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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,468 -[wheels rattling] -[quick footsteps] 2 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,597 {\an8}[soft hooting] 3 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,772 -[doors bump open, shut] -[soft snuffling] 4 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,025 {\an8}[low hooting] 5 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:40,827 It's okay, little fella. 6 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,786 No one's gonna hurt ya. 7 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,788 [soft chittering] 8 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,514 [Peter Schilling's "Major Tom (Coming Home)" plays] 9 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,679 [video camera whirring] 10 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,139 [chimp hooting softly] 11 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,269 -[stopwatch clicks] -[bell dings] 12 00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:03,353 [whines softly] 13 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,518 [soft chittering] 14 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,775 -[camera continues whirring] -[soft grunts] 15 00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:19,616 ♪ Standing there alone The ship is waiting ♪ 16 00:01:19,704 --> 00:01:21,584 -[grunts, squeaks] -♪ All systems are go ♪ 17 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,044 -[clicks] -♪ Are you sure? ♪ 18 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,834 -♪ Control is not convinced ♪ -[chimp hoots] 19 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,588 ♪ But their computer has the evidence ♪ 20 00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:30,220 -[excited hooting] -♪ No need to abort ♪ 21 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,592 ♪ The countdown starts ♪ 22 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,889 ♪ Watching in a trance The crew is certain ♪ 23 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:40,892 ♪ Nothing left to chance All is working ♪ 24 00:01:40,975 --> 00:01:44,055 ♪ Trying to relax Up in the capsule... ♪ 25 00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:48,065 [man] This is Mercury control. The Mercury spacecraft umbilical is out. 26 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:51,690 -Nine, eight, seven, six... -♪ The countdown is on ♪ 27 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:55,658 -...five, four, three, two, one. -♪ Four, three, two, one ♪ 28 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,620 -Ignition... [continues indistinctly] -♪ Earth below us ♪ 29 00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:01,831 ♪ Drifting, falling ♪ 30 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:04,623 -♪ Floating weightless ♪ -[shrieking] 31 00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:09,917 -♪ Calling, calling home ♪ -[soft hooting] 32 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,510 [man] Cabin pressure holding, 5.5. 33 00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,182 [soft hooting] 34 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,925 ♪ Second stage is cut We're now in orbit... ♪ 35 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,694 [man] Everything is a-okay in the cockpit. 36 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,309 -♪ Starting to collect ♪ -[bell dings] 37 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,516 -♪ Requested data ♪ -[hooting] 38 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,815 -♪ What will it affect... ♪ -[console beeps] 39 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,861 [man] He's going to hand-control movement now. 40 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,784 -[alarm beeping] -[controllers clicking] 41 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:37,945 -[thunderous boom] -[warning alarm sounding] 42 00:02:38,032 --> 00:02:42,792 -♪ Earth below us, drifting, falling ♪ -[nervous chittering] 43 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:45,671 -♪ Floating weightless ♪ -[shrieking] 44 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:51,748 ♪ Calling, calling home ♪ 45 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,005 [shrieking, silence] 46 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,802 [man] Do you have any word from the recovery troops? 47 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,573 [no audible dialogue] 48 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,675 ♪ Earth below us ♪ 49 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,475 ♪ Drifting, falling ♪ 50 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,899 -[Grace gasps] -♪ Floating weightless ♪ 51 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,269 ♪ Coming home ♪ 52 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:56,190 ♪ Home... ♪ 53 00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:59,527 [reading in Ancient Greek] 54 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,405 [in English] "Sing in me, Muse, 55 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:12,086 and through me tell the story of that man skilled in all ways of contending, 56 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,844 the wanderer, 57 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,959 harried for years on end--" 58 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,917 Reggie, he's sleepin'. 59 00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,302 [squeaks softly] 60 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,636 [Reginald] Then I suppose Homer will have to wait. 61 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:33,901 ♪ Home ♪ 62 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:39,567 ♪ Home ♪ 63 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:42,914 ♪ Home ♪ 64 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,411 [song fades out] 65 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,832 You know, I'm starting to get the feeling Dad's avoiding us. 66 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,621 {\an8}[Lila sighs] Hate to be the boring one, guys, 67 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,785 {\an8}but, uh, it's time we get the hell out of here. 68 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:53,673 {\an8}When you say "we," who exactly are you referring to? 69 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,591 Not a lot of ambiguity in that sentence. 70 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,760 {\an8}Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, 71 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:02,218 {\an8}but whatever it is, I'd advise you return posthaste. 72 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,012 {\an8}She's right, Five. We gotta get outta here. 73 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,755 I just saved your life, you kinder-shit. 74 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,139 If I hadn't stepped in, all that would be left of you 75 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,734 is a blazer and some bloody socks. 76 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,269 And that's the problem.  77 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,114 You're too good. You ask too many questions. 78 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,478 You know too much. 79 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,895 And you fight like you know what you're doing. 80 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,534 -He's got a point. -So I know how to handle myself, 81 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:21,781 and that makes me the bad guy? 82 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,873 Whoever you are, you're in my way. 83 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,949 If I see you again, I will kill you. 84 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,003 Diego, we need to go. 85 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:40,381 I was getting my ass handed to me back there. 86 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,085 You helped Five, not me. 87 00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:45,927 -Why? -Because he's a kid and you're a man. 88 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,431 Bloody act like one. 89 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,772 Diego, I... I... 90 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,483 -We shouldn't-- -You know what? 91 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,976 I'm used to dealing with liars, Lila, 92 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,357 but I like it better when I know what they're lying about. 93 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,364 [soft piano melody plays] 94 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,906 Oh, come on, Diego. Really? You're just gonna walk away? 95 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,368 Diego. 96 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,046 [groans] 97 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,053 [Ben] And how are we feeling this morning? 