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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,674
NARRATOR:
Previously on
Mike Tyson Mysteries...
3
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:07,966
Oh... (BLEEP)
4
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,506
Congratulations, Deezy,
5
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:19,448
you are now an official member
of the Mike Tyson
Mystery Team.
6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,116
(STAMMERING) I didn't
want to kill someone.
7
00:00:21,154 --> 00:00:22,794
We all had to kill someone
to join the team.
8
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,363
We're a special,
secret government strike team.
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00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:29,162
Also known as the Mike Tyson
Special Secret Government
Strike Team.
10
00:00:32,099 --> 00:00:35,369
(STAMMERING) I just...
Can't have killed someone.
11
00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:36,872
I took another person's life?
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00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:38,673
I can't live
with that burden!
(SCREAMS)
13
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:40,205
YUNG HEE: No!
MARQUESS: Oh my God!
14
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,510
(DEEZY GROANING)
15
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,812
DEEZY: (EXHALES)
What happened?
16
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,675
-Where am I?
-You're in the hospital.
17
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,583
-You tried to kill yourself.
-(PIGEON SCOFFS)
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00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,745
PIGEON: Kill himself?
19
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,753
He's holding a loaded gun,
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00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,845
and instead he jumped
out of the window
of a two-story house.
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00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,018
It was nothing
but attention seeking.
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00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,917
He's got a broken foot.
23
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:03,429
Of course, they'll keep him
overnight for "observation".
24
00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:08,433
And who pays for that?
John Q. Taxpayer, that's who.
25
00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:10,498
This is why I voted for Trump!
26
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:13,437
I'm a Trump man!
Always have been.
27
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Give 'em hell, Trump.
28
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(CHANTING) Drain that swamp!
29
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:21,350
Build that wall!
Lock her up!
30
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:24,121
So what is this secret
government strike team
you got me on?
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00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:27,051
What do we do?
Do you have to
keep killing people? I can't!
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00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,947
You can't make me. Oh, God!
33
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:30,889
Oh, God! Oh, God,
I killed someone!
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00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,364
Blood on my hands, Lord!
35
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-Dad.
-What?
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00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,457
-(DEEZY SOBBING)
-You have to tell him.
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Tell me what?
That I'm off the team?
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00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,630
No, I just got on this team.
I can kill.
39
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,426
Who do you want me to kill?
I can kill anyone.
40
00:01:41,468 --> 00:01:42,898
I'll kill that
old man to prove it.
41
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,796
-Prove my loyalty.
-Deezy, stop.
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00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:48,568
Michael, tell him!
I will not be party
to this any longer.
43
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,938
Okay, fine. Deezy, I have
a confession to make.
44
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:55,248
There's no Mike Tyson
Secret Government...
Uh... What'd I call it?
45
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,122
Secret Government Strike Team.
46
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,150
Yeah, there's
no such thing as that.
47
00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:00,716
-I made it up.
-What?
48
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,124
Yeah, here's the truth
of it, Deezy.
49
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:03,615
You're a real shitty agent.
50
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,417
And I wanted to fire you
for a long time.
51
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,159
But my problem is that
I'm non-confrontational.
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00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:12,626
That was my problem in boxing,
that's my problem in life.
53
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,996
So instead of just
telling you I would no longer
like you to be my agent,
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00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:18,466
-we decided...
-Michael.
55
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:21,105
I decided
to trick you into thinking,
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00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,441
that you are on a secret
government team
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00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,776
and so instead
of being my agent,
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00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:29,312
I would send you to like, um,
Pakistan and just maybe, um...
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00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,819
Never hear from you again.
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00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:32,350
But what about
that guy I shot and killed?
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00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:33,685
That dude that
looked just like me?
62
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,950
You mean Terry, our pool man?
63
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,589
Terry, come on in.
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00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,664
Hi, everyone. Hi, Deezy.
65
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,163
Wait, I shot you.
