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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:42,318 Normally, I know how to start any article I write, any column, 2 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,038 because I won't even sit down to write 3 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,918 until I have the opening sentence planned. 4 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,556 But beginning this, which is a rather strange story, 5 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:56,111 is difficult because it started in such an unexpected way. 6 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,154 I am in somebody else's house, a rather magnificent house, in fact, 7 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:06,153 surrounded by three Dalmatians. 8 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,674 The dogs belong to a person I hardly know, 9 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,992 but who has had a most peculiar effect on me. 10 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,270 How has this all come about? 11 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,669 (CLOCK CHIMING SOFTLY) 12 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,117 When you're a film critic, 13 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,395 you don't tend to get invited to an awful lot of parties 14 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:28,471 by people in the entertainment industry, 15 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:33,156 because they are, rather understandably, very wary of you. 16 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:34,355 Some of them hate you, 17 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,512 and they scuttle off as quick as they can. 18 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,831 But since I've given up being a critic and started this column, 19 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,912 I find myself altogether more popular. 20 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,116 Invited to all sorts of places. 21 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,273 And one of those being Pinewood Studios, 22 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,079 the heart of the British film industry. 23 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,871 I was determined to be on my best behaviour. 24 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,552 Merely observe, 25 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:13,189 and not start any argument about the insularity of British film, 26 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:17,239 which I know I've railed about week after week with tedious regularity. 27 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:21,029 I thought I would be entering a very hierarchical world. 28 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,908 The film directors arriving in their chauffeur-driven Bentleys, 29 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,797 and young actresses, 30 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:30,111 being treated with patronising jollity by these same directors. 31 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,031 "No, darling, that's not how you do it. 32 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:36,113 "Surely you can pick up a cigarette lighter and talk at the same time?" 33 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,033 He'll wink at the surrounding male technicians, 34 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,634 and then the director rolls his eyes and sighs, 35 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,518 "I'll have to show you, darling, won't I?" 36 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,757 Disappointingly, that is precisely what I found, except more so. 37 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:53,513 And naturally, my silence didn't last long. 38 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,560 At lunch, in their panelled boardroom, 39 00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,756 we were served some particularly leathery roast beef. 40 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,276 Maybe it was the experience of trying to cut this meat, 41 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,590 which had the consistency of a Wellington boot, 42 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,513 but I suddenly heard myself 43 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,910 asking the assembled filmmakers and producers 44 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,834 whether they were ever tempted to leave the safety of the studio 45 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:20,550 and the pretty Pinewood garden and shoot an entire film on location, 46 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:24,474 like some Italian and American directors had done? 47 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:29,509 "Go to an industrial city, or the wilds of Northumberland," I urged. 48 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,990 Incredulity spread across the dining room. 49 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,437 "But surely you understand," they said, talking very slowly, 50 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,670 "how films are really made? 51 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,753 "All the lights that are required, the stars' dressing rooms?" 52 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,479 One of the producers leans towards me. 53 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,516 "It is the story that matters, surely you know that. 54 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,910 "You know, why should you care where a film is made, 55 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,310 "or what the Italians and the Americans are doing?" 56 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,833 Put on the defensive, I'm afraid 57 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,629 I uttered the fatal words. Very pompous, I know. 58 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:11,236 "But I care about what they're doing because I'm passionate about cinema. " 59 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,311 This was greeted 60 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,188 with one of the most embarrassed silences I've ever heard. 61 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:23,068 It was as if I'd come out with a volley of obscenities. 62 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:27,278 The word "passionate" uttered in the boardroom of Pinewood Studios. 63 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,919 Surely not. 64 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,360 Well, after that, I was in a hurry to get away. 65 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:41,113 But there was a cocktail party at a film producer's house 66 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,873 and Cary Grant was expected, 67 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,076 travelling all the way from Elstree Studios 68 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,879 where he's making the movie Indiscreet. 69 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,632 The film producer's house was quite near the studio, 70 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,836 a large mock-Tudor mansion. 71 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,553 Naturally, there's no sign of Cary Grant. 72 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:07,235 Suddenly, I'm approached by a young woman. 73 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,676 And let us call her Felicity, although that is not her real name. 74 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,672 She's about my own age, with an open, pretty face. 75 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,958 She says she hasn't the faintest idea why she's here in this garden, 76 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,554 with all these people from the film world. 77 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,835 Why she's been invited, she hasn't the foggiest clue. 78 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,956 It can only be a mistake. 79 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,472 She asks me who I was and what I did. 80 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:35,112 "Oh, you must be frightfully brainy," she says. 81 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,795 Well, modesty demanded that at least I tried to deny this. 82 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:45,149 "No, no, you're obviously so brainy, and that's marvellous," she insists. 