Original subtitles

(Voices of Children)

-Hey Paolo! -Hi! Hello!

I'm taking them all to Ostia today.

-I've got too much to do. -It's almost 11:00.

Time to knock off. Come swimming with us. -No, no.

-Come on Paolo! -Are you crazy Paolo?

Just a little, but I have to work. Otherwise who's gonna pay for this?

Polishing, polishing! You'll wear it out before it's paid for.

See you tonight.

-See you at home? -What will be will be.

Careful. Don't swim out too far!

Bye Paolo!

-Taxi! Are you free? -Look there's the bus!

What's this?

But I was going to pay for the first part!

-Well then. -Please get your feet off. The car's new.

So are my shoes. -So take my tire off your shoe!

Sorry. -No, I'm sorry.

We want to go out of the city. Far, far...towards Anzio.

There's a pine forest there. -Lavinio, no?

Do we go with the meter or flat rate? -Depends. How long will you be?

Who knows? When we're bored.

Okay then. The meter. -And how much will it be?

If we hurry, 50km, if not more, 50, 100. A two hour rest stop.

Let's make it 8000 lire flat rate! -No, no, no. 8000 lire until 5:00pm.

After that it's on the meter. -Okay. Let's go.

I need some sleep. -Sleep is good.

I'll tell when it's time to wake up. -You don't have to tell me!

Can't you put that on the seat? It's hot!

Because I'm close to you. -Mmh

Oh! I forgot something!

Stupid me! You too! -You're right!

Listen. Pass by San Pietro. When we get close I'll tell you where.

(Giorgio, Toto, and Lina sing)

Come on!

It's here!

Tell me, Miss.-Can you adjust the seat? -Of course.

Okay, fine. But there's lots to do. There's another car that needs a going over.

Of course. But you should give us priority.

Okay. Bring it here, then we'll see. Oh, and nothing for the tires.

We'll look after them. The seven beauties. -You keep them.

Some money up front when we bring it to you, right?

100. -And then?

It won't be much. When is delivery?

A couple of hours, okay? -Okay.

~Bingo Bango Bongo, I don't wanna leave the Congo

~No no no-no-no no.

~Bingo Bango Bungle I'm so happy in the jungle I refuse to go.

Oh? What's this?

It's cooler up here. -Yeah? Get back here. Move it.

-Right here on the back seat. -And if I don't want to? -No. Satisfied?

It's all good..

~Bingo Bango Bongo, I don't wanna leave the Congo No no no-no-no no.

Guys, let's go swimming in the beautiful sea.

Meaning? -Meaning no going to the pool.

We can swim in our birthday suits!

We'll save money on the locker but I didn't bring a bathing suit!

And why not? -I was gonna rent one, stupid.

Disgusting! -Why?

I like my own stuff. -And not somebody else's?

No, I like my own stuff. -What are you saying?

That the purse wasn't...

..wasn't Amalia's? -Well I didn't like it.

But after it became mine I liked it.

~Oh Bingo Bango Bongo, I don't wanna leave the Congo No no no-no-no no.

Here we are! Look at that sea! -Killer sea!

Okay. Birthday suits? -I'm in.

Lina, you too? -I'll take off my dress and be okay.

Turn left. There should be another road.

Yes yes, after the crossroads you'll pay me. -Of course I'll pay you!

You're terrific, go slowly.

Damn, what a bathtub! Look at that sea!

Stop here! -No...in the shade!

I told you to turn the car around.

Don't worry, Leave the turning to me.

That's what I was thinking. He'll turn it around after, no?

And if he's hungry after?

Don't worry about me, Miss.

-We'll go eat after.

Aren't you bathing? -In this heat?

No thanks. I'm fine here.

Here's our change room. After you, Miss.

You strip first.

You can come with us! You won't be alone. If you're not embarrassed.

Because we...right, Lina? -Eh? Of course!

We like to undress freely.

A pine-nut!

Look, another one! -Lots!

So? Birthday Suit? That's it?

I didn't want to embarrass you.

Come on! -Strip!

What's the rush? You know what? I'm already hungry.

Let's buy something and bring it back here.

I'll go with him. Who knows what he'll grab!

If you give me directions I'll take the car.

No, we'll walk along the beach.

It's good for us. -And we can pick out what we want.

Keep an eye on the clothes? Thanks!

Got any money? -Yup.

Let's go, Lina! -Eh? -C'mon! -No!

C'mon, let's do a little training.

~Bingo Bango Bongo, I don't wanna leave the Congo

..No no no-no-no no.

~Bingo Bango Bungle I'm so happy in the jungle I refuse to go.

Damn!

Take off your shoes.They'll get full of sand!

You can't see them? They're already down there. Far far away.

From here you can still see them!

You make me laugh. All dressed up. What's with you?

At least take off that trench-coat!

For heavens sakes, you're tanned. So you swim after all.

Oh! See how strange it is? The water's green, green, green.

Ah...

It feels good to lie down here under the sun.

But I need a pillow.

Here, look, you lie here... No, it's too low.

No. See how good it feels. If you lie on it like this...

Oh like that! I make you my pillow.

That's just what I needed.

If you like I can get a pillow from the car. -Why?

Does it feel uncomfortable like this? -No, I just don't feel like being a pillow.

What do you mean? -You don't understand? -No.

I don't think you realize that a man... -Well?

And what's so special about a man?

Look, you came down here with a group. I'm a decent person...

When you speak your stomach moves and it makes me feel funny.

Did your wife ever tell you that? -What wife? I'm not married.

No? And this? -That?

This one I wear here. That one you wear there.

It was my mother's.

Shall I get you that pillow? -Hold still! I'm fine like this!

Do you always wear it? -It's the only thing I have of my family.

Two grandparents, grandma's sister, father, mother, four brothers... -What?

One bomb...

Not a soul left.

That's a fine fix.

No one? Surely at your age you have a fiance?

Oh...You get to know people but..

it's not the same.

Oh God, the alarm!

What happened? -The car!

It goes off by itself? -It's the anti-theft alarm!

Delinquents! Crooks! Scoundrels! Thieves! Wait'll I get there...

What's wrong? -Nobody did nothing!

We wanted to get sandwiches. -I'll give you sandwiches!

And you were busy snuggling!

What snuggling? You were trying..

Be still! Damn!

Caught! You and your sandwiches! What did you say I was doing?

Snuggling! -Yeah, I saw you!

And this? This loaf of bread?

Damn! Look what you made me do!

Hold still! I'll call the cops!

Just wait'll I catch you! Dammmit!

Take that! Maybe I can...

What were they up to? -Scoundrels!

They wanted to steal the car? Here you go. That's not hard to figure out...

Scoundrels!... Scoundrels! -I'll kill them!

And what about you? Why don't you call for help?

HELP! THIEVES!

Enough already. I'll get them. -Not unless you hurry!

Look at her! Delinquents! I should've known instantly..

It was written all over your face. All three of you!

Listen, watch what you're saying. I have no part in this!

No? You didn't make some kind of deal? You weren't in this together?

What kind of deal? Explain it to me!

Explain to you? My poor little hen! -Don't call me names!

You take me for a fool? -If you say so.

No need to waste a minute chasing them.

I'll take you to the police instead. You'll give them names and addresses.

Whose?

First yours, because you're the worst. I get it now!

Look what I did. After, you'll give them the names of your accomplices!

I know them as well as you do. I met them 5 minutes before you.

Really? I salute you! Goodbye!

I need the mirror to see the road.

Yeah yeah, when you've been in the cooler for awhile,

you won't be quite so cheerful.

You really believe that I knew them. -No!

Then you're an idiot! I told you I didn't know them!

I was going to Ostia when I ran into them.

