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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,313 --> 00:00:02,030 Previously on "You Me Her"... 2 00:00:02,048 --> 00:00:03,380 - Hey! - Mom? 3 00:00:03,967 --> 00:00:05,428 - Fuck! - She came! 4 00:00:05,444 --> 00:00:06,589 This is so perfect! 5 00:00:06,612 --> 00:00:08,679 - We're gonna be one big happy family. - We're doomed. 6 00:00:08,693 --> 00:00:10,888 - ? For me and my guy ? - What... what are you doing? 7 00:00:10,905 --> 00:00:13,328 Whenever I'm sad or blue or stressed, 8 00:00:13,339 --> 00:00:14,856 I just sing it all away. Come on. 9 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:16,762 Well, I don't feel sad. 10 00:00:16,771 --> 00:00:18,433 I am scared shitless. 11 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:20,900 We have a lot to do here, boys, 12 00:00:20,932 --> 00:00:22,791 and we need to finish these centerpieces, 13 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:25,532 because in 28 minutes, candle-making! 14 00:00:25,536 --> 00:00:28,012 This isn't a bachelor party. It's a sweatshop. 15 00:00:28,021 --> 00:00:29,532 That woman... she's an evil genius. 16 00:00:29,546 --> 00:00:32,963 You two have serious and progressive mental problems 17 00:00:32,986 --> 00:00:35,534 that will make living a normal life impossible. 18 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,675 That was basically a fireworks show of passion. 19 00:00:37,702 --> 00:00:39,884 Let's resume the wedding crashing and 20 00:00:39,921 --> 00:00:41,454 - go get our girl. - Yes. 21 00:00:41,491 --> 00:00:42,850 Sloppy Gilmore, just, uh, 22 00:00:42,873 --> 00:00:44,347 what do you think you're doing over there? 23 00:00:44,618 --> 00:00:45,927 I can't believe I'm gonna say this, 24 00:00:45,941 --> 00:00:48,905 but, lady, I need you to take your hands off of the other la... 25 00:00:48,955 --> 00:00:51,251 - [ALL GASP] - Someone should really confront that guy. 26 00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:52,739 - It's all in the eyes. - No. 27 00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:54,094 [GRUNTS] 28 00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,389 I was a heavyweight. 29 00:00:55,415 --> 00:00:56,741 [COUNTRY MUSIC] 30 00:00:56,792 --> 00:01:00,311 ? Well, I'm on my way, and I'm not afraid ? 31 00:01:00,346 --> 00:01:03,193 ? No, Lord, 'cause tonight... ? 32 00:01:03,290 --> 00:01:05,334 Okay, fuck. 33 00:01:05,638 --> 00:01:07,354 - Can you hold this? - Yeah. 34 00:01:07,429 --> 00:01:09,403 Okay, so what was it about the crazy eyes again? 35 00:01:09,421 --> 00:01:10,873 You got to do it like this, like... 36 00:01:11,108 --> 00:01:12,486 [GROWLS] Like all crazy and shit. 37 00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:14,795 - [GROWLS] - No, not like that. That's ugly. 38 00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:16,758 No, it's still ugly. Ew, 39 00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:18,066 it looks like you sat on something, 40 00:01:18,089 --> 00:01:19,759 and yet you're oddly enjoying it. 41 00:01:19,782 --> 00:01:20,953 You know what? Go with it, though. 42 00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,074 Maybe he'll think you're having a seizure 43 00:01:22,093 --> 00:01:23,447 and take pity on you, perhaps. 44 00:01:23,466 --> 00:01:24,894 I don't know, man. Is this 45 00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:27,062 that moment where I make the worst decision ever 46 00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:29,128 and end up walking sideways for the rest of my life? 47 00:01:29,151 --> 00:01:30,974 - May I take this one? - [SCOFFS] 48 00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:32,388 Great, thank you. 49 00:01:32,397 --> 00:01:34,248 Yes, it is that moment, Jack, but here's the thing. 50 00:01:34,265 --> 00:01:36,424 Nobody knows us here, so it's completely viable 51 00:01:36,453 --> 00:01:38,915 if we just all the sudden, all together 52 00:01:39,087 --> 00:01:41,239 turn very suddenly and run in the other direction. 53 00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:42,720 Wait, I don't get it. Why do we have to run? 54 00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:44,852 Yeah, Duffer McHuge is only calling out Trakarsky. 55 00:01:44,853 --> 00:01:45,853 That's true. 56 00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:47,321 Is he really that big? I don't want to turn around. 57 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:49,658 - He's super fucking huge. - Just... Okay, shush! 58 00:01:49,989 --> 00:01:51,040 Okay? 59 00:01:51,063 --> 00:01:52,858 The girlfriend you came here to win back 60 00:01:52,890 --> 00:01:54,020 is watching. 61 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:55,531 Nothing else matters. 62 00:01:55,563 --> 00:01:57,827 Hey, flyweight, getting bored over here. 63 00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,467 - You wussing out or what? - No, we're just... 64 00:01:59,504 --> 00:02:01,868 we're having a powwow here. 65 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,906 Oh, God, I hate to have to do this again. 66 00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,011 - What? [YELPS] - [CROWD GROANS] 67 00:02:06,097 --> 00:02:08,203 Jack, you don't have to do this, okay? 68 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,960 Remember what happened last time? 69 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:14,007 The body count you left behind? The blood? "Oh, the humanity!" 