Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNARLING)

(CACKLES)

Tomato, keep away!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

You're no match for my awesome doggy reflexes, buddy.

-(SCREAMS) -(LAUGHS) Uh-oh.

A knitting needle.

Oh, man, that could really hurt somebody.

(GRUNTS)

(SPITS AND GROWLS)

Yoo-hoo!

No tomato for you!

(BOTH LAUGH)

You say, "Tomato," I say, "No way-o!"

Enough!

Can't a guy ever get any peace and quiet in this house?

(CHOMPING)

Ow! Get off!

(LAUGHING)

Ahhh! Bunnicula bit me!

This is what happens when you guys roughhouse!

Bunnicula bit you?

(GASPS) You know what that means, right?

Oh, I guess it means my violin practice is over.

So, thanks a lot for that!

Oh, hey, my pleasure.

But, no! Even better.

You're gonna turn into a vampire!

What? No, that's not how it works.

Bunnicula drains vegetables.

-Ah! -CHESTER: You're thinking of human vampires.

They turn other people into vampires when they bite.

Bunnicula, will you please tell Harold how you can't actually...

(GASPS)

Oh! He got you good.

-Aw, two vampires in the house! -Huh?

You and Bunnicula are going to be like twin brothers.

Huh?

No! I will never be like Bunnicula,

vampire, or otherwise.

Bunnicula, look at this and tell Harold that your bite

will not turn me into a vampire.

Hmm. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I don't know.

What? You don't know?

Do you really think I'm that gullible?

Ooh. Chester, now you bite me. I want to be a vampire too.

Harold, you're delusional.

And Bunnicula, you're not gonna trick me into believing that, uh...

(STUTTERING) And furthermore...

You're not getting into my head!

I did that for Bunnicula, sun's coming up.

HAROLD: (ECHOING) Vampire! Vampire! Vampire!

Ugh. Me?

Turning into a vampire?

-Please, how would any of this be possible? -(PHONE BEEPS)

PHONE: It sounds like you have asked a question.

-How can I help? -(SIGHS)

These things understand cat now?

Phone, how can I tell if I'm turning into a vampire?

(PHONE BEEPS) Have you been bitten by a vampire?

Well, yeah. I mean, a vampire rabbit,

but that doesn't really...

Congratulations, you are indeed turning into a vampire.

-Ow. Ow. Ow. -Wait, what?

There are five steps you will experience

during this exciting transition in your life.

The first step is denial.

No, I am not in denial, you dumb phone. I'm not.

I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

You worthless piece of junk!

(PHONE BEEPS) The second step is anger.

-(CHESTER SCREAMS) -(GLASS SHATTERING)

All right, let's take a look.

(GRUNTS)

Like they say, "The mirror doesn't lie."

Hmm.

Chester? Is that you?

(CHUCKLES) I had barely even recognized you.

You're changing quicker than I thought.

Oh, hey, Harold. Uh...

-Are you ironing? -I don't know.

Is that what they call this game?

I see Mina's dad doing it, like once a year, so...

Come on, Harold, level with me.

Can you honestly say I look like a vampire?

Sure I can.

You just need to accessorize a little more.

Oh, and...

-Voila! -Ugh.

All right, I'll tell you what, I'll make you a deal.

I'll jump off of this ironing board

and if I can suddenly fly, it'll prove that I'm a vampire

and I'll admit I was wrong and that you were right.

But if I don't fly, you gotta drop this whole thing

and leave me alone. Got it?

(PHONE BEEPS) The third step is bargaining.

Ready? (GRUNTS)

(SIGHS) What the...

Uh, Harold?

-What's happening? -Told you.

CHESTER: Oh! What's happening now?

It's your reflection, it's disappearing.

(GASPS) Vampires don't have reflections.

Oh, my gosh!

If this is true, I'll never see another sunrise!

I'll lose the taste for fine foods.

Left only to draining vegetables.

(GASPS)

I'll be no different than Bunnicula!

No!

(WAILING)

-This is the worst thing ever! -(PHONE BEEPS)

Step four, depression.

(BUNNICULA HUMMING)

Well, well, well, look who it is.

Turns out your bite really did turn me into a vampire.

Huh? What? Yay!

What? No! Don't be happy for me. This is terrible!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Bunnic says that being a vampire is the coolest thing in the world.

(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

Whoa, Bunnicula's scrapbook.

Look at all these super old pictures from his life.

(GASPS) He's gotten to ride in all of these cool old ships.

(GASPS) Fly in all these cool old planes.

(GASPS) See all those cool old people.

(BUNNICULA SPEAKS GIBBERISH)

HAROLD: He says, that with your brand-new vampire life,

you'll get to see new technology

and galaxies be discovered,

medical breakthroughs, read every book ever written!

By golly! You're right! It's gonna be amazing.

-I am a vampire! -(PHONE BEEPS)

PHONE: The tablet next door gets a thinner case

and suddenly she thinks she's all that.

Oh, when the next generation comes out,

I promise you she... (CLEARS THROAT)

The fifth and final stage is acceptance.

