Original subtitles

Good morning, Layne.

It's 5:00 a.m.

Do you ever feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day?

Not me.

I think there are exactly the right amount.

As long as you're scheduled,

organized,

and have an adequate supply of energy bars...

My favorite is almond vanilla...

I firmly believe...

Do, mi, fa, so, la...

you can do it all.

Ti, do...

You might even say

"scheduling" is my jam.

Time for closing remarks.

I know a sixth grader has never run

for middle school president.

But I think that's part of the problem.

Not everyone here has an equal voice

and I can help change that.

So if you vote for Layne Reed...

More like Lame Reed.

I promise to be the organized, dependable leader you deserve.

With Layne Reed, you get no surpri...

You get no surpri...

No surprises!

Thank you.

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Jump in It's time to go fast ♪

♪ Turn up the radio blast ♪

♪ I got my foot on the gas ♪

♪ We just want to go ♪

♪ My life's feeling unreal ♪

♪ Both hands are taking the wheel ♪

♪ Rev up the engine and feel ♪

♪ Like we're ready to roll ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, I'm ready for it ♪

♪ You know I'm ready for it I just wanna go ♪

♪ You know I'm ready for it I just wanna go ♪

And then, out of nowhere,

these two cars roared through and messed up the ending.

That speech was great. No way some traffic noise ruined it.

Exactly. And besides, you can't plan for everything.

Time to start dinner.

Thanks, Alonzo.

Just remember, sweetie, you might be an underdog,

but this isn't a popularity contest.

Clearly you guys don't remember middle school.

What is that?

Sounds like someone dropping

a sledgehammer down an escalator.

Oh...

It's Zora.

When you are home schooled

band practice can be whenever.

Hmm. At least she's done with the kazoo.

That was a nightmare for three months.

Well, I hope she's not doing whatever that is all weekend.

I've got big plans.

So excited for flyer making!

- Yeah, um... - Uh...

OK, so about this week...

Uh, well, um...

we know that we're not huge fans of surprises around here.

No, and this is an important time for you with your election,

but we have to go out of town tomorrow.

Surprise.

Seriously?

We're really sorry, honey bear.

But they asked your mom to be the keynote speaker

at the Midwest Tech Summit!

But listen, don't worry,

- because we called... - No.

No, not Aunt Betty.

What's wrong with Aunt Betty?

She always brings cousin Mel!

Nailed it!

Mel!

Listen, they're family, OK?

We know you'll make the best of it.

OK.

Any more surprises I need to know about?

Well, how would you feel about a baby brother?

What?

- We're kidding. - Yeah. We're kidding.

Good morning.

Uh, hi, Zora.

Actually, it's 3:00 p.m.

And most people use the front door.

We've kinda been over this.

I've got something big to tell you.

Did you find another dead lizard?

'Cause I still have the picture you painted me of the other one.

I was listening to my police scanner,

and a bakery truck just tipped over on Highway 83.

That's horrible.

And completely awesome

because the truck was full of red velvet cupcakes.

They're everywhere.

Let's go scoop 'em up!

Zora, I appreciate you thinking of me.

And red velvet is my favorite, but...

I have a schedule to stick to.

Of course. You're always busy.

No time for fun.

My life is very fun, thank you.

Time to reload printer.

Right.

I'll go by myself.

Hey!

- You hear something? - Anybody out there?

Help!

Hey!

This shed's been abandoned for years.

Get me out of here!

My dad's at work.

Maybe we should get your parents?

- Come on! - Can't.

They left this morning for a convention,

and my aunt Betty won't be here for another hour.

Hello?

Did you ever see the movie Creepy Shed?

No.

And can we not talk about creepy sheds right now?

♪ Don't go into the creepy shed ♪

♪ Or you could end up dead ♪

Uh, Zora...

are you holding my hand?

I'm just making sure you're good.

- You're good. - Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Ooh!

I get the feeling we shouldn't touch that.

- No, I'm gonna push it. - Zora, don't!

This happened in Creepy Shed 4!

Layne! Here I come.

Are you OK?

- I think so. - Sorry.

Home school teaches independent thinking.

- Eh. - I see a button, I push it.

So where are we?

- Oh, my gosh! - Whoa!

Man.

Look at this place.

We've been living next to a secret underground workshop.

Hello.

Hello.

Mr. Screamy Guy!

Hold on.

Go ahead.

What took you so long?

The car just talked to us.

Hello, futuristic speaking car!

Hello, shouting jammies girl!

My name's VIN. That stands for Vehicle Integrated Neurotech.

It's like... this thing is alive.

Alive and ready to party.

OK, there's gotta be a logical explanation to this.

Good. What is it?

I have no idea.