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00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:42,764
I was wearing
a bulletproof vest.
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00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,926
But, how do you look
exactly like me?
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00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,765
Is that some kind of a mask?
69
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,340
No. I really did have total
facial reconstructive surgery.
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00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,040
I've undergone over
a thousand skin grafts.
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00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,613
I'd do anything for the champ.
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00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,841
And in return he promised me
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00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:00,146
that I'd be made a member
of the Mike Tyson Secret
Government Strike Team.
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00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,480
I leave for Pakistan
first thing in the morning.
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00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,975
-Bon voyage, Terry.
-Good day, everyone.
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00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:10,124
He never got the chlorine
level right in the pool,
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00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:11,856
but I didn't have
the heart to let him go.
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00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,161
That's my problem.
79
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,563
Okay, team, time to fly.
80
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,455
That's my new catchphrase
when we're going somewhere.
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00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,228
"Time to fly."
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00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,127
Deezy, why don't you see about
copyrighting that (BLEEP).
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00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:25,468
So wait, what does
that mean, Mike?
Am I still your agent?
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00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:29,505
[MIKE'S THOUGHTS]
Say no, just say no.Say, "Deezy, you're
85
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,242
fired." Of course,
you're still my agent.
86
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,738
Mother... (BLEEP)
87
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,179
And can I still stay
at your house?
88
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,914
MIKE: No way, Jose.
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00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,749
My casa es su casa, Jose.
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00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,745
Oh, no, what is my problem?
91
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,593
Hmm... Does that
taste good, Pigeon?
92
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,155
Oh, does this bird seed
taste good?
93
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,664
-Is that your
question, Marquess?
-MARQUESS: Okay.
94
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:52,026
-Does this
bird seed taste good?
-Mmm-hmm.
95
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,365
No, it doesn't taste good,
you witless gadfly.
96
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:59,402
I want to eat what
you're eating, but I can't
because it gives me diarrhea.
97
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:01,939
This is the only thing
that doesn't give me diarrhea.
98
00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:04,275
My asshole is so raw,
99
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:08,551
it's just red and raw from
all the (BLEEP) damn diarrhea.
100
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,051
Okay, that... That's
not really breakfast talk.
101
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,694
Oh! Should we
talk about my piss?
102
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,290
How it's dark, almost orange.
103
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,363
Because I'm so dehydrated
104
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,931
on account of
how much diarrhea I have,
105
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,960
while I'm not eating
bird seed.
106
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:26,596
This delicious bird seed.
Go (BLEEP) yourself!
107
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:30,537
Why do you engage with him?
108
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,740
Learn your lesson, Marquess.
109
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,412
It's better to let someone
walk away from you
than walk all over you.
110
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,313
When people treat you like
they don't care, believe them.
111
00:04:39,346 --> 00:04:41,406
One of the most courageous
decisions you'll ever make
112
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,078
is to finally let go
of what is hurting your heart.
113
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,648
My God! Are you still talking?
114
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:49,817
Ah, to hell with it.
Give me a bite of that.
115
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,331
Ooh, that is good. (EXCLAIMS)
116
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,231
It's gonna burn coming out,
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00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:58,802
but you can't say
it's not good going in.
(LAUGHING)
118
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,972
Real nice hot cakes, Mike.
119
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,770
Thank you
for saying so, Pigeon.
120
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,342
At least someone
in this house has manners.
121
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,942
Morning, Deezy.
You sleep well?
122
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,473
You're covered
in bird (BLEEP),
so probably not.
123
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:11,579
Just feeling blessed to have
a roof over my head, Mike.
124
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:13,181
Got a mystery
here for you guys.
125
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,913
Thanks, Deezy. Here, Yung,
why don't you read it?
126
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,948
You haven't spoken
in quite some time.
127
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,123
Oh, hmm, all right.
128
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,622
"Dear Mike Tyson
Mystery Team..."
