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1
00:00:24,056 --> 00:00:26,322
Huh? Is that good or is that good?
What do you think?
2
00:00:26,324 --> 00:00:27,589
Well, why don't you put the
whole thing in your mouth?
3
00:00:27,591 --> 00:00:28,790
The whole thing?
4
00:00:28,792 --> 00:00:30,114
Well, you can't
just nibble at it.
5
00:00:30,115 --> 00:00:31,437
You have to look
like you're enjoying it.
6
00:00:31,438 --> 00:00:32,760
Is that camera on?
The camera is on.
7
00:00:32,762 --> 00:00:34,161
You're on.
8
00:00:34,163 --> 00:00:36,163
Okay? Oh, God! Okay.
9
00:00:36,165 --> 00:00:39,065
Ooh! Isn't that delicious? Huh?
10
00:00:39,067 --> 00:00:40,766
Just enjoy the heck out of it.
11
00:00:40,768 --> 00:00:43,535
I can't smile.
It's stuck in my teeth.
12
00:00:43,537 --> 00:00:45,387
Ma'am, you can't
grimace like that
13
00:00:45,388 --> 00:00:47,238
because the crackers are
flying out of your mouth.
14
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,240
That's not gonna work. Okay?
15
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:51,241
I gotta have
something to drink.
16
00:00:51,242 --> 00:00:53,242
Okay, take a drink and let me put
some more Cheese Tease on the cracker
17
00:00:53,246 --> 00:00:54,378
and now put it in the mouth.
18
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:56,079
Oh! Oh, man. Oh, I'm sorry.
19
00:00:56,081 --> 00:00:57,781
I got some on your blouse.
Don't worry about it.
20
00:00:57,782 --> 00:00:59,482
Send me the bill. Send me the bill.
What's in it?
21
00:00:59,484 --> 00:01:01,284
The camera's running!
22
00:01:01,285 --> 00:01:03,085
If I don't love it, I don't get
to do the commercial, right?
23
00:01:03,087 --> 00:01:04,419
That's right. I don't love it.
24
00:01:04,421 --> 00:01:06,571
Well, then, thank you.
Have a nice day.
25
00:01:06,572 --> 00:01:08,722
Yeah, with this stuff
eating a hole in my blouse?
26
00:01:08,725 --> 00:01:10,425
Uh-huh.
27
00:01:10,426 --> 00:01:12,126
In a few minutes, what
we're gonna do here is,
28
00:01:12,128 --> 00:01:14,161
we're gonna be making
some commercials
29
00:01:14,163 --> 00:01:18,064
and asking you to just come
on up and try the product
30
00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:20,066
and tell us what you
honestly think of it.
31
00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:22,101
We're not gonna put
any words in your mouth.
32
00:01:22,103 --> 00:01:24,503
Someone who might
like to just come along,
33
00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:27,739
try a little Cheese Tease
and perhaps...
34
00:01:27,741 --> 00:01:29,807
Oh, here's somebody right here.
Valerie, why don't...
35
00:01:29,809 --> 00:01:31,809
Hi! No? You don't care for any.
36
00:01:31,811 --> 00:01:33,811
Okay. All right,
thank you very much.
37
00:01:33,813 --> 00:01:36,831
What we're really looking for is...
Hiya! How are you?
38
00:01:36,832 --> 00:01:39,850
Someone who might like to just come
along, try a little Cheese Tease...
39
00:01:39,852 --> 00:01:41,752
And here's someone right here.
40
00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,653
Valerie, why don't we...
Hi, what's your name?
41
00:01:43,654 --> 00:01:45,554
Let me tell you right off.
We don't like things in cans.
42
00:01:45,557 --> 00:01:47,156
You buy soft drinks in cans.
43
00:01:47,158 --> 00:01:49,183
Yeah, but this is cheese.
44
00:01:49,184 --> 00:01:51,209
Oh, I see,
because it's a dairy product.
45
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:53,235
The idea of a dairy
product being in a can...
46
00:01:53,236 --> 00:01:55,261
Exactly! Right. I mean,
beer in a can...
47
00:01:55,265 --> 00:01:56,831
Well, how about on a cracker?
48
00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,484
Beans in a can...
49
00:01:59,485 --> 00:02:02,136
Now, why don't we just have an
open mind and an open mouth, huh?
50
00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:03,770
Okay, try this.
It's so delicious.
51
00:02:03,772 --> 00:02:06,072
Give my daughter one, please.
52
00:02:06,073 --> 00:02:08,373
What? This is your daughter?
This is not your sister?
53
00:02:08,376 --> 00:02:11,143
I can't believe it! Of course,
one for your lovely daughter.
54
00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:14,279
What do you think, honey? Is this
delicious to you guys or what?
55
00:02:14,281 --> 00:02:18,281
Now tell the truth!
What do you think? Huh?
56
00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:22,553
Huh? What we'd like you to do
is look in the camera and say,
57
00:02:22,555 --> 00:02:25,689
"Mmm, tastes like
real cheddar cheese!"
58
00:02:25,691 --> 00:02:27,590
You don't think it does?
59
00:02:27,592 --> 00:02:29,792
You really don't? Uh-uh.
60
00:02:29,794 --> 00:02:32,427
It doesn't? Well,
what does it taste like?
61
00:02:32,429 --> 00:02:34,128
Shit!
62
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,163
Watch yourself. Watch the cart.
Watch the cart.
63
00:02:36,165 --> 00:02:38,231
Oh, Concepcion, Concepcion,
watch our things.
64
00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:39,365
Watch where you're going.
65
00:02:40,468 --> 00:02:42,568
I'm so sorry.
You little monster!
66
00:02:42,570 --> 00:02:44,570
Are you all right?
I'm so sorry.
67
00:02:44,572 --> 00:02:46,204
Jeff, oh, Jeff, don't you dare!
68
00:02:46,206 --> 00:02:47,572
Step right over here.
Pardon me.
69
00:02:47,574 --> 00:02:48,706
Jeff!
70
00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:50,708
Whoops, here we go. Huh?
71
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:52,176
Jeff, come here, darling.
72
00:02:52,178 --> 00:02:53,510
One more! One more!
73
00:02:53,512 --> 00:02:55,211
Which one has the
real cheddar on it
74
00:02:55,213 --> 00:02:56,879
and which one
has the Cheese Tease?
75
00:02:56,881 --> 00:02:59,248
More importantly,
which one says,
76
00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,616
"Take me home!"
77
00:03:00,618 --> 00:03:02,484
I know you want me to be honest,
78
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:04,319
so I must confess they
both taste like Clorets.
79
00:03:04,321 --> 00:03:05,887
You see, when you shoved
the crackers in my mouth,
80
00:03:05,889 --> 00:03:07,822
I was chewing gum and they
all got mixed up together.
81
00:03:07,824 --> 00:03:09,356
Your car's all loaded,
Mrs. Kramer.
82
00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:10,824
Oh, here you are, Stu,
thank you.
83
00:03:10,826 --> 00:03:12,759
Here's a free can
of Cheese Tease, uh...
84
00:03:12,761 --> 00:03:14,260
Oh, well, thank you. Enjoy!
85
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,561
Thank you again.
It's good on anything.
86
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,895
It has a shelf life
of 12 years.
87
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,329
Okay, well,
goodbye and thank you.
88
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,731
Bye. Bye.
89
00:03:20,666 --> 00:03:22,165
Wonderful family.
90
00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:25,835
My story,
the story of Pat Kramer,
91
00:03:25,837 --> 00:03:28,838
began on what seemed to be
a perfectly normal day.
92
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,440
Mom, can we stay up
till Dad comes home?
93
00:03:31,442 --> 00:03:32,641
Maybe, we'll see later.
94
00:03:32,643 --> 00:03:34,609
Mother, he's on my side...
You promised!
95
00:03:34,611 --> 00:03:36,477
I did not and don't you
talk with your mouth full
96
00:03:36,479 --> 00:03:37,778
and yell in my ear like that.
97
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,480
Skip laid another one.
98
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:45,651
Boy, it smells!
Get your room deodorant.
99
00:03:48,621 --> 00:03:51,654
It's not that bad.
It's not that bad!
100
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,932
Pat, ought to try Camper Clean.
101
00:04:05,934 --> 00:04:08,467
No more ring around
the fender, honey.
102
00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:11,470
Great new diet daiquiri
mix at the store, hon.
103
00:04:11,472 --> 00:04:13,672
Pat, you deserve a break today.
104
00:04:13,674 --> 00:04:16,474
Pat, you gotta get some of
this stuff for your lawn!
105
00:04:16,476 --> 00:04:18,709
Ever see our boat look better?
106
00:04:18,711 --> 00:04:20,410
Pat, it's Boat Sheen.
107
00:04:20,412 --> 00:04:22,678
Hi, Pat. I got some Valium.
108
00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,847
Hey, Pat, how about
a weenie, huh?
109
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,482
There I was, safe and
secure in the belief
110
00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:31,384
that nothing unusual ever
happens in Tasty Meadows.
111
00:04:33,488 --> 00:04:34,720
Jeffrey Donald Kramer,
112
00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:37,489
you pick every one of
those up and I mean it!
113
00:04:43,763 --> 00:04:45,429
Hi, Judith!
114
00:04:45,431 --> 00:04:48,398
Pat! I was just this minute
thinking of you.
115
00:04:49,467 --> 00:04:51,567
Don't let him in!
He's not clean!
116
00:04:51,569 --> 00:04:53,835
Don't let him in!
117
00:04:53,837 --> 00:04:55,303
Get ready for the sale.
118
00:04:55,305 --> 00:04:57,838
Ding dong!
Flow Naturalle calling.
119
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,539
Judith, come on in.
120
00:05:01,809 --> 00:05:03,408
Hey, Mom, look!
121
00:05:05,311 --> 00:05:06,443
Jeff, give me those.
122
00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:08,845
Do A Little Bar of Soap
for the guys.
123
00:05:08,847 --> 00:05:11,314
I certainly will not and
oranges are for eating.
124
00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:12,982
You know what?
125
00:05:12,984 --> 00:05:16,418
I know someday I'm gonna
find out you're adopted!
126
00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:20,255
Oh, I'm so sorry.
127
00:05:20,257 --> 00:05:22,690
Pat, it's all that
sex and violence on TV.
128
00:05:22,692 --> 00:05:25,659
Give me that gun right now.
Give it here!
129
00:05:25,661 --> 00:05:27,661
Jeff, give me that gun.
Give me that gun.
130
00:05:27,663 --> 00:05:30,664
Let's go, come on, let's go.
Let's go, all of you. Let's go!
131
00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:33,667
And no allowance
till Skip gets his bath.
132
00:05:47,812 --> 00:05:51,812
Oh, Judith! Here, I'll do that.
How about some coffee?
133
00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:56,317
No, thank you, Pat. I
know how busy you are.
134
00:05:56,319 --> 00:05:57,985
But I am so excited.
135
00:05:57,987 --> 00:06:01,267
You know that new product
line I'm going to sell...
136
00:06:01,556 --> 00:06:03,355
I'm so sorry, Judith.
137
00:06:04,024 --> 00:06:05,990
One of Jeff's toys.
138
00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:09,793
Well, boys will be boys!
Especially in this household.
139
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:14,430
Presenting Flow Naturalle.
140
00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:20,434
Go ahead.
141
00:06:20,436 --> 00:06:23,437
Now, they have
Flow Naturalle hairspray,
142
00:06:24,339 --> 00:06:25,905
Fountain of Truth beauty cream
143
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:28,807
and this is so light
and fluffy on the face.
144
00:06:28,809 --> 00:06:31,009
No Fooling cleanser.
145
00:06:31,011 --> 00:06:32,477
I just love that tune.
146
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,911
It is nice.
147
00:06:33,913 --> 00:06:35,512
No Sweat deodorant.
148
00:06:35,514 --> 00:06:37,013
What a name!
149
00:06:37,015 --> 00:06:39,015
And, Pat, for the total woman,
150
00:06:39,017 --> 00:06:42,585
they have developed
151
00:06:42,587 --> 00:06:45,988
a new feminine hygiene spray
called Breathe Easy!
152
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,689
Now, isn't that a comfort?
153
00:06:47,691 --> 00:06:49,657
This product not only
does the job,
154
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,792
but it's also good for you.
155
00:06:51,794 --> 00:06:54,795
I have heard that a certain
national leading brand,
156
00:06:54,797 --> 00:06:58,031
which shall remain nameless,
actually kills cockroaches.
157
00:06:58,033 --> 00:07:00,767
Judith, no! Disgusting.
158
00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:03,089
Beth says we need a pan of
water and the hose won't work.
159
00:07:04,071 --> 00:07:06,471
Concepcion, Concepcion.
160
00:07:11,077 --> 00:07:12,776
Hey, it's working!
161
00:07:13,612 --> 00:07:16,379
Stop it! Stop it!
162
00:07:17,715 --> 00:07:19,748
Well, I'll just leave
this questionnaire
163
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,950
and your complimentary
free samples.
164
00:07:21,952 --> 00:07:24,352
Judith, I, honestly,
I don't think I have room
165
00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:26,387
to store one more thing
in this kitchen.
166
00:07:26,389 --> 00:07:30,057
Well, then, Pat, this is even
more of a godsend than I thought.
167
00:07:30,059 --> 00:07:31,491
Watch this.