70 00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:15,702 Jack, the eyes! 71 00:02:15,737 --> 00:02:17,251 - What is that? - It's scary, right? 72 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,672 - Are you okay? Is something wrong? - No, no, it's just a thing I'm doing. 73 00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:20,981 It's unpredictable. 74 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,881 - What's happening? - This is happening. I can't control it. 75 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:25,985 - So it's just my eye thing. - All right, let's do it. I got that, too. 76 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:27,045 Jack, come here. Listen to me. 77 00:02:27,086 --> 00:02:29,511 Listen to me, okay? Just tell that big asshole 78 00:02:29,543 --> 00:02:31,598 that you're sorry and that you've just had too much to drink. 79 00:02:31,627 --> 00:02:33,953 Can you stop interrupting me, please? I'm about to fight. 80 00:02:34,027 --> 00:02:35,175 - Oh, my God. - Thank you for caring, though. 81 00:02:35,209 --> 00:02:37,542 - I really appreciate it All right, buddy, let's do it.. - I can't. 82 00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:39,167 I've seen more action at the high-school bake sale 83 00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:41,748 when I intentionally left the price tag on my cupcakes. 84 00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:44,282 No reason, just shaking shit up. 85 00:02:44,346 --> 00:02:45,844 Girl, you are weird, but I dig it. 86 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:47,135 - Mm-hmm. - [GROANING] 87 00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,651 - What is it? - Ah! Gluten sensitivity. 88 00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,474 - Are you okay? - Yeah, beer's the worst. 89 00:02:52,676 --> 00:02:54,253 Oh, beer's the worst. I know better. 90 00:02:54,254 --> 00:02:56,086 I have the same thing, the exact same thing. 91 00:02:56,107 --> 00:02:57,616 I really appreciate the support, man. 92 00:02:57,706 --> 00:02:59,331 This is just making me sad. 93 00:02:59,491 --> 00:03:01,513 [SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] 94 00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:02,730 Bye, guys. 95 00:03:03,852 --> 00:03:04,893 Iz! 96 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,072 Wait up. 97 00:03:08,037 --> 00:03:10,539 Hey, look, I know we didn't literally fight for you 98 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:11,962 in the traditional sense, but... 99 00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:13,529 Yeah, but we stood up for your honor. 100 00:03:13,587 --> 00:03:15,133 Hey, we're trying to win you back here. 101 00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,840 - I'm sorry if we suck at it... - You just don't listen to me, do you? 102 00:03:17,846 --> 00:03:19,152 - Huh? - What? 103 00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:21,749 [SCOFFS] You don't actually hear me. 104 00:03:21,813 --> 00:03:23,916 Just tell us what you want us to do. 105 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,237 It just doesn't matter. 106 00:03:26,986 --> 00:03:29,790 Just took over Lala's bachelorette party. 107 00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:31,962 It's always about you. 108 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,123 - [DOOR CLOSES] - Hey. Big Ginger. 109 00:03:39,181 --> 00:03:41,385 - What the hell are you doing here? - Ugh. Seriously, dude? 110 00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,740 You know you're gonna have to stand up to your feral little... 111 00:03:44,186 --> 00:03:47,506 your girlfriend, your beautiful girlfriend here, one day. 112 00:03:47,925 --> 00:03:50,469 Okay, so this is how it's gonna be now, 113 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,013 you Small Brunette? 114 00:03:53,045 --> 00:03:54,335 So he did take the advice. 115 00:03:54,351 --> 00:03:55,733 He's just really bad at it, so it's okay. 116 00:03:55,770 --> 00:03:57,735 You steppin' up on me now? Is that... 'cause no. 117 00:03:57,772 --> 00:03:59,902 - That's not happening anymore. - So I shouldn't be pissed? 118 00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:01,436 Meaning you guys did finish everything? 119 00:04:01,452 --> 00:04:04,990 Um, cigars, steaks, centerpieces, strung lights... 120 00:04:05,022 --> 00:04:06,891 I seriously hope that you're fucking with me right now, 121 00:04:06,923 --> 00:04:08,750 because the alternative is horrifying. 122 00:04:08,787 --> 00:04:10,232 Why, because I tricked you into 123 00:04:10,237 --> 00:04:11,836 - "doing all my dirty work"? - No! 124 00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:14,459 This is not an air quotes situation, Neen. 125 00:04:14,481 --> 00:04:17,933 You literally tricked me into doing your literal dirty work. 126 00:04:17,954 --> 00:04:19,122 And that hurt. 127 00:04:19,861 --> 00:04:21,316 Can I talk... 128 00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:25,033 Look, I am fucking drowning here, okay? 129 00:04:25,044 --> 00:04:27,455 I've been planning imaginary weddings my whole life, 130 00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:29,967 I thought it was gonna be a breeze, but it's not! 131 00:04:30,222 --> 00:04:33,473 Fuck, Shaun, there is so much to do, okay? 132 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,704 And I asked for your help because I know that you are 133 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,573 a get-shit-done motherfucker, Shaun Gilmore. 