83 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,037 "I like clever people," she giggles. 84 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,396 "Actually, I don't get to meet very many. 85 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,712 "And as for me, I'm a real dunce. I can't hide it, so I just admit it. " 86 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,358 (GIGGLES) 87 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,069 She's laughing away merrily, almost boastfully. 88 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,676 Suddenly, her face is quite close, her pale blue eyes studying me. 89 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,833 "How do you choose what to write about in your column every week?" 90 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,634 You know, I'm often asked this, and I try my best to be vague, 91 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,553 because the truth is embarrassingly chaotic and last minute. 92 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,835 So I'm just about to give my usual evasive answer, 93 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,912 when she says, "Why don't you write about me?" 94 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,636 This I was not expecting. 95 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,676 "Write about you?" 96 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,558 I can't quite keep the amazement out of my voice. 97 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,200 "Yes!" she beams at me. 98 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,868 I have to admit, it is rare for me not to know what to say next. 99 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,871 Eventually, I manage a blank, non-committal, 100 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,077 "Well, I don't normally write about specific people. " 101 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,515 Felicity is not impressed by this argument. 102 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,034 "Oh, don't you? Why ever not? 103 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,714 "Then you should start with a dimwit like me. 104 00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:01,158 "Because if you can make me interesting, then you really would be a good writer. " 105 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,232 What do you say to something like that? 106 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,598 I was trying hard not to be rude, but I knew I had to get rid of her. 107 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,592 For some reason, all I could manage was a feeble, 108 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,116 "Well, I have to know more about you before I could... " 109 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,873 Felicity seizes on this. 110 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,793 "That's easy. Let's have tea, then. 111 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,758 "I'm... I'm sure you're frightfully busy, 112 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,753 "but maybe you can fit in a tiny tea with me. " 113 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:48,197 So I find myself having a tiny tea in Fuller's in Knightsbridge. 114 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,431 Felicity is eating a bright pink strawberry ice cream. 115 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,115 She's asked for two extra wafers, which she's eating first. 116 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,679 In between munches, she suddenly says, "Do you have a husband? 117 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,514 "Or a boyfriend or a scrumptious lover of some sort?" 118 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,229 I said, "Not at the moment. " 119 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,471 There's a pause, and Felicity's face clouds over. 120 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,196 "I was nearly married. I was engaged, 121 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,315 "but then I discovered 122 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,312 "he was still rogering about four of his ex-girlfriends. 123 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,153 "At least four. He was clearly not going to 124 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:27,074 "let a little thing like a wedding with me stop him. " 125 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:31,995 "My family were very disappointed. He was thought of as quite a catch. 126 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,071 "They didn't think his bottom going up and down 127 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,991 "in lots of different bedrooms all over London 128 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,356 "was nearly a strong enough reason for stopping the marriage. " 129 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,237 She waves her wafer. 130 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,752 "You know, 131 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,400 "my sister Georgina's about to come out. 132 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,673 "It is the last season. 133 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:53,196 "The last time the debs are going to be presented to the Queen. 134 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,398 "Isn't that extraordinary? Stopping it after all this time. " 135 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,159 "Were you presented to the Queen?" I ask, unnecessarily. 136 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,912 Her face lights up. 137 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,197 "Oh, yes. All us virgins sitting in Buckingham Palace 138 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,874 "in neat rows, and then curtseying to the Queen. 139 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,748 "And then curtseying to a giant cake at the Queen Charlotte's Ball. 140 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:22,432 "Isn't that just completely crackers? 141 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,318 "All these women and a large cake. And, 142 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,674 "when you finally got to eat it, 143 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,797 "it turned out to be a horrible old fruitcake. " 144 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,194 And then she's off, prattling on about life as a deb, 145 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,989 all these balls and dances in these great houses. 146 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,196 Floodlit gardens, the incredible time and effort 147 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,113 that went into arranging the whole thing. 148 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,998 Desperation of the mothers. 149 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,229 Terrible fear of rejection 150 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,232 if you didn't get enough partners during each night. 151 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,912 And the dreamlike nature of it all, 152 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,037 because you're so short of sleep all the time. 153 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,630 "My father's a duke," Felicity says, looking straight at me. 154 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,429 And then, as if willing me to look disapproving, she adds, 155 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,954 "Afraid that is the case. 156 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,237 "Not a really, really big duke, although he's quite tall, 157 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,550 "more a sort of middling one. 158 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,555 "Quite an ancient title, you know, all the things that come with that, 159 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,234 "the big house in the country, 160 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,471 "lots of dogs and a terrifying old nanny. 161 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,589 "Nanny Luckham. 162 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:35,229 "She taught me practically nothing except how to make queen's pudding, 163 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,471 "which is, in fact, quite difficult. 164 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,073 "You know, she was a better cook than the cook. 165 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,355 "That is what she should have been doing. 