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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,925 BARBARA: Good morning. 2 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,928 Oh, I'm starving. 3 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,846 What's for breakfast, bitch? 4 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:15,641 Ooh, you look rough in the morning. 5 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,602 - [gasps] 6 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,145 Ah. 7 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:21,563 [truck beeping outside] 8 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:22,981 [sighs] 9 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,944 [toilet flushes] 10 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,571 Babe, I had the weirdest dream. 11 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,615 DAN: Huh? 12 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,700 - Yeah, I was, like... 13 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,543 [intriguing music playing] 14 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,763 DAN: Hey, babe? 15 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,182 - Hmm? - What you up to today? 16 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,600 - Nothing. 17 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,769 - Want to come to my ADR session? 18 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,232 [indistinct chatter] 19 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,484 [laughter] 20 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,154 DIRECTOR: All right. That's a wrap. 21 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,990 I think we're all set here. - MAN: Sounds good, Jason. 22 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,658 I'll get the stems uploaded 23 00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,160 to the FTP and ship 'em off to Editorial. 24 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,371 SIMONE: Rick and Morty is literally my religion. 25 00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,290 I wanted to do a voice since season one, 26 00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,292 and my agents were all like, "Oh, but we got you 27 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,419 this part as this hot girl, and she doesn't know it." 28 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:26,837 [scoffs] Who needs that? 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,381 Oh, and I have to say, that apology 30 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:32,593 you gave about crossing romantic boundaries in the workplace? 31 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,636 So beautiful. - DAN: Thank you. 32 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,972 SIMONE: Um, I actually talked about it on my podcast. 33 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,184 I, uh, have a podcast about, uh, Jungian archetypes 34 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,894 in the world of cosplay. 35 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,188 Oh, uh, could I grab a hot water with some lemon? 36 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,898 You made me scream so loud on that last take. 37 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,107 - Oh, no, this is my girlfriend Cody. 38 00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:48,442 - [Simone gasps] - Hi. 39 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,235 - Oh, my God. Hi! - Hi. So nice to meet you. 40 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,237 - Oh, I'm so embarrassed. - No, not at all. It's fine. 41 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,572 I can... - Forget I said anything. 42 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,115 - Cody's a writer, too. - Oh, wow! 43 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,909 - No, not like Dan. - Oh, two legends at work? 44 00:01:56,992 --> 00:02:00,579 Is that what that is? - No. No. Um, I can get you the water, um... 45 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,581 - No, no, no. Please. - I'm happy to do it. - What are you doing? 46 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,416 - It's totally fine. - I can get the... - Tell her to stop. No. 47 00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:09,213 [distant chatter] 48 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,552 [sniffles] 49 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:20,265 [whimsical music playing] 50 00:02:28,941 --> 00:02:29,942 - Bean? 51 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,944 - Huh? 52 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:32,945 - You okay? What happened? 53 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,321 You've been gone for, like, ten minutes. 54 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,198 - Oh, shit. Yeah, I'll just 55 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,199 bring it to her right now. 56 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,325 - Oh, no, she left already. 57 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,118 - Oh. 58 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,079 - You bummed you couldn't valet her car? - Shut up. 59 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,580 - I bet you she has some dry-cleaning 60 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,207 she'd like you to pick up. - Don't. 61 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:48,168 Stop. I was just trying to be nice. 62 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:49,545 - Are you okay? 63 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,923 - Yeah, um, you know, I think 64 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,925 I left my, um, computer charger at your house. 65 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,760 Is it cool if I go grab it? 66 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,929 - Oh, yeah. I, um... 67 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,639 I have a spare key. 68 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:03,100 - Okay, cool. I'll just... 69 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,311 [suspenseful music playing] 70 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,531 [music intensifies] 71 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:27,666 ♪ 72 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,143 [laughs softly] 73 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:48,478 - Psych! 74 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,480 - Oh, what the fuck?! - [chuckles] 75 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,774 - Fuck, man! Shit! 76 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,151 - I knew you were gonna come back here, being like, 77 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,694 "Was that a dream? Was that drugs?" 78 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,154 I was like, "I'm gonna prank this bitch." 