98 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,474 Oh, peaches and cream. How are you? 99 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,428 Curious, how many more rock-bottoms are you gonna have to hit 100 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:33,596 -before you start taking care of yourself? -[sighs] 101 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:39,524 I'm thinking of a number between... 11 and... 25. 102 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,824 What ghost are you talking to now? 103 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,568 Oh, just another... 104 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,986 just another old cowboy. 105 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,655 Texas is lousy with them. 106 00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:53,203 They're usually pretty cute, but this one is... 107 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,955 this one is ugly and... 108 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,706 dumb. 109 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,292 Is that really necessary? 110 00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:00,587 [Klaus] Mm-hmm. 111 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,376 You want some? 112 00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,091 Klaus, if you're looking for an enabler, look elsewhere. 113 00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:12,469 Allison, your marriage is in trouble and your rally turned into a riot. 114 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,807 If now's not the time to do some drink party, 115 00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,443 I don't know when is. 116 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:26,204 What happened? 117 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,159 Oh, where to begin? [chuckles] 118 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:32,368 My claustrophobic cult tracked me down, I fell off the wagon, 119 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,542 and I professed my undying love for... 120 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:36,832 [belches] 121 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,254 ...this young gay man who doesn't know he's gay yet 122 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:44,383 at a 1963 diner in front of his blatantly closeted uncle. 123 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,756 Yeah, well, not in that order, but... 124 00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,054 Mmm! 125 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,932 -Aren't we a pair? [sniffs] -[chuckles] Yeah. 126 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,900 -Oh, Jesus. -[laughs softly] 127 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,689 -[flask clatters] -Hey, uh, excuse me. 128 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,272 -Attagirl. -[Allison] I've got a blender 129 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,737 and some much better booze. 130 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,488 So, if we're gonna start day-drinking, we should do it right. 131 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:12,615 -[whimpers] I love you so much. -[chuckles] 132 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,792 Yeah. Yeah! 133 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,246 Oh! 134 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,455 {\an8}-[chickens clucking] -[cow moos] 135 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:24,132 -[rooster crows] -[soft guitar song plays on radio] 136 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,477 Morning. 137 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,851 Hey. Is that coffee? 138 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:43,190 Want some? 139 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,276 -What time is it? -[Sissy sighs] 140 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,698 I don't know, and I don't care. 141 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,201 Yeah, you do. 142 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:59,159 Oh, my God. 143 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,957 I think we've earned a day off. 144 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,420 Okay, half a day. 145 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:04,923 A few hours. 146 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:06,883 Hush up. 147 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,716 What is it? 148 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,391 Do we need to talk? 149 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,395 -A-About... -Do you want to? 150 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,645 [Sissy sighs heavily] 151 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,698 Talking makes things real, 152 00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:33,315 and real things end. 153 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,156 This feels sweeter than that. 154 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:43,002 You know yesterday when you were talking about us running away? 155 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,835 -What if we could? -[Sissy] Where would we go? 156 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,263 Somewhere safe for Harlan and... 157 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,591 where we could be together like this 158 00:09:52,883 --> 00:09:54,013 all the time. 159 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,099 I'd go there right now. 160 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,152 -[dog barks outside] -[Sissy chuckles] 161 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,695 -[dog barks] -[horn honks] 162 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:15,159 [Sissy gasping] 163 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,159 Oh, shit. 164 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:17,662 Carl's back early. 165 00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:20,366 [sizzling] 166 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,206 [Diego] No, no, no, I don't understand. They keep following me. 167 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,380 -[Luther] Wait, who? -Those Dutch sociopaths. 168 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,089 They're Swedish, you idiot. 169 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,959 Hired guns paid to eradicate us 170 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,256 before we do any more damage to this timeline. 171 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:35,180 Yeah, but why now? I mean, I'm... [snaps fingers] 172 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,389 ...fine for three months until you showed up. 173 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,850 Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me. 174 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,185 Even if it was my fault, which it isn't, 175 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,686 we only have six days before the end of the world, 176 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:51,442 and the closest anyone's gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate. 177 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,898 Well... [sighs] 178 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:55,945 ...that's not exactly true. 179 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,158 What do you mean? 180 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,750 I saw him. 181 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,290 -Oh, shit! -[upbeat guitar instrumentals playing] 182 00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:11,669 [Luther] Diego! 183 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,011 Five? 184 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,336 Allison! 185 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:20,224 -Allis-- -Allison! 186 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,720 Two-ninety-two... 187 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:25,940 Two-ninety-three. 188 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,111 Hey, um, I'm seven cents short. 189 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,778 Uh... give me what you got. 190 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,948 [Luther] Oh, shit. [muttering] 191 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:44,946 Damn it. 192 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:47,584 Sorry about that. 193 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:48,828 Thanks. 194 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:50,665 [groans] 195 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,205 That boy stinks. 