"Want to go swimming, miss?" "That's where I'm going"

"Shall we go together?" "Oh..I hardly know you."

"Do you have a car?" says the tall one.

I said that if you have a car we won't have to wait for the tram.

So he says to me, "We'll take you in a car."

And that's how we found your taxi. -They seemed pretty cozy with you.

They weren't the only ones!

Listen, I could see right away that you're no good.

I mean, going with the first person you meet on the street?

There were two. That's different.

Really? -And three, if we count you.

What could possibly happen? I just wanted to swim.

Pretty expensive swim! 8000 lira for the trip,

plus damages to the car. -Me? What do I have to do with it?

On the way there they invited me,

and on the way back you're dragging me to the police station,

and here we are.

You're strong, eh? Yeah, sure.

Listen... -Eh?

Let's take a swim, just the two of us.

You know you're vulgar? Who do you think you're with?

Come here. -Careful I don't scream for help!

Because if I give you permission,

how could I gain your trust?

I'll go to the police.

And don't be angry! It's me that should be angry.

Oh sure! Because the car is yours?

It took me two years to buy a share!

(NO ENTRY)

Whistle, whistle! Who cares?

Who cares? We'll settle everything at the police station.

Listen, I've had enough! You're too wild!

Come back here! Where are you going? Taking off? Come back!

Give me a moment. I'll be right back!

Licence and registration, please.

Get it yourself, it's in the car. -Move your car!

She's a thief!

Why didn't you stop when I whistled?

Arrest her, she's a thief! -Is he crazy?

Yes, I'm crazy! Dammit! -Yeah, you're crazy alright!

They came through this doorway!

I've been to all the floors. This is the last one.

Don't bother. Here there's nobody.

You won't find nobody, just me.

And that fantasy of going to the seaside is a bedtime story!

What did he want?

He's looking for the friend of the two that tried to steal his car.

Maestro...Maestro, look here a moment,

I already explained it to you once.

See this catastrophe?

If this happens to me at the station in the middle of the crowd, how will I get out of it?

I already told you and you didn't believe me.

There's nothing more to do! Throw it in the trash!

How's that?

It needs a new spring, new clasp, new hook..

It needs everything.

Can't you repair the spring?

I can, but it'd be stealing your money. -How's that?

Take my advice. Shop around. Think about it.

Put in the German spring and I promise you it'll still be broken.

Good day. May I? -Hm?

Excuse me,

Could you give me some information?

Do you know two boys, one as tall as me, dark hair,

the other short, blonde, with glasses. They hang out together.

18-20? -Mh...

Tight pants? Curly hair in the back? Black and white loafers?

Yes! You know them? -No, but there's many like them.

Typical of this new generation.

There's plenty of them around here..

So, can I see that German spring?

Don't worry. He's harmless.

God Dammit, if I ever find them!

Trouble?

They wanted to steal my car! And I almost fell for it!

Your car? A taxi? -Brand new!

Crazy! How does one dare steal a car these days?

That's the kind of thing you could do in '44, '45, '46...

I tell you, even in '49!

But today, with modern police methods, one shouldn't steal cars.

Does it have a radio? -No! -Amateurs, dear sir.

The fruits of war. A lost generation.

Mischief for it's own sake. Unnecessary. Without talent or technique.

What's it come to? -3000 Lire. -For a spring?

Spring, hook and clasp. And labour.

So that's the price.

So, you don't know them?

No, I avoid those types. I feel sorry for them.

More of a danger to themselves than to others.

And what if you catch them? -They'll learn their lesson in jail.

They'll learn that crime doesn't pay. Like I said, a lost generation.

They have no desire to work. No ambition.

They believe in the black market. In adventure. But life is work.

Hard work, every day.

3,000, but I need it tomorrow.

Around 10:00 -Not later.

Just as you say. In the meantime, I'll report them.

Official forms cost 100 lire. I can buy them for you. Save you a trip.

The forms are 100 lire? -To write a report, it's normal.

Good luck!

5 cigarettes. -Official forms for 100 lira.

That Lazio team should hide. -We won't make it to the B series!

What kind of Official Forms? -Eh? -Official Forms?

Give me 5 cigarettes instead. I'm getting soft.

5,000 Lire? -5,000 because I bargained!

Otherwise it'd be at least 10,000.

Look what I'm left with!

Look at that new car!

It just needs a little more polish.. -Yeah, a polish!

No no no no! -Get lost!

You didn't file the report? -Yes! It's coming along.

You didn't do it? What are you thinking?

It's okay for you to be foolish,

but it wouldn't hurt to think of the rest of us.

They could have been killers as well as thieves!

Hey, don't be mad at me!

Hey! You better dig up the 5,000 lire!

Listen, listen.. -Where are you going?

You're right! -Didn't you see the stop sign?

It's important! -Stay calm. -Okay, fine.

Go on.

Is he crazy? -That's just great!

Did you see how he stopped? -Come here!

I've been looking for you for 10 days, but I've got you now!

Who do you take me for?

Your friend got away but you won't escape!

Did you see what you did to him?

What kind of a stunt was that? -Isn't it enough you smashed up my bumper?

Ah, that's what you think? A crazy driver like you!

Crazy... -I'll testify,

that you slammed on your brakes! -I was just about to hit someone!

It's true. It was a miracle! What do you know about it?

I was there. And he asked me to testify.

He stopped suddenly to talk to the lady. I saw it!

He's not allowed to talk? You don't talk to your witnesses?

Do you even have any? -Less talk.

You left your car in the middle of the street.

A ticket for you. -The working man always get's it in the neck.

While the guy out for a stroll gets away with everything!

I'm not out for a stroll! I work as hard as you!

I'm a civil servant in the "Office of Noon" (Public Works)

It's past noon. You should be back in the office!

Go ahead and laugh!

You'll pay for the damage you caused! I have witnesses and your plate number!

You play the lottery? I wear a size 16 collar and size 10 shoes!

Ready? -Here.

Take it. -Thanks. -And now?

And now you'll see how I earn my daily bread.

Come on, get in!

Can you take me to the Coliseum?

Of course! You should be nicer to your clients.

Come on. Get in.

May I ask where you're taking me? -To the Police Station. After this fare.

This is the thanks I get? -For what?

I even lied for you.

Poor baby, a lie! How terrible! How could you?

The Coliseum please. -Yes Coliseum. It's alright.

You speak English? -Just a little bit. -Wonderful!

Who taught you English? Did you go with Americans?

I didn't go with anyone!

I learned from my father who worked in London.

You even have a father. -Yes.

In jail or out? -At home, if you don't mind.

What home? An illegal one made from stolen lumber?

Three rooms, kitchen, and patio. Beyond your wildest dreams!

In Via Giulia. Piazza delle Colonnette 35A.

...If you please. -Piazza delle Colonnette 35A

Mm-hm -Okay.

Please the Forum Imperiale. -Yes, Trajan's Forum.

It's alright. Forum Imperiale.

This is the Trajan Forum built by Apollodoro of Damascus...

and there is the Basilica Ulpia and Trajan's Market.

They're wonderful. -Oh yes!

What are you saying? -You really don't know anything!

Oh that's what George admired so much...

but here it says "Foro di Cesare." -Yes

What does she know? Forget it! Read the guidebook!

Oh, you mistake. Foro di Cesare is near Temple of Venus.

Idiot! -Say it again! -Idiot!

Damn -What's that?

Basilica di Massenzio and there is the Coliseo.

Oh! -The Coliseum!

You speak English... -Mh hm.

Thank you. How much? 1000 lire? -Yeah gimme 1000 lire.

No sir, 500! The meter says only 500 liras.

What do you care? -Shutup, they can hear you.