79 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,822 Did you see me? I was like... 80 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,033 - Stop. Stop! That freaks me out! 81 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,701 [laughs, snorts] 82 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,913 - Oh, my God. Your face is so stupid. 83 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,289 - You suck, dude. - You suck. 84 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,874 - You suck. - You suck. 85 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,667 You ready to do this? 86 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,503 - What? 87 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,838 - My pussy. I've got, like, years' worth 88 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,381 of Dan's pole milk congealed up in there. 89 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,133 - Okay. Okay. 90 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,510 Okay. 91 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:20,928 This isn't real. 92 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,554 [whispering]: You're not real. 93 00:04:22,638 --> 00:04:23,555 - [whispering]: I'm real. 94 00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,474 - But... 95 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,434 the yeast infection I could get is real, 96 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:31,063 so I'm just gonna... do this. 97 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:32,689 BARBARA: Oh, I love baths! 98 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,733 I love how at first, it feels like they're so hot, 99 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,109 and you're like, "I'm gonna fucking die. 100 00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,736 It's like my skin's gonna crawl off." 101 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,280 And then it gets kind of cold and it's just heaven. 102 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,661 [clicks tongue] Oh, it's 'cause you saw my perfect body, huh? 103 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:47,371 - What? 104 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,040 - Why you're in such a bad mood. 105 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,042 - No. No. 106 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,794 - Is it because you're scared Dan's gonna cheat on you 107 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:56,213 with the redheaded actress from that nerdy podcast 108 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,257 who's like a way less hot version of me? 109 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:02,135 - No. Barbara, I'm in a bad mood, 110 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:04,513 because I'm having a fucking nervous breakdown. 111 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,515 My boyfriend's sex doll is talking to me. 112 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,183 - Okay. I don't know if you're trying 113 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,143 to diminish my self-worth by calling me a sex doll, 114 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,812 but I have news for you, babe. 115 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,356 We're all sex dolls until we topple the patriarchy. 116 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,817 - Great. That's great. You're a feminist sex doll. 117 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,569 - Yeah. I am. Yeah. 118 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,237 I've read The Feminine Mystique, so, yeah. 119 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,531 - No, see, no, you haven't. 120 00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,116 You're just me. 121 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:25,826 You're not your own person. 122 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,244 And I haven't read The Feminine Mystique. 123 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,620 I just pretend that I've read it 124 00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,205 when it comes up in conversation. 125 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,499 So you can't have read it. - I have read it. 126 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,585 - Tell me one thing about it. Tell me one thing. 127 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,003 - You know what, Cody? I'm not gonna sit here 128 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,380 in a bath in my peaceful time for me 129 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,507 and justify myself to a crazy person, okay? [ringtone playing] 130 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,259 I mean, you've got a dark cloud energy. 131 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,636 Oh, my God, is it Dan? - No, it's my agent. 132 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,430 - He's, like, a real estate agent? 133 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,265 - Hello. - WOMAN: Hi, Cody. 134 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,934 I have Jason Levy for you. - Who? 135 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,270 - Hey, Cody, I'm Jason. I'm your new agent. 136 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,938 - Okay. What are you...? 137 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,481 - Yeah, I don't know if you heard or not, 138 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,983 but, uh, Bryan Chang got MeToo'd. 139 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,443 He's no longer with the company. 140 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,904 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 141 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,947 So I've taken over his roster, the whole roster, 142 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,407 and, uh, it looks like you owe us 143 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,618 a new spec pilot for staffing season? 144 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,620 - Oh, yeah. I'm... I'm... working on... 145 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,996 I'm kind of halfway through... 146 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,414 more than halfway through this thing. 147 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,249 It's, like, you know, 148 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,585 the-the tooth fairy, but she's also a stripper. 149 00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,670 You know, because both jobs, like... 150 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,297 'Cause dollar bills. 151 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,840 - You know, honestly, uh, 152 00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:23,300 you're a female writer. 153 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,093 It doesn't have to be that good. 154 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:26,970 - Really? - Oh, not at all. 155 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,889 - Not sure how to feel about that. 156 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,641 - Ah, feelings are good. Put those in there. 