196 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,675 [brakes hissing] 197 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,561 [upbeat guitar instrumentals continue] 198 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,166 [sighs] Home. 199 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:35,878 [exhales] "This is gonna sound crazy, 200 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,045 but, Reginald Hargreeves... 201 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,681 I am your son." 202 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,266 [Four Holidays' "He Can't Love You" plays on radio] 203 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:47,678 [people chattering] 204 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,557 [woman 1] Let's get back on that dance floor. 205 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,902 -Whoo-hoo! -[woman 2] Yes! 206 00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,319 ♪ He can't love you ♪ 207 00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:56,938 -♪ He can't love you ♪ -♪ He can't love you ♪ 208 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,066 [woman 3] He stinks. 209 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,492 -♪ He can't love you ♪ -♪ He can't love you ♪ 210 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,662 -♪ He can't love you ♪ -♪ Naw ♪ 211 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,791 ♪ Don't you know that He just can't make it ♪ 212 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:08,579 -♪ Better ♪ -♪ Better, better ♪ 213 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,082 -♪ Better ♪ -♪ Oh, better than I can... ♪ 214 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:11,995 Dad? 215 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,302 [Reginald] Please, the world's never going to end in such a cliché. 216 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:17,632 Believe me. 217 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,760 I know how endings feel. 218 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,836 Reg, with all these bombs and big red buttons, 219 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,007 we're bloody close to the end of the world. 220 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,889 -Even a fool can see that. -[Reginald] I will give you this: 221 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:32,852 the physics of numerous quanta tells us that we cannot be certain about anything, 222 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,520 especially if time is concerned. 223 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,435 Even if you knew everything there is to know about right now, 224 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,146 you could never predict what will happen next. 225 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:44,817 We don't live in a universe of rules, we live in a universe of chances. 226 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:48,162 Some events, however, are more likely than others. 227 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:52,790 For instance, it is a near certainty that in the next few minutes, 228 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:55,877 I am going to get another glass of champagne. 229 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,920 [group laughs] 230 00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,760 Would you look at that? 231 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,048 This is gonna sound crazy, but, uh... 232 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,223 I'm your son. 233 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,272 No, you're not. 234 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,650 -But, no, I'm... I'm from the future. -[Reginald] No, you're not. 235 00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:19,526 You adopted me and six other children in 1989. 236 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:20,648 -No, I didn't. -I-- 237 00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:22,565 I know about the moon base. 238 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,487 I know about all your experiments with monkeys. 239 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,413 Apes. 240 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:31,246 Look, I know everything about you. 241 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,123 Please... 242 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,456 I need your help. 243 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,836 Listen, I don't know who sent you 244 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,758 or what you want, 245 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:45,049 but you can run back to your masters at CIA or KGB 246 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,514 and tell them that this is the most ridiculous gambit in spycraft history. 247 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,306 What? Why? Why is it ridiculous? 248 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,349 You know time travel is possible. 249 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,933 Time travel isn't the problem. 250 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,813 I have a deep dislike of children. 251 00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,147 I do not have them, nor do I intend to have them, 252 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,572 but if for some reason I did, 253 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,030 I would expect more from them than a scruffy face, 254 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,361 poor hygiene, and your grotesque, simian proportions. 255 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,118 But... 256 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:13,196 I took a bus. 257 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:14,787 I don't care. 258 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:19,882 Now, take yourself and the stench of failure that encircles you 259 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,420 and get out of my house. 260 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:25,296 -[people whispering] -[somber instrumental music playing] 261 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,801 -[Diego] That's pathetic. -[Luther] Yeah, well, 262 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,426 -at least he didn't shank my ass. -[Diego] No, bro, 263 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:34,927 he shanked your heart. 264 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,520 [Luther] Mm. 265 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,903 Is that my bathrobe? 266 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,360 -No. -[Five] Look, who cares what he shanked? 267 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,821 -He knows something about time travel. -[Elliott] Um... 268 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,952 Wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out? 269 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,660 Anyone care to explain? 270 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,947 First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse. 271 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,620 Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls. 272 00:15:56,705 --> 00:15:57,665 Last time I tried, 273 00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,788 I scattered my family across three years in Dallas, Texas, 274 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,706 possibly triggering a doomsday. 275 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,797 Any more questions, Elliott? 276 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,340 -Uh, no. -[Diego] You're missing the big picture. 277 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:10,014 Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal 278 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,894 that's planning to kill the president. 279 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,261 -A cabal? -[Five] Ignore him. 280 00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,931 Look, the way I see it, we only have one option. 281 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,476 [Luther] Oh, yeah? And what's that? 282 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,769 It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together. 283 00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,359 Hell, yeah. Family meeting. 284 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,269 Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please? 285 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,528 You two still a thing? 286 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,865 -Do we need to talk? -No, she's married. 287 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,539 Whoa. Dude, that's rough. 288 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,370 I can handle it. [chuckles] 289 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:38,084 I'll get her. 290 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,250 Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death? 