168
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,059
It's called.
169
00:07:35,095 --> 00:07:36,694
Tray Naturalle.
170
00:07:36,696 --> 00:07:38,062
Talk about clever.
171
00:07:38,064 --> 00:07:39,396
Thanks, Judith.
172
00:07:39,398 --> 00:07:41,398
Well, it's been
a pleasure serving you.
173
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,733
Bong bing,
Flow Naturalle leaving.
174
00:07:46,104 --> 00:07:49,972
Concepcion, we gotta get
all this stuff put away.
175
00:08:22,972 --> 00:08:24,571
Oh, Jeff!
176
00:08:36,418 --> 00:08:38,851
I'm ignoring you, Jeff, but if
you don't go eat your supper,
177
00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:40,752
I'm gonna have
to tell your dad.
178
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,690
♫ Cheese, cheese,
cheese, cheese
179
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,658
♫ The cheese that
wants to please... ♫
180
00:08:49,561 --> 00:08:51,627
Honey, honey, I'm coming.
181
00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:56,698
Sweetheart! Hi, honey.
182
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:57,832
Hi, Skip.
183
00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,968
Could be the agency's
biggest account.
184
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:02,803
I made a one hour presentation.
185
00:09:04,573 --> 00:09:06,172
They gave me
a standing ovation.
186
00:09:06,174 --> 00:09:07,606
Honey, did they?
187
00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:10,048
Well, one guy said,
"Nice job, Vance!"
188
00:09:11,611 --> 00:09:12,876
Kids in bed? Are you kidding?
189
00:09:12,878 --> 00:09:14,411
They are dying to see you.
190
00:09:14,412 --> 00:09:15,945
That's all they
have talked about.
191
00:09:15,947 --> 00:09:17,246
Look who's here.
192
00:09:17,248 --> 00:09:18,747
My children!
193
00:09:18,749 --> 00:09:20,148
Hi. Hi.
194
00:09:22,619 --> 00:09:23,884
Guess the presents can wait.
195
00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:26,720
Dad!
196
00:09:26,722 --> 00:09:30,223
Hello, kids. Have you been good
kids while Daddy's been away?
197
00:09:31,125 --> 00:09:32,324
Aren't those darling?
198
00:09:32,326 --> 00:09:33,725
Airport presents.
199
00:09:33,727 --> 00:09:35,727
You have a wonderful father.
200
00:09:35,729 --> 00:09:38,096
Honey, what do you think of this name
for a new candy we're developing?
201
00:09:38,098 --> 00:09:39,630
Exploded Comet.
202
00:09:39,632 --> 00:09:41,231
Oh, I think it sounds fine.
I like it.
203
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:42,983
Get us some. Please, Mom!
204
00:09:42,984 --> 00:09:44,734
Okay, but one piece
each and that's it.
205
00:09:44,736 --> 00:09:46,235
And this is for you.
206
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:49,071
Have you been a good girl
while Daddy's been away?
207
00:09:50,074 --> 00:09:52,207
Airport presents?
208
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,247
No, it's way past your bedtime.
209
00:10:00,249 --> 00:10:02,215
Look, Ma, disco!
Oh, yeah, come on.
210
00:10:02,217 --> 00:10:03,883
Disco right into the bed. We want
to hear Little Bar of Soap.
211
00:10:03,885 --> 00:10:05,351
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Please! Please!
212
00:10:05,352 --> 00:10:06,818
No, darlings, not tonight.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
213
00:10:06,821 --> 00:10:08,353
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
214
00:10:08,355 --> 00:10:10,435
Get in the bed,
I'll do it! I'll do it!
215
00:10:11,624 --> 00:10:14,191
♫ Oh, I wish I was
a little bar of soap
216
00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:15,759
♫ Bar of soap
217
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,326
♫ Oh, I wish I was
a little bar of soap.
218
00:10:17,329 --> 00:10:18,761
Don't throw.
219
00:10:18,763 --> 00:10:20,062
♫ I'd go slippy, slappy, slidy
220
00:10:20,064 --> 00:10:21,630
♫ Over everybody's hiney
221
00:10:21,632 --> 00:10:23,832
♫ Oh, I wish I was
a little bar of soap
222
00:10:23,834 --> 00:10:26,101
♫ Bar of soap ♫
223
00:10:26,102 --> 00:10:29,022
Lay down, lay down. Get in the bed. Let's go.
Come on, under the covers.
224
00:10:29,705 --> 00:10:31,037
Ma, I'm cool.
225
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,073
Oh, I know. You just like
to see your old mother
226
00:10:34,075 --> 00:10:35,941
make a fool of herself,
don't you?
227
00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:37,909
Good gum.
228
00:10:37,911 --> 00:10:39,243
Mom, can I have
my space gun back?
229
00:10:39,245 --> 00:10:40,677
Tomorrow. Go to sleep.
230
00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:41,878
Mom? What?
231
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,112
I love you.
232
00:10:44,782 --> 00:10:46,281
Me, too.
233
00:10:47,851 --> 00:10:49,917
Me, too. I love you, too.
234
00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,157
Welcome home.
235
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,258
Did you miss me?
236
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,959
Mmm. Mmm.
237
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:07,229
Came straight from
the factory. Smell this.
238
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:08,630
Oh, honey.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
239
00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:10,231
I'm sorry.
Oh, no, it's nothing.
240
00:11:10,233 --> 00:11:12,233
It's my fault, sweetheart.
241
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:14,234
I'm just gonna take it off and
rinse it out before it stains.
242
00:11:14,237 --> 00:11:15,903
Thank heaven for polyester.
243
00:11:15,905 --> 00:11:17,704
Try this new detergent.
244
00:11:17,706 --> 00:11:20,039
The fumes from
this perfume sting my eyes.
245
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:21,340
Really?
246
00:11:21,342 --> 00:11:22,874
But it smells good.
247
00:11:30,782 --> 00:11:33,315
If these new accounts work
out, I could get a raise.
248
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:34,749
Or the partnership!
249
00:11:37,353 --> 00:11:40,320
Which name do you prefer
for the new perfume?
250
00:11:40,322 --> 00:11:41,954
Hypnotique?
251
00:11:41,956 --> 00:11:43,388
Honey, too old-fashioned.
252
00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:46,057
How about Arise?
253
00:11:46,059 --> 00:11:48,993
Hmm, it kind of sounds like
a breakfast food to me.
254
00:11:48,995 --> 00:11:50,661
Breakfast food.
255
00:11:51,797 --> 00:11:53,696
Vance, oh,
I know what to call it!
256
00:11:53,698 --> 00:11:55,264
Sexpot!
257
00:11:57,701 --> 00:12:00,835
Oh, I love it. I love it!
258
00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:02,870
It could come in
a little pot and be solid,
259
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:04,822
so it wouldn't spill.
260
00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:06,773
You're not
supposed to be out of bed.
261
00:12:06,775 --> 00:12:08,007
Neither are you!
262
00:12:12,145 --> 00:12:14,345
Are they doing it yet?
263
00:12:14,347 --> 00:12:16,714
Oh, no, no, no, not if
it's the perfume and not me.
264
00:12:16,716 --> 00:12:20,716
No, no, it's you and the perfume
and the night and the music.
265
00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:22,185
You know, Sexpot...
266
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,392
Sexpot.
267
00:13:05,796 --> 00:13:08,830
Hmm. Makes you
think of sex and dope.
268
00:13:08,832 --> 00:13:10,398
I think it says it all.
269
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,133
It may say too much.
270
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:15,870
I think Sexpot is a
direct, honest, hardcore,
271
00:13:15,872 --> 00:13:18,523
approach to selling perfume.
272
00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:21,175
Your wife is on the phone.
She says it's important.
273
00:13:21,177 --> 00:13:23,443
Vance, uh, honey, that
blouse I had last night,
274
00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:26,212
you didn't take it to the cleaners
this morning or anything, did you?
275
00:13:26,214 --> 00:13:27,313
What, honey?
276
00:13:27,315 --> 00:13:29,148
The one I rinsed out, it's...
277
00:13:29,149 --> 00:13:30,982
Vance, it's like it disappeared
right off the towel. I...
278
00:13:30,985 --> 00:13:33,051
Pat, we're right in the
middle of deciding on Sexpot.
279
00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:34,452
Can I call you later with this?
280
00:13:34,454 --> 00:13:35,886
Wait, Vance.
281
00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:39,888
My fingernails, they seem like
they're shorter to me today
282
00:13:40,392 --> 00:13:41,924
than they were yesterday.
283
00:13:41,926 --> 00:13:44,192
Sweetheart, please,
let me call you later.
284
00:13:44,194 --> 00:13:46,127
I'm so sorry I called.
Listen, I'll see you tonight?
285
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,410
Yeah, bye.
I love you, darling. Bye.
286
00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:54,099
Oh, I'm sorry...
287
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,034
It's all right. Meeting's over.
288
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,168
How's Pam?
289
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,170
Pat? She's fine.
Oh, Pat, Pat, oh.
290
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:04,441
Sexpot, huh? Yeah.
291
00:14:08,946 --> 00:14:10,445
Sexpot.
292
00:14:12,248 --> 00:14:13,380
I like it.
293
00:14:14,249 --> 00:14:15,781
I like it.
294
00:14:18,151 --> 00:14:19,416
It's big.
295
00:14:20,051 --> 00:14:21,950
It's big. Big!
296
00:14:21,952 --> 00:14:24,218
Thank you, thank you.
I hoped you'd like it.
297
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,419
You're thinking big.
298
00:14:27,923 --> 00:14:29,489
Speaking of,
299
00:14:30,425 --> 00:14:32,266
this office big enough for you?
300
00:14:33,994 --> 00:14:35,426
Well, it's...
301
00:14:35,428 --> 00:14:38,495
Why, what were you...
What are you... What?
302
00:14:40,131 --> 00:14:41,964
Let's see what
you do with this.
303
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:45,550
Big, new glue account.
304
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,534
That night,
Vance brought me flowers.
305
00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:49,971
He was in such a festive mood
306
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,406
and it was my turn to hostess
our monthly block meeting,
307
00:14:52,408 --> 00:14:56,408
so, I decided not to mention my
fingernails or the blouse incident again.
308
00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:59,212
Besides, we became
involved in a new incident.
309
00:14:59,214 --> 00:15:02,381
And I am so happy to announce
that we have enough money
310
00:15:02,383 --> 00:15:05,250
in the neighborhood kitty
at last, to plant a new shrub.
311
00:15:06,286 --> 00:15:08,119
And that reminds me,
Mrs. Wickes.
312
00:15:08,121 --> 00:15:10,354
I do believe there were
several times last month
313
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:13,156
that you neglected to
clean up after your dog.
314
00:15:13,158 --> 00:15:16,125
Just one rainy day!
315
00:15:16,127 --> 00:15:18,894
You know, it grieves me to see
a grown woman cheapen herself
316
00:15:18,896 --> 00:15:21,129
by lying in front of
her neighbors.
317
00:15:21,131 --> 00:15:23,665
I have it right here
in my record book.
318
00:15:23,666 --> 00:15:26,200
I found the offensive evidence first
on August 15th, about 8:00 p.m.
319
00:15:26,202 --> 00:15:27,568
and then again on August...
320
00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:29,503
Honey. Hi. Hi, everybody.
321
00:15:29,505 --> 00:15:31,905
You brought me some flowers.
Thank you, darling.
322
00:15:31,907 --> 00:15:34,140
Pauline, was that a double?
Yeah, thanks, honey.
323
00:15:39,012 --> 00:15:41,879
...April 15th at 8:00 p.m.
and again on April 22nd
324
00:15:41,881 --> 00:15:43,847
and then again on April 30th.
325
00:15:43,849 --> 00:15:46,549
Oh, Vance, it looks like the old
body could use a little bit of tone.
326
00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:48,191
This body?
You should try running.
327
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,453
It's okay. It's okay, Greg.
328
00:15:53,589 --> 00:15:56,089
♫ You broke a vase
329
00:15:56,891 --> 00:15:59,258
♫ Don't wait for days
330
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,427
♫ Here's what to do ♫
331
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:03,628
Good as new!
332
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,169
What is the name, Galaxy Glue?
How does that sound?
333
00:16:12,171 --> 00:16:13,570
I think it sounds good.
334
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:14,671
I'd buy it.
335
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,572
Not bad.
336
00:16:16,574 --> 00:16:19,241
What does it mean, honey?
What does it mean?
337
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,480
Concepcion,
your carpool is here.
338
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:30,016
Mother, where are
my blue leotards?
339
00:16:30,018 --> 00:16:31,550
In the dryer. Come on. Come on.
340
00:16:31,552 --> 00:16:33,151
Let's see, they must be done.
Look in the dryer here.
341
00:16:33,153 --> 00:16:34,485
I want to wear them
to school tomorrow.
342
00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:35,719
Okay. Okay.
343
00:16:35,721 --> 00:16:37,153
Wait, honey, my hand is stuck.
344
00:16:37,155 --> 00:16:39,622
Oh, liquid glue!
345
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,123
Wait a second.
346
00:16:42,326 --> 00:16:43,725
Hey, wait, now,
hold everything.
347
00:16:43,727 --> 00:16:45,159
Let me give it
a karate chop, Mom.
348
00:16:45,161 --> 00:16:46,560
Don't do anything rough!
