Original subtitles

* Oh, yeah

* Oh, yeah

* You left

* I phoned

* Didn't see eye to eye

* No matter how hard I tried

* I left own my own

* Still I don't seem to find

* Any kind of peace of mind

* And I'm still

* Lookin' for you

* Have you seen my baby

* That's all I want to do

* Have you seen her lately

* Since you've been gone

* Since you've been gone, now

* Since you've been gone

* Gone so long now

* Since you've been gone

* Since you've been gone, now

* Since you've been gone

* Gone so long, now

* My friends add weight

* They tell me I should get away *

* Maybe take a holiday

* They know I hurt

* Every day I get in late

* Find it hard to concentrate

* And I'm still

* Lookin' for you

* Have you seen my baby

* That's all

* I want to do

* Have you seen her lately

* Since you've been gone

* Since you've been gone, now

* Since you've been gone

* Gone so long, now

* Since you've been gone

* Since you've been gone, now

* Since you've been gone

* Gone so long, now *

[ Woman Laughs ]

Yes. Kevin, my good buddy.

Gettin' drunk at state conference.

Gettin' stoned at Jubilee.

Your cheerleader underwear theory.

[ Laughs ] Crammin' for A.P. chem.

Stealin' the wagon wheels at Wagon Wheel Days.

[ Laughs ] Your buddy, Bruce Sumack. Who's Bruce Sumack ?

I have no idea. Do you guys want to bag this and go someplace else ?

"Dear Kevin, thanks for being an inspiration.

"Your-- Y-O-U-R-E-- friendship means a lot to me.

Good luck at Harvard. Your friend, Pat Prince."

P.S. I'm gonna kick your ass at graduation. He did not say that.

I'm just kidding. [ Woman ] Oh, Pat's the guy who kicked your ass ?

Yeah. Look, no one's gonna remember the fight. Everybody got into fights in high school.

- You didn't. - Well, it's 'cause everybody loved me.

-[ Man On Radio ] ...that number one hit, "You Don't Know Me." -[ Gasps ]

Dude. ** [ Female Vocalist ] Ooh, Jesus.

Zane, come on ! If my song was on the radio every five minutes, Give me a break.

I'd wanna hear it. Okay, that's not my song.

It's a twisted, repugnant perversion of my song.

Well, I like it. [ Groans ]

* Yesterday the dawn broke My God. I feel kind of hot.

Honey, will you feel my forehead ? [ Together ] Kevin !

[ Sighs Nervously ]

You never get nervous, do you, Holly ? Not since the plane crash.

Are you sure Zane Levy is gonna like these earrings ?

Yes, I'm sure. The others were way too big.

Well, I showed you the hoops, right ? That's what I'm saying.

[ Sighs ] Are you sure Zane Levy is gonna like this dress ?

Electra, you sat behind Zane in Latin class for four years,

and you never even talked.

And now he's supposed to, like, suddenly become a part of your life ?

Well, my aunt talked to his grandma, and she said he just broke up with someone.

Electra. Stranger things have happened.

You haven't seen Zane in ten years. Well, that's not true.

I bumped into him in 1989.

Do I look terrible ? You look beautiful.

You're always so perfect. Only since the plane crash.

[ Sighs ]

Clay, how ya doin' ?

There was this old lady today crossin' the street.

She was, uh, [ Scoffs ] really fuckin' old.

I mean, decrepit.

So, I figured I'd help her out.

Kinda take her arm, and I start to help her across.

And she pulled away from me, and she said,

"Fuck you. I can do it myself."

And it wasn't an Alzheimer's thing.

I didn't know old ladies said, "Fuck you."

Everybody says, "Fuck you." Some people say, "F you."

I mean, here I am goin' out of my way so this old lady doesn't fall on her ass,

and all she can say is, "Fuck you" ?

Did you say anything to her ?

I told her, "Fuck you !"

I'm just not gonna be nice anymore. How was the museum ?

Oh, it was great. Good.

I'd like to check in, please. My name is-- [ Woman ] Maria Goldstein ?

- [ Laughs ] - Tiffany Wagner.

It's Tiffany Winnie now. And this is my husband, Tyler. Tyler Winnie.

- Winnie ? - [ Together ] Yeah.

- [ Together ] Like the Pooh. [ Laughing ] - [ Laughs ]

Oh, here you go. This is Baby Tristan.

Oh, he's such a... enfant terrible.

Oh, keep it. We brought extras. Yeah.

Oh, well. We'll see you in there. Okay. See you later. [ Laughs ] Well-- Right.

Nice to meet you. Mm-hmm.

[ Exhales ] [ Woman Laughs ]

Todd.

Grace. God. Great to-- Great to see you again.

Uh, this is my wife, Sally. Um, Grace. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Todd, I need to talk to you for a minute.

Grace, we're gonna go into-- Todd, I'm sorry to approach you like this.

There's just no easy way to say it.

- But last year, when I ran into you-- - Grace.

Forget about your promises, Todd. I knew it was bullshit.

But, I got pregnant.

- [ Indistinct Screech ] - I had a baby.

What ? We had a baby.

[ Breathing Heavily ]

- I want to go back to the car. - Honey, she's-- Baby, she's crazy.

I want to go back to the car.

Honey, it's-- Why are you fucking me over ?

Because I wanted to do it all by myself,

and I thought I could.

And I did for awhile. I did a great fucking job.

But then I got laid off. That's why I need your help.

- Help ? - Child support.

Oh, shit ! I want to go back to the car !

- Honey, we just got here. - Fuck you.

- [ Gasps ] - Just till I can get on my feet again.

I wanna go back-- [ Crying ] Shit !

[ Smacks Lips ] Mm.

- [ Electra ] Maria ! - [ Holly ] Maria !

Oh, hi. [ Laughs ] Wow.

You look fetching. And you !

Fifteen pounds. It was twenty, but, you know, um, Labor Day. [ Laughs ]

She's been working out twice a week for six months.

Get a room next to us. You arranged for a suite ?

In case we get lucky. And if not, we can drink as much as we want.

Oh, well, I'm planning on both. Where's Rutger ?

Oh, I'm here sans boyfriend. Oh.

[ Woman ] ...then the doctor said I had acute angina,

so I slapped him. [ All Laughing ]

Is that the entrance, right there ?

Oh, no. That's just a cleverly designed facade.

You know, call me kooky, but could it be where it says...

welcome Clear View, Class of '87 ? Aha !

[ Car Radio ] * You don't know me You don't know me **

[ Sighs ] Oh, God.

Okay. Pat Prince, here we come. [ Laughs Nervously ]

[ Clay's Friend ] I should never have come here. [ Clay ] Come on.

Don't-Don't say that. Everybody else has B.M.W.s and jobs.

I don't have anything. The only reason I'm here is in case you have an episode.

I'm not gonna have an episode. I took my lithium.

I think I took it.

What if I meet somebody ? What am I gonna say ?

I went bankrupt. I'm unemployed.

Come on, Duncan. It's all in how you say it.

I'm unemployed.

Think James Bond-- "I'm sifting through offers."

Clay, I am the low of low on the bottom of the barrel...

and the town loser.

Yeah, but you got the tie. [ Flushing ]

[ Groans ]

Damn it !

[ Kevin ] Oh, this was great.

Great. I enjoyed myself. [ Chuckles ]

It'll be fun. Hey, "A" through "M."

That's me.

Uh, uh, seriously, uh, let's go home. Kevin, don't be that way.

No one is gonna remember some stupid fight. Come on.

Of course. You're right.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey. What's up ? Hey.

Hey.

Whoo-hoo. Pat Prince beat you up senior year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that.

Pat Prince really beat the shit out of you. You didn't get a punch in.

I can't believe it. He showed.

[ Laughs ] Thanks. [ Woman ] Have a great night. Live it up.

Hi. I'm Mollie Rusk.

I'm Kevin MacEldowney's wife. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, it's not as bad as it sounds. I get Sundays off.

Debbie, Kevin MacEldowney's wife.

Oh, I am so sorry.

Hey, partner. Hi.

Hey, Janine. Kevin.

Hi. Uh, this is my wife, Mollie.

This is Janine and, uh, Debbie. Yes, we've met.

Janine and Debbie here have been singing your praises.

We don't have a name tag for you, Kevin.

And yet, you cashed my check.

I'm sorry. I-I don't know what else to say, Kevin. Here.