291 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,001 I'll try. 292 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,380 Wait! D-- 293 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,088 Uh... 294 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,383 What should I do? 295 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,218 Prepare for company. 296 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,590 [Carl] Oh, you should've seen it. 297 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,007 He said, "All the HoJo's in the Southwest District." 298 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:57,176 And I said, "All the HoJo's?" 'Cause I wasn't sure if I heard him right. 299 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:59,476 And he said, "Yup! All the HoJo's." 300 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,519 Vanya, did you hear the news? 301 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:05,023 How would she, Carl? She doesn't subscribe to Showerheads Today. 302 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,397 [Carl] I'm in such a good mood, 303 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,493 I'm gonna let that jape pass without comment. 304 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,739 [Sissy] That is a comment. 305 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,780 [Carl] Vanya, you are lookin' at the man 306 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,534 who has closed the biggest deal ever 307 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,735 for Waterton Shower and Shower Accessories Limited. 308 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:17,867 That's great, Carl. 309 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:19,163 [Carl] Thank you, Vanya. 310 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,458 You see, Sissy? 311 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:25,039 That is how you congratulate the consummate conquering breadwinner. 312 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,127 Carl, stop. 313 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,261 Baby, I got such a day planned for the three of us. 314 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,668 First, we'll hit up the Egyptian Room breakfast buffet, 315 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,378 then watch some mutton bustin', 316 00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:35,428 and then take it to Cattlemen's for a big ole steak. Mmm... 317 00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:36,724 Hey, Vanya. 318 00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,727 Why don't you go ahead and take some time off? 319 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,768 -[Carl chuckles] -[Sissy] Carl, stop. 320 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,312 [Sissy] Not in front of Harlan. 321 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,935 [Carl scoffs] Harlan don't care. 322 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,687 I just want a kiss. 323 00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:48,534 -Can't you wait till we're alone? -[buzzing] 324 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:49,739 [Carl] No, baby. No, I can't. 325 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,778 -Well, you're gonna have to. -[Vanya] Carl. 326 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,822 -Stay out of this, Vanya. -[Carl] Sissy. 327 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,158 -[buzzing grows louder] -The hell's going on with you? 328 00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,243 I'm just sick and tired 329 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,538 -of you not listening! -[slams table] 330 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:04,955 [Carl] Well, I'm sick and tired of having to fight for your goddamn attention. 331 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,292 Are you my wife or not? 332 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,506 -[glass cracks loudly] -[thunder rumbles] 333 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:10,918 [Carl] What in the hell was that? 334 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:25,845 Harlan, honey? 335 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:27,935 Let's get your shoes on. Come on. 336 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,364 Are you okay? 337 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:30,897 Yeah, I'm fine. 338 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,653 Just spending the day with my family. 339 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,054 [door shuts] 340 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:56,891 Did you set me up? 341 00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,561 -Sweetie, really? -Those Nordic shitwits? 342 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,019 You said they were Commission. You said they were on our side. 343 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,390 Well, I was in the process of executing our mission, 344 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,517 my mission that you gave me, and they got in the way. 345 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,314 -Oh, my. -And now my cover's blown. 346 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:12,188 Five wants to kill me, and I don't know what the hell it is you're after. 347 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,945 Did you bring me what I asked for? 348 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:19,578 [Lila] Here. 349 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,367 Diego's knife. 350 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,004 -[Handler] Sit. -No. 351 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:29,593 Yes, you're bleeding, and all that rage is bad for your complexion. Sit. 352 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,998 [Lila] Fine, but I'm not done being mad at you. 353 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:35,972 [Handler] You're right. 354 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,925 I have been lying to you. 355 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,179 Commission... 356 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,927 -has no idea... -[gasps softly] 357 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:49,314 -...that we're here. -So, what are we doing here? 358 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:50,556 We are... 359 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:53,572 making something right... 360 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:58,533 that has been wrong for a very, very long time. 361 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,454 -Just about done with your riddles, Mum. -Oh, are you just about done now? 362 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:04,333 You've done a couple missions, now you know everything? Huh? Is that it? 363 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:05,251 Huh? 364 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,459 Big Lila, all in charge, not trusting her mother, 365 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,710 her mother who yanked her out of that horrid little slum, 366 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:17,173 her mother who rescued her from those gin-addled, neglectful parents, 367 00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,427 her mother who taught her how to live, how to love, 368 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,257 -how to survive? -You just said you lied. 369 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,636 You lied to them and they lied to me and everybody lies to everyone else. 370 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:26,934 Grow up, buttercup. 371 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:27,847 Ow. 372 00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,401 [Handler sighs] 373 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:34,148 If I thought you needed to know the truth, I would've told you the truth, 374 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,153 but you didn't, and so I didn't, 375 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,065 and everything worked out just fine. 376 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,490 No, it hasn't. I lost Five. 377 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:41,908 Is he dead? 378 00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:44,829 No. But he kicked me out of his merry little band. 379 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,910 -Ugh. Your wound is weeping. -Oh. 380 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,205 Oh, my dear, that... 381 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,999 -that's not a problem at all. -Why not? 382 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,173 Well, because... 383 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,343 I have a very busy day scheduled for us. 384 00:20:58,131 --> 00:20:59,341 Oh... Ugh. 385 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:08,349 [Elliott] Y'all know, Jell-O used to be a delicacy. 