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My name is Ash,
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and I am a slave.
3
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Close as I can figure it the year is 13000 AD
and I'm being dragged to my death.
4
00:00:58,612 --> 00:01:00,113
It wasn't always like this.
5
00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:03,825
I had a real life... once.
6
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A job.
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Amm.. Hardware, out 12.
Shop smart, shop S-Mart.
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I had a wonderful girlfriend...
9
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Linda.
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Together we drove to a small cabin
in the mountains.
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It seemas that an archeologist
have come to this remote place
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to translate and study
13
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his latest find.
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Necronomicon Ex Mortis.
The Book Of The Dead.
15
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Bound in human flesh
16
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and inked in blood.
17
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This ancient Cimmerian text contained
bizarre burial rights,
18
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Funerary incantations and
demon ressurection passages.
19
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It was never ment for the world of the living.
20
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The book awoke something dark in the woods.
21
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It took Linda.
22
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And than it came... for me.
23
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It got into my hand and it went bad.
24
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So I lopped it off at the wrist.
25
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But that didn't stop it.
26
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It came back.
27
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Big time.
28
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For God's sake, how do you stop it?! NO!
29
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ARMY OF DARKNESS
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Subtitles provider:
Sibirski
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Where the hell...
32
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Wow... now... easy now chief.
33
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Amm... I don't know how I got here,
34
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and... amm... I'm not looking for any trouble.
35
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What a piece of armor is this?
36
00:04:36,329 --> 00:04:37,621
Wiseman!
37
00:04:43,211 --> 00:04:48,174
Mu lord, I believe he is the one
written of in the Necronomicon.
38
00:04:47,173 --> 00:04:53,053
He who is prophesized to fall from the heavens
and delier us from the terrors of the Deadites.
39
00:04:52,345 --> 00:04:54,513
What? That bafoon?
40
00:04:56,390 --> 00:05:00,143
Likely, he is one of the Henry's men!
41
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I say to the pit with him!
42
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To the pit!
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You miserable bastard!
44
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Get off of me!
45
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All right men, you've got something to look forward to...
46
00:05:58,536 --> 00:06:02,623
Lor Arthur approaches! Raise the port!
47
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Lord Arthur!
48
00:06:52,089 --> 00:06:54,007
Where is my brother?
49
00:06:53,632 --> 00:06:55,467
Did he not ride with you?
50
00:06:55,092 --> 00:06:57,677
Aye!
51
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And fought valiantly. Last night
he fell in to Duke Henry's men.
52
00:07:01,599 --> 00:07:04,977
I'm sorry Sheila.
53
00:07:05,519 --> 00:07:10,523
Stop it you bastards! Barbarians!
54
00:07:21,869 --> 00:07:26,748
Stop it! Stop it you little brat!
55
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Thou art a murderer! Black murderer!
56
00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:38,010
My brother's death shall be avenged!
57
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Company pull!
58
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Kill him! Into the pit!
59
00:08:12,377 --> 00:08:15,880
You sir, are not one of my vassals.
60
00:08:17,090 --> 00:08:19,592
Who are you?
61
00:08:19,384 --> 00:08:21,886
Who want's to know?
62
00:08:22,179 --> 00:08:30,145
I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands
and leader of its people.
63
00:08:29,561 --> 00:08:32,355
Well hello mister Mr. Fancypants.
64
00:08:33,023 --> 00:08:40,572
I got news for you pal, you ain't leadin'
but two things now: Jack and shit.
And Jack left town.
65
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:41,573
Shut your mouth!
66
00:08:41,615 --> 00:08:44,117
Gentleman, lord Arthur!
67
00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:56,545
There is an evil awakened in this land,
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00:08:55,629 --> 00:09:00,467
and while my people fight
to their very soul against it,
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00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:02,343
you Henry the Red, waged war on us!
70
00:09:02,552 --> 00:09:10,601
-Charlatan! It was you who raised your swords on us.
71
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And this evil is fought my people as well!
72
00:09:12,479 --> 00:09:16,274
Your people are no better than the foul corruption
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that lies in the bowels of that pit!
74
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May God have mercy on your souls.
75
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God's name, what hell lurkes there?!
76
00:09:46,346 --> 00:09:50,808
Aye. Into the pit with the bloodthirsty sons of whores!
77
00:10:30,890 --> 00:10:35,769
-Heavenly God!
