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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,544 BARBARA: Oh, my God! Why?! Why did you do this?! 2 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,546 - I didn't mean to! You kept telling me to pull harder! 3 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,174 - I didn't mean to break me, you dumb piece of shit! 4 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,968 Now Dan is definitely gonna know you snooped! 5 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,679 - Did you... 6 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,306 - What? 7 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:15,807 - Did you fucking do that on purpose? 8 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:17,851 - Wha...? Oh, my God, Cody. 9 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,896 Why would I have you break me on purpose? 10 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,564 So that Dan would come home from work 11 00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,107 and realize you're a crazy, jealous bitch 12 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,110 and break up with you, and then we'd live happily ever after? 13 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,947 [laughs] Yeah, I did it on purpose. 14 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,949 - Well, great plan, man. 'Cause now you're all jacked up, 15 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,576 so he might break up with me, but he's gonna throw you away, 16 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,869 so you fucked both of us. 17 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,704 - Have you met Dan? He doesn't care. 18 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,915 For him, it's just another hole to fuck. 19 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,462 ["Little Hypocrite" by Alice Bag playing] 20 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,634 You're seriously going to all this trouble to keep Dan? 21 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,844 Why? 22 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,888 - 'Cause I love him? - [laughs] "Love him." 23 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,099 How do you fucking know you love him? 24 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,684 - I don't know, man, I ju... 25 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,978 Like, I don't know, we fart in front of each other. 26 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,230 We... both like to watch movies with the subtitles on. 27 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,232 Whatever. - Wow, wow, that sounds super deep. 28 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,693 - Fuck off, Barbara. You know, you call yourself a feminist, 29 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,486 but you hate other women. - What? 30 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,904 No, I love other women. 31 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,281 I just hate you. 32 00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,782 - But you are me! 33 00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:15,993 - No, I'm not. I'm not you. Ugh! 34 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,705 Phone, play "Doll Parts" by Hole. 35 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,249 ["Doll Parts" playing] Yeah, I fucking love this song. 36 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,876 [turns off music] - Okay, see? 37 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,460 You just proved my point a-fucking-gain. 38 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,880 We're the same person. I love this song. 39 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:29,798 You sound different to me, 'cause I'm going fucking crazy, 40 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,550 but in reality I'm just sitting in my car, 41 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:33,302 having a conversation with myself, and I just told 42 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,220 my phone to play "Doll Parts" by Hole, so... 43 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:37,306 ["Doll Parts" playing] Goddamn it. 44 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,641 [turns off music] - You know what? You are the shitty feminist. 45 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,894 I hear you doing all types of, like, rape roleplay, 46 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,563 you twisted little bitch. - Okay. That, you know... 47 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:47,983 Roleplay, like... that's a consensual... 48 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:51,028 And-and a woman can be submissive in bed 49 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,948 and, like, not be, like... - "Ooh, Daddy, it hurts! 50 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,451 Daddy, I'm Cody. Ooh, it hurts." - Okay. 51 00:01:57,534 --> 00:02:00,913 All right. When we do that, it's, you know... 52 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,957 it-it is a fictional roleplay universe... 53 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,501 You know what, whatever, man. It doesn't mean 54 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,419 I want to fuck my real dad. - Wow. Okay, 55 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,838 I didn't actually think you wanted to fuck your real dad 56 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,757 until you just said that. Now I'm like, 57 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,967 oh, my God, you want to fuck your real dad. 58 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,636 Is he, like, hot or something? 59 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,222 - You're so annoying. - [laughs] I'm annoying? 60 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,891 Dan and I had a good thing going and we were super happy, 61 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,768 and you came and you screwed everything up! 62 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,436 Ugh! We all know you're just dating Dan 63 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,021 because he's, like, a genius writer, 64 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,856 and you're hoping it'll somehow rub off on you. 65 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,316 But it won't... - ♪ They really want you ♪ 66 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:31,610 ♪ They really do ♪ 67 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:36,490 ♪ Yeah, they really want you ♪ 68 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,825 ♪ They really want you ♪ 69 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,244 ♪ And I do, too. ♪ 70 00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:41,828 BARBARA: I want a green juice. 71 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,914 - Oh, that's too bad, 'cause you're plastic. 72 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,083 - Your hands are clammy. 73 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,001 Ow! You're hurting me! 74 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,670 - Oh, no. 75 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,172 - You're such, like, "mean mom" vibes. 76 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,467 Oh, my God, Cody. 77 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:58,345 Don't look now, but look now. 78 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,972 Don't look now, but look now. 79 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,139 The redhead. 80 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,725 She's fucking disgusting. Ew. 81 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,227 Girl, you're looking gorgeous. 82 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,312 Keep rocking that wig. 83 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,398 [tapping desk bell] - Hello? 84 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:12,109 - [laughs] Bet he's totally jerking it back there. 85 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,986 - Who? - The repairman. 86 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:16,321 - How do you know it's not a repairwoman? 87 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,031 - [sputters, snorts] 88 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,659 You're so cute. You're so, like, of the moment. 