386 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:10,347 You know, in order to make it, 387 00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,595 you gotta boil down a whole mess of hooves... 388 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,898 you know, horses, cows, pigs, it doesn't matter. 389 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:18,192 But not everybody has a mess of hooves just lying around. 390 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:19,742 It wasn't until, uh... 391 00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:21,954 a couple of sassy New Yorkers 392 00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,831 figured out how to dry it out so that the rest of us 393 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:29,161 could have a... a chance to enjoy this ambrosia. 394 00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:31,416 If we have some, will you shut up? 395 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:32,752 Maybe. 396 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:34,879 Here. 397 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:42,625 How you feeling? 398 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,430 Pretty shitty, to be honest. 399 00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:46,971 Where would you say you are on a scale from one to... 400 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,556 ending all life on this planet? 401 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:49,929 Really? 402 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:53,561 Diego, put the knife away, you idiot. She's fine. 403 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:56,355 The last time I saw this one, she had me suspended midair, 404 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,940 sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles. 405 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,106 I think I'm allowed a little time to process. 406 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,324 Oh, I would love to see an energy tentacle. 407 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:06,235 I don't remember what I did,  but I'm sorry... 408 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,374 if... if that means anything. 409 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:13,211 It does. 410 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:15,792 Just going through a lot right now. 411 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:16,706 There's this... 412 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,300 girl that I like. 413 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,133 I thought she liked me, but turns out that she's... 414 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:23,375 -[door opens] -[Allison laughs] 415 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:24,507 Oh, thank God. 416 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,350 [Allison] Is anyone here? 417 00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:27,678 Hello? 418 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,313 [Klaus] Le petit mort, le petit mort. 419 00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:33,100 -[Allison] What? You don't speak French. -[Klaus] It's "the little death." 420 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:36,475 -[both chattering indistinctly] -[Allison laughing] 421 00:22:36,563 --> 00:22:38,943 [Klaus] Oh, wow. Look at this old stuff. 422 00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,072 Oh, wow. 423 00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:44,816 I know this is impossible, but... 424 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:48,280 did we all get sexier? 425 00:22:58,752 --> 00:22:59,632 Vanya. 426 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:02,875 I can't believe I have a sister. 427 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,728 I missed you. 428 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:19,361 Thank God someone did. [chuckles softly] 429 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:23,859 [both chuckle softly] 430 00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:30,365 -[Klaus grunts] -Oh, you are drunk. 431 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:33,410 Yeah. No, just a little... just a few... 432 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,501 Oh, that's so sweet. 433 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,959 -No. Jesus. -[Vanya giggles] 434 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,300 -Hi. -Hey, Vanny. 435 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,421 Klaus. Is Ben here? 436 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,468 Oh, uh... no. 437 00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:50,642 No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel. 438 00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:52,389 Are you kidding me? 439 00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,942 [Five] All right, then. Let's get down to business. 440 00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,062 -[Klaus] So, Vanny, what's new? -Hey, Diego. 441 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,858 -Can't say hi to nobody? -Hi, Allison. 442 00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:06,994 What was that? 443 00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:08,820 -Hi, Allison! -Thank you! 444 00:24:10,949 --> 00:24:12,659 [purring] 445 00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,288 [cats meowing] 446 00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:22,212 Why are we here? 447 00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:28,012 [Handler] You were always a climber, darling. 448 00:24:28,091 --> 00:24:29,511 [purring] 449 00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:33,806 [cat yowls] 450 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:39,518 [vacuum whirring] 451 00:24:43,523 --> 00:24:44,613 [cat meows] 452 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:46,937 [shushing] 453 00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:53,985 [loud thudding on roof] 454 00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:55,489 [clattering] 455 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,665 {\an8}[vacuum continues whirring] 456 00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:08,506 [cats meowing] 457 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:44,917 [meowing] 458 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,930 All right. First off, I wanna say I'm sorry. 459 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,640 I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole 460 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,680 going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing. 461 00:25:58,306 --> 00:25:59,676 But the real kick in the pants here 462 00:25:59,766 --> 00:26:02,226 is we brought the end of the world back here with us. 463 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,020 Oh, my God, again? 464 00:26:06,606 --> 00:26:08,016 All of you knew? 465 00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:10,898 Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- 466 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:12,196 Oh, my God. 467 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:15,739 My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! 468 00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:18,294 I told them we had until 2019. 469 00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:20,448 We have until Monday. We have six days. 470 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,447 Is it Vanya? 471 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:23,868 -Klaus. -[Klaus] What? It's usually Vanya. 472 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,459 Do you have any leads, Five? 473 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:27,995 [Five] Yeah, we have one. 474 00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:33,634 -Holy shit, is that Dad? -Yeah. 475 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:35,887 -That's him? -[Diego] Standing on the grassy knoll. 476 00:26:35,969 --> 00:26:39,009 Diego and I have been trying to talk to Dad about what exactly this means. 477 00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:41,177 -So far, we've got nothing. -Not nothing. 478 00:26:41,474 --> 00:26:43,274 -He's planning to kill Kennedy. -[Five] Maybe. 479 00:26:43,351 --> 00:26:46,351 But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. 480 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:49,228 Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent. 481 00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:52,186 But if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right. 482 00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:54,237 Yeah, but how, if we don't know what's broken? 483 00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:55,451 [Diego] Come on. Do the math. 484 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:58,740 We know Dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. 