134 00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,639 And I'm sorry 135 00:04:39,677 --> 00:04:41,663 that you think that I was taking advantage of you 136 00:04:41,684 --> 00:04:43,463 and I made you feel that way. 137 00:04:43,881 --> 00:04:45,131 I'm sorry. 138 00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:48,184 [SOMBER MUSIC] 139 00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:50,167 Okay. 140 00:04:52,365 --> 00:04:54,230 So here's the thing, Neen... 141 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,634 When we leave here, 142 00:04:57,802 --> 00:05:00,239 we are either moving in together... 143 00:05:01,162 --> 00:05:04,008 or we are breaking up. Because I say so. 144 00:05:04,046 --> 00:05:07,312 Shaun, ple... I mean, are you seriously... 145 00:05:07,405 --> 00:05:11,067 ? ? 146 00:05:11,455 --> 00:05:13,823 - [STAMMERS] - Yeah, I am serious. 147 00:05:14,678 --> 00:05:16,505 [SIGHS, MOUTHS WORD] 148 00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:18,545 [SNIFFLES] 149 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:21,583 ? ? 150 00:05:21,619 --> 00:05:24,553 [INSECTS CHIRPING] 151 00:05:33,226 --> 00:05:34,681 - Hey, you. - Who are you? 152 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,427 What highly literate planet did you come from? 153 00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:38,239 And what have you done with my mother? 154 00:05:38,261 --> 00:05:40,082 Very funny. [CHUCKLES] 155 00:05:40,151 --> 00:05:42,844 I used to be quite the reader before the wheels fell off. 156 00:05:46,085 --> 00:05:47,444 So... 157 00:05:47,938 --> 00:05:49,027 What? 158 00:05:49,686 --> 00:05:51,077 What's the matter? 159 00:05:51,306 --> 00:05:54,824 Cross-addicted mom crashing your dad's wedding got your tongue? 160 00:05:54,851 --> 00:05:56,264 Um... 161 00:05:56,944 --> 00:05:58,303 I'm proud of you. 162 00:05:58,973 --> 00:06:00,040 Oh. 163 00:06:00,099 --> 00:06:01,794 Both of you, actually. 164 00:06:02,392 --> 00:06:04,998 - But, um... - Oh. [CHUCKLES] 165 00:06:05,561 --> 00:06:07,080 There it is. 166 00:06:08,098 --> 00:06:10,133 You know this isn't a good idea, right? 167 00:06:10,728 --> 00:06:12,247 First, it's the... 168 00:06:13,962 --> 00:06:16,717 And then... and then the shame and then the bourbon, 169 00:06:16,737 --> 00:06:18,611 and then that's where the trouble begins. 170 00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:22,392 And it just feels really irresponsible to stand by 171 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,591 and watch you two burn down the rest of his life. 172 00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,445 We're not those people anymore. 173 00:06:27,518 --> 00:06:29,679 Are you sure you haven't said those exact words, 174 00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:32,350 - like, a million times? - Yeah, I've said those exact words 175 00:06:32,382 --> 00:06:34,225 exactly like that a million times. 176 00:06:34,262 --> 00:06:36,217 No, listen. Now I really mean it. 177 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,182 We can't have closure over the phone. 178 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,945 Lala understood that. 179 00:06:39,977 --> 00:06:41,878 It's why she wouldn't take no for an answer. 180 00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:47,267 And I guess after years of learning to be this version of himself, 181 00:06:47,432 --> 00:06:52,239 this father, this... this husband, this Ben Silva, 182 00:06:52,594 --> 00:06:54,421 she wanted me to be here 183 00:06:54,671 --> 00:06:56,073 to see him "graduate." 184 00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,725 That's what she calls it. 185 00:06:58,075 --> 00:06:59,876 And she wanted him to turn around and... 186 00:06:59,881 --> 00:07:01,888 and see that I was okay, too. 187 00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:03,920 Then we can just... 188 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,314 we can move on. 189 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,724 [SIGHS] 190 00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:11,970 ? ? 191 00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,024 [SIGHS] 192 00:07:15,899 --> 00:07:19,300 Those two weirdos are pretty crazy about you. [CHUCKLES] 193 00:07:21,072 --> 00:07:23,151 Why are we... what are you saying, 194 00:07:23,184 --> 00:07:25,812 - that I should give them a chance? - Oh, no. [BLOWS RASPBERRY] God, no. 195 00:07:25,828 --> 00:07:26,975 That's a ridiculous idea. 196 00:07:26,996 --> 00:07:30,061 You moving into some suburban family's house 197 00:07:30,081 --> 00:07:32,238 and living forever and ever. That was a bit blunt, wasn't it? 198 00:07:32,248 --> 00:07:33,486 No, it... 199 00:07:34,569 --> 00:07:36,773 Maybe we should've been blunter. 200 00:07:37,719 --> 00:07:39,179 A little more honest. 201 00:07:39,285 --> 00:07:40,857 But we, um... 202 00:07:42,392 --> 00:07:43,954 we just got lost in it. 203 00:07:45,388 --> 00:07:47,135 Like parents, like daughter? 204 00:07:47,395 --> 00:07:49,833 - Maybe. - [LAUGHS] 205 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:53,904 You know, um, there is one thing I... I would like to know, though. 