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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,000 [shovel thudding] 2 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,000 [man panting] 3 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 [thudding continues] 4 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 [water splashing] 5 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:21,000 [Herschel] In old country of Schlupsk, I am ditch digger. 6 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 It is not always great. 7 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,000 Life is difficult. 8 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000 But then one day, 9 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000 Hashem gives me a miracle. 10 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,000 [indistinct chatter] 11 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,000 [Herschel] Her name is Sarah. 12 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000 She is strong 13 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,000 and she has all her teeth, top and bottom. 14 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000 I decide at once to woo her. 15 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000 [speaking foreign language] 16 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,000 [speaking Yiddish] 17 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,000 [Herschel] Wooing fails, 18 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,000 but I am determined to win her. 19 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Every day, I dig twice the ditch. 20 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,000 It is greatest summer of my life. 21 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 We have so much in common. 22 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Her favorite color black. My favorite color black. 23 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Her parents murdered by Cossacks. 24 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,000 My parents murdered by Cossacks. 25 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,000 I notice nice little thing about her. 26 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 She always sneeze same way. 27 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000 Four time. 28 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000 Is adorable. 29 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,000 Sometimes, when we want to be alone, 30 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000 we go to very special bog. 31 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,000 We tell each other all our hopes and dreams. 32 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 [Sarah speaking foreign language] 33 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000 [chuckles] 34 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 Oh. 35 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000 [both chuckling] 36 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000 [sighs] 37 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,000 [Herschel] We have wedding in front of whole town. 38 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000 Hashem blesses us. 39 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,000 [shouts in foreign language] 40 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000 [Herschel] For a bit. 41 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 We are attacked by Cossacks. 42 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000 Bloodthirsty, Jew-hungry, 43 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Russian maniacs drunk from vodka. 44 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 Jew! 45 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,000 -[sword swishing] -[indistinct shouting] 46 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:32,000 [Herschel] The Cossacks destroy our whole world. 47 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,000 But... 48 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,000 we are the Greenbaums. 49 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,000 We are strong. 50 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,000 And together there is no stopping us. 51 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:48,000 We keep fighting till we have American dream. 52 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 [man] All right, let's get these 53 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000 dumb Polacks outta here. 54 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 [child screams] 55 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000 [Herschel] Compared to Cossacks, 56 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:56,000 Americans very kind. 57 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,000 [man] All right. This way, you filthy Jews. Let's go. 58 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,000 [Herschel] I find good job in pickle factory. 59 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 A good Jewish business. 60 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,000 The foreman will not let me mix salt. 61 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Or sort cucumber. 62 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,000 But he says I can chase rats with club 63 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,000 and he will pay nickel for every ten Herschel smash. 64 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 [rat squeaking] 65 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000 [grunts] 66 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,000 [Herschel] It is not dream job. 67 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,000 But I am grateful for chance to prove my worth. 68 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,000 Get your seltzer water here! Just one bright, shiny nickel. 69 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,000 [Herschel] Some things still out of reach. 70 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,000 Seltzer water. Get your seltzer water! 71 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000 Yeah, you, sir. Seltzer water today? 72 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the men. 73 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 It's only one bright, shiny nickel for the ladies. 74 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:44,000 [Herschel] But over time we work and save. 75 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 I grant Sarah's wish. 76 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:51,000 A beautiful Greenbaum family plot 77 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,000 for us to share. 78 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Forever. 79 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,000 Then Hashem gives us biggest miracle of all. 80 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000 So one night to Sarah 81 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000 I make this vow. 82 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,000 Our child will be strong. 83 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,000 And our child's child will be strong. 84 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000 Our family will prosper. 85 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,000 And in 100 years, 86 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000 the Greenbaums will be powerful. 87 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000 Successful. 88 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 The strongest in the land. 89 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000 [Herschel] And then one day, 90 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,000 everything changed. 91 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 [rats squeaking] 92 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000 [squeaking] 93 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 [screaming] 94 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000 Attention! 95 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,000 This factory has been condemned. 96 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 [indistinct chatter] 97 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000 [thuds] 98 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 -Damn it. -Shit. 99 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000 [boy 1] Dude, we're never gonna find this, bro. 100 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000 [boy 2] No, it's definitely this way. 101 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000 Whoa. 102 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,000 [lid clattering] 103 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,000 [all screaming] 104 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000 [boy] Let's go! 105 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000 [breathing heavily] 106 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000 -[indistinct chatter] -[cameras flashing] 107 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,000 Please! Please! Settle down. 108 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Essentially, the pickle brine preserved him perfectly. 109 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,000 It's been 100 years, but he hasn't aged a day. 110 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000 -That's impossible. -You don't honestly expect us 111 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,000 to buy that, do you? 112 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,000 What's the science behind it? 113 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Please, let me explain. 114 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 [Herschel] The scientist explains. 115 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000 His logic is good. 116 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000 It satisfies everyone. 117 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 -Oh, yes. -It makes sense. 118 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 -Absolutely. -Very clear. 119 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000 [Herschel] But... 120 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000 I'm very sad. 121 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,000 The world has changed. 122 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,000 Everything I know is gone. And... 123 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 ...everyone. 124 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 [doctor] I'm so sorry, Herschel. 125 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,000 You will check again. 126 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000 We already checked the city records twice. 127 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000 She wasn't brined. 128 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000 She's been dead for 80 years. 129 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000 You will check again. 130 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 We already checked. 131 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 [grunts] 132 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000 [alarm beeping] 133 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 [Herschel] My Sarah is gone. 134 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000 Our child is gone. 135 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000 I have nothing. 136 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,000 Then I get some great news. 137 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,000 Great news, Herschel. 138 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 It took a little bit of doing, 139 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000 but we were able to track down a living relative. 140 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000 I have family? 141 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Yes. 142 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000 A great-grandson. 143 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,000 And, as luck would have it, he lives right here in Brooklyn 144 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,000 and he's exactly the same age as you. 145 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,000 -His name is "Ben Greenbaum." -[sighs] 146 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,000 And we're contacting him right now. 147 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,000 Thank you. 148 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,000 [Herschel] I am so excited I forget all my misery. 149 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 Even though I have not met this Ben, 150 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,000 I can see him in my mind. 151 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,000 He will be just like how I vowed to Sarah, 152 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000 powerful. 153 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000 Successful. 154 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,000 The strongest in the land. 155 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,000 [man speaking indistinctly] 156 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,000 [man sneezes four times] 157 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 -[woman] Bless you. -[man] Oh, I'm sorry. 158 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000 Excuse me. 159 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Greenbaum. 160 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000 Yeah. 161 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000 Greenbaum. 162 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,000 Greenbaum. 163 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Greenbaum. 164 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000 Greenbaum! 165 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,000 Greenbaum! 166 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Greenbaum! 167 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000 [laughs] 168 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,000 All right! 169 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000 This is nuts. [laughs] 170 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,000 It must be so crazy for you. 171 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 Very crazy. 172 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000 Crazy for me, too, man. 173 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 Are you allowed to leave? 174 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000 Do you wanna come back to my apartment? 175 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,000 -Very much. -All right. Let's go. 176 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,000 [Ben] Yeah, I got him. I'm his great-grandson. 177 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,000 So he's gonna stay with me for a bit. Yeah. Thank you. 178 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000 [car honking] 179 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000 [Ben] Take it in. 180 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Cool, huh? 181 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000 Make way. 182 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,000 [Ben] It's a scooter. 183 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,000 They're actually pretty fun. 184 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000 Anyway, I can't wait to show you, like, the future. 185 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,000 There's so much cool shit, man. You're gonna love it. 186 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000 [horn honking] 187 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 It's cool, man. It's a cab. 188 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,000 It's gonna take us back to my apartment. Hop in. 189 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 [chuckles] It's all right. 