Oh, very kind. Keep it all. Goodbye.

See how It pays to be honest?

He even thanked you! Do you want a guide sir?

You're a guide? -It is my work.

Wonderful! -They need a guide.

Huh? Where are you going?

A quick tour and I'll be right back. -No no no! S'cuse me S'cuse me! Go go go.

C'mere c'mere. -Sorry! -My English is as good as yours.

How rude!

He's jealous. -Come dear.

I can't afford to waste time. Too much work to do. -Okay.

Look what you've done...

You see that? And look at this! That's 8000 Lire!

Listen, give me 5000 lire, I'll pay the rest, and we're finished.

5000 lire...and who's got that?

You could get it from your friends,

but of course you don't know them... -How witty you are!

Okay, I know them. -Ah! You see?

The one that was with me today.

You should be more like him! -Imagine!

You couldn't find a nicer boy! -Hm!

From a good family. A great one.

Intelligente...Went to business school.

Quite an achievement! -It certainly is!

And I love him a lot. -Really! -Yes -Marry him!

Sure, great.....he's my brother.

Who, him? -You don't believe me?

It's easy to prove, come to my house.

The effects of the war.

A lost generation! In need of guidance!

Looking for excitement, the black market...

Meanwhile, life is hard work day in and day out!

Listen, I should have told you the first day but,

I didn't want my father to know. He's not young. An artist.

To hurt old people is like hurting a child.

Was I wrong to spare my father this disappointment?

Who says you were? -Was I wrong to love him?

Of course not. Imagine! If only I still had mine!

You're nice. I knew it. Thank you. Bye.

No no! What "bye?" Come here. Let's go. Get in!

Where are we going? -To your house,

Piazza delle Colonette 35/A. -Are you crazy?

After what I just told you?

That's why I want to talk to your father!

You're so insensitive! -Sure, sure, get in!

You want to end up like your brother who's going to jail?

And you with him? Is that how you want to end up?

Oh thanks a lot!

You two keep an eye on the car, okay? -Okay.

Leave this to me.

Look at that tire!

A brand name. Easy to sell.

They belong to father. He's crazy about luggage.

Didn't you say he was an artist? -An artist who travels.

Who is it? -It's me Papa. Come on.

Papa... -Eh?

There's someone wants to talk to you. -Who sent him?

Hello. -Hello.

Haven't we met? -No, I don't think so.

Lina, in your opinion is this a radio or a projector?

Clearly some kind of electrical contraption, that much is clear..the rotating wheels.

Do you know anything about it? -Um..er.. -Bah! A mystery!

A mystery of the mechanical world.

Well now, where have we met before? -I was wondering the same thing.

I'm sure we've met somewhere.. but it doesn't matter..

What I wanted to say was...

Where did you do military service? All over the place...in the war!

Me too, but in the first world war...

You're right...

I have seen your face before. Ah!

At the racetrack...no no.

Not important. Can I offer you a coffee?

Yes yes! I'll make it! I'll make it! -No no no no Mamma! You go, Lina.

I want to figure out what this does. This long cord!

There's no plug so it's not for a wall socket.

Sugar on the side for you? -Yes dear, thank you.

I'd like to know... -It's so hot! So hot!

Yes, terrible ma'm. -This this this ,whatever is this?

It is hot, isn't it Mamma? -I've had enough of it.

But it'll get better. The papers are saying that,

there's a hurricane near France.

Yes, I read it too. -Really? Good, good.

Are you interested in leather goods? Bags? Luggage?

Me? -Purses?

No. What I wanted to say to you was.. -Papa? -Eh?

Can I have a word? Excuse me. -Here take this.

Do you really think a hurricane is coming from France?

Papa... -What does this young man want with me?

And where did you meet him? -I met him...

I've known him for years. Don't you remember me talking about him? -No.

Does he work with Toto? I don't want you hanging around such people!

Yes, I know. -Did you press it enough? -Yes.

He's been courting me but I told him no.

Over and over I tell him no and that he means nothing.

Every time I leave the house I find him outside.

So once, to scare him, I say,

"Watch out for my father.."

To scare him further I said,

"If my brother catches you he'll beat your face in!" That calmed him down.

And then? -And then...

today I saw him again. He was sweet. I said, "How are you?"

"Fine," he says "I'm over it. I'll take you home."

And since my shoes hurt I said, "Okay."

But then why did you...

We got here and just to be polite I said,

"Come up for a moment.." -Look, look, excuse me..

I think I know what it is. Come for a moment.

I pressed a button and the wheels spun the other way.

Come see..

You hear?

Why that's us!

And this...what do call it? The part for speaking outdoors...

Of course, a microphone! It's a tape recorder.

See? -Yes...

Watch, it shuts off like this. -Eh.

You talk, it records and rewinds..

and now you can hear. -It's crystal clear. This is "Stop" and this is "Go."

And here's the talking piece. Talk! Talk!

She's sleeping... -Pay no attention. She's always sleeping.

Here's the coffee! -Lina, come here!

Say something for the microphone. Sing. -Sing what? -Sing! Sing!

~Bingo Bango Bongo I don't wanna leave the Congo,

~I'm not going no no,

~Bingo Bango Bungle I'm so happy in the jungle I refuse to go.

What an amazing apparatus! You brought me luck.

I'm glad I brought somebody luck. Not like my day...

What'd it cost you? -Eh? It was a gift.

I was attracted to the case, the colour.

Do you believe in colours? Is the coffee good?

Excellent. Reminds me of my mothers.

My mother used to make a coffee... -Beh, Lina..she's good too.

She's good at everything: The washing, cooking, ironing...

We've been trying to make her into the perfect housewife.

What a marvel!

Wonderful! Bravo! When you came in I felt,

one feels these things, a warm glow.

What do you do? -A taxi driver.

Ah! A wonderful profession! Surrounded by people,

people in a hurry, distracted people,

tourists with lots of luggage. I really envy you.

Oh please, it's a horrible profession. May I?

Please. They're slippers. Norwegian.

Thank you dear.

If I may be so bold, what do earn?

Depends, some days are better, some days are..

I won't ask if you're a homebody. That's obvious.

For sure. But I'm here because..

For me a home is like an island in this crazy world,

and this is mine. "Parva sed acta mihi."

Do you know Latin? -Latin? No.

Doesn't matter. It's a dead language. More important to speak modern languages.

Do you know any? -None. -Wonderful. Better still.

As I was saying. My house is small but lacks nothing.

Fresh air, a beautiful view. Look, look, the Janiculum Hills,

the Tiber, the Regina Coeli Prison... -Papa!

My family can't stand the sight of prison.

I don't understand why.

Seeing it gives me a sense of peace, of security.

I open the window and feel reassured to see the prison over there,

and I breathe easy.

It would be worse if it were reversed, you know?

To see my house from prison!

Like this it's a symbol: The prison, my house, and the river in between.

A symbol and also a reminder. I'm getting sentimental, forgive me.

You're a fine lad. -Thanks.

No, I must thank you for wanting to spend time with us old folks.

Young folk today are so selfish.

Leaving us alone, going off with their friends,

We are on an island..

on an island.

Are you crazy? -It's only the spare tire!

Get it out...go!

Quickly!

Put it back, then signal me, okay?

Okay, I'll whistle like this.. -Scram!

Signor Stroppiani, I won't disturb you any longer.

It was a pleasure to meet a fine man like you.

These days it's a rare thing.

I wanted to tell you something but... -What? -Forget it.

Going already? Stay a bit longer.

Yes, stay! We'll have a glass of anisette.

After we have another coffee. -I couldn't...

Then we could try the recorder again.

Me too! -You too, mama. You too..

You too..What can something like that be worth?

Give it here!