206 00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:55,093 - Um... - What? 207 00:07:55,094 --> 00:07:59,120 Does Jack really believe that he can sing? 208 00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,180 [LAUGHTER] 209 00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:03,978 - He does. - Oh, gosh. 210 00:08:04,014 --> 00:08:06,640 It's our fault. Emma and I... we, um... 211 00:08:07,584 --> 00:08:08,808 Just, Emma and I, we... 212 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:11,379 we would tell him over and over again how talented he is 213 00:08:11,387 --> 00:08:14,774 and to share his gift with the world. 214 00:08:15,975 --> 00:08:17,341 Sometimes I think he knows. 215 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:19,771 - He just doesn't want to ruin the fun. - Mm, that's nice. 216 00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,918 But he's ruined Steely Dan for me forever. 217 00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,964 Like, I'll never be able to listen to them again. 218 00:08:24,051 --> 00:08:27,182 He thinks it's "Stealing Dan," 219 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,147 - like... like he's a thief. - No. 220 00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:32,254 - And his name is Dan. - Shut the fu... 221 00:08:32,275 --> 00:08:33,524 And that is his nickname. 222 00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:35,295 What a... just massive dork head. 223 00:08:35,311 --> 00:08:36,638 - [LAUGHS] - Yes. 224 00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:37,768 He is. 225 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:39,599 They both are. 226 00:08:41,784 --> 00:08:42,845 Oh. 227 00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:45,666 Peanut... 228 00:08:46,452 --> 00:08:47,788 it does get better. 229 00:08:47,823 --> 00:08:49,290 - Oh, yeah? - [INHALES DEEPLY] 230 00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:51,457 Over time, it just... it gets a little better. 231 00:08:51,493 --> 00:08:52,656 And... 232 00:08:53,752 --> 00:08:55,388 before you know it, you can... 233 00:08:56,051 --> 00:08:57,669 think of him and smile. 234 00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:01,090 You said "him." 235 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,475 - No. - Yes, you did. 236 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,613 Just... I... okay. 237 00:09:03,638 --> 00:09:06,540 I meant "them," the Trakarskles. 238 00:09:06,668 --> 00:09:08,576 - What's their... 'cause... [LAUGHS] - You... 239 00:09:08,618 --> 00:09:11,210 - Mom, you know that's not their name. - [LAUGHS] Get over here. 240 00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,194 [LAUGHTER] 241 00:09:13,249 --> 00:09:15,756 - The Trakarskys. - The Trakarskys! 242 00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:19,861 Okay, you know, I kind of wish Duffer McDrunk 243 00:09:19,882 --> 00:09:21,540 got all up in my business, you know? So I could, 244 00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:23,843 like, show off my yoga fighting skills. 245 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:24,985 - Yoga fighting? - Hmm? 246 00:09:25,019 --> 00:09:26,990 - You said, "Yoga fighting." - I didn't. 247 00:09:28,286 --> 00:09:31,575 Okay, I happen to believe that my yoga skills translate to combat. 248 00:09:32,574 --> 00:09:34,953 I'm gonna put a pin in that and 249 00:09:34,985 --> 00:09:37,394 tell you some exciting news that's gonna cheer us both up. 250 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:40,795 - Go for it. - Okay, first we crashed the wedding, 251 00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:44,131 and that didn't work. And then you kind of started a brawl 252 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,976 at the bachelorette party, and that definitely didn't work. 253 00:09:45,992 --> 00:09:47,624 Uh, still waiting for the good part. 254 00:09:47,645 --> 00:09:49,401 Not only did we not get voted off the island, 255 00:09:49,500 --> 00:09:51,656 but she was deeply concerned about me getting hurt. 256 00:09:51,671 --> 00:09:53,408 Uh, yeah, I'd say she was, like, concerned 257 00:09:53,423 --> 00:09:56,157 in a minimally humane way, but go on. 258 00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:57,385 It's time to go big. 259 00:09:57,862 --> 00:09:59,271 It's time to strike. 260 00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,334 [SIGHS] We need to tell her we want to put 261 00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:04,851 - all the babies inside of her! - Ew. 262 00:10:04,862 --> 00:10:06,277 Maybe, you know, you can work on the message, 263 00:10:06,287 --> 00:10:07,857 because I am working on this, 264 00:10:07,878 --> 00:10:11,049 which is the medium, and it's lit! 265 00:10:11,355 --> 00:10:12,771 What do you think? 266 00:10:14,475 --> 00:10:15,931 Oh, you're gonna flash her. 267 00:10:15,973 --> 00:10:17,284 What? No. Um... 268 00:10:17,341 --> 00:10:18,538 Look, it's like... 269 00:10:19,196 --> 00:10:20,601 Touchdown. 270 00:10:20,614 --> 00:10:21,751 Goal? 271 00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:24,482 - I don't know. One of the sports things? - Yes! You got it, honey. 272 00:10:24,544 --> 00:10:26,591 Because I bought a trench coat 273 00:10:26,637 --> 00:10:29,145 to become a referee because how the fuck does that make sense? 274 00:10:29,156 --> 00:10:31,426 - I'm trying. - Okay, you know what? I can... 275 00:10:31,438 --> 00:10:33,499 - Here, look. - Huh? 276 00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:34,622 It's like... 277 00:10:39,732 --> 00:10:41,566 - You think we should go bigger? - Yes. 278 00:10:41,620 --> 00:10:43,369 Yes, it should definitely be bigger. 