Original subtitles

A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

EPISODE TWO

I'm not sure you realize how bad it is.

This quarter, Carole is last in every subject.

And that's not all.

Your daughter's conduct is liable to sanctions.

- You didn't know? - No.

Absenteeism, tardiness...

Your daughter came to class drunk.

Drinking during recess.

She vomited on a classmate's hair.

It happened in my class.

At 10 a.m.

We won't beat around the bush.

We may not keep Carole next year.

What'll become of her? You can't give up on her.

Us?

Give up on her?

We're not to blame. Take a look at yourselves, dammit!

Calm down, Ghislaine.

Sorry.

You should know my wife is ill.

Elvira has breast cancer. Treatment will begin soon.

I'm terribly sorry. We didn't know.

- You should have told us. - The kids don't know.

We don't want to upset them.

Sure. But kids are like sponges.

They pick up on every vibration.

We're going through a tough time,

so we may have neglected Carole to some extent.

Look,

that changes things a little.

We understand better.

We'll help Carole straighten out, but...

- Give us time. - Of course.

- You want Carole to be expelled? - But to mention treatment!

It was to save our daughter!

That's no way to solve problems.

Look, I'm sorry.

I don't know what got into me. I panicked, like we were the pupils!

- It just came out. - What if they tell the kids?

We'll worry later. When are your tests?

- This isn't the time. - It never is!

Why so vague? I need to know.

Did Sam tell Niklas?

I dunno.

I don't think so.

So, did she get kicked out?

None of your business, pal.

You like pizza?

Sure, of course.

My dad

makes...

Hey, Carole.

Hi, Mr. Lambert.

What exactly are you doing?

I'll see you back home.

No way, we're going right now.

Want my picture, asshole?

But makes you fat, like Carole.

Cram it.

Come over here.

Hey, Papà.

- How's my little girl? - Fine.

You don't look like it.

Don't I? I'm exercising again.

So: Ginger and Fred, Vitelloni, Leonardo da Vinci and Nonno.

Could I have some parmesan, please?

- Excuse me? - Some parmesan.

You tell him.

They're driving me nuts.

Nonno's pizzas are works of art. No changes allowed.

But I'll...

Where's my favorite girl?

Virginie? She stayed home.

A nasty bout of eczema. I'd better call her.

Women and breast cancer

Why didn't you answer? I was worried.

If I had a cell, it'd be a lot more practical.

Any better?

No.

Want a pizza anyway?

Yes.

- I'll get you the usual. - Ok.

- Later, sweetie. - Later. Love ya.

Don't microwave it.

Or don't come back to Nonno's.

Got that?

Here you go.

Who's the boy with your son?

His German pen pal.

You can't be serious.

That's not good.

No one sleeps with the Germans in our family.

Carole's not coming to give me a kiss?

She's busy.

Listen to me when I'm talking!

Cool it. Don't shout.

You think you're all grown up, but you're just a kid!

Screwing up like that.

We looked like asses in front of your teachers!

With what Mom's dealing with right now.

Why right now?

I dunno, everything she's gotta do,

her job, the house.

Since when do you worry about Mom?

That's new.

You think I don't pay enough attention to her?

Yeah.

It's like you don't give a shit.

Two missed calls.

I miss your dick!

You'd better change your tune.

No more nights out. You're staying home tonight.

I wasn't going out anyway.

Good.

Alright already.

Shouting is pointless.

I never raised my voice with you.

Never, not once.

He'd do better to come sell pizzas with us

instead of acting the big photographer.

Does he think by yelling he's in control?

Does he think he's in control because he yells?

Keep your money and your lectures.

You shouldn't talk to your daughter like that.

She'll be back. She can't live without Nonno's pizza.

You should look out for her.

Move.

Who's sending all those messages?

Must be a customer.

Can't they leave you alone during the weekend?

- A little lemonade, darling? - With pleasure.

Welcome.

Hey, we said the computer

is for homework, under supervision.

Let's have a look.

Mom?

Anchovies!

Spit it out.

Here.

- Mom? - Yes?

What'd your mom die of?

I don't want any after all.

She had an illness.

Eat around the anchovies.

- Could you have the illness? - Me? No.

Why the face?

Everything's fine.

Everyone's healthy. There's no war. No one's attacking us.

Ok?

Eat some pizza.

Mom?

What?

Did you know flies sneeze like this?

Carole, I'd like us to have a talk.

Wanna talk about this?

So you found your jacket!

- Where was it? - In the Jacuzzi pit.

Really?

That's odd.

Quit lying!

I looked for a thousand years!

Your friend's hocus pocus?

Not at all.

I'm sick of it!

Let the miracle of Scrubex put a spell on you.

With just one spray,

make grease vanish from your oven like magic.

Scrubex: the perfect potion to make your stove,

grill and hotplate like new.

Virginie doesn't like those anymore.

These'll be good in the Jacuzzi. Unbreakable.

Good idea.

- Your phone. - It can wait.

One more.

I'll go get water. Be right back.