Hurry! -I got it. -We're missing a bolt!

You've sure got a house full of stuff. -It's an obsession, you know...

Not just the luggage, but everything....

If you're interested...come and see.

Look, toiletries, wool blankets,

and look here, Argentinian cashmere. -Cashmere?

Well then...goodbye! -What? -I'll go with you.

Why? -Paolo has work..

and he's way behind.

Isn't that right Paolo? -I guess. Goodbye.

Good afernoon ma'm. -Mama? -Eh?

If you need me, remember: Garage San Teodoro. -Okay.

Goodbye and thanks. -You're welcome. Bye.

Bye. And don't ever give up.

Happy now?

Garage San Teodoro, I'll see you some evening.

I'll pick you up, we'll go to the movies?

A movie fan! -No, a neck rub fan...

Go, go, go. -I'm going, I'm going.

What's his angle?

I'm no expert...but I lifted his wallet.

Mama! How many times have I told you that pickpocketing,

is beneath you. Only 1,000 lire! -I thought cabbies earned more!

Hey kids! Get down. Scram!

Like new? -Sure.

Why is there a dent? -I'll give you a dent!

You dropped your wallet. -Mama mia!

Thanks! What luck! My driver's license was in it!

It's lucky you found it! -Our home is hidden but not because we're shoplifters.

Ah, there you go.

I know where we met. -Where?

About 10 days ago, someone tried to steal your car.

At the mechanic, you're right!

Listen. -Eh?

It must be fate...I didn't want to say anything,

But you're such a decent guy that...

Look...I was,

I'm talking about your oldest son. -Brunetto?

Brunetto. I won't press charges,

I just want to warn you.

My oldest son Brunetto is nine and in the 4th grade.

Nine? He was at least twenty!

He was with another guy and your daughter,

and tried to steal my car! Last Sunday!

Good-for-nothing! I knew it! It was you! You! What a liar!

I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

Who was it?

Who was this brother? Was it Toto? I'll bet it was Toto!

So what? Don't I have a brother? Stop going nuts!

So I say I've got two brothers, what's the big deal?

What do you mean?

I'll be right with you. -Like this, one is a spare.

Enough, enough, enough! Tell me what you did or I'll kill you!

You'll end up in jail!

You'll end up in jail! -May I?

You disgust me. -Really? Me?

Yes you. You disgust me, okay?

What did I do to you?

Be specific. I can't stand idle chatter.

First: Did anyone steal your car? No. Okay?

Only because they were unsuccessful! -Don't interrupt me!.

Let me speak! It's worse if I get angry.

Really? -Yes. So..

First: Nobody robbed you yet you bother everyone.

Second: You say I have no brother when it so happens I have two!

But you said that.. -Don't interrupt!

I'll spell it out for you. Just to make myself clear!

I have two brothers!

Whether my oldest brother's called Toto or Brunetto isn't important.

But because he's my brother you won't turn him in..

but in fact you want to report him! Let me finish!

If anyone robbed you, I'd turn him in, brother or no!

But no one stole anything, so to be a hero you say:

"He's your brother I won't report him!"

How dishonest is this? And why shouldn't I say, "you disgust me?"

First: You're a liar. Second: You're a loudmouth!

And now if you want to talk, go ahead and talk.

Did you hear that? -I heard her, I heard her.

Certainly Lina chooses her friends badly,

but her reasoning makes sense!

My girl, you've convinced me. -Oh, really?

Don't be late. As soon as I'm finished with Fortunato we'll eat. -I'll be there.

Tell me about what's going on at the train station.

In my house there was my father, my mother,

2 grannies, 2 aunts, 4 brothers. -You told me already!

And when they talked all at once they didn't mix me up,

like you do on your own!

Listen, If I stay here another minute I'll become a murderer!

And I'll never look at you again. Not even a photograph! Understand?

So who on earth was looking for you?

Did I come looking for you?

Tell the truth for once in your life!

Come on. Just this once.

-Damn it all! - Go ahead, curse me!

Oh for Christ's sake!

I disgust you? Damn me!

Now we understand each other... I'm done...Goodbye!

Closed..Finished...Over!

How many kilometers? -740.

What have you done? Don't you see what you've done?

You smashed everything!

It's a beauty, Miss. -A perfect starter car,

For an elegant lady like yourself. -Look at this engine.

If I win the lottery I'll give it to you!

It's a beauty, like you!

Only 200,000 lire cash...

Paolo? -Get lost!

We're not going to the movies? -Lift your feet!

Go sing with someone who's got nothing better to do.

I can't say two words to your friends?

We were just chatting. What's the problem? -Figure it out!

That's no way to treat the lady.

Even if you're jealous you have no right... -Who's jealous? -You!

What did you tell them? -I didn't say anything!

Is it my fault if people see us together and think...

What do people think? What exactly?

If you don't stop I'll break your face! -I better watch out!

S'cuse me. It's my fault. I should've told you right away why I came.

I brought the 5,000 lire to repair your car.

What? -Papa sent it to you. Good day to you all.

Good day!

I'm sorry about him, Miss. -I'm sorry that he's half crazy.

Why are you meddling? Do you know who she is?

I see who you are! -You're the one that took the money!

5,000 lire! -How come?

Me take money from her? Lina, wait. Come here! Come here!

Listen! I don't want anything from you! Nothing!

All I want is to never see you again, unless..

it's to send you to jail! Or you put me there!

Of course. -Eh?

What did you say? -I said "of course." You're right to humiliate me.

Hold on. Who wants to humiliate you? -I do, because,

I know what you think. I know my destiny. Goodbye!

What are you saying? Leave me. It's better for you.

No, no, no! Finish what you say. What destiny?

For a girl like me, walking the streets.

Sleeping on park benches.

When you're young, people help you.

Later on, you sell yourself cheaply at the ports.

The ports? What ports? What are you saying?

One day they'll ship me home from Paris,

brutalized by alcohol and drugs.

I'll give you "drugs"..

Stop with the hand already! -Let me finish!

What more could you add to the nonsense you've said already?

Dear boy, what do you know of these things?

I already feel old and tired and disenchanted with everything.

What do you feel? -Eh..disenchanted.

I'll give you a smack....disenchanted!

I'm a coward. A thief. A scoundrel who'll end up in the sewers!

And I say you won't! -I will! -You won't! -I will!

And don't try to comfort me, it just makes it worse.

Listen...you see? You see? I lost my train of thought!

You really like this kind of car? Maybe the colour...

Lina, why do you go on like this? You act cynical but it's not you.

You're young, intelligent. You're...

You can't be discouraged. You need to snap out of it!

If you want, I'll..I'll stick by you and help.

As long as you want, because if not...

Okay Paolo. It's what I want.

It took you long enough.

Eh? What?

Didn't you say you'll stick by me? -Yes.

So let's go to the movies!

I didn't see the title. What's playing?

I don't know, Papa picked it. I think it's called....

"Armed and Dangerous." Isn't that right Grandma?

-Yes yes, "Armed and Dangerous."

It's a crime movie.

We shouldn't have brought the kids.

Why? Are there nude women? -Not at all. But who steals like this?

Amateurs!

Looking for cigarettes? -Yeah. I smoked them all.

I'll go buy some more. -Are you crazy? Take mine.

Better still..You're so sweet, I'll give them to you.

What's this? -I got it for you,

as a peace offering. A trifle.

It's the thought that counts.

But this is gold! -It just looks like gold.

I got it for nothing. -Sst!

If we pulled a job like that they'd arrest us all!

Good morning. Are you ill? -No why? Is it late?

I woke you 'cause I have to go.

Damn. That was some sleep!

May I, Signor Paolo? -Go ahead.

Since they've already disturbed you I'll take the ladder.

