All language subtitles for Seth meyers 2020 07 27 sen kamala harris web h264 trump_track3_eng

>> Announcer: TONIGHT ON "LATE
NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS."

SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS.
HEAD COACH OF THE SEATTLE

SEAHAWKS, PETE CARROLL
AN ALL NEW "CLOSER LOOK.

FEATURING THE 8G BAND WITH
FRED ARMISEN

AND NOW SETH MEYERS.
>> Seth: WELCOME TO "LATE NIGHT"

EVERYONE
I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD

WEEKEND, AND I REALLY HOPE THAT
WAS THE WEEKEND.

THERE IS JUST NO WAY TO KNOW
LET'S GET TO THE NEWS.

PRESIDENT TRUMP ANNOUNCED
YESTERDAY HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO

THROW OUT THE CEREMONIAL FIRST
PITCH AT A NEW YORK YANKEES GAME

NEXT MONTH BECAUSE OF HIS,
QUOTE, "STRONG FOCUS ON THE

CHINA VIRUS, INCLUDING SCHEDULED
MEETINGS ON VACCINES, OUR

ECONOMY AND MUCH ELSE.
HE THEN RAN THE TWEET BY HIS

PROOFREADER, BRETT FAVRE
"LOOKS GOOD!

LET'S HIT THE BACK NINE.
PRESIDENT TRUMP MOCKED JOE BIDEN

ON TWITTER YESTERDAY AFTER THE
FORMER VICE PRESIDENT MISTAKENLY

REFERRED TO ARIZONA AS A CITY,
WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S TWO

CITIES
EVERYTHING ELSE IS REST STOPS.

THAT JOKE WAS WRITTEN BY
ARIZONA'S OWN ALEX BAYS.

PRESIDENT TRUMP TOURED AN
INNOVATION CENTER IN

NORTH CAROLINA TODAY
SAID EMPLOYEES, "SIR, WE HAVE SO

MUCH MORE TO SHOW YOU THAN THE
DOOR."

"THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
IT OPENS LIKE MA ‐‐ I AM NOT

TOUCHING ANYTHING.
NO BUTTON, NO HANDLE

IT KNOWS I'M HERE.
AND IN AN INTERVIEW YESTERDAY,

HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI
CRITICIZED PRESIDENT TRUMP'S

HANDLING OF THE CORONAVIRUS
PANDEMIC AND CALLED HIM MR

MAKE MATTERS WORSE
SO I GUESS I HAVE TO COME UP

WITH A NEW NICKNAME FOR MY
PENIS.

WHAT
THE KIDS ARE HERE?

THEY REALLY ‐‐ THEY REALLY
SHOULDN'T BE WITHIN EARSHOT FOR

THE MONOLOGUE.
IT'S A LATE NIGHT SHOW, SO

THAT'S RIGHT, MR. MAKE MATTERS
WORSE.

THAT IS A TERRIBLE NICKNAME.
SOUNDS LIKE THE NAME OF A

TAYLOR SWIFT SONG THAT WASN'T
GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE THE ALBUM.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CALL A
TAYLOR SWIFT SONG THAT ISN'T

GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE THE ALBUM?
PROBABLY AN EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT

SONG
WASHINGTON'S NFL TEAM ANNOUNCED

LAST WEEK THEY WILL BE CALLED
THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM

UNTIL A PERMANENT NAME IS
CHOSEN

THEY ALSO INTRODUCED THEIR NEW
MASCOT ‐‐ MASCOT

THAT'S RIGHT
WASHINGTON'S NFL TEAM WILL NOW

BE CALLED THE WASHINGTON
FOOTBALL TEAM, AND I WOULD MAKE

FUN OF THEIR LACK OF ORIGINALITY
BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT REALLY

ONE TO JUDGE
NORTH KOREAN OFFICIALS HAVE

REPORTEDLY PUT A CITY ON
LOCKDOWN AFTER THE FIRST

POSSIBLE CORONAVIRUS CASE IN THE
COUNTRY.

WHAT A SHAME FOR RESIDENTS WHO
CAN NO LONGER ENJOY THE TYPICAL

FREEDOMS OF LIVING IN
NORTH KOREA.

DURING AN INTERVIEW LAST WEEK,
PRESIDENT TRUMP REMINISCED ABOUT

HIS LIFE BEFORE BECOMING
PRESIDENT AND BRAGGED THAT HE

WAS, QUOTE, "IN SO MANY RAP
SONGS, LIKE 79 OR SOMETHING,"

ADDING, "AT LEAST, I ASSUME
'JUICY' WAS ABOUT ME."

"OF COURSE, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT
I NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

ATE SARDINES FOR DINNER.
AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, NOW YOU

KNOW."
FOX SPORTS ANNOUNCED LAST WEEK

THAT IT WILL ADD A VIRTUAL CROWD
TO BASEBALL GAMES AND WILL

INCLUDE ANIMATED FANS.
THAT'S RIGHT

IT WILL FEATURE EVERY TYPE OF
MLB FAN, INCLUDING BORED MAN,

BORED WOMAN, GUY WHO MISSES
EVERY PLAY BECAUSE HE'S ON HIS

PHONE, KID WHO'S ONLY GOING TO
CATCH A BALL IF AN ADULT FEELS

BAD AND GIVES HER THE ONE THEY
JUST CAUGHT, AND, OF COURSE, MAN

CLEARLY CHEATING ON HIS WIFE
TODAY WAS BAGPIPE APPRECIATION

DAY, AND I HATE TO BREAK IT TO
YOU, PAL, BUT I THINK THEY ARE

CLAPPING BECAUSE IT'S OVER
ANYWAY, APPRECIATE YOU

A COUPLE IN MINNESOTA WERE
KICKED OUT OF A WALMART OVER THE

WEEKEND FOR WEARING A FACEMASK
WITH NAZI SYMBOLS.

MAN, WHERE DO YOU GO WHEN YOU
GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART?

THAT'S LIKE AUDITIONING FOR A
PORNO AND NOT GETTING THE PART

AND FINALLY, CHEEZ‐ITS HAS
ANNOUNCED A NEW PARTNERSHIP WITH

A WINERY TO OFFER A COMBINED BOX
OF WINE AND CHEEZ‐ITS.

NOW ALL YOU NEED TO FIND IS
SOMEONE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU

HONEY, YOU CAN LET THE KIDS BACK
IN

THE MONOLOGUE IS OVER.
I WOULD SAY IT WAS FINE.

IT WAS A FINE ONE.
WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

TONIGHT.
I WILL BE TALKING TO SENATOR

KAMALA HARRIS, PLUS THE HEAD

COACH OF THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS,
PETE CARROLL, WILL BE HERE
BUT FIRST, "A CLOSER LOOK.

>> Seth: HELLO, AND WELCOME BACK
TO THE CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS.

IT'S MONDAY, WHICH MEANS MY HAIR
HAS HAD ANOTHER WEEKEND TO GROW,

AND WHILE I AM AIMING FOR THE
STEFF, JAMES SPADER'S ICONIC

HAIRCUT FROM "PRETTY IN PINK," I
MIGHT BE BACKING INTO

JAMES VAN DER BEEK'S 'DO FROM
"DAWSON'S CREEK.

NOW, I'VE NEVER SEEN "DAWSON'S
CREEK.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS A TV
SHOW

I JUST ASSUMED IT WAS A MEME
THAT BEST EXEMPLIFIES HOW I FEEL

ALL THE TIME
BUT MY WIFE IS A "CREEK" FREAK

WHO IS CURRENTLY REWATCHING IT
ON HER PHONE EVERY NIGHT IN BED,

AND I HAVE ONE BIG OBSERVATION
BASED ON MY INTRODUCTION TO THE

SHOW
THE OTHER CHARACTERS SAY

"DAWSON" A LOT
LIKE EVEN WHEN IT'S A TWO PERSON

SCENE, THEY START EVERY SENTENCE
WITH "DAWSON," AND, LOOK, JOEY,

JEN, I AM NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO
LIVE YOUR LIFE, BUT HE KNOWS

YOU'RE TALKING TO HIM.
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE IN THE

ROOM
ALSO JEN, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU

USED TO LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY.
LET IT GO.

DID YOU WATCH "DAWSON'S CREEK,"
SEA CAPTAIN?

>> I'M TEAM PACEY.
>> Seth: OF COURSE YOU ARE

NOW WHERE WERE WE?
OH, RIGHT, THE REAL WORLD.