Thanks. Uh, tell me, Janine, what's the candle power on that dress ?

What ? [ Mollie ] Okay.

See you later. Uh-huh. Okay. Bye-bye.

What's the problem with that ?

Did you see her, Janine Skleer ? Woof.

The one in the Fantasy Island dress without the lei.

She used to be really pretty. Um.

Did you see how old she looked with the bags under her eyes and that stringy hair ?

Boy, this is great. Come on.

[ Sighs ] I hope the music doesn't suck.

- Of course it's going to suck. - Oh, yeah. They'll probably play my song.

[ Mollie Chuckles ]

[ Laughs Quietly ] Oh. [ Sighs ]

[ Zane ] Maybe it's some other Kevin MacEldowney.

[ Mollie ] That's what you get for writing "deceased" on your junk mail.

Tsk. Rob Levitt. Rob Levitt.

It's not Rob Levitt. You think it's on purpose ?

Of course it's on purpose. Kevin.

Rob Levitt. He's probably still pissed that I upstaged him at graduation.

Remember ? Yeah. What ?

The fight between Kevin and Pat Prince took place during Rob's graduation speech, so--

[ Man ] Zane.

Hey, Clay.

Hug. Good to see ya. You're alive. Lookin' good.

Oh, he's cute, isn't he ?

Well ? I'm just waiting for the right moment.

I want it to be really nice-- something to remember.

You can tell people you were resurrected. Come on. [ Resigned Sigh ]

There you go. Have a great night.

Maybe see you out there. Janine.

Maria Goldstein.

Part of the esprit de corps this evening ?

Sometimes. Here you go.

Oh, no, no, no. I just wanted you to know I was here.

Oh, I heard you're living in Europe.

What do you do ?

I am account representative for a major North American water concern.

Oh. What do you do ?

I work for Hormel. [ Electra ] Maria.

[ Holly ] Wow. Another fancy outfit.

How's your room ? Oh, it's the kind of place you stay in...

while you're planning an assassination.

[ Sighs Deeply ] This is great, isn't it ?

It's gonna be a great evening.

Looks like Versailles as interpreted by Frieda Kahlo.

Well, Rob Levitt was in charge of the whole thing.

Ah, so he's the eminence grise of the evening.

I was gonna be on the committee, but I've been on the road.

And, you know, I just bought a house.

And you, mon ami ?

Oh, uh, I-I'm working at Crown Books.

I-It's just part-time behind the counter.

I-It's fine. At least I'm working.

It's a bad time for lawyers.

Then she's all boom, boom, boom, boom.

And then-- And then, boom, boom.

That's John Hula. Oh, baby.

He used to be the quiet one.

- Those guys used to be burnouts. - [ All ] Hey !

That's, uh, Mrs. Schulklapper, U.S. history.

Her breath used to make me cry.

Oh. Theater people.

[ Delighted Squealing ] Oh, my God.

Well, I just took a position over at Rush.

I'm in neurology. I don't have any insurance.

So, how's your mom ? Still hitting your dad ?

Oh, yeah. Big scene at the barbecue last week.

Who wants seconds ? I got it.

You know, you really should stop mixing vodka with your antidepressants.

Yeah. [ Smacks Lips ] So, the barbecue ?

Oh. Right. So, we have all the relatives over, right ?

And, uh, my ma's been drinkin' since, like, 8:00 a.m. or so. Uh-huh.

And my dad, he says, "Pass the yams." And out of fuckin' nowhere--

Where's the bathroom ? [ Man ] Downstairs.

Sorry. Thanks. Okay.

Out of fuckin' nowhere, my ma, she goes, "You want yams ? I'll give you yams."

And she picks up the bowl, and she throws 'em out the fuckin' window.

Oh, and then she did that thing to my dad.

Oh, what's that word ? Bludgeoned ?

Mm-mm-- Emasculated. Oh.

So how's the music thing goin' ? I hear your song like all the time.

Yeah. They play it like 100 million times a day.

It doesn't really sound like you. It doesn't ? Huh.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

I know. See ya in there.

That's Cathy Wigger, Wild Cathy.

The one with the grapes ? Uh-huh.

That's him, Wild Kevin.

The one with the thing on his back ? Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm working on this children's book. It's about this magical creature.

It's kinda like the tooth fairy.

Only it takes the teeth while they're still in the mouth.

Grace, you look so beautiful.

Thanks, Janine.

You look like a princess.

Oh. I love that backpack.

I didn't know you could wear blue and green together. Mm-hmm.

He looks-- What's wrong with him ?

Well, remember those bags under his eyes ? Yeah.

He got some kind of eye job.

Now he looks like he's surprised all the time.

- Hi. - Bonjour.

[ Electra ] Hi. Wow. You all look great.

- [ All Giggle ] - Are you married ?

[ All ] Yes !

Ron Dorpman, this is yourself leaving you a message. I love you.

What's that ? I love you.

I don't know. Hey. I love you.

Sorry. What's this ? [ Tifanny ] Here's Baby Tristian...

- It's for Scott Kyler. He's not doing too well. - in his car seat.

[ Giggling ] Oh, here he is. Heh heh.

[ Together ] A diaper change.

After watching this, death will be an up.

Just a joke. It's on here.

Hey, hey, Vicki. Still have a crush on me ? Ha ha ! [ Laughs ]

Oh, Grace. Beautiful as always.

Tony, I heard Susie left ya. Saw it comin', man. Okay.

Dave, Wiener Circle Wednesdays. [ Laughs ]

Hey, me, you, me ?

Hey, man. Todd, senior year trip.

Scotty, still talkin' about that field goal. Whoo-hoo.

Amy, nose ring. Watch when you pick.

Kevin. Wow, you look tired.

You mean dead ? What--

Oh, boy. Yeah.

I hope no one else on there was alive. [ Laughs ]

Kevin. Rob.

Well, I'm sorry. I mean, I had no idea. Wh-- Uh, wait a minute.

How's about--

[ Pen Squeaking ]

Better ? Hey, Jimmie.

[ Sighs ]

You deserve good things.

You deserve good things.

You deserve good things. [ Sighs ]

[ Whispering ] You deserve good things.

You deserve good things.

[ Rings ] Hi. Just clean the paint off your legs...

and put something on.

You're not coming ?

What do you mean, you're not coming ?

[ Sighs ]

Zane.

- Hi. - Hi.

I-I-It's me, Electra. Electra Pollack.

Oh, hi. God. Right. You look great.

Well, thanks. You too.

Thanks.

- We were in Latin, right ? - Right.

[ Sighs ]

So why isn't Rutger here ? Oh, it's a long story.

It involves a lot of shouting and a bit of his anatomy. I don't want to go into it.

Oh. I'm not so insecure I need to bring a date to this thing.

I don't have to impress anyone.

Well, it's too bad. I liked him.

Oh, this is a different Rutger. Oh.

Oh, my God.

Duncan Shepard ? Holly Petuto.

Hi. Hi.

How are you ?

Well, well, well. Hi, guys.

Hey, Dunc. Whoa. Ooh-hoo. What's with the hair ?

Just kidding. It happens.

Not to me, but-- Hi, peanut. Hey, Rob.

[ Chuckles ] Clay.

Rob.

So, you guys are still hangin' out together ?

And you do what ? I'm a social worker.

Ahh. And you're the podiatrist ?

Uh, actually, I'm in pediatrics.

Ah, yes. Do you have any Kind of your own ?

No, we don't have a fireplace. [ Man ] Maria.

Well, like they say,

es ist nicht alles gold was glaznt.

Ah, she must have just come back from Epcot. Yeah.

- [ Woman ] What is it ? - [ Man #1 ] What's up ?

[ Man #2 ] It's a blackout. Hello, hello. Up here.

Ha ha. Up here. Up h--

Good evening, everybody. I-- [ Feedback Pinging ]

- I, uh-- I, uh, just wanna thank-- - [ Loud Screech ]

- [ Crowd Groans ] - I wanna thank all of you for coming. Uh, in case--

- [ Feedback Continues ] - In case--

In-- Lose this piece of shit.

Uh, in, uh-- in case you don't remember,

I'm Rob Levitt. [ Cheering, Applause ]

I'm-- I'm the class president. [ Smug Chuckle ] Thank you. [ Man ] Rob...

bite me ! Listen, I want to extend a very special thanks...

to our very own Clear View Bee,

who flew in all the way from Newark.