By all means Signora Palmira.

Did you change shifts? -No, why?

Last night you got in late. -Eh!

Good morning, Paolo. -Good morning.

It cooled down. Do you want it anyway? -For sure!

Come here Clara.

Look what I've got. -What's this?

You like it? -Let's go Paolo.

Not dressed yet? What's up?

What's up is "Bingo Bango Bongo I don't wanna leave the Congo."

Did you see what's written?

Let me see.

Look how the cigarettes jump up!

Congratulations. -Eh? -Congratulations!

Congratulations! -Congratulations for what?

Already at the "with all my love forever" stage? I get it!

Here.

Say bye to Daddy. -Bye.

"With All My Love Forever" -Make sure you do the right thing.

Do you know "Bingo Bango Bongo I don't wanna leave the Congo"? -No.

I'll teach it to you tonight. It's sweet. You can recite it for your exams.

You know what time it is? Where are you going?

Good morning to you all!

Hey! It's like the boss was bit by a tarantula this morning!

Someone stole something. -What?

How do I know! -That's his business. What can I do?

Hello!

Can I speak to Signora Stroppiani?

It's a matter of importance.

Sure. It's always important!

Who is it? -Someone for the telephone.

Call Signora Stroppiani. -Stroppiani? -Yeah, it's for her.

You don't have to get her.

Just call her from the street. Her hearing's good. Thanks.

Thanks!

Hello? -Hello.

Hello, Lina? -Yes?

Were you sleeping? Did I wake you? -Oh, it's you?

Are you crazy? What was I thinking?

Oh yeah. I'm crazy, eh? And we know who's fault that is.

Listen, I wanted to thank you. I never saw a nicer one.

Eh? A nicer what? -Is it really true?

Lina, are you there? -A nicer what?

Tell me if it's true. -I don't understand a thing!

Is what true? -Okay, I'll tell you tonight.

Why not tell me now if you meant what you wrote me?

I can't. -What do you mean you can't?

What a scoundrel you are!

What are you doing this afternoon? -I don't know.

I might be going with Papa to the Train Station

Ah, he's leaving? -Who said anything about leaving?

He's got business at the station. Bye. -Bye.

You say it like that? Lina! -How should I say it to you?

Good bye.

Bye.

What's up?

You had it? Some kind of a joke?

Go on...

I was up worrying the whole night!

What?

What's the big idea? You were showing off for her?

Playing a joke?

I turned the garage upside down! -He had it on 'im?

It wasn't so much the value,

but the inscription from my wife!. The hand engraving.

A big joke! Always joking!

Good afternoon. How are you? Fine, fine.

So, where did you get that cigarette case?

Eh? What? No, you stole it! Yessir, you're a miserable thief!

You stole it from my boss at the garage!

But I'll send you to jail. Just like that, see?

No no no. I don't wanna hear it! No!

Goodbye! Cross my heart! It's over!

Hey. Go call your sister!

She's not here! -I just talked to her on the phone!

She's gone. What do we care? -She's at the station with the professor!

Give me two and we're even.

You were right to keep contact,

and take him to the movies last night.

I just felt like it. -A driver is, in fact, a somebody.

Though in principle I don't approve.

Why marry a working man?

Those sleepwalking types read, write, think..

think like everyone else!

Do you like this hairstyle? -Terrible!

It's called "Windswept." -Ah. Shameful!

Bon Voyage, professor!

Down the track there's a suitcase made of wild boar.

Boar? There's no market for it. The Express is late. I'll wait.

Bon Voyage. My compliments, Miss.

People getting off that train will be late,

rushed, preoccupied, distracted. And we work best with distractions.

As I was saying, a driver is in his own way a somebody,

and also for someone in my profession,

I won't kid you, a car would come in handy.

Mh...canvas, cardboard.

A salesman. Contents: worn out slippers,

pyjamas, a toothbrush.

If you don't see that, then better to be married.

Interested? Well then,

a sample, young lady? For you too..

If I leave them here and there, people pick them up.

Afterwards they remember,

"With the cleanser "Bold," everything shines like gold." Get it?

Attention!

Now arriving on track 4, Express 276 from Milan!

Wait for me by the exit. -Okay.

I'll pass you the suitcase and you give it to Fortunato.

Yes Papa.

Go on.

Bye Papa.

Excuse me, are you waiting for someone?

Yes why? -Me too,

I just arrived but I don't see my husband.

Could you keep an eye on my suitcase while I go look for him? Thank you.

Did you find him? -No, no.

He's probably outside.

You have my bag? How kind. -Eh, yes. -Thank You.

S'cuse me. You see? Grandma has arrived.

Oh my dear!

My little beauty! -Madame, do you mind?

Oh, excuse me! -Thank you, Thank you.

Only the Express costs more, that's what I told Mimma.

First class is extra too.

Well mister, I say it isn't! -Want to bet?

Oh boy! I warn you, I'm not going second class.

The extra you spend on the train,

is what you'd spend at the Belvedere.

Let's see how right you are when I give you a slap!

The suitcase!

Carletto! -Valeria! -Someone took my suitcase!

Idiot! Where did you leave it? -Over there!

There was a man in a raincoat!

Look for him! Stop thief! -Stop thief!

I was just looking for you! Where's Lina?

Take this.

It's better we speak and settle this once and for all.

Your daughter is a thief! A thief! We have to deal with it!

Let's go. I'm in a rush.

You understand? -Yes, it's about Lina.

She deceived us both. I'm leaving!

She was born a delinquent! -Let's go before I get into another taxi!

I'll get another taxi, let's go!

Stop thief!

It was her last night.

She gave me the cigarette case as a gift. -Go! Go!

But where is Lina? -Over there! To the right! Go! GO!

Stop thief!

Stop thief! Keep shouting! -Stop thief!

But where is she?

Who? -Lina!

What do you mean "where is she?" At home, of course!

What a thief! He promised to use the German spring.

Ah! This explains your mania with luggage! Other people's luggage!

Scoundrel, you and your daughter! -Paolo, what are you thinking?

Oh no, that's it! For God's sake we're going to the police!

I'm a law abiding citizen!

Is he hurt? Pietro? Pietro?

Is that the injured driver? -Yes.

Seriously? -No. Are you family? -Yes. -Sister?

Take him to X-Ray.

Take a look at his chest and right arm.

Bring him back here after.

Paolo, calm down! -Be still!

Don't you worry! The young lady's brave.

Braver than you. It doesn't bother her at all. Bravo, Miss.

Put this on so you don't catch cold.

Are you happy now?

Poor Paolo. Does it hurt a lot? Something must be broken!

There there. Be brave.

Oh God, I can't speak!

Don't be stupid. Just hope for a good report from the doctor.

If it's a some broken bones, you'll be lucky.

Oh thanks a lot!

Papa's at the Indian Embassy looking after everything, okay?

Paolo be good. -Right this way.

What a beautiful piece of equipment!

Have you ever seen one, Miss? -No, may I?

Please. -Thanks.

In spite of this trouble, we're pretty lucky.

By coincidence, my father was at the scene of the accident.

Be still and keep your arms by your side. Lights!

Oh God!

How funny you look Paolo!

They're really broken aren't they Doctor? All the ribs are broken!

No, in fact he has a fine chest! -Excuse me miss.

Excuse me. -Ah, of course.

As I was saying, the Indian's car as big as a boat,

drove out of control and hit him.

Paolo's car wasn't moving.

Papa told me he's running to the Indian Embassy with his testimony.

Get out! -What's going on?

Didn't you hear? I said "Get out!"

What happened? -Stay calm!

I wasn't hit by any car, they're criminals!

He's never behaved like this!