AS THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC
CONTINUES TO SPIRAL OUT OF

CONTROL, A MORALLY AND
INTELLECTUALLY BANKRUPT

REPUBLICAN PARTY IS SQUABBLING
OVER CUTTING UNEMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS FOR OUT‐OF‐WORK
AMERICANS WHILE SENDING SECRET

POLICE TO AMERICAN CITIES AND
WHINING ABOUT CARTOONS

FOR MORE ON THIS, IT'S TIME FOR
"A CLOSER LOOK."

AND I AM GLAD IT'S TIME
BECAUSE ‐‐
♪ I DON'T WANNA WAIT ♪

♪
>> Seth: WE'RE LESS THAN

100 DAYS
AWAY FROM THE PRESIDENTIAL

ELECTION AND MORE AMERICANS NOW
SAY THAT THE COUNTRY IS ON THE

WRONG TRACK THAN AT ANY POINT IN
DONALD TRUMP'S PRESIDENCY.

WE HAVE GOT AN OUT‐OF‐CONTROL
PANDEMIC, THE WORST UNEMPLOYMENT

IN NEARLY A CENTURY, AN EPIDEMIC
OF RACIST POLICE BRUTALITY, AND

A LOOMING EVICTION CRISIS.
BUT DON'T WORRY.

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION WILL
PROTECT YOUR CARTOONS AND YOUR
TOYS

>> HE IS ALSO APPALLED BY CANCEL
CULTURE, AND CANCEL CULTURE

SPECIFICALLY AS IT PERTAINS TO
COPS

WE SAW A FEW WEEKS AGO THAT "PAW
PATROL," A CARTOON SHOW ABOUT

COPS WAS CANCELED, THE SHOW
"COPS" WAS CANCELED, "LIVE PD"

WAS CANCELED
LEGO HALTED THE SALES OF THEIR

LEGO CITY POLICE STATION
>> Seth: "PAW PATROL" AND LEGOS

MAKE SENSE, I GUESS, COMING FROM
A GUY WHO LOVES ROCKETS, TRUCKS

AND MR. POTATO DEAD.
ANYWAY, I GUESS WE KNOW NOW WHAT

TRUMP DOES WITH ALL THAT FREE
TIME ON HIS SCHEDULE

I DON'T LIKE THIS RECYCLING PUP,
ROCKY.

I THINK HE'S PART OF THE DEEP
STATE.

KAYLEIGH
KAYLEIGH, SEND THE SECRET POLICE

TO ADVENTURE BAY
AND GET ME SOME MORE LEGOS,

KAYLEIGH
I STUCK ONE UP MY NOSE TO STOP

THE CORONAVIRUS.
FAUCI, BY THE WAY, DID YOU GET

MY EMAIL ABOUT LEGOS UP THE NOSE
MAYBE STOPPING THE VIRUS

OKAY
I LOVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT

YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND, FAUCI.
YOU KNOW WHAT I CALL US?

TURNER AND FAUCH
I AM GOING TO MAKE T‐SHIRTS.

ANYWAY, THIS IS WHERE THE TRUMP
ADMINISTRATION AND THE

REPUBLICAN PARTY ARE AT, WHINING
ABOUT CARTOONS AND LEGOS WHILE

SENDING SECRET POLICE TO GAS
MOMS AND VETS AND ARGUING THAT

SLAVERY WAS A, QUOTE, "NECESSARY
EVIL."

A SITTING UNITED STATES SENATOR
SAID THAT.

AT LEAST I THINK TOM COTTON IS A
SENATOR.

HE LOOKS LIKE THE CONFEDERATE
SLENDER MAN.

SERIOUSLY, THESE GUYS JUST KEEP
COMING UP WITH WINNERS

I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT?
IS TRUMP GOING TO SAY SOMETHING

NICE ABOUT AN ALLEGED SEX
TRAFFICKER AND PREDATOR WHO WAS

ARRESTED BY THE FBI AT A
REMOTE ‐

OH, YEAH, YEAH
OH, RIGHT.

THEY REALLY THINK AMERICANS CARE
ABOUT "PAW PATROL" AND LEGOS

I GUESS THEY FIGURE IF YOU ARE
OUT OF WORK AND QUARANTINING AT

HOME TO AVOID THE DEADLY VIRUS
THEY FAILED TO STOP, YOU'LL NEED

SOMETHING TO KEEP YOU
ENTERTAINED.

PRESIDENT TRUMP IS WORKING HARD
TO MAKE SURE THAT OUT‐OF‐WORK

AMERICANS WHO LOST THEIR HEALTH
INSURANCE AND ARE FACING

EVICTION HAVE CARTOONS AND LEGOS
TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED.

AND IN LIEU OF THE
$600 UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFIT, WE

WILL BE SENDING EVERY AMERICAN
SOME PLAY‐DOH AND AN OUT‐OF‐WORK

TAMAGOTCHI
AND I'M SORRY?

THE TAMAGOTCHI HAS DIED FROM THE
CORONAVIRUS.

THE CRAZIEST PART OF THIS THOUGH
IS THAT SHE'S WRONG.

NEITHER "PAW PATROL" NOR THE
LEGO CITY POLICE STATION HAVE

BEEN CANCELED.
IN FACT, "PAW PATROL" ACTUALLY

HAD TO TWEET A CLARIFICATION
SAYING, "NO NEED TO WORRY.

'PAW PATROL' IS NOT CANCELED."
AND THAT'S GREAT

BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY COULD ALSO
STAND TO BE DEFUNDED A LITTLE.

I MEAN, THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF
TACTICAL GEAR FOR A TOWN WHERE

THE WORST THING THAT EVER
HAPPENS IS A MISSING CHICKEN

SO THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION GOT
FACT‐CHECKED BY A CHILDREN'S

CARTOON.
AND AT THIS POINT, IT'S NOT LONG

BEFORE ARTHUR SHOWS UP TO A
PROTEST WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS

"[ BLEEP ]
TRUMP.

>> SETH, THAT REMINDS ME, WHAT'S
A SEA CAPTAIN'S FAVORITE ANIMAL?

>> Seth: OH, I DON'T KNOW, WHAT
IS A SEA CAPTAIN'S FAVORITE

ANIMAL
>> AN ARRRR‐DVARK!

>> Seth: SEA CAPTAIN
>> HA, HA, HA!

SORRY.
>> Seth: SO WHAT WAS I TALKING

ABOUT?
OH, RIGHT.

CHILDREN'S CARTOONS.
THE POINT IS THIS IS WHAT YOUR

GOVERNMENT WAS TALKING ABOUT AS
A FEDERAL MORATORIUM ON

EVICTIONS AND A
$600 UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFIT

KEEPING MILLIONS OF AMERICANS
AFLOAT BOTH EXPIRED.

AND RATHER THAN RUSHING WITH
EXTREME URGENCY TO EXTEND BOTH

PROGRAMS, OR, HEAVEN FORBID,
MAKE THEM PERMANENT, REPUBLICANS

CHOSE INSTEAD TO DAWDLE AS THEY
BICKERED OVER WAYS TO MAKE THE

UNEMPLOYMENT PROGRAM BOTH LESS
GENEROUS AND MORE COMPLICATED.

MITCH McCONNELL SAID A NEW
STIMULUS DEAL COULD TAKE A FEW

WEEKS.
WHY?

JUST EXTEND IT NOW
JOBLESS CLAIMS WENT UP FOR THE

FIRST TIME SINCE MARCH, FOUR
MILLION AMERICANS WHO DO HAVE

JOBS HAVE SEEN A PAY CUT,
12 MILLION ARE FACING EVICTION

AS THE MORATORIUM EXPIRES.
IN OKLAHOMA, MORE THAN 60% OF

UNEMPLOYMENT APPLICATIONS
HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN PROCESSED,

WITH HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE SLEEPING
IN THEIR CARS OR CAMPING OUTSIDE

OKLAHOMA'S UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES.
AND IN OHIO, THE CITY OF

COLUMBUS HAS TURNED PART OF ITS
CONVENTION CENTER INTO AN

EVICTIONS COURT.
WELL, YOU GOT TO GIVE IT TO

TRUMP, HE FINALLY FILLED AN
ARENA.

OH, AND ON TOP OF THAT, NURSES
ARE WEARING GOWNS WITHOUT

OPENINGS FOR HANDS AND SECRET
POLICE ARE MARCHING THROUGH THE

STREETS OF PORTLAND TEAR GASSING

VETS AND MOMS WHILE PROTESTERS
PLAY THE IMPERIAL MARCH FROM
"STAR WARS."