485 00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:01,745 We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. 486 00:27:01,828 --> 00:27:03,618 So I think we all know what we have to do. 487 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,673 -Find Dad. -[Diego] Kill Dad. 488 00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:12,545 None of us are supposed to be here, right? 489 00:27:12,922 --> 00:27:14,342 I mean, what if it's us? 490 00:27:14,716 --> 00:27:17,336 Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline? 491 00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:26,521 -Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald. -And you're working for Jack Ruby. 492 00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:29,613 Allison has been very involved in local politics. 493 00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:32,529 -Okay, you started a cult. -Thank you! 494 00:27:32,609 --> 00:27:35,069 -I'm... I'm just a... a nanny on a farm. -[growls, hisses] 495 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:36,913 I don't have anything to do with all of that. 496 00:27:36,988 --> 00:27:38,738 Well, maybe you do, we just don't know it yet. 497 00:27:38,823 --> 00:27:39,993 [Diego whistles sharply] 498 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:41,530 Listen to yourselves. 499 00:27:41,618 --> 00:27:43,698 Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. 500 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:44,907 That can't be a coincidence. 501 00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:47,326 Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, 502 00:27:47,415 --> 00:27:49,415 Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is... 503 00:27:50,126 --> 00:27:53,336 doing something weird and pervy but probably related. 504 00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:54,711 See, clearly, 505 00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:57,758 we were all sent back here for one special reason: 506 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,890 saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy. 507 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:02,760 [overlapping arguments] 508 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:04,814 [arguments continue] 509 00:28:04,891 --> 00:28:07,981 -[Diego] This is bigger than all of us. -[Five] Guys, you all die. 510 00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:11,154 I was there. I saw it. 511 00:28:12,148 --> 00:28:13,778 And I wanna forget it, but I can't. 512 00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:19,738 I saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it... 513 00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,702 in a war that never happened until we brought it here. 514 00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:25,945 And Hazel gave his life to save us, 515 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:28,667 so you may need to shut up and just listen to me. 516 00:28:29,999 --> 00:28:33,499 I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected. 517 00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,379 I don't know if there's a reason for everything. 518 00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:39,013 But Dad will. 519 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,845 We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead. 520 00:28:44,222 --> 00:28:46,222 Okay, I'm out. [sighing] 521 00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:47,807 Did you even hear me, Luther? 522 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,022 Yeah. Yeah, I did. 523 00:28:49,102 --> 00:28:53,112 I heard a 58-year-old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything. 524 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:55,070 Well, you can count me out. 525 00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:57,529 It's time we all grew the hell up. 526 00:28:57,610 --> 00:28:58,700 -[Vanya] Luther! -Come back. 527 00:28:58,778 --> 00:29:00,738 -[Klaus] Where you going? -[Luther] Save it, Diego. 528 00:29:04,367 --> 00:29:05,487 [Luther sighs] 529 00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,794 No one leaves until we figure this out. 530 00:29:10,665 --> 00:29:12,035 [Five grunting] 531 00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:13,746 Jeez... 532 00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:15,751 [exhales sharply] 533 00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:18,257 When did the monkey learn how to fight dirty? 534 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:19,972 [rock clatters] 535 00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:23,799 Son of a bitch. 536 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:43,624 You know, I could really go for some tacos right now. Allison? 537 00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:45,578 -Tacos? -Shouldn't we wait? 538 00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:46,528 You know those guys. 539 00:29:46,618 --> 00:29:49,618 I mean, it could take forever for them to bro it out. 540 00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:50,874 Vanya, tacos? 541 00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:54,665 Is there any way that tacos are gonna cause the end of the world? 542 00:29:54,751 --> 00:29:58,301 [scoffs] I mean, there's only one way to find out, right? [snaps fingers] 543 00:29:58,379 --> 00:29:59,759 -[Allison] Sure is. -[Klaus] Let's go! 544 00:29:59,839 --> 00:30:00,919 [giggles] 545 00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:05,683 I've missed you all... 546 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,260 so much. 547 00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:11,728 [sighs] 548 00:30:14,103 --> 00:30:16,733 -What's going on with you, big boy? -Ugh, leave me alone, Diego. 549 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:20,185 Huh? So, what, you're just gonna sucker punch Five and haul ass, huh? 550 00:30:20,276 --> 00:30:23,396 Look, maybe trying to stop doomsday is exactly what starts it. 551 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,448 -Did you ever think of that? -Oh, so we do nothing? 552 00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:27,277 Since when are you a quitter? 553 00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:31,367 Since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance. 554 00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:37,088 So this is about you never living up to the old man's expectations bullshit, huh? 555 00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:41,168 [scoffs] Maybe. I don't know, I mean, we're all crazy where Dad's concerned. 556 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,336 Oh, I'm not. 557 00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:44,840 He's an asshole. I'm awesome. That's very simple. 558 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,336 Have to understand that, okay? 559 00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:48,642 Okay. 560 00:30:49,472 --> 00:30:52,232 So why can't you leave JFK alone, hmm? 561 00:30:53,893 --> 00:30:54,853 I'm a hero. 562 00:30:55,436 --> 00:30:57,016 -Heroes stop crime. -[Luther] No, no, no. 563 00:30:57,105 --> 00:30:59,765 No, Dad told you you're a hero. 564 00:31:00,191 --> 00:31:01,441 Right? He told all of us. 565 00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:03,744 But what if he lied? 566 00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:07,033 What if we're just a bunch of freaks who have no business 567 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:10,535 -changing the world for everyone else? -No, everyone changes the world, Luther. 568 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:11,914 Everyone. 569 00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,874 And it's scary, but that's kinda the deal. 570 00:31:15,331 --> 00:31:18,591 You know, you are so goddamn big, 571 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,550 sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are. 572 00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:25,841 It's all gonna work out. 573 00:31:27,343 --> 00:31:29,973 -We're on the right path. -Oh, yeah? How do you know? 574 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,516 There's a long, black car that's been following us since we left Elliott's. 575 00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:36,016 Six o'clock. 576 00:32:06,215 --> 00:32:07,875 [Diego] "To my pursuers: I... 577 00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:11,184 -Reginald Hargreeves..." -What? 578 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,390 "...request the pleasure of your company for a light supper 579 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:18,354 on the 20th of November, 1963, half past seven o'clock, 580 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:20,606 1624 Magnolia Street." 581 00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:24,361 A "light" supper? 