Must be the knock to his head. You need to write that in your report!

Doctor, send a policeman to the embassy right away!

Before this one starts a war with India!

Calm yourself Paolo, I'm leaving.

She's very patient with him.

Why are you leaving?

It's for the best. I see the effect I have on him.

Here's what I recommend doctor.

Tell him not to worry. Papa's looking after it.

The Indians will pay for everything. Goodbye.

So I saw this big car speeding towards us.

From where? -From the left.

While the taxi... -was going very slowly.

on the right.

The voice of innocence.

I'm here because that poor fellow begged me to help him,

before they carried him away.

The Consul says,

that according to his report it was the taxi's fault.

I realize that if we found ourselves in India,

driving an elephant and crashed it into another elephant,

we'd have the feeling of being hit and ask for damages.

But that would be an error of judgement,

due to a lack of experience in driving the vehicle.

Do you follow me?

The Consul says that in India we drive more cars than elephants.

It's the same in Italy but the question is more psychological.

In any case, tell His Excellency that the victim,

is a fine young man who's worked hard for many years,

to buy a small share of his taxi.

Just a tiny piece of the whole car. And now that piece is in pieces.

Now I wonder,

what would it cost your citizens who own whole cars,

as big as trains, to be generous with this poor young man?

The Consul agrees to resolve the matter right away,

but wishes to hear from other witnesses.

Of course, right away. Let's go kids.

Thank you Consul sir.

I never doubted the generosity of the Indian people.

Gentlemen, on your feet! Here's The Consul.

Good day, Excellency.

These are them? -Yes, they were most eager to volunteer.

I'll send for the Italian Commissioner.

So Papa?

The Orientals, properly bred, are far superior,

to Westerners. Did you touch this? -No. And so?

A fine fellow The Consul. Kind. Ready to pay damages.

How much? -Everything.

I had the money in my pocket. Isn't the light working?

Leave it. And then? -I tell you It was great!

But then we went to the Commissioner.

And? -They arrested the witnesses! All of them!

Fortunato too. -So nothing!

Paolo must pay the damages. -It seems so.

I promised him. -You promised him.

If things had gone as they should,

but nothing does anymore.

Read the papers, the world's gone crazy.

You can't count on anything!

Let's sell this. -It's says "U.S. ARMY."

It's stamped. Who would take it?

Papa,

No one buys it 'cause if you're caught...

Confiscation and jail.

How long? -Depends, six months to a year.

Like for a pickpocket? -The moment you're a pickpocket,

they give you one to six years: Article 624 and 625. But you..

Forget about it.

Who's thinking about it? Besides, I don't have the talent.

I might as well get married.

Mister Paolo.

Mister Paolo, don't you see? The young lady is here!

But Mister Paolo... -Leave it, leave it.

I'm glad to see you're all in one piece.

Send her away! -But Mister Paolo.

Signora, do me a favour and ask him if an Indian came,

an ambassador, and if he brought everything he was supposed to.

We asked for 90,000 because that's what they told me at the garage.

Tell him also that he has,

my father to thank for everything.

You're still listening to her? Get rid of her!

Have patience, Mister Paolo.

And if you want my advice, don't leave her alone.

She's liable to take off with all the furniture!

Now I'll talk! Where is she?

Where'd she go?

With the warm welcome you gave her, she'll be long gone!

Fine, better still.

Ah, there you are. -So?

Don't close the door. That's no good.

You want your landlady to get ideas?

Or are you used to having girls here?

At this time of day you should close the balcony.

The heat gets in,

and the flies.

Go on! What do you want? If you even know what you want?

You told me to come!

Me? -Yes, you!

Or was it me? You or me, It doesn't matter who said it.

Anyway I might have to go away for awhile. -Yes!

Maybe a year. Between one and six years. -Eh?!

If you throw me out you won't see me again.

Well, I'm satisfied that everything went well.

With Papa it always ends up okay.

So then -But...

Bye.

What went well? What went well?

You know where I'm going now, you wretch?

You disaster! A world class disaster!

They fixed my taxi.

Now I'm going to kneel in front of my boss and beg him to let me work!

"Let me work I beg you. I'll pay you back one day at a time for the rest of my life."

That's what you've done to me!

Paolo! You're not suggesting that you didn't get the money.

Oh, Mama mia! -No!?

What money? Who was supposed to give me the money?

The Ambassador!

Everything was agreed between the Commissioner and Papa and everyone!

I was positive. Otherwise how would I dare come here?

Don't you worry!

I'll go to the embassy. I have an appointment with Papa.

No, you're not going anywhere because you don't have to go anywhere.

As for your father, I hope never to see him again!

Papa says the same as you.

He doesn't want me to see you anymore either. -What?

Look, I don't want to argue. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Let me go, they'll pay you, and we'll never speak of it again.

Who's supposed to pay me? And why, if it's my fault?

I didn't signal! I turned suddenly!

I turned to the left and... -You see, you're not even sure!

To begin with,

First: These days the rich are always at fault.

Second: The Ambassador is an Indian.

What difference does it make if you went left, right, straight as an arrow.

Why complicate things?

Indians are Indians. They're very nice.

Not to mention they own the world's most beautiful jewels.

Look, Lina! -You're so conceited!

Do you know more than an ambassador? -Listen to her!

You know.. -I know that every word you say is a lie!

You can't help it!

Only lies. Since the day I met you!

The brother, the cigarette case...

Slow down, slow down.. -What do you mean slow down?

What cigarette case? -How shameless you are!

Okay, where did you buy it?

I didn't buy it. It was a gift.

And if you insist, I can even tell you who.

Yes, I insist. -The boss at your garage!

But he went crazy looking for it!

Yes, your boss offered me a cigarette and I..

I remember perfectly, I was in that glassy little room,

How can you stand it? You can't even breathe in there.

And then?

And then what? You need to rub it in?

He was being funny, showing me how,

the cigarettes popped out. -And then?

And then enough! You make me angry Paolo!

You make a big thing out of every stupid story!

Who did this. Who did that,

and on, and on, and on!

If I think of how happy I was to give you a present,

I could give myself a slap! A slap!

Now you see how no one can possibly reason with you!

Okay, will you let me speak?

What else have you been doing up to now?

What? -I said "feel free to speak."

Dammit!

Speak!

Paolo, what are you doing? Aren't we fighting?

Stop it. You're taking advantage. You know I love it when you hold me.

What if I never hold you again?

Isn't that what you're doing now?

Listen Lina, what's all this about leaving?

Did you just say that to make me angry?

It would make it easier if I left.

Why? when? -By tonight. But I hope not.

How is that possible? So sudden? And you don't even know for how long.

It's not up to me. I don't set the time.

What do you mean? -We'll see how things turn out.

Look Lina, it'll all turn out fine. Don't talk about it anymore.

Will you?

Paolo...

Paolo! It's the guy from the garage!

Mister Paolo, may I? Yes, yes. Of course.

You're wanted at the garage right away.

I get it.

It's a sign. I bet it's the boss.

The taxi's fixed? You saw it?

I can come back to work? Tell him I'll be there right away!

Great, great!

Yes. I've got news for him too! I'll be right over. Bye.

Did you hear? -Yes.

I give you my ring and the boss sends for me.

You know what that means?

Today we start all over again. -Okay.

A fresh start. -Yes.

Where are the keys? -In your coat pocket..

Thanks. Will you come along? -Only to the entrance.

But why? -A fresh start. Remember?

Goodbye Signora. -Goodbye.

Bye Paolo.

Look at the mess they made of this car.

Who ever saw a car like this? Looks like a map.

See the masterpiece?

This car here,

suits me just fine.

The boss wants you. He's got a surprise for you. C'mon.

Good day. So they brought the money, eh?