♪
>> Seth: THAT'S A PRETTY GREAT

TROLL.
OF COURSE, IF GEORGE LUCAS WAS

INVOLVED, HE WOULD PROBABLY ADD
IN SOME UNNECESSARY CGI AND

GRATUITOUS POD RACE.
SO WHAT WAS THE PRESIDENT DOING

WHILE THE NATION WAS CRUMBLING
YOU GUESSED IT

HE WAS PLAYING GOLF AND SMILING
FOR PHOTOS WITH BRETT FAVRE.

CHEESEHEADS ALWAYS LOVED FAVRE,
SO IT MAKES SENSE THAT OL'

CHEESE BRAIN WOULD, TOO.
ALSO, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, MAN?

HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST CRAWLED
OUT OF A VAT AT ACE CHEMICALS.

THIS IS HOW A DOG SMILES WHEN
THEY HAVE THEIR HEAD OUT THE

WINDOW
THAT'S THE FACE YOU MAKE WHEN

YOU ARE TRYING TO HOLD IN A FART
AT A FUNERAL

NOT THAT I THINK TRUMP WOULD
BOTHER TRYING TO HOLD IT IN.

"WHOA, WHOO!
WELL, BOY, IF THAT DOESN'T WAKE

HIM UP, HE IS DEFINITELY DEAD.
ALTHOUGH IN FAIRNESS, IT'S

PROBABLY BETTER WHEN TRUMP IS
GOLFING BECAUSE THEN HE IS TOO

BUSY TO WHINE ABOUT CARTOONS AND
LEGOS AND STATUES.

THIS BOTTOM‐OF‐THE‐BARREL
CULTURE WAR BULL[ BLEEP ] IS THE

RESULT OF A POLITICAL MOVEMENT
THAT IS INTELLECTUALLY BARREN

AND MORALLY BANKRUPT
THEY HAVE NOTHING TO RUN ON, NO

POLICIES TO CHAMPION, NO
ACHIEVEMENTS TO TOUT

SO THEY THINK THEY CAN GET
VOTERS TO CARE ABOUT STATUES AND

CARTOONS
IT'S ALL THEY HAVE LEFT, AND

THAT'S BECAUSE AMERICANS KNOW
TRUMP HAS FAILED

IT'S CLEAR IN POLL AFTER POLL.
ALL YOU HAVE DO IS LOOK AT ONE

OF THE DOZENS OF OTHER LARGE
DEVELOPED COUNTRIES THAT HAVE

SUCCESSFULLY SUPPRESSED THEIR
OUTBREAKS WHILE KEEPING THEIR

ECONOMIES LARGELY INTACT
SOUTH KOREA HAD THEIR FIRST CASE

ON THE SAME DAY AS OURS AND
RAPIDLY CONTAINED THEIR

OUTBREAK
THE ENTIRETY OF THE EU WITH A

MUCH LARGER POPULATION HAS AN
AVERAGE OF JUST 81 DEATHS PER

DAY WHILE WE ARE AT 1,000.
AMERICANS CAN'T EVEN GO TO

CANADA OR EUROPE, WHICH MEANS
FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS CENTURY,

NO ONE WILL TAKE A PICTURE
TRYING TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEY

ARE HOLDING UP THE LEANING TOWER
OF PISA.

AMERICANS CAN PLAINLY SEE THAT
THINGS ARE NOT JUST BAD, BUT

GETTING WORSE WHILE THE REST OF
THE WORLD WATCHES US WITH A

COMBINATION OF PITY AND HORROR
AND PROBABLY A LITTLE LESS

SURPRISE THAN WE THINK
"IT IS SO SAD WHAT IS HAPPENING

TO YOUR COUNTRY.
"I KNOW, IT'S SHOCKING, RIGHT?

"YEAH, SHOCKING?
I WOULD NOT USE THIS WORD.

IT IS ‐‐ HOW DO YOU SAY?
TO BE EXPECTED."

WE'VE SEEN OUR OUTBREAK SPIRAL
OUT OF CONTROL IN A WAY THAT'S

EVEN WORSE THAN THE INITIAL PEAK
IN APRIL

THE WHITE HOUSE NATIONAL
SECURITY ADVISOR JUST TESTED

POSITIVE
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HAS AN

OUTBREAK JUST DAYS AFTER
STARTING ITS SEASON.

WE ARE NEARING A NATIONAL PEAK
IN HOSPITALIZATIONS.

WE RECORDED 1,000 NEW DEATHS A
DAY FOR FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS

AND LABS ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE
ONCE AGAIN FACING LONG DELAYS IN

TESTING THANKS TO SUPPLY
SHORTAGES.

OR, AS ONE PUBLIC HEALTH
OFFICIAL PUT IT, "IT'S LIKE

'GROUNDHOG DAY.'
I FEEL LIKE I've LIVED THIS DAY

FOUR OR FIVE MONTHS AGO.
EXCEPT IN "GROUNDHOG DAY,"

BILL MURRAY LEARNED TO PLAY THE
PIANO AND BECAME A BETTER

PERSON
ALL I'VE LEARNED IS THAT DOING A

LATE NIGHT SHOW IN YOUR ATTIC IS
KIND OF LIKE MAKING A VIDEO

WILL, EXCEPT I AM NOT OF SOUND
MIND

>> SURE YOU ARE.
>> Seth: THANK YOU, TALKING YARD

SALE PAINTING.
QUARANTINE HAS LASTED SO LONG,

I'VE COME FULL CIRCLE AND
STARTED WATCHING "TIGER KING"

AGAIN.
GOI MEANA GIVE JOE EXOTIC ONE

MORE CHANCE TO CONVINCE ME I AM
WRONG.

IF YOU ASK ME WHAT DAY IT IS
RIGHT NOW, I WOULD SAY

JANUAUGUSTOBER 67TH.
THE ONLY CONCRETE DAY I CAN

PICTURE IS THE FIRST DAY OF
SCHOOL, AND I'M TERRIFIED IT'S

NOT GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE
INSTEAD OF MAKING A PLAN ON HOW

TO GET KIDS AND TEACHERS BACK
SAFELY, WE PRIORITIZED OPENING A

CRUNCH FITNESS IN GAINESVILLE.
I HOPE YOU FELLOWS GOT SWOLE

ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR THE FACT
THAT MY KIDS CAN'T COUNT PAST

SEVEN.
SERIOUSLY, WE SHOULD HAVE HAD

TESTING FIGURED OUT MONTHS AGO
THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF

FLATTENING THE CURVE, TO BUY
TIME FOR OUR POLICYMAKERS TO GET

A SYSTEM OF TESTING, TRACING AND
ISOLATION IN PLACE SO WE COULD

CONTAIN FUTURE OUTBREAKS
REMEMBER THAT?

WHEN WE ALL KEPT SAYING "FLATTEN
THE CURVE"

BACK WHEN DR. FAUCI WAS THE ONE
BRIEFING THE NATION AT PRESS

CONFERENCES INSTEAD OF CHUCKING
A BALL LIKE YOUR GRANDPA USED

TO
"I'LL GO GET IT, GRANDPA."

"LOOK BOTH WAYS WHEN YOU CROSS
THE STREET."

AND YET, THE PRESIDENT AND THE
GOP HAVE SHOWN ZERO INTEREST IN

FIXING THE PROBLEM
IN FACT, TRUMP IS SO DEEPLY

INVESTED IN HIS OWN POLITICAL
FORTUNES AND SO PROFOUNDLY

DETACHED FROM REALITY, THAT HE
STILL THINKS IT WOULD BE BETTER

IF WE STOP TESTING ALTOGETHER

AND JUST LET THE VIRUS RIP
THROUGH THE COUNTRY SICKENING
PEOPLE UNDETECTED.

>> I PERSONALLY THINK IT'S
OVERRATED, BUT I AM TOTALLY

WILLING TO KEEP DOING IT
I AM OKAY WITH IT IF THEY WANT

TO DO IT, BUT AGAIN, IT MAKES US
LOOK BAD

BUT THINK OF IT.
IF INSTEAD OF 50 MILLION WE DID

25 MILLION, WE DON'T HAVE THE
NUMBER OF CASES.

THE CASES WOULD BE DOWN.
HERE WOULD BE THE NORMALLY

HEADLINE
NOT FOR ME IT WOULDN'T BE.

BUT FOR ANYBODY ELSE, THEY'D SAY
"CASES CUT IN HALF."

>> Seth: FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME,
THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.

THE HEADLINE WOULDN'T BE "CASES
CUT IN HALF.