Ladies and gents, don't forget our diabolical offer,

until 7 p.m. this evening.

Buy one Scrubex, get a free coupon.

You know I'm with the kids on the weekend. I can't pick up.

You don't answer my messages. I worry.

Ok, I know.

But it's a little complicated.

I'll stop by the pharmacy to explain.

I gotta go.

Scrubex is an all-purpose range of cleaning products.

100% effective, 100% amazing,

100% diabolical.

Look no more,

Scrubex will have you hooked.

You won't want to do without.

Try it, you'll love it.

Scrubex extra scour power will work miracles

to clean stoves, backsplashes,

grills and hotplates.

Elvira,

in the past few days I've had a revelation,

like an electric shock.

But first I want to say thank you.

Thank you for being the woman you are.

Thank you for being the mother you are.

I haven't said it much in recent years...

So here I go.

I always said it was for jerks,

for suburbanites, for wimps,

but I was the jerk.

Because today,

I want us to get married.

I want a ceremony that's like us,

with the kids, your dad, my brother,

everyone naked in the Jacuzzi!

Seriously, I want...

something simple,

something our own.

So there.

Sorry to have disturbed you, ladies and gents.

Have a good afternoon.

What I wouldn't give for a smoke!

I'm so proud of you.

I wanted to say...

For your tests, I really want to come with you.

You'll tell me when they are?

You can't close the studio just to come with me.

Sure I can.

I screwed up last time. I want to prove I care.

I'm sure the tests will come out fine and I'm not sick.

So am I.

You seem strange.

I was wondering...

Will you still want to marry me if I'm not sick?

Of course.

Of course!

- Really? - Sweetheart.

Mad and so plain to see, that it makes no sense to me

This exciting game, so fun yet so lame

You like to manipulate me

Hey.

I've been trying to reach you for hours.

I was with Manon.

It sucks! My dad grounded me.

You can't leave me by myself.

It's not my fault. It's that bitch French teacher.

We'll rip into that slut.

She'll regret it.

- I'll call you back. - Ok.

Can't you do that somewhere else?

Get outta here!

You like to manipulate me And I like to do the same

- What's the matter? - You ok?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

It's nothing. She's a woman.

She cries, she laughs. That's how it is.

Open your mouth.

Open your mouth.

Try again.

It tastes weird. Where'd it come from?

Don't know the number.

- What're you doing? - It's an odd hour to call.

It could be important.

We don't need another Jacuzzi.

Right.

Hang on.

What?

Wait, I don't understand.

Just a minute.

Ok, we're on our way.

Carole's at the police station.

- What? - The police. We have to go get her.

It's awful. I'm so worried.

What's going on?

They were on rooftop, half-drunk.

One of their buddies fell. The guy's in ER.

What's with these kids?

In my day, girls didn't drink so much.

Goddammit. Stupid little punks!

Stupid little brat.

We gotta go get your scooter.

We sure didn't need this.

- Fuck! - Careful.

These kids are out of control.

I'll tell them you're sick.

Are you nuts!

Knock some sense into them.

- We can't upset them for no reason! - On the contrary!

They gotta learn what life is!

Watch the road!

- Dad... - Sorry.

- Are you ok? - Sorry, sorry, sorry!

Are you ok, baby?

- You ok? - I'm fine. I'm not hurt.

Goddammit! I'm such a mess.

Sorry, but it's so complicated right now.

I know. I'm sorry.

It's not just you.

Stop it!

- Come on. - What is it?

Come on.

Is it serious or not?

We don't know.

I need to have tests. It's surely a false alarm.

Something that looks like breast cancer,

but actually isn't.

Don't downplay it.

No point saying it's nothing if it turns out serious.

- I can tell I'm fine. - Wait for your results.

Alright already.

It's hard enough as it is.

That's true.

You're right.

We'll go to the biopsy together and we'll see.

The what?

The biopsy.

They take out a piece of your mom

and analyze it to know if it's serious.

How do you know that?

I looked into it.

No need to go into detail.

It'll all go fine. You mustn't worry.

Ok, Carole?

I love you, Mom.

My baby.

What's going on?

Thanks.

I wanna get kicked outta school, too.

You're freaking me out.

Everyone to bed.

Good night, everyone.

To bed.

I want my brother to know.

I want us to be alike.

To bed.

Can't you say "sister" while my pen pal's here?

He knows some words. "Brother" and "sister"

are simple enough to understand.

- This is serious. - No, we don't know yet.

What? Tell me what's going on.

Your mother's ill.

Mom has breast cancer.

Just a little lump, below my chest.

It's a tumor.

A tumor!

Calm down.

Sam, get a hold of yourself. You gotta control your emotions.

Say that again?

No hysteria in this house.

Everyone must keep cool until we get the test results.

Go fuck yourself.

You're too harsh.

What's going on?

Sam, baby.

Don't cry, baby. Don't cry.

There's a 99% chance that I'm fine.

I hope so.

- Please try harder with your father. - He doesn't try!

He does too.

He loves you so much.

Even if he's clumsy sometimes.