-He's escaping!
78
00:11:19,522 --> 00:11:24,902
Wow! Holt it! Wait a minute...
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00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:26,320
You gotta understand
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00:11:26,738 --> 00:11:30,074
I've never even saw these assholes before!
81
00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:39,417
Henry, you gotta tell him you don't know me.
82
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We never met. Tell 'em!
83
00:11:43,629 --> 00:11:46,548
I do not think he'll listen, lad.
84
00:11:47,884 --> 00:11:52,763
Look, I'm telling you. You've got the wrong guy.
85
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Spikes.
86
00:13:30,945 --> 00:13:32,946
Ay, he said spikes, give him spikes.
87
00:13:47,211 --> 00:13:49,671
Make way!
88
00:13:49,171 --> 00:13:50,881
Strange one!
89
00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:04,310
Strange one!
90
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Damn you. Damn you.
91
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:57,215
You know, your shoelace is untied.
92
00:16:07,642 --> 00:16:10,144
Alright,
93
00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:13,273
who want some?
94
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,817
Who's next?
95
00:16:15,484 --> 00:16:18,320
Huh? How 'bout it?
96
00:16:19,196 --> 00:16:21,698
Who want some?!
97
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,617
Huh? Who want's to have a little?
98
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,456
You!
99
00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:33,042
You want some more?
100
00:16:36,797 --> 00:16:39,299
You want a little?
101
00:16:42,177 --> 00:16:44,721
Do ya? Want some more?! Huh?!
102
00:17:00,528 --> 00:17:04,823
Now get on those horses and get out of here.
103
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,412
Let him go!
104
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,020
-Halt!
-Thank you generous hosts!
105
00:17:37,774 --> 00:17:39,942
Swordfight!
106
00:17:47,117 --> 00:17:52,288
For that arrogance I shall see you dead.
107
00:18:01,589 --> 00:18:07,219
Yeah. All right you primitive screwheads! Listen up!
108
00:18:07,762 --> 00:18:10,639
See this?!
109
00:18:10,139 --> 00:18:15,644
This is my BOOM-STICK!
110
00:18:15,144 --> 00:18:20,691
12 gauge double-bareled Remington,
S-Mart's top of the line.
111
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,528
You can find this on sporting good's
department.
112
00:18:23,528 --> 00:18:27,490
That's right this sweet baby
was made in Grandrappids Michigen.
113
00:18:26,823 --> 00:18:30,243
Retails are about 109.95$
114
00:18:29,784 --> 00:18:35,873
It has a wallnut stock, cobalt blue steel
and a hear trigger.
115
00:18:35,123 --> 00:18:38,584
That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart!
116
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,797
YOU GOT THAT!
117
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:53,474
Now I swear, next one of you primates,
even touches me...
118
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:24,713
Now, let's talk about how I get home.
119
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,874
I pray thee to forgive me, my lord.
I believed thee one of Henry's men.
120
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:06,963
First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.
121
00:20:10,384 --> 00:20:13,845
So, what's the deal? Can you send me back or not?
122
00:20:13,387 --> 00:20:18,975
Only the Necronomicon has the power.
And a holy book which we also require.
123
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:23,230
Within its pages are passages,
that can send you back in your time.
124
00:20:22,229 --> 00:20:26,441
Only you the Promised One can quest for it.
125
00:20:26,108 --> 00:20:30,070
I don't want your book, I don't want your bullshit,
126
00:20:29,278 --> 00:20:33,031
just send me back to my own time, pronto, today ch...
127
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:46,253
You shall die!
128
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:55,471
You shall never taim the Necronomicon!
129
00:20:55,346 --> 00:21:01,935
We shall feast upon your souls!
130
00:21:22,206 --> 00:21:25,959
It's a trick. Get an axe.
131
00:21:39,264 --> 00:21:41,766
Oh my eyes! I'm blind!
132
00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:52,569
Yo she-bitch!
133
00:21:53,404 --> 00:21:55,906
Let's go.
134
00:22:17,302 --> 00:22:20,471
If the Necronomicon falls into the hands of Deadites,
135
00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:23,392
the whole mankind can be consumed by this evil.
136
00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:26,102
Now, will thou quest for the book?!
137
00:22:38,865 --> 00:22:41,450
That one.
138
00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:10,563
Groovie!