349
00:16:46,562 --> 00:16:48,762
Don't. You just pull...
Wait, let me... Now hold it.
350
00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:51,397
No, please.
Now keep Skip out of here.
351
00:16:51,399 --> 00:16:52,564
No whining.
352
00:16:52,566 --> 00:16:54,332
Concepcion, no,
don't worry about it.
353
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,200
Help me!
354
00:16:56,202 --> 00:16:58,435
Concepcion...
355
00:16:58,437 --> 00:17:00,270
This stuff really works,
huh, hon?
356
00:17:01,539 --> 00:17:04,540
Okay, take it easy. Concepcion!
357
00:17:04,542 --> 00:17:07,309
Concepcion, take it easy!
358
00:17:07,311 --> 00:17:11,311
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
359
00:17:11,381 --> 00:17:15,381
♫ What would we do
without Galaxy Glue
360
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,451
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
361
00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:22,522
♫ Life would go to pieces
without Galaxy Glue ♫
362
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,659
Good morning, darling. Hi, hon.
363
00:17:29,497 --> 00:17:31,263
Look, there's Dad's commercial.
364
00:17:33,450 --> 00:17:35,634
Yes. Oh, and I just love it.
I've used it for years.
365
00:17:35,636 --> 00:17:37,502
Honey, we're so proud of you.
Thanks.
366
00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:40,104
She's gonna say,
"I don't believe it" now.
367
00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:41,538
I don't believe it!
368
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,273
See, I told you.
369
00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:45,041
It is good. Coffee?
370
00:17:48,145 --> 00:17:49,377
Hello, little green man.
371
00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:51,245
Hello, monster face.
372
00:17:53,649 --> 00:17:55,315
Oh, honey.
373
00:17:55,317 --> 00:17:57,150
Are you dieting again, honey?
374
00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:59,819
Honey, I'm so sorry.
Isn't that silly?
375
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:01,821
Look, it's okay. I'm late.
I'm okay, anyway.
376
00:18:01,823 --> 00:18:04,123
I'll talk to you later.
Bye, honey.
377
00:18:05,659 --> 00:18:07,558
Vance, our lips used to meet.
378
00:18:11,664 --> 00:18:15,098
Perfectly normal, 5'5".
379
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,799
5'5 "? But I'm 5'7".
380
00:18:16,801 --> 00:18:19,401
No, you're 5'5".
These scales don't lie.
381
00:18:21,238 --> 00:18:23,804
But I've been 5'7"
ever since I was 19.
382
00:18:26,675 --> 00:18:28,608
That says 5'7", doesn't it?
383
00:18:34,081 --> 00:18:35,480
Hi, Judith.
384
00:19:01,739 --> 00:19:04,699
Vance, I'm getting
smaller every day.
385
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:08,275
We'll see Dr. Atkins
again tomorrow.
386
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,680
Honey, I'm sure there must
be some logical explanation.
387
00:19:15,684 --> 00:19:17,250
I'm sure there must.
388
00:19:19,754 --> 00:19:21,520
It'll be okay.
389
00:19:24,157 --> 00:19:25,556
♫ Galaxy Glue ♫
390
00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:27,558
Look, honey,
there's your commercial.
391
00:19:28,727 --> 00:19:31,561
Galaxy Glue, sticks by you.
392
00:19:33,331 --> 00:19:35,798
I needed two
full sets of pictures
393
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,800
spaced several days apart to
compare, before I could be sure.
394
00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:46,840
I don't profess to
understand it, Pat.
395
00:19:47,676 --> 00:19:49,375
There's no medical precedent
396
00:19:49,377 --> 00:19:51,810
for what appears to
be happening to you.
397
00:19:52,813 --> 00:19:56,181
I just know
you're getting smaller.
398
00:19:56,183 --> 00:19:59,450
These X-rays prove it
beyond any doubt.
399
00:19:59,452 --> 00:20:02,586
Now I'm sending you to
the Kleinman Institute
400
00:20:02,588 --> 00:20:05,589
for the Study of
Unexplained Phenomena.
401
00:20:05,591 --> 00:20:09,392
If there is any explanation
for this at all,
402
00:20:09,394 --> 00:20:11,293
they're the ones
who'll find it.
403
00:20:21,336 --> 00:20:24,570
Then began a series
of grueling intensive tests.
404
00:20:24,572 --> 00:20:27,339
I was pinched, poked, prodded.
405
00:20:27,341 --> 00:20:30,675
I was examined by specialists
I never even knew existed.
406
00:20:30,677 --> 00:20:33,377
They gave me
radioactive iodine tests,
407
00:20:33,379 --> 00:20:36,213
scanning electron
microscopic tests...
408
00:20:36,215 --> 00:20:38,648
The target tissues have somehow
reverted to multi-potentiality
409
00:20:38,650 --> 00:20:41,784
causing an apparent cascade
effect on the pituitary.
410
00:20:41,786 --> 00:20:43,753
More importantly,
411
00:20:43,754 --> 00:20:45,721
there seems to be a complete
lack of somatropin.
412
00:20:45,723 --> 00:20:47,355
We need more tests.
413
00:20:47,357 --> 00:20:50,358
Brain tests,
bone tests, blood tests,
414
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,360
bioneurothermal tests, ultrasonic
tests, chromatography tests...
415
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:57,931
And there are hormonal problems
as well as a glandular one,
416
00:20:57,933 --> 00:21:01,933
reversal of the self-action factor,
a double helix inconsistency
417
00:21:02,270 --> 00:21:04,403
and erratic behavior...
418
00:21:04,405 --> 00:21:05,837
Elasticity tests,
419
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:07,905
enzyme tests, endocrine tests,
420
00:21:07,907 --> 00:21:10,440
chromosome tests,
cellular tests,
421
00:21:10,442 --> 00:21:12,408
metabolic tests.
422
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:15,511
Tests, tests and more tests!
423
00:21:16,547 --> 00:21:18,346
We've got it.
424
00:21:20,249 --> 00:21:21,648
Are you anemic?
425
00:21:21,650 --> 00:21:23,583
After all those tests, you
don't know if she's anemic?
426
00:21:23,585 --> 00:21:25,551
Sweetheart, please, please.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
427
00:21:25,553 --> 00:21:27,252
Have you had a recent flu shot?
428
00:21:27,254 --> 00:21:29,587
I did have a flu shot
about two months ago.
429
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:30,888
Do you drink tap water?
430
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,956
Of course I drink tap water.
431
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,891
What are you trying to say to me, Doctor?
Please tell me what you mean.
432
00:21:37,694 --> 00:21:39,293
What I mean?
433
00:21:40,896 --> 00:21:42,896
What I am saying, Mrs. Kramer,
434
00:21:43,865 --> 00:21:46,398
is that you are shrinking
435
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,467
from a combination
of the tap water,
436
00:21:49,469 --> 00:21:52,002
the flu shot,
the perfume, the glue,
437
00:21:52,004 --> 00:21:54,304
the solvent, your bubble bath,
438
00:21:54,306 --> 00:21:58,306
talcum powder, shampoo, hair conditioner,
setting lotion, hand lotion,
439
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,943
mouthwash, hairspray,
breath spray,
440
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:04,945
feminine hygiene spray, deodorant,
toothpaste, detergent, eye drops,
441
00:22:06,016 --> 00:22:10,016
nose drops, hair coloring, diet
soda, birth control pills and smog.
442
00:22:12,255 --> 00:22:15,556
Set off by an imbalance already
present in your system.
443
00:22:15,558 --> 00:22:16,823
Oh, God!
444
00:22:16,825 --> 00:22:19,926
No need to be upset,
Mrs. Kramer.
445
00:22:19,928 --> 00:22:22,461
We helped name
half those products.
446
00:22:22,463 --> 00:22:24,463
And now that we know
what's caused it,
447
00:22:24,465 --> 00:22:26,905
we can work towards
finding an antidote.
448
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,767
Go home, let us
do the worrying.
449
00:23:04,868 --> 00:23:07,501
Honey, maybe we
should be proud.
450
00:23:07,503 --> 00:23:09,035
I mean, it seems like
you've got a wife
451
00:23:09,037 --> 00:23:13,037
who's found a way to reverse the
whole order of the universe.
452
00:23:13,574 --> 00:23:16,775
They'll find an antidote, Pat.
You just have to wait.
453
00:23:16,777 --> 00:23:18,943
Wait?
454
00:23:18,945 --> 00:23:22,079
I can't wait much longer.
I'm shrinking every day.
455
00:23:22,081 --> 00:23:24,047
You just have to
try to be calm, honey.
456
00:23:24,049 --> 00:23:25,481
You stay calm!
457
00:23:25,483 --> 00:23:27,316
Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
458
00:23:27,318 --> 00:23:29,798
It's all right. It's all right.
459
00:23:30,854 --> 00:23:33,888
I want you to start thinking about
us and our marriage, Vance.
460
00:23:33,890 --> 00:23:35,422
Honey, you've got to.
461
00:23:35,424 --> 00:23:37,464
I mean, this has been such
a strain on both of us.
462
00:23:38,493 --> 00:23:42,493
Honey, as long as
you have on this...
463
00:23:46,534 --> 00:23:48,033
This ring,
464
00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,044
nothing's changed between us.
465
00:24:00,746 --> 00:24:02,445
Let's go home.
466
00:24:05,817 --> 00:24:07,917
As the weeks passed,
467
00:24:07,918 --> 00:24:10,018
I wondered if they ever
did find the antidote,
468
00:24:10,021 --> 00:24:12,388
would they still
be able to find me?
469
00:24:12,390 --> 00:24:13,555
We're hoppin' mad, Dan!
470
00:24:13,557 --> 00:24:15,557
As well you might be, Vance,
471
00:24:15,559 --> 00:24:17,692
but we wouldn't wanna
let your anger spill over
472
00:24:17,694 --> 00:24:19,827
on three of our biggest
clients, now, would we?
473
00:24:19,829 --> 00:24:22,696
Think of the dent it could
put in their profits.
474
00:24:22,698 --> 00:24:25,532
Do you know that products
could be banned from this?
475
00:24:25,534 --> 00:24:27,934
Heads would roll, Vance.
Heads would roll.
476
00:24:27,936 --> 00:24:29,635
What about the public?
477
00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:31,036
I mean, couldn't
the label at least say,
478
00:24:31,038 --> 00:24:33,838
"Caution! This product might
be hazardous to your...
479
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,840
"To your size?"
480
00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:39,543
We wait for the antidote and
then I, personally, will conduct
481
00:24:39,545 --> 00:24:41,578
a no-holds-barred
investigation.
482
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:45,580
We'll publish all the facts. How
Pat was brought back to normal
483
00:24:45,718 --> 00:24:47,879
by a miracle of
modern chemistry.
484
00:24:48,753 --> 00:24:50,152
What do you say, team?
485
00:24:50,787 --> 00:24:52,052
To the antidote.
486
00:24:56,691 --> 00:24:58,090
To the antidote.
487
00:24:59,226 --> 00:25:02,093
To the antidote.
488
00:25:02,095 --> 00:25:05,196
I was attracting more
and more attention each day.
489
00:25:05,198 --> 00:25:08,165
The smaller I got,
the bigger my name.
490
00:25:08,167 --> 00:25:09,833
The top news story of the day
491
00:25:09,835 --> 00:25:13,102
continues to be the
Incredible Shrinking Woman.
492
00:25:13,104 --> 00:25:16,972
Perhaps the petite Pat Kramer is
a metaphor for the modern woman.
493
00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,541
It is no secret that the
role of the modern housewife
494
00:25:19,543 --> 00:25:22,544
has become increasingly
less significant.
495
00:25:22,546 --> 00:25:25,780
Reluctantly, I allowed Judith to
talk me into leaving the house
496
00:25:25,782 --> 00:25:28,549
and it resulted in what will
forever be known to us all
497
00:25:28,551 --> 00:25:31,051
as "The Supermarket Incident."
498
00:25:31,053 --> 00:25:34,854
Judith, I don't think
this is such a good idea.
499
00:25:34,856 --> 00:25:36,956
Not to mention
my legs have fallen asleep.
500
00:25:36,958 --> 00:25:38,918
I understand, Pat,
but you just bear with me.
501
00:25:39,726 --> 00:25:41,125
This is chemical warfare
502
00:25:41,127 --> 00:25:43,560
and I wanna show you
what we're up against.
503
00:25:43,562 --> 00:25:45,762
Look at this.
We have Mike's Macho Meal.
504
00:25:45,764 --> 00:25:47,063
Let's see here.
505
00:25:47,065 --> 00:25:50,099
"Fortified food flavoring
ego boosters,
506
00:25:50,101 --> 00:25:54,101
"synthetic spermatozoa,
testosterone, inert sugar syrup,
507
00:25:55,138 --> 00:25:57,538
"tumescent tissue
of bull scrotum..."
508
00:25:59,274 --> 00:26:02,008
Here we have
Cousin Bud's Speedy Spuds.
509
00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:05,544
Well, this has everything
but the kitchen sink.
510
00:26:05,546 --> 00:26:06,978
Judith, I don't think
this is working.
511
00:26:06,980 --> 00:26:08,846
Please, get me out of here.
512
00:26:08,848 --> 00:26:10,881
Just ignore them, Pat.
513
00:26:10,883 --> 00:26:12,750
Of all the rudeness.