166 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,512 "All sorts of things might have been different. " 167 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,110 She stares for a long moment at her last wafer 168 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,670 as she contemplates the badly organised servants. 169 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,193 "What does your father do?" she says, still staring at the wafer. 170 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,630 I tell her the truth, that he is a carpenter. 171 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,188 She is completely stunned. 172 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:10,068 "Oh. My goodness, really? 173 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,116 "You're being serious?" 174 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,633 I can't resist piling it on, 175 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,836 because I know my northern background will make it even worse. 176 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,878 "Yes, a carpenter in Manchester. 177 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,229 "That is where I was brought up. " 178 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,278 Felicity takes a moment to digest this. 179 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,875 It is as if she'd known I was different, but not that different, 180 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,190 and maybe all this was too much to handle 181 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,033 and the tea should come to an abrupt end. 182 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:39,471 (CLOCK CHIMES SOFTLY) 183 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,433 After due consideration, she decides to let it continue 184 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,432 and wants to hear all about my scholarship to Oxford, 185 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,318 when I lost my Manchester accent, how my parents view me now. 186 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,868 And all the time, she's interjecting, 187 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,758 "You're even brainier than I thought you were. 188 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,400 "Here I am, knowing simply nothing. " 189 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,392 I think maybe I should at least try to contradict this for politeness' sake, 190 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,553 but for the first time, Felicity becomes quite forceful. 191 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,359 "No, it is true. 192 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,115 "I know absolutely nothing, I promise you. " 193 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,679 Her eyes are fierce. 194 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,514 She won't be contradicted. I have to nod and agree with her. 195 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,919 "I could've known more. 196 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,798 "I met George Bernard Shaw, for instance. 197 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,599 "Sat on his knee when he came to stay with us. 198 00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,148 "And I went to Queen Mary's funeral with my father, 199 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,708 "because my mother was away in the country. 200 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,268 "And I met the Duke of Windsor there. 201 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,796 "Did you know, the royal family had a meal that night, all together, 202 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,632 "and they never invited him? 203 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,712 "The day of his own mother's funeral. 204 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,712 "How could they have done that? 205 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,758 "Mind you, he's meant to be thicker than me. " 206 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,634 She then leans towards me and fixes me with an intense look. 207 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,517 She says slowly, 208 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:02,276 "Somebody at the party said you were very pleased with yourself. " 209 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,868 Well, I... 210 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,236 I try to take this in my stride. Probably not very successfully, 211 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,756 because undoubtedly, there is a shred of truth in it. 212 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,718 So I mutter something along the line of, 213 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,917 "I really hope I didn't give that impression. " 214 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,434 Felicity continues to peer at me. 215 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:27,190 "I don't think it's true," she finally pronounces, 216 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,669 and then she smiles. 217 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,479 "You said you were passionate about cinema. 218 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,870 "That made them very cross. Very cross indeed. 219 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,837 "I'm glad you did, though. 220 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,718 "What a wonderful thing to be, 221 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,279 "passionate. " 222 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,751 Suddenly, she's in very close, her tone almost urgent. 223 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,631 "You know, 224 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,280 "I have never been to a foreign film. 225 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,078 "Ever. 226 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,754 "Will you take me to one?" 227 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,353 I hesitate. 228 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,759 The very last thing I want to do 229 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:05,355 is act as a one-woman finishing school for this ex-deb. 230 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,835 Her eyes are pleading with me. 231 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,673 "Please, Mary, do that for me?" 232 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,518 So, I take her to a little cinema tucked behind Paddington Station. 233 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,558 I had no idea what sort of foreign film she wanted to see, 234 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,634 so I decided on Henri-Georges Clouzot's Les Diaboliques. 235 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,554 Strong story, I told myself. One that was easy to follow. 236 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:51,995 As we approach the cinema, 237 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,516 a thunderstorm explodes over the dark streets of Paddington. 238 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,398 And inside, the auditorium is almost empty, 239 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:03,190 except for three strange-looking men, two of them grotesquely fat. 240 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:07,159 So the atmosphere's a little eerie even before the film begins. 241 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,275 Just as the film starts, 242 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,909 one of the grotesques comes and sits right behind us, 243 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,754 wheezing and blowing smoke against our necks. 244 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,354 Now, those of you who have seen Les Diaboliques 245 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,398 will know it casts a spell of extraordinary evil, 246 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,879 rancid and claustrophobic. 247 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,713 I have to admit, even though I've seen it three times, 248 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,156 and know the twist, even I still find it quite frightening. 