139
00:23:22,409 --> 00:23:26,162
What's the matter? Raised in a barn?
Shut the door.
140
00:23:38,091 --> 00:23:41,886
The wiseman says thou art the Promised One.
141
00:23:45,015 --> 00:23:51,563
It is said thee will journey for the book to help us.
And thou will lead our people against the evil.
142
00:23:50,770 --> 00:23:55,733
Only reason I'm going to get the book is to get home...
143
00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:03,032
I believe thou will be leaving in the morning.
144
00:24:02,532 --> 00:24:04,700
Don't touch that.
145
00:24:04,284 --> 00:24:08,371
Your primitive intelect wouldn't understand
alloyes and composition and...
146
00:24:07,537 --> 00:24:16,587
things with molecular stucture and...
What are you doing here, anyway?
147
00:24:16,796 --> 00:24:22,343
I want to say that all of my hopes
and prayers go with thee,
148
00:24:21,259 --> 00:24:23,761
and I made this for thee.
149
00:24:24,429 --> 00:24:27,306
Good, I need hors' blanket.
150
00:24:49,329 --> 00:24:52,832
Gimme some sugar baby.
151
00:25:32,872 --> 00:25:34,915
What? What is it?
152
00:25:34,499 --> 00:25:43,633
This path will lead you to an unholy place, a cemetery.
There a Necronomicon awates.
153
00:25:45,343 --> 00:25:50,139
When thou retreves the book from its cradle
you must recite the words:
154
00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:52,933
Clatoo, Verata, Nicto.
155
00:25:52,934 --> 00:25:55,144
Clatoo, Verata, Nicto. OK.
156
00:25:55,895 --> 00:25:58,397
Well, repeat them.
157
00:25:58,356 --> 00:26:00,649
Clatoo, Verata, Nicto.
158
00:26:00,650 --> 00:26:01,734
Again!
159
00:26:01,526 --> 00:26:06,239
I got it! I got it! I know your damn words alright?!
160
00:26:05,488 --> 00:26:08,449
Now you get his straight, both of you!
161
00:26:08,032 --> 00:26:14,204
If I get that book, you send me back.
After that I'm history.
162
00:26:54,036 --> 00:26:56,204
What is it boy?
163
00:29:33,487 --> 00:29:35,989
Ready, aim, fire!
164
00:29:44,665 --> 00:29:47,918
Oh, ough, you lousy little...
165
00:30:55,068 --> 00:30:57,528
What a horrible nightmare. Oh God!
166
00:30:57,988 --> 00:31:00,615
I can't move!
167
00:31:43,992 --> 00:31:49,747
OK little fella. How 'bout some hot chocolate? Huh?!
168
00:31:58,798 --> 00:32:02,009
How'd you like a taste of that? How'd you like a...
169
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:24,282
Oh dear God, it's growing bigger!
170
00:32:41,007 --> 00:32:44,468
I'm bling. I'm blind.
171
00:32:53,853 --> 00:32:56,355
Where are you taking me?
172
00:33:03,613 --> 00:33:06,115
What are you?
173
00:33:05,740 --> 00:33:08,242
Are you me?
174
00:33:07,909 --> 00:33:10,411
I'm bad ASh.
175
00:33:09,911 --> 00:33:14,290
And you're good Ash. Little goody two-shoes!
176
00:33:43,444 --> 00:33:49,950
Good, bad... I'm the guy with a gun.
177
00:34:48,718 --> 00:34:54,306
That'll teach ya. That'll teach ya.
178
00:34:55,015 --> 00:34:58,268
You shall never retrev the Necronomicon!
179
00:34:57,893 --> 00:35:01,396
You'll die in the graveyard before you get it!
180
00:35:01,355 --> 00:35:05,484
Hey, what's that you got on you face?
181
00:35:06,235 --> 00:35:09,071
I'll come back for you!
182
00:36:39,870 --> 00:36:42,372
Three books?!
183
00:36:45,584 --> 00:36:48,086
Wait a minute. Hold it.
184
00:36:48,253 --> 00:36:51,839
Nobody said anything about three books.
185
00:36:53,133 --> 00:36:55,093
Like... like what am I supposed to do?
186
00:36:54,927 --> 00:36:59,598
Take one book, or all books?
187
00:37:58,323 --> 00:38:00,825
Or... or what?