That's what they want from you. -Say what?

And they want it now.

Is this a joke? This is a big misunderstanding.

I was told that they were bringing it!

Hey look. Speak to the Ambassador. He's giving me a hundred thousand.

Paolo, you're being an idiot. It's you that has to cough up the money.

~The money!

Dammit all!

What happened? -To think that I believed her.

That miserable..

Relax! You go on like that and next thing you know she reels you back in. Take it easy! Relax!

Shall we go?

Oh....So?

So nothing! He said 5:00. -It's 5:30

She's right! We answer to the boss now!

You arrange, you plan, you decide...

I came up with the idea. So I arrange, I plan, I decide.

If you agree fine. If not, goodbye!

And to be clear, I'm not taking a third.

What?? -I'm taking half.

Find some other shoes and change that shirt.

What's wrong with you? -Everyone on the 53 bus will look at you.

Papa was right, you don't know how to work. Let's go!

And not so close! Behind me!

Lina? Hello Papa.

Lina....Lina!

Papa, I've always done it my way.

Mind asking your friends to step back?

What do you want? -Step back!

Just a minute. I'll be right there.

Okay.

Good day. -Good day. -So what now?

Have you got 200 lira? -That's what this is about?

Two eggnog milkshakes. -Here they are. -It'll do you good.

My girl, you're not making sense.

You ask me if you can go to the movies,

but you don't ask me if you can steal a car.

Who's stealing a car? I'm leaving now. They're waiting for me. Bye.

Lina....come here.

Where are you going?

The "53." -Ah, pickpocketing on the bus.

Too simple. So beneath you.

And with those two there?

So? -Come on Lina!

Nowadays only decent working people take the bus.

You risk robbing a pensioner.

Papa, you know I need to come up with 100,000 lira.

I said 90,000. -Same thing.

By the end of the day.

I promised him that you got the Ambassador to agree.

And he believed it? -Papa, that's how he is.

He always believes me.

Well, he's quite a fool. You chose well.

Who chose? Gimme a break!

But do we want him to die heartbroken?

Don't worry. I've experienced plenty of heartbreak,

but I've never seen anyone die of it. On the contrary,

one could even suggest that heartbreak prolongs life itself.

It's a topic not sufficiently examined, but worth pursuing.

Now then, the "53." The route goes through the well to do area.

If you get it right, all you'll need is one pocketbook.

Is it really that serious? -Yes, Papa.

Okay, then you go,

with me! -Papa!

Time for a change. -Alright!

Lina.

Sorry, but we're done here. Bye!

Bloody Hell, she made us come all the way out here.

Wait. Are we gonna take that from her? Come on.

You see,

faith...I'm just going to show some faith... Imbecile! Stupid idiot. Jackass!

Big fat fool. Stupid moron! You dug your own grave!

Enough. It's useless to speak of it further. Goodbye. Adios. Slam the door. Finished!

What's to discuss?

Ticket.

And the pastry? You forgot it on the seat as usual, eh?

No, it's right here.

Oh, this bus. Sorry.

Look! -He's got it. -No he doesn't. -He's got it!

Drop it now! I see you! Stop them! Those two thieves!

Stop them! Stop thief! Stop thief!

Are you crazy? -From the nut house?

The pastry! -Here it is!

I say. That's my wallet!

Thanks to me. I rescued it! Here!

Stay calm. What happened? Where's the thief?

Aha! It's you!!

No! I was robbed! -He's right. He was the victim.

No, they're the thieves. Those two! -Who? -These two...these four!

Excuse me but how dare you accuse perfect strangers?

Perfect strangers, eh? What nerve!

Now you'll pay for everything! For the train station,

for the car, for the cigarette case. You'll see!

You see that? -What's wrong?

A theft! Thieves! -I'm only the night guard.

You should always be on duty! -Take them to the Police Station.

I go on duty in an hour!

And what am I supposed to do? I have to stay with the bus. Get up!

Take them to any jail in Rome. -Be my guest.

Take 'em all to the police!

We're leaving. Come, we'll get a taxi.

What taxi? You must come to the police with us!

For what? -For your testimony! To straighten everything about those two!

What's he saying? -Don't worry dear. Leave it to me.

Watch those two! They're thieves. Don't let them escape!

The Police Station..where's that? -Close by. Come, I know the way.

I apologize. What a world!

What do you earn as a night guard? Can you make a living?

With God's good graces I make a living.

Can one join easily? -Just apply.

You never notice a thing. Keep your eyes on the pastry!

Hey! There's Paolo!

Hello Paolo! -Compliments to the Miss.

What "Miss?"

Remember when they tried to steal my car?

I got all four of them!

Isn't one of them your fiancé? -What "fiancé?"

Come wih us to the Police Station. For the safety of the other drivers!

Let's go!

And do you get a pension? -Oh please! After 30 years of service...

Shame on you. Give me the pastry! -But why? -Because I say so!

Watch out for the broken step. Madame, there's a broken step. Careful.

Thank you.

Still, the job has many advantages: The night, the solitude, the silence.

Funny it never occured to me before.

After all, I'm an ex-military man...

The stairs begin to tire me.

You're telling me!

You hold the crust like that? That does it! We'll give it to the dog.

No, I'll hold it like this!

Call the chief. -What do you want?

We're reporting a.. -Hold on!

Let's go in order. We should speak to the Police Commissioner.

then we fill out a report.

Would you announce us please?

Professor Stroppiani...

and friends. -The Chief is busy.

You'll have to wait a bit. Make yourselves comfortable.

Make yourselves comfortable.

The Chief is taking down a confession. Is there anything I should do?

-Yeah, stop wasting time,

and look after things, got it? -Yes sir!

But for the record you're defending. -Eh.

You'll have to wait. I'm sorry.

What are we even doing here? Who am I accusing?

Exactly, my dear friend. One could say that the whole thing,

is a regrettable misunderstanding.

You're not listening to him are you?

He's a thief who uses his daughter!

A disgrace. A father that uses his daughter,

to reel in fools like me..and you!

Yes. And these two are the guys that work with them.

What are you saying...

Calm down.

If we all agreed, we wouldn't be here, right?

Cappucinos! -Calm down. -Cappucinos. Here you go.

Who's this for? -Perfect. Put it down here.

In fact, we'll have something else. Madame, would you like something?

Yes, an orange juice. -For me a rhubarb liqueur.

Orange soda. -And you two?

A chocolate ice cream. -A beer.

So, two orange, a rhubarb, a beer, and a chocolate cream.

Lina, do you want a coffee? -Thank you Papa.

And for them? -Coffee, coffee. -Coffee. -Coffee with a shot.

Four coffees. These are getting cold.

Bring another four.

As I was saying, it's quite normal for everyone to have their own opinion.

But here there's been talk of theft. So the question arises,

who benefits?

Who..stands to gain?

How much did you have in your wallet?

Tell them.

120,000 lira cash and checks for about a million.

Brank drafts, luckily.

Luckily? They can be cashed just as easily.

They're as good as cash. -Huh? If you lose them, for sure.

There are a lot of fellows who with 100,000 or even 90,000 lira,

could solve all their problems.

What are you insinuating? -I'm just making a point.

I know you needed 90,000 lira and he had 120,000.

You see? You see what's going on? He's accusing me of being the thief!

You know how it works. The girl catches the eye of some fool,

who believes he's made a conquest, meanwhile her accomplice...

Oh really? That's the second time you've accused my husband.

Are you listening to this?

And you have nothing to say? So it's true!

But... -You filthy pig!

At your age! -But I...

Young lady, please tell them. I might have...

but I never... -Speak up young lady.

Nothing would surprise me.

For years I put up with him. Years! Now it's enough!