514
00:26:12,751 --> 00:26:14,631
Don't you all have something
you wanna shop for?
515
00:26:15,153 --> 00:26:16,619
A little poison, maybe?
516
00:26:16,621 --> 00:26:19,021
Just get me out of here.
517
00:26:30,033 --> 00:26:30,931
Mr. Bell.
518
00:26:35,137 --> 00:26:37,003
Excuse me, madam,
519
00:26:37,005 --> 00:26:40,339
but I'm going to have to
take a look in that bag.
520
00:26:40,341 --> 00:26:43,775
There is nothing in this sack
that is of any concern to you.
521
00:26:45,245 --> 00:26:47,945
Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Kramer.
522
00:27:01,727 --> 00:27:03,159
Okay, it's a go.
523
00:27:08,766 --> 00:27:10,665
I knew I was being stared at,
524
00:27:10,667 --> 00:27:13,167
but I didn't know
I was being spied on.
525
00:27:13,169 --> 00:27:15,335
And in my own shopping mall.
526
00:27:17,806 --> 00:27:21,774
It was becoming more and more
difficult to lead a normal life.
527
00:27:28,048 --> 00:27:30,281
I'm down here, darling.
528
00:27:35,021 --> 00:27:37,821
Vance did
what he could to help.
529
00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:39,322
Everyone did.
530
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,660
And the kids
tried to understand.
531
00:27:46,662 --> 00:27:49,142
Okay, here I come. I'm gonna
tuck you in, ready or not.
532
00:28:00,675 --> 00:28:02,007
Good night, Concepcion.
533
00:28:03,810 --> 00:28:05,943
Good, you're already tucked in.
534
00:28:05,945 --> 00:28:08,011
Mom, do A Little Bar of Soap.
535
00:28:08,013 --> 00:28:10,680
Oh, honey, not tonight.
536
00:28:10,682 --> 00:28:12,181
Are you gonna just keep...
537
00:28:12,183 --> 00:28:14,816
Just keep shrinking away
to nothing?
538
00:28:15,418 --> 00:28:17,184
Hey, Ma, if mothers shrink,
539
00:28:17,186 --> 00:28:18,985
does that mean their
kids will shrink, too?
540
00:28:18,987 --> 00:28:21,087
Oh, no, honey, no.
541
00:28:21,089 --> 00:28:23,722
What happened to me is just
some kind of freak accident.
542
00:28:23,724 --> 00:28:26,758
It's not gonna happen to
either one of you, I promise.
543
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,861
Hey, Ma, I could
drive the car for you.
544
00:28:29,863 --> 00:28:33,064
You could, you sure could.
545
00:28:33,066 --> 00:28:37,066
Mother, would you say this is the
worst thing that ever happened to us?
546
00:28:38,371 --> 00:28:41,705
Oh, no, honey, lots of
things worse can happen.
547
00:28:42,407 --> 00:28:44,707
Yeah? Like what?
548
00:28:46,010 --> 00:28:48,110
Well...
549
00:28:48,112 --> 00:28:51,713
Look, I'll think of something and
we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?
550
00:28:51,715 --> 00:28:53,081
Night-night.
551
00:28:53,082 --> 00:28:54,448
Concepcion, do
A Little Bar of Soap.
552
00:28:54,451 --> 00:28:55,983
Yes, yes! Do it!
553
00:29:06,793 --> 00:29:09,226
I was rapidly becoming famous,
554
00:29:09,228 --> 00:29:11,461
and so was Tasty Meadows.
555
00:29:14,098 --> 00:29:17,265
Ah, yes, but we were her first
friends in the neighborhood.
556
00:29:17,267 --> 00:29:20,434
I believe it was I who first
introduced you to Pat.
557
00:29:20,436 --> 00:29:23,170
Yeah, well, we took 'em
to their first EST seminar.
558
00:29:23,172 --> 00:29:24,905
Yeah, well, she's been like
a sister to me.
559
00:29:24,907 --> 00:29:25,972
We're this close.
560
00:29:25,974 --> 00:29:28,454
She's been like a mother to me.
561
00:29:32,746 --> 00:29:36,047
Did she begin to shrink
because no one noticed?
562
00:29:36,049 --> 00:29:39,283
Did she begin to shrink
because no one cared?
563
00:29:39,285 --> 00:29:43,285
Did she begin to shrink because her
role as homemaker was belittling?
564
00:29:43,489 --> 00:29:45,121
When she looked at herself...
565
00:29:45,123 --> 00:29:47,756
Pat, you are a celebrity.
566
00:29:47,758 --> 00:29:50,925
Ooh, let's face it,
Judith, I'm a freak.
567
00:29:50,927 --> 00:29:52,793
Well, that's true,
568
00:29:52,795 --> 00:29:54,761
but you are also a celebrity.
569
00:29:54,763 --> 00:29:58,064
...why is Pat Kramer shrinking?
570
00:29:58,066 --> 00:30:00,499
Oh, Concepcion!
571
00:30:00,501 --> 00:30:03,719
I wish you'd let me help you.
572
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,938
Now, Judith, you know I am absolutely
determined to do this myself.
573
00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:09,840
Mom! You're on TV again!
574
00:30:09,842 --> 00:30:11,107
Oh, brother.
575
00:30:11,109 --> 00:30:13,142
The question in
all our minds is,
576
00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:15,444
"Why is Pat Kramer shrinking?"
577
00:30:15,446 --> 00:30:17,045
Vance, please, honey.
578
00:30:17,047 --> 00:30:19,114
Pat, ignore that.
579
00:30:19,115 --> 00:30:21,182
I believe what has happened
is a blessing in disguise.
580
00:30:21,184 --> 00:30:23,083
A warning to us all.
581
00:30:23,085 --> 00:30:27,085
You should see yourself as a
kind of divine sacrificial goat.
582
00:30:27,322 --> 00:30:29,221
Thanks to you,
we're all on our toes.
583
00:30:29,223 --> 00:30:31,823
I know I'm much wiser
now than I was.
584
00:30:33,293 --> 00:30:34,959
Yeah, me, too. Wiser,
585
00:30:36,028 --> 00:30:37,783
and smaller.
586
00:30:37,784 --> 00:30:39,539
No matter how you slice it,
587
00:30:39,540 --> 00:30:41,295
it doesn't look good for the
little lady from Tasty Meadows.
588
00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:44,366
At the Kleinman Institute, no
one seems to have much hope...
589
00:30:44,368 --> 00:30:46,685
You made all three networks.
590
00:30:46,686 --> 00:30:49,003
...that is, except Pat Kramer,
herself, as small as she is.
591
00:30:49,005 --> 00:30:51,372
She has great
hope and determination.
592
00:30:51,374 --> 00:30:54,274
Hundreds of tourists pass the
Kramer household each day.
593
00:30:54,276 --> 00:30:56,209
And thousands of
letters and phone calls
594
00:30:56,211 --> 00:30:58,110
have been pouring
into the station...
595
00:31:03,449 --> 00:31:04,948
I've got it, Pat.
596
00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:07,951
You've got to go on
national TV and tell all!
597
00:31:07,953 --> 00:31:09,218
You owe it to your public.
598
00:31:09,220 --> 00:31:12,020
Oh, Judith, I don't know. I...
599
00:31:14,257 --> 00:31:17,124
Oh, honey.
I guess we eat out again.
600
00:31:28,903 --> 00:31:30,469
Name and voice code.
601
00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:33,572
Tom Keller, 234-ZXE.
602
00:31:33,574 --> 00:31:35,824
Representing?
603
00:31:35,825 --> 00:31:38,075
Representing Genetic
Engineering Affiliated,
604
00:31:38,078 --> 00:31:40,912
International Dynamic
Chemicals Corporation,
605
00:31:40,914 --> 00:31:44,914
Experimental Science,
Omni National Research.
606
00:31:44,984 --> 00:31:46,183
Verified.
607
00:31:49,288 --> 00:31:51,321
Had I known then
all that I know now,
608
00:31:51,323 --> 00:31:54,090
I might not have
appeared on national TV,
609
00:31:54,092 --> 00:31:56,058
but all we knew that December
610
00:31:56,060 --> 00:31:59,027
was that Vance and I wanted
to do what was right.
611
00:31:59,029 --> 00:32:02,830
Vance. No business
like show business.
612
00:32:02,832 --> 00:32:04,264
Boy, when I think
about all the people
613
00:32:04,266 --> 00:32:07,166
who are gonna see this,
goose bumps.
614
00:32:07,168 --> 00:32:09,067
She's gonna be positive,
isn't she?
615
00:32:09,069 --> 00:32:10,234
Oh, excuse me.
616
00:32:10,236 --> 00:32:13,403
She's gonna talk
about the antidote.
617
00:32:13,405 --> 00:32:15,538
She's not gonna mention
the clients' products?
618
00:32:15,540 --> 00:32:17,606
Well, Pat feels the public
should be warned, Dan.
619
00:32:17,608 --> 00:32:21,209
I mean, it is a
question of integrity.
620
00:32:22,312 --> 00:32:26,013
Vance, let's go over
here for just a minute.
621
00:32:26,015 --> 00:32:28,515
♫ Blow me a kiss
622
00:32:28,517 --> 00:32:31,417
♫ From across the room
623
00:32:33,154 --> 00:32:37,154
♫ Say I look fine when I'm not
624
00:32:39,526 --> 00:32:42,059
♫ Touch my hand
625
00:32:42,061 --> 00:32:45,529
♫ As you pass my chair
626
00:32:47,032 --> 00:32:51,032
♫ Little things mean a lot ♫
627
00:32:51,669 --> 00:32:55,103
Look, I know her being 36 inches
tall is a difficult dilemma.
628
00:32:55,105 --> 00:32:57,171
She's not 36 inches anymore.
629
00:32:57,173 --> 00:32:59,006
You mean she's shrunk since
the last time I saw her?
630
00:32:59,008 --> 00:33:01,108
I mean, she's shrunk since
the last time I saw her.
631
00:33:01,110 --> 00:33:03,310
I almost sat on her last night.
632
00:33:04,513 --> 00:33:07,213
I'm afraid
I'm losing my sanity.
633
00:33:07,215 --> 00:33:09,148
We have to help her
up the front steps.
634
00:33:09,150 --> 00:33:11,283
She showers in the sink.
635
00:33:11,285 --> 00:33:13,218
The other day she was
holding a piece of toast.
636
00:33:13,220 --> 00:33:17,220
I thought it was her purse.
And our sex life, don't ask.
637
00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:19,456
I wasn't going to.
638
00:33:22,627 --> 00:33:25,527
I come home, I don't
know what I might find.
639
00:33:25,529 --> 00:33:27,061
One day, I'm afraid
I might come home,
640
00:33:27,063 --> 00:33:29,143
I won't even be
able to find her.
641
00:33:29,264 --> 00:33:30,763
Do you know
what I think, Vance?
642
00:33:30,765 --> 00:33:33,532
I think you've got a real
bad case of self-pityitis.
643
00:33:34,735 --> 00:33:38,636
Dan, what if these
products are dangerous?
644
00:33:38,638 --> 00:33:41,572
Dangerous? I'll tell
you what's dangerous!
645
00:33:41,574 --> 00:33:44,308
If your wife goes out there
646
00:33:44,309 --> 00:33:47,043
and creates a crisis in confidence
in American consumerism,
647
00:33:47,046 --> 00:33:49,046
that's dangerous!
648
00:33:49,047 --> 00:33:51,047
Now, maybe some of our products
do attack a few blood cells,
649
00:33:51,050 --> 00:33:53,316
but you're talking about
a television show
650
00:33:53,318 --> 00:33:57,318
where millions of people,
millions of people are tuning in.
651
00:33:57,388 --> 00:33:59,054
Now, do you wanna look
in there and tell them
652
00:33:59,056 --> 00:34:01,623
they can't trust
American products?
653
00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:04,158
Do you know what they want?
654
00:34:05,161 --> 00:34:07,127
They want hope.
655
00:34:09,097 --> 00:34:10,229
Hope!
656
00:34:12,399 --> 00:34:15,666
And you wanna give them what
they want, don't you, Vance?
657
00:34:16,201 --> 00:34:17,533
Hmm?
658
00:34:19,103 --> 00:34:20,635
Don't you?
659
00:34:27,809 --> 00:34:30,576
♫ Little things
660
00:34:30,578 --> 00:34:34,578
♫ Mean a lot ♫
661
00:34:53,397 --> 00:34:55,463
Thank you.
662
00:34:55,465 --> 00:34:59,333
I sang that song
in honor of a very special,
663
00:34:59,335 --> 00:35:03,335
very brave and
a very remarkable woman.
664
00:35:03,472 --> 00:35:07,373
You all have come to know her as
the Incredible Shrinking Woman.
665
00:35:14,847 --> 00:35:17,581
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mrs. Pat Kramer.
666
00:35:37,801 --> 00:35:39,700
Happy holidays, Mike.
667
00:35:39,702 --> 00:35:41,568
May I help you, Pat?
Mike, thank you,
668
00:35:41,570 --> 00:35:44,804
but I don't wanna be treated any
differently than anybody else.
669
00:35:44,806 --> 00:35:46,272
Is she great, folks?
670
00:35:50,410 --> 00:35:51,776
Is that package for me, Pat?