129
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,593
No, it's too boring
when you read it.
130
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:25,322
Marquess, you read it.
You have that
flamboyant style.
131
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,658
Uh... Thank you?
132
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:29,264
"Dear Mike Tyson
Mystery Team..."
133
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,355
Hmm... Maybe it's Pigeon
that's the flamboyant one.
134
00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,798
You read it, Pigeon.
135
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,502
"Dear Mike Tyson
Mystery Team..."
136
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,634
Damn, maybe
I'm the flamboyant one.
137
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,939
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
138
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:44,112
no one believes me,
but my husband was abducted
by aliens, please help.
139
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,014
Megan Von Breyer."
140
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,945
Yeah, I'm the flamboyant one.
141
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:51,181
All right, team, time to fly.
142
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,617
Hey, Deezy, what's the status
on that "Time to Fly"?
143
00:05:53,653 --> 00:05:55,193
You get that shit copyrighted?
144
00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:57,291
We should be making a lot
of money off that shit.
145
00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,723
I'm one step ahead of you
and two steps back, Mike.
146
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:02,659
Ordered 10,000 ball caps
with "Time to Fly"
on the front.
147
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,195
We have a website
up and running,
148
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,230
and we're already being
sued by United Airlines.
149
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,696
No, Southwest.
150
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,074
-No, American Airlines.
-(ENGINE STARTS)
151
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,202
Oh, maybe it was Air France.
152
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,497
-It's some airline,
I gotta check my notes.
-(VEHICLE DEPARTING)
153
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,539
I think I left them
in the coop.
154
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:19,040
Can I help you?
155
00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:21,508
Oh, hello, we're the
Mike Tyson Mystery Team.
156
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,078
-We got your note
about the aliens.
-Huh!
157
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:27,147
That little bitch.
Abducted by aliens?
158
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,247
-She murdered my father.
-Oh!
159
00:06:29,289 --> 00:06:31,659
-So you're not
Megan Von Breyer?
-No.
160
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,431
I'm Emily Von Breyer.
161
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,360
Carlton Von Breyer's daughter.
162
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,495
And I was just asked to leave
163
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:40,230
by the grieving widow.
(EXCLAIMS)
164
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,926
Oh, sorry about that.
165
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:45,368
I had pancakes for breakfast.
(LAUGHING SHEEPISHLY)
166
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,440
YUNG HEE: Ugh, gross.
167
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,205
She just married him
for his money.
168
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,343
Now, now, Yung,
you don't know that.
169
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:55,878
Why, perhaps he was
a world-class cunnilingust.
170
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,445
A magnificent (BLEEP) eater.
171
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,385
A proper (BLEEP) muncher.
172
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,720
-MARQUESS: Just stop.
-Oh, there she is, outside.
173
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,421
-Surprise!
-(GASPS) Ah!
174
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:09,229
-Oh!
-Sorry, I sometimes
shout, "Surprise!"
175
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,332
-when I really mean
to whisper, "Hello."
-(GASPING)
176
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,730
You should have let me fall.
177
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,468
My life is already over.
178
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,474
Everyone thinks
I murdered Carlton.
179
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:22,766
Why? Because
he was 84 and I'm 23.
180
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:27,209
Because he had just changed
his will so that I would
be the sole beneficiary.
181
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:30,277
-Uh, yeah.
-It was his
anniversary gift to me.
182
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:33,746
He told me right here,
right before I gave him
his gift.
183
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,146
A shove off the cliff?
184
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,888
You're just like
the rest of 'em.
185
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:39,123
No, I got him a great gift.
186
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:40,958
I got him a star.
187
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,804
-What?
-Online, you can name
a star after someone.
188
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,260
And you get
a little certificate
189
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,928
that tells you
exactly where the star is.
190
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,727
The Carlton Star.
191
00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:52,269
It's up there... Somewhere.
