Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNARLING)

(LAUGHING)

(GIGGLING) Oh, man, these ducks are crazy!

Hey, duck brother.

-Hey, man. -Check out this bread.

(QUACKS) I love to eat the bread.

(WAILING)

God.

I feel so sad all of a sudden.

(SOBBING)

What the...

(PURRING)

(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)

Okay, okay, okay.

This bread is awesome!

Must be teenage hormones.

(HUMMING)

(WAILING)

Oh! I spilled some milk. (LAUGHING)

(SOBBING)

I'm always making mistakes!

(WAILING)

(SOBBING)

(SOBBING) Who am I kidding?

Nothing can stop the onset of gingivitis.

I don't even have teeth.

(ALL SOBBING)

Right there. Right to the left.

(SIGHING)

Oh, that felt good.

(SIGHS) That made me thirsty.

Ugh. No, Harold.

You have a water bowl downstairs.

There's no need for you to stick your face in the toilet.

(WAILING)

Do you know what toilets are for?

Do you want everyone to think you're a savage beast?

(SOBBING)

You think I'm a savage beast!

Whoa! That must have struck a nerve.

I've never seen Harold cry before.

(RUMBLING)

Why do I have to be so critical?

Ah!

(WAILING)

Ah.

Alligator in the bathroom!

Alligator, alligator... Bathroom.

Harold. There's an alligator, in the bathroom!

-(GASPS) -What are you doing?

I'm using my tears to make mud

and I'm sculpting the mud into clothes

to make me look more civimalized.

But even in this gentleman's attire,

I still look like a savage beast!

-(SOBBING) -Hey, what's that?

I don't know what it is, but it's beautiful.

I'll use it as my gentleman's broach.

Um, Harold. It's actually a fishing lure.

Even with all this fancy attire,

I'm still just an uncivilized dog.

I'm just a pig!

Get a hold of yourself, Chester. (SOBBING)

The sun is setting.

Bunnicula.

He'll help me with this alligator.

(SOBBING)

Psst. Hey, Bunnicula.

-Wake up! -(GROWLING)

-Ah! -Oh. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) Hi.

You've gotta help me. There's a ghost alligator in the house!

-Ha! -I'm glad that excites you.

Oh, golly.

(SOBBING)

Oh, this is bad.

Bunnicula.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(WAILING)

-Hmm. (SPEAKING GIBBERISH) -Bunnicula, we gotta hurry.

We're going to drown in our tears. (SOBBING)

(GROANS) This is clearly caused by something supernatural.

Ah! A-ha!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(RUMBLING)

(WAILING)

Well, hello there, little bunny.

Will you be able to help a big old alligator

like myself?

You see,

this is my favorite dangly earring.

The one that goes on this side of my head

got sucked down the drain. (SOBBING)

And without the pair,

I'm just a big old, ugly alligator.

I've been traveling all through this apartment's plumbing

looking frantically for my other shiny earring.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(SOBBING) Thank you, honey-child.

Oh, my gosh! That's the same fishing lure Harold was wearing.

It's like they're two halves of the same whole,

never to be reunited. (SOBBING)

Unless, I mean, we take it away from Harold,

but, well, he hates me enough already.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

You think you can help me?

-Ew! -(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I don't know if I'm crying out of sadness or terror anymore.

(SOBBING)

Oh, I've cried myself thirsty

and I'm going to drink right from this toilet,

because I'm a savage beast!

(SOBBING)

(GASPS) Oh!

I'm hideous!

I'm a monster!

Who could ever love a three-eyed dog?

I'm running away from home.

Goodbye, house.

(SINGING GIBBERISH)

Hey!

(SADLY) I never wanted to drown in my own tears.

But I really didn't want to drown in anyone else's. Oh!

-(SOBBING) -Harold?

-(SOBBING) -Wherefore art thou, Harold?

I knew it, he hates my guts.

(GASPS) He ran away.

Harold!

Harold, I'm sorry!

(SOBBING)

I'm a monster.

This is my new home.

TED'S WIFE: Ted, what's going on out there?

Uh, um, there's a really big dog

and he seems to be crying.

Well, tell him to keep it down!

Um, hey, my wife, she would like it if you could keep it,

like, down, you know, quieter cry.

-Sorry. -No, I'm sorry.

(WHISPERS) I'll cry quieter.

Wah.

TED'S WIFE: Tell him, quieter!

Harold, where are you?

Harold!

Ah!

-Huh. -Hey, little rabbit.

-(GROWLING) -Where do you think you're going?

-(GROWLING) -Your friend stole our garbage can.

You know what we do to animals that steal our garbage cans?

-Nah. -(SCREAMING)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(PANTING)

Ah!

(SCREAMING)

Harold? Harold! It's me, Chester!

-(SOBBING) Huh? -Hi.

Bunnic... Whoa!

Hey, hey, hey, honey. I scared the dog away.

TED'S WIFE: (STERNLY) Good! Now get in here and rub my feet!

Harold, help! Harold, help, I can't swim!

Hold on!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I know what to do. I saw this on TV once.

-(BLOWING) -(AIR WHEEZING OUT)

Chester! Speak to me, Chester!

Harold, you saved me.

I almost drowned.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)

You should really be careful the next time you go swimming, okay?

I wasn't swimming, Harold.

-I was looking for you. -You were?

Why?

I'm just a big, dumb savage beast with a hideous third eye.

-What? -(SOBBING) No, no. I belong under that bridge.

No, no, you're not a monster.

You're my best friend.

But I treat you like a monster because I'm an insensitive dirt bag.

Oh, man. I love dirt.

But it doesn't mean that I don't love you.

Even though you're a messy eater,

and you smell,

and you bark at nothing.

And I got too many eyes.

Whatever, Harold, whatever.

You're like the brother I never had,

except for the six or seven other brothers that I actually have.

Without you, I'm incomplete.

Like a half sandwich?

Mmm-hmm.

-Okay, I'll go home. (SOBBING) -Okay.

I love you guys so much!

Okay, buddy.

Let's go home.

(SOBBING) I'll never find my beautiful earring.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

What? (GASPS) My earring!

(WATER DRAINING)

Oh, my gosh. I've stopped crying!

Hurray! It's over!

(SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY)

Huh? Why was I so sad?

Wow.

Newspaper comics have gotten really depressing.

Oh, in all my years! I am beautiful again.

Oh, however can I thank you boys?

You never needed the earrings.

You were always beautiful.

Aw, you think I'm beautiful?

Yup, and I'm so glad you came out of our beautiful toilet.

But wait,

I don't know how to get back to the bayou.

(SOBBING)

Oh, what ever can I do?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Whoo!

Ooh, ooh, ow!

Well, this is the way to the bayou.

Bye-bye.

Way to flush away sadness, Bunnicula.

-Now everything can finally get back to normal. -Yeah.

Let's have a mega-big, super hug.

Ew, no! I said back to normal.

-Now go clean yourself up, you big, muddy goon. -Okay. You got it.

(SLURPING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)