190 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Oh, yeah, crawl in. 191 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 There you go. You got it. 192 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000 We're going to Brooklyn, please. Thank you. 193 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000 Here we are, man. 194 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Home, sweet home. 195 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 Hey, check this out. 196 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000 Alexa, lights. 197 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000 Pretty cool, huh? 198 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000 All this yours? 199 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000 Yeah. I mean, I don't own it or anything like that. 200 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000 I do live here by myself. I work from home, 201 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,000 though, a lot. 202 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,000 It would be nice, honestly, to have someone around. 203 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,000 So you can stay here as long as you want. 204 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,000 I do not want to be burden to you. 205 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,000 It's not a burden, Herschel. At all. I mean... 206 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000 I'm amazed you're alive. [chuckles] 207 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000 I really never thought I would get a chance 208 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000 to meet another Greenbaum. So... 209 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 Neither did I. 210 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000 You must be thirsty. 211 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000 I mean, you were brined for, like, a century. 212 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000 And there's salt in brine, right? 213 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 So you must be pretty parched, to say the least. 214 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000 Can I get you something to drink? 215 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,000 Macadamia milk? Or there's cashew milk. 216 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000 I got pea milk. They're milking peas now. 217 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000 They're milking everything these days, dude. 218 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000 You name it, they're milking it. 219 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000 I got mint tea. I have kombucha. 220 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 -"Kombucha"? -Yeah. 221 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,000 It's fermented... stuff. Honestly, I don't even know. 222 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 Tastes nasty. But it's very healthy. 223 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000 -Would you like some? -Is fine. 224 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:26,000 They inject drink into my arm in hospital. 225 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,000 -I am fine. -Fair enough. 226 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000 There must be something I can get you. 227 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000 Would you like some seltzer? 228 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000 You have seltzer. 229 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Oh, I got seltzer for days, son. 230 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,000 I got a whole seltzer machine. It's pretty cool, actually. 231 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,000 Ya just fill this up there. 232 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,000 That's it. You put in the cartridge. 233 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,000 "Cartridge." 234 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,000 And you just press that button. Makes you seltzer. 235 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000 Press button. 236 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000 Exactly. You wanna press it? 237 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000 You'll let me press seltzer button? 238 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Yeah. It's a pretty big deal, but we're family. 239 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000 So you can press the seltzer button. 240 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Knock yourself out. 241 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Yeah! 242 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000 There you go. You're seltzering. 243 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,000 Pretty cool, huh? 244 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000 -The bubble. -So many bubbles. 245 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000 Well... 246 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,000 One for you. And one for me. 247 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 Cheers. 248 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,000 L'chaim. 249 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000 Ooh! 250 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000 [chuckles] 251 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Yeah. 252 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Lots of bubbles. [chuckles] 253 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Crazy. 254 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000 This must be very overwhelming for you. 255 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 It's a lot. It's a little much. 256 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000 But I think you'll find there's actually, like, 257 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000 some pretty cool stuff about the future. 258 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,000 [scoffing] 259 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,000 Oh, yeah. Exactly. Not just that. 260 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,000 Uh, I know what else you might like. 261 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000 You like music, right? 262 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000 Yes. 263 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Watch this. 264 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Alexa, play... 265 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000 oldies. 266 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 [Alexa] Here's a station for you. Oldies. 267 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000 ["Stay" playing] 268 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000 ♪ Stay ♪ 269 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,000 ♪ Just a little bit longer ♪ 270 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000 ♪ Please, please Please, please ♪ 271 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,000 ♪ Tell me you're going to ♪ 272 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000 Pretty cool, huh? 273 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,000 It's a stereo, 274 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000 and it plays music from the Internet. 275 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,000 It comes through these speakers. 276 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000 Pretty good, huh? 277 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000 It's a good song. 278 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000 Here, check it, check it, check it. 279 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000 ♪ Oh, won't you stay ♪ 280 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000 It's you. It's you singing. 281 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,000 No, I'm lip-synching. Get in there. 282 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000 -Get in there, man. -It's okay. 283 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 -It's okay. -Get in there. 284 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000 ♪ You say that you will ♪ 285 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 ♪ Say that you will ♪ 286 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000 I watch you dance. 287 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000 I'm a very good dancer for my time. 288 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 Come on. Get in there. 289 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,000 Come on. Get in there. I know you want to. 290 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Yeah. 291 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000 Oh, there you go. 292 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,000 ♪ Just a little bit longer ♪ 293 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000 ♪ Please, please Please, please ♪ 294 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000 ♪ Tell me you're going to ♪ 295 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000 Brooklyn's probably changed a lot since you last saw it, 296 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000 I would imagine. 297 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000 Good pizza, huh? 298 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000 Hey. 299 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 They are couple? 300 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000 Yeah, yeah. Interracial couples 301 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000 totally cool now 302 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000 in parts of the country. 303 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000 Yeah, check it out. 304 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000 Twinsies. 305 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000 Hey, nice clothes. Is that vintage? 306 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 -Good, huh? -Hmm? 307 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000 Kosher, too. 308 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000 This is a scooter. 309 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,000 You have legs. You do not need this thing. 310 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,000 That is a weirdly inappropriate thing to say. 311 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,000 How many pairs of shoes you own? 312 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000 Um, like seven, maybe? 313 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,000 Seven. How many sock? 314 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000 I have like 20, 25 pairs of socks. 315 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 [chuckles] 316 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,000 Twenty-five socks! Twenty-five. 317 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000 It's a lot of socks. 318 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000 -You only have two feet, right? -[laughs] 319 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,000 No, it's just these. [laughs] 320 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:30,000 Ben Greenbaum. Owner of 25 pair of sock. 321 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 It's pretty normal for today. 322 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000 Tell me, what is it you do for job? 323 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000 Wait, let me guess. You're a doctor. 324 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000 No. You're a lawyer. 325 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 No. 326 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 Close. Freelance mobile app developer. 327 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000 What? 328 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000 It's easier if I show you. 329 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000 Here, come on. 330 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,000 You're gonna think it's dope. Which means "good." 331 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000 Check it out, man. 332 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 Go. 333 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,000 A magic rectangle. You make this? 334 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,000 No, I didn't invent the iPad. I wish I did, though. 335 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000 But let me ask you this, 336 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000 before people buy something 337 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000 what's something they wish they knew? 338 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000 How long has meat been dead for? 339 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000 Yeah, that. 340 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000 Also, they want to know 341 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000 whether or not the company they're buying from is ethical. 342 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000 -They do? -Yes. 343 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 They do. It's called "conscientious shopping." 344 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000 It's very popular. 345 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000 My app makes it very easy. 346 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000 All you do is, you scan a product. 347 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000 And it tells you whether or not the company is ethical 348 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000 by analyzing its carbon footprint, 349 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000 its labor policies, 350 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,000 and a bunch of other things and it gives you a score. 351 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000 Check it out. 352 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000 91. 353 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000 These kale chips are gonna be extra delicious 354 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000 because I know how ethical they are. 355 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,000 Thanks to Boop Bop. 356 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 -"Boop Bop"? -Boop Bop, yeah. 357 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,000 -It's called "Boop Bop." -Why Boop Bop? 358 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000 Um... 359 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000 You know, it's kinda just like the trend, 360 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000 I guess, these days 361 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000 to give apps, like, silly names. 362 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,000 You know, Venmo, Hulu, Hipmunk and... 363 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000 You know, you might think it's kinda silly. 364 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000 But I've been working on it pretty hard 365 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,000 for five years now, basically. 366 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000 And once I sell this thing, I can finally, you know, 367 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,000 start the next chapter, which is exciting. 368 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:22,000 You work for five years. How come you no sell? 369 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000 It's just... 370 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000 not ready yet. 371 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000 I'm still finalizing some things. 372 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Just really focused on getting it right, you know? 373 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Making it perfect. 374 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000 I think once it's ready, though, I'll have 375 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,000 a pretty easy time selling it. 376 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,000 I went to school with this guy who works in venture capital. 