192
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,505
(CRYING)
193
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:55,940
-And so is he.
-Oh, my God.
194
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,805
That is a great gift.
You know what else
is a great gift?
195
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,775
A lottery ticket.
196
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:03,783
It seems like something,
but it's really nothing.
And it's cheap.
197
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,576
So, after you
gave him this "star",
198
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,249
is that when the aliens
199
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,618
conveniently showed up
to take him off your hands?
200
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,857
If I pushed Carlton
off this cliff,
201
00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,032
how come the police
didn't find a body?
202
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,961
Because there is no body.
203
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:20,596
Because aliens took him.
They took him into space.
204
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:24,043
Please, you're my only hope
to clear my name.
205
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,140
Find Carlton.
Bring him back to me.
206
00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:31,341
Okay, seems pretty clear
what we have to do.
207
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:34,607
Simply go to space,
simply find these aliens,
208
00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,447
simply negotiate with them
209
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:39,552
over the release of Carlton
and simply return to Earth.
210
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,446
We may need to get
a heat shield.
211
00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,717
I think when you return
to Earth you need
a heat shield
212
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:45,356
or you burn up
in the atmosphere.
213
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:47,061
But the rest is pretty
straightforward.
214
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,563
Dad, it's obvious
she murdered him.
215
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,656
Yeah, that's what
I was thinking, too.
216
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,598
And now we don't
need that heat shield.
Good job, Yung.
217
00:08:56,936 --> 00:09:00,166
There has to be some evidence
down there that the
police missed.
218
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,466
Ooh, Yung is on a roll.
219
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:05,238
You didn't talk much
at the beginning, but now,
boy, you're talking a lot.
220
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,808
Go Yung!
221
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,876
Marquess, Pigeon,
what are you guys doing, huh?
222
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:11,375
You're only good as your
last line of the dialogue.
223
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:14,147
(STAMMERS) Well, how on Earth
would we get down there?
224
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,347
MIKE: Ooh, Marquess,
getting it in there.
225
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,819
Come on, Pigeon,
what do you got to say?
226
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,928
-(MARQUESS SCREAMING)
-Whoa!
227
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,390
Pigeon with the unexpected
physical move.
228
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,829
Now we're working like a team.
229
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,065
Ah! Pigeon, you asshole!
230
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,002
I thought you could fly.
231
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:34,437
-Aren't you an angel?
-MARQUESS: (YELLING)
I'm a ghost!
232
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:38,544
But, isn't your catchphrase,
"Time to fly"?
233
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,678
MARQUESS: That is
Michael's catchphrase!
234
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,854
PIGEON: Oh, you know what,
235
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,153
I think you're right.
236
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:48,419
(GASPS) Oh, my!
237
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,924
His wheelchair! Look!
238
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,587
It's Carlton's wheelchair!
239
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,725
So she did push
him off the cliff.
240
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,431
And now we have our evidence.
241
00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,302
We also have something
for me to use on long walks,
242
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,732
just in case
my legs get tired.
243
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,768
I didn't do it! I swear!
244
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,743
The wheelchair fell into
the ocean when the aliens
beamed him up.
245
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:13,276
I'm actually glad
she's as young as she is.
246
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:16,482
It'll be more time that
she gets to rot in prison.
247
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,619
What are your intentions
with our star which
you claim is your own?
248
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:26,315
I have no intentions.
It was just a gift
from my wife Megan.
249
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,129
It was meant to be romantic.
250
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:31,261
She's the most loving,
kindhearted woman
I've ever known.
251
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:35,127
So you have no plans
on enforcing this document
and enslaving us?
252
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,798
Of course not. I just want
to go home to my wife.
253
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,268
Then we shall release you.
254
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:44,406
CARLTON: Oh! (SCREAMING)
255
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,014
-Hmm...
-We forgot to give him
a heat shield.
256
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:48,980
Time to fly.
257
00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,717
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
20187
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