89 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,787 I really am gonna miss you when Dan breaks up with you. 90 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:26,415 ♪ He's jerkin' off, he's jerkin' off ♪ 91 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,750 ♪ He's jerkin' off in the back of the store. ♪ 92 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:30,169 - Hey. Sorry about that. 93 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,837 I hope you weren't waiting long. 94 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,172 Did you hear anything? 95 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,965 - See? I told you. - Excuse me? 96 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,509 - No, I was just in the back making a repair to a doll, and I 97 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,262 was wondering if you heard the sound of me making the repairs. 98 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,723 - See? - Yeah, I didn't hear anything, so, you know, 99 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,767 for the future, like, you don't have to ask that question. 100 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,769 - Oh. A lesson learned. 101 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,897 I am Stu. How can I help you? 102 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,441 - Yeah, I just need to get that fixed. 103 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:55,277 - Yikes. That is nasty. 104 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,820 - You're nasty, dicklick. 105 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,363 - You know, actually, I think it would be faster 106 00:03:58,447 --> 00:03:59,781 and cheaper just to get a new one. 107 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,825 - What? No, no, it's, um... 108 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,203 it's my boyfriend's, and he can't know about this, 109 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,039 so, you know, it would have to look exactly like her, 110 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:10,667 and I know she's, like, a... special one-of-a-kind order. 111 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,087 - Wait, that one? - Yeah. 112 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,174 - No, no. That's a Kayla. - A what? 113 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,343 - That's a Kayla. That's a standard midrange model. 114 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,886 - That's not true. - They discontinued those years ago 115 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,180 due to lack of interest. - No. He's a fucking liar. 116 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,807 - Shame. - I'll tell you what, we have a bunch of 'em still in stock. 117 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:27,643 Maybe you just get a new one. They're on sale. 118 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,145 - Great. - What? - Although... 119 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,981 I'm just thinking about your situation. 120 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,233 - What's wrong? 121 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,609 - I don't know, it's just... 122 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,486 she's really worn out. 123 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:38,904 I think your boyfriend is 124 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,280 definitely gonna notice the difference. 125 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:41,782 Would you mind if I...? - Please. 126 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,325 - Okay, this is just... - Great. 127 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,493 BARBARA: Ow! 128 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,495 Okay, guys, my tits are chilly in here. 129 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,497 If anyone happens to have a light cardie. 130 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,040 STU: See, silicone isn't that different 131 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,291 from flesh, really. 132 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,252 Like, time just takes its toll. 133 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,254 - Yeah. - Look at these fingers right here, can you see these? 134 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,505 These are sort of... - Oh, Jesus. 135 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:57,965 - Yeah, they're kind of melty. - Gross. - Melty? 136 00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,883 No, no, no. - Yeah, well, you know, this is the thing, 137 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,094 they're only really designed to last ten years, 138 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:03,679 and so if you do the math, she's a MILF. 139 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,973 - Fuck off, Stu. - But... 140 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,891 too old, too old to be a mother. 141 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,560 So I guess, like, a GILF or something. 142 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,854 - Okay, I'm actually unable to conceive naturally, so the fact 143 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:14,731 that you'd even bring that up around me is very triggering. 144 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,316 - Let me get serious here for a second. 145 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,235 Let's take a look. - Ew. What is he doing? 146 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,279 - Okay. - Oh, my God! Ew! Get out of there, perv! 147 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,657 - We got stage five vaginal stressing. 148 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,076 - Okay, Cody, look, I know we never established a safe word, 149 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,453 and that is totally my bad-- we absolutely should have talked 150 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,873 about it-- but, like: safe word. 151 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,041 - Left labia completely blown out. 152 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:35,419 - Okay, Cody, we can stop now. - Now, the hair is easy, 153 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,087 because we can just... - I'm actually really starting to freak out. 154 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,422 Oh! My beautiful hair! 155 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,883 - Yeah. Pops right off. Easy peasy. 156 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,302 - [ Barbara sobbing ] - Yeah, we just pop that on to a new doll, 157 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,470 'cause their wigs, they come with a much higher quality 158 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:48,098 of hair, and he would definitely notice something like that. 159 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,267 - [crying] Oh, Cody, please... 160 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,894 - Right. Okay. 161 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,896 - Now, take a look at the face here. 162 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,480 See these cracks? 163 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,608 These are called compression tears. 164 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,401 They just happen over time. 165 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,153 - Right. - Look, I'm just 166 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,780 spitballing here, but maybe we can take a rolling chair, 167 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,657 and we roll it over the face 168 00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,827 of the new one, back and forth and back and forth, until... 169 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,454 we can match this cracky face. 170 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,289 But don't you think your boyfriend 171 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,291 would prefer a new model? 172 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,543 I mean... just look at her. 173 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,338 She's useless. 174 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:20,714 - [Barbara sniffles] 175 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,133 [beep] MAN [over speakers]: Stu. 176 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,260 Could you report to the loading dock? 177 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:26,970 The new anuses just arrived. 178 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,805 - Nice. 179 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:33,810 [somber music playing] 13963

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