582 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:27,242 [Andrea Litkei & Ervin Litkei's "Hey Da Da" plays on radio] 583 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,240 ♪ Hey Da Da, hey Da Da... ♪ 584 00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:30,992 [Allison growls, chuckles] 585 00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:32,739 The nerve of that man. 586 00:32:32,825 --> 00:32:35,035 I mean, one thing goes wrong, and he's on a warpath. 587 00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:37,709 I mean, doesn't know who I am? 588 00:32:37,997 --> 00:32:40,537 No, no. No, Ray, you know exactly who I am. 589 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,165 -You just can't handle it. -Pew, pew. 590 00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:43,711 -[Allison] I'm protecting him. -Pew, pew. 591 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,505 -[soft slap] -[Klaus] Ow. From what? 592 00:32:45,588 --> 00:32:47,128 The end of the world, for one. 593 00:32:47,548 --> 00:32:50,218 Is the world really gonna end in six days? 594 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:55,063 Well, it did last time, and we did everything Five could think of to stop it. 595 00:32:55,139 --> 00:32:58,809 Hey, wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot? 596 00:32:58,893 --> 00:32:59,983 -Wouldn't that be weird? -What? 597 00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:01,191 -[Allison] Eww. -[Klaus] Oh! 598 00:33:01,270 --> 00:33:02,400 "Oh, eww! Eww!" 599 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,070 Please, Miss "Luther was my lover." 600 00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:06,939 -[kissing sounds] -We have never even kissed. 601 00:33:07,026 --> 00:33:11,026 Yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other 602 00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:14,284 all through puberty and breakfasts and all that. 603 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:17,003 Aren't we all brothers and sisters, or...? 604 00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,748 -[Klaus snorts] -Well... technically, it-- 605 00:33:19,831 --> 00:33:23,461 "Technically"? If you have to word... use the word "technically," 606 00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:24,923 you're already in trouble. 607 00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:27,836 -[giggling] -Okay, can... can we focus? 608 00:33:28,214 --> 00:33:31,594 I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, 609 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:33,966 we could at least try to save my marriage. 610 00:33:34,053 --> 00:33:35,053 No! 611 00:33:35,722 --> 00:33:37,142 No, because that's like... 612 00:33:38,141 --> 00:33:41,851 that's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg. 613 00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:45,440 I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one? 614 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,187 In secret love with some farm Frau. 615 00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:50,276 -Her name's Sissy. -Which is an improvement 616 00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:52,111 on her previous love interest, 617 00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:54,066 -the serial killer. -What? 618 00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:56,237 -Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch... -[whispers] Later. 619 00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:59,252 ...for a soldier I haven't technically met yet, 620 00:33:59,328 --> 00:34:01,458 and Luther is in love with his sister. 621 00:34:01,539 --> 00:34:04,539 Okay, again, we are not biological. 622 00:34:04,625 --> 00:34:07,995 Face it, the healthiest long-term relationship in this family 623 00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:10,879 was when Five was banging that mannequin. 624 00:34:11,632 --> 00:34:15,342 The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love... 625 00:34:17,430 --> 00:34:19,680 is how to screw it up. 626 00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:22,726 -[man] You're listening to KBOX, Dallas. -[Allison and Vanya] Cheers. 627 00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:25,150 -['60s music continues on radio] -How do you guys deal with this? 628 00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:26,189 What? 629 00:34:26,939 --> 00:34:30,489 I mean, all of it. The time travel, seeing the dead, the end of the world. 630 00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:32,488 [Klaus] Well, I get really high. 631 00:34:32,570 --> 00:34:34,320 Allison... Allison... 632 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:36,373 [whispers] ...lies to herself. 633 00:34:37,283 --> 00:34:41,503 And you suppress all your emotions deep, deep down 634 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:44,249 until you... you blow shit up. 635 00:34:44,332 --> 00:34:46,922 Yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore. 636 00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:49,415 Well, you've got six days, missy. 637 00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:52,506 What the hell are we supposed to do with six days? 638 00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:53,587 [Klaus] Party? 639 00:34:53,674 --> 00:34:54,804 [scoffs] I don't know. 640 00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:57,303 I'm gonna tell Sissy that I love her. 641 00:34:58,679 --> 00:34:59,639 [sharp exhale] 642 00:34:59,722 --> 00:35:01,562 I don't want any secrets. 643 00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:02,561 Yeah. 644 00:35:03,184 --> 00:35:04,274 [Allison] Yeah. 645 00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:05,442 Yeah, yeah, you're right. 646 00:35:05,853 --> 00:35:08,653 Yes, 'cause, you know, if... if it's all gonna go tits-up, 647 00:35:09,023 --> 00:35:11,693 the least I could do is be honest with my husband. 648 00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:14,776 Oh... does that mean I have to face my cult? 649 00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:16,986 I just hate group breakups. 650 00:35:17,073 --> 00:35:18,953 It's why I stopped dating twins. 651 00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,164 This family's amazing. 652 00:35:21,536 --> 00:35:22,656 [Klaus cackles] 653 00:35:22,745 --> 00:35:24,745 -Yeah, sure. -Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves. 654 00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:26,211 [Klaus] Come here, Vanya. 655 00:35:26,290 --> 00:35:27,500 Come on. 656 00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:28,875 Get over here. 657 00:35:29,335 --> 00:35:31,295 -[Klaus] I love you guys. -[Allison laughs] 658 00:35:31,379 --> 00:35:32,419 [Klaus groans] 659 00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:34,085 [gasps] Oh! You guys! 660 00:35:34,173 --> 00:35:35,383 I love this song! 661 00:35:35,842 --> 00:35:38,472 [Sam Cooke's "Twistin' the Night Away" plays] 662 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:41,845 ♪ Let me tell you about a place ♪ 663 00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:44,481 ♪ Somewhere up a New York way ♪ 664 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:49,193 ♪ Where the people are so gay And they're twistin' the night away ♪ 665 00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:53,069 ♪ They're twistin', twistin' ♪ 666 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,611 ♪ Everybody's feeling great ♪ 667 00:35:56,112 --> 00:35:58,362 ♪ They're twistin', twistin' ♪ 668 00:35:58,447 --> 00:36:00,907 ♪ They're twistin' the night ♪ 669 00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:02,872 -♪ Let's twist a while! ♪ -♪ Lean up ♪ 670 00:36:04,912 --> 00:36:06,212 ♪ Lean back ♪ 671 00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:09,125 ♪ Now twist ♪ 672 00:36:10,793 --> 00:36:12,003 ♪ Now lean back ♪ 673 00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:15,341 ♪ Watusi! ♪ 674 00:36:17,049 --> 00:36:18,049 ♪ Now fly ♪ 675 00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,101 ♪ Now twist ♪ 676 00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:26,227 ♪ They're twistin' the night away ♪ 677 00:36:26,309 --> 00:36:29,229 ♪ Twistin', they're twistin' the night ♪ 678 00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:30,812 ♪ One more time ♪ 679 00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:31,897 ♪ Lean up ♪ 680 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:34,527 ♪ Lean back ♪ 681 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:37,397 ♪ Lean up ♪ 682 00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:40,573 ♪ Lean back ♪ 683 00:36:40,656 --> 00:36:41,816 [song fades out] 684 00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:43,948 -[Allison laughs] -[Allison and Vanya sighing] 685 00:36:44,035 --> 00:36:46,655 [suspenseful instrumental music plays] 686 00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:02,255 [birds twittering] 687 00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:12,935 [buzzing] 688 00:37:21,072 --> 00:37:22,572 [twigs crunching] 689 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:39,045 [metallic clink, whirring] 690 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,742 [train rumbling along tracks] 691 00:38:07,326 --> 00:38:09,536 [train horn blows] 692 00:38:17,712 --> 00:38:19,842 [The Interrupters' "Bad Guy" plays] 693 00:38:21,424 --> 00:38:23,384 ♪ Whoo ♪ [echoing] 694 00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:26,845 ♪ Hey ♪ [echoing] 695 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,850 ♪ Whoo ♪ [echoing] 696 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:36,856 ♪ Hey... ♪ [echoing] 697 00:38:42,903 --> 00:38:44,703 What's your game, crazy lady? 698 00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:46,740 Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me. 699 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:48,914 -Oh, I remember. -Well, come on, big talker. 