279 00:10:43,564 --> 00:10:44,762 Yes. 280 00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:47,294 - You still have no idea, do you? - I still don't know. 281 00:10:48,474 --> 00:10:51,442 [UPBEAT MUSIC] 282 00:10:51,477 --> 00:10:53,311 ? ? 283 00:10:53,346 --> 00:10:55,254 [SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYS] 284 00:10:55,596 --> 00:10:57,448 [SNIFFS, BREATHES DEEPLY] 285 00:10:57,498 --> 00:10:59,410 I'm the bride here, kid. 286 00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:01,405 Right. Sorry. [SIGHS] 287 00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:04,064 Oh... 288 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,053 Nina told me to steal all the cucumbers 289 00:11:06,074 --> 00:11:08,459 - 'cause your budget is, um... - "Fucktarded"? 290 00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:10,461 - That was it. - Mm-hmm. 291 00:11:10,496 --> 00:11:13,743 ? ? 292 00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:15,189 - Oh. - Sorry. 293 00:11:15,226 --> 00:11:17,117 - Again. - That's okay. 294 00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:18,269 It's okay. 295 00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,103 ? ? 296 00:11:20,568 --> 00:11:22,123 I'm gonna say something. 297 00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:23,502 Okay. 298 00:11:24,984 --> 00:11:26,677 What you're going through... 299 00:11:26,901 --> 00:11:28,846 you didn't invent it, okay? 300 00:11:29,528 --> 00:11:31,982 Sometimes love is enough. 301 00:11:32,017 --> 00:11:33,477 It finds a way, 302 00:11:33,876 --> 00:11:36,342 overcomes all the obstacles. 303 00:11:37,612 --> 00:11:41,792 Other times, just... there's too many potholes, 304 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,705 broken glass, 305 00:11:44,797 --> 00:11:48,164 too many fellow travelers trying to run you off the road. 306 00:11:48,199 --> 00:11:50,748 Are you saying that we're giving up too easy? 307 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,142 I'm saying it's okay to give up. 308 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,971 [SIGHS] Hmm. 309 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:58,140 Every relationship gets put on a scale, 310 00:11:58,542 --> 00:12:01,164 whether you're conscious of it or not. 311 00:12:02,146 --> 00:12:04,958 Love is just one of many stones. 312 00:12:06,497 --> 00:12:09,425 I see you ordered the magic mushroom colonic. 313 00:12:09,446 --> 00:12:10,938 - Excellent choice. - [CHUCKLES] 314 00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:13,753 I do love me a good colonic. 315 00:12:15,427 --> 00:12:19,028 Actually, those are some very wise words, so thank you. 316 00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,361 But here's my last nugget... 317 00:12:22,019 --> 00:12:24,817 it ain't over just 'cause you say it is. 318 00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:27,553 Okay. 319 00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:29,704 Now I'm gonna say something. 320 00:12:30,062 --> 00:12:32,544 Something I never, ever, ever thought I'd say 321 00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:34,658 in this lifetime or the next. 322 00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,276 [SOFTLY] I'm glad you invited my mom. 323 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:41,115 Hmm? I didn't hear you. 324 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,996 I'm glad you invited... 325 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:46,717 my mother. 326 00:12:47,110 --> 00:12:48,488 Mm. 327 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:53,547 [SCOFFS] 328 00:12:55,614 --> 00:12:57,064 So you're being smug. 329 00:12:57,371 --> 00:12:59,004 Indeed I am. 330 00:12:59,092 --> 00:13:01,248 [SIGHS] 331 00:13:07,126 --> 00:13:09,949 We're not gonna do this for, like, an uncomfortably long time, right? 332 00:13:09,950 --> 00:13:11,983 I feel like this is a less-is-more situation. 333 00:13:11,994 --> 00:13:13,543 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 334 00:13:13,647 --> 00:13:15,104 [CLEARS THROAT] 335 00:13:15,618 --> 00:13:17,995 I'm really sorry that us Silvas 336 00:13:18,011 --> 00:13:21,090 hijacked your woodsy wedding with all of our exes. 337 00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:26,842 I think my crazies have got it out of their system, but... 338 00:13:27,671 --> 00:13:29,062 I don't know. 339 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,702 I hope so. 340 00:13:30,858 --> 00:13:34,227 It feels really... my skin feels really... 341 00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,303 What the fuck? 342 00:13:37,339 --> 00:13:40,394 Lexi, play "In Your Eyes." 343 00:13:40,435 --> 00:13:43,395 Playing "Spanish Flies" by the Nasty Ugly Fucks. 344 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,767 - [PUNK MUSIC STARTS] - I'm not sure I understand today's prom songs. 345 00:13:45,803 --> 00:13:47,483 No, uh, power down. 346 00:13:47,516 --> 00:13:49,364 - Reset. - "In Your Eyes." 347 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:51,012 Lexi, "In Your Eyes" by John Cusack. 348 00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:53,385 - No, Peter... Peter Gabriel. - Wow. 349 00:13:53,922 --> 00:13:57,890 They have a weird '80s Rom-com obsession. 350 00:13:57,925 --> 00:14:00,593 Yeah, except different, I guess. 351 00:14:00,628 --> 00:14:01,908 [MUSIC STOPS] 352 00:14:04,265 --> 00:14:06,531 Oh, great. Now everyone's coming out here. Just... 353 00:14:07,691 --> 00:14:08,987 We were wrong. 