377 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 And I'm pretty sure he'd be into it. 378 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 He said that they wanna hear the pitch as soon as it's done. 379 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,000 But I'm still kind of noodling with the logo. 380 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,000 I mean, this mustardy one has really been growing on me. 381 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000 I kinda wish it was mustardier, though. 382 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000 Is this your father? 383 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000 No, that's David Bowie. 384 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000 Is this your mother? 385 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000 No, that's also David Bowie. 386 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000 That whole poster's David Bowie. 387 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,000 How come in this whole place you have so many things, 388 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000 but no pictures of family? 389 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000 I have pictures of my family. 390 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000 I just haven't really, 391 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,000 you know, like, framed them and incorporated them in my... 392 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000 design. 393 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000 But I got that stuff right here. 394 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 [sighs] 395 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000 You kept. 396 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000 Yeah. I kept. 397 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 [exhales heavily] 398 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000 Who is this? 399 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000 That's... 400 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,000 your son. 401 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,000 It's Mort Greenbaum. 402 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,000 "Mort"? 403 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,000 [sighs] 404 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000 Sarah had son. 405 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000 How was his life? 406 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000 Was he success? 407 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,000 Yeah. He was a foreman of a brick factory. 408 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,000 A foreman? 409 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,000 Yeah. 410 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Who is this? 411 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000 Uh... 412 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000 That's Mort's son. 413 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,000 David Greenbaum. Your grandson. 414 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000 He was also foreman? 415 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000 He was an accountant. 416 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000 -Accountant. -Yeah. 417 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000 This his wife? 418 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,000 Mm-hmm. 419 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,000 Who is this very shapely young woman here? 420 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000 That's me. 421 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000 These are your parents. 422 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,000 Where are they? 423 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,000 They passed away. 424 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000 I'm very sorry. 425 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000 Murdered or regular? 426 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000 It was a car crash. 427 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000 So, regular. 428 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000 You will tell me everything of their death 429 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000 so I may bear witness to your grief. 430 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:53,000 How their bodies died, their faces as the life left. 431 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,000 Be very specific. 432 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000 Spare no detail. 433 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000 We will bond over our pain. 434 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000 No detail too small. 435 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000 We don't have to get into that right now. 436 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 You wanna get outta here? Let's go to Smorgasburg. 437 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000 They have jackfruit nachos that are actually really good. 438 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,000 We will go to cemetery now. 439 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000 Visit Greenbaum family grave, pay our respect to dead. 440 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000 Actually, I'm not sure... 441 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000 I don't think the cemetery's open right now. 442 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000 So we go to cemetery tomorrow. 443 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 I think it was maybe supposed to rain. 444 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000 So I guess weather permitting. 445 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000 All right. But now we go to shul, 446 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000 we say Mourner's Kaddish, prayer for dead. 447 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:30,000 Must properly honor memory of Sarah, Mort, your parents. 448 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000 Yeah, I'm not... 449 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000 I'm not sure that's something I want to do right now. 450 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:39,000 But I would be happy to walk you over there. 451 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000 What is problem? 452 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000 It's not a problem. 453 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,000 I guess I understand why you're a religious person. 454 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000 That makes sense for someone from your era. 455 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,000 But I am not... 456 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000 I'm not very religious. 457 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 You do not know Mourner's Kaddish? 458 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000 [clicks tongue] 459 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000 Not anymore, no. 460 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000 How do you grieve for dead parents 461 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000 if you do not say prayer for dead? 462 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 I'm doing okay. 463 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,000 I do not understand. 464 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,000 You were raised Jew. 465 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:17,000 Yeah. 466 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,000 Are you not still Jew? 467 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000 Technically. 468 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000 I also had a Jumanji-themed bar mitzvah. 469 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000 It's not like I was that religious 470 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000 in the first place. 471 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,000 Also, like, organized religion is very regressive. 472 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000 [sighs] 473 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000 Praise Hashem, there is still beautiful Greenbaum plot. 474 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000 Very special place. Very special. 475 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,000 Tell me, how high is elm tree now? 476 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,000 100 feet? 477 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000 200 feet? 478 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,000 Yeah. Something like that. Probably. I'm not 100% sure. 479 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000 When last time you come? 480 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:32,000 I don't know, maybe like five years ago, or somethin'. 481 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000 So been a little while. 482 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000 Wait. 483 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,000 It's this way. 484 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000 This way! 485 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,000 Sweet Hashem. 486 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000 You let them put garbage. 487 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,000 And you let them put huge sign block out sun and kill tree! 488 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000 Yeah, it's not on our property. 489 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,000 There's nothing we can do about it. 490 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000 Sarah. 491 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000 [Herschel sniffles] 492 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000 You okay? 493 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,000 We will pray. 494 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000 [praying in foreign language] 495 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,000 Hey, guys! 496 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 Sorry, you can't be there. 497 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,000 What? 498 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000 We're putting up a billboard! 499 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,000 [Herschel] What it say? 500 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 It's an ad for vanilla-flavored vodka. 501 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000 Vanilla-flavored... 502 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000 ...vodka? 503 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000 Cossacks. 504 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,000 Cossack! 505 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 Hershel, what are you doin', man? 506 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,000 You will take down vanilla vodka... 507 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,000 or I will do violence. 508 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,000 What? 509 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,000 You will take down vanilla vodka... 510 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000 or I will do violence. 511 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,000 Look, buddy, I don't have time for-- 512 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,000 Oh, shit. No! 513 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000 [grunting] 514 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000 -Stop! -Yes! 515 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000 Stop! 516 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000 Come on! Come on! 517 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000 Ben! Ben! 518 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 Come on! 519 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000 You can never stop the Greenbaums! 520 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000 You will never stop the Greenbaums! 521 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000 [door buzzes] 522 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,000 Your payment's been processed. You're free to go. 523 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 Fantastic. 524 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 We must go back to grave. 525 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000 We will cut down Cossack billboard. 526 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,000 Dude, if we do that, 527 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000 we're gonna go back to jail. So, no. 528 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000 Okay. We must purchase billboard from Cossack, 529 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:08,000 which I do not like, 530 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000 and then we cut down billboard. 531 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 First off, the Cossacks don't own it. 532 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 Second off, it's owned by some giant billboard company. 533 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 It costs $200,000. 534 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:19,000 Then we buy from giant company and then we cut down billboard. 535 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,000 Why are you being so difficult about this? 536 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,000 I can't afford it! 537 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 You have moneys? Your parents leave you moneys? 538 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000 I don't have $200,000. 539 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,000 You have all this, so you have moneys. 540 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,000 How much moneys you have? 541 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 I have some money left, but I don't have a lot left. 542 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000 And I have a lot less now that I had to bail us 543 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,000 out of jail, Herschel. 544 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,000 It's not my fault! 545 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 What is your fault is that you started a fight with 546 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,000 some construction workers! 547 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,000 Someone has to defend honor of family. Not you. 548 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000 And I'd be defending the honor of our family more 549 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000 if I wasn't busy trying to create a company 550 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000 and a product, man! 551 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,000 You're busy? Oh, yes. Not selling Boop Bops. 552 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 You don't understand how much pressure there is 553 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000 on this stuff. Okay? 554 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,000 I'm trying to make it perfect. 555 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000 Blue. Green. Red. Who cares? 556 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000 Pick a color! 557 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000 Companies are made or broken by the color of their logo! 558 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000 Let me tell you something. 559 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000 In Schlupsk, we have saying. 560 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 Oh, good. Yeah, what is it? I'm sure this has aged well. 561 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000 If man says he is going to throw punch, 562 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,000 but he does not throw punch, 563 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000 it is because this man secretly has polio arm. 564 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,000 This is you. 565 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 You have polio arm. 566 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 This your polio arm. 567 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000 Throw your punch! 