Why do they call it breast cancer?

They should call it breast canceler.

I promise you there's hope.

Sometimes I...

I feel like...

I feel like I'm falling.

I'm falling and...

No one's there to catch me.

This alert

reminds us we're a family

and that we show each other tolerance.

Or else, who'll show us tolerance?

There's so little love in this world.

I want a peaceful home.

I'd rather you wait in the car.

No, that way we can chat.

You're not alone.

Look, you must let me go by myself.

Because I...

I don't want you to see me as a sick person,

to associate me with the hospital and all that.

What'll help me live is for the illness never to interfere.

That's what'll make me feel pretty and alive.

You're thinking of your mother.

Exactly.

Go on.

I'll wait here.

Can I help you?

Excuse me?

Are you looking for something?

Oh, no. Thank you.

"Madame Bovary". Flaubert in 1836...

Can I help you?

It's about photography classes. With Patrick.

Is he your father?

You look like him.

He's not here?

No, I'm standing in for him.

Is something wrong?

Is that your mother?

She's beautiful.

And...

is he with her?

I guess so.

I can give you information if you want.

Want me to call my father?

No, there's no need. I'll come back.

Everything's fine. In the waiting room. I'm next.

I love you.

DEATH OF THE POISONER

- Hi, Dad. - So how's it goin'?

Fine. I'm working on my essay.

Any customers?

Just the pharmacist. She's was looking for you.

Did she say why?

She said she's hot for you and to go see her.

She did?

I'm joking!

She came in and acted weird.

Looking for you.

Very funny.

What about Mom?

Look, Mom's ok.

I just dropped her off. She was nervous.

But she'll be ok. Don't worry.

I love you, sweetie.

Me too, Dad.

I'm thinking of you,

and of Mom, too.

I'm gonna nail this essay.

Big hugs.

Mom's ok, she's having her tests. Dad's with her.

Should we tell Nonno?

See you later.

I don't have my glasses. Read it to me.

How'd it go?

All done. We'll get the results in a few days.

How?

In the mail. It won't be long.

Didn't they say anything else?

No. They said to wait.

- Elvira! - What's he doing here?

I dunno, I didn't say anything.

Why are you here?

If Sam hadn't told me, you'd have kept quiet, right?

It's nothing. Just a routine exam.

Then why are the kids so worried?

Coz they're kids.

What is this shit?

I'm afraid something'll happen to you,

to you, too.

I'm sorry.

No need to be sorry. Are you sick?

Maybe.

You know I love you?

I don't know it enough, Papà.

I added a pumice stone, Mrs. Arnaud.

- It's not mine. - It's a gift.

I see.

Is this a gift, too?

Not at all. You have to pay for it.

Thank you.

Hi.

Get lost.

What?

Is it for the wedding invitation?

Wait a sec.

Stick with your shitty life,

your shitty dreams, your bratty kids.

Think I'm being vulgar?

So are you. You're mediocre.

I'm not finished.

This way, please.

Wait, listen.

Elvira has breast cancer.

She was screened.

I get the feeling it's pretty serious.

Are you ok?

No, I'm not ok.

What do I do with that?

It's awful!

I'll be jealous of her, of her illness. I'll want her to die.

Please don't say that.

Go away!

- Hang on. - Go away!

Look. My letter for headquarters.

I'm taking him to labor court.

Brunet?

He said he dreamed I'd given birth to a monster, like in Alien.

His exact words?

I recorded it all.

Here.

Remember that life insurance claim

for a client named like a city?

Laval.

A palindrome.

Wasn't it breast cancer?

It was, but Laval is a palindrome.

A word that reads the same both ways.

Laval.

It was a joke. Thanks.

What for?

Brunet asked me for it.

- Coming to lunch? - I have to finish something.

Elvira! We're going to Gillers!

- It's lunch break. - Yeah, we gotta move ass.

Isn't the assessor supposed to go?

He is.

But if I know one thing, it's to distrust assessors.

All crooks.

Well?

The manager's gone to lunch at a Chinese restaurant

two blocks away.

Perfect.

You want to bother his lunch break?

Don't forget, the assessor comes today.

I hope Christine doesn't crack.

She's our weak link.

She's a wreck because we wrote off her son's computer.

And her new coffeemaker.

- Fair is fair. - Given our insurance premium.

I offered a receipt.

- But accounts didn't want it. - What for?

A hairdryer.

- We're not hairdressers. - It was a sweet offer.

I hope we don't get caught.

Don't worry, I'll cover you.

We'll have that assessor over a barrel.

Lying, Elvira,

is not easy for everyone.

When you lie,

it has to be airtight

and magnificent.

If you can't do it,

then tell the truth.

For instance, I don't lie,

simply because I have no memory.

Watch your spelling: D.

Or I'd have made a great crook.

You might say insurers are...

B.

You need to be creative not to get caught,

plus organization skills,

and a cool head.

I'm too sentimental.

And remember this, Elvira:

Always be wary of your neighbors.

Subtitles: Mariette Kelley & Cynthia Schoch