249 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:36,191 About halfway through, Felicity clasps hold of my arm, 250 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,679 holding it so tight it hurts, 251 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,876 and doesn't let go till the end of the film. 252 00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,111 She's like a child on a roller coaster. 253 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,760 And when it's a particularly nasty murder, 254 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:50,436 somebody being held down in a bath, she lets out a mewl-like cry. 255 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:51,953 (MEWLING) 256 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,232 And when we creep around the house near the end of the film 257 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,355 and visit another bathroom 258 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,670 and see a corpse rise from under the water, 259 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,513 which causes the heroine to have a fatal heart attack, 260 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,434 I can feel Felicity's breathing getting faster and faster. 261 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,317 And I glance at her. 262 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,109 Her eyes are full of terror. 263 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,595 I don't think I've ever seen anybody look quite so afraid. 264 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,552 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 265 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:38,759 Even before the lights come up, I feel terrible. 266 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,308 I have punished her for asking for my help, 267 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,198 by taking her to the most terrifying film I could find 268 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:45,508 in a seedy cinema 269 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,388 where we're menaced by ghoulish men sitting right behind us. 270 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,357 Outside, on the pavement, as the rain lashes down, 271 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,158 Felicity turns towards me. 272 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,595 She's standing without an umbrella, getting completely soaked. 273 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,511 Her eyes are shining. 274 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,148 "Mary, 275 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,233 "that was the most wonderful film I've ever seen. 276 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:15,108 "It was fantastic. It was completely gorgeous. " 277 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,760 We walk in the rain for a little while. 278 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,115 I have a strong sense of what her next question will be, 279 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,997 and I know I'm going to say yes. 280 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,231 She stops and stares straight at me. 281 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,959 "We can't, can we? Go to another flick together? 282 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,031 "Or maybe a play? Something new and different. 283 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,712 "I've heard about all these new sorts of plays, 284 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,234 "with lavatories on stage and ironing boards 285 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,515 "and people boiling kettles!" 286 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,958 I realise 287 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,077 I'm going to spend a few more days with Felicity. 288 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:49,039 She's obviously decided I'm going to be her own private guide to this new world, 289 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:52,078 and I find it impossible to say no. 290 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,957 I have to admit, and you've already guessed this, 291 00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:02,672 I was getting rather intrigued by her, although I can't quite work out why. 292 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,149 There's a loneliness there, obviously. 293 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,516 But also a hunger. 294 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,318 And a sense of fun. 295 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,993 She's obviously decided I'm going to be 296 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,275 her own private guide to this new world, 297 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,397 and I find it impossible to say no. 298 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,390 So during this last season, 299 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:34,359 as the debs are being presented for their final curtsey to the Queen, 300 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,795 Felicity and I go on an alternative season, 301 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,553 an orgy of avant-garde work. 302 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,393 We see a play at the Royal Court about a working class family 303 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,358 with a very provocative title, Live Like Pigs. 304 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,749 We go and see Ingmar Bergman's Wild Strawberries, 305 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,071 which has been such a critical sensation this month. 306 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,071 And we see a play at Stratford East 307 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,357 by a 19-year-old girl from Salford, Shelagh Delaney, 308 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,989 called A Taste of Honey, which is amazing. 309 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:04,039 And we see a rather good amateur production of Waiting for Godot. 310 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:08,591 "I think Godot must be rather like my doctor," pronounces Felicity. 311 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,629 "He always says, 'I'll pop round,' but he usually finds an excuse not to. " 312 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,872 I also take Felicity to a royal gala premiere of a British war film 313 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,033 where she can see all Pinewood's finest on display. 314 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,315 I hear her voice ringing out loudly 315 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,197 across the foyer of the Empire Leicester Square 316 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,512 before the film starts, just as Jack Hawkins walks past. 317 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,636 "I have a new love in my life. 318 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,871 "This adorable mad Irishman, Mr Samuel Beckett. " 319 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,837 You know, all the time 320 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,515 she is anxious to show me bits of her world. 321 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,556 We drive along Park Lane. 322 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,674 And watch all the debs pour into their balls, 323 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,194 stare through lighted windows at all the decorations, 324 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,956 and see party goers drunkenly throwing bits of food and clothing 325 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:10,830 out of the window of their hotel suites onto the heads of the passers-by below. 326 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,036 Four days ago, 327 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,031 we were coming out of a special press preview 328 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,076 of Mr Hitchcock's Vertigo, 329 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,596 a very dark and dreamlike movie about obsessive love, 330 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,716 when Felicity turns to me. 331 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,319 "Well, Mary, 332 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,988 "I think you've changed my life. 333 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,149 "And I'm sure that's a good thing. 334 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,198 "In fact, I know that's an absolutely splendid thing. 