188
00:38:56,923 --> 00:39:01,844
You... I'll get back to you.
189
00:39:06,015 --> 00:39:08,851
Well, it seems fairly obvious.
190
00:39:11,771 --> 00:39:16,275
Ouh, wait a minute... the words... rght, right, right.
191
00:39:16,234 --> 00:39:18,778
Say the words.
192
00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:24,450
CLATOO...
193
00:39:23,950 --> 00:39:25,910
VERATA...
194
00:39:25,535 --> 00:39:28,037
N...
195
00:39:33,710 --> 00:39:39,006
Nicty, Nictor, Nicle...
196
00:39:46,431 --> 00:39:49,725
It's an "N" word. Definitely an "N" word.
197
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:06,701
CLATOO, VERATA, N@$#*%^!...
198
00:40:18,838 --> 00:40:23,759
OK than. That's it!
199
00:40:33,436 --> 00:40:38,816
Hey, wait a minute. Everything's cool.
200
00:40:38,524 --> 00:40:41,193
I said the words!
201
00:40:40,651 --> 00:40:45,447
I did! No!
202
00:40:51,871 --> 00:40:56,041
You people seek cover!
203
00:40:56,542 --> 00:41:02,464
Seek your children!
204
00:41:02,632 --> 00:41:06,177
Something's wrong! Something's amiss!
205
00:42:15,538 --> 00:42:18,666
I'll crush you, I'll mash you, you bony things...
206
00:42:44,233 --> 00:42:48,695
I'm threw being their garbidge boy. I did my part.
207
00:42:47,820 --> 00:42:51,532
Now I want back. Like in the deal.
208
00:43:02,543 --> 00:43:07,047
I live...
209
00:43:07,798 --> 00:43:10,926
... again!
210
00:43:19,435 --> 00:43:25,649
Hey, the Promised One! The Promised One has returned!
211
00:43:36,952 --> 00:43:39,704
He is the Promised One!
212
00:43:39,997 --> 00:43:42,332
He brought the Necronomicon!
213
00:43:44,543 --> 00:43:48,588
Yeah, great, great. Fuck out of my face.
214
00:43:54,219 --> 00:43:59,807
The Necronomicon quickly. Did you bring the Necronomicon?
215
00:43:59,391 --> 00:44:03,061
-Yeah, it's... it's just that...
-Just what?!
216
00:44:03,604 --> 00:44:06,440
Nothing. Here.
217
00:44:12,529 --> 00:44:15,281
Now send me back, like in the deal.
218
00:44:15,574 --> 00:44:20,078
When you removed the Necronomicon from the cradle,
did yopu speak the words?
219
00:44:20,412 --> 00:44:24,124
-Yeah, basically...
-Did you speak the exact words?
220
00:44:23,373 --> 00:44:29,420
Well maybe I didn't say every single tiny little syllable,
no, but basically I said them, yeah.
221
00:44:28,211 --> 00:44:36,677
Damn thee fool! Thou has doomed us all!
When thee spoke the words the army of the dead awoke!
222
00:44:35,260 --> 00:44:37,887
Now, wow,wow right there spinach-chin.
223
00:44:37,346 --> 00:44:43,685
You said that you can clean this mess up, once you got that book.
224
00:44:42,434 --> 00:44:45,228
You said there's a passage in there that can rid this
thing and send me back.
225
00:44:44,644 --> 00:44:50,191
It's true. The book still posesses the power to send you back,
but to us... It is useless!
226
00:44:49,107 --> 00:44:56,155
The evil has a terrible hunger for the Necronomicon!
And it will come here, to get it.
227
00:44:55,197 --> 00:45:01,661
We had a deal. You wanted the damn book, I got it for ya.
228
00:45:00,368 --> 00:45:03,037
I did my part now you send me back!
229
00:45:02,579 --> 00:45:09,627
Very well. As we are a men of our word
we shall honor a bargain.
230
00:45:09,377 --> 00:45:13,714
The Wiseman shall return you to your own time.
231
00:45:13,381 --> 00:45:15,216
Yeah?!
232
00:45:15,717 --> 00:45:17,468
We thought he was the One.
233
00:45:17,135 --> 00:45:20,555
Yeah, right, cause that was the deal.
234
00:45:19,846 --> 00:45:24,684
When do you think we could... start with all the... thing in a...