671
00:35:51,778 --> 00:35:54,512
Unfortunately, Mike,
it's for me.
672
00:36:08,125 --> 00:36:10,492
You know, I've been told
that the first official.
673
00:36:10,494 --> 00:36:13,735
Pat Kramer Fan Club is
in our audience tonight.
674
00:36:19,334 --> 00:36:21,367
Everyone loves you, Pat.
675
00:36:21,369 --> 00:36:23,602
I hope you'll take
courage from that.
676
00:36:23,604 --> 00:36:25,570
I do, Mike, I really do.
677
00:36:25,572 --> 00:36:28,673
But let's face it, it's
not making me any taller.
678
00:36:28,675 --> 00:36:30,541
Has it all been a nightmare
679
00:36:30,543 --> 00:36:34,377
or has anything good come from
this extraordinary experience?
680
00:36:36,681 --> 00:36:39,314
Well, Mike, I'll tell you, um,
681
00:36:39,316 --> 00:36:41,416
it has mostly been a nightmare,
682
00:36:41,418 --> 00:36:42,884
but some good things
have happened,
683
00:36:42,886 --> 00:36:44,685
like getting to
come on your show here.
684
00:36:44,687 --> 00:36:48,188
I mean, nobody cared what I had to
say when I was my normal height.
685
00:36:48,190 --> 00:36:49,489
For instance... Excuse me, Pat.
686
00:36:49,491 --> 00:36:51,891
We'll be right back
after these messages.
687
00:36:56,763 --> 00:36:58,730
♫ Galaxy Glue Galaxy Glue.
688
00:36:58,731 --> 00:37:00,698
I used Galaxy Glue when I
was in the Peace Corps
689
00:37:00,700 --> 00:37:03,634
and that's why we have so
many friends and good allies.
690
00:37:03,636 --> 00:37:06,336
Galaxy Glue?
Hey, I'm stuck on it.
691
00:37:09,374 --> 00:37:11,807
Everything is under control.
692
00:37:11,809 --> 00:37:15,743
♫ Galaxy Glue It's for you ♫
693
00:37:18,581 --> 00:37:20,781
You know, everyone has
one question in mind
694
00:37:20,783 --> 00:37:24,351
and I have that same question
in my mind right now.
695
00:37:24,353 --> 00:37:25,618
Why are you shrinking?
696
00:37:47,674 --> 00:37:49,607
It hasn't been
determined yet, Mike.
697
00:37:49,609 --> 00:37:50,941
Right on.
698
00:37:56,982 --> 00:37:58,982
Pat, after talking
about your case with you,
699
00:37:58,984 --> 00:38:02,685
I must admit that I'm more
baffled now than I was before.
700
00:38:02,687 --> 00:38:05,687
I believe that you all know.
701
00:38:07,657 --> 00:38:10,357
Dr. Eugene Nortz.
702
00:38:11,226 --> 00:38:12,892
No, I don't think I...
703
00:38:16,397 --> 00:38:20,397
May I present my
colleague, Ruth Ruth.
704
00:38:20,701 --> 00:38:23,334
What you are about
to hear, gentlemen,
705
00:38:23,836 --> 00:38:25,836
Sandra,
706
00:38:25,838 --> 00:38:29,838
will deliver us to the threshold
of a new era of civilization.
707
00:38:31,843 --> 00:38:35,744
We, the Organization
for World Management
708
00:38:35,746 --> 00:38:38,546
can be the
trail blazers of tomorrow
709
00:38:38,548 --> 00:38:42,548
and be assured our place
as the power elite forever!
710
00:38:45,587 --> 00:38:49,322
What Einstein did
for time and space,
711
00:38:49,324 --> 00:38:53,324
I, Nortz, will do
for shape and size!
712
00:38:55,028 --> 00:38:59,028
My studies show that a
serum could be developed
713
00:38:59,766 --> 00:39:02,032
from the blood of...
What's her name?
714
00:39:02,034 --> 00:39:03,833
Pam? Pat. Pat Kramer.
715
00:39:04,001 --> 00:39:05,934
Yes.
716
00:39:05,936 --> 00:39:09,936
A shrink serum,
which can be used
717
00:39:10,674 --> 00:39:14,674
to reduce individuals
or entire nations.
718
00:39:16,812 --> 00:39:20,513
And using a process, not
unlike water fluoridation.
719
00:39:20,515 --> 00:39:23,849
A few drops in
a country's water system
720
00:39:23,851 --> 00:39:27,851
would be most effective for
shrinking masses of people.
721
00:39:29,288 --> 00:39:32,389
Except, of course,
for a few of us.
722
00:39:32,391 --> 00:39:36,391
Shrink the world.
Hey, I like it.
723
00:39:37,561 --> 00:39:41,329
All we need is the
Kramer woman in our hands.
724
00:39:46,369 --> 00:39:48,902
Well...
725
00:39:48,904 --> 00:39:51,871
I feel I would need
assurances, you know,
726
00:39:51,873 --> 00:39:54,440
that no harm was gonna
come to that little lady,
727
00:39:54,442 --> 00:39:55,808
or, well, you'd
have to count me out.
728
00:39:55,810 --> 00:39:57,743
Not so fast, Dan.
729
00:39:59,446 --> 00:40:03,446
We can't count you out.
You know too much.
730
00:40:03,583 --> 00:40:05,482
Oh, I may know too much,
731
00:40:05,484 --> 00:40:07,383
but I think fortunately, you
know, for all of us here...
732
00:40:07,385 --> 00:40:10,352
See, I don't really understand
everything it is that I know.
733
00:40:10,354 --> 00:40:12,787
Now that's what really
counts, isn't it?
734
00:40:12,789 --> 00:40:14,889
I need her blood!
735
00:40:14,891 --> 00:40:18,626
You have our word, no harm
will come to the Kramer woman.
736
00:40:18,628 --> 00:40:21,595
Now, do you have some ideas about
how we should approach her?
737
00:40:21,597 --> 00:40:25,597
Oh, I've got ideas. Old Dan
has got a Plan A, sure.
738
00:40:26,568 --> 00:40:30,002
Is there something
you'd like to say to America?
739
00:40:30,004 --> 00:40:33,405
I want to thank everybody
first, so much
740
00:40:33,407 --> 00:40:36,574
for all the cards and the
letters you've sent.
741
00:40:36,576 --> 00:40:38,909
All the, all the good wishes,
742
00:40:38,911 --> 00:40:42,012
because Vance and
the children and I...
743
00:40:42,014 --> 00:40:44,965
It's meant so much to us.
744
00:40:44,966 --> 00:40:47,917
Right now I think we're sort of
existing on prayers and hope.
745
00:40:47,919 --> 00:40:50,986
So I want to thank you
very much, America.
746
00:40:50,988 --> 00:40:52,654
And happy holidays.
747
00:41:53,750 --> 00:41:55,483
Christmas came and went.
748
00:41:58,087 --> 00:41:59,619
And so did Skip.
749
00:42:02,790 --> 00:42:06,790
To my family I'd become a doll
and to our dog, a chew stick.
750
00:42:15,602 --> 00:42:17,468
While Concepcion
had her hands full
751
00:42:17,470 --> 00:42:19,603
with the kids and
the curiosity seekers,
752
00:42:19,605 --> 00:42:22,138
I, reluctantly,
moved into the dollhouse
753
00:42:22,140 --> 00:42:24,874
and tried to contribute to
the mounting doctor bills
754
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:27,676
by working on my memoirs.
755
00:42:27,678 --> 00:42:31,614
The strange, almost
stranger-than-strange,
756
00:42:31,616 --> 00:42:35,150
unbelievable story
of Pat Kramer
757
00:42:35,152 --> 00:42:37,685
is one that must be told.
758
00:42:37,687 --> 00:42:41,687
I know, because unfortunately,
I am Pat Kramer.
759
00:42:47,629 --> 00:42:51,629
The strange, almost
stranger than strange...
760
00:42:54,168 --> 00:42:55,901
Hey, Ma!
761
00:42:56,336 --> 00:42:57,735
I'm busy, Jeff!
762
00:42:57,737 --> 00:42:59,603
Mom, it's an emergency.
763
00:42:59,605 --> 00:43:01,004
Honey, what is it?
764
00:43:01,006 --> 00:43:02,772
Jeff! Jeff, honey,
what is it? Honey!
765
00:43:02,774 --> 00:43:06,175
Say "Cheese." Make believe
there's a birdie there. Pose!
766
00:43:06,177 --> 00:43:09,044
Oh, Jeff, go to your room.
Right now!
767
00:43:09,046 --> 00:43:11,880
And the rest of you,
off the furniture!
768
00:43:14,117 --> 00:43:17,117
And what are you grinning
at, you big creep?
769
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:22,356
Oh, now, I am really mad!
770
00:43:22,358 --> 00:43:25,359
And I'm taking mother to
school for Show and Tell.
771
00:43:25,361 --> 00:43:27,794
You are not! She's
going with me!
772
00:43:27,796 --> 00:43:31,264
She's going to do Little Bar
of Soap and that's final!
773
00:43:31,266 --> 00:43:35,266
Okay, I am mad now. I want
everybody out of here right now!
774
00:43:35,903 --> 00:43:37,602
Billy Beasley, stop that!
775
00:43:37,604 --> 00:43:40,338
I'm gonna count to 10. I
want this stopped right now!
776
00:43:40,340 --> 00:43:42,172
One, two, three... Oh!
777
00:43:45,877 --> 00:43:47,276
Listen... And you...
778
00:43:47,278 --> 00:43:48,744
Come on... Oh!
779
00:43:48,746 --> 00:43:52,080
Billy Beasley, oh,
wait, you wouldn't dare!
780
00:43:52,082 --> 00:43:54,849
Don't you dare,
that's my mother!
781
00:43:56,085 --> 00:43:58,385
Wait a sec... Wait a second!
782
00:43:58,387 --> 00:44:02,055
Hi. I'm Robbie the Robot.
783
00:44:02,057 --> 00:44:04,390
Let's blast off together!
784
00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,659
Meet me at the space station!
785
00:44:08,294 --> 00:44:11,295
Hi, I'm Ricky the Rabbit.
786
00:44:11,297 --> 00:44:13,864
I like to play the drums.
787
00:44:18,903 --> 00:44:22,903
Hi, I'm Betsy Wetsy.
788
00:44:34,715 --> 00:44:37,682
Pat! Great news, honey!
789
00:44:39,118 --> 00:44:40,851
I brought Dan home.
790
00:44:45,790 --> 00:44:48,123
And the president of
Paxton Toys.
791
00:44:55,699 --> 00:44:57,398
Great little kidder.
792
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:58,966
Pat?
793
00:45:02,838 --> 00:45:06,272
So when all the fan mail came
in from your TV appearance,
794
00:45:06,274 --> 00:45:10,274
we got a big idea.
Right, Vance?
795
00:45:10,411 --> 00:45:14,112
Yeah, well, you and Tom
did really, actually.
796
00:45:14,114 --> 00:45:15,713
More champagne, Pat?
797
00:45:18,117 --> 00:45:20,417
Vance, look what you did!
798
00:45:20,419 --> 00:45:22,752
Oh, I'm sorry, hon.
799
00:45:24,822 --> 00:45:28,123
You're such a good sport and you've
got such a cute personality.
800
00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:31,892
It hit me, you could make
millions advertising products.
801
00:45:33,161 --> 00:45:36,262
Tom here wants to make
a doll out of you.
802
00:45:36,264 --> 00:45:40,264
The Pam...
Uh-uh. Pat Kramer doll.
803
00:45:40,401 --> 00:45:42,934
I have arranged
for my private plane
804
00:45:42,936 --> 00:45:45,870
to fly you to our
main design center.
805
00:45:45,872 --> 00:45:47,805
We want to start immediately.
806
00:45:47,807 --> 00:45:49,339
More champagne?
807
00:45:52,277 --> 00:45:55,144
You did it again!
Look, he did it again!
808
00:45:55,913 --> 00:45:57,596
What do you say?
809
00:45:57,597 --> 00:46:01,037
You get your little things together
and we can leave right away. Tonight!
810
00:46:06,121 --> 00:46:09,355
Oh, uh, I think
tonight is a little soon,
811
00:46:09,357 --> 00:46:11,290
maybe tomorrow
would be more appropriate.
812
00:46:11,292 --> 00:46:14,359
Honey, I don't wanna go
tomorrow or any other day.
813
00:46:14,361 --> 00:46:16,728
She didn't mean what she just said.
Really, you know?
814
00:46:16,730 --> 00:46:18,429
I certainly hope not, Vance.
815
00:46:18,431 --> 00:46:20,864
She's gonna be a big star.
816
00:46:28,505 --> 00:46:31,305
You better talk to, uh... Tom!
817
00:46:55,964 --> 00:46:58,764
Concepcion'll do that
tomorrow, don't bother.
818
00:46:58,766 --> 00:47:00,165
That's okay.
819
00:47:02,068 --> 00:47:04,334
You think I should take
the offer, don't you?
820
00:47:04,336 --> 00:47:07,036
What I think
821
00:47:07,038 --> 00:47:11,038
is that this could be the first
good thing to come out of all this.
822
00:47:11,175 --> 00:47:14,442
I mean, there are all these bills.
We could use the money.
823
00:47:14,444 --> 00:47:17,978
That's all we've talked about
all night long is money.