Everyone-- Thanks, Jimmie. Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, ya. [ Crowd Cheering ]

Okay. All right. And now, without any further ado,

Reunion '87 has begun.

[ Crowd Cheering, Laughing ]

Damn it.

- [ Man Whooping ] - [ Man Laughing ]

[ Man ] You the man, Rob.

Okay. That-- That's-- [ Laughs ] All right.

Currently, I'm sifting through offers, and, uh--

Excuse me.

And you ? Are you still doing batik ? Batik ?

Yeah. You used to do really great work.

I remember this one wall hanging you did.

The one with the, uh, unicorns.

Well, I tried that for awhile.

I made some scarves for a shop in Plaza Del Lago.

But, you know, it's hard freelancing, and, uh--

But I was in a plane crash. Mind if I make this a troika ?

Oh, certainly. Sure.

Lately, I've had a strong desire to buy large pieces of furniture...

[ Laughs ] so the house doesn't look so empty.

Oh, you have a house ? Yeah.

And you, um, live alone ?

Yeah. I bought a new bed.

You know, I'm just so happy I ran into you.

It's so difficult, you know, meeting people.

[ Scoffs ] Tell me about it. Most of the guys I go out with are such jerks.

The guys I go out with are jerks too.

Great earrings.

You know, maybe it's like hornets or wasps or--

Oh, my God ! I haven't seen you in ten years !

Oh, my God. I haven't seen you in ten years !

Do you remember Mr. Marple ? He's an assistant, uh, soccer coach ?

I heard he went crazy. He thinks he's a cat now.

- Kevin. How ya doin', guy ? - Hey.

- Pat Prince, remember ? - Right. Yeah.

- Look, uh, about that thing that happened at graduation-- - Uh, don't.

I feel bad. I been thinkin' about it,

and, uh, I just-- I'm sorry.

Hello. That's okay. Hi. Uh, uh--

This is my wife, Mollie. Mollie, this is, uh, Hi.

Pat Prince-- he's uh, a, uh, uh, Hi.

a friend of mine from-from high school.

Oh, from high school. Really ? Yeah.

So, wh-what do you do now ?

- Well, I'm a-- I'm a doctor. - Me too.

Really. Uh, uh, I-I am in pediatrics over at Columbia-Michael Reese.

Oh, that's great. I have my own practice in Winnetka-- homeopathy.

Ho-Homeopathy ? Yeah. I use plants and shrubs to keep people fit.

I kinda fell into it after my residency. I love it.

We are so busy we have a six-month waiting list for new patients.

We can't keep up. But it's really great watching people get well.

Homeopathy is just... very exciting.

Isn't it a... crock of shit ? Kevin.

[ Beeper Beeping ]

Looks like you. Yeah, I'll be right back.

- Uh, you know, Pat, it's great to see ya, man. Really. - Good to see you too, Kevin.

Did he tell you about the time we gave him a chocolate swirly ?

That was different. I couldn't make it.

Well, what the hell was I supposed to do ? I was snowed in.

I see. So, you're punishing me ?

Hi, this is Dr. MacEldowney. Kevin ?

I thought you were dead.

Hey.

What ?

No, no. That can't be right. He was-- He was fine when I left.

[ Sighs ]

When ?

What happened ?

Well, I'm Tyler Winnie, so--

[ Tyler, Tifanny ] It's the Winnies now.

- Winnie ? - [ Together ] Like the Pooh.

I tell you, livin' in Palatine has been such a godsend.

Yeah. It's so close to everything.

We've got the mall right there, and Gymboree...

and it only took us an hour to get here.

An hour and five minutes, honey.

This is our first time out in a long time.

We're so lucky we found Amber to take care of Baby Tristan.

- So you have an au pair ? - Oh, no. No.

A baby-sitter. Yeah.

You know what Baby Tristan said today ?

He said... "chaiw."

- Chair. - [ All ] Ohh.

Chaiw, chaiw. Chaiw, chaiw.

- Will you excuse me ? I'll be right back. - [ Tiffany ] Sure.

[ Tyler ] Bye-bye. [ Tiffany ] Oh, did you all get a baby picture ?

I got one. [ Electra ] I didn't get one.

There ya are. [ Clay ] Is-Is Tristan a boy's name or a girl's name ?

[ Together ] It's a boy's name.

It's a family name.

Yeah, from Palatine-- a Winnie.

Yeah, Winnie.

Like the Pooh. [ Chuckles ]

Look, I really wish you were here.

Just-Just grab a cab and come on over.

[ Woman In Distance ] Oh, my God. I haven't seen you in ten years !

Well, then, get a nonsmoking cab.

Hello, Amber ?

You're all alone, aren't you, Amber ?

I've got a ball-peen hammer in my hand, Amber.

And I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna rip off your fuckin' head...

and shit down your neck.

Go like that.

You got it.

I'm here. I'm right here.

[ Tyler ] I can't understand you when you're hysterical. [ Tifanny ] Oh, my God.

Amber. Amber. Amber. Did you call the police ? Oh, my God. Tristian.

Amber, we're on our way. We have to go. Hurry up.

Just keep talking. Nice to meet you.

What happened ?

I don't know. The Winnies had to jettison back to Palatine.

The baby-sitter called.

Someone's trying to kill her or something. What ?

[ Holly ] Tiffany was really looking forward to tonight. That's too bad.

Who's hungry ? Dunc ?

[ Duncan, Softly ] Yeah.

Wow ! Yeah.

This room's kinda famous. Really ?

Yeah. All of high society used to hang here. [ Spits ]

Your cabaret; You have your theater.

Grandma Syd saw Caruso here. Really.

Yeah. Now, they use it mostly for kickboxing. Hey, fuckface.

Hey, jack wipe. What is up ?

Hi, I'm Mollie Rusk. Clay Mellon.

Nice to meet you. Duncan, how ya doin' ?

This is my wife, Mollie. Mollie MacEldowney, hi.

We're gettin' some chow. Uh, we're over at the, uh, at the Culture Club table.

Hey, I ran into Pat Prince. Oh, how is Patrick ?

- He's a doctor. - [ Laughs ] That was a good one.

I'm serious.

Mac and cheese. Have some, Zane.

[ Zane ] Mm. Some people make it with provolone.

Mm. Wings-- Get some before they're gone.

I think this is made with mozzarella. Mm-hmm.

I prefer mozzarella. Good stuff.

What is that ? It's stringier.

Hi. Do you have anything nonfat ? This is Chicago.

Excuse me. So, how's the gay thing goin' ?

I haven't dated anybody since the, uh, twin from hell. Oh.

You're gay ? Yeah.

But you were soccer.

Yeah.

The plane banked real sharp to the left.

And there was this, uh, thumping noise.

I figured it was nothing.

But, then, suddenly, we dropped.

It must have been about 5,000 feet in about a second.

All of the dinner trays flew up and hit the ceiling.

People were screaming and crying. They were hysterical.

Then we heard this, uh, "s-s-s-s" noise.

"S-s-s-s. S-s-s-s."

The plane was going like this.

And then, boom ! We hit the ground.

Debris was flying everywhere. Part of the fuselage went right past my head.

We finally came to a stop,

and there was smoke and sticky stuff...

and I saw this big hole.

So I unbuckled my seat belt,

and I ran out of the plane. [ Laughs ]

- [ Electra ] Hmm. - [ Woman Sighs ]

- Ahh ! - [ Both Laugh ]

You ran out of a plane...

and now you're famous ?

Well, it-it's not that simple. [ Laughs ]

Did-Did you save anybody ?

No.

- Were you injured ? - No. [ Laughs ]

Did you have to survive in the wild or something ?

No.

So, what's the big deal ?

The big deal is...

I was on a plane and it crashed.

And ?

Kevin.

Kevin, you used to be so much fun in high school.

Now, you're so... not.

What ?

Hey, you guys ! Duncan Shepard.

Ron Dorpman. [ All Together ] Right ! Hey !

Hey, how's it going ? Okay. Good to see ya. Okay.

Ron Dorpman. A/V. Oh, of course, yeah, the A/V guy.

Yeah. Right. Good. Hi. How are you doing ?

What are you doing these days ? I've been installing home theaters.

That's what you did in high school. Right.

Hold it out there like you're on a magazine.

You just made that. I like that. [ Shutter Clicks ]

Hi, Kevin.

