Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNARLING)

(LAUGHING)

MINA: ♪ This is to the haters, I say YOLO

♪ I'm sippin when I drink hot cocoa

♪ Multimillion dollar meetings At the disco

♪ You see me shut 'em up Or I say, "Polo!"

♪ And when you see me, you'll see I'm perfect

♪ And if you do not see it, get your eyes checked

♪ You got 98 problems, but I ain't got one

(MUMBLING) ...something fun.

♪ We are the future but we here right now

♪ Supercomputers Can't boss us around

(ALL SINGING LYRICS)

♪ But we're here at our house So we skip the bow ♪

ALL: Ooh!

All right, that was some primo karaoke, ladies.

Five-minute water break and then it's time

for my solo of Give Me All Yo Booty.

Oh, I love that song!

Ugh, you would. So over-rated.

This karaoke machine is so unbelievably awful.

I mean, is this what the kids are listening to these days?

Life's not all about dancing around,

being millionaires with perfect butts!

It's about pain and struggle and primal fear.

-Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. -Oh, I don't know about that.

-(BEEPING) -Here, check this nonsense out.

Girl, You Am A Billionaire.

(READING)

(RETCHING)

(CONTINUES READING)

Oh, my gosh! It's got The Rotten Awful Blues.

Oh, my gosh! Is it contagious?

No, The Rotten Awful Blues is the quintessential blues song

about rottenness and awfulness. It's amazing!

What are you doing, Chester?

I'm just making a few minor adjustments

-to the karaoke machine. -(BEEPING)

(LAUGHING)

All right, round two. Here we go.

(BEEPING)

Hey, something's wrong with the machine.

Oh, dear!

Nothing will come up except this song called

The Rotten Awful Blues.

Ugh, it's so slow. Is that, like, one bpm?

Where's the rap solo?

-(BEEPING) -I can't change the song.

But I think I can up the tempo a bit.

Oh, and you can add another beat track

with the Beat-O-Matic button.

-(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) -Wait, what are they doing?

All right, this is sounding pretty good now.

I might give it a try.

♪ Woke up with the sun and I fell out of bed

♪ Well, it wasn't much fun, got a lump on my head

(RETCHES) I bet Rusty Bones is spinning in his grave right now.

♪ Tripped on my trombone and I stepped on a rake

♪ Burned my hand on the stove and I ruined my cake

♪ I paid my dues but life keeps kicking me till I get bruised ♪

(CREAKS)

(SNORING)

(ALARM BELL RINGS)

(MINA GASPS)

Whoa!

(GROANING) Ow!

-(SNIFFING) -I'm okay!

I'm okay. (CHUCKLES)

Ugh. So, somehow the blanket got tied around my foot,

then I got a pretty good bump on my head. (WINCING)

But that's all right. I know just how to fix it.

Time for "Ponytail, the Sequel."

DAD: Mina, you're going to be late for school.

MINA: Sorry, couldn't find my homework.

I'll just do it again on the bus.

Whoa!

Nice recovery, Mina.

MINA: I wonder whose trombone that was.

BOTH: Ooh!

Poor Mina, she's having a pretty rough day.

Well, the good thing is it can only go up from here.

CHESTER: Yeah, I guess.

It's not like she's cursed or anything, right?

Yeah, you're silly. (CHUCKLING)

MINA: Happy Birthday!

(SING-SONG) Happy day of birth.

Happy day that you joined the world. Happy Birthday!

Mina, what happened to your hand?

Oh, this? Yeah, the oven got really hot and burned my hand a little bit,

but you know, I'm all right.

(TOOTING) Oh, I thought all the screaming was because

you were excited that it was my birthday.

Hey, Chester, we're going to get some of that cake, right?

I wouldn't hold your breath, dude.

Well, I really want cake

so Imma hold it just a little bit.

(INHALES)

All right, Dad. Close your eyes and make a wish.

Eyes are closed and I wish...

Uh-uh-uh! Don't tell me what it is or it won't come true!

DAD: Ah, well, good point, good point.

Okay, wish made. (INHALES)

(TOOTING)

Wow! I wished for superpowers and...

Well, I think I got them.

Oh, my gosh. That's great, Dad!

Only in America.

(SNORING)

(BABBLES, MIMICKING BLUES SINGER)

♪ Bom-bom bom-bom

(CONTINUES SINGING GIBBERISH)

♪ Bom-bom bom-bom

(MICROPHONE FEEDS BACK)

♪ Bom-bom bom-bom

(GIBBERISH)

♪ Bom-bom bom-bom

All right, all right, all right. That's enough of this.

You guys are doing it totally wrong.

If you want to sing the blues, you gotta feel it.

-Comprende? -No, I think it's Saturday.

All right, here we go.

-Blues 101. -(MUSIC PLAYS)

-♪ Woke up with the sun -HAROLD: ♪ Bom-bom...

No, none of that, please.

♪ And I fell out of bed

♪ Well, it wasn't much fun

♪ Got a lump on my head

Hey, weird. Mina just fell out of bed.

She got a lump this morning.