354 00:14:09,013 --> 00:14:10,936 And we know that. But, Isabelle Silva... 355 00:14:11,008 --> 00:14:12,771 We want to put a baby inside of you! 356 00:14:12,807 --> 00:14:14,894 Well, we do, but, technically, me, 'cause I have the... 357 00:14:14,925 --> 00:14:16,438 - Okay, you know... - As many as you want. 358 00:14:16,478 --> 00:14:18,252 I just feel like you're kind of hijacking 359 00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:21,579 the baby-making gesture, right? Like, "I'm the wielder of sperm!" 360 00:14:21,605 --> 00:14:22,703 - It's a little... - Guys. 361 00:14:22,735 --> 00:14:24,566 Sorry. Anyway, the point is, 362 00:14:24,753 --> 00:14:26,485 the plan is malleable, 363 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,654 and we want to make an amendment for you. 364 00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:34,194 So what do you say? Are you in? 365 00:14:35,168 --> 00:14:36,961 Is that a yes or a... ? 366 00:14:36,997 --> 00:14:41,031 - [LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING] - You two clearly do not fear me appropriately! 367 00:14:41,068 --> 00:14:42,534 - Oh, my God. - Jesus Christ. 368 00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:44,069 Someone should really be filming this. 369 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,870 Try and keep up, pussycat. 370 00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:48,454 Totally gonna InstaTweet this. 371 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,275 Oh, yeah, InstaTweet. 372 00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:51,538 - Super cool, Mom. - [CHUCKLES] 373 00:14:51,564 --> 00:14:54,446 Griswolds! I have 20 more centerpieces to make, 374 00:14:54,481 --> 00:14:56,209 a folk trio to reprimand, 375 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,751 a wow-inducing finale to plan, 376 00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,539 and a fucking tear-jerking speech to write, 377 00:14:59,553 --> 00:15:01,482 so I'm gonna need you guys to get out of my woods, okay? 378 00:15:01,487 --> 00:15:03,688 - [LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING] - All right, I... 379 00:15:03,723 --> 00:15:06,314 Now! Okay? Go on! Git! 380 00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:09,190 Nina, can I... can I just have a sec? 381 00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:11,062 Just put it down. 382 00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:13,938 - Okay, fine. - [LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING] 383 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:16,310 - Sorry, that was just for me. - Okay. 384 00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:19,503 [SOFT MUSIC] 385 00:15:19,539 --> 00:15:21,505 ? ? 386 00:15:21,647 --> 00:15:22,808 We love you. 387 00:15:24,027 --> 00:15:25,358 I love you back. 388 00:15:26,042 --> 00:15:27,285 I thought we 389 00:15:27,579 --> 00:15:30,067 covered that pretty thoroughly at the hotel, right? 390 00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:34,511 Yeah, but the... baby part was new. 391 00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:36,402 I mean, this isn't just empty theater, right? 392 00:15:36,422 --> 00:15:38,176 - We're... we're really... - I think Nina's right. 393 00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:42,529 It still doesn't change anything. 394 00:15:42,962 --> 00:15:45,696 ? ? 395 00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:47,131 I think you should go. 396 00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:52,458 ? ? 397 00:15:56,981 --> 00:15:58,041 Ben? 398 00:16:00,646 --> 00:16:02,247 [KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS] 399 00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:04,982 Benjamin? [GASPS] 400 00:16:05,169 --> 00:16:06,334 Jess? 401 00:16:06,711 --> 00:16:08,071 Um... 402 00:16:09,655 --> 00:16:12,448 [CHUCKLES] Quite the scene going on out there. 403 00:16:12,912 --> 00:16:14,894 Jack's got on a trench coat thing, 404 00:16:14,915 --> 00:16:17,555 and he's carrying a little speaker with a song blaring out. 405 00:16:17,615 --> 00:16:18,729 "Say Anything." 406 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:19,930 Does it seem like I'm holding back? 407 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,760 The John Cusack movie? 408 00:16:21,775 --> 00:16:23,976 If you say so. Anyway, I think they're leaving. 409 00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:27,872 - Um, can... can we talk? - Yeah, uh, yeah. 410 00:16:27,893 --> 00:16:30,932 - Sure. I'm just waking up, so... - Lala's right. 411 00:16:31,352 --> 00:16:32,673 I love you... 412 00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:36,068 - maybe more now than ever. - Jess, I... 413 00:16:37,036 --> 00:16:39,149 It's okay. No, Ben, listen to me. 414 00:16:39,379 --> 00:16:40,970 I'm not blind. 415 00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,586 I know you're really happy, 416 00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:45,597 and... and that makes me really happy, too, 417 00:16:46,017 --> 00:16:48,758 but I also want to knock you out, 418 00:16:48,793 --> 00:16:50,334 roll you in a carpet, and... 419 00:16:50,702 --> 00:16:53,609 I don't know... haul you off to some remote cabin, 420 00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:57,457 - chain you to be bed, break your legs. - "Misery." 