824
00:47:19,181 --> 00:47:21,514
I wish you'd
just think about it.
825
00:47:21,516 --> 00:47:25,050
I have.
I have thought about it.
826
00:47:25,052 --> 00:47:27,213
I just know I'm not interested.
827
00:47:30,423 --> 00:47:33,343
Well, then I guess you're not
interested in this, either.
828
00:47:34,959 --> 00:47:36,358
Good night, Pat.
829
00:48:12,861 --> 00:48:16,095
Well, it looks like
we switch to Plan B.
830
00:48:16,097 --> 00:48:19,398
Don't worry, Tom.
Old Dan's in charge.
831
00:49:37,944 --> 00:49:39,310
Oh, Vance.
832
00:50:18,713 --> 00:50:20,212
Sorry, Stan.
833
00:50:32,692 --> 00:50:34,725
Move over, you big lug.
834
00:51:12,764 --> 00:51:16,764
The next morning I awoke to
find I was shrinking again.
835
00:51:17,568 --> 00:51:20,268
Outside our house,
the crowds were growing.
836
00:51:20,270 --> 00:51:23,537
Our neighbors were becoming
as world-famous as I was.
837
00:51:23,539 --> 00:51:26,506
Being in the spotlight
was changing everyone.
838
00:51:26,508 --> 00:51:28,274
Even Concepcion.
839
00:51:44,457 --> 00:51:46,023
Concepcion!
840
00:51:55,033 --> 00:51:57,666
Don't worry about the
bacon, Pat, I'm late already.
841
00:52:04,607 --> 00:52:06,487
What do you
want me to tell Dan?
842
00:52:07,742 --> 00:52:09,141
I don't know, Vance.
843
00:52:10,144 --> 00:52:11,743
I knew you wouldn't do it.
844
00:52:11,745 --> 00:52:14,545
Vance, I tried to accept
the idea, I really did.
845
00:52:14,547 --> 00:52:16,580
I just don't want to
become another product!
846
00:52:16,582 --> 00:52:19,783
I'm sick of products!
I'm sick of advertising!
847
00:52:19,785 --> 00:52:22,285
You're talking about my work!
848
00:52:22,287 --> 00:52:24,086
You're talking about our plans!
849
00:52:24,088 --> 00:52:26,455
How do you think
we bought that radio?
850
00:52:26,457 --> 00:52:28,190
How do you think
we pay for this house?
851
00:52:28,192 --> 00:52:30,258
I happen to be living
in a dollhouse,
852
00:52:30,260 --> 00:52:32,101
in case you haven't
noticed lately!
853
00:52:33,096 --> 00:52:37,096
Concepcion, do something!
Stop this! Beth...
854
00:52:39,134 --> 00:52:41,434
Concepcion, do something!
855
00:52:44,739 --> 00:52:46,672
Turn off the radio!
856
00:52:48,909 --> 00:52:51,143
I'm gonna lose my mind,
somebody do something!
857
00:52:51,145 --> 00:52:53,346
Concepcion! Stop this smoking!
858
00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:07,791
I'm sorry, my wife is not
interested at this time.
859
00:53:07,793 --> 00:53:11,461
She's... Yeah,
she's been through a lot.
860
00:53:11,463 --> 00:53:15,463
Oh, well, please call us
if your wife changes her mind.
861
00:53:17,101 --> 00:53:20,135
Maybe some other time.
Thank you, thank you anyway.
862
00:53:26,576 --> 00:53:27,708
Plan C.
863
00:53:33,315 --> 00:53:35,782
I love you, Pat.
864
00:53:35,784 --> 00:53:37,717
I'm sorry, I just don't see
865
00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:41,287
how selling a cute little
doll could hurt anything.
866
00:53:41,289 --> 00:53:43,188
A cute little doll?
867
00:53:43,190 --> 00:53:47,190
Vance, do you think we need another
cute little doll in the world?
868
00:53:48,128 --> 00:53:51,896
I mean, really? Do you think we
need another glue or a perfume
869
00:53:51,898 --> 00:53:55,898
or a detergent that eats away
dirt along with your life?
870
00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:58,567
I mean, you tell me!
871
00:53:58,569 --> 00:54:00,168
Come on, kids.
872
00:54:00,170 --> 00:54:04,170
Pat, when you're ready to come down
off that soap box, give me a call.
873
00:54:06,543 --> 00:54:08,943
- Bye, Mom.
- Goodbye, Mom.
874
00:54:08,945 --> 00:54:11,879
Honey, wait. Vance?
Honey, wait! Wait!
875
00:54:11,881 --> 00:54:13,680
Don't leave, Vance, I love you.
876
00:54:13,682 --> 00:54:16,416
Wait a second! Wait a second.
Vance?
877
00:54:16,418 --> 00:54:18,584
Wait, don't...
878
00:54:18,586 --> 00:54:21,920
Kids, wait a second,
I need you... I love you all.
879
00:54:23,290 --> 00:54:24,756
Please! Vance!
880
00:54:46,578 --> 00:54:48,344
Concepcion!
881
00:54:55,452 --> 00:54:57,919
Concepcion!
882
00:55:11,434 --> 00:55:13,734
Concepcion!
883
00:55:18,506 --> 00:55:19,904
Stop! Stop!
884
00:55:22,975 --> 00:55:25,041
Concepcion, please!
885
00:55:41,023 --> 00:55:43,390
Concepcion, don't do anything!
886
00:55:47,329 --> 00:55:50,490
Got some flowers here
for a Pat Kramer.
887
00:55:52,466 --> 00:55:53,631
Who are you?
888
00:55:53,633 --> 00:55:54,798
No speak English.
889
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:56,432
No English.
890
00:56:00,103 --> 00:56:02,336
Concepcion. Concepcion.
891
00:57:38,792 --> 00:57:42,693
In the most bizarre and tragic
turn in an already tragic story.
892
00:57:42,695 --> 00:57:44,828
The Incredible Shrinking
Woman, Pat Kramer,
893
00:57:44,830 --> 00:57:47,597
has been lost in a fatal
household accident.
894
00:57:47,599 --> 00:57:50,166
...that the whole nation
joined in mourning
895
00:57:50,168 --> 00:57:53,569
the untimely passing
of Pat Kramer.
896
00:57:53,571 --> 00:57:56,171
...that the hopes for the
Incredible Shrinking Woman
897
00:57:56,173 --> 00:57:58,139
are down the drain.
898
00:57:58,141 --> 00:57:59,507
Funeral at 11:00.
899
00:58:12,755 --> 00:58:15,822
Beloved friends and neighbors,
900
00:58:15,824 --> 00:58:18,724
we are gathered here
today to bid goodbye
901
00:58:18,726 --> 00:58:22,027
to a beautiful
and courageous woman
902
00:58:22,029 --> 00:58:25,663
who gave so very much
and got so little.
903
00:58:44,183 --> 00:58:47,117
No one will ever
fill your shoes.
904
00:59:53,650 --> 00:59:55,950
Help me! Somebody, help me.
905
00:59:55,952 --> 00:59:59,153
Where am I?
What am I doing in here?
906
00:59:59,155 --> 01:00:03,155
Somebody let me out of here!
Help me, please!
907
01:00:03,159 --> 01:00:06,326
Can't you hear me?
Please help me!
908
01:00:06,328 --> 01:00:10,328
Listen, there's been a mistake!
Somebody, there's been a big mistake!
909
01:00:11,865 --> 01:00:13,297
Oh, Dr. Ruth.
910
01:00:13,299 --> 01:00:17,100
Dr. Ruth, thank heavens.
Please, help me.
911
01:00:17,102 --> 01:00:18,968
Is something wrong...
912
01:00:18,970 --> 01:00:21,070
Is something wrong
with the monitors?
913
01:00:21,072 --> 01:00:25,072
I haven't caught him yet, but I
think Sidney plays with the wires.
914
01:00:25,609 --> 01:00:27,809
Please, somebody,
tell me where I am.
915
01:00:27,811 --> 01:00:29,811
Can he reach over there?
916
01:00:29,813 --> 01:00:33,314
I don't know. But then I don't know
how he does half the things he does.
917
01:00:33,316 --> 01:00:36,050
Like, how'd he learn sign
language in three weeks?
918
01:00:36,052 --> 01:00:38,052
How come he can beat
the computer at chess?
919
01:00:38,054 --> 01:00:40,854
You know, he's downright
abnormal if you ask me.
920
01:00:41,156 --> 01:00:42,922
No offense, Sidney.
921
01:00:47,861 --> 01:00:50,261
Please tell me where I am!
922
01:00:50,263 --> 01:00:53,631
If you're not quiet,
Mrs. Kramer,
923
01:00:53,633 --> 01:00:57,267
we're going to have
to sedate you again.
924
01:01:00,238 --> 01:01:03,072
Sidney's got another
one of his headaches.
925
01:01:03,074 --> 01:01:05,140
If you ask me, he's
addicted to pain pills.
926
01:01:05,142 --> 01:01:08,810
Well, he's been under
a lot of strain, you know.
927
01:01:08,812 --> 01:01:12,812
Cage is a mess. Clean
up all those banana peels!
928
01:01:15,717 --> 01:01:19,318
See, he's saying, "Sidney in pain.
Sidney head hurt."
929
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:21,086
Oh, poor Sidney.
930
01:01:21,088 --> 01:01:23,388
If you ask me, he's faking it.
931
01:01:23,390 --> 01:01:26,190
I'm sorry now we did
teach him sign language.
932
01:01:26,192 --> 01:01:28,859
All he ever does is complain.
933
01:01:28,861 --> 01:01:30,901
Now what's he trying to say?
934
01:01:33,664 --> 01:01:36,398
Sidney in pain.
935
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:39,033
Sidney heart hurt.
936
01:01:39,035 --> 01:01:40,667
Why should his heart hurt?
937
01:01:43,971 --> 01:01:47,038
It's my guess
he feels sorry for her.
938
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,873
Thousands and
thousands of dollars...
939
01:01:48,875 --> 01:01:51,955
...and all we've got to show for
it is a sentimental gorilla.
940
01:01:52,244 --> 01:01:54,310
Is this monitor working?
941
01:01:54,312 --> 01:01:58,312
Testing. One, two, three, four.
942
01:01:58,983 --> 01:02:01,950
Real cute, Sidney. Real cute.
943
01:02:11,961 --> 01:02:13,327
Dr. Nortz?
944
01:02:13,329 --> 01:02:15,195
Dr. Nortz?
945
01:02:15,197 --> 01:02:18,164
What kind of timeframe
are we dealing with?
946
01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:20,699
The answer's already
in her blood.
947
01:02:20,701 --> 01:02:24,701
We'd simply have to get the
answer before she disappears.
948
01:02:24,971 --> 01:02:27,738
Maybe we should kick
this around a little more.
949
01:02:28,874 --> 01:02:29,973
Too late now.
950
01:02:35,346 --> 01:02:37,713
I knew I'd found a friend.
951
01:02:37,715 --> 01:02:40,415
There was something I felt
from this big, sweet gorilla
952
01:02:40,417 --> 01:02:43,418
that can best be described
as human kindness.
953
01:02:43,420 --> 01:02:45,820
There had to be a way
we could help each other.
954
01:02:56,431 --> 01:02:59,899
Sidney, keys!
There must be keys!
955
01:02:59,901 --> 01:03:01,934
If you could get the keys
956
01:03:01,936 --> 01:03:05,237
and unlock your cage. The keys.
957
01:03:09,443 --> 01:03:12,010
Yes, you know,
you know, the keys!
958
01:03:16,014 --> 01:03:18,748
Hey, how you doing, guys?
959
01:03:18,750 --> 01:03:20,216
Here's looking at you.
960
01:03:23,054 --> 01:03:26,855
♫ And all the monkey's
aren't in the zoo
961
01:03:26,857 --> 01:03:29,924
♫ Every day
you meet quite a few
962
01:03:29,926 --> 01:03:32,459
♫ So, you see,
it's all up to you
963
01:03:32,461 --> 01:03:35,295
♫ You could be
swinging on a star ♫
964
01:03:35,297 --> 01:03:38,197
Sidney! Hey!
965
01:03:38,933 --> 01:03:40,766
What a mess.
966
01:03:41,435 --> 01:03:43,935
More banana peels.
967
01:03:45,338 --> 01:03:48,305
Oh, please, won't you help me?
968
01:03:48,307 --> 01:03:51,107
You look so much kinder
than the others.
969
01:03:51,109 --> 01:03:53,042
Look, I only work here, lady.
970
01:03:53,044 --> 01:03:54,977
Don't you know who I am?
971
01:03:54,979 --> 01:03:58,013
I'm the Shrinking Woman.
I'm Pat Kramer.
972
01:03:58,015 --> 01:04:01,383
Oh, they told me
you'd say that.
973
01:04:01,385 --> 01:04:05,385
You're Pat Kramer's clone.
The real Pat Kramer's dead.
974
01:04:06,823 --> 01:04:07,922
Dead?
975
01:04:07,924 --> 01:04:09,890
Deader than a doornail.
976
01:04:09,892 --> 01:04:13,159
Dr. Nortz made a clone of her
977
01:04:13,161 --> 01:04:14,326
right before she bit the dust.
978
01:04:14,328 --> 01:04:16,027
No, no, I'm not a clone.