568 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000 Do something, Ben! 569 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000 Don't just sit there, looking at Boop Bops. 570 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000 Blue, yellow, green! Who cares? 571 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000 Throw your punch! 572 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000 Okay. Fine! You know what? Fine! Fine! 573 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,000 -Good. Good. Do it. -I'll email the guy. 574 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000 No choice anyway. I have no money. 575 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000 It's not ready. Logo's not right. 576 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000 Who cares about the stupid logo? 577 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,000 [message alert chimes] 578 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000 You know they cured polio, right? 579 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,000 -They did? -Yes, they did. 580 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,000 A long time ago. A guy named Jonas Salk. 581 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,000 Was he Jew? 582 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,000 He was. Yes. 583 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000 -He was Jewish? -Yes. 584 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,000 Yes! Knew it. 585 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,000 Oh, yeah, big win. 586 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,000 I would look at polio people and think, 587 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,000 "They could fix this." 588 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000 You thought that? 589 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,000 This problem not unfixable problem. 590 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000 You put a Jew on this, he will fix this. 591 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000 Very prophetic of you, Herschel. 592 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000 I was right. Very good. 593 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000 [message alert chimes] 594 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000 He's texting back. 595 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000 He says my idea's "straight fire." 596 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,000 That's a good thing. 597 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,000 He wants me to come in today and pitch my idea in person. 598 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,000 He wants your Boop Bops. 599 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000 -This is a big deal, Herschel. -Yes. 600 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,000 He wants my Boop Bops. 601 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,000 Ben, what's up? 602 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000 Hey! How's it going, man? 603 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,000 We're not gonna invest. 604 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,000 -What? -Yeah. Sorry, man. 605 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,000 What's the problem? 606 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,000 Before you came in, we googled your name 607 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,000 and the first thing that comes up is your arrest. 608 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000 Look, it's just bad optics. 609 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,000 I mean, the whole app is about ethics, 610 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000 and the founder is a violent criminal. 611 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000 Like, if you Boop Bopped Boop Bop, 612 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000 you'd get a really low Boop Bop score. 613 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,000 Is there anything we can do? 614 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000 Can we spin this or something like that? 615 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000 Oh, no. Definitely not. 616 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000 No one's gonna touch this, man. This is... 617 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,000 This idea is dead. 618 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000 [sighs] 619 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000 Look, consider this an opportunity. 620 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,000 I mean, there's tons of other ideas. 621 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000 -How long did it take to come up with this? 622 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,000 -Five years. 623 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000 Five years. That's-- 624 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,000 Long time. 625 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,000 Yeah, that's a while. 626 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000 Sorry to disappoint you, I guess. 627 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000 Maybe you can make an app where it doesn't matter 628 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:24,000 if the founder's a bad person. 629 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000 Like a social media thing. 630 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:30,000 Hey. I don't know if you want my advice, man, 631 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000 but it's never too late to do things completely differently. 632 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,000 You know? 633 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000 -Yeah. -Yeah. 634 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000 Take care, man. 635 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Call me if you got anything new. 636 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,000 [door opening] 637 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,000 Did you get moneys? 638 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000 No. I didn't get moneys. 639 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,000 And I'm afraid that I might never get moneys 640 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,000 for my business that is based on ethics 641 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000 now that I have a criminal record for assault 642 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:11,000 because of you! 643 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000 I was worried no one would want your Boop Bops 644 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,000 because is terrible idea. So... 645 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,000 I have other idea. 646 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000 We start pickle business. 647 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000 Is good business. Jewish business. 648 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000 I have knowledge of pickling. 649 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,000 I was myself a pickle. 650 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,000 That's a very stupid idea, Herschel. 651 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,000 It will work. 652 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000 We will start pickle business. 653 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000 We will become success. 654 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,000 You will finally make dead parents proud. 655 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000 Don't you talk about my parents. 656 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,000 You never talk about my parents! 657 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000 You don't know anything about them! 658 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,000 You never met them! 659 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000 'Cause you were too busy getting pickle-brined 660 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,000 for 100 years! 661 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,000 It's your fault, Herschel. 662 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000 You got us arrested. 663 00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,000 You ruined my business that I spent years on! 664 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,000 It's a good thing Sarah's not around anymore. 665 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,000 'Cause if she was, she would be ashamed of you. 666 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000 [dramatic music playing] 667 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000 You hear this vow. 668 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000 I will create pickle empire. 669 00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:22,000 I will make $200,000. 670 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000 I will buy back Cossack land. 671 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,000 And I will cut down billboard. 672 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,000 I will prove you stupid. 673 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000 Because you are my enemy. 674 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,000 You dishonor Greenbaum name. 675 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000 We are no longer family. 676 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,000 [Ben] Good luck with that. 677 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000 You don't know jack shit about shit, man. 678 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 You can't even read from what I can tell. 679 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,000 You're gonna start a pickle empire? 680 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,000 You can't even survive out there without my help! 681 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,000 Do not need help from anybody. 682 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:55,000 I will prove you stupid with no help from anybody ever! 683 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 I would like to purchase. How much? 684 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,000 Looks like these are 90 cents apiece. 685 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000 Terribly sorry, little boy. It sounds to me 686 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000 like you are saying these cucumbers 687 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,000 are 90 cents apiece. 688 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000 I am. 689 00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,000 Cucumber. 690 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,000 And salt. 691 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000 Yes! 692 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000 [upbeat music playing] 693 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,000 [thunder rumbling] 694 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000 Yes! 695 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,000 [horn honking] 696 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000 [man] Oh, my God. Kevin, look. 697 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000 Artisanal pickles. 698 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:22,000 Well, he's not on Yelp. 699 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:27,000 Sir. How local is your produce? 700 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,000 I make pickle here in Brooklyn. 701 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000 And are they all-natural? 702 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,000 Is pickle. 703 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000 But do you add any chemicals like, 704 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000 you know, benzoates or preservatives? 705 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000 I do not even know these words. 706 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000 Oh, I like your style. 707 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000 Ooh, let's see. 708 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,000 Wow! Ooh. 709 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,000 Just hits me in my throat. 710 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,000 Very pungent. 711 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,000 Let me smell it. 712 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000 Oh! Yeah, that burns. 713 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,000 You can feel the burn. 714 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000 I can, like, smell it in my eye. 715 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,000 Feel the sting. 716 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,000 Give it to me again. Let me smell it. 717 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000 Mm, yeah, that's straight from the devil. 718 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,000 Satanic. Oh, it stinks. 719 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000 You know what, it would go so good 720 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000 with the kelp ceviche. 721 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000 Oh, my God, that's right. How much do we owe you? 722 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000 You want to buy? 723 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,000 Of course. 724 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,000 Is four dollar for pickle. 725 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000 Three dollar less than big store 726 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,000 and I include the scum. 727 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 -Okay. Sure. -Okay! Yeah, scum. 728 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 -Here you go. -That's great. 729 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:21,000 Scum it is. 730 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 You no haggle. 731 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 Haggle? No, I mean, it seems like four dollars 732 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:32,000 is appropriate for one pickle. 733 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:33,000 Yeah, unless you got a coupon. 734 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,000 Ew! 735 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 Also, you bring back jar when you finish. 736 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000 -He reclaims his jars. He reclaims his jars. 737 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,000 -Wow. 738 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000 There is nothing wrong with used jar. 739 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000 They same after many, many use. 740 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000 Amen to that! 741 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,000 -Amen. -Amen. 742 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:48,000 You are religious. 743 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,000 Amen! Well, thank you so much. Have a good day. 744 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000 Don't forget bring back jar. 745 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000 Or I will find you, and I will do 746 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:58,000 terrible violence. 