421 00:16:57,468 --> 00:16:59,287 Yeah, it's really hard. 422 00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:01,800 - Oh, no. - [DOOR OPENS] 423 00:17:01,810 --> 00:17:03,473 Well, I'll just wait out here until... 424 00:17:03,508 --> 00:17:04,740 Mom! 425 00:17:04,776 --> 00:17:05,852 No, I... 426 00:17:05,951 --> 00:17:08,681 - I... she... - Don't... don't... 427 00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:10,717 follow me. 428 00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,615 - [SIGHS] - Okay. 429 00:17:12,651 --> 00:17:15,785 Um, just for the record, uh, I didn't see that coming. 430 00:17:15,806 --> 00:17:17,873 One second we were talking, and then all of... 431 00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,272 Okay, I can totally back that up, okay? 432 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:20,376 - That was super sudden. - You know what? 433 00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:21,651 - Really fast. - I don't care. 434 00:17:21,659 --> 00:17:23,299 - You guys are always doing this. - Hey. 435 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,459 We just wanted to wish... 436 00:17:24,495 --> 00:17:26,361 - Ben and Lala... - [GROANS] 437 00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:27,678 You guys seem busy. 438 00:17:27,704 --> 00:17:29,150 - Yeah, we'll, um, - We're gonna... 439 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,161 - We'll come back. - Uh-uh. No. Get the fuck in here. 440 00:17:31,197 --> 00:17:32,907 Now you want us to stay? 441 00:17:33,632 --> 00:17:35,290 You can leave immediately after 442 00:17:35,306 --> 00:17:37,258 the mess you've made is cleaned up. 443 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,746 What is wrong with you people? 444 00:17:39,761 --> 00:17:41,677 Why is the answer to everything running? 445 00:17:41,713 --> 00:17:43,383 Don't look at me. I heard what I said. 446 00:17:43,389 --> 00:17:45,311 Isn't it obvious, Izzy? 447 00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:47,282 Lala is too good for me. 448 00:17:47,318 --> 00:17:49,747 I don't deserve her or Hawthorne Heights. 449 00:17:49,959 --> 00:17:52,301 - Ben, that's not true. - Yeah, she loves you. 450 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,478 - So do we. - Yeah. 451 00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:56,958 Ben, um... 452 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,737 what I really came to say was this. 453 00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:02,976 I still love you, and I know you still love me. 454 00:18:02,986 --> 00:18:04,167 That was never the problem. 455 00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:06,568 I think we managed to destroy everything but that. 456 00:18:06,604 --> 00:18:08,044 You and Lala work, 457 00:18:08,439 --> 00:18:10,443 and I want that for you, 458 00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:12,153 I want it for me, too. 459 00:18:12,169 --> 00:18:14,454 That's beside the point. I was gonna close with, 460 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,227 "So go marry that amazing woman before I do." 461 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,748 That's pretty good. 462 00:18:22,198 --> 00:18:24,572 And then, Benjamin, I was, um... 463 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,893 [CRYING] I was gonna give you this. 464 00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:32,116 That's Grandma's ring. 465 00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:33,603 It's Lala's now. 466 00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:35,830 One more thing... 467 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,889 she wants to be found, okay? 468 00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:39,533 You dumbass, go. 469 00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,569 [SIGHS] 470 00:18:41,604 --> 00:18:47,652 ? ? 471 00:18:48,725 --> 00:18:50,383 I know where she is. 472 00:18:50,613 --> 00:18:51,979 I got this. 473 00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:55,349 [ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING] 474 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,785 ? ? 475 00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,669 I'd like to dedicate this next number to nobody. 476 00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,069 'Cause he doesn't deserve it. 477 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,749 ? ? 478 00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:10,749 ? After you've gone ? 479 00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:14,331 ? And left me cryin' ? 480 00:19:14,372 --> 00:19:17,705 ? After you've gone ? 481 00:19:18,611 --> 00:19:21,388 ? There's no denyin' ? 482 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:25,332 ? You'll feel blue ? 483 00:19:25,368 --> 00:19:29,208 ? You'll feel sad ? 484 00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:36,546 ? You'll miss the sweetest love you've ever had ? 485 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:40,432 ? After you've gone ? 486 00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:48,614 ? After you've gone away ? 487 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:53,640 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 488 00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:55,508 Bravo! 489 00:19:55,544 --> 00:19:59,011 Namaste, motherfuckers. Namaste. 490 00:19:59,047 --> 00:20:01,914 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE FADE] 491 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,251 Bravo. 