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:51,626
Had a thought earlier.
830
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:52,920
Yeah?
831
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,400
We could have just come
during visiting hours.
832
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:58,040
You what?
833
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,660
I mean... we didn't need to
break in, did we?
834
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,680
We could have just paid
and walked in as tourists.
835
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,380
That's a much better idea.
836
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,520
Sandman, come in Sandman.
This is Beaver Three.
837
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,040
Any sign of intruders, Beaver Three?
838
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,560
Negative. Over.
839
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,480
Has the site been penetrated,
Beaver Three?
840
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,520
Negative, Sandman.
No sign of penetration.
841
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,960
Then I suggest
we leave this to the morning shift.
842
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,520
Affirmative, Sandman. Over.
843
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,160
Oh...
844
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,000
♪ Show me ♪
845
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:56,520
♪ Show me ♪
846
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,120
- Do you know, this...
- Yeah?
847
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,280
This is like a proper...
848
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,080
Like, Indiana Jones...
849
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:12,780
Shit.
850
00:38:17,796 --> 00:38:20,440
You've fucking broke that now,
ain't you, you bellend?
851
00:38:20,465 --> 00:38:21,760
S-s-ssorry...
852
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,760
Can only take you somewhere twice.
Once is to apologise.
853
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,120
Now get the fuck down there.
854
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,080
Right... according to the map,
855
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,760
secret door's
somewhere across that wall there...
856
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,740
And the mechanism for said door...
857
00:38:44,359 --> 00:38:46,359
is... up there.
858
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,120
Right, who fancies lifting me up?
Not you.
859
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,320
Right. Go on, Tom.
860
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,160
Oh, oh...
861
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,200
Fucking hell...
862
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,080
It's stuck.
863
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:56,920
Try again.
864
00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,400
Do you think?
865
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,032
Cos I was just gonna fuck it off
after all this trouble, go home.
866
00:39:02,032 --> 00:39:04,240
- Lemon.
- Christ, you've a bony arse.
867
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:05,760
I told him that last week.
868
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,210
- Why were you feeling his arse?
- You're killing my shoulders, Vin.
869
00:39:08,210 --> 00:39:11,530
Well, know what, your big fat head's
mashing my balls to smithereens.
870
00:39:11,570 --> 00:39:13,570
We've all got
our fucking crosses to bear.
871
00:39:14,838 --> 00:39:15,537
Got it.
872
00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:16,370
Oh...
873
00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:19,655
- You've got it. It's open.
- You've done it.
874
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:21,084
Put me down, Ash.
875
00:39:21,610 --> 00:39:23,410
Mr Bates, get the fuck out of way...
876
00:39:23,450 --> 00:39:25,880
Let's all queue up,
like we did at school.
877
00:39:28,690 --> 00:39:29,690
Ah!
878
00:39:29,730 --> 00:39:31,320
Come on, lads...
879
00:39:33,011 --> 00:39:35,480
This is doing nothing
for my claustrophobia.
880
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,011
It's like a Berlin sex party.
881
00:39:44,051 --> 00:39:47,480
There's something ahead,
an opening!
882
00:39:48,051 --> 00:39:49,051
Like I say...
883
00:39:49,091 --> 00:39:51,891
It's here! It's bloody here!
884
00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,411
The secret room!
885
00:39:53,451 --> 00:39:54,531
We've found it!
886
00:39:54,571 --> 00:39:56,856
Holy shit...
887
00:39:56,959 --> 00:39:59,491
Such an adventure...
888
00:39:59,531 --> 00:40:00,531
Fuck...
889
00:40:01,411 --> 00:40:02,971
It's a cleaning rota.
890
00:40:03,011 --> 00:40:05,400
No one's been here
since 197-fucking-5.
891
00:40:06,038 --> 00:40:08,571
Fucking coffee cups
and shit like a bed down there.
892
00:40:08,611 --> 00:40:11,011
This is where the staff
came to skive off, this.
893
00:40:11,051 --> 00:40:12,051
It can't be!
894
00:40:12,491 --> 00:40:16,731
All our research suggests this is
Emmanuel's secret storage space.
895
00:40:16,771 --> 00:40:18,760
All your research, eh?
896
00:40:18,931 --> 00:40:21,275
I'm sure Emanuel
is up in heaven right now,
897
00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:22,931
laughing himself silly over this,
898
00:40:22,971 --> 00:40:24,934
sat in a massive cock-shaped harp.
899
00:40:26,132 --> 00:40:27,171
Fuck!
900
00:40:27,211 --> 00:40:28,400
Fuck it...
901
00:40:28,971 --> 00:40:30,560
Let's smoke a spliff.
902
00:40:32,611 --> 00:40:34,200
- Cheers, lads.
- Nice one.
903
00:40:34,224 --> 00:40:35,560
Have a good night.
904
00:40:37,291 --> 00:40:40,175
Arr-on. I mean, Aaron...
hat you doing here?
905
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:43,640
Is this...
I thought you worked in a wine bar.
906
00:40:45,171 --> 00:40:46,811
- The chances of this...
- Mmm...
907
00:40:46,851 --> 00:40:48,640
Incredible coincidence.
908
00:40:49,131 --> 00:40:51,451
- How about I buy you a drink?
- How about you go home?
909
00:40:51,491 --> 00:40:53,651
Oh, hang on...
We got off to a bad start.
910
00:40:53,691 --> 00:40:55,171
I apologise.
911
00:40:55,211 --> 00:40:57,691
- Let me buy you a drink.
- No, thanks. I'm good.
912
00:40:57,731 --> 00:40:59,040
Your choice.