747 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000 You know what? You should do a post on him. 748 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000 Oh. Yeah. How could I not? 749 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,000 ["Reflections of My Life" playing] 750 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:21,000 ♪ The changing of sunlight ♪ 751 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000 ♪ To moonlight ♪ 752 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:29,000 ♪ Reflections of my life ♪ 753 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:34,000 ♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪ 754 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000 ♪ The greetings of people ♪ 755 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,000 ♪ In trouble ♪ 756 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,000 ♪ Reflections of my life ♪ 757 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:55,000 ♪ Oh, how they fill my eyes ♪ 758 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:03,000 ♪ Oh, my sorrows ♪ 759 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:08,000 ♪ Sad tomorrows ♪ 760 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:13,000 ♪ Take me back to my own home ♪ 761 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,000 [woman] Hey, man, how's it going? 762 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000 Yeah, not fantastic. 763 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000 I found out I gotta basically throw away 764 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,000 the app I was working on, 765 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,000 and start again from scratch. 766 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,000 -Bummer. -Yeah. Big bummer. 767 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,000 But I'll think of something. 768 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000 [Herschel] It's about the smell. 769 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,000 You know is good. 770 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,000 Pickles should smell like vomit. 771 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000 Excuse me, what is that? 772 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000 It's a blog post about that old-timey pickle guy 773 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:36,000 over on Bedford. 774 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,000 Oh, yeah. I heard about that guy. 775 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000 It's crazy, right? Look, here, check it out. 776 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 Herschel's jars have no label, 777 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000 and his product doesn't even have a name. 778 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000 But he just might be the most authentic 779 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,000 artisanal pickler in all of Williamsburg. 780 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,000 And his accent is cute AF. 781 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,000 Hello. 782 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000 Aww! Oh, my God! 783 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000 So he uses, like, repurposed pickle jars, 784 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,000 cucumbers, salt and rainwater, and that's it. 785 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,000 Time to invest right now, right? 786 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,000 Is this a popular blog? 787 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,000 This video's got like a million views, 788 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:09,000 so people are loving this pickle guy. 789 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000 Maybe we should sell those here. 790 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,000 Picklebacks, pickle shots. That's cool, right? 791 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,000 [man] Looks cool. 792 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,000 -[woman] Aw, I love his hat. -[man] I know. 793 00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,000 Herschel, your pickles are the hottest thing in Brooklyn. 794 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:43,000 How does it feel to be such a runaway success? 795 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,000 Ben Greenbaum, you see me now on your television box. 796 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,000 Well, I become huge success. 797 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000 Soon I buy back Cossack billboard 798 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,000 and I prove you are stupid. 799 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,000 You are stupidest person I ever seen in my life. 800 00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,000 Wow, that Ben guy really sounds stupid. 801 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000 ...genius compared to you. 802 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000 [clears throat] Okay. Not sure who Ben is. 803 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000 Herschel, I understand your pickles are made 804 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,000 with rainwater. 805 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,000 -Rainwater, yes. -Yes. 806 00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,000 Rainwater from gutters. 807 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:15,000 Nutrients from roof come off into jar. 808 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,000 [reporter] There's bird droppings in there? 809 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:19,000 [Herschel] All sorts of animal parts in here. 810 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,000 Little essence of animal feet. 811 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000 Could you pull over, please? 812 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,000 Hello. Health Department? 813 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000 I'd like to file a complaint. 814 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000 -There you go. You take pickle. 815 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,000 -Gratitude. 816 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000 Are you Herschel Greenbaum? 817 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,000 Yes, 14 dollar for pickle. 818 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000 Ten dollar extra if you want telephone photograph 819 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:47,000 with the Herschel. 820 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,000 Get in line. 821 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:53,000 Listen, you're gonna have to shut this down immediately. 822 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000 Why shut down? 823 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,000 Because you've got dozens of flagrant health violations. 824 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000 You can't just take food out of a garbage can 825 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,000 and sell it to people. 826 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,000 -That's insane. -But is all-natural. Is vegan. 827 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000 No benzoate. No preservative. 828 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:09,000 You're lucky no one has died. 829 00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,000 You owe $12,000 in taxes, fees and fines. 830 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000 Till then, you are shut down. 831 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000 [cellphone buzzing] 832 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,000 [woman] Ew. Guys. 833 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:33,000 Eighty-six the pickles. They're made out of garbage. 834 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,000 -[scoffs] -[indistinct chatter] 835 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000 Nope. 836 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,000 [woman] Oh, my God. 837 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000 -CHRISTIAN: Herschel, we heard the terrible news. 838 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:55,000 -KEVIN: Yeah, what happened? 839 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000 I was shut down by evil woman. 840 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,000 They tell me I have to "bring things up to code." 841 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,000 I do not know how to do this all by myself. 842 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000 -You could scale up the business, right? 843 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,000 -True. 844 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,000 -Maybe hire some workers. -That's good. 845 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,000 Cannot afford workers. 846 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000 You could get interns! 847 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,000 [Christian gasps] Yes. 848 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:17,000 "Interns"? 849 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,000 Yeah, they're unpaid workers. 850 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,000 Unpaid workers. 851 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,000 Right. You compensate them in education and experience. 852 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,000 Like slave? 853 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,000 No, no, no. That's not what I mean. 854 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,000 That's a little bit of an oversimplification. 855 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000 Now, listen, Herschel. You run a small, 856 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:42,000 ethically conscious... 857 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,000 Next. 858 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000 Mr. Greenbaum, I would just like to thank you in advance 859 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000 for considering me for this internship. 860 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:55,000 My name is Clara. I am a rising senior at NYU. 861 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000 I have a 4.2 GPA. I am president 862 00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,000 of the Asian Cinema Club-- 863 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000 Show me your teeth. 864 00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000 Yes. 865 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000 Herschel is back! 866 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000 Gloves, here you go. Everyone needs gloves. 867 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000 That's the regulation. 868 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,000 Like the beard tucked in. That's important! 869 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:14,000 All right. Let's get this up to code, people. 870 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000 Just pickling. No talking. 871 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,000 No! 872 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,000 No, no, no! 873 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:23,000 Good pickle. Bad pickle. [grunts] 874 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,000 CLARA: Almost there. Keep it up! 875 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:34,000 [Herschel] All right! 876 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000 This is what we're reaching for, everybody. 877 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,000 This is the dream. 878 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000 This is the goal. 879 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,000 Perfect jar of pickle. 880 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000 Go. 881 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,000 -[man] Hey! -[woman] Hey there! 882 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:12,000 [indistinct chatter] 883 00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:20,000 [dramatic music playing] 884 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000 [upbeat music playing] 885 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,000 Yes! 886 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,000 Yes, yes, yeah! 887 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,000 [crunching] 888 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,000 Thank you. 889 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,000 Yeah! 890 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000 Move it, move it! 891 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000 Hurry! Hurry up! 892 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000 It says your deed on the lot is paid in full. 893 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:06,000 Cut it down. 894 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,000 Herschel win! Yeah! 895 00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,000 [scoffs] 896 00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,000 [sighs] 897 00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,000 [clicks] 898 00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000 This is the beginning. Right? You heard it here first, folks. 899 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000 Benjamin Greenbaum is gonna change the world. 900 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:37,000 That's what you're gonna do. 901 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000 Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. 902 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,000 We know it. We know it. 903 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000 Oh, yeah. Bill Gates, move over. 904 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000 -Move over, Bill Gates. -Watch out, Bill. 905 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000 Ben Greenbaum's got your number. 906 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,000 [Ben] I appreciate it. Thank you, guys. 907 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,000 [Susan] And we know you're gonna do such great things. 908 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000 -[David] Great things. -And speaking of... 909 00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,000 Guys. 910 00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,000 -It's just a little... -A little something. 911 00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,000 Oh, my God. 912 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000 [David] It's an investment. An investment 913 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,000 in your new company. 914 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000 -We wanted to get in on the ground floor. 915 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,000 -Yes, absolutely. Bottom. 916 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000 My company doesn't even have a name yet, so I think 917 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:14,000 it's a little premature. 918 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:15,000 Come on! You'll think of something. 919 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,000 [David] You could just call it "Mom and Dad." 920 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,000 [Susan] You're so creative, inventive. 921 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,000 "Mom and Dad." I like that-- 922 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,000 [banging] 923 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,000 I have done it. 924 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:41,000 I have restored honor to family and conquered the Cossacks. 925 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,000 Congrats. 926 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,000 Now I have some free time on my hands, 927 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000 so I have good news. 928 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:51,000 Herschel is back. 929 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000 I have decided I would come back 930 00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:54,000 to be with you. 931 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000 Not for me. I am fine. Very stable. 