Kevin. I know it was you.

I still have a scar on my back.

What do you mean ?

You spilled that beaker on purpose.

Oh, that.

That hurt ?

So... I just sat there waiting for him.

I didn't want to leave right away 'cause I thought he might be late.

But after an hour-- That's the last time I meet a guy in the net.

But that was then and this is now.

Holly has showed me all about positive thinking.

Now I know I'm gonna be involved with someone really great.

Jon Rilke ! Look. There's light in the box.

Ooh ! Ahh !

[ Laughs ] Not really.

Oh, thank you.

He sells carpeting... on television, I think.

Uh, Ms. Petuto ?

Oh, my God. It is you. I can't believe it. [ Laughs ]

Um, um... I just wanted to tell you that, um--

I heard you speak at Northwestern. Oh !

And, I just want to say thank you.

I deserve good things. You do. [ Laughs ]

[ Laughs ] Do you mind ? Oh, sure, yeah.

I can hold-- Okay. You just, uh, make it out to Claire. Okay.

[ Mouthing Words ]

Someone's making some serious money here.

Hey, guys ! Hey, Rob.

Man, this food is great. [ All Laughing ]

[ Holly ] Yeah. Who knows ? [ Rob ] Well, well, well.

What do we have here ? The, uh, soccer players' table ?

And Duncan. So is everyone having a, uh, good time ?

- Suck my ass. - What ? - [ Together ] Yes.

Great, great. Hi there, Peanut, darling. Come here. Oh, all right.

[ Laughs ] So, uh, hey, dude, wanna try the rumaki? It's pretty damn good.

It's quite a soiree, Robby. You really captured the zeitgeist of l987.

Well, merci, Maria. Merci.

I think you did a great job.

I mean, it must have been so hard finding everyone, tracking them down.

- I tell ya. - Getting the hotel and the catering...

and the band and... gosh, these lovely decorations.

Oh. You like these ? Oh, yeah.

- Well-- - You did good, Rob.

Oh. You did real good. Oh. Wow ! Thank you, Grace.

Well, okay, I'll uh, catch you kids later, right ? See you.

Hi, Zimba. Hi.

That happened to a friend of mine who, uh, ran a bee-pollen clinic,

uh, for sort of, uh, waysided bees.

Have you heard about this ? No, I would love-- Can you get me in touch with him ?

Yeah. There's a whole thing with waysided bees, where bees are flying to the left too much.

They keep flying in circles and end up in the wrong state, principally Rhode Island.

I don't get the law of similars. I don't get the vital force.

No one has shown that homeopathy fits into a scientific model.

Some things can't be explained. You just have to accept them.

I don't have much planned. Going to take the waters, perhaps a massage.

Why don't you stay with me a couple days ? My house is right on the lake.

You own a house on the lake ? Yes.

Hey, we do too. Oh.

Did you bring that from home ? Mm-hmm.

Dunc ! Elliot D'Angelo. Hi ! How ya doing ?

Great. What are you up to now ? I'm sifting through offers.

Uh-huh. How about you ? You still working for your dad ?

Yep. I actually took over the chain.

We just sold two theaters in Highland Park.

The market's a bitch though. I'm still trying to dump the one in Evanston.

You're selling the Selwyn ? Yeah.

Wow. You know, I used to go there when I was a kid.

Yeah, my dad loved that place.

He built it by hand, brick by brick. But he's retired, so fuck it.

Could I get some sort of crepe-latke like-thing ?

[ Laughs ]

You guys. You-- Mmm. Okay.

Here's something to think about while you're eating.

Oh, and speaking of eating, make sure you try the flan. It's excellent.

- [ Man ] You da man, Rob ! - Is anybody doing what they thought...

they'd be doing... ten years ago ? [ Woman ] Sit down !

Gee, Rob. That is just a fascinating--

[ Both Snoring ]

I think it is a fascinating topic. Who wants to have...

a roundtable discussion ? Oh, right here.

Come on. It'll be fun.

I for for one am not doing what I thought I would be doing.

I was sure I'd be a weatherperson.

And now I give seminars. People pay you money to hear you speak ?

Yes. I'm what they call an inspirational speaker.

Now, who wants to go first ? [ Zane ] Oh, I think Clay does.

How about Electra ?

Uh, well. I, um, I thought I'd have some kids...

and, uh, and a house, oh, and a husband,

and, um, a really good job.

Other than that, I'm pretty much on track.

Well, stick with it, Electra. You can do anything.

Maria. Oh, well. I expected to be spending much more time...

in the Cote d'Azur. Yeah. You really need to work on that tan.

I'd hope they had a dress code on the channel.

And well, who could've predicted the Turkish problem.

[ All ] Mmm. [ Kevin ] The turkey problem ?

[ Clears Throat ] Turkey sandwich problems. Duncan.

Hmm. I'd thought I'd be a pilot...

or a policeman, maybe a veterinarian...

- or a fireman. - You wanted to be a veterinarian ?

- Or a fireman. - I love animals.

- Really ? Do you like to go to the zoo ? - What about me ?

Oh, what about you, Grace ? What do you do ?

- I swim. - [ Laughs ]

Professionally, you're-- [ Holly ] Zane ?

[ Zane ] Oh, I'm pretty much where I thought I'd be, except I did expect my life...

to be a little more David Bernon, not as much Barry Manilow.

And I thought I would've settled down with a handsome doctor,

but whatever, Kevin.

- Yeah, the breaks, man. Take him. - And Millie ?

Mollie. Millie . Oh, Mollie.

That's okay. You didn't go to Clear View, so you don't have to go.

Oh, it's just as well. I had no life before Kevin.

[ Laughs ] That's true. That's completely true.

Well, Kevin, what about you ? What were you expecting ?

Well, Holly, to make a difference.

What kind of difference ?

I don't know.

Well, sometimes it's hard to find words...

to express those deep feelings, Kevin.

But when you figure it out, let us know.

I will, Holly.

Let me know, too, man.

- Clay. - [ Chuckles ] Don't look at me.

I thought I'd be dead by now.

[ Snoring ]

Well, it was still great to see you guys. This is so much fun. Great to see you too, Janine.

I'm having a great time. I love your dress.

Thanks. [ Gasps ] Oh, my god !

Aah ! Aah ! [ Rob ] Uh, a couple more announcements...

Uh, make sure you try the flan. It's excellent.

[ Man ] You the man, Rob. Oh, let's see. For team photos...

you wanna go upstairs to the hotel lobby.

And now, our illustrious band is going to kick in.

I'm sure you remember these guys from Wagon Wheel Days.

Let's give a warm Bee welcome to the Luv Jonz.

I did the drummer. [ All Clapping, Whistling ]

One, two.

* Dark in the city Night is a wire *

* Steam in the subway Earth is afire *

* Do, do, do, do, Do, do, do *

* Do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do *

** [ Continues, Indistinct ] And then I realized,

why don't we just turn the upstairs den into a media room ?

Yeah, why not.

Grace ! Hi. Tori, hi !

- You look great. You remember Clay Mellon. - Hi, Clay.

- Grace. - Whoa ! Flashback.

Do you remember the time we took the field trip to the Shed Aquarium ?

You organized that trip, didn't you ?

It was so sad when Ms. Beidelick got stuck in the bus doors.

God, wasn't that--

Whoa ! Flashback.

- Do you remember the field trip to-- Oh ! - Oh, I--

Geez. I'm sorry.

- [ Tori ] I know. - * And I'm hungry like

* The wolf *

* You saw me standing

* By the wall

* Corner of Main Street [ Woman ] Ow, ow, ow, ow.

[ Kevin ] Okay. You know I-- I can't really tell without doing an x-ray...

and the best thing for you to do is to call your doctor tonight.

Could you write me a prescription ? For what ?

Ow, ow. Nembutal. No, no. I- I can't do that.

- Oh. How about some Valium ? - Hey ! What's up with the foot ?

He said it's broken. Oh, you poor thing.

I did not. I did not say it was broken. Let me take a look.

You know, Pat, I got it under control. Thanks, buddy.

Okay. Does it hurt here ? Oh, yeah.

Okay. I want you to hold this.

Do you sleep with one leg outside of the covers ? Yes, I do.

Uh-huh. Can you write prescriptions ?

Yes.Can you rotate your foot ? No.

What do you need ? Um, Seconal ?