335 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,918 "So I should give you a present. " 336 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,072 I remonstrate, "No, no, that's not necessary. 337 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,355 "It has been really good to see some of these plays and films again, 338 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,919 "watch them with new eyes 339 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,037 "and to discover some totally fresh things, too. " 340 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,634 Felicity is staring straight at me. 341 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:52,514 "Good. 342 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,319 "Then you won't mind very much, I know this is monstrous of me, 343 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,992 "if I ask you for yet another favour? 344 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,275 "Do you mind? Oh, well, here goes anyway. 345 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,679 "I have to go down to the country this week, 346 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,593 "my sister's having her coming-out ball there. 347 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,956 "And here in London, I have three dogs, Dalmatians, actually. 348 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,476 "Augustus, Beatrice and Tilly. I love Dalmatians. 349 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,279 "101 Dalmatians is one of my favourite books. 350 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,033 "And I don't want them to be alone for two days. 351 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,430 "You see, here in London, I've hardly any servants now. 352 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,717 "I can't really afford to run two big houses any more. 353 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,519 "My grandfather died suddenly in an accident 354 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,353 "and my father became duke very fast and had to move to the country, 355 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,476 "and everything's a bit of a muddle and... 356 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,438 "My dogs, very definitely, do not get on with the dogs in the country, 357 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,555 "and I don't want them to be alone 358 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,837 "with two grumpy chambermaids to look after them. 359 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,110 "Could you stay with them for two days?" 360 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,749 She's imploring me with her big eyes. "I mean, 361 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,115 "you might find it interesting, our house. 362 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:53,910 "You could poke around, find things to write about. 363 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,197 "And the chambermaids, they won't be grumpy with you. " 364 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,995 I'm speechless. Utterly speechless. 365 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,992 Her face is thrust close to mine, waiting for my answer. 366 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,718 And I realise, 367 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,792 here is somebody who is so used to getting what they want. 368 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:15,431 For that reason alone, I am trying my hardest to say no. 369 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:24,316 So, that is how I've ended up in this room, surrounded by Dalmatians. 370 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,995 Somehow, in the space of three weeks, after a chance meeting, 371 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,119 Felicity has scooped me up, I've given hours and hours of my time, 372 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:36,193 and now deposited me in this house, waited on by silent servants. 373 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,029 I'm even wearing my very best dress, 374 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,157 as if I were attending a great society occasion. 375 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,794 When, in fact, I'm here all on my own. 376 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,478 How has she managed to compel me to do this? 377 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:55,873 There is something about her to suggest that... 378 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,078 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 379 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,758 - Hello, Mary. - Hello, Geraldine. 380 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,037 - Here I am with the dogs. - Good. 381 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,076 This house is amazing. 382 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,799 Your great-grandfather seems to have built an Indian temple. 383 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,313 (CHUCKLES) 384 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,790 I've been reading your column. I saw it today. 385 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,919 You're making me sound too sensible. You haven't caught my full silliness. 386 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,958 Oh, I don't know about that. I'm doing my best. 387 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,031 Why did you call me Felicity? 388 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,996 - Oh, it's just a name. I needed a name. - You could have chosen a prettier name. 389 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,232 How are the dogs? 390 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,038 Oh, oh, the dogs are well. 391 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:53,873 I think at least Augustus quite likes me. 392 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,630 Augustus likes everybody. He has no judgement at all. 393 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,798 You all right, Geraldine? You sound a little angry with me. 394 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:04,991 No. No. 395 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,073 I'm just standing in the passage in a dress I might wear tomorrow. 396 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,469 I tried on two or three tonight. 397 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:18,798 Outside, there are 20 little Greek temples specially built for the ball. 398 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,393 Tomorrow they will all blaze with light 399 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,950 and it will be intoxicating and dreamlike. 400 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,316 - Well, it sounds spectacular. - I'm sure it will be. 401 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,312 I'm sitting now, it could make all the difference. 402 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,311 My mother keeps all the Sunday newspapers 403 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,152 for at least a year after they've appeared. 404 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,596 She never seems to read them, but she never throws them out. 405 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,558 So I've been able to read some of your old columns. 406 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,870 You're very outspoken, aren't you, Mary? 407 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,393 You don't mean rude? 408 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,913 Well, like I'm reading here. 409 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,869 "Kenneth More has all the sex appeal of an old English sheepdog. 410 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,632 "If we are to compete with the Americans, 411 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,870 "we have to find actors with real danger, 412 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,837 "and not just constantly feature chuckling men 413 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,514 "who never seem to have been young. " 414 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,795 Should you write about film actors like that, Mary? 415 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,871 Oh, I don't see why not. 416 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,633 But I agree, it could be a little wittier. 