932 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000 Not ups and downs. Herschel feel very happy 933 00:51:56,000 --> 00:52:00,000 all the time. 934 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000 Oh, yeah? 935 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000 But for Ben, I figure maybe I come back and I help you. 936 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:12,000 You have no wife, no children, no friends, and now no job. 937 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,000 You need help! 938 00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,000 Herschel will help. Do not worry. 939 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:19,000 Go away, Herschel. I don't want you here. 940 00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:20,000 Okay? 941 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,000 Just please leave my apartment. 942 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000 But I am only family you have left. 943 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,000 You need Herschel. 944 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000 Without Herschel, you'll be all alone. 945 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000 No one to fix broken life. 946 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000 My life isn't broken, Herschel. 947 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000 I'm fine. I'm completely happy. 948 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:42,000 The only problem I have right now, honestly, is you. 949 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,000 Just please go! 950 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,000 If you do not realize you need Herschel, 951 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,000 you are stupider than Polish person. 952 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000 And they are the stupidest. 953 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000 How's your Twitter presence these days, Herschel? 954 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,000 What is Twitter? 955 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,000 "What is Twitter?" You don't know what Twitter is? 956 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000 Big, powerful pickle magnate like you doesn't know 957 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:13,000 what Twitter is? 958 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:15,000 I might know what it is by other word. 959 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,000 Well, maybe tell me what it is. Clarify. 960 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000 Twitter, you know, it's a marketplace of ideas 961 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000 where the world's best and brightest come 962 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000 to share their opinions 963 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,000 in a very measured and reasonable manner. Twitter. 964 00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000 I will do Twitter. 965 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000 You probably think you can but it's very complicated. 966 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,000 I don't think you'll get it. 967 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000 -I can do anything. -I don't think you can. 968 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000 -Can you do Twitter? -Oh, I can do Twitter. 969 00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,000 If you can do Twitter, I can do Twitter. 970 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:38,000 In order to do Twitter really well, 971 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,000 you gotta be raw and uncensored 972 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000 and share your completely unfettered opinions. 973 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:43,000 I don't think you'll be good at that. 974 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:45,000 -I will do Twitter! -Really? I don't know. 975 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,000 You watch me, Ben! I will do Twitter. 976 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000 I will do Twitter better than anyone has ever 977 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000 done Twitter. 978 00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,000 Well, I'll believe it when I see it, Herschel. 979 00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:55,000 You will see it. And you will believe it. 980 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000 Well, have at it, my friend! 981 00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,000 Watch. 982 00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:05,000 [door closes] 983 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,000 [Clara] Sir, some people hire a publicity team to help. 984 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,000 No help. 985 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:12,000 I will be Twitter and nothing can stop me now. 986 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000 Now read me back my dictation. 987 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,000 Okay. 988 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,000 "Wheelchair people, 989 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000 -my pickles are so good... -Yes. 990 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:24,000 ...it will make you forget Hashem has cursed you." 991 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000 Hashem has cursed their legs but not their mouths. 992 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:27,000 They can eat pickle. 993 00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,000 -Is good. -Okay. 994 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000 -Send to Twitter. -Sending. 995 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,000 "We sell to all peoples 996 00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:36,000 even woman, unless they are menses, 997 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000 in which case, stay in tent." 998 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000 Stay in tent. 999 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,000 Next Twitter. 1000 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,000 -"Attention, sodomites." -Yes. 1001 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,000 "Hashem will smite you for your sin! 1002 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:49,000 You will burn in flames for your crimes against God. 1003 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Buy my pickles." 1004 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,000 Perfect to send. 1005 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,000 Very good. 1006 00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:58,000 Yep. 1007 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,000 [indistinct chatter] 1008 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:17,000 Oh, lots of customers today. 1009 00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000 Those are not customers. Those are protesters. 1010 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000 -[woman 1] You're disgusting, man! 1011 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,000 -[woman 2] How dare you? 1012 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:24,000 "Protesters"? 1013 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,000 [man] Down with Herschel! 1014 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:27,000 [all] Down with Herschel! 1015 00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000 Down with Herschel! 1016 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:30,000 Down with Herschel! 1017 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,000 Sir, as grateful as I am to you 1018 00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:37,000 for this educational opportunity, 1019 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,000 I am afraid that I can no longer 1020 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:41,000 continue this endeavor in good conscience. 1021 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,000 Thank you for the college credit. 1022 00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000 Clara! 1023 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,000 [indistinct shouting] 1024 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,000 Down with Herschel! Down with Herschel! 1025 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,000 You traitor! 1026 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,000 After everything I do for you! 1027 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,000 [mouthing] I'm sorry. 1028 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,000 Down with Herschel! 1029 00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,000 Go away! Go away! 1030 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:03,000 [narrator] Who is Herschel Greenbaum? 1031 00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,000 And what is he selling? 1032 00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000 Is it pickles? 1033 00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,000 Or is it hate? 1034 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,000 Greenbaum's tweets are so outrageous, 1035 00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:14,000 they seem almost designed to cause offense. 1036 00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,000 You're insane! 1037 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,000 [narrator] He's drawing protests and boycotts. 1038 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,000 But maybe that's the point. 1039 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000 Some view him as a hateful bigot 1040 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:26,000 with rage in his heart. 1041 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000 Others see him as a defender of free speech, 1042 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000 a clever provocateur testing the limits 1043 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:33,000 of the First Amendment. 1044 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000 [woman] Look, I get it. He's saying 1045 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:37,000 some controversial things 1046 00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,000 but he's religious, so I believe him. 1047 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,000 He's what we need right now. 1048 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,000 [man] Everybody in the mainstream media's like, 1049 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000 "Herschel's this terrible person." 1050 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000 I think they got it all wrong. 1051 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 He's playing chess. Everybody else 1052 00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000 is playing checkers. 1053 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000 [narrator] Tonight, we'll find out who 1054 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000 Herschel Greenbaum really is 1055 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,000 from the man himself, Herschel Greenbaum. 1056 00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000 Tell me, Herschel. How do you respond 1057 00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:03,000 to those who have called your belief system abhorrent? 1058 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:05,000 I would tell these people 1059 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:08,000 I do not understand what this word means. 1060 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:12,000 So, what you're saying is when it comes to online speech 1061 00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:15,000 you don't understand restrictions. 1062 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000 I am saying I do not understand 1063 00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,000 what is happening. 1064 00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:22,000 I do not understand... 1065 00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,000 what is happening... 1066 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,000 with this whole thing. 1067 00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,000 What is happening 1068 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000 with this whole thing? 1069 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:35,000 With our culture, our country, our way of life? 1070 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,000 This is a question Herschel Greenbaum 1071 00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,000 for better or worse, is determined to ask. 1072 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:42,000 What is happening? 1073 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,000 What is happening right now? 1074 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000 I really wish somebody would tell me 1075 00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,000 what is happening. 1076 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000 Indeed. 1077 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,000 Herschel, you have captivated the imagination, 1078 00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:57,000 the hearts and minds of the entire world 1079 00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:00,000 with your passion and your truth. 1080 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:04,000 Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. Buy my pickle. 1081 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000 [host] We will. 1082 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:28,000 [cheering and applause] 1083 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,000 Okay, be that as it may 1084 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:37,000 your stance on gender roles is so regressive 1085 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,000 that it would effectively limit women to a life of servitude. 1086 00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,000 Exactly, servitude. Woman like to serve. 1087 00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,000 She has little hands for serving things to people 1088 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,000 in very nice, graceful way. 1089 00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:53,000 Women have nipples to serve milk to people. 1090 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:57,000 Woman have hole in lower body to produce babies. 1091 00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,000 In other words, serve babies out of hole in body. 1092 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,000 Yeah. Yeah! 1093 00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:05,000 Woman like serve! Yes! 1094 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,000 Incredibly offensive. 1095 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:08,000 -Someone is menses. -No. 1096 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:09,000 [crowd laughing] 1097 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,000 That debate is certainly settled. 1098 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,000 Let's throw it to the audience for questions. 1099 00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,000 You, sir. 1100 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000 Herschel, wow. It's amazing to talk to you. 1101 00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,000 What an honor. 1102 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,000 Honor to be here. 1103 00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,000 I was wondering how you felt about the taxes 1104 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,000 that are crushing small businesses. 1105 00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:25,000 I'm glad you ask. 1106 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000 You tax Herschel, Herschel will do 1107 00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,000 violence to you. 1108 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:30,000 Yes, terrible violence! 