492 00:20:07,578 --> 00:20:09,760 - How about an autograph? - Don't have a pen. 493 00:20:10,346 --> 00:20:12,725 You got an opening for a middle-aged groupie? 494 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,312 The kiss was a surprise. 495 00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:23,173 You're right. 496 00:20:24,215 --> 00:20:27,049 Jess and I were a story without an ending. 497 00:20:27,645 --> 00:20:29,293 But we have one now. 498 00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:33,570 And I am so, so sorry that... 499 00:20:33,585 --> 00:20:36,025 Well, you should've thought of that before you let her in. 500 00:20:37,041 --> 00:20:39,368 'Cause I'm dating that drunk guy over there now. 501 00:20:39,466 --> 00:20:41,648 And he's a real rocket in the sack. 502 00:20:41,891 --> 00:20:43,923 Hey, honey, wake up! [SNAPS FINGERS] 503 00:20:44,491 --> 00:20:46,463 - He's tired. - [CHUCKLES] 504 00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:52,261 What are you doing? What's happening? 505 00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:54,039 Lala... [CLEARS THROAT] 506 00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,376 Holy cats. 507 00:20:55,817 --> 00:20:57,402 It's my grandmother's. 508 00:20:57,812 --> 00:21:00,689 But I... I already have this turquoise number we got in Sedona? 509 00:21:00,707 --> 00:21:03,083 Okay, you know what? I like the bigger one. Let's... 510 00:21:08,114 --> 00:21:10,219 Oh, my God, it's so sparkly. 511 00:21:15,789 --> 00:21:18,689 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 512 00:21:24,597 --> 00:21:26,584 You know, I cannot wait to spend 513 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,129 every moment of the rest of my life with you. 514 00:21:30,387 --> 00:21:31,885 Crazy idea... 515 00:21:31,926 --> 00:21:34,232 all these babies running around, 516 00:21:34,284 --> 00:21:36,435 - let's say we adopt one for ourselves? - Nope. 517 00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:39,683 - How about we spend a week snorkeling in Roat�n! - Yes. That one. 518 00:21:39,711 --> 00:21:40,944 Great. 519 00:21:40,979 --> 00:21:43,947 [SOFT MUSIC] 520 00:21:43,982 --> 00:21:50,053 ? ? 521 00:21:50,088 --> 00:21:51,690 - Hey. - Hey. 522 00:21:52,307 --> 00:21:53,590 - Hey. - Hi. 523 00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:55,349 Excuse me. Um... 524 00:21:56,227 --> 00:21:58,349 - I'm really sorry. - Oh, don't be. 525 00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:01,163 Apparently everything went down exactly as it had to. 526 00:22:01,401 --> 00:22:02,966 I'm really proud of both of you. 527 00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:04,474 - I know. - [CHUCKLES] 528 00:22:04,837 --> 00:22:06,035 I love you. 529 00:22:06,071 --> 00:22:07,563 I love you, too, Peanut... 530 00:22:08,607 --> 00:22:10,144 so much. 531 00:22:13,325 --> 00:22:14,771 [SIGHS] 532 00:22:15,041 --> 00:22:17,666 - Can we have a minute? - Oh, gosh, honey, yeah, of course. 533 00:22:17,682 --> 00:22:19,114 - Love you. - I love you, too. 534 00:22:19,366 --> 00:22:23,385 [SOFT MUSIC] 535 00:22:23,512 --> 00:22:25,554 - So... - [CAR DOOR CLOSES] 536 00:22:25,590 --> 00:22:27,151 So... 537 00:22:29,244 --> 00:22:31,364 [CLEARS THROAT] Well, s... 538 00:22:32,069 --> 00:22:34,630 suddenly this good-bye feels very real. 539 00:22:36,846 --> 00:22:39,023 I think that's because it is. 540 00:22:40,215 --> 00:22:42,148 Iz, for all the parts that hurt you... 541 00:22:42,195 --> 00:22:43,939 Yeah, we're really sorry. 542 00:22:44,081 --> 00:22:45,553 Me too. 543 00:22:45,976 --> 00:22:49,276 ? ? 544 00:22:49,776 --> 00:22:51,741 Okay, so I guess... 545 00:22:51,982 --> 00:22:53,126 [SNIFFLES] 546 00:22:56,290 --> 00:22:57,952 G... good-bye? 547 00:22:57,988 --> 00:23:00,087 ? ? 548 00:23:00,331 --> 00:23:01,492 Good-bye. 549 00:23:01,670 --> 00:23:05,940 ? ? 550 00:23:06,329 --> 00:23:08,966 [SOBBING] 551 00:23:09,277 --> 00:23:11,106 [SNIFFLES] 552 00:23:11,401 --> 00:23:15,492 ? ? 553 00:23:18,576 --> 00:23:20,532 [CAR DOORS OPEN] 554 00:23:22,144 --> 00:23:23,273 [SOBS] 555 00:23:26,982 --> 00:23:29,049 [ENGINE TURNS OVER] 556 00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:31,304 ? Will turn to dust ? 557 00:23:31,432 --> 00:23:34,595 ? Blow away in winds that chuckle when they gust ? 558 00:23:34,649 --> 00:23:35,831 We love you. 559 00:23:35,988 --> 00:23:38,546 ? They can't touch the patterns of ? 560 00:23:39,229 --> 00:23:42,583 ? The footprints that we leave ? 561 00:23:42,831 --> 00:23:44,452 [CRIES] 562 00:23:44,663 --> 00:23:47,628 ? So when the moon sways... ? 563 00:23:47,769 --> 00:23:49,780 [SIGHS] Good-bye. 564 00:23:49,813 --> 00:23:51,612 ? Your breath will waver ? 565 00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:53,926 ? Your memories will flash ? 566 00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:57,314 ? All the tides will blanket you ? 567 00:23:57,869 --> 00:24:00,747 ? Like mountains in the sea ? 568 00:24:01,049 --> 00:24:04,018 ? ? 569 00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:10,636 ? And your tears will disappear ? 570 00:24:10,892 --> 00:24:13,269 ? Someday ? 571 00:24:13,795 --> 00:24:19,683 ? Your tears will disappear ? 572 00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:22,278 ? ? 573 00:24:23,314 --> 00:24:29,011 ? Your tears will disappear ? 574 00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:34,946 [INTENSE TONES] 575 00:24:35,711 --> 00:24:37,369 [WHOOSHING] 40962

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