I can't do that. I can-- How about some Demerol ?

Now, Patty, why don't we just give you a morphine drip ?

- Okay. - * Save it till the morning after **

Hey, Duncan. Jordan Cardozo, hi. How are you ?

I'm great. Hey, I heard you lost your business. What's going on ?

I'm sifting through offers. Oh, yeah.

How about you ? I-I just left McCalen and Beard.

I'm in development now. My partner and I are looking for a space.

We want to open up a club somewhere up north kinda like Limelight, but, uh, cool.

You know, you should talk to Elliot D'Angelo.

He's trying to sell his dad's theater up in Evanston. A theater ?

Ah, it's beautiful. Where in Evanston ?

* Her name is Rio She don't need to understand *

* And I might find her

* If I'm looking like I can

* Oh, Rio, Rio, hear them shout across the land *

Four shots of Stoli. Duncan, come here.

That's 16.

[ Zane ] I got it. [ Clay ] No, I got it.

I got it. No, I got it.

Your wife is pretty. Thank you.

I like your tie. Oh, thank you.

[ Kevin ] Okay, thanks. What shall we drink to ?

[ All ] To getting laid. [ Laughing ]

I haven't gotten laid in...

in April, May, June-- [ Laughs ] five months.

I haven't gotten laid in five months either. Yeah, but in gay time...

- that's a year. - Guys !

[ Crowd Cheering, Distant ] [ Chuckles ]

Ah ! Isn't she incredible ?

Took out the 327, put in a 427.

I had to make a slug hole in the floorwall to make it fit.

So, it's not the best place to ride shotgun,

but, man, she goes zero to sixty in 5.l.

I'm not lying. You gotta hear the engine.

[ Engine Starts, Revs ]

[ Laughs ]

She used to make a "chunk-chunk" sound, but I heard about...

this carburetor out in Billings, Montana,

and I went out there and got it.

Now she's smooth as a baby's ass. [ Laughs ]

That's great. Why don't we go back in now ? And this baby,

you know how long I looked for this ?

Take a guess.

- A year ? - Fifty years ?

Four years.

Finally got it off a little old lady in Bangor, Maine.

It's the tenth-anniversary badge.

They only made 37.

[ Laughs ] It's weird, isn't it ?

I haven't seen you guys for a couple of years, but look-- we're tight.

Right back where we were.

** [ Continues ]

[ Crowd Cheering ]

* Hey

* Jenny, Jenny who can I turn to *

- * You give me something - And thank you.

* I can hold on to Gin and tonic.

* [ Continues, Indistinct ] Oh, could you put some more ice in it ?

They don't have ice in Europe.

You very much remind me of a viscount I had behind...

the Coke machine at the Vatican.

Are you a prince or something ?

$4.50.

I don't know why people come to these things--

looking for remnants of their misspent youth, I suppose.

Here I am pretending to have a good time.

Pretending to smile. Pretending.

Yeah, we all pretend.

That is the best gin and tonic I have ever had.

Oh. Thanks.

Oh.

- Thank you. - Sure. [ Coughs ]

Hey, Duncan ! Thanks for the tip. Yeah, were hashing out a deal.

Hey, hey, man, I need, um, a sound system and some permits.

You got any ideas about that ? You should talk to Ron Dorpman.

He installs that stuff. Oh, yeah.

Hey, have you guys seen Clay ? No. No.

And-And I think another thing that is important is that your exits are all clear.

I bet you could use a little break.

Oh, yeah. Tell me about it. [ Laughs ]

Maybe later... I'll fix you a drink.

We can lounge on my sofa and chat.

And then...

when we can stand it no longer...

an act of communion.

We'll start out unhurriedly,

and then barrel to a breakneck pace,

building up to a paso doble.

a grand mal, a teetering bender,

swagging and pitching and waggling and wampling...

until we reach a crescendo of carnality. [ Gasps ]

Think of tonight as a stamp...

in your passport to happiness.

- Ah ! - [ Laughs ]

- Wow. - Oh.

I bet that usually works for you, huh ?

You were hitting on me, right ?

[ Sighs ] * 867-5309

* 867-5309 [ Laughs ] Come back.

It was really great seeing you again. Bye.

Hey, Holly. Have you seen Clay ?

Oh, yeah. Um, I think I saw him brooding in the lobby.

Thank you.

You like Duncan Shepard ? What do you think ?

Well, he's not too good-looking.

He's kind of simple. Yeah.

* Jenny, Jenny who can I turn to *

[ Kevin ] You get distracted during sex ?

Not when I'm alone. No, I mean,

do you ever, like, not want to be there ?

Is the sex not good ?

Well-- Because it sounded okay from the guest room.

You guys kept me awake all night. Oh, that's the people upstairs.

They keep us up too. [ Chuckles ]

Uh, Mollie is different. Really ?

Yeah. She's-She's-- She's changed. She's changed ?

Yeah. I mean, maybe it's that march of time.

Maybe it's her job. I don't-- I don't know. Maybe you're an idiot.

Hi ! What's wrong ?

We ran into Mark Hevrdejs. It's very sad.

He's in love with his corvette. The hood ornament gives him a woody.

- [ Chuckles ] - Is he, um, seeing anyone ?

[ Photographer ] Okay, cheerleaders, let's go. Big smile. Here you go.

All right. Okay, soccer team. Come on. [ Laughing ]

You actually believe that water can be influenced...

in some magical way ? Look, I've seen it work, okay ?

But it works, it works because people need to believe it works.

It's called a placebo. What about infants ? Homeopathy works on infants.

So does Big Bird. [ Woman ] So, anyway,

I took that job with the city of Evanston.

We do elevator inspections, city stuff.

- Permits. We do permits. - Hey, Zane ! I hear you're gay.

Yeah. I'm gay too.

Great ! We can start a club. [ Photographer ] All right. Everybody look in there.

Okay, smile big.

Hey, great. Thanks. Nice going. Lots of luck.

See you in ten years. All right. Next.

You should talk to them over there.

Guys ! Someone need a permit ? [ All ] Hey !

* We are strong

* No one can tell us

* We're wrong

* Searching our hearts for so long *

* Both of us know it [ Woman ] Take off your shoes.

* Love is a battlefield Hi. Hey.

How are you ? All right. How are you doing ?

I'm good. I was hopin' to see you here.

Oh, yeah ? Oh, yeah.

You know, I, uh, I've been meaning to call you.

I read that article on the heat wave about a year ago. [ Laughs ]

It was great. Really. You're a doctor now, huh ?

Yeah. I knew you'd do something heroic.

Well, you know. All right. Come on, medicine man.

* Do I stand in your way

* Or am I the best thing you've had * Um, you look fantastic.

* Believe me, believe me So do you. Oh, yeah.

* I can't tell you why So life's good ?

Can't complain. Any kids, Dr. MacEldowney ?

No. That's surprising.

Well, I'm full of surprises. [ Laughs ]

* We are young

Um, why did we ever break up ?

Uh, you were a pain in the ass. Hmm.

* No promises, no demands

Great. * Love is a battlefield

I think he's looking.

- [ Laughing ] - * We are strong

* No one can tell us we're wrong * What about him ?

- Too much of a Dorothy Hamill thing going on. - * Searching our hearts

* For so long How about him ?

[ Zane ] Woo-hoo. * Both of us knowing

Boris Yeltsin meets Yanni on the high seas. Ahoy, matey ! [ Chuckles ]

* Love is a battlefield Are you mad at him ? [ Sighs ]

I don't know how much more I can take. I want him to be the other way.

Well, you do have lots of options.

Counseling, barbiturates, murder.

I mean, at the end of the day, do you want someone perfect ?

Hmm ? Or you want someone Kevin ?

Ooh ! What about him ? Woo-hoo. Belt.

* There's no way this will die *

[ Woman ] Oh, my God ! I haven't seen you in ten years !

Liar. Hi ! Oh, my God !

I haven't seen you in ten years. We just saw each other right outside.

It's so good to see you again. Yeah.

* We are strong

* No one can tell us we're wrong *

* Searching our hearts for so long *

* Both of us knowing Oh, oh, oh, God ! Oh.

* Love is a battlefield *

[ Snoring ]

[ Distant Crowd Cheering, Clapping ]

[ Zane ] There she is. Then go up to her. [ Clay ] I know. No.

Hey, Duncan ! Duncan ! Duncan !