1109 00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:31,000 [all cheering] 1110 00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,000 Miss. 1111 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,000 Herschel, have you considered running for office? 1112 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,000 I would like office. 1113 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:42,000 [all cheering] 1114 00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:48,000 I would like big office. 1115 00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:57,000 I would like biggest office in America! 1116 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,000 Huge office! 1117 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:04,000 Oh, how about you? In the back. 1118 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:08,000 Yes, the shapely young woman in the back row. Cannot see. 1119 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:11,000 [man] Yes, thank you. Hello. Thank you. 1120 01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,000 I was wondering what your thoughts are 1121 01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,000 on Christian prayer in public schools. 1122 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,000 Yes, thank you. 1123 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:23,000 Oh, simple question. Easy to answer. 1124 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,000 I don't think I'm saying anything controversial 1125 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:29,000 when I say everybody know Jesus Christ mother 1126 01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,000 was prostitute. 1127 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000 -[all gasp] -And she invent story 1128 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000 of Christianity 1129 01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,000 to cover up fact that she prostitute. 1130 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000 So if you believe in Jesus, 1131 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,000 you are stupid idiot. 1132 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:42,000 You suck, Herschel! I'm gonna get you! 1133 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,000 [siren wailing] 1134 01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,000 [door opening] 1135 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000 [female reporter] We interrupt your 1136 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,000 regularly scheduled program 1137 01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:02,000 to bring you this special report. 1138 01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:05,000 Herschel Greenbaum the time-traveling immigrant 1139 01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:07,000 who captured America's hearts and minds 1140 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,000 has fallen hard from grace. 1141 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:11,000 The public outcry against his bigotry 1142 01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:13,000 is spreading throughout the country. 1143 01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,000 He's been condemned by leaders on the left and right. 1144 01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,000 And that's not all. 1145 01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,000 Authorities are apparently calling for his deportation. 1146 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:23,000 Due to an outdated filing system 1147 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000 at the Ellis Island storage facility, 1148 01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000 his paperwork cannot be located. 1149 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,000 Therefore, his citizenship has been revoked. 1150 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:34,000 If you have information about the whereabouts 1151 01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:37,000 of the fugitive illegal alien Herschel Greenbaum, 1152 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:39,000 please call the tip hotline below. 1153 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:42,000 [host on TV] I just feel bad for this guy at this point. 1154 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:43,000 Look, I don't see how Herschel 1155 01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000 can come back from this one, folks. 1156 01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000 Everyone has deserted him. He's alone in the world. 1157 01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000 His life is in ruins. 1158 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000 And the only person he has to blame for all of it, 1159 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:51,000 I'm sorry, 1160 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,000 is Herschel Greenbaum. 1161 01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:54,000 [glass breaking] 1162 01:01:55,000 --> 01:01:57,000 The hell? 1163 01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:58,000 Dude. 1164 01:01:58,000 --> 01:01:59,000 Dude! 1165 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,000 Stop! 1166 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,000 Herschel, what the hell, man? What are you doing? 1167 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,000 These Christians, they try to kill me. 1168 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:07,000 They're not trying to kill you, Herschel. 1169 01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,000 They just wanna send you back to Schlupsk. 1170 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:13,000 Is worse! I never go back to Schlupsk. 1171 01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,000 Everything me and Sarah sacrificed 1172 01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:18,000 to come here is for nothing. 1173 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000 Well, I don't know what to tell you, man. 1174 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:21,000 I can't do anything for you. 1175 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,000 There is something. 1176 01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000 You must smuggle Herschel away from American authorities. 1177 01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,000 What? 1178 01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,000 I have accepted I have new fate. 1179 01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,000 I will move to Canada, 1180 01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:35,000 become icicle man. 1181 01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,000 I will trade beaver for fire. 1182 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000 It's not ideal. But this is what must happen. 1183 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,000 I'm terribly sorry this is happening to you 1184 01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,000 and that everyone's turned on you 1185 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,000 because you've said truly despicable things. 1186 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000 But I'm not gonna risk getting arrested again 1187 01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:52,000 to help you. 1188 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000 Is not help. 1189 01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,000 Is trade. 1190 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:01,000 "Trade"? 1191 01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,000 I know you do not like Herschel. 1192 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000 I know you think your life better 1193 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,000 before Herschel. 1194 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,000 You take me to Canada, 1195 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,000 you never have to see me again. 1196 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,000 All right. 1197 01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:24,000 Ten miles to Canada, no roads, no checkpoints. 1198 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,000 Just walk from here. 1199 01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,000 This will work. 1200 01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:38,000 [mysterious music playing] 1201 01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000 [both grunting] 1202 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,000 -[Ben grunts] -[thuds] 1203 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,000 [groans] 1204 01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,000 Very good. 1205 01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:40,000 [shivering] 1206 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,000 We stay warm together. 1207 01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,000 Thank you. 1208 01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:17,000 [Ben] There's the border. 1209 01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:20,000 We made it. 1210 01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000 [vehicle approaching] 1211 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,000 Oh, shit. Someone's coming. Here. 1212 01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,000 Come on. Here, come on, come on. 1213 01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000 This way, this way. 1214 01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:34,000 [officer] Stop. Stop! 1215 01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:40,000 [grunts] 1216 01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,000 [indistinct chatter] 1217 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,000 Looks like they're just taking a break or something. 1218 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:54,000 So we'll just chill here till they're gone. 1219 01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:55,000 You do not mind? 1220 01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:57,000 No, I don't mind. 1221 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000 -Is there a lot of woods in Schlupsk? 1222 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:04,000 -Forest. 1223 01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,000 -What's the difference? -Wolves. 1224 01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:07,000 Oh, wow. 1225 01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:10,000 Sarah loved to chase wolf. 1226 01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,000 She would club them with stick, 1227 01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,000 hit them with rock, kill them. 1228 01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:16,000 Very good time. 1229 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,000 She sounds pretty amazing. 1230 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,000 I wish I could have met her. 1231 01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:23,000 Although, maybe it's for the best that I didn't. 1232 01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:25,000 Why you say this? 1233 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,000 I'm probably not, like, 1234 01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,000 the best-case scenario for what the family's become. 1235 01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:33,000 She probably wouldn't be too psyched to, 1236 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,000 you know, to see who I am. 1237 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,000 Not so sure. 1238 01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:45,000 Perhaps once I live in Canada, 1239 01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,000 you come to visit Herschel. 1240 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:52,000 You know, maybe-- 1241 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000 -Maybe you don't have to go to Canada. 1242 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:58,000 -What do you mean? 1243 01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,000 I mean, now that I think about it, 1244 01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:05,000 you know, maybe we just haven't exhausted all of our options. 1245 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000 You don't have to go hide in Canada for the rest 1246 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000 of your life. 1247 01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,000 We'll fix this, and in the meantime, 1248 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:12,000 you can stay with me. We'll figure it out. 1249 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,000 You do not want this. 1250 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:15,000 What do you mean? 1251 01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,000 You try to get rid of Herschel. 1252 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:20,000 Take Herschel to middle of wilderness 1253 01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:21,000 to take Herschel to Canada. 1254 01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,000 You hate Herschel. 1255 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:34,000 I'm just gonna tell you this, man. 1256 01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:36,000 I'm the one who called the Health Department on you. 1257 01:07:36,000 --> 01:07:39,000 I got you shut down. That was me. 1258 01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:40,000 And that's not all I did. 1259 01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,000 I told you to go on Twitter, 1260 01:07:42,000 --> 01:07:45,000 knowing you would say despicable things. 1261 01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:46,000 You always do. 1262 01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000 And I did that to sabotage your business. 1263 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,000 Is this it? 1264 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:53,000 No. After the Twitter thing didn't destroy you, 1265 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,000 I attended the debate you were having. 1266 01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:57,000 I went to the back row and I disguised my voice 1267 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:01,000 and I asked the question about Christian prayer in school. 1268 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:04,000 I knew exactly what you were gonna say. 1269 01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:06,000 I'm so sorry, Herschel. 1270 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000 It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it. 1271 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,000 I caused this whole thing to happen. Do you forgive me? 1272 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:12,000 [grunts] 1273 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000 -Wait. -You are traitor 1274 01:08:12,000 --> 01:08:15,000 to your family! 1275 01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,000 You are not Jew! 1276 01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:31,000 Hey! Hey, you! Stop right there! 1277 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,000 232, requesting backup. 1278 01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:34,000 [thrilling music playing] 1279 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,000 [officer] Where'd he go? 1280 01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000 I think it's that pickle guy from the news. 1281 01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,000 Come on. 1282 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,000 Herschel Greenbaum! 1283 01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,000 We know you're out there. 1284 01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,000 [panting] 1285 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:04,000 [whirring] 1286 01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:09,000 Where is this guy? 1287 01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:11,000 Hello there, dudes. 