Come on, Harold, you should be feeling, not talking.

♪ On my trombone

♪ And then I stepped on a rake

♪ Burned my hand on the stove

-♪ And I ruined my cake ♪ -"And I ruined my cake"?

Oh, my gosh! Oh, no, no, no!

(SOBBING) Please, please, no.

Why is this always happening?

-(BEEPS) -(SOBBING)

Whoa, Chester, you really do feel the Blues.

(SOBS)

I guess I just don't get it though, 'cause I really don't feel anything.

Well... Gassy! I feel sort of gassy.

No! Don't you fools see?

Every single lyric in The Rotten Awful Blues

is something that happened to Mina today!

She's being haunted!

(BABBLING)

Oh, yeah! If Mina already hit her head and burned her hand

and ruined the cake and stuff, maybe the haunting's over!

Rusty Bones had a really hard life.

This is all petty stuff. But later in the song,

his wife leaves him at the altar,

he gets arrested for crimes he didn't commit,

and he gets mauled by a bear!

We just have to hope this is all a coincidence.

(GASPS)

(STAMMERING) Rusty...

Bones!

(SCREAMING)

Oh! Hello, Rusty Bones' ghost!

Hey, I got to say.

Hey, I heard y'all down here singing my song

on your crazy future machine.

And do you know how that made me feel?

Super-awesome, am I right?

Yup! You kids are the bee's knees!

Makes me feel like you really understand the blues.

(WHIMPERS) You're really the ghost of Rusty Bones?

On the level.

(SQUEALS) Oh, my gosh, Rusty Bones!

I can't believe this, you're my hero! But also...

(SCREAMS) You're a ghost!

Now, now, pussycat. I ain't going to haunt you.

(BABBLES)

Yeah, thanks. That's super nice of you.

Yup. I only haunt people who make a mockery of the blues.

Ruin my songs.

Like that creepy little girl upstairs.

I'm haunting the heck out of her!

All right, you have a wonderful evening.

Wait, Mr. Bones, can I ask you for a small favor?

Anything you want, kitty-cat.

Would you sign this limited-edition copy of your first album?

Of course, I would.

Let me get my ghost pen.

Ow! And, uh, while you're doing that,

could you please not haunt our friend Mina anymore?

Yeah, I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you.

I can't help you there.

If I leave that little girl alone, she's going to grow up

thinking life's all about people dancing around,

being millionaires with perfect butts.

And it's not!

It's about pain and struggle and primal fear.

Everything in The Rotten Awful Blues happened to me.

And now, I'm gonna make sure it happens to your friend, Mina.

(GASPS) You can't do that to Mina.

(MUTTERS AND SNARLS)

Well, I suppose you can try to stop me if you want to, little bunny.

But remember, life's a big bag of garbage,

waiting to kick your friend in the face.

Better she learn now.

All right, y'all. Have a wonderful evening.

Rusty Bones' ghost has been out there all night.

What's he waiting for?

(LAUGHS)

The lyrics to the next verse go,

"Well, I managed to survive A bee sting to the nose.

"But then I tripped on the beehive

"and I broke all my toes."

BOTH: Oh, no!

He's going to use those bees to sting Mina.

Bunnicula, you got to stop him.

(BUNNICULA BABBLING)

(BUNNICULA GROWLS)

(BUZZING)

Huh? What's going on out here?

Cool, bees. Oh, wait.

(SCREAMING) Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ooh.

(SCOTT READS)

(MINA COOING)

(BABBLES)

Yeah, what's the next verse?

Ugh. "A bear ate my homework, Got trapped out in the rain

"And that bear was a big jerk

"'Cause he clawed out my brain."

Uh, let me guess. There's a bear behind us.

-(BEAR GROWLS) -Yup.

Oh, wait. He's going!

(ROARING)

-He's back. -(BABBLES)

(CHOMPING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(ROARING)

(BABBLING)

(GIGGLING)

(ROARING)

Rusty, you gotta stop this!

No way! That little girl has confusticated me.

I don't think that's a real word but technically,

everything "confusticates" you. And me!

We're blues men! But Mina, she's like the opposite of the blues.

Everything you're doing to her, no matter how horrible,

it's just making her happier.

(GASPS) She's unbreakable!

What? That's impossible.

(GROWLS)

Yeah, thanks, Marcia. The cast is pretty cool.

What, bad luck? I don't know about that.

I mean, life's an adventure.

You're right. That girl is unbreakable.

I hate it so much, Imma go write a song about it.

In fact, I think I got enough "confustication" to make a whole new album.

Hey, bear! Come here.

Oh, hey, hey, Bunnicula, man. Good fight, good fight.

Uh, you got my number?

Okay, give me a call sometime. We'll hang, we'll hang.

(BABBLES)

RUSTY: ♪ Well, there once was a girl

BEAR: ♪ Bom-bom-bom bom-bom

RUSTY: ♪ Just living her life

BEAR: ♪ Bom-bom-bom bom-bom

RUSTY: ♪ And uh, Something else... Life

BEAR: ♪ Bom-bom bom-bom...♪

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)