Don't be ridiculous! -Don't touch me. You're disgusting!

Madame...Take this, sonny, and learn something.

Madame, I'm much older than you.

I could be your father.. or even your older brother.

How can you believe these shocking accusations?

Let's stop and think...

Your husband and I are in the same situation.

You're husband's accused of indecency, and I'm accused of theft.

Accused by the same person who didn't stop and do two important things:

Stop and think.

You may ask, "Where do I,"

"fit into this story?"

Isn't it possible that the winding path of fate's arrow,

takes it's time to reach a person...

Stop! Save your "arrow" story for the Chief of Police!

You don't understand a thing. Put down the cup.

Take a moment, Madame. Like I do.

How can you compare yourself to this charlatan?

If you only knew what a hellish life.

Married at 18. A rare flower, dear sir. -I believe it.

Here we go. -You had the orange soda, right?

Elsa, please, don't be ridiculous!

And you? What's this got to do with you?

What do you want? -Who, me? -You!

What do you mean?

Don't you understand. The whole thing is a trick to throw us off the scent!

He's the thief! -Me?

He had the wallet in his hand! Him!

I surprised him! I raised the alarm!

I caught him red-handed! -You? Go on!

Forget it! -Well, who's denouncing who?

As I was saying, it's not easy for everyone to agree.

You had the rhubarb? -Yes, thanks.

Thanks Lina. And you two, beer and an ice cream.

I'll pour. Or do you want the waiter to do it? -I had the orange soda.

Quiet! What's going on?

Nothing, we're waiting for the Commissioner.

That lady's first,

but if the Commissioner's busy we can come back tomorrow.

If it's not urgent that would be better. The Chief is on his way out.

No it's urgent! Very urgent!

I ordered a cappuccino.

Hello Chief. No more cappuccino. An orange soda?

Please take. I am Professor Stroppiani.

What is this? A snack bar? Who are you? What are you doing here?

Chief, I brought him here. It involves a pickpocketing on the bus.

The 53, from the Parioli district. -Who's accusing? Who's the thief?

Truly it's a bit unclear. -No, it's perfectly clear!

Who are you? You know them? So it seems. Get his papers!

They brought me to testify but I didn't see a thing.

I brought him to testify! Me!

You'll speak when I ask!

And them? Are they thieves too? -Yes sir, the other two thieves.

They wanted to steal my car a month ago. It's one big story...

-Crazy!! -What do you know?

-Quiet! And who are you?

Taxi drivers Mister Commissioner sir. -At your service.

What do they have to do with this?

Mister Commissioner, they're friends of my fiancé.

And you? -My daughter Lina.

Thank you.

And so?

Go on Paolo, tell him...

Tell the Commissioner why we're here.

A misunderstanding. A terrible misunderstanding.

Do you take sugar? -Thanks.

A misunderstanding. These youngsters didn't even realize what they were doing.

No Papa, Paolo's no fool. He knows what he's saying.

Of course I know. I know very well.

Was she the one robbed? -No no.

I was the one they robbed. -So what is it you want then?

I saw the theft and did my duty!

And don't forget these two for the car!

All I know is that I saw the wallet in his hand!

I only took it to return it!

It's true. He returned it right away. Everyone saw it, right?

It was a fine display of honesty,

because there was a lot of money in the wallet,

and Paolo had to come up with 90,000 lira today,

to pay for the repairs on his car, right?

He was really honest. A credit to his profession.

In his place, I would've kept it.

Fine. And you? Who do you want to report?

Mister Commissioner, Paolo wants to report everyone.

Above all me. He says I'd be better off in prison.

Is he crazy? -What?

Absurd. -You. Witnesses. We're listening.

Me first. Excuse me Comissioner but I didn't see anything.

And I saw something? -No, fellows, wait!

I wasn't even on the bus. -I'm not sticking my neck out.

Do you realize how serious this is?

I called them here to testify about the car robbery.

From before!

But dearest, all we need is testimony as to your character.

He's a good person and the most honest anywhere.

Moreso, today has proven that,

you should thank him and give him a percentage.

-I'm not sure how much. -Me? Give him?

Of course, the 10 per cent. It's the law! -Certainly. Certainly. Certainly.

Certainly, if I'm the thief!

You're the thief? -Eh...

Don't pay any attention. I told you what I saw...

Quiet! Proceed.

If I'm the thief like Paolo insists,

Paolo should get his percentage, and me...

I'm happy to go to jail.

How much time do I get for pickpocketing, Mister Commissioner?

Depends. Up to six years.

You hear that Paolo?

I'll be locked up for a long time and you'll be satisfied.

What're you saying? -You shut up! What a hard hearted...

What shenanigans! Let's go over this again.

Are you saying that the young lady is the thief?

No, no. I'm saying... -That the young lady isn't the thief.

Okay then.

The young lady says that you're not the thief.

And I believe her.

Why? Thieves have a completely different look.

Which one's Paolo Sivestrelli? -It's me. What is it?

Come with me for a moment please. -Go! Go!

Finally you can talk to your heart's content. Run along!

Paolo!

Don't worry, he's in good hands.

As we were saying. It's not him,

and the young lady..out of the question.

You're the famous witnesses...

He's the night watchman and who are the thieves? Those two over there?

Put down that stuff! -Mister Commissioner...

Is it those two? -I've never seen them before!

So where does that leave us? You're the victim and you're his wife, so...

So who are the thieves? -Exactly.

A misunderstanding. -Oh!

We've been wasting His Honours's time.

Further proof we've been inconsiderate,

especially since there was no theft,

as you have the wallet, right Madam?

I'm not talking. I'll talk at home.

Okay, let's go. It's stifling in here, right? -Right.

Please Miss, after you.

Now let's tidy up that small matter... -What matter?

The 10% for the person who found the wallet.

Don't make me laugh! -The law is no laughing matter!

He'll find out soon enough, don't you worry.

And the drinks? -Charge it to The Commisioner.

To the precinct...I remember you well. During the Allied occupation.

-What do you mean black market?

This says Silvestrelli Pietro. My name's Paolo! In those days I was stationed in Brindisi!

Silvestrelli Paolo! -I drove a truck for someone else.

And carried contraband. -I carried potatoes to the police.

What do potatoes have to do with the police? -Oh God,

I brought potatoes to the police cafeteria!

Nothing on Silvestrelli Paolo! -There! Okay?

Yeah, okay. Your type always has a good alibi!

But you always end up at the police station!

-That'll be 580. -What do you want?

Stupid idiot! Bang my head on a wall!

You see?

Paolo! They let you go, I'm so glad.

Come with me!

I ought to fill your face with slaps! -So let me have it.

Can I help you?

How much are the onions? -55. -Too expensive.

-S'cuse me. -Keep walking!

I ought to fill your face with slaps!

I get it. But hurry up, they're watching us.

Why I outta... -No! Shame on you!

What? -Yes, shame on you!

It's true, nothing should surprise me nowadays but...

What are you saying? What's it your business?

Can't my husband do as he pleases without asking your permission?

Your husband? -For your own good, you shouldn't jump to conclusions.

Completely crazy!

Are you intimidated by this guy? -Me?

Does my husband ask what you do with your wife? Eh?

Enough!

Shut up! -Okay!

You always let people walk all over you.

Me? -Yes you!

Well then, will you slap me or not? I deserve it!

You said I was your husband?

I'm your husband? -Yes!

Ah! Bravo! Finally!

Okay!

Have you gone crazy?

Step aside!

Kids, what are you doing? Have you gone crazy?

I'll seize that! Madame, please!

Stand back! Move along! Move along! Stand back!

Oh! Will you look at them? How long have they been kissing?

53 seconds by my watch!