417 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,950 I like it how you blast everything, though. 418 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,032 Attacking lots of smug men, that's rather fun. 419 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,760 You're not exactly cruel, that isn't quite right... 420 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,149 You're impatient, Mary. 421 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,753 Impatient for change. 422 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,870 I'm sure that's what I am, yes. 423 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,916 I bet all your friends are saying, 424 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,638 "Why are you spending all that space 425 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,995 "writing about that silly young heiress, though? 426 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,719 "What could have possessed you? 427 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,872 "You've already spent two columns on her. " 428 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,916 That's what they're saying, aren't they? 429 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,629 - All your sophisticated friends. - Nobody has said that. 430 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,154 I'm not sure anybody's reading it, but nobody has said that. 431 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:48,958 You're lying, Mary. 432 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,952 You're not a very good liar, do you know that? 433 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,315 So people tell me. 434 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,789 The truth is, you got a bit fascinated with me. 435 00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,348 And yet, you don't really know why. 436 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,079 That is the truth. Yes. 437 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:06,311 Have you poked about in all my cupboards yet, like I told you? 438 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:10,473 Tried on my shoes? I'm sure we've both got the same nice feet. 439 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,916 Read my diary? Have you? 440 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,797 Well, how do I answer that? 441 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,394 You won't believe me if I say no. 442 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,550 - So you have, then? - Not yet. 443 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,156 Go ahead. Go on. 444 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,752 Promise me you will. 445 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,436 If you insist, I will promise. 446 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,877 You know, I quite like the Felicity you created in your column. 447 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,190 Made me laugh, some of it. 448 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,998 When we went off to see that play 449 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,913 about the two queer Italian trapeze artists. 450 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,560 That was jolly. 451 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,108 At the time it was funny, but you made it funnier. 452 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,599 Well, good. 453 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,153 But she is not me. 454 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,037 No, not completely. I've not got all of you, not yet. 455 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,557 Not so far. 456 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,108 You're a detective now, are you? 457 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,794 Going to get to the bottom of things. 458 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,718 Mary, if only I wasn't here. 459 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,631 - You can't imagine what it's like. - Geraldine? 460 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:22,879 What is it? 461 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,593 Got to go. 462 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,629 Got to go, Mary. 463 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,434 I'll call you later. 464 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,511 Be by the phone at 11:00. 465 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,878 Be there for me, Mary. 466 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,071 (CLOCK TICKING) 467 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,313 She's late. 468 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,751 Why am I so concerned about her, Augustus? 469 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,398 I don't know why I should think anything's the matter, 470 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,314 anything more than she's a bit sad today, a bit melancholic. 471 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,392 I don't know why I'm really worried about her. 472 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,236 But I must be, mustn't I? Because I'm talking to you. 473 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:52,228 (DIALLING TELEPHONE) 474 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,351 - Is that Calverton? Yes. 475 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,149 This is Mary Gilbert. I just wondered if I could talk to Geraldine, please. 476 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,754 I'm not at all sure where she is, hold on. 477 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:01,989 Sorry? 478 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,756 - What did you say? Oh, hold on. - Hold on. 479 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,393 Right. 480 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,439 Have you been there? 481 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,239 I'm imagining some huge old spooky house. 482 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,437 - Hello? - Hello. 483 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,476 - I can't find her. - What? 484 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,150 - Maybe she's in the east wing. - You can't find her? 485 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,038 She's either in the east wing or left. 486 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,155 What do you mean, 487 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:36,038 she's either left or she's in the east wing? 488 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,273 Can't you go and look for her in the east wing? 489 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,557 I don't think so. I'm not sure. 490 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,948 - Who am I talking to? - Geoffrey. 491 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,996 - Sorry? - Mr Geoffrey. 492 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,435 Mr Geoffrey. 493 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,034 - You are? - I'm the butler. 494 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,634 - Oh, the butler, right. - Yes. 495 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:00,153 Well, could you, Mr Geoffrey, 496 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,959 if you see Geraldine by any chance in the east wing, 497 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,838 - could you get her to ring Mary? - (GRUNTS) 498 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,433 (RINGS OFF) 499 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,709 (CLOCK TICKING) 500 00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,388 - Good night, Miss. - Good night, Betsy. 501 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:41,873 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 502 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,633 - Hello. - Ah, Geraldine, there you are. 503 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,677 What's the matter? 504 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,353 You missing me? 505 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,876 No, no, I was just expecting you to ring. 506 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,678 You sounded unhappy. 507 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,439 You scared me. 508 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,078 I scared you? When? 509 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,352 That film, 510 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,193 terrifying French movie, it really scared me. 511 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,879 I shouldn't have done that, no. I'm sorry. 