235
00:45:28,355 --> 00:45:34,194
-When do you think we can start with all the... ceremony and...
-Wretched excuse for a man!
236
00:45:36,029 --> 00:45:39,657
The Wiseman was a fool to trusted you.
237
00:45:40,367 --> 00:45:42,994
I knew he couldn't be trusted.
238
00:45:45,705 --> 00:45:48,124
I still believe that thou will help us.
239
00:45:48,291 --> 00:45:51,711
Oh, Sheila, don't you get it?
240
00:45:51,044 --> 00:45:57,175
It's over. I didn't have what it took.
241
00:45:57,759 --> 00:46:00,261
So long.
242
00:46:03,807 --> 00:46:10,271
But what of all the things we share?
What of all the sweet words that you spoke in private?
243
00:46:11,815 --> 00:46:16,694
Oh, well that's just what we call pillow-talk, baby. That's all.
244
00:46:16,152 --> 00:46:19,446
It was more than that.
245
00:46:19,489 --> 00:46:22,575
I still have faith in thee.
246
00:46:22,117 --> 00:46:26,538
I still believe that thou will stay and save us.
247
00:46:31,417 --> 00:46:33,752
I... Covard.
248
00:46:55,817 --> 00:46:58,027
Help me!
249
00:46:58,444 --> 00:47:01,029
Sheila!
250
00:47:12,709 --> 00:47:16,254
Hold your arms you'll hit the girl!
251
00:47:26,681 --> 00:47:28,557
Damn you!
252
00:47:46,743 --> 00:47:52,165
Dig damn you! Dig faster!
253
00:47:51,748 --> 00:47:54,750
I shall command every wormy flesh son of a bitch...
254
00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:57,753
-...that ever died in battle.
-Thank you sir!
255
00:47:59,380 --> 00:48:02,132
-You there hansom me now!
-Aye my leash!
-We shall strong their castle and get my book!
256
00:48:09,015 --> 00:48:16,731
Welcome back to the land of the living.
Now pick up a showel and get digging!
257
00:48:17,523 --> 00:48:20,525
Bring on the witch!
258
00:48:31,245 --> 00:48:33,872
Gimme some sugar baby!
259
00:48:39,128 --> 00:48:44,216
Boy, aren't you a sweet little thing?
260
00:48:43,215 --> 00:48:46,927
Don't touch me you foul thing.
261
00:48:46,427 --> 00:48:48,762
Come on.
262
00:48:48,554 --> 00:48:52,140
That's it.
263
00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:55,727
We've got planes for you valley girl! Move!
264
00:49:11,911 --> 00:49:16,498
The scout approaches!
265
00:49:23,506 --> 00:49:25,883
-Arise.
-My lord.
266
00:49:25,424 --> 00:49:29,052
An army of the dead is gathering in the wilderness,
and approaches the castle.
267
00:49:28,302 --> 00:49:32,055
-How far from here?
-'Bout two days ride.
268
00:49:32,932 --> 00:49:36,852
-Perhaps we should flee as soon as possible?
-We'll be safe in the mountains.
269
00:49:36,185 --> 00:49:40,647
It is written Arthur! It is been fortold!
270
00:49:39,772 --> 00:49:44,151
-It'll take our souls!
-We will die!
271
00:49:45,653 --> 00:49:53,994
Go ahead and run! Run home and cry to mama!
272
00:49:53,327 --> 00:50:04,087
Me, I threw running! I say we stay here and fight it out.
273
00:50:02,378 --> 00:50:08,133
Are all men from the future loud mouth braggarts?!
274
00:50:06,966 --> 00:50:12,262
Nope. Just me baby. Just me.
275
00:50:12,638 --> 00:50:17,100
How we'll fight an army of the dead at
our castle's walls?
276
00:50:17,101 --> 00:50:19,061
How will you fight that?
277
00:50:17,810 --> 00:50:19,478
More words?!
278
00:50:19,478 --> 00:50:24,733
Most of our people had already fled. We are but 60 men.
279
00:50:24,817 --> 00:50:27,819
Than we'll get Henry the Red and his men to fight with us.
280
00:50:33,367 --> 00:50:35,243
Now, who's with me?!
281
00:50:49,216 --> 00:50:50,842
I'll stand by ya.
282
00:50:53,345 --> 00:50:56,097
You can count on my steel.