OK, while you're thinking about it,

mind poppin' my boot off?

Man, it's itchy!

Aah, so itchy!

OK, well,

Futuristic Talking Car,

uh, it's been a pleasure meeting you.

But we really shouldn't be in here.

Uh, Zora, let's go.

Hold on! You can't leave me down here!

Who knows when they'll be back to unlock me.

- Who's "they"? - The dudes who built me.

They don't tell me anything.

I've heard about this.

Dudes hiding secret cars in abandoned sheds.

It's a thing.

It's not a thing.

Oh, it's totally a thing.

OK, I'm calling my parents.

Oh, come on, just unlock my boot!

- So. - Call going

- to voicemail. - Do you have a tongue in there?

Yeah! What's a tongue?

Mom. Dad.

Something really weird is going on at the neighbor's.

It's, uh...

It's kinda hard to explain.

Call me back as soon as you can.

Love you. Bye.

All right, I'll make you two a deal.

Pop off my boot, and I'll take you both for a cruise.

We can't drive. We're 12.

Jam-Jams, I got you covered.

I'm a self-driving car. And I'm dying to check out

this carpool lane I keep hearing about.

- Who's in? - He could take us to the cupcake truck.

Oh, I'm down. My processor needs experiences.

That's how I learn stuff. Let's wing it!

We're not wingin' it!

- She's not a winger. - Zora, it's a car.

You don't owe it an explanation.

Uh-oh.

What's "Uh-oh"?

My solar panels haven't charged my CPU.

Battery dangerously low.

Need... sun.

Layne, we gotta do something.

VIN's dying!

Please. Hurry.

Black lever.

Zora, don't! It could be a trick!

Woo-hoo! Ha-ha.

Gotcha!

Did not see that coming.

Next stop, carpool lane!

I hear it's super exclusive.

Now come on. Hop in.

No way!

I'm not gonna be responsible for letting you out.

We're shutting you down.

Aww!

Really?

Take a look at this.

Where's the key?

Where's the steering wheel?

Key? Steering wheel?

Please. You're inside the most sophisticated car in the world.

Watch your hands.

Buckling up. It is the law.

Cue tire squeal!

Hello, ramp. Goodbye, ramp.

Oh, it's a beautiful day!

And look at this sweet asphalt.

OK.

This is crazy.

I know, right?

Totally.

Car, VIN, whatever your name is,

Please turn around right now.

I'm missing flyer making,

and, and my Aunt Betty is gonna be here in...

21 minutes!

If I'm not home, she's gonna be so upset.

So I'll have you back in 19!

Promise.

Just relax and enjoy the ride.

Hey!

We're 12 and we're driving!

Uh, she means the car is driving!

It's all very safe.

We are safe, aren't we?

Yeah. Of course.

Probably.

I'm gonna look away now.

Nice pumpkin, Cinderella.

Pumpkin?

Uh, VIN, why are you revving your engine?

This guy wants to race.

He probably wants to beat me to the carpool lane!

Ain't gonna happen, Ponytail!

What'd you say to me?

He said, "It ain't gonna happen, Ponytail!"

VIN, slow down!

I'm a law-abiding citizen,

a hall monitor, a junior volunteer firefighter!

And I'm trying to win a race here.

You're going down, little girly.

Little girly? Excuse me.

VIN, speed up!

My pleasure.

Who's the little girly now?

Come on!

- Woo-hoo! - Yes!

That was exhilarating.

Yeah. I blew his doors off.

Totally!

Now pull over. I-I gotta barf.

Aah! Not on the seats.

Aunt Betty and annoying Mel

arriving in 15 minutes.

Thank you, Alonzo.

Wow! Alonzo.

"Arriving in fifteen minutes.

I am a dork."

Love to party with that guy on a Friday night.

You know, you're pretty childish, but your programming is amazing.

What were you built for?

To be honest, they won't tell me.

But I've got a feeling it's really big.

What's going on here?

Uhh, nothing.

Nothing at all.

You're Layne Reed. I was at your speech yesterday.

A sixth-grader running for school president...

that's cool.

Thanks. Just trying to make a difference.

So what is going on?

Because from over there, it looked... like you were talking to the car.

Talking to a car?

That's a good one.

Only a weirdo would talk to a silly car.

OK.

I'm more into classic cars, but... is this self-driving?

This is amazing

Gracias, amigo.

Yes, uh...

Gracias for checking on me,

amigo.

But really, everything's fine here.

So much better.

I feel for who's gotta clean up that bathroom, though.

Cody! Clean the bathroom. Quickly!

Wait a minute, Granpa, I'm looking at the car, please.

My gramps. He's a sweetheart.

If you ever need help with this car, guys, let me know.