You rock, man. Thanks a lot, man.

What'd you do ? No idea.

Dunc, could I get five minutes with you a little bit later ? Okay.

- * I'll be alone dancing You know I will * - Hey.

Together we're the land of milk and honey. [ Scoffs ]

Bzzt !

* Telling you everything inside and out *

* Love's dreams

I just actually, I wanted to tell you I was kind of flattered you threw up on me.

I know that sounds really weird and I'm not into that stuff like,

"Hey, come on over and throw up on me. I'm home alone."

I'm not like that. I'm just saying that, like,

a lot of guys would've killed to have been thrown up on by Grace Williams.

[ Kevin ] You what ? We export water to Europe.

But they have water there.

- It's a large market. - Oh, so-- Okay.

They send their water to us and we send ours to them ?

- Why don't you just sell them their own water ? - Our product is very specific.

- How specific can it be ? It's water. - Our bottles have a hand-pleasing shape.

Look. Bringing water from one continent to another is ridiculous.

Yes, it is.

Boy, I miss you.

Arrivederci. God.

Can you believe ? Man, you're-- you're being a real dick.

What ? Have you ever seen a bottle of water ? They date it for freshness. Kevin !

What is it going to do ? Go bad ? Okay, shut up.

Yes, it's ridiculous that she moves water from one country to another,

but it's what she does.

What's up with you ? Nothing.

Then chill. You don't want to lose your friends...

and your wife in the same night.

[ Both Sigh ] Good things will happen for...

Holly Petuto. Electra Pollack.

Good things will happen for...

Holly Petuto. Electra Pollack.

Good things will happen for...

Holly Petuto. Electra Pollack.

Oh ! Oh, oh. Electra !

Someone Saranned the sink. How could they do this ?

Damn it ! [ Sighs ]

[ Speaking German ]

[ Door Closes ]

[ Muffled Voices ]

Maria sure is smoking a lot more than she used to. Yeah. She's so tan.

Maria's not happy.

[ German ]

[ Receiver Banging ]

It isn't right. Yuck.

Well, try the blue one.

I think she's miserable.

I know. I tried to be close to her.

Hey, this is better Mm-hmm.

She has this thing that she puts on. What-What is that word ?

Facade. Yes. It's like she's miles away.

Oh, and the phrases she throws around. It's gotten worse.

What the heck is a gegenwart ?

I don't know, but I think I have one on my foot. [ Laughs ]

[ Door Closes ]

* Come on, Eileen Ta-loo-rye-aye *

** [ Continues, Indistinct ] Hey ! Good day, mates. You guys having fun ?

Whoo. Oh, my good-- Did you just put another shrimp...

on the barbie, or are you happy to see me ? [ Laughs ]

All right. We're going to play a little game. Is there someone named...

Eileen in the audience ?

Oh, my goodness. Eileen Bolenoski. Come on forward.

I got a little ditty for ya. It goes something like this.

* Now you have grown

* Now you have shown

- * Oh, oh, Eileen - All right, Captain. I see him.

He's coming up on the right cruiser. Yeah, yeah, I got him, Trevor.

Yes. Yes, yes. Direct hit. Oh, my God ! I'm going down ! Fire phasers !

Fire all phasers ! Fire all phasers !

Duncan.

You wanna come work for me at the club ?

And why ? [ Chuckles ] Because people talk to you.

I need somebody people can talk to. Well, I'm-I'm...

weighing my options. Duncan, cut the shit. I'm serious.

You wanna work for me ? Okay.

Good. Call me Monday morning.

We'll work it out.

[ Flushing ]

** Too-ra-too-ra

* Loo-rye-aye

* Too-ra-loo-ra

* Too-ra-loo

* Rye-aye

* Come on, Eileen Oh, I swear well he means *

* At this moment you mean everything *

* You in that dress My thoughts, I confess *

* Verge on dirty

* Oh, come on, Eileen

** [ Holds Note ]

[ Cheering, Applauding ] Thank you very much.

How 'bout that band ? Give it up. [ Hooting, Clapping ]

Okay, they're gonna take a, uh-- They're gonna take a short break.

That was a set ? I've heard longer haikus.

[ Rob ] Don't-- Don't worry, they'll be back.

And how 'bout a special thank you to Eileen ?

[ Clapping ] [ Man ] Please remove yourself from the stage, Robert.

Ladies and gentlemen, significant others,

spouses, fellow classmates, rent-a-dates...

[ Laughing ]

when I was approached by the reunion committee--

Hey, Moll. What's up ? Hey.

What's the matter ? Piss everybody else off ?

Yep. [ Scoffs ]

Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since the buffet table.

- [ Woman, Muffled Screams ] - Oh, how are you.

I've missed you so much. Asshole !

Do you have to judge everyone ?

Yep ! [ Scoffs ] Well, great.

Why don't you give up being a doctor and you can be a judge. It'll be perfect.

- Okay, what did I do ? - [ Scoffs ]

You're bitter. You're caustic.

You used to be funny, Kevin. But now you're just mean.

- I'm not mean, I'm honest. - [ Scoffs ] Oh, okay.

Oh, what ?

I saw you dancing with that... what's-her-face,

that woman with grapes ?

Cathy. Wh-- Yeah.

I watched you, Kevin. You were bright.

You were funny and charming. I was, like,

"Ah ! I remember that guy."

I haven't seen him in a long time.

[ Footsteps Departing ]

[ Rob ] It's that time in the evening to recognize all the people...

who came to be here with you guys tonight.

These are people who came from all over the world.

- [ Woman ] Sit down ! - All right, we have a three-way tie...

for those people who came farthest.

From Helsinki, Jenny Zimmer.

From Easter Island, Anita Pascarelli.

And all the way from his mother's house, Duncan Shepard, ladies and gentlemen.

It's a joke. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. [ Maria ] What is it ?

I-- I think I chipped a tooth.

How could you chip a tooth on flan ?

[ Crying ] It's a nail.

- Oh, that's a number two tack. - We have some celebrities in the house.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

These are people who, ten years ago, were just another classmate.

First off is Zane Levy, who wrote a top-ten hit single.

That's right, put your hands together. Oh, Jesus.

Someone else sang it but it doesn't matter. I liked it. [ Woman ] We love you, Zane.

It-- It's barely noticeable. [ Lisping ] Oh, it is too.

- It's-- - It's what ?

Do you hear that ? It's affecting my voice.

Next we have, uh, Holly Petuto,

- who survived a plane crash in 1994. - Don't worry.

[ Woman ] All right ! [ Man ] That's great !

And who can forget Stephanie Gutowski. Stephanie, that's right.

Wait. Uh... Electra ! Electra !

- [ Rob ] She stars in tours of Hair and Oh ! Calcutta ! - Oh ! [ Yelping ]

Stephanie, I have to say I saw "oh" lot of you in that show.

That's a-- Somebody keep that nail for evidence.

[ Lisping ] She sounds fine to me. [ Snickering ]

Ah ! [ Gasping ]

[ Rob ] Make sure you try the flan. It's excellent, and we do have some left.

Electra ?

Now, let's see. The, uh, the band, our illustrious band, is here way into the wee hours.

[ Man ] Shut the fuck up ! We'll be dancin'.

Oh ! I wanna go home.

I-- I look like David Letterman.

Yes ! A young, blonde, beautiful David Letterman.

Yes. Ready ?

Good things will happen. Come on.

[ Sighs ] Good things will--

You-- You've gotta try, Electra.

You know what, Holly ? I quit.

Electra,

I would love to wave my magic wand and have something wonderful happen to you,

but I don't have a magic wand.

- No one does. - Well, Rutger.

Sorry.

You have got to make your own luck.

Create your own destiny.

Get in your own plane crash.

Get in my own plane crash ?

Is that what it's gonna take, Holly ?

[ Duncan ] So what do you think of Holly Petuto ?

She sure can find a lot of ways to work the word "fuselage" into a sentence.

[ Laughing ] You okay ? [ Clay ] Yeah.

[ Toilet Flushing ] She says she likes animals.

[ Door Slams ]

[ Huffing ]

Duncan. [ Water Draining ]

You gotta dance, man.

That's what it's all about. I mean, ya want her. Y-Y-You gotta ask her to dance...

then you're dancing, you know, I mean--

Hey, Clay. Hi, Fred.

Ya dancin' ? No.

All right. [ Sniffs ]

I'm gonna get back out there.