700 00:38:48,993 --> 00:38:50,493 -Let's get this done. -All right. 701 00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:53,330 -[grunts] -[Lila chuckles] 702 00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:54,794 ♪ ...So criminal ♪ 703 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:58,753 ♪ Bruises on both my knees for you ♪ 704 00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:01,416 ♪ Don't say thank you or please ♪ 705 00:39:01,505 --> 00:39:05,335 ♪ I do what I want when I'm wanting to ♪ 706 00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:08,346 ♪ My soul, so cynical ♪ 707 00:39:08,429 --> 00:39:11,639 ♪ So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy ♪ 708 00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:15,194 ♪ Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy ♪ 709 00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:18,398 ♪ I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type ♪ 710 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:22,531 ♪ Make your girlfriend mad type Might seduce your dad type ♪ 711 00:39:22,818 --> 00:39:25,568 ♪ I'm the bad guy ♪ 712 00:39:26,572 --> 00:39:27,532 ♪ Duh ♪ 713 00:39:27,948 --> 00:39:29,158 [Lila] I'm waiting. 714 00:39:32,828 --> 00:39:35,918 -♪ I'm the bad guy ♪ -[Lila laughs] 715 00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:37,460 Fed up yet, Five? 716 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,420 ♪ So you're a tough guy Like it really rough guy ♪ 717 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:48,007 ♪ Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy ♪ 718 00:39:48,427 --> 00:39:51,347 ♪ I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type ♪ 719 00:39:51,430 --> 00:39:55,100 ♪ Make your girlfriend mad type Might seduce your dad type ♪ 720 00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:58,191 -♪ I'm the bad guy ♪ -[Lila grunting] 721 00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:00,726 -[Lila cries out] -[song fading] 722 00:40:01,690 --> 00:40:03,400 [wheezes] You're better than I thought. 723 00:40:03,484 --> 00:40:05,244 And you are entirely average. 724 00:40:05,319 --> 00:40:06,319 [soft choking] 725 00:40:07,154 --> 00:40:08,414 You can come out now. 726 00:40:13,744 --> 00:40:14,704 Well done. 727 00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:17,333 You figured it out. 728 00:40:17,415 --> 00:40:18,915 Well, it wasn't very hard. 729 00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:22,040 She fights like every one of you Commission drones. 730 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:23,590 [Handler] Hmm. 731 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,672 No matter, here we are. 732 00:40:26,048 --> 00:40:27,128 Together again. 733 00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:29,510 I've gotta ask... 734 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,599 did you miss me, you little shit? 735 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,140 [Lila coughs, laughs] 736 00:40:38,394 --> 00:40:40,864 [soft, indistinct chatter on TV nearby] 737 00:40:51,031 --> 00:40:51,871 [Vanya] Sissy. 738 00:40:52,491 --> 00:40:53,371 [softly] Vanya. 739 00:40:53,617 --> 00:40:55,487 Don't sneak up on me like that. 740 00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:56,995 Where have you been? 741 00:40:57,079 --> 00:40:58,539 Uh, family reunion. 742 00:40:58,914 --> 00:41:00,754 Are you... drunk? 743 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,086 Does it matter? 744 00:41:03,752 --> 00:41:05,092 [scoffing chuckle] 745 00:41:06,839 --> 00:41:09,679 [Vanya] What matters is I have feelings... okay? 746 00:41:11,010 --> 00:41:12,850 And I... I feel things for you. 747 00:41:12,928 --> 00:41:15,808 -Vanya, now's not a good time. -No. Now's the only time. 748 00:41:15,890 --> 00:41:17,770 'Cause how much time do we have left? 749 00:41:17,933 --> 00:41:20,813 We could have years, we could have days, but we only have one life. 750 00:41:20,895 --> 00:41:22,605 And we gotta go with our hearts. 751 00:41:22,688 --> 00:41:24,058 And my heart wants to go with you. 752 00:41:24,565 --> 00:41:25,475 [Carl] Sissy! 753 00:41:26,358 --> 00:41:28,068 What happened to that beer, girl? 754 00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:28,992 Oh, shit. 755 00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:32,359 You caught me naked as a jaybird. [chuckles] 756 00:41:33,532 --> 00:41:35,582 I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. 757 00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,579 -[bottle clinks] -That's all right. 758 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,620 You're part of the family. 759 00:41:44,043 --> 00:41:45,503 Don't you dawdle, now. 760 00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:52,640 [somber piano melody plays] 761 00:41:52,718 --> 00:41:53,638 [door shuts] 762 00:41:54,637 --> 00:41:55,717 You slept with him? 763 00:41:56,263 --> 00:41:57,393 He's still my husband. 764 00:41:57,848 --> 00:41:59,178 Who you don't love anymore. 765 00:41:59,266 --> 00:42:00,726 Just be a little patient 766 00:42:00,809 --> 00:42:03,059 -while I figure things-- -What is there to figure out? 767 00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:05,194 I see you. I see you miserable. 768 00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:07,862 -Who gets to be happy all the time? -We can! 769 00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:11,532 -We were just talking about leaving. -Honey, that was just morning talk, 770 00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:14,072 lies we tell each other to get through the damn day. 771 00:42:14,156 --> 00:42:15,946 We don't get to live our fantasies. 772 00:42:17,243 --> 00:42:18,333 [Sissy sighs] 773 00:42:21,455 --> 00:42:22,615 You know, Vanya... 774 00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,381 [voice trembles] ...maybe when you can remember 775 00:42:25,459 --> 00:42:26,749 what your real life was like, 776 00:42:26,835 --> 00:42:29,505 you'll feel less inclined to tell people how to live theirs. 777 00:42:29,588 --> 00:42:32,508 You know nothing of the pressures I'm under. 778 00:42:33,592 --> 00:42:35,642 I know we're running out of time for you to be brave. 779 00:42:36,011 --> 00:42:37,051 What does that mean? 780 00:42:38,180 --> 00:42:39,220 Six days. 781 00:42:40,057 --> 00:42:41,227 We've got six days. 782 00:42:41,308 --> 00:42:44,138 -Six days until what? -I can't explain, okay? 783 00:42:44,311 --> 00:42:46,901 -Just, we need to go now, please. -[Sissy whispers] Vanya. 784 00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:49,571 -[Vanya] Please, come. Please-- -Vanya. Vanya. Vanya! 785 00:42:49,692 --> 00:42:51,822 I can't. 786 00:42:58,867 --> 00:43:01,497 [My Kullsvik's "Hello (Swedish Cover)" plays] 787 00:43:04,206 --> 00:43:05,116 [Sissy] Vanya. 788 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,543 -[panting] Vanya, wait! -[door opens] 789 00:43:07,918 --> 00:43:09,418 -[door slams shut] -[Sissy sighs] 790 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,880 [bugs chirring] 791 00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:25,193 [My Kullsvik sings in Swedish] 792 00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:55,795 [screams] 793 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,390 [followers murmuring] 794 00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:43,810 ["Hello (Swedish Cover)" continues] 795 00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,143 [overlapping chatter] 796 00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,647 Daddy's home. 797 00:44:58,028 --> 00:44:58,898 Ray? 798 00:44:59,613 --> 00:45:00,613 Sit your ass down. 799 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:01,778 Sit down. 800 00:45:02,324 --> 00:45:04,624 Now, I... I've been doing a lot of thinking and... 801 00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:06,451 and I've decided... 802 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,420 [Allison exhales sharply] 803 00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:12,418 ...I'm gonna tell you everything. 804 00:45:16,171 --> 00:45:18,341 ["Hello (Swedish Cover)" continues] 805 00:45:25,764 --> 00:45:27,064 [song ends] 806 00:45:35,566 --> 00:45:38,486 [rock violin music playing] 66074

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