283
00:50:55,889 --> 00:50:58,308
I'll offer up my courage.
284
00:50:57,850 --> 00:51:00,352
And me!
285
00:51:26,169 --> 00:51:28,713
Well my dear...
286
00:51:28,213 --> 00:51:31,424
say hello to the boys.
287
00:51:43,770 --> 00:51:50,776
I may be bad, but I feel... good.
288
00:51:50,235 --> 00:51:53,821
-Who rules?
-You my lord!
-You sir!
289
00:51:53,113 --> 00:51:56,950
To the castle!
290
00:53:17,447 --> 00:53:21,951
They are comming! The Deadites approach!
291
00:53:38,551 --> 00:53:40,928
There's so many damn of 'em.
292
00:53:43,848 --> 00:53:50,563
Maybe... just maybe my boys'll
stop 'em from taking the book.
293
00:53:54,192 --> 00:53:59,780
Yeah, maybe I'm a Chinese jet pilot.
294
00:54:33,272 --> 00:54:36,817
On the battle-station! Get those rocks on the double!
295
00:54:36,109 --> 00:54:38,486
Ready the catapult!
296
00:54:38,027 --> 00:54:40,988
By God let's give them one for!
297
00:54:48,788 --> 00:54:52,583
Company halts! Company halt!
298
00:55:44,844 --> 00:55:49,014
-Bing on the scout!
-My Lord, we have position on both fronts.
299
00:55:49,015 --> 00:55:52,560
-Fine, fine, fine... Where are they keeping my book?
300
00:55:51,392 --> 00:55:55,145
There my Lord, beyond the wall.
301
00:55:54,395 --> 00:55:56,897
That would be the most likely place.
302
00:55:57,606 --> 00:56:03,111
Right. Bring me forth into the castle!
303
00:56:02,028 --> 00:56:05,906
Forward!
304
00:56:05,364 --> 00:56:11,078
By havoc let them loose the dogs of war!
305
00:56:09,910 --> 00:56:12,912
To the castle!
306
00:56:16,542 --> 00:56:19,836
Death to the mortals!
307
00:56:22,339 --> 00:56:23,923
Arrows!
308
00:56:23,758 --> 00:56:26,343
Torch by!
309
00:57:01,420 --> 00:57:03,463
Steady...
310
00:57:09,511 --> 00:57:12,889
Fire!
311
00:57:44,004 --> 00:57:47,632
Squire, the second division approaching from the south.
312
00:57:48,050 --> 00:57:51,178
Ram the gates!
313
00:57:55,432 --> 00:57:59,978
Catapults!
314
00:58:08,278 --> 00:58:12,657
Fire!
315
00:58:27,756 --> 00:58:31,676
-Seek cover!
-Watch out!
-Make way!
316
00:58:45,065 --> 00:58:48,610
Ough! Oh, you miserable bags of bones!
317
00:58:48,110 --> 00:58:59,579
Pick yourselves up and sally arh... sally agh... sally forth.
318
00:59:13,969 --> 00:59:16,638
Forward!
319
00:59:17,973 --> 00:59:21,184
Clutches the door, now!
320
00:59:45,041 --> 00:59:47,460
Oooh! That's gotta hurt!
321
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:52,298
Down you creatures! Arrows!
322
01:00:02,475 --> 01:00:06,478
We've broken through! The castle's ours!
323
01:00:48,772 --> 01:00:51,774
Fall back!
324
01:00:51,524 --> 01:00:54,318
Protect the book!
325
01:00:54,194 --> 01:00:56,821
God save us all.
326
01:01:01,075 --> 01:01:04,203
Say hello to the 21st century.
327
01:01:16,799 --> 01:01:20,552
Come on! I got plenty for everybody!
328
01:01:32,732 --> 01:01:36,277
Up and get him!
329
01:02:10,436 --> 01:02:12,813
Sheila...
330
01:02:37,004 --> 01:02:39,339
We've secured the cortyard, my Lord.
331
01:02:38,881 --> 01:02:41,466
Excellent.
332
01:03:18,671 --> 01:03:21,924
-My Lord...
-Stay with the book!
333
01:03:21,757 --> 01:03:24,259
A bok where we are.
334
01:03:27,722 --> 01:03:32,226
The Red! The Red! Duke Henry
and his men arrived!