1288 01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,000 Who are you? 1289 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,000 I am Ben Greenbaum. 1290 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,000 Where's Herschel Greenbaum? 1291 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,000 Herschel is back there. 1292 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,000 You better get him before he escapes. 1293 01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,000 I'm on it. 1294 01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,000 -All right. You're free to go. -Found him! 1295 01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,000 Thanks. 1296 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:30,000 All right, get up. 1297 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,000 All right, we got him. 1298 01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,000 We got a positive ID on Herschel Greenbaum. 1299 01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000 -You have the right to remain silent. 1300 01:09:34,000 --> 01:09:36,000 -[Ben] What? 1301 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000 Anything you say can and will be used against you 1302 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,000 in a court of law. 1303 01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,000 [reporter] And now, breaking news. 1304 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000 This is Susan O'Malley standing inside the Manhattan Federal 1305 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:46,000 Courthouse 1306 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000 for what has been labeled one of the most bizarre trials 1307 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:50,000 of the century. 1308 01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,000 Herschel Greenbaum has been deemed 1309 01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:54,000 a persona non grata on American soil. 1310 01:09:55,000 --> 01:09:57,000 His deportation trial got off to a strange start 1311 01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:01,000 as his lawyer put forth a truly unexpected defense, 1312 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,000 that Herschel Greenbaum was not, 1313 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:06,000 in fact, actually Herschel Greenbaum. 1314 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:09,000 This is Ben Greenbaum. 1315 01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,000 This is Herschel 1316 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,000 who switched places with him because as you can see 1317 01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:18,000 Herschel Greenbaum has a beard 1318 01:10:18,000 --> 01:10:21,000 whereas my client, Ben, has no beard. 1319 01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,000 I object, Your Honor. 1320 01:10:23,000 --> 01:10:25,000 What precedent are we setting here? 1321 01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:28,000 That the defendant isn't actually the defendant? 1322 01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:32,000 Well, then, maybe Charles Manson 1323 01:10:32,000 --> 01:10:36,000 wasn't actually Charles Manson. 1324 01:10:36,000 --> 01:10:37,000 Let me try something really fast. 1325 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:41,000 So I'm me, I'm me, the guy you know. 1326 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,000 Is this a new guy? 1327 01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:48,000 With that, I move to dismiss the defense's entire case. 1328 01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,000 Granted. 1329 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,000 Court adjourned. 1330 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000 [reporter] Herschel was quickly put on a ship 1331 01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:54,000 back to Eastern Europe 1332 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,000 returning to his home country of Schlupsk. 1333 01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:00,000 And with that, America can finally rest easy. 1334 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:03,000 The abomination known as Herschel Greenbaum 1335 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:07,000 will never wreak havoc on our great land ever again. 1336 01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,000 Back to you, Jim. 1337 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,000 [somber music playing] 1338 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,000 Oh, Sarah. 1339 01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,000 "Boop. Bop." 1340 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:03,000 [somber music playing] 1341 01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:18,000 [man shouting indistinctly] 1342 01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,000 Excuse me, do you speak English? 1343 01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,000 No? 1344 01:13:30,000 --> 01:13:32,000 Excuse me. Hi. 1345 01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:35,000 Do you guys speak English? No? No? 1346 01:13:35,000 --> 01:13:38,000 Thank you. Thank you. 1347 01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:43,000 Hello. 1348 01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:45,000 Excuse me? 1349 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:47,000 Excuse me, hi. 1350 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,000 I need help. I'm very cold. 1351 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,000 Do you know where maybe they'll help me? 1352 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,000 Do you know where I could go for some help? 1353 01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,000 Thank you. 1354 01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,000 [speaking indistinctly] 1355 01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,000 [speaking foreign language] 1356 01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:51,000 I only speak English. I'm sorry. 1357 01:14:53,000 --> 01:14:55,000 [in English] You are Jew? 1358 01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,000 Yeah. 1359 01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:03,000 We are need ten Jew men for make minyan 1360 01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,000 for Kaddish. 1361 01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,000 Prayer for dead. 1362 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:15,000 I don't know the words to the prayers. I'm sorry-- 1363 01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:16,000 Is fine! 1364 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:36,000 [all praying in foreign language] 1365 01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:54,000 Amen. 1366 01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:03,000 Amen. 1367 01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:09,000 Are you okay? 1368 01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,000 Yeah, I've... 1369 01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:16,000 I've lost some people. 1370 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,000 Who? 1371 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,000 My parents. 1372 01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:32,000 [continues praying] 1373 01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,000 [man clears throat] 1374 01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:58,000 Hello. 1375 01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:05,000 Is Herschel. 1376 01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,000 Yeah, I figured that out. 1377 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:13,000 Alexa tell me how to fly here. 1378 01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:19,000 I am truly sorry for doing violence to you. 1379 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:22,000 And getting you deported to Schlupsk. 1380 01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:26,000 I was wrong. 1381 01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,000 It's okay. 1382 01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,000 Is not okay. 1383 01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:35,000 I was wrong about you. 1384 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:54,000 I thought you did not care about family. 1385 01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:56,000 But now I see with your Boop Bops, 1386 01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:59,000 you were just trying to honor family. 1387 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,000 This is why you do not sell Boop Bops 1388 01:18:02,000 --> 01:18:04,000 and you sit alone all day. 1389 01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:07,000 Not because you are coward. 1390 01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:09,000 You not sell Boop Bops 1391 01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:12,000 because you are afraid to let down family. 1392 01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:14,000 But you do not. 1393 01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:18,000 I never met mother or father, 1394 01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:21,000 but they would be proud. 1395 01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:23,000 Sarah would be proud. 1396 01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:25,000 I am very proud. 1397 01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,000 You make my vow come true. 1398 01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:33,000 You are everything I hoped family would become. 1399 01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,000 Thank you. 1400 01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:41,000 Thank you. 1401 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,000 All right. Come. 1402 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,000 I would like to show you some place. 1403 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000 [Ben] This place is really nice. 1404 01:18:52,000 --> 01:18:56,000 I really get it. 1405 01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:59,000 [Herschel] It's very special place. 1406 01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,000 This was Sarah's favorite place. 1407 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,000 She had good taste. 1408 01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,000 She would be very happy to know you see this place. 1409 01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:09,000 I'm glad I got to see it. 1410 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:13,000 You know, I had an idea the other day. 1411 01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:15,000 What? What is idea? 1412 01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:17,000 Promise not to laugh? 1413 01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,000 I promise. 1414 01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:22,000 Okay, so people love your pickles. 1415 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:25,000 -They do. It's true. -Can't get enough of 'em. 1416 01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:27,000 It's the brine. It make people go crazy. 1417 01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,000 And, you know, I'm good with the internet, 1418 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,000 good at building websites, things like that. 1419 01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:34,000 So I thought maybe I can build a website, 1420 01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,000 we sell your pickles to people all around the world. 1421 01:19:37,000 --> 01:19:38,000 Family business. 1422 01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,000 Yeah. Family business. 1423 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,000 You can pickle more things than cucumbers these days. 1424 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,000 You can pickle watermelon. You can pickle strawberries. 1425 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:47,000 They pickle fruit these days? 1426 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,000 Oh, yeah. You thought they were milking a lot? 1427 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:50,000 Wait till you hear what they're pickling. 1428 01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:52,000 Just when I think I figure it out, 1429 01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,000 you throw a pickled watermelon at me. I'm like, "Oof!" 1430 01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:57,000 It's a crazy world out there, man. 1431 01:19:57,000 --> 01:19:59,000 Many people still hate Herschel very much. 1432 01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:01,000 That is true. 1433 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000 I say many terrible things. And if one thing true 1434 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,000 in America, 1435 01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,000 once you say terrible things, you will never be success. 1436 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,000 That is not true. At all. 1437 01:20:08,000 --> 01:20:09,000 Oh, that's great news. 1438 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:12,000 Still, we should make some apologies. 1439 01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:17,000 All I know is that whatever we do next, 1440 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,000 we should do it together. 1441 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,000 Together? 1442 01:20:22,000 --> 01:20:24,000 Yeah. 1443 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:26,000 Together. 1444 01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,000 [uplifting music playing] 1445 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:14,000 Do you wanna pray? 1446 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:21,000 You do not mind? 1447 01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000 I don't mind. 1448 01:21:34,000 --> 01:21:35,000 [praying in foreign language] 1449 01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,000 Amen. 1450 01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,000 Amen. 1451 01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,000 [Herschel] I like her very much. 1452 01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,000 -Barbra Streisand? -Yes. 1453 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:26,000 This her name? Barbra Streisand. 1454 01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,000 -Babs. -Babs. 1455 01:22:28,000 --> 01:22:30,000 -She very pretty. -Oh, yeah. 1456 01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:31,000 She is Jew. 1457 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:32,000 Oh, yes. 1458 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,000 She is a Jew. 1459 01:22:34,000 --> 01:22:36,000 Very much Jew. 1460 01:22:36,000 --> 01:22:38,000 [Herschel] Very attractive trait, 1461 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,000 dress like boy to go to yeshiva. 1462 01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,000 I've always said that. 1463 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,000 She little Jew boy. She dress like little Jew boy. 1464 01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:46,000 But little Jew woman underneath there. 1465 01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:50,000 I like this film very much. 1466 01:22:50,000 --> 01:22:52,000 You're really coloring it in a new way. 1467 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:53,000 It's very naughty. 1468 01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,000 It is super naughty the way you describe it. Yeah. 1469 01:22:55,000 --> 01:22:58,000 -[Herschel] She is married. -She is. 1470 01:22:58,000 --> 01:23:00,000 -One day, Barbra Streisand. -[laughs] 1471 01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:02,000 One day. 94468

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