I gotta go, but...

you can call the shop.

I don't do cell phones.

This car is great.

Speaking of caliente...

he just gave you his el numero!

It's the shop's el numero.

So he's a cutie. Whatevs.

Let's get back on the road.

OK, next stop,

cupcakes!

Next stop home, Zora.

I'm way off schedule.

Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt,

but I'm getting the feeling that we're in danger.

- Why? - My danger light's flashing.

Oh! That's gonna bruise.

This is why I don't wing it!

Come on, go, Riggins. Faster.

Hit 'em again.

Hang on! I ran into these guys yesterday.

They chased me all through town. It was a mess.

That was you? You ruined my speech!

Oh, I ruined a lot of things.

A quinceanera. Two weddings. A funeral.

I have no idea what they want.

Well, I got a bone to pick with you.

Oww!

But first, get us out of here!

I'll try.

Faster, Riggins. Faster!

You sit, I'll drive.

- Ooh! - Coming through!

- On your left! - Aah!

Now on your right!

This is... oh no!

- Truck. Truck! - VIN!

I see it! Excuse me, truck!

Over there. Go!

Go 'round! Aah!

I said around, not aah!

Looks like we're in the clear.

Yeah.

I think we lost them, guys.

♪ That girl gotta work ♪

It's my Aunt Betty! Duck!

VIN, get us out of here!

I'm too young for this much stress.

Uh, guys, I think I'll roll up the windows.

I'm sensing this isn't over.

Ohh!

- They're back! - You are corro... correct.

I think he's shorting out.

Faster!

I'm going.

I'll take three cheeseburgers, a lemonade and...

tanjobi omedetou!

♪ Oh, I've been working on the railro... ♪

Manual override?

Zora, don't touch...

Holy smokes!

- Whoa. - Double whoa!

This is better than TV.

What is happening right now?

I don't know. Drive!

I can't drive. I'm not even allowed to wear heels.

OK, Layne,

no one is steering right now.

Ohh!

I don't think you have a choice!

You're gonna have to wing it!

I told you, I'm not a winger!

OK, Layne, you got this.

You totally got this.

You don't got this.

- The bridge is out! - Well, we can't stop!

We're gonna need more speed.

- There, that one! - Boosters?

Really? But you said don't touch...

I know.

Do it!

All that beautiful tech...

- gone. - Yeah.

Wait, you're still gonna pay me, right?

Right?

That... was... incredible!

Yeah.

It was incredible.

Whoa!

I just had the weirdest dream.

VIN, you're back!

I was flying for a while,

then I was a dolphin...

Hey, the carpool lane.

Wait, what kind of pool is this? There's no water.

Oh, I'm an idiot.

Wow, I've got a lot to learn.

Layne ditched the bad guys.

It was totally sweet.

Speaking of sweet...

Whoa, the cupcakes.

What do you say?

We have two minutes to grab some red velvets?

I think I can fit that into my schedule.

As long as we hurry though.

We've got, like, 12 minutes to get home.

- Cupcakes! - Let's do it.

Aunt Betty. Hi.

Sweetie, where have you been?

I was about to call your parents.

Sorry. Upstairs...

studying.

Why are you drenched in sweat?

Intense session.

You know how I get.

Yes. We do.

Anyways, Mama needs an herbal bath and a face mask.

Ta-ta.

- What? - I saw you in that car.

What? Mel, you're paranoid.

I don't know what you're up to.

But I'm gonna find out.

And when I do, I'm gonna crush you.

Nice to see you too, Mel.

New voice mail.

Hi, honey. Uh, we just landed.

Oh, I-I got your message about the neighbor.

Hey, listen, you can ask Aunt Betty

to talk to Zora's dad if she's being too loud.

Oh, uh, uh, we, we gotta go.

We're heading into the conference.

Talk tomorrow. Love you, sweetheart.

That river was fun, but, whoo-eee,

I smell like a trout.

What do you say tomorrow we hit the car wash.

Sorry, VIN,

but... we've had our fun.

And I've had enough surprises for a lifetime.

Aww, man, come on.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to get VIN to transform.

Denied?

Why won't this hand scanner work for me?

That's weird.

Whoa!

I'm even more awesomer than I thought!

Layne,

look.

DNA recognized?

Why are you connected to this car?

I have no idea.

- Next time on Fast Layne... - Whoa! You're huge!

I'm here to figure out why you have my DNA

so I can get back to my life.

It's my ECU.

I only have six hours before my entire brain gets wiped.

I'll lose everything.

Great. Now I have to come up with $350.

I know how to get the money.

I can get paid to drive?

Why did no one tell me this?

We are not doing that.

And we're doing that.

Ah, please make it stop!

Here we go!