335
01:03:34,770 --> 01:03:41,318
Bows, bolts arms and heads!
336
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:24,569
The book is mine.
337
01:04:32,411 --> 01:04:34,496
Now I'll cut your desert out.
338
01:04:35,748 --> 01:04:37,833
Hey, where'd he go? Hey!
339
01:04:47,926 --> 01:04:50,303
Come to papa.
340
01:04:50,596 --> 01:04:52,180
Get him.
341
01:05:18,624 --> 01:05:22,961
Oh you crazy bitch, get off me!
342
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:39,519
You found me beautiful once.
343
01:05:38,852 --> 01:05:43,356
Honey, you got real ugly.
344
01:05:58,664 --> 01:06:01,208
There we are.
345
01:06:09,174 --> 01:06:14,721
Wanna play rough, ey?
346
01:06:28,318 --> 01:06:31,112
Prepare to die!
347
01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:46,294
You're going down.
348
01:06:45,710 --> 01:06:47,962
I'm goin' up.
349
01:06:48,004 --> 01:06:50,089
I'm coming for ya!
350
01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:45,311
I'll spoil those good looks! Backstabber!
351
01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:13,923
We cant hold the battle!
352
01:08:13,923 --> 01:08:16,508
We will hold! We must protect the book!
353
01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:32,316
I got a bone to pick with you. Come on.
354
01:09:20,740 --> 01:09:23,451
At last! The book!
355
01:09:28,581 --> 01:09:31,250
I posses the Necronomicon!
356
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:35,880
No I'll have my vengeance!
357
01:09:35,046 --> 01:09:39,675
Buckle up bonehead, cause you're going for a ride.
358
01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:56,191
Victory is ours!
359
01:09:58,194 --> 01:10:02,072
-Retreat! Retreat!
-Let's get the hell out of here!
360
01:11:25,906 --> 01:11:28,450
Hey Henry.
361
01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:28,992
How's it going?
362
01:11:29,743 --> 01:11:32,871
Well won my friend.
363
01:11:39,169 --> 01:11:41,087
We're brother's then...
364
01:11:41,672 --> 01:11:44,966
a new kingdom shall be born!
365
01:11:46,468 --> 01:11:50,638
The book tells us that once you drink this liquid,
366
01:11:49,805 --> 01:11:54,851
and recite the words: Clatoo, Verata, Nicto
367
01:11:53,851 --> 01:11:58,021
thou shall awaken in thou own time.
368
01:11:59,106 --> 01:12:03,819
Remember, you must recite the words exactly.
369
01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:58,540
I thought about staying.
370
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:02,210
They offered me a chance to lead them, teach them... to...
371
01:13:01,376 --> 01:13:03,878
to be king!
372
01:13:04,212 --> 01:13:06,297
But my place is here,
373
01:13:05,964 --> 01:13:09,384
so I swallow the juice, said the words,
374
01:13:08,675 --> 01:13:10,134
and here I am.
375
01:13:09,843 --> 01:13:12,345
Did you said the words right this time?
376
01:13:13,555 --> 01:13:17,308
Well maybe I didn't say every
single tiny little syllable,
377
01:13:17,309 --> 01:13:19,144
no, but basically I said them, yeah.
378
01:13:20,604 --> 01:13:22,397
Basically...
379
01:13:25,358 --> 01:13:27,777
You know that story how you could have been king?
380
01:13:28,737 --> 01:13:31,114
I... think it's kind a cute.
381
01:13:32,324 --> 01:13:33,575
Yeah.
382
01:13:52,385 --> 01:13:53,969
Die!
383
01:14:08,443 --> 01:14:11,946
Lady I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the store.
384
01:14:11,821 --> 01:14:14,073
Who the hell are you?!
385
01:14:14,199 --> 01:14:15,617
Name's Ash...
386
01:14:17,661 --> 01:14:18,953
House-wares.
387
01:14:39,849 --> 01:14:42,601
I'll swallow your soul!
388
01:14:42,602 --> 01:14:43,686
Come get some.
389
01:15:04,249 --> 01:15:07,585
Sure I could 've stayed in the past...
390
01:15:08,628 --> 01:15:10,296
coul of even been king...
391
01:15:12,382 --> 01:15:16,803
But in my own way... I am king.
392
01:15:18,138 --> 01:15:19,806
Hail to the king baby.
28507
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