157 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,434 We need more female voices. 158 00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,144 - Okay. - I can't wait to read it. 159 00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:35,479 Oh, sorry. Bad connection. Bye. 160 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,773 [beeps] 161 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,818 - Oh, my God. 162 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,112 - Oh, my God. Your agent was MeToo'd? 163 00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,114 - Yeah. Shit. 164 00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,408 - Babe, I'm so sorry. That's crazy. - Right? 165 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,577 - Oh, my God. You want to talk about it? 166 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,955 You were probably, like, harassed, right? 167 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,414 - No. No. 168 00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,583 - Wait. What? I'm just confused, 169 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:59,336 'cause I thought you said that he was MeToo'd. 170 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,672 Did he, like, whip his dick out at you ever? 171 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,300 - No. I mean, thank God, no. 172 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,302 - So he didn't, like, call you late at night 173 00:07:07,386 --> 00:07:10,264 and say it was for work, but really was just trying to bone? 174 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,850 - No, but I'm-I'm... I mean, I'm sure that's 'cause he, like, 175 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,601 respected me too much as a writer to do... 176 00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,980 - [muffled laugh] I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to laugh, 177 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,606 but, like, it's funny, 'cause, like, obviously, 178 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:22,734 he didn't respect you as a writer or want to fuck you. 179 00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,361 [snorts] 180 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,780 - Is your pussy clean yet? Can we...? Come on. 181 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:28,740 - So, you're a comedy writer. 182 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:30,659 So cool. 183 00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,703 It's just, you haven't made me laugh. 184 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,331 - Well, wasn't trying to. - Well, I'm waiting. 185 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:38,333 [gasps] Oh, Cody, I forgot to tell you. 186 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,127 I'm not just a regular sex doll. 187 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,795 I'm actually a special order. 188 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,297 - That's great, Barbara. 189 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,048 - I know. It's so sweet. 190 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,967 Dan designed me from top to bottom. 191 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,761 I'm, like, his ideal woman. [laughs] 192 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,391 - I make Dan laugh. 193 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,393 - I'm sorry. What? 194 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,103 - I said, I make Dan laugh. 195 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,397 - You do? When? I never hear him laughing. 196 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,191 - I hear you laughing. - [Cody grunts] 197 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,067 - And I guess sometimes I hear, like, 198 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,903 - incidental laughter on his part? - [Cody grunting] 199 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,155 - But then that... No, that was always kind of connected back 200 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:09,823 to whatever his original joke was. 201 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,742 You know what, Cody? Don't feel bad. 202 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,411 Like, I just do not expect you to be as funny as Dan. 203 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,954 Like, he's Dan Harmon. 204 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,956 He's won Emmys and created two hit shows. 205 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,001 You know who else is super funny? His ex-wife. 206 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,961 Back then, I used to live in the basement, 207 00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:26,715 and I swear to God, she was so funny. 208 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,635 Like, I would be like, "Guys, stop laughing so hard! 209 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,053 I can't sleep!" 210 00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,347 They'd be, like, howling. 211 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,681 - Okay, great. Bye! 212 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:37,226 - Wait! Wait! 213 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,603 Babe? Oh, my God, you're stupid. 214 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,647 This isn't how I was positioned. 215 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,065 - So? 216 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,816 - So, Dan's gonna know you snooped, 217 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,318 and then he's gonna think you're a crazy bitch, 218 00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:47,903 and then he's gonna break up with you. 219 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,073 - Okay. Fine. How were you? 220 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:52,699 - My right arm was higher. 221 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,117 Because I had just finished running my hands 222 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,370 through my beautiful hair. No, higher. 223 00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,247 - [grunts] Why are you so hard to move? 224 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,290 - Pull harder. Why are you so weak? 225 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,125 Harder! - I'm trying. God. 226 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,460 - Oh, we get... [screaming] 227 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,004 - [both screaming] - Fuck, shit! 228 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:07,548 - It hurts! 229 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,091 CODY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 230 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,926 BARBARA: Is my arm there? Is it there? 16663

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