913
00:40:59,531 --> 00:41:01,600
But if you're gonna be
serious with my brother,
914
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,160
we need to at least... get on.
915
00:41:06,371 --> 00:41:08,200
- How much is entry?
- Ten.
916
00:41:10,211 --> 00:41:11,480
Tenner it is.
917
00:41:14,491 --> 00:41:15,491
Thank you.
918
00:41:16,971 --> 00:41:18,971
I hope they look like you in there.
919
00:41:31,491 --> 00:41:33,131
Hey... Hi.
920
00:41:33,171 --> 00:41:34,171
Um...
921
00:41:35,851 --> 00:41:37,680
- It's over.
- What?
922
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:38,850
Me and you, Jake. It's over.
923
00:41:38,851 --> 00:41:40,931
OK, I'm sorry. It's just...
It's not right.
924
00:41:40,971 --> 00:41:41,971
We're done.
925
00:41:42,011 --> 00:41:43,171
- Erin, I...
- No, Jake.
926
00:41:43,211 --> 00:41:45,091
Jake, you know it yourself,
all right?
927
00:41:45,131 --> 00:41:46,131
It's...
928
00:41:46,851 --> 00:41:47,851
I'm sorry.
929
00:41:49,131 --> 00:41:50,131
It's over.
930
00:41:50,891 --> 00:41:51,891
Erin...
931
00:41:54,451 --> 00:41:58,771
♪ When I was young,
younger than before ♪
932
00:42:02,891 --> 00:42:07,451
♪ I never saw the truth
hanging from the door ♪
933
00:42:16,331 --> 00:42:18,891
- Right...
- Go on, sod off, then.
934
00:42:18,931 --> 00:42:19,931
I need my bed.
935
00:42:19,971 --> 00:42:22,760
It was fun, that.Mmm...
An adventure.
936
00:42:24,531 --> 00:42:27,180
It's what we do, innit?
Adventures.
937
00:42:27,851 --> 00:42:29,931
It's an important lesson that,
though.
938
00:42:30,691 --> 00:42:33,120
You can't always come away
with gold, can you?
939
00:42:33,144 --> 00:42:34,480
No...
940
00:42:34,931 --> 00:42:35,931
But...
941
00:42:37,131 --> 00:42:38,440
...sometimes...
942
00:42:39,851 --> 00:42:41,680
...you can find...
943
00:42:42,691 --> 00:42:43,691
...silver.
944
00:42:44,531 --> 00:42:45,771
Where'd you find that?
945
00:42:45,811 --> 00:42:47,451
Found it in the, uh...
946
00:42:47,491 --> 00:42:49,280
...secret room.
947
00:42:49,531 --> 00:42:51,491
You know,
when we were having a spliff.
948
00:42:54,491 --> 00:42:55,491
No way...
949
00:42:56,331 --> 00:42:58,291
I didn't want
them teachers to have it.
950
00:42:58,331 --> 00:42:59,651
I wanted to give it to you.
951
00:42:59,691 --> 00:43:01,651
Eh? No, no, no...
952
00:43:01,691 --> 00:43:03,680
I can't take that off you.
That's finders keepers.
953
00:43:03,705 --> 00:43:05,800
No, no...
I want you to.
954
00:43:06,571 --> 00:43:07,571
Cos, uh...
955
00:43:08,331 --> 00:43:09,331
You know...
956
00:43:10,491 --> 00:43:11,491
You've been sad.
957
00:43:14,371 --> 00:43:17,771
I'm really glad, uh,
that you're alive again.
958
00:43:20,891 --> 00:43:21,891
Me, too.
959
00:43:22,851 --> 00:43:23,851
Love you, mate.
960
00:43:30,571 --> 00:43:32,451
- I love you, dude.
- I love you, too, man.
961
00:43:32,491 --> 00:43:34,451
- Look after yourself, yeah?
- All right...
962
00:43:37,291 --> 00:43:38,640
Go on. Sod off.
963
00:43:39,171 --> 00:43:41,491
♪ I once had a life ♪
964
00:43:41,531 --> 00:43:45,011
♪ Or rather, life had me ♪
965
00:43:45,531 --> 00:43:51,531
♪ I was one among many,
or at least I seemed to be ♪
966
00:43:52,411 --> 00:43:56,411
♪ Well, I read an old quotation
in a book... ♪
967
00:43:56,451 --> 00:43:58,480
Right, get your shit together.
968
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:01,040
Get your shit together,
we'll get out the fuck out of here.
969
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:02,167
Cardi, come on.
I'll buy you a kebab
970
00:44:02,167 --> 00:44:04,691
on the way home... all right.
971
00:44:05,371 --> 00:44:06,851
♪ Can you get to that? ♪
972
00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:14,207
Why don't you try a change of scene?
973
00:44:14,247 --> 00:44:16,207
See if that has any effect
on your dreams.
974
00:44:16,247 --> 00:44:17,807
Why don't you stop here tonight?
975
00:44:17,847 --> 00:44:19,360
You'd have the whole pub
to yourself.
976
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:20,440
They're all coked-up!
977
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:21,560
Oh...
978
00:44:23,615 --> 00:44:25,335
Some fucker's in the cellar.
979
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,680
What are you doing, anyway?
980
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,960
Oh... fuck!
981
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:29,840
Just chilling.
982
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,440
This is my friend Dylan.
983
00:44:31,464 --> 00:44:32,719
- Hi.
- Hi...
984
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:35,018
I made the woman I love
shit her pants.
985
00:44:35,043 --> 00:44:36,043
Wow.
70550
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