AT BEST, IT WOULD BE SOMETHING
LIKE, "CASES CUT IN HALF BUT

EVERYONE MYSTERIOUSLY COUGHING
FOR SOME REASON.

SECOND, IT DOESN'T JUST MAKE YOU
LOOK BAD

IT IS BAD.
THE CASES ARE THERE MAKING

PEOPLE SICK IN THE REAL WORLD
WHETHER YOU TEST FOR THEM OR

NOT.
JUST BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO GO TO

THE DENTIST DOESN'T MEAN YOU
DON'T HAVE CAVITIES.

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LOOK AT
YOUR FACE TO KNOW YOU JUST TOOK

A SWIG OF ICE WATER WITH A MOUTH
FULL OF ROTTEN TEETH

AND YOU CAN JUST SENSE THEIR
DESPERATION AS THEY GRASP WILDLY

FOR ARGUMENTS EVEN THEY MUST
KNOW ARE ABSURD.

TAKE FOR EXAMPLE WHITE HOUSE
SENIOR POLICY ADVISOR AND

EDGAR ALLAN POE VILLAIN
STEPHEN MILLER

[ THUNDER
[ WITCH CACKLING ]

>> ARRGH, BE GONE, FOUL SEA
SERPENT.

TO THE LAST, I GRAPPLE WITH
THEE

FROM HELL'S HEART, I STAB AT
THEE

FOR HEAT'S SAKE, I SPIT MY LAST
BREATH AT THEE

>> Seth: SEA CAPTAIN, WHAT DID I
SAY ABOUT AHAB REFERENCES?

>> AH, WELL, YOU SAID DON'T BE A
MOBY DICK.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SETH
>> Seth: I AM WAITING FOR

EVERYBODY TO FINISH LAUGHING
>> HA‐HA, OKAY

>> Seth: AS A RAGING PANDEMIC
SPIRALED OUT OF CONTROL, MILLER

WENT ON HUMAN MONEY CLIP
TUCKER CARLSON'S SHOW AND

COMPARED THE PEOPLE PULLING DOWN
CONFEDERATE STATUES TO
CONFEDERATES

>> THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY FOR A
LONG TIME, HISTORICALLY, HAS

BEEN THE PARTY OF SECESSION.
WHAT YOU ARE SEEING TODAY IS THE

DEMOCRATIC PARTY RETURNING TO
ITS ROOTS.

THESE ARE MAYORS AND GOVERNORS
THAT ARE SAYING THE FEDERAL LAW,

THE U. S. CONSTITUTION, DOESN'T
APPLY WITHIN THE CONFINES OF OUR

CITY
AND OUR CITIZENS WHO WILL BE

HELD AT THE MERCY OF THE MOB
AND THE ADMINISTRATION OF

JUSTICE, THE FEDERAL COURTHOUSE,
WILL BE ALLOWED TO FALL UNDER

SIEGE.
AND THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING

RIGHT NOW IN PORTLAND.
>> Seth: SO I GUESS THAT MEANS

STEPHEN MILLER WANTS TO BUILD
STATUES TO DEMOCRATIC

POLITICIANS?
COOL, WHERE DO YOU WANT THE

JOE BIDEN STATUE
HOW ABOUT ON THE ACELA OR MAYBE

ON THE DEBATE STAGE WITH TRUMP
IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T MAKE MUCH

OF A DIFFERENCE.
SINCE I'M PRETTY SURE BIDEN'S

APPROACH TO THE DEBATES IS KNOWN
IN ORATORICAL CIRCLES AS THE

STATUE STRATEGY.
JUST STAND AS STILL AS POSSIBLE

AND LET TRUMP SAY A BUNCH OF
CRAZY THINGS AND MELT DOWN ON

HIS OWN.
"THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY YOUR

LEGOS, YOUR 'PAW PATROL,' YOUR
BEANIE BABIES, YOUR 'YO GABBA

GABBA!
BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET THAT

HAPPEN, FOLKS.
YOU CAN TRUST YOUR VERY NORMAL

PRESIDENT.
SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE CALLING

DEMOCRATS SECESSIONISTS?
YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES PROTECTING

THE MONUMENTS OF ACTUAL
SECESSIONISTS.

DO THEY NOT TEACH HISTORY AT
YOUR GRAVE ROBBING SCHOOL?

THE CONFEDERATES YOU'RE
DEFENDING WERE RACIST SLAVERS

AND TRADERS.
YOU SHOULD KNOW ALL THAT

SINCE YOU WERE ALIVE FOR IT, I'M
PRETTY SURE WHEN LEE SURRENDERED

TO GRANT AT APPOMATTOX, MILLER
WAS THERE POPPING OUT OF HIS

COFFIN
THE GOP IS TOTALLY AND

COMPLETELY BANKRUPT, BOTH
MORALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY, AND

WITH LESS THAN 100 DAYS BEFORE
THE ELECTION, THEY'RE DESPERATE.

150,000 AMERICANS HAVE DIED,
JOBLESS CLAIMS ARE UP AGAIN, AN

UNEMPLOYMENT LIFELINE AND
EVICTION MORATORIUM HAVE EXPIRED

AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT
CARTOONS

NOT ONLY IS THE COUNTRY IN DIRE
STRAITS, BUT ALL OF THIS ‐

>> MAKES US LOOK BAD
>> Seth: THIS HAS BEEN "A CLOSER

LOOK."
>> DOZEN

♪
>> Seth: SO MANY NEW YORKERS ARE

TURNING TO CITY HARVEST FOR
HELPING FEEDING THEIR FAMILIES,

AND THEY NEED YOUR SUPPORT NOW
MORE THAN EVER

THERE IS A WEBSITE BELOW TO
DONATE

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS.

♪
>> Announcer: FOR MORE OF SETH'S

"CLOSER LOOKS," BE SURE TO
SUBSCRIBE TO "LATE NIGHT" ON

YOUTUB

>> Seth: WE ARE VERY EXCITED OUR

GOOD FRIEND FRED ARMISEN IS BACK
LEADING THE 8G BAND THIS WEEK.

I KNOW IT'S LATE AT NIGHT.
BUT IF YOU COULD APPLAUD VERY

LOUDLY, IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH TO
HIM.

THANK YOU.
OUR FIRST GUEST IS A

UNITED STATES SENATOR FROM

CALIFORNIA
HERE IS MY CONVERSATION WITH
SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS.

TO
THE SHOW

HOW ARE YOU?
>> IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK WITH

YOU, SETH.
I, YOU KNOW, ALL THINGS

CONSIDERED, I'M WELL
YOU KNOW, WHEN ONE IN FIVE

MOTHERS IN AMERICA IS DESCRIBING
HER CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF

12 AS BEING HUNGRY, I'M GREAT.
>> Seth: I FEEL THE SAME WAY

WHEN YOU PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE
I WILL SAY IT'S A LITTLE

STRANGE.
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU HAVE

BEEN ON THE SHOW SINCE WE HAVE
LEFT THE STUDIO.

ONCE I TALKED TO YOU FROM MY
ATTIC AND NOW I JOIN YOU FROM MY

IN‐LAWS' HOUSE
AND I WANT TO SAY IT SEEMS AS

THOUGH YOUR COLLEAGUES IN THE
CAPITOL ARE GETTING BETTER ABOUT

WEARING MASKS.
>> YES

>> Seth: BUT DO YOU STILL TRY TO
AVOID THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY?
NOW THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD REASON

TO AVOID THEM?
>> I WILL TELL YOU THAT I AM

STILL VERY VIGILANT ABOUT
WEARING ‐‐ I AM NOW ACTUALLY, I

STARTED TO SOMETIMES WEAR DOUBLE
MASKS.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> Seth: MM‐HM

>> LIKE, THE MEDICAL ONE, YOU
KNOW, THE BLUE ONE, AND THEN,

YOU KNOW, WHATEVER THE CLOTH ONE
IS OVER.

YEAH, THEY ARE WEARING ‐‐ SINCE
THE PRESIDENT STARTED WEARING A

MASK, I'VE NOTICED MANY MORE
PEOPLE ARE WEARING MASKS

SO, THAT'S INTERESTING, ISN'T
IT

>> Seth: WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S
MORE SAD THAN INTERESTING

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, PRESIDENT ‐‐
NO MATTER WHO THE PRESIDENT IS,

IT'S A REMINDER THAT THEY CAN
SET A GOOD EXAMPLE AND IT'S A

SHAME IT TOOK THIS LONG.
BUT I THINK WHAT EVERYBODY WAS

SAYING IS WHEN THE PERSON WHO IS
IN CHARGE DOES THE RIGHT THING,

IT'S AMAZING HOW MANY PEOPLE
WILL FOLLOW THAT LEAD.