[ Tyler ] ...and we dropped Amber off. It was still early.

We figured what the heck. We got on that expressway, we're here in 45 minutes.

[ Laughter ] [ Tyler ] 48 minutes, hon.

And he was so good. He fell asleep right in the car. [ All ] Aww !

Yeah. You're a little sleepyhead, aren't you, little Mr. Sleepyhead.

I swear, isn't he the cutest little thing ? Doesn't he have the cutest little feet...

and the cutest little toes ? [ Laughing ]

All right. Who wants to kiss a toe ? Anybody wanna ?

Oh ! That's Mommy and Daddy's song. [ All ] Aww !

Why don't you guys go out there and dance ?

I'll hold baby Tristan. You don't mind ?

I'd love to.

Great. Okay, Here you go.

Here you go to Grace. Auntie Grace.

Oh. Thanks. Here ya go.

Here's your banky. Is this your little banky ?

Isn't he precious ?

Oh, he's just the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Baby Tristan.

* Do you really want to hurt me *

* Do you really

* Want to make me cry Precious kisses *

* Words that burn me It's not bad. Mumbles.

Gonna get some air. Want some company ?

No. How did I know that ?

You know when Clay came out to visit me in L.A. ? Uh-huh.

* [ Continues, Indistinct ] I was up every night waiting to see if he got home.

That's Clay Mellon. He always did.

That's Clay Mellon too. Sometimes I think he's blessed. Yeah.

- Do you have any skim milk ? - Just cream. Jesus.

You've been very helpful all evening. I certainly appreciate it.

Maybe when Clay comes out to visit me next time, you can come with.

Really ? Yeah.

Well, maybe I will.

Is Los Angeles as bad as you say it is ?

No. I'm just a little bitter about the whole song thing. Mm.

Well, it's not like it's the only song...

you're ever gonna write, is it ?

Excuse me.

* Words are few I have spoken *

* I could waste a thousand years * Mrs. Schulklapper ?

Yes ? * Wrapped in sorrow words are token *

Would you like to dance ? Oh ! I sure would.

* Come inside and catch my tears *

* You've been talkin' but believe me *

* If it's true you do not know *

* This boy loves

* Without a reason

* I'm prepared to let it go *

* If it's love you want from me *

* Then take it

* Away

** [ Continues, Indistinct ] Kevin, you wanted proof ?

You got proof.

* It's over again

* Do you really want to hurt me *

[ Slashing Sounds ]

* Do you really want to hurt me *

* Do you-- [ Electrical Crackle ]

** [ Stops ] * Do you really want to make me cry **

- [ Chattering ] - [ Man ] Where's the music ?

Wait !

- [ Electronic Explosion ] - [ All Screaming ]

- [ Both Groaning ] - [ Chattering, Indistinct ]

[ Water Draining ]

[ Todd ] Grace ! Grace !

Grace, we-- We gotta talk, Grace. I, ah--

I've been thinking about this all night. I can be a man about this.

Whatever you need and, uh--

Is that-- Is that my boy ?

It's just- Oh, my God. It's just--

Nothing good will ever happen to you.

Nothing good will ever happen to you.

[ Unzipping Zipper ]

Oh, wait a minute.

Help ! Help !

Help me !

[ Kevin ] Aah ! There's no study that backs up homeopathy.

- [ Man ] Hey, look at that. - It's a double-blind.

[ Man ] It's a fight ! Homeopathy was never put up for a double-blind test.

[ Pat ] That's epidemiologist in a double-blind.

Yeah, where'd you learn that, Arizona State ?

[ All ] Ooh !

They did 105 rounds and it was statistically significant.

- Yeah, but it's not conclusive. - Yeah, well, sometimes you've just gotta believe.

Yeah, you probably believe in the tooth fairy, you homeopathic piece-of-shit.

[ All Scoffing, Laughing ]

Get him ! Get him, Kevin !

Yeah, well, why don't you just go someplace and...

overprescribe antibiotics. [ All Chattering, Laughing ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Coughing, Wheezing ]

[ Whispering ] I'm sorry, Kevin.

[ Mollie ] Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Kevin !

Kevin.

Kevin.

What are you doing ? I'm, uh, looking for the last shred of my dignity.

Uh, seriously, welcome to the worst night of my life.

I'm your host, Kevin MacEldowney. Honey, no one saw. [ Giggles ]

What am I to do with this night ?

I-- You know, that-- that page that I got ?

It was just this little boy.

His mother had one of those big trucks and, uh,

she didn't know that he had followed her out to the garage,

and... she just backed over him.

You know, we-- we worked on him and, uh,

you know, I thought it was gonna be okay, you know.

And he-- When I left it was okay, and, uh...

[ Sighs ] We lost him.

Ah, I just, um...

I just thought I was gonna be a little more noble, and a lot less stupid.

[ Laughs ] Shh.

Clay, what are you doing up here ?

You all right ? Yeah.

I'm sorry, Duncan. For what ?

Rob Levitt.

He said all those fucked things to you.

- I just sat there. - I don't even remember.

- He said you were losing your hair. - Well, I am.

I shoulda bashed his fuckin' face in.

That's nice, Clay, but it's not worth it.

What if he sued you ?

They could garnish your wages.

- Are you sure you took your-- - Yes, I took my fucking lithium.

Come on. Let's go back down.

There's a lot of people that, you know, wanna see you,

and there's a lot of beautiful and okay-looking women down there.

Do you see anyone you like ?

Kinda.

Ah. [ Breathing Heavy ]

Yes, I'm call-- [ Sighs ]

Yeah, yeah, well, you're just a pill-popping, kleptomanical ceramicist.

I don't mean that.

Yes, I'm calling from the Bismarck Hotel.

Ah, somebody put Krazy Glue on the toilet seat and my friend is stuck.

Yes, it's an emergency.

Look, you stupid bitch, my friend's butt is stuck to the toilet seat.

What part don't you understand ?

[ Sighs ] Yes, both cheeks.

You asked Mrs. Schulklapper to dance.

Oh, yeah, well, you know-- You are such a nice guy.

Oh, please don't say that. Why not ?

Well, because, uh, it's usually the kiss of death, you know.

Most girls, they don't like, uh, nice guys, and they-- I do.

Really ? Before we go any further, I wanna let you know...

that I have three rules for dating.

Are we dating ?

One: Never stand me up.

Two: Never lie to me.

And three: Never call me Peanut.

Why did you come up with all the rules ?

Well, you have to have rules, because--

Well, don't you have any rules ? No.

Well, then, you'll have to think of one.

I'm gettin' smokes.

Called 911.

Don't worry, we'll get ya out of this imbroglio.

[ Sobbing Hysterically ]

What's wrong ?

It's not fair.

I went to fucking law school.

I expected a life.

So did I.

[ Sobbing ] Right before I came here tonight,

Boo spilled his water...

[ Chuckles ]

and I stepped in it.

Boo always spills his water out of his bowl,

and I come into the kitchen and I'm wearing socks,

and I don't see the water all over the floor,

and I step in it.

I feel so gross, for one thing. And I get no usage out of my socks..

and it brings me one day closer to laundry day.

And the thing is...

I always forget.

It completely slips my mind.

And then, I'm in the kitchen a couple of hours later...

and Boo spills the water,

and I step in it again.

I wish I had a dog.

Do you wanna go back ? No, not yet.

What ? How come we never did this before ?

I have no idea. [ Giggles ]

Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if it was different ?

Sometimes.

Sometimes I- I wonder what it would be like if I lived in a big house...

or had a lot of pets...

or if I played pro football...

or was married...

or lived on another planet...

or was a deep-sea diver. Does it ever bother you that it's not like that ?

No. I get up in the morning and I go to work,

if I'm lucky enough to have a job, and then I come home.

Ideally, there'd be somebody to come home to, but--

you know, as it is,

I've got my family and my health and my friend-- s.

There's not much more that I need.

What about you ?

I used to wanna be famous.

- And now ? - Oh, I think I wanna be happy.

* You don't know me * You don't know me

* You don't know me

[ Together ] * Well * Uh, guys--

This is so great. I am so proud of you, man.

Shouldn't you be in Dungeons and Dragons about now ?

I was at my chiropodist getting something checked,

and I all of a sudden realized, "I know that music !"

And I was like, "Let go of my body, I've gotta hear this song."

Yeah. Listen, I wanna be in your video.