I'm not.
979
01:04:16,029 --> 01:04:19,797
You've got to believe me.
Dr. Nortz is a liar!
980
01:04:19,799 --> 01:04:22,099
He took an oath when
he became a doctor.
981
01:04:22,101 --> 01:04:23,533
He's supposed... Listen,
982
01:04:23,535 --> 01:04:26,202
Dr. Nortz is a wonderful man.
983
01:04:26,204 --> 01:04:27,836
They're all wonderful here.
984
01:04:27,838 --> 01:04:30,772
This is a place where
great work is going on
985
01:04:30,774 --> 01:04:33,407
that will help all humanity.
986
01:04:33,409 --> 01:04:35,942
They told me so.
987
01:04:35,944 --> 01:04:39,504
Hey, Sidney, give
me back those keys.
988
01:04:43,350 --> 01:04:45,283
This is a horrible,
horrible place
989
01:04:45,285 --> 01:04:47,485
where people are
used like guinea pigs,
990
01:04:47,487 --> 01:04:49,754
even Sidney.
991
01:04:49,755 --> 01:04:52,022
You've got to help me.
Call my husband, please?
992
01:04:52,024 --> 01:04:54,157
Oh, please,
he must be worried sick.
993
01:04:54,159 --> 01:04:56,325
Look,
994
01:04:56,327 --> 01:04:59,060
I make it a point not to
get involved with clones.
995
01:05:08,071 --> 01:05:09,403
'Night, Sidney.
996
01:05:10,606 --> 01:05:12,472
Sidney, quick, the folder.
997
01:05:13,274 --> 01:05:14,373
That folder.
998
01:05:15,142 --> 01:05:16,241
Yes, yes.
999
01:05:23,015 --> 01:05:24,147
Put it right up here.
1000
01:05:27,519 --> 01:05:30,486
Oh! Thank you.
1001
01:05:30,488 --> 01:05:32,454
Oh! Thank you, Sidney.
1002
01:06:22,972 --> 01:06:24,438
I read all through the night.
1003
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:27,441
The horror in my heart
mounting with each page
1004
01:06:27,443 --> 01:06:31,443
as I learned of
their diabolical plan.
1005
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:35,481
These people were so big, the
only way they could become bigger
1006
01:06:35,483 --> 01:06:37,516
was by making
all of us smaller.
1007
01:06:39,219 --> 01:06:42,420
What little blood
I had left began to boil.
1008
01:06:42,422 --> 01:06:46,290
No! No, Sidney, you don't know
what they're trying to do to us.
1009
01:06:46,292 --> 01:06:48,625
You just can't imagine.
1010
01:06:51,629 --> 01:06:54,663
I couldn't stand by
and just let this happen.
1011
01:06:54,665 --> 01:06:57,699
But what could I, the smallest
person on the face of the earth
1012
01:06:57,701 --> 01:06:59,634
do to help anyone?
1013
01:06:59,636 --> 01:07:01,402
We gotta do something, Sidney.
1014
01:07:55,256 --> 01:07:56,688
Help, Sidney!
1015
01:08:05,631 --> 01:08:07,197
Thank you, Sidney.
1016
01:08:07,199 --> 01:08:08,665
Hey?
1017
01:08:08,667 --> 01:08:10,800
Hey, what's going on here?
1018
01:08:10,802 --> 01:08:12,768
Hey, what do you think
you're doing?
1019
01:08:14,471 --> 01:08:15,803
This is against regulations.
1020
01:08:17,540 --> 01:08:20,140
You could get us
all in a lot of trouble.
1021
01:08:20,142 --> 01:08:22,408
We're already in
a lot of trouble.
1022
01:08:22,410 --> 01:08:25,844
Dr. Nortz is planning to use
me to shrink the world.
1023
01:08:25,846 --> 01:08:28,546
I know you don't believe
me, but look in my folder.
1024
01:08:28,548 --> 01:08:32,149
Go ahead, look, read page 10.
The pink page.
1025
01:08:32,151 --> 01:08:33,817
Look, read it, you'll see!
1026
01:08:33,819 --> 01:08:35,718
Shrink the world?
1027
01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:37,286
Sidney, too?
1028
01:08:37,288 --> 01:08:39,288
All kinds of people, everybody.
1029
01:08:39,790 --> 01:08:41,623
Oh, please,
1030
01:08:41,625 --> 01:08:43,091
if you care about Sidney.
1031
01:08:43,093 --> 01:08:44,826
If you care about anything.
1032
01:08:44,828 --> 01:08:47,461
Please let me call
my husband. Please.
1033
01:08:47,463 --> 01:08:49,529
They really are planning
to shrink the world!
1034
01:08:49,531 --> 01:08:52,398
Vance! Vance, there's someone
on your private line.
1035
01:08:52,400 --> 01:08:53,832
She says she's your wife.
1036
01:08:54,668 --> 01:08:57,101
I gotta stop these crank calls.
1037
01:08:57,103 --> 01:08:58,402
Sorry, Dan.
1038
01:09:05,310 --> 01:09:08,344
Vance, Vance! It's me!
I'm alive! I'm alive!
1039
01:09:08,346 --> 01:09:10,145
Pat, my God, where are you?
1040
01:09:10,147 --> 01:09:12,447
Pat, my God!
Pat, where are you?
1041
01:09:12,449 --> 01:09:14,882
Vance, listen,
I don't have much time.
1042
01:09:14,884 --> 01:09:17,851
I've been kidnapped by the
Organization for World Management.
1043
01:09:17,853 --> 01:09:20,119
They wanna use me
to shrink the world.
1044
01:09:20,121 --> 01:09:21,553
Pat, my God! Where are you?
1045
01:09:21,555 --> 01:09:23,821
Oh, Rob, quick, where am I, Rob?
Where am I?
1046
01:09:23,823 --> 01:09:25,189
Oh, um...
1047
01:09:26,425 --> 01:09:28,658
Vance! Vance! Pat! Pat!
1048
01:09:28,660 --> 01:09:29,825
Vance! Vance!
1049
01:09:29,827 --> 01:09:31,426
Operator? Operator?
1050
01:09:31,428 --> 01:09:33,511
I'm so sorry,
1051
01:09:33,512 --> 01:09:35,595
but you have been disconnected from
the party to whom you were speaking.
1052
01:09:35,598 --> 01:09:39,432
And you better lay off
the buttons, buster!
1053
01:09:39,901 --> 01:09:41,233
Hello?
1054
01:09:44,204 --> 01:09:46,337
Rob, save yourself!
Save yourself!
1055
01:09:47,707 --> 01:09:49,907
Go on, save yourself!
1056
01:09:53,445 --> 01:09:56,412
Look, maybe I...
No, they'd find me.
1057
01:09:56,414 --> 01:10:00,414
All right, okay, look, I'll be
back, I'll be back. I swear.
1058
01:10:08,891 --> 01:10:12,225
No. Don't... You leave him alone!
Don't you hurt him!
1059
01:10:16,663 --> 01:10:19,664
Oh, you're in big trouble,
little lady.
1060
01:10:19,666 --> 01:10:21,932
I demand to know
what you did with Rob.
1061
01:10:21,934 --> 01:10:25,802
You're in no position
to demand anything.
1062
01:10:25,804 --> 01:10:28,437
Have you looked at yourself
in a mirror lately?
1063
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:29,938
Now, hold still.
1064
01:10:29,940 --> 01:10:33,741
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
1065
01:10:35,911 --> 01:10:37,877
I need some more
blood to work with.
1066
01:10:37,879 --> 01:10:39,945
- Don't touch me!
- Don't touch me!
1067
01:10:39,947 --> 01:10:42,314
Hold still. Hold.
1068
01:10:42,316 --> 01:10:44,482
No! No!
1069
01:10:50,355 --> 01:10:52,488
This news bulletin just in.
1070
01:10:52,490 --> 01:10:56,490
A new development in the increasingly
mysterious Pat Kramer case.
1071
01:10:57,627 --> 01:10:59,827
My wife is alive.
1072
01:10:59,829 --> 01:11:02,496
She phoned me,
she's been kidnapped.
1073
01:11:02,498 --> 01:11:04,664
I called the police and
they didn't believe me.
1074
01:11:04,666 --> 01:11:07,767
She's being held by a group
that call themselves
1075
01:11:07,769 --> 01:11:10,636
the Organization for World
Management or something.
1076
01:11:10,638 --> 01:11:12,504
I see.
You don't believe me, either.
1077
01:11:12,506 --> 01:11:14,639
My wife is alive.
My wife is alive!
1078
01:11:14,641 --> 01:11:17,808
I'm sorry. No, no, Mr. Kramer.
1079
01:11:17,810 --> 01:11:19,776
I was so small by afternoon
1080
01:11:19,778 --> 01:11:22,512
that I could slip through
the bars of my cage.
1081
01:11:22,514 --> 01:11:25,380
So they found
another prison for me.
1082
01:12:09,019 --> 01:12:10,852
Rob, I can't believe it!
1083
01:12:10,854 --> 01:12:12,486
I can't believe it!
1084
01:12:12,488 --> 01:12:14,387
We thought you were dead!
1085
01:12:14,389 --> 01:12:16,422
They couldn't catch me.
1086
01:12:16,424 --> 01:12:19,525
I know this place like
the back of my hand.
1087
01:12:19,527 --> 01:12:20,893
Here, Sidney.
1088
01:12:21,896 --> 01:12:23,262
Catch, Sidney.
1089
01:12:41,981 --> 01:12:43,680
You know,
it's our station's policy
1090
01:12:43,682 --> 01:12:46,582
to always try to present
both sides of every issue.
1091
01:12:46,584 --> 01:12:48,850
To answer Mr. Kramer's charges,
1092
01:12:48,852 --> 01:12:49,951
Mr. Logan Carver.
1093
01:12:49,953 --> 01:12:51,886
Thank you.
1094
01:12:51,888 --> 01:12:54,855
As a representative of the
Organization for World Management,
1095
01:12:54,857 --> 01:12:57,958
I can only say, Jacki, that of
course there's no connection
1096
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,727
between the deceased Kramer
woman and our company.
1097
01:13:00,729 --> 01:13:02,729
And that shocking phone call
1098
01:13:02,731 --> 01:13:06,731
can only be interpreted as a
heinous, sadistic crank call or
1099
01:13:08,469 --> 01:13:11,710
the understandably confused
imagination of a bereaved husband.
1100
01:13:21,914 --> 01:13:24,547
Lift. Lift.
1101
01:13:25,883 --> 01:13:27,916
Hurry. Hurry!
1102
01:13:28,685 --> 01:13:31,519
Lift. Lift.
1103
01:13:37,425 --> 01:13:39,625
It's too risky
keeping her alive.
1104
01:13:39,627 --> 01:13:40,726
The gorilla,
1105
01:13:42,496 --> 01:13:43,795
he could talk.
1106
01:13:43,797 --> 01:13:44,962
Mmm.
1107
01:13:47,066 --> 01:13:48,698
They're escaping.
1108
01:13:48,700 --> 01:13:49,832
And so are we.
1109
01:13:56,504 --> 01:13:58,604
Oh, look out! Wait, Rob.
1110
01:13:59,640 --> 01:14:02,907
Rob, get the pink page.
Wait, Sidney. Wait!
1111
01:14:02,909 --> 01:14:04,375
Oh, thank you, Sidney.
1112
01:14:04,377 --> 01:14:06,009
Come on, Sidney.
1113
01:14:30,899 --> 01:14:32,531
Let go of me!
1114
01:14:39,505 --> 01:14:40,637
There he is!
1115
01:14:44,643 --> 01:14:45,883
Which way did they go?
1116
01:14:47,044 --> 01:14:48,743
This way, men, come on.
1117
01:14:51,114 --> 01:14:52,480
Fire!
1118
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:30,046
Up, Sidney. Up.
1119
01:15:30,048 --> 01:15:31,947
The street is up.
Press the up bottom.
1120
01:15:31,949 --> 01:15:34,248
Good boy, yes.
1121
01:15:37,186 --> 01:15:38,552
They're in car number two.
1122
01:15:38,554 --> 01:15:39,719
They're headed for the street.
1123
01:15:39,721 --> 01:15:41,687
Cut the power
in car number two.
1124
01:15:42,856 --> 01:15:44,589
We're almost to the top.
1125
01:15:44,591 --> 01:15:47,024
We're almost there, Sidney,
we're almost there.
1126
01:15:48,827 --> 01:15:51,527
We're trapped.
We're trapped, Sidney.
1127
01:15:53,196 --> 01:15:54,862
Sidney, the escape hatch!
1128
01:15:54,864 --> 01:15:57,598
In the ceiling.
The escape hatch.
1129
01:15:57,600 --> 01:15:59,566
Open the escape hatch.
1130
01:15:59,568 --> 01:16:01,000
Open it, Sidney!
1131
01:16:14,312 --> 01:16:15,711
Oh, Sidney!
1132
01:16:17,781 --> 01:16:19,614
There he is! Up there!
1133
01:16:20,717 --> 01:16:21,957
He's on the rope.
1134
01:16:30,325 --> 01:16:31,657
Freeze!
1135
01:16:32,259 --> 01:16:33,691
Sidney!
1136
01:16:35,027 --> 01:16:37,694
Sidney, jump, jump. Now!