>> RIGHT
AND YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT.

I MEAN, THAT IS THE POWER OF
LEADERSHIP, RIGHT?

AND IT IS ‐‐ IT IS INCUMBENT ON
A PERSON WHO HAS BEEN ELECTED A

LEADER TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND
THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF

LEADERSHIP
AND, OF COURSE, DONALD TRUMP

DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE
RESPONSIBILITIES OF LEADERSHIP

A REAL LEADER UNDERSTANDS THAT
THEIR STRENGTH IS IN HOW THEY

LIFT PEOPLE UP AND NOT HOW THEY
BEAT PEOPLE DOWN, AND THAT IS

SOMETHING DONALD TRUMP HAS NEVER
SEEMED TO UNDERSTAND SINCE HE

TOOK OFFICE.
SO THAT'S WHY I'M VOTING FOR JOE

BIDEN.
>> Seth: SOMEONE WHO I WOULD

IMAGINE YOU BELIEVED DID
UNDERSTAND LEADERSHIP, WAS YOUR

COLLEAGUE JOHN LEWIS
I KNOW HE IS LYING IN STATE NOW

AT THE CAPITOL
CAN YOU SPEAK ABOUT THE EXAMPLE

HE SET AND YOUR HISTORY WITH
HIM?

>> YEAH.
I, UM ‐‐ I REMEMBER HAVING MANY

CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM, BUT ONE
IN PARTICULAR IN HIS OFFICE,

WHICH WAS LIKE A CIVIL RIGHTS
MUSEUM BECAUSE HE HAS JUST LIVED

A FULL LIFE OF SERVICE, RIGHT?
AND FROM THE TIME THAT HE WAS A

STUDENT AND A YOUNG MAN THROUGH
JUST, YOU KNOW, DAYS AGO

AND HE WAS AN AMERICAN HERO TO
BE SURE, BUT ONE OF THE KINDEST

PEOPLE THAT YOU COULD MEET
I MEAN, SETH, YOU KNOW, THE TYPE

OF PERSON WHO UNDERSTANDS,
AGAIN, THAT THERE IS STRENGTH,

THEIR POWER ‐‐ BECAUSE HE WAS A
VERY POWERFUL MAN.

BUT IT WASN'T THAT HE DEMANDED
OR CARRIED POWER

HE JUST WAS POWER.
HE HAD POWERFUL WORDS.

HE HAD A POWER THAT WAS BORN OUT
OF A LOVE OF OUR COUNTRY, A

KINDNESS, AND THAT GAVE HIM
POWER, AND I AM GOING TO MISS

HIM SO
AND, YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS

THAT I DON'T THINK HAS COME OUT
AS MUCH ABOUT HIM, BUT I WANT TO

MAKE A POINT OF MENTIONING IT,
HE WAS VERY ENCOURAGING OF

WOMEN, AND WOMEN IN THE
PROFESSIONS AND WOMEN IN

LEADERSHIP
AND SO YOU CAN, YOU KNOW, THE

STORIES OF DIANE NASH OR EVEN
THE STORIES THAT HE WOULD TELL

ABOUT THE OTHER WOMEN OF THE
MOVEMENT THAT INSPIRED HIM,

INCLUDING ROSA PARKS, WAS ONE OF
THE FIRST PEOPLE IN THE MOVEMENT

WHO INSPIRED HIM
AND I'M GOING TO MISS HIM

GREATLY.
AND I GUESS IN A SHORT WAY OF

SAYING IT, IT'S THIS
JOHN LEWIS WAS ABOUT NOT ONLY

WALKING ACROSS THE
EDMUND PETTUS BRIDGE FOR THE

SAKE OF VOTING RIGHTS AND THE
FIGHT FOR EQUALITY IN AMERICA.

HE WAS ABOUT BUILDING BRIDGES.
HE WASN'T ABOUT BUILDING WALLS

HE WAS ABOUT BUILDING BRIDGES.
HE UNDERSTOOD THE CONNECTION

BETWEEN PEOPLE, AND HE WAS A
CONNECTER.

HE CONNECTED THE FIGHT FROM THE
CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT IN THE

'50s AND '60s TO WHAT HE DID
STANDING IN THE FRONT OF THE

LINE TALKING ABOUT WHAT WE NEED
TO DO AROUND IMMIGRANTS' RIGHTS,

THAT IT'S A CIVIL RIGHTS ISSUE
HE WAS A HUGE ADVOCATE AND

FIGHTER FOR LBGTQ RIGHTS AND
MARRIAGE EQUALITY.

HE TRANSCENDED ALL THESE ERAS
AND PERIODS OF TIME, BUT ALWAYS

CONSISTENTLY FIGHTING FOR
EQUALITY AND DIGNITY FOR ALL

PEOPLE
>> Seth: I KNOW THAT YOU ARE

NOW, AS WE SPEAK OF DIGNITY FOR
ALL PEOPLE, OFTENTIMES THAT IS

THE CASE OF HAVING THE MONEY TO
SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY, PUT FOOD ON

THE TABLE.
YOU WERE DEBATING THE $600 THAT

IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE
>> RIGHT

>> Seth: CAN YOU SPEAK TO WHY
THAT NUMBER IS BOTH ECONOMICALLY

AND MORALLY SOUND, AND ALSO CAN
YOU SPEAK TO THE ARGUMENT THAT,

BY GIVING AMERICANS MONEY, WE
ARE DISINCENTIVIZING THEM TO

RETURN TO A WORK FORCE, EVEN
THOUGH THOSE JOBS, IN MOST

CASES, AREN'T THERE?
>> SO WE HAVE HAD OVER

40 MILLION PEOPLE AT ONE TIME OR
ANOTHER IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS

LOSE THEIR JOBS.
CURRENTLY, WE HAVE A NUMBER OF

ABOUT 17 MILLION PEOPLE ARE
CURRENTLY UNEMPLOYED

INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, 50% OF
AFRICAN AMERICAN WORKERS ARE NOW

UNEMPLOYED SINCE THE PANDEMIC.
IN JUNE, SETH, ONE‐THIRD OF

AMERICANS WERE NOT ABLE TO PAY
THEIR HOUSING COSTS, RENT OR

MORTGAGE
ONE IN FIVE MOTHERS, LIKE I SAID

EARLIER, IS DESCRIBING HER
CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 12 AS

BEING HUNGRY
PEOPLE ARE HURTING IN AMERICA,

HURTING DEEPLY
AND SO WHAT I AM PROPOSING IS

THAT DURING THE COURSE OF THIS
PANDEMIC, UNTIL WE HAVE SEEN OUR

WAY OUT OF IT, THERE SHOULD BE A
MORATORIUM ON EVICTIONS, A

MORATORIUM ON FORECLOSURES, THAT
THERE SHOULD BE A MORATORIUM,

WHICH MEANS BASICALLY A PAUSE ON
TURNING OFF PEOPLE'S UTILITIES,

INCLUDING THEIR WATER SERVICE.
BECAUSE BY THE WAY, PEOPLE CAN'T

PAY THEIR WATER BILLS WHEN THEY
ARE NOT WORKING, AND YOU NEED TO

WASH YOUR HANDS TO PROTECT YOUR
FAMILY FROM THE VIRUS.