Look, look, look. What movie am I from ? You wanna drink ?

- Two dollars and forty cents. - Move outta the way, you dumb-ass motherfucker.

You don't wear shades at night, you dumb-ass motherfucker.

Helen ? Whatcha-- What you doin' ? What ?

What have you been doin' ?

Raisin' hell.

Do you need some help ? Oh, thank you. What a pretty lady.

[ Car Engine Idling ]

Hey. Hey.

Hey, girl. What are ya doin' ? What's happenin' ?

I'm sorry. I thought these were mine.

- [ Engine Revving ] - Oh ! You got my shit in there.

I got my-my-my cigarettes in there and my chocolate milk.

Give me my stuff, girl. I'm gonna give 'em to you this time.

Okay.

Ain't that a bitch ?

[ Grunting ]

* Two dozen other dirty lovers *

* Must be a sucker for it

Wait, wait. * Cry, cry But I don't need my mother *

* Just hold my hand while I come *

[ Panting ] * To a decision on it

* Sooner or later your legs give way You hit the ground *

* Save it for later Don't run away and let me down *

* Sooner or later you hit the deck, you get found out * [ Grunting ]

* Save it for later Don't run away and let me down *

* And let me down

[ Both Grunting ]

* Black air and seven seas are rotten through *

* But what can you do

* I don't know how I'm meant to act with all of you lot *

* Sometimes I don't try

* I just now now now now now now now now now now now now now *

Oh, honey.

* Sooner or later your legs give way You hit the ground *

* Save it for later Don't run away and let me down **

[ Man ] You're the man, Rob.

Zane ? Zane, can I talk to you for a second ? Yeah.

Well, you know we're having a little, uh, trouble with the music.

And everyone seems to feel that you're some kind of celebrity.

Uh, so do you think maybe, uh, you know, if you wouldn't mind, maybe...

singing one of your songs ? No way. I don't sing anymore.

Look, Zane, I'm gonna level with you.

Um, we've run out of ice. There is no music and no one is eating my flan.

Now, I don't-- I don't know what the fuck is going wrong, but...

for God's sake, Zane, they're singing show tunes.

* Give my regards to Broadway *

* Remember me to Herald Square *

* Tell all the gang at 42nd Street *

* That I will soon be there *

* Whisper of how I'm-- * Okay. Great you, guys.

Okay. Then give my regards to the exit.

There you are. Everyone, can I-- Hold it, Rob.

Okay, this is expensive. All right. All right.Got it. I apologize.

I can't believe you're doing this.

[ Sighs ]

* Yesterday the dawn broke

* Like an earthquake

* I rolled over and went

* Back to bed

Shh-Shh-Shh-Shh. Keep your voice down. What are you saying ?

You've got to pay for new speakers. Oh, I have to. [ Chuckles ]

Look, it's not my fault if you don't know what you're doing and you blow the speakers.

Read your contract. Look, if you don't pay for new speakers...

I'm tellin' Mom.

** [ Continues, Indistinct ] [ Scoffs ]

* It's another Sunday

* Empty streets Mission bells *

* It's a five-and-ten cent store *

* Full of dreams

* That never sell

* You don't know me

* You don't know me

* You don't know me well

* Loneliness

* Is my latest love

* But he never puts his

* Hands on me

* He's got the perfect view

* From up above

* And he knows I'm here

* And there's no place I wanna be *

* It's another Sunday

* Of empty streets and mission bells *

* It's a five-and-ten cent store *

* Full of old friends

* That wish you well

* Well, you don't know me

* You don't know me

* You don't know me well

* So many strangers

* So many faces

* I've flipped through the pictures *

* And read in between the spaces *

* I see the sunlight dancing *

* On my '68 Valiant grill

* I count all the sunsets

* And all the mornings until

* I catch a glimpse of you

* It's another Sunday

* Of empty streets Mission bells *

* It's a five-and-ten cent store *

* Full of dreams

* That never, ever sell

* Well, you don't know me

* You don't know me

* You don't know me well *

[ Sighs ]

[ All Cheering ]

[ Woman ] We love you, Zane.

I-I thought you were going to do the one on the radio.

Can you see from there ? 'Cause you know, you might get a better look...

if you put your face in her ass.

[ Chuckling ]

So, tell me more about Hormel. Roger, I can't--

Good night, kids. [ Chuckles ]

So, how'd we do ? $5,500.

How much ? $3,500.

Okay. [ Kissing Sound ]

[ Giggling ] What are you doing ? I'm smelling you.

May I take you to dinner tomorrow night ? Yes.

Hey, I thought of a rule.

Holly Petuto, you can't talk about the plane crash any more.

Except if it's for work.

Okay.

Wait.

I better find Clay.

Till tomorrow night then ? Uh-hmm.

Are you sure ? Yes. [ Chuckles ]

Good night.

Yes.

[ Door Opens ]

Oow. Ooh.

You take care, now.

Electra... I've been looking for you.

Really ? Yeah, you ran out of here so fast,

I didn't get a chance to ask if you ever, uh, ate dinner.

Yeah ? Yeah.

Would you be interested in having dinner with me sometime ?

Uh... yeah.

Yes ! I'm going to give you my number.

Holly.

There you go. Thanks.

Can I have that ? Oh, um... sure.

Thanks.

I'll see you tomorrow night. Okay.

About 8:00.

Okay. Call me.

I will.

[ Sighs, Chuckling ]

Ohh !

[ Sighs ]

[ Laughing ] Honey, he's so cute. [ Laughing ]

How's your ass ? Ooh, Ooh.

Thanks, man.

Electra.

Uh, that's better. That's a lot better.

Oof !

Hey. Hi. [ Chuckling ]

I, uh... thought I'd hold on to this, you know.

A general reminder that I'm not dead.

Great. What do you think ?

Put it over the fireplace.

I have to take down that clown painting.

[ Chuckles ] Oh.

Um...

I love you, Mollie.

I love you too, Kevin.

So how'd we do ? Ah, we got rid of all that meat...

left over from the wedding yesterday. Thank God.

You're not kidding. It was getting ready to spoil.

What are we going to do with all this flan ?

Oh, not to worry. We're going to pawn it off tomorrow at that communion.

That's thinkin'. Mm-whah. [ Chuckling ]

Good night, Rob. Good night, Mom. Good night, Jo Ann, Mary.

Good night, Rob. Night-night.

[ Grace ] Hi, Rob.

Well, well. Hello, Grace.

Didn't really get to see you much tonight.

Yeah, you know, I know. Tell me about it.

I kind of wanted to, uh, you know.

I've been thinkin' about you, Rob.

Go on. Really.

Really ? And what, pray tell,

have you been, uh... thinkin' about, huh ?

Jesus !

What-- Wh-- Mr. Creep-Up-On-Ya.

[ Chuckles ]

This is for staring at my tits for four years. [ Muffled Grunts ]

This is for having a Trans Am in the 11th grade.

This is for rubbing your thing against me senior year. [ Spitting ]

And this... [ Hocking ]

is for Duncan.

[ Sighs ] What next ?

Hmm.

[ Man Sobbing ] [ Horn Honks ]

[ Sobbing Continues ]

No, you have to think of colors with three G and all tha-- I said, "Three G. The--"

Hey, Mark ? Mark.

Are you okay ?

My hood badge. Oh, no.

- Someone took my hood badge. - You're gonna make it. You're gonna make it.

You're gonna make it, Mark. You're gonna make it.

Come here.

[ Sighs ]

[ Crying Hysterically] We entrusted her to... Gretchen ?

No ! Grace ! Grace. Grace, and--

[ Crying, Talking Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Muffled Grunts ]

[ Muffled Grunts Continue ]

Shotgun ! Oh, it's really bad.

Did you get lucky ? No.

But there's always the flight back, huh ? [ Man Wretching ]

How about you ? Uh, things are okay.

You know, I think tonight, I'm going to try to piss off the people upstairs for a change.

Yeah. Yeah.

Make them stay up all night. Is that mean ? Yeah.

Oh, I was going to start being nicer.

Mm-hm. Fuck it. I'll start tomorrow.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey, Duncan ! Hey.

- Just don't do anything I wouldn't do. Huh ? - Uh, no. I-I wouldn't.

Bye, Grace.

- [ All Screaming ] - [ All Screaming ]

You're dead !

[ All Chattering, Indistinct ]