1137
01:16:37,696 --> 01:16:38,936
Come on!
1138
01:16:40,765 --> 01:16:42,264
Come on. Jump!
1139
01:17:22,265 --> 01:17:24,898
Don't let them get away.
After them!
1140
01:17:27,636 --> 01:17:29,068
Oh, Sidney!
1141
01:17:29,070 --> 01:17:32,704
We're okay. We're safe.
It's my shopping center.
1142
01:17:32,706 --> 01:17:34,639
Now, I'm not
a professional actress.
1143
01:17:34,641 --> 01:17:36,874
I am a real person,
like yourself.
1144
01:17:36,876 --> 01:17:38,742
And I'm not here
to sell you a product,
1145
01:17:38,744 --> 01:17:41,211
but to give you some
good consumer advice.
1146
01:17:51,789 --> 01:17:53,288
What are you,
some kind of a nut?
1147
01:17:55,292 --> 01:17:56,391
Arrest me!
1148
01:17:56,393 --> 01:17:58,226
You haven't done anything!
1149
01:18:02,196 --> 01:18:03,361
Be careful.
1150
01:18:28,820 --> 01:18:30,986
Everyone, please. Everyone.
1151
01:18:31,655 --> 01:18:32,954
Listen to me.
1152
01:18:32,956 --> 01:18:34,655
It's me. I'm Pat Kramer!
1153
01:18:34,657 --> 01:18:36,957
Everyone!
Everyone, listen to me.
1154
01:18:36,959 --> 01:18:39,392
I'm the
Incredible Shrinking Woman.
1155
01:18:39,394 --> 01:18:41,861
That's Pat Kramer, my neighbor.
1156
01:18:41,863 --> 01:18:43,128
Someone call her husband.
1157
01:18:43,130 --> 01:18:45,830
She's alive.
I knew she was alive.
1158
01:18:45,832 --> 01:18:49,166
Yes. Yes, it's me. We escaped.
1159
01:18:49,168 --> 01:18:53,002
It's me. We made it. Everyone,
please, listen to me.
1160
01:18:53,704 --> 01:18:55,821
Uh...
1161
01:18:55,822 --> 01:18:58,742
Listen, I'm shrinking fast.
I don't have much time.
1162
01:18:58,975 --> 01:19:01,192
A minute ago,
1163
01:19:01,193 --> 01:19:03,410
I thought I... I felt it
was my duty to warn you
1164
01:19:03,412 --> 01:19:06,846
that what happened to
me could happen to you,
1165
01:19:06,848 --> 01:19:10,349
but, now, I feel different.
1166
01:19:10,351 --> 01:19:13,018
You don't need me to tell you
what's wrong with the world.
1167
01:19:14,121 --> 01:19:16,788
Oh, I wish Vance was here.
1168
01:19:16,790 --> 01:19:19,757
Now, Rob... Rob, you
take care of page 10.
1169
01:19:19,759 --> 01:19:21,859
Make sure it gets
in the right hands.
1170
01:19:21,861 --> 01:19:23,994
And, Sidney,
you take care of Rob.
1171
01:19:26,398 --> 01:19:30,032
I feel just like I'm
becoming part of everything,
1172
01:19:31,101 --> 01:19:32,934
and everyone.
1173
01:19:32,936 --> 01:19:34,869
Here I go. Goodbye.
1174
01:19:34,871 --> 01:19:36,560
Excuse me.
1175
01:19:36,561 --> 01:19:38,250
Oh, Vance, I never thought
I'd see you again.
1176
01:19:38,251 --> 01:19:39,940
Vance, Jeff, I'm not afraid.
Don't you be.
1177
01:19:39,942 --> 01:19:41,308
I love you.
1178
01:19:41,310 --> 01:19:43,877
♫ I wish I was
a little bar of soap
1179
01:19:43,879 --> 01:19:46,112
♫ I wish I was
a little bar of soap ♫
1180
01:20:52,077 --> 01:20:53,843
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
1181
01:20:53,845 --> 01:20:57,213
This is Lyle Parks and
the entire KXRZ news team,
1182
01:20:57,215 --> 01:21:00,249
coming to you live from
Tasty Meadows, California.
1183
01:21:00,251 --> 01:21:02,868
For the last eight hours,
1184
01:21:02,869 --> 01:21:05,486
top level network officials and
statesmen have met behind closed doors
1185
01:21:05,489 --> 01:21:09,457
to join together in finding a way to
demonstrate the worldwide mourning
1186
01:21:09,459 --> 01:21:13,459
occasioned by the almost unbelievable
death of Mrs. Pat Kramer.
1187
01:21:13,863 --> 01:21:16,797
And so, at midnight tonight,
the world will be united
1188
01:21:16,799 --> 01:21:19,966
as bells all over the world
ring out in her memory.
1189
01:21:19,968 --> 01:21:22,568
This remarkable event will
be broadcast via satellite.
1190
01:21:22,570 --> 01:21:25,137
A fitting tribute to an
extraordinary little woman
1191
01:21:25,139 --> 01:21:27,038
whose life was not
lived in vain.
1192
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:29,306
Biggest rating in TV history.
1193
01:21:30,575 --> 01:21:32,742
Shove it, Dan.
1194
01:21:32,743 --> 01:21:34,910
...meaningless or insignificant
we may think we are,
1195
01:21:34,912 --> 01:21:37,579
even the smallest of us
can make a difference.
1196
01:21:37,581 --> 01:21:41,581
I'm here tonight, standing amongst
her noble and very caring neighbors.
1197
01:21:42,385 --> 01:21:46,220
People you've come to know
almost as well as Pat herself.
1198
01:21:46,222 --> 01:21:48,255
The tiny woman who did
1199
01:21:48,257 --> 01:21:50,523
what all the big powerful
political leaders of our time
1200
01:21:50,525 --> 01:21:53,125
have tried to do
so often and failed.
1201
01:21:53,127 --> 01:21:56,895
She brought the world together,
if only for a moment.
1202
01:21:56,897 --> 01:21:59,831
We thank you, Pat.
It's midnight.
1203
01:22:22,421 --> 01:22:24,120
...and historical Big Ben,
1204
01:22:24,122 --> 01:22:27,056
while the majestic bells
of St. Paul's Cathedral
1205
01:22:27,058 --> 01:22:29,525
toll the passing
of Patricia Kramer.
1206
01:22:29,527 --> 01:22:32,561
The American lady who has captured
the hearts and the respect
1207
01:22:32,563 --> 01:22:34,029
of the British nation...
1208
01:22:42,072 --> 01:22:45,006
Remarkable event will
be broadcast via satellite,
1209
01:22:45,008 --> 01:22:47,308
a fitting tribute to the
extraordinary little woman
1210
01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:50,044
whose life was
not lived in vain.
1211
01:22:50,046 --> 01:22:52,246
Pat Kramer should
remind us all that
1212
01:22:52,248 --> 01:22:54,565
no matter how small,
1213
01:22:54,566 --> 01:22:56,883
meaningless or insignificant
we may think we are,
1214
01:22:56,885 --> 01:22:59,485
even the smallest of us
can make a difference.
1215
01:23:14,067 --> 01:23:17,201
We give you the remarkable
last moments of Pat Kramer,
1216
01:23:17,203 --> 01:23:19,269
just before she blew away.
1217
01:23:24,442 --> 01:23:26,508
This lady
says she belongs here.
1218
01:23:28,978 --> 01:23:31,044
Oh, Mom! Pam!
1219
01:23:31,046 --> 01:23:32,345
Oh, my God!
1220
01:23:34,415 --> 01:23:36,948
Oh, my God! Pat! What happened?
1221
01:23:36,950 --> 01:23:38,950
I fell in a puddle. I
swallowed half of it...
1222
01:23:38,952 --> 01:23:40,251
Honey, I don't know!
1223
01:23:42,454 --> 01:23:45,555
Oh, Mommy!
1224
01:23:45,557 --> 01:23:49,292
Oh, oh, she's back!
Pat, Pat, everybody!
1225
01:23:49,294 --> 01:23:51,994
Everybody, Pat!
Come here, come here.
1226
01:23:52,997 --> 01:23:55,197
Everyone, look! Look!
1227
01:23:56,066 --> 01:23:57,265
She's back!
1228
01:23:57,267 --> 01:23:59,333
Everybody!
Everybody, she's back!
1229
01:23:59,335 --> 01:24:00,400
Look at her!
1230
01:24:00,402 --> 01:24:02,569
She's back! She's back!
1231
01:24:02,571 --> 01:24:03,803
She's back!
1232
01:24:03,805 --> 01:24:05,237
She's back!
1233
01:24:05,239 --> 01:24:06,638
She's back!
1234
01:24:08,174 --> 01:24:09,373
Arrest this man.
1235
01:24:09,375 --> 01:24:11,541
But you haven't done anything.
Trust me.
1236
01:24:11,543 --> 01:24:13,276
It's good to
have you back, Pat.
1237
01:24:18,615 --> 01:24:21,582
Mother, come look!
1238
01:24:21,584 --> 01:24:25,352
Oh, Sidney! Oh, Sidney!
1239
01:24:27,089 --> 01:24:28,421
Can we keep him, Mom?
Can we keep him?
1240
01:24:28,423 --> 01:24:29,622
Dad said we could.
1241
01:24:29,624 --> 01:24:31,223
Of course we can keep him.
1242
01:24:31,225 --> 01:24:32,457
All right!
1243
01:24:32,725 --> 01:24:34,057
Pat?
1244
01:24:36,461 --> 01:24:39,195
Mom, do A Little Bar
of Soap for Sidney.
1245
01:24:41,098 --> 01:24:43,231
Time to put this on again,
honey.
1246
01:24:47,503 --> 01:24:50,403
Oh, Pat, Pat, Pat.
1247
01:24:50,405 --> 01:24:54,340
Seeing you like this, it's just
like everything is the same again.
1248
01:24:54,342 --> 01:24:57,142
Oh, no, Judith, nothing will
ever be the same again.
1249
01:24:57,144 --> 01:24:58,376
That's funny.
1250
01:24:58,378 --> 01:25:00,211
Push harder, honey.
1251
01:25:00,213 --> 01:25:03,247
Is that big monkey actually going
to live in our neighborhood?
1252
01:25:03,249 --> 01:25:05,482
Here, let me try, sweetheart.
1253
01:25:27,737 --> 01:25:31,705
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1254
01:25:31,707 --> 01:25:35,707
♫ What would we do
without Galaxy Glue
1255
01:25:35,877 --> 01:25:39,812
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1256
01:25:39,814 --> 01:25:43,814
♫ Life would go to pieces
without Galaxy Glue
1257
01:25:48,289 --> 01:25:52,224
♫ A part of me, like my anatomy
1258
01:25:52,226 --> 01:25:56,194
♫ Much like the stars are
to the sky
1259
01:25:56,196 --> 01:25:59,497
♫ Look up and
there's another one to buy
1260
01:25:59,499 --> 01:26:03,499
♫ And I wonder why
1261
01:26:03,569 --> 01:26:07,170
♫ I can't live my life
without 'em
1262
01:26:07,172 --> 01:26:10,606
♫ They stick to me
They stick to you
1263
01:26:11,675 --> 01:26:15,643
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1264
01:26:15,645 --> 01:26:19,645
♫ What would we do
without Galaxy Glue
1265
01:26:19,882 --> 01:26:23,717
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1266
01:26:23,719 --> 01:26:27,719
♫ Life would go to pieces
without Galaxy Glue
1267
01:26:31,860 --> 01:26:35,860
♫ For sex appeal
And for my thrills and ills
1268
01:26:36,264 --> 01:26:40,199
♫ They all make claims
to be the best
1269
01:26:40,201 --> 01:26:43,468
♫ Try one and
there's a better one to test
1270
01:26:43,470 --> 01:26:47,338
♫ Then it comes to me
1271
01:26:47,340 --> 01:26:50,874
♫ Stop and think
They couldn't possibly
1272
01:26:50,876 --> 01:26:54,876
♫ Be all they say
Worth all I pay
1273
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:59,480
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1274
01:26:59,684 --> 01:27:03,652
♫ What would we do
without Galaxy Glue
1275
01:27:03,654 --> 01:27:07,654
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1276
01:27:07,724 --> 01:27:11,724
♫ Life would go to pieces
without Galaxy Glue
1277
01:27:15,831 --> 01:27:19,831
♫ Desirable I'm so desirable
1278
01:27:19,935 --> 01:27:23,903
♫ Right close to me
they wanna be
1279
01:27:23,905 --> 01:27:27,373
♫ They promise that they'll
take good care of me
1280
01:27:27,375 --> 01:27:31,375
♫ I just love 'em all
1281
01:27:31,445 --> 01:27:34,913
♫ But they make me seem
so very small
1282
01:27:34,915 --> 01:27:38,316
♫ They look to me
I look to them
1283
01:27:39,485 --> 01:27:43,485
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1284
01:27:43,522 --> 01:27:47,522
♫ What would we do
without Galaxy Glue
1285
01:27:47,592 --> 01:27:51,592
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1286
01:27:51,662 --> 01:27:55,662
♫ Life would go to pieces
without Galaxy Glue
1287
01:27:59,870 --> 01:28:03,870
♫ Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue
1288
01:28:03,940 --> 01:28:07,441
♫ What would we do
without Galaxy Glue ♫
98016
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