SO THAT'S WHAT MY
R. E. L. I. E. F. ACT CALLS FOR, JUST

TO GIVE PEOPLE RELIEF AND LET
THEM JUST ‐‐ TO THE EXTENT THAT

WE CAN, SURVIVE THROUGH THE
COURSE OF THIS PANDEMIC SO THAT

AT THE END OF IT THEY CAN GET
BACK ON THEIR FEET

WE DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO FALL
FURTHER AND FURTHER THROUGH THE

CRACKS
BECAUSE AT SOME POINT WE NEED TO

RECOVER.
SO LET'S SEE PEOPLE AND CARRY

THEM THROUGH THE DAYS AND MONTHS
TO GET ON THE OTHER SIDE AND

WITH DIGNITY
>> Seth: I DO ‐‐ BECAUSE

OBVIOUSLY THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS
TOPIC WE ARE TALKING ABOUT

BUT ON A LIGHTER SIDE, I DO WANT
TO COMPLIMENT ‐‐ THE

R.E.L.I.E.F. ACT IS AN ACRONYM
I WANT TO MAKE SURE I GET THIS

RIGHT.
RENT EMERGENCIES LEAVE IMPACTS

ON EVICTED FAMILIES ACT.
WHO COMES UP WITH THE ACRONYMS,

SENATOR?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

>> THERE IS LIKE A WHOLE GROUP
OF PEOPLE WHO WORK ON THOSE

THINGS
IT'S REALLY KIND OF PART OF THE

FUNNY ART OF THE UNITED STATES
CONGRESS

LIKE, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO SPEND
A LOT OF TIME COMING UP WITH

THESE ACRONYMS, AND THEY ARE
OFTEN VERY GOOD, INCLUDING ‐

>> Seth: I GUESS THE GOAL OF
THESE ACRONYMS IS YOU WANT TO

MAKE IT SO THAT, YOU KNOW ‐‐ AND
THIS IS EITHER PARTY WOULD DO

THIS
YOU TRY TO NAME IT SOMETHING

THAT YOU WOULD SHAME YOUR
COLLEAGUES INTO VOTING AGAINST,

SOMETHING LIKE THE R. E. L. I. E. F.
ACT OR THE C. A. R. E. S. ACT OR ‐‐

I MEAN, IT SEEMS TO ME LIKE YOU
SHOULD TRY TO MAKE ‐

>> THE H. E. R. O. E. S. ACT.
>> Seth: THE K. I. T. T. E. N. ACT.

JUST ANYTHING.
>> RIGHT

NO, RIGHT.
LIKE, I DON'T KNOW THAT WE HAVE

YET HAD THE SANTA CLAUS ACT, BUT
I THINK YOU ARE RAISING A FAIR

POINT.
>> Seth: YEAH.

>> I THINK ‐‐ BUT IT IS ALSO
ABOUT SPEAKING TO THE VALUES

THAT ARE AT PLAY IN THE
LEGISLATION AND CERTAINLY WITH

THE R. E. L. I. E. F. ACT, IT IS ‐‐
THAT IS A VERY IMPORTANT VALUE

>> Seth: YES, THAT IS A FAIR
ONE.

THE ACRONYM DOES LINE UP WITH
THE CORE PRINCIPLES BEHIND THE

ACT.
>> YEAH.

YEAH
>> Seth: WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE

FROM SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS
♪

>> Seth: HERE IS MORE OF MY
CONVERSATION WITH SENATOR

KAMALA HARRIS.
>> Seth: YOU AND CORY BOOKER ‐‐

I KNOW YOU HAVE TRIED TO
SPEARHEAD POLICE REFORM.

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT HAS
STALLED IN THE SENATE.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OPTIMISM MOVING
FORWARD THAT THERE IS GOING TO

BE SOMETHING THAT CAN GET
THROUGH THE SENATE AND MAKE IT

TO THE PRESIDENT'S DESK?
>> I AM HOPEFUL, BUT, YOU KNOW,

EVERYONE HAS TO PARTICIPATE.
SO THE WORK THAT CORY BOOKER AND

I DID WAS AROUND THE JUSTICE IN
POLICING ACT AND IN MOST OF OUR

COLLEAGUES ON THE DEMOCRATIC
SIDE IN THE SENATE SUPPORT IT.

ON THE HOUSE SIDE, THERE WAS
BIPARTISAN SUPPORT FOR A SIMILAR

MEASURE WHICH HAS NOW BEEN NAMED
THE GEORGE FLOYD JUSTICE AND

POLICING ACT
AND BIPARTISAN SUPPORT, THE

CONGRESSIONAL BLACK CAUCUS WAS
THE LEADER ON IT, AND I AM

URGING MITCH McCONNELL, ALONG
WITH MANY OF US ‐‐ PUT IT NOW ON

THE FLOOR FOR A VOTE
BECAUSE IT'S JUST ‐‐

IT'S FAIR, IT'S REASONABLE, IT'S
PRACTICAL.

IT SAYS THAT WE SHOULD HAVE
THINGS LIKE A NATIONAL STANDARD

FOR EXCESSIVE USE OF FORCE
SO WHEN A POLICE OFFICER USES

EXCESSIVE FORCE, THE QUESTION WE
SHOULD ASK IS NOT "WAS THAT

REASONABLE," WHICH IS WHAT
CURRENTLY WE ASK, WE SHOULD

ASK ‐‐ BECAUSE YOU CAN REASON
AWAY ANYTHING.

WE SHOULD BE ASKING, "WAS THAT
NECESSARY?

WE ARE SAYING THAT THERE SHOULD
BE INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATIONS

BECAUSE THE PROSECUTOR WHO WORKS
WITH THAT POLICE DEPARTMENT

EVERY DAY WILL AT LEAST HAVE AN
APPEARANCE OF A CONFLICT OF

INTEREST, AND WE WANT TO BRING
INTEGRITY TO THE SYSTEM.

SO THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS
THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, AND,

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE ARE MARCHING IN
THE STREETS BY THE HUNDREDS OF

THOUSANDS IF NOT MILLIONS.
PEOPLE WHO SEEMINGLY HAVE

NOTHING IN COMMON ARE JOINING
TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW

SEEING IN VIVID DETAIL, BECAUSE
OF SMARTPHONES, WHAT

COMMUNITIES, AND IN PARTICULAR
THE BLACK COMMUNITY, HAS KNOWN

FOR GENERATIONS.
AND THERE NEEDS TO BE

ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONSEQUENCE
ON THIS ISSUE, AND WE DON'T NEED

TO STUDY IT.
WE'VE STUDIED IT FOR

GENERATIONS.
EMMETT TILL'S MOTHER WAS TRYING

TO HELP US FIGURE THIS OUT WHEN
SHE HAD THE COURAGE TO LEAVE

THAT OPEN CASKET TO SHOW THE
WORLD THE BRUTALITY THAT WE'RE

TALKING ABOUT.
WE DON'T NEED TO STUDY IT

ANYMORE.
WE NEED TO ACT

AND THAT'S WHAT OUR LEGISLATION
WOULD DO

AND SO I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO
ENCOURAGE MITCH McCONNELL TO PUT

IT ON THE FLOOR FOR A VOTE
>> Seth: HE SEEMS TO BE A PRETTY

EASILY CONVINCED GUY WHEN IT
COMES TO BRINGING SOMETHING TO A

VOTE
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

OLD MITCH JUST NEEDS A LITTLE
ENCOURAGEMENT.

>> ENCOURAGE HIM TO PUT THE
JOHN LEWIS VOTING RIGHTS ACT ON

THE FLOOR FOR A VOTE
SO WE CAN PUT TEETH BACK INTO

VOTING RIGHTS AND MAKE SURE THAT
THE ELECTIONS THAT WE HAVE

COMING UP ALLOW EVERYONE TO
PARTICIPATE EQUALLY.

>> Seth: THERE ‐‐ I WANT TO
FINISH WITH THIS

THERE IS A SHORT LIST.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU ARE AWARE OF

THIS
THERE IS A SHORT LIST FOR VP

AND IT'S LIKE A LIST OF NAMES OF
PEOPLE

AND SOME WOULD SAY THAT YOU
MIGHT BE ON THAT LIST.

SO DO YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A VERY
SAFE ANSWER THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE

PREPLANNED THAT YOU GIVE TO
PEOPLE WHEN THEY SAY, "WHAT

WOULD YOU ‐‐ WOULD YOU WANT TO
BE VICE PRESIDENT?

[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST MAKE IT SOUND ‐

>> LET ME READ MY ANSWER
>> Seth: THERE YOU GO.

WE'LL JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT.
>> NO, BUT LET ME ‐‐ NO, LET ME

SAY THIS
LET ME SAY THIS.

I AM HONORED TO BE A PART OF
THIS DISCUSSION, AND I SAY THIS

TO YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY
HEART AND SOUL

WE HAVE TO ELECT JOE BIDEN THE
NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

STATES
AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY

POWER REGARDLESS OF WHERE I AM
WE HAVE TO ELECT HIM

WE CANNOT ENDURE ANOTHER FOUR
YEARS OF DONALD TRUMP.

WE NEED A PRESIDENT WHO, AT THIS
MOMENT IN TIME, HAS COMPASSION,

WHO WAS EMPATHY, WHO HAS A SENSE
OF DIGNITY, SELF‐DIGNITY AND

LIFTING UP THE DIGNITY OF
OTHERS, SOMEBODY WHO FIGHTS FOR

WORKING FAMILIES
THAT'S WHO JOE BIDEN IS.

I KNOW JOE
THIS IS LITERALLY WHO HE IS.

