Original subtitles

(SNARLING)

(GROWLING)

(LAUGHING)

Agent 51 to control.

Visual is confirmed on the elusive Sasquatch.

Moving to intercept.

-(ENGINE REVVING) -(PANTING)

Target is escaping into the national park.

DISPATCHER: Roger that, Agent 51.

Get over here, you monster.

I have you now.

Huh? Uh-oh.

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMING)

(STRUGGLING)

(CRYING OUT)

(ENGINE REVVING)

Hey, dude, pretty gnarly fall you took back there.

You okay?

(GROANING)

I'm patching her through.

Agent 51, hunting ghosts again, I see.

Actually, Sasquatch isn't a ghost, ma'am. (LAUGHS)

It's more of a--

Because it doesn't exist! (ECHOING)

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

I'll expect to see you bright and early

-(ECHOING) -(CRYING)

No, wait. I'm this close to proving that the supernatural force is real.

Well, unless you come in with proof by Monday morning, you're fired.

Oh!

Bummer, dude. (CHUCKLES)

You should come with me and warm up in the ski lodge, man.

-What about the Loch Ness Monster? -(GROANS)

-You ever seen that? -No.

-No. -Did you ever meet an alien?

Uh, you should come to the Orlock apartments in New Orleans, mister.

My friend Mina lives there and all kinds of wack-a-do stuff is happening.

All the time.

Hmm, weird noises, slime, short-term memory loss.

It's like the side effects on a medicine commercial.

Hmm. New Orleans, you say.

(STRUGGLING)

(STRAINING)

(GROANING)

A-ha!

-(THUDS) -(GRUNTS)

(ALARM BLARING)

(HORNS HONKING)

And as a secret agent from the US super-secret agency,

I'm gonna require you to give me a tour of the premises.

You can't just demand access to a private citizen's residence

without some sort of warrant.

Huh! What, I can't?

We'll start in the cellar and work our way up.

Have you ever seen anything, hmm, unusual in this building?

Unusual? Sure.

Just look at all this crazy junk that my daughter and I inherited.

Huh?

(MUSIC BOX PLAYING)

(MUSIC BOX STOPS)

You mean like koala bears?

Well, hmm.

Come on upstairs.

Hmm, we might as well. I don't see any evidence of the supernatural down here.

(STRAINING) Fifty... Two.

And that's all the card-yoga poses I know.

Yes, that is unusual.

MINA:Hey, Dad.

Ah, Mina.

Of America.

Cool! Nice to meet you, sir.

Likewise. I'm in the middle of an investigation, ma'am

I need to know if you've seen anything unusual in this building.

And I already showed him the card yoga.

Hmm. Oh! I have a pet rabbit that can do a really cool trick.

-(GROANING) -Bunnicula!

(EXCLAIMING)

Here, watch what happens when I give him a carrot.

(SHRIEKING HAPPILY)

What?

(SLURPING)

He's not really a vampire of course,

but I named him Bunnicula because he can do that little trick.

-Pretty cool, huh? -(PURRING)

(STUTTERING) I need that rabbit.

Hey! What do you think you're doing?

Ma'am, your rabbit may be the proof of the supernatural

that my superiors have been looking for!

Well, you and your superiors will have to look elsewhere.

-Bunnicula's my best friend and he's staying with me. -Yeah!

Dad, did you check this guy's ID?

Hey, that's a good idea, Mina.

Let's see some ID, buddy.

Um... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)Of course. Oh!

-Is this you? -Ah, don't look at that.

This says your name is Juanita Valdez from Phoenix, Arizona.

That's my cover identity, I am a secret agent, you know.

(DOOR BANGS)

(THUNDER CRACKING)

(SIGHS WEARILY)

Well, Bernie boy, looks like your old buddy is gonna be out of a job by Monday.

Things have just never been the same since you ran away those 20 years ago.

DISPATCHER: (LAUGHING) Oh, man.

-Control? -Yeah, sorry, agent, you are hilarious.

-Thanks. -Yeah, no problem.

Look, man, you operate outside the law.

If you want someone's rabbit, just take it.

Yes, time to hunt some wabbit.

(THUNDER CRACKS)

Not even any clouds.

(LAUGHING)

Hurry, Dad. We're gonna be late for the movie.

I love a good spy thriller.

(LAUGHING) Yes, that's it.

Whoa, nice suit, Mr. G-man.

Yes, it is.

Uh, I guess he didn't hear me. (GRUNTS)

Oh, it's wabbit season, all right.

I don't know what you are, but I know you're one weird rabbit.

I'm gonna get you, bunny, and then I'm gonna get my job back.

And then I'm gonna get all the supernatural critters.

Then we're gonna do experiments on you, yes.

Medical experiments on all you supernatural... Ah!

You sleep just like my Bernie.

AGENT 51:Wake up, Bernie.

Come on, Bernie. Let's go shoot some hoops.

(GASPS) Bernie!

(TEARFULLY) Bernie!

-Awkward. -Wait, for Bernie or for... I'm so confused.

(WAILING) Bernie!

Oh, this is hard to watch.

Well now, this is a little much, even for me.

(SOBBING)

(WAILING) I can't have Mina lose you.

Like I lost my little Bernie boy 20 years ago!

Jeez, even I got over it

Oh. (SNIFFLES)

Farewell, little bunny.

(GROANS)

All right.

Huh?

What? Uh-oh!

Help!

-(CAR ALARM BLARING) -(GROANS)

Wow, he really seemed to love his pet Bernie.

I wish there was something we could do to help him keep his job.

(GIBBERISH)

Maybe there is.

Mmm.

RECEPTIONIST:Uh, ma'am, Agent 51 is here to see you.

Send him (SHOUTING) in!

(ECHOING)

(GULPS)

(SIGHS)

Huh?

How did that get in there?

Hmm. All right.

(SIGHS DEJECTEDLY)

(MUSIC BOX PLAYING)

(AGENT 76 SCREAMING)

Agent 51! You're re-hired!

AGENT 51:Yes!