512 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,632 No, you shouldn't. 513 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,472 We had some good times, though, after that. 514 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,552 We did. 515 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,753 Geraldine, you sound very low, is there something I can do? 516 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,752 - Like what? - I don't know. 517 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,355 - Help in some way. - You want something, 518 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:37,115 an answer, a secret, but there isn't anything. 519 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,668 Not anything big, 520 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,513 just a series of small, not very special puddles. 521 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,068 Puddles? What do you mean? 522 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,156 Some not very heroic incidents, that's what I mean. 523 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,071 Grandfather didn't die in an accident, of course. 524 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,510 He shot himself two years ago. 525 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,593 He was almost naked with a gun in his mouth. 526 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:06,753 Never told anybody why. 527 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:12,158 And you had guessed that had happened, hadn't you? 528 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,276 Maybe. 529 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,796 Both him and my father are very silent. 530 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,472 Were 531 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,232 very, very silent. 532 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,189 My father's even more silent now. 533 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:29,757 I watched him tonight. He's losing his daughter Georgina. 534 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,718 She's going to marry the very first deb's delight that kisses her breasts. 535 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,439 You just know that will happen. 536 00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,112 He's losing her. 537 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,155 He'll never say anything. 538 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:43,913 Never say, "I love you, darling. " 539 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,389 When I was 15, 540 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:51,759 I came upon my father and grandfather sitting on the floor in the library. 541 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,990 They were looking at pictures and there they were, 542 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,833 sitting on the floor in total silence. 543 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,035 Like measuring their respective lives out in silent chunks. 544 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,752 I think there's every chance my father will go the same way as my grandfather. 545 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:12,755 - Not quite yet, but one day. - Geraldine, I'm sure that won't happen. 546 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,435 But you know what really scares me? I think, when will it stop? 547 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,115 What about Georgina's boy? When she has a boy. 548 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:21,997 Will it go on and on? 549 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,270 You know, my grandfather was in the First World War 550 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,715 and my father was in the Second. 551 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,349 So maybe that's got something to do with it, war. 552 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:37,749 So I don't know about that, Mary. 553 00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,990 Maybe they never would have talked, whatever happened. 554 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:46,039 They made the world slow down so much by never saying anything. 555 00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:49,351 When I was growing up, I screamed for each week to end. 556 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,908 - Well, that's finished now. - Has it? 557 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,396 I missed my chance, Mary. 558 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,354 I'll never forgive myself for that. 559 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,634 How did you miss your chance? 560 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:11,076 - Are you going to write about this? - No, of course not. 561 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:12,559 Really? 562 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,076 Is Felicity suddenly going to turn into a troubled mad heiress, too? 563 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,390 I'm not going to write about this. 564 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:22,359 How will you end her, then? If you don't use this? 565 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,874 I'll think of a way. 566 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,555 Of course you'll write about it, because writers are cold. 567 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,315 - Cold, cold, cold. - That is undoubtedly true, Geraldine. 568 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,159 But I would never write about this conversation, 569 00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:37,629 because it wouldn't fit. 570 00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:40,712 My Felicity was very frivolous and you aren't. 571 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,877 Remember, though, you wanted me to write about you. 572 00:36:46,720 --> 00:36:48,153 That's right. 573 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,276 But then I knew you'd write about me the way you did. 574 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,791 What was the opportunity you missed, Geraldine? 575 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,672 Nothing very much. 576 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,111 I missed a golden chance. 577 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,278 When I was tiny, before the war, there was a house that... 578 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,989 A magical house in the middle of London, Holland House. 579 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,833 Now it's a ruin in the middle of Holland Park, 580 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,878 but then, just like a castle in a fairy story. 581 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:19,792 A few weeks before war broke out, there was great ball 582 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,075 attended by everybody that was everybody. 583 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,870 The King and Queen, foreign princes, prime ministers, Noel Coward, too. 584 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:30,873 I was only five, of course I didn't go to the ball but... 585 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,633 I overheard everybody talking about it. 586 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:36,029 My nanny had shown me the house. 587 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:39,554 It was raining the night of the ball. 588 00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:44,514 For some reason, I wanted to stay awake to hear them all come back. 589 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,717 I heard the voice of my father down the passage. 590 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,279 Suddenly, 591 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,152 the door of my bedroom was opening and there he is, 592 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,356 standing there, 593 00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,274 very tall and handsome, and he is soaked from head to foot. 594 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,715 And he looks so happy. 595 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,951 The only time I ever remember him really smiling. 