AND WE NEED TO SAVE THE SOUL OF
OUR COUNTRY.

WE REALLY DO
WE NEED A PRESIDENT WHO CARES

ABOUT THE PEOPLE AND LOVES THE
PEOPLE

BUT, YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT
JOHN LEWIS

LET'S CONNECT THESE TWO THINGS
YOU KNOW, PART OF THE LEADERSHIP

IN THE PAST OF JOHN LEWIS IS HE
WAS MOTIVATED BY LOVE.

>> Seth: WELL, I THINK THAT IS A
NICE PLACE TO LEAVE IT

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING
TIME FOR US AGAIN, SENATOR

>> THANK YOU
GOOD TO BE HERE AGAIN.

>> Seth: HAVE A GREAT REST OF
YOUR WEEK.

>> TAKE CARE
>> Seth: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK

WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT.
♪

>> Seth: REGIS PHILBIN PASSED
AWAY THIS WEEKEND.

AS GREAT A TV HOST AS WE ARE
EVER LIKELY TO SEE

I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO MEET REGIS
A FEW TIMES, AND IT WAS A

DELIGHT HOW HE WAS EXACTLY THE
SAME IN PERSON AS HE WAS ON

TELEVISION
THE MOST AMAZING THING ABOUT

REGIS WASN'T HIS CONTAGIOUS
ENTHUSIASM, IT WAS HOW MANY

YEARS HE MAINTAINED THAT
CONTAGIOUS ENTHUSIASM.

WE SEND OUR CONDOLENCES TO HIS
WIFE, JOY, AND THE REST OF HIS

FAMILY
REGIS WILL BE MISSED

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
♪

>> Seth: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A
SUPER BOWL AND COLLEGE FOOTBALL

NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP‐WINNING
COACH.

HE SERVES AS THE HEAD COACH OF
THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS AND HIS

AUDIBLE ORIGINAL, "COMPETE TO
CREATE: AN APPROACH TO LIVING

AND LEADING AUTHENTICALLY," IS

AVAILABLE NOW.
HERE'S MY CONVERSATION WITH
PETE CARROLL

>> Seth: HOW ARE YOU DOING
TODAY,

COACH?
>> HEY

DOING ALL RIGHT.
GLAD TO BE WITH YOU.

>> Seth: SO I HAVE TO IMAGINE
THIS IS AN OFF SEASON LIKE NO

OTHER.
HOW IS VIRTUAL PREPARATION GOING

FOR YOU SO FAR
>> MAN, YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW

MUCH WE HAVE DUG IN, YOU KNOW.
EVERY DAY, DAY IN AND DAY OUT,

WITH THE PLAYERS
AND YOU'RE NOT JUST TRYING TO

PASS ALONG INFORMATION
YOU'RE TRYING TO KEEP THEM FIRED

UP AND HAVING FUN, AND STAYING
ENGAGED AND ALL.

SO IT'S BEEN A REAL PROCESS.
WE'VE TAKEN AN APPROACH, LET'S

MAKE IT AS FUN AS CAN BE AND TRY
TO CREATE WAYS TO, YOU KNOW,

KEEP THE INTEREST GOING.
AND WE REALLY HAD A GOOD RUN AT

IT
SO WE'RE PREPARED, AS WE'RE

GOING TO BE VIRTUAL HERE WHEN WE
COME TO CAMP IN A COUPLE OF

DAYS
AND SO, WE'RE PREPARED TO DO IT.

>> Seth: YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
SOMEONE WHO IS KNOWN FOR YOUR

OPTIMISM, KNOWN FOR YOUR ‐
>> NO, NO WAY.

NO WAY
>> Seth: YEAH.

WELL, I WOULD SAY THAT OPTIMISM
IS PROBABLY A PRETTY HELPFUL

TOOL RIGHT NOW
YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY, WE'VE SEEN,

YOU KNOW, THE NBA IS TRYING TO
MAKE A GO, THE NHL, MAJOR LEAGUE

BASEBALL STARTED THIS WEEK
WE'VE ALREADY SEEN, YOU KNOW, IN

FLORIDA THEY'RE HAVING SOME
ISSUES

>> RIGHT
>> Seth: ARE YOU OPTIMISTIC THAT

THE SEASON IS GOING TO COME OFF?
>> WELL, YEAH.

I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER WAY OF
LOOKING AT IT THAN LIKE THAT,

SETH
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE ONLY WAY WE

GO HERE.
BUT I DO THINK AT A TIME LIKE

THIS, AND THROUGH ALL OF THESE
TIMES, THAT IT IS A TOOL THAT

HELPS YOU.
YOU KNOW

IT'S A MENTALITY
IT'S LOOKING FORWARD TO

SOMETHING GOOD IS JUST ABOUT TO
HAPPEN, AND THAT KIND OF THOUGHT

PROCESS DOES HELP YOU.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO ‐‐ YOU

KNOW, EVERYBODY IS MISSING OUT
ON THEIR NORMAL WAYS, AND WE

HAVE TO OVERCOME THAT KIND OF,
YOU KNOW, THOSE CHALLENGES

AND WE HAVE TO DO IT WITH
ATTITUDE

IT'S REALLY ‐‐ IT'S ABOUT YOUR
ATTITUDE SO ‐‐ FOR EVERYBODY

IT'S ABOUT OUR ATTITUDE.
AND WE ARE GOING TO TRY TO

REALLY CHAMPION THE CAUSE, BE
FORWARD THINKING AND POSITIVE,

SUPPORT ONE ANOTHER AND MAKE THE
VERY BEST OF THIS.

AND WE ARE GOING TO KICK BUTT.
THAT'S REALLY THE ONLY WAY I

KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT IT.
>> Seth: YOU HAVE THIS AUDIBLE

ORIGINAL CALLED "COMPETE TO
CREATE."

THIS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ‐‐ OR I
SHOULD SAY IT'S BASED ON YOUR

PHILOSOPHY, AND THIS IS NOT JUST
A WAY FOR ATHLETES TO SORT OF

MAXIMIZE THEIR POTENTIAL, THIS
IS FOR EVERYONE.

HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS
IDEA, AND WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO

GET IT OUT THERE FOR EVERYONE TO
LISTEN TO?

>> WELL, IT'S REALLY JUST A ‐‐
IT'S A ILLUSTRATION OF, YOU

KNOW, OF OUR PHILOSOPHY AND HOW
WE'VE APPROACHED, YOU KNOW, OUR

WORK FOR YEARS
AND THIS IS NOT NEW FOR US

BUT I FOUND THAT THERE WAS ‐‐
THERE WAS A LOT OF INTEREST.

AND THERE HAVE BEEN PEOPLE THAT
HAVE ALWAYS BEEN KIND OF

CLAMORING FOR WHY ARE YOU DOING
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

WE DON'T DO THINGS EXACTLY THE
SAME AS EVERYBODY ELSE NOW

YOU KNOW, WE'RE A LITTLE
DIFFERENT.

AND IN THAT, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A
WAY ABOUT US AND THERE'S A

CULTURE ABOUT US THAT A LOT OF
PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN

SO WE'VE CREATED A LITTLE
BUSINESS AND WE HAVE BEEN

HELPING SOME CORPORATIONS AND
SOME PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, AS WE DO

OUR FOOTBALL, AND THIS IS ON THE
SIDE

BUT WE ALSO THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO HAND IT

TO MORE PEOPLE IF THEY WANT TO
SO THE AUDIBLE ORIGINAL IS

SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, THAT WE'VE
CREATED TO REALLY SHARE OUR

IDEAS AND THOUGHTS WITH PEOPLE
AROUND THE WORLD IF THEY'RE

INTERESTED
SO IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT SPORTS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ABOUT A LOT OF
OTHER THINGS

SO IT'S ‐‐ SHOULD BE FUN FOR
PEOPLE

>> Seth: THIS SEASON IS ALSO NOT
JUST GOING TO BE ABOUT SPORTS.

WE ARE GOING TO BE DEALING WITH
COVID‐19, OBVIOUSLY, AND WE'RE

ALSO GOING TO HAVE SOCIAL
JUSTICE ISSUES WHICH HAVE BEEN A

PART OF, YOU KNOW, THE LEAGUE'S
HISTORY THESE LAST FEW YEARS,

BUT WILL DEFINITELY BE AT THE
FOREFRONT.

HOW DO YOU THINK EVERYONE IS
GOING TO DEAL WITH THAT?

DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO BE A
SUM POSITIVE FOR THE LEAGUE

MOVING FORWARD, THE FACT THAT IT
SEEMS LIKE AT THE COMMISSIONER

LEVEL THERE IS AN EMBRACING OF
THE FACT THAT THESE ARE

IMPORTANT THINGS WE ARE TALKING
ABOUT?

>> YEAH.
THIS ‐‐ WE'RE TALKING LIFE NOW

WE ARE IN THE MIDST OF A WHOLE
CYCLE THAT WE ARE EITHER GOING

TO DO WELL WITH IT OR NOT.
WE HAVE DO WELL WITH IT.

SO WE HAVE TO STAY ON TOPIC,
WE ‐‐ WHETHER IT'S DEALING WITH

THE MENTALITY OF THE PANDEMIC
AND THE COVID THING.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S ABOUT MINDSET,
AND WE ARE GOING TO BE WORKING

HARD AT THAT
BUT REALLY WHAT'S COMING AT US

HERE IS WAY MORE IN TERMS OF
EQUALITY, IN TERMS OF INJUSTICE

THAT WE SEE EVERYWHERE
YOU KNOW, WE HAVE JUST DIVED

RIGHT INTO IT WITH OUR PLAYERS,
AS WE ALWAYS HAVE, BUT EVEN MORE

SO WITH A GREATER CONCERN AND A
GREATER FOCUS THAN EVER.

AND I THINK THAT'S A REALLY GOOD
THING FOR US AS WE HAVE TO MAKE

PROGRESS HERE.
SO WHAT WE'RE DOING, SETH, IS WE

ARE GOING TO JUST CONTINUE TO
KEEP IT ON THE FRONT OF OUR

MINDS AND KEEP TALKING AND KEEP
SHARING OUR IDEAS AND SHARING

OUR STORIES.
AND COMMUNICATING WITH EVERYBODY

AND MAKING SURE THAT WE DON'T
BACK AWAY OR LOSE SIGHT OF THE

FACT THAT WE HAVE A LOT TO DO
HERE, AND THERE IS A LOT OF WORK

TO DO, OUR PLAYERS ARE
EXTRAORDINARY.

THE MESSAGING THAT THEY CAN SEND
OUT, WHAT THEY STAND FOR, WHAT

THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH, HOW THEY
CAN TEACH.

THEY'RE A REMARKABLE GROUP, AND
WE NEED THEM TO MAKE SURE AND

STAY, YOU KNOW, VIGILANT AND ‐‐
BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT

ISN'T GOING AWAY
THIS IS A LIFETIME COMMITMENT, I

THINK, OF TURNING THINGS
AND WE ARE GOING TO DO IT BY

CARING FOR PEOPLE, AND CARING
FOR ONE ANOTHER, AND SHOWING HOW

IMPORTANT IT IS TO SEE AND HEAR
AND FEEL, YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY

AROUND US.
SO, WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE

CHALLENGE OF THAT.
IT'S GOING TO BE A REMARKABLE

SEASON
IT'S A REMARKABLE YEAR IN SO

MANY WAYS THAT WE NEED TO TAKE
THE CHALLENGE AND DO WELL WITH

IT
SO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT

>> Seth: YOU'RE SORT OF KNOWN
FOR A COMPASSIONATE LEADERSHIP

STYLE THAT IS MAYBE NOT A
STEREOTYPICAL STYLE THAT WE

THINK OF WHEN WE THINK OF
FOOTBALL COACHES

DO YOU FIND WHEN PLAYERS FIRST
COME INTO YOUR SYSTEM THAT

THEY'RE A LITTLE TAKEN ABACK BY
HAVING A COACH LIKE YOU, OR DO

THEY EMBRACE IT RIGHT AWAY
>> WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS A LITTLE

BIT OF ‐‐ SEEMINGLY A LITTLE BIT
OF ANTICIPATION OF LIKE, "WHAT

AM I GETTING INTO HERE
WHAT IS THIS?"

YOU KNOW, I'VE HEARD THIS AND
THAT ABOUT IT.

AND SO WE TRY TO SHOCK THE HECK
OUT OF THEM FROM THE MOMENT THAT

THEY GET TO US ABOUT THE WAY WE
LIKE TO INTERACT, THE WAY WE

LIKE TO BUILD OUR RELATIONSHIPS,
AND COUNT ON ONE ANOTHER

AND, YOU KNOW, THIS IS SUCH A
DIFFICULT CHALLENGE TO BRING ALL

OF THESE GUYS TOGETHER TO MAKE A
TEAM AND TO GO UP AGAINST THE

EXTRAORDINARY COMPETITION THAT
WE FACE, THAT IT TAKES EVERY

SINGLE ASPECT OF EVERYTHING WE
GOT TO BE GOOD

AND I THINK WHEN IT REALLY COMES
FROM YOUR HEART AND GUYS ARE

TUNED IN AND THEY'RE CONNECTED
AND THEY LEARN TO FEEL WHAT IT

IS TO BE A GREAT TEAMMATE FOR
ONE ANOTHER, THEN YOU CAN DO

SOME GREAT THINGS.
AND THAT'S THE CHALLENGE WE ARE

UP AGAINST EVERY YEAR.
AND IF WE'RE NOT HAVING FUN, I'M

SCREWING IT UP
YOU KNOW, SO ALWAYS REMEMBER

THAT WE'RE PLAYING FOOTBALL.
AND SO I WANT TO KEEP THAT IN

MIND AT ALL TIMES AND MAKE IT AS
GOOD AS WE CAN FOR OUR GUYS.

HOPEFULLY, YOU KNOW, WE'LL SHOCK
THEM A LITTLE BIT, YEAH.

BUT WE'RE GOING TO DO SOME GREAT
THINGS ALONG THE WAY, TOO.

>> Seth: YOU'VE MANAGED TO TAKE
FROM ‐‐ OBVIOUSLY, WE'RE, IN

NORMAL TIMES, A NEW YORK‐BASED
SHOW

NEW YORK USED TO BE HOME OF ONE
OF THE BEST SAFETIES IN THE NFL,

AND NOW I THINK HE'S A ‐‐ I
THINK HE'S ‐‐ IS IT OFFICIAL

NOW?
HAS HE PASSED HIS PHYSICAL

IS JAMAL ADAMS OFFICIALLY A
SEAHAWK?

>> WELL, HE DID.
HE HAS, AND HE'S FLYING TODAY.

SO I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
HIS PHYSICAL YET

BUT, YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF
GREAT THINGS THAT HAVE COME OUT

OF NEW YORK.
AND SO, HE'S KIND OF ‐‐ HE'S

KIND OF BEEN TRANSPLANTED FROM
DALLAS

BUT HE HAD HIS TIME THERE.
I'M REALLY APPRECIATIVE THAT

THEY SENT HIM UP
WE ARE THRILLED TO HAVE THIS

PLAYER COMING TO US.
HE'S GOT AN EXTRAORDINARY

ABILITY LEVEL, BUT HE'S GOT A
CHARACTER.

HE'S GOT A PERSONALITY
HE'S GOT JUICE ABOUT HIM THAT

CAN HELP OTHER GUYS PLAY WELL.
SO, YOU KNOW, I'M PRETTY FIRED

UP ABOUT THAT.
OUR TEAM IS, AS WELL

AND I'M HOPING HE WILL FIND A
REALLY GOOD PLACE FOR HIMSELF

HERE IN SEATTLE.
>> Seth: WELL, I CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW ‐‐ THE THINGS I REALIZE ARE
VERY IMPORTANT FOR MY RETURN TO

NORMALCY ARE THAT MY KIDS CAN GO
TO SCHOOL AND I CAN WATCH

FOOTBALL ON SUNDAY
I KNOW ONE IS MORE IMPORTANT

THAN THE OTHER
BUT RATIONALLY, IT WILL BE VERY

IMPORTANT FOR ME
SO I WISH YOU AND ENTIRE LEAGUE

THE BEST OF LUCK
AND IT'S NICE TO HAVE A COACH

THAT I KNOW PUTS THINGS LIKE
SAFETY FIRST, AND THANKS FOR

MAKING TIME FOR US
>> ALL RIGHT, I APPRECIATE IT.

THANKS, SETH
>> Seth: WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK

WITH MORE "LATE NIGHT.
♪

>> Seth: I WANT TO THANK MY
GUESTS SENATOR KAMALA HARRIS AND

PETE CARROLL
I WANT TO THANK FRED ARMISEN AND

THE 8G BAND.
STAYED TUNED FOR "LILLY SINGH.

STAY SAFE, WASH YOUR HANDS, WEAR
A MASK

WE LOVE YOU.
♪