(HUMMING)

-Ahhh! Ugh! -Oh, hey, Bunnicula.

I see you've found my vegetable draining attempts.

See, my fangs still haven't come in yet.

So, I'm just trying to make do for the time being.

(SUCKING)

(SIGHS)

I think these carrots just might be your thing.

I've been experimenting to see if other vegetables are more my speed.

Ahhh!

Maybe, I'm more of a fruit-draining vampire.

You know, watermelon can be classified as a fruit or a vegetable.

(CHUCKLES) Go ahead, Chester, have a bite.

Oh, Harold. What are you doing?

I told you, I wanna be a vampire with you guys.

-Come on, bite me. -I'm not gonna bite you.

Come on! Please?

Come on, you can do it. Open up the hatch.

Oh, Harold, you don't deserve this cursed life.

The cruel destiny of the undead, trapped forever!

-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH) -What's a drama queen?

(CACKLING)

Aw, you watching this old one again?

Look, Bunnic, as a new generation vampire,

I gotta tell you, these old vampire movies seem a bit corny.

Let me bring you up to speed on the new stuff.

(SCREAMS)

-Hey, you're sparkly. -Yeah.

-(SPEAKS GIBBERISH) -I know, right?

You gotta love all the seduction and staring.

Ha! Looks like we both have a little something to teach each other.

Huh, old timer?

(GASPS) Harold?

(IN A HIGH PITCHED VOICE) Uh, no, this is Bunnicula.

Have a bite of this popcorn, it's really good.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(SIGHS)

-CHESTER: Nighty night. -(GASPS)

Sleep tight, dear brother of the night.

BUNNICULA: Get out!

PHONE: To purchase a one way ticket to Siberia for your annoying cat,

please press one.

-Bunnicula, I need you. Vampire emergency! -Ahhh!

I need you to perform a ritual for me.

It's my fangs, they're still not growing in.

I found this spell book called Fast Fangs and Other Spells.

-I think this might be the solution to my problem. -Huh?

All right, come on, come on, come on. Get reading.

All right.

(CHANTING IN GIBBERISH)

(WIND WHOOSHING)

(GASPS) It's happening! It's happening, I can feel it!

-Keep reading, Bunnicula. -(CHANTING CONTINUES)

Come on! Hit me with those killer fangs, baby!

(GASPS)

Nothing! Bunnicula, what's the problem?

Are you even reading the right spell?

I don't know.

(BOTH GASP)

(GRUNTS)

Ahhh! What is that thing?

CHESTER: Wooden stakes, garlic necklace,

official-looking vampire hunter T-shirt?

Bunnicula, you summoned a vampire hunter?

Huh? (SCREAMS)

-(GASPING) -(HORSE NEIGHS)

Bunnicula, come back!

Well, Chester, luckily you always know what to do

in times of fight, or flight.

Flight!

Huh? (SCREAMS)

Ahhh, my cape's caught!

Why does this feel vaguely familiar?

(STRAINING)

Why am I not flying?

(GASPS) My reflection, it's back.

-(ROOSTER CROWING) -Ahhh, the sun!

No, no, no! It burns!

It... It... It's not burning.

All my vampire-ness is suddenly gone.

Ah, the vampire hunter isn't a threat anymore.

Well, Chester old boy, looks like everything is gonna turn out just...

-(CAPE RIPS) -(GASPS) Uh-oh.

-(SCREAMING) -MAN: Ta-da-da.

Hello, V-neck T-shirt season.

(SCREAMS) Oof.

Ahhh! Oh, you've got it all wrong, mister.

You don't want me.

I can't fly! I have a reflection! I'm out in the sun!

I'm not a vampire.

(WAILING) I'm not a vampire!

(SLURPING)

Huh?

Duh! I know you're not a vampire, Chester.

What? Harold, you're the vampire hunter?

You were the one who told me

Bunnicula's bite would turn me in the first place.

I know, you and I were playing, right?

But, man, would it have killed you to bite me at least once?

Next time, you gotta be the vampire hunter.

I wasn't playing!

I've been manipulated by a certain you-know-who.

-(PANTING) -CHESTER: Bunnicula!

You've finally gone too far this time!

You did something to make me a vampire and then you took it away,

-and it almost got me pulverized. -Hey, Bunnic.

(GROWLING) Hey, Bunnic.

Ahhh!

Huh? I didn't do anything.

He swears he never did anything to you.

Wait, so if he didn't know what his bites would do,

then how are you the only person

that knew his bites had no effect.

That's a good question.

(GASPS) Oh, yeah.

Bunnicula always grinds his teeth in his sleep,

usually on my toes. (CHUCKLES)

Totally slipped my mind. Whoopsies.

This is insane.

I did not convince myself all on my own

that I was a real vampire.

I'm not delusional and I'm not paranoid!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need some sleep.

My internal clock is all messed up, thanks to you two.

Yeah, you seem like you need a little nap.

-Nighty night. -Good night.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

(ECHOING) Bed bugs bite. Bed bugs bite. Bed bugs bite.

Bite, bite, bite, bite...