596 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,758 My parents were so exhilarated by that night, 597 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,992 they'd left the chauffeur and the car and walked all the way back in the rain. 598 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,389 The ball had been that magical. 599 00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,519 My father 600 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,274 comes over to me, he's very close, and he says, 601 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:25,073 "My angel. 602 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,632 "My little angel. " 603 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,153 That's nice. 604 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:33,199 - So he did put it into words. - Don't get sentimental on me, Mary. 605 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,032 I was, in fact, quite a fat little child, rather ugly, 606 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,759 not the skinny thing I am now. 607 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,719 You've got to imagine this podgy child lying there. 608 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,950 I'm imagining that. 609 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,837 I'm under the sheets. 610 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,431 I remember it so clearly, I... 611 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:52,399 I nearly, so... 612 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:57,633 very nearly, stretch out my little fist and touch his wet cheek. 613 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,670 But for some reason, I didn't. 614 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,673 I can't understand why I didn't. 615 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,154 What difference would that have made? 616 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,596 You're a fool if you can't see that, it would have made all the difference. 617 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,750 He remembers the ball but he doesn't remember coming to see me. 618 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,115 If I had raised my hand, he wouldn't have forgotten that. 619 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,998 If I had touched him, because we never... 620 00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,113 Because we never ever touch. 621 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,192 Of course he remembers coming in and staring down at you. 622 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,748 No, he doesn't remember doing that. 623 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,071 I know that for a fact. 624 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,117 Everybody's life changed after that ball. 625 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:43,428 Forever. 626 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,155 The war came a few weeks later, then the house was bombed. 627 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,558 They told us nothing would be the same again. 628 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,511 In some ways that's true. 629 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,318 But then, here I am. 630 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:06,349 All this time later, lying on this bed, the night before another ghastly ball. 631 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,000 Everybody going through the motions. 632 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:14,551 The world doesn't seem to have changed after all. 633 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,513 I don't know how that's really possible. 634 00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:21,676 How have we let that happen? 635 00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:26,632 Will it ever change? 636 00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:31,157 You must get away from there, Geraldine. Start doing something different. 637 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:35,756 All the new interests you've discovered over the last few weeks, remember? 638 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,548 Yeah. That's sounds nice and simple. 639 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,311 No doubt it will happen. 640 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:53,957 Geraldine? 641 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,156 Are you still there? 642 00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,275 Geraldine? 643 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,473 Geraldine? 644 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,359 Geraldine? 645 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,239 Still here. 646 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,391 Anyway, 647 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,833 you mustn't worry about me, Mary, 648 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,718 under any circumstances, and do you know why? 649 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,712 I'm not worrying, but tell me why. 650 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,758 Because I'm going to marry a rich Argentinean. 651 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,189 I fancy living in South America. 652 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,078 I haven't met him yet but I can see him clearly 653 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,991 and I'm sure I'll come across him soon. 654 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,389 - That sounds terrific. - It is. 655 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,675 The real reason you mustn't worry about me, Mary, is... 656 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:50,111 I'm much more concerned about you. 657 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,397 About me? Why on earth are you concerned about me? 658 00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:56,637 I will tell you, but you won't listen to me. 659 00:41:56,720 --> 00:41:58,199 I will listen. 660 00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:01,598 You're lying again. 661 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,873 Are we friends, Mary? Tell me honestly. 662 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:10,390 - In a way. - In a way, good. 663 00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,917 That's a good way of putting it. 664 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:15,872 Because we're hardly going to see each other. 665 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,669 In fact, you don't need to stay until I'm back on Monday. 666 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,354 So it is possible we'll never see each other again. 667 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,556 I'm sure that's not going to happen. 668 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,074 It is what will happen. 669 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,639 If you insist. 670 00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,799 So, why are you worried about me? 671 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,155 Because you were brave, 672 00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:39,232 and terribly, terribly clear about everything. 673 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,837 But in a way, and quite a different way to me, 674 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,111 you were foolish, too. 675 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,916 Be careful, won't you? 676 00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,918 This is not a time to take stupid risks. 677 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,468 I won't take stupid risks. 678 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,233 Not everybody likes to be seen clearly. 679 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,993 You are the one that will make enemies, you should listen to me. 680 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,469 - I am. - You should, but you won't. 681 00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:16,473 I would hate for something to happen to you. 682 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,918 We may not see each other again but... 683 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,509 I will be thinking about you, 684 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:25,749 often. 685 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,238 Be careful, Mary. 686 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,917 Be careful, won't you? 55864

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