Original subtitles

[TV plays in background]

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I really need to finish this pitch.

-Ten minute break? -[groan]

Yeah, look.

Just let me smash this out and then I'm all yours.

-OK? -OK.

Cool.

Glass of wine?

No, I'm good. I'm good.

I'm just gonna go and finish this off in my room.

-OK? -OK.

You just chill. Watch some TV.

I'll be back.

-OK. -OK.

♪ Dreaming of you ♪

♪ Hoping and wishing My dreams come true ♪

♪ Dreaming of you ♪

♪ Hoping and wishing My dreams come true ♪

Should we get Uber Eats?

-Yes. -[whispers] What do you feel like?

[knocking at the door]

-You get it. -It's your house, you have to get it.

Life is unfair.

-[Claire] Oh, my god. -Hi!

-Oh, my god! -[laughs]

-What the fuck are you doing here? -Surprise!

-How long are you here for? -Two weeks.

[Nat] Oh, my god.

-So short. -I know.

What are you still doing standing on the street?

Come inside!

[laughter]

I'm so jealous. I'm totally coming to visit.

My god, can we have a white Christmas?

-[Claire] We can have a white Christmas. -[Nat] White Christmas.

I want to hear about Pat.

-No! -[Katie] He sounds nice!

No, we should be talking about Nat's bartender, Melvin.

No, no, we're going to be talking about Negroni.

-Negroni? -[Nat] Yes.

Ad man, sex god, cocktail extraordinaire.

-[Claire] Shut up. -[laughter]

What do you guys think of him?

We haven't met him yet.

Why?

-He keeps her in a little sex den. -Oh, OK, whatever.

We need to... My life is boring.

-And we need to talk about New York. -[Nat] Oh, whatever.

-Have you had a New York penis? -Have you had New York penis?

-New York penis. -No.

You've been there for seven months.

I didn't say that I haven't had sex.

-I had New Jersey penis. -[laughter]

[upbeat music plays]

Yeah, she had a fucking one night stand.

-Penis goes in the vagina. -[laughter]

[Katie] Is that seriously all it takes?

I'll go home with you. Is that you now?

-[laughter] -[Katie] I'll go home with you.

[overlapping drunken banter]

[laughter]

[upbeat music continues]

[overlapping drunken banter]

I love you.

You've never had one.

[screaming] What are you doing?

I'm falling down!

You're in my bed now, shut up.

[laughter]

Let me help you there. Let me help you.

Don't take them off, I have to go home.

-[exaggerated] No. -Yes.

-I have to work tomorrow. -So do I.

[laughs] You're going to be fucked, mate.

-[laughs] -Probably.

Bag.

[Nat] Can you pass my bag? Thank you.

OK, I love you guys.

I love you both.

I will call you tomorrow.

Don't overdo it.

-Bye. -[Nat] Bye.

Oh, thank you.

-What? -I don't know, what?

-You're looking at me weird. -Am I?

How are you?

Fine.

Why are you being weird?

Nobody's met Pat? Oh, sorry, Negroni.

-It's not a big deal. -It is a big deal.

Nat's calling him a sex god and he's keeping you in a sex den?

Nat's just being Nat.

What are you trying to dissect here?

Pat?

I don't want to talk about him.

Well, isn't that interesting?

How's New York?

Well, isn't that interesting?

It's shit.

It's real shit.

I cried. I walked into my apartment, I cried.

For a week. The first week I was there.

And a bit of the second.

I'm really fucking lonely.

Besides, it's hard making friends as an adult because everyone is a cunt!

[laughs]

I'm really sorry.

And New York winters are fucking cold. Like it is fucked.

-But like, you've got mates now? -No.

-Your turn. -[awkwardly sighs]

You know

when you feel like everything you say and do is really annoying?

And then like when you try to fix it to make them...

You're just even more annoying.

Because adults are cunts.

-Yes, they are. -[laughs] Yes, yes they are.

[phone notification dings]

And he text me.

-Oh, what did he say? -What did he say?

-Come over. -Oh.

I am going to look for my dignity.

Where is it?

It's gone.

-Yeah, gone. -Let me help you out there.

[Claire] My wife and love of my life is over tonight.

Oh, my god, did you just send that?

-Yeah. [laughs] -[laughs] Oh, my god.

Pay attention to me!

Can I just ask... Why are you trying so hard?

What does being in a relationship with this guy actually look like?

Does it look good to you or does it look not good?

I don't know. It's just not--

Nick.

Oh, my god. Why does everyone keep saying that?

Because you were in a relationship for five years

and you broke up like, four months ago, you fuckwit.

Just think about what it is that you want to do.

That's your fucking job.

You're meant to come here and tell me what I'm meant to do.

Stop.

Mm.

[soft guitar music plays]

[knocks at the door]

-Hi. -Hey.

Hey.

-I wasn't sure if you were-- -Yeah, can I?

-How was last night? -It was good.

♪ Follow me ♪

♪ Swallow me ♪

I missed you.

-Do you want to come in? -Yeah, yeah.

[Harriet] Oh, fuck, I love this place. It's honest.

Not $15 for a glass. $6 because it's bin ends.

Vintage bin ends.

Yeah, fuck all of those people who are like,

"I'll have the 2009 blah, blah, blah."

-I'm kind of like that. -Actually, you're worse.

You're one of those people who would pay $11 for a cup of coffee.

I morally object to that.

At The Grounds.

Negroni goes to The Grounds all the time.

-[Timmie] Of course he fucking does.

-[Katie] Because he's the worst.

Why couldn't he come tonight?

He has to work, so the team'll probably go out for dinner afterward.

He's just got a few things on.

-[Harriet] Good chat.

Let's order some wine that's like, pre-2010.

-[Claire] I can't tell them

you're not coming again.

What does that mean?

You never come to anything.

What does that mean?

That you never come to anything.

[confused] OK.

My friends have asked to meet you so many times

and you always have an excuse.

-That's not true. -It is.

It's not an excuse. I genuinely want to meet your friends.

But you know I've been like,

insanely busy.

OK, well then, just for my self-preservation,

can you just say no?

I'm not really sure what you want me to say here, OK?

You're being a little bit--

Honest?

-What am I doing here? -What?

-What are we? -What do you--

No, no, seriously.

-What is this? -What you mean what is this?

Oh, mate, you know what I mean.

No, no. No, we've had this conversation.

We've had it multiple times.

No, we've had like, one conversation like, four months ago.

And we were drunk and it was something like,

"I don't know what I'm doing. I don't really know what I want."

And, "Oh, look, my bra is off.

"We'll just continue that chat later."

Fingers crossed, never.

No, we said we were exclusive. We said that we would...

-[Pat] So what do you want? -I want--

What? The Facebook definition?

No, I don't want a Facebook definition.

-[Pat] Do you want to go get pissed with your friends?

Is that going to make you feel like a couple like you want?

Fuck! I'm not asking for a fucking promise ring.

-[Pat] OK, well then what do you want?

I just want to do something outside of this house, that's it.

Coffee.

-[Claire] Not even sitting down coffee, if you feel like that's too serious.

Just like, a take away coffee.

-I am sick of that room. -You're being a little bit--

I'm sick of this house.

I just want it to be OK for strangers

to see us together.

You're twisting everything we've ever talked about.

Who are we hiding it from?

That's all. That's all I want to know.

You think I'm seeing someone else, do you?

Oh, OK. Well, why don't...

-You know what, go through my phone. -[Claire] No.

-Go through my phone. -No.

Take my phone. Take my phone.

-No, no-- -Take my phone.

-No! -Then what do you...

Clearly you're not happy!

No, are you?

Do you want to stop seeing each other?

-Say it. -Say what?

Say what you want to say.

What do you want me to say?

I want you to say it.

Say what?

Say you don't want me.

Fu-- Why are you attacking me?

I'm not attacking you. Four, four months, Pat.

You are attacking me.

You stay here every night and you're saying that I'm a dick.

OK, I really don't understand what I've done here.

Do you want...

Do you want to end this?

Say it.

Do we end this?

Yes.

OK.

OK.

OK, let's end this.

OK.

[door shuts]

[sighs]

[knocks at the door]

Hey.

Hi.

Come in.

What are you doing?

-[Nick] I was just saying goodbye to Josh, so, yeah.

Oh, so you booked your flight, your ticket?

Yeah, yeah. I have.

When do you leave?

Saturday. I know, crazy, right?

I was having a think.

What?

Before... that we should have sex before I go.

I just made tea.

Are you going to seduce me first?

♪ I've been running circles in my head ♪

♪ But darling you can keep me up ♪

♪ You can keep me up all night to watch out for you ♪

♪ What you can do for me is that happy ever after ♪

♪ Should I c'est la vie? ♪

♪ But darling you can keep me up ♪

♪ You can keep me up all night... ♪

No, I'm actually good.

But, I do think it is best

if I remain celibate.

-[Harriet over the phone] Like a nun? -Like a nun.

Because my heart is clearly in my vagina

because when you poke it, feelings come out.

-That sucks. -Yeah.

Nope, but I'm good. I'm cleansing.

I'm going to get a coffee.

I'm going to email you when I get to work.

-OK, bye. -OK, bye.

OK, if you go up the Chalmers Street exit of Central.

And then you go...

Left. And then...

Oh, wait.

Am I going to end up on the other side of the bridge?

Fuck no. I wouldn't send you there.

OK. [laughs]

And let's just pretend I didn't say, "fuck ", to a client.

I'll get a taxi

and I'll figure out the commute later.

I'm terrible with directions. [laughs]

I noticed.

Who are you actually here to see?

I'm here to see Elizabeth.

-I'm Huw. -Huw.

Hello, Elizabeth.

Yeah, I'm just letting you know that Huw has arrived for you.

Yep.

Bye.

So is this a nice area? Nice bars and food places?

It is a nice area.

Well I mean, from the taxi to the front door was pretty good.

-[Elizabeth] Hello, I'm Elizabeth, lovely to meet you.

-[Huw] Hi, lovely to meet you.

-[Elizabeth] I'll take you on a little tour.

-[Huw] Perfect.

-[Elizabeth] Claire can help you with any questions you have

as you settle in.

We just met.

Huw is freelancing with us for the next couple months.

Great.

Can you send the welcome email out?

-I can, yes. -[Elizabeth] Great, come with me.

-Lovely to meet you. -Yes.

You too.

♪ If I don't make it to the King Who's gonna save me tonight ♪

[phone notification]

♪ If I die inside my dreams ♪

♪ Who's going to wake me tonight? ♪

Fuck.

♪ If I fall from the apple tree ♪

♪ Who's gonna break my flight? ♪

♪ If I call and you can't hear me ♪

♪ Who's gonna show me the light? ♪

♪ 'Cause I have been left all alone ♪

♪ And I'm not sure you're coming home ♪

♪ So give me a sign ♪

♪ Sing me a song ♪

♪ Tell me you're gone ♪

♪ If the common cold couldn't let me be ♪

♪ Who's going to make me alright? ♪

♪ If growing old doesn't set me free ♪

♪ Who's going to take me tonight? ♪

♪ 'Cause I have been left alone ♪

♪ And I'm not sure when you're coming home ♪